So, yeah, I know it’s been a while since I updated. I ended up being really, REALLY busy on Earth Online for a while, so whenever I got done with all my dailies, I was too damn tired to worry about blogging. The worst part of the grind is over now, though, so I should be able to be a little better about updating here.

So speaking of blog matters, there’s a site that some of you probably know about called Klout that tries to measure how influential people are online (to questionable degrees of success). You get a score out of 100, and people can give you these kinda-sorta thumbs-ups for topics you’re supposedly an expert on. And I guess they have some other ways of gauging topics where people consider you “influential.”

So for instance, the Klout people think I’m influential when it comes to blogging, poetry, and comedy. (No word on why “kicking ass,” “being fucking awesome,” and “lemon squares” didn’t make this list.) I don’t know where the comedy part comes from, unless they’re talking about the supporting cast I’m stuck with, and even then I’d consider them more of a tragedy than a comedy, personally. But whatever, I guess that’s their point of view.  Comedy is the tragedy that happens to someone else, and tragedy is the comedy that happens to you.

Anyway, I recently got a notice from the Klout people that because of my expertise (damn right, show the proper respect, bitches), I was eligible to answer questions from other Klout users. So when I opened up my page, I had a bunch of trial questions to answer, in Tweet-ish short answer form. And so I figured, I can’t deprive you all of the wisdom I imparted here. So here, copy-and-pasted directly from my submissions on the site…

How should I get started blogging?

First, find a goblin who has a lot of free time and tell him he’s going to set the site up for you because it would be a shame if there was a major fire in the Bilgewater slums. No, you can’t have my goblin, get your own. Then sit your ass down and start typing. When you run out of ideas, stop.

Are there any blogging resources you would recommend?

Yes. Again, you definitely want to have a tech goblin working for you who can set up the site and maintain it and explain nerdy technical shit like deleting. Because the last thing you want is to get stuck having to sit at a computer all day. Again, no, you can’t have mine.

Which blog host site do you prefer and why?

Not that one. I hear it sucks.

What advice can you give someone who wants to make money blogging?

You can make money blogging? That’s fucking news to me! My only suggestion is that no matter how awesome your content is, you absolutely, positively cannot be drawing on somebody else’s intellectual property. Then again, that would be pretty fucking lame in the first place, so, you know.

How can I tell if my content is funny?

Ask yourself this question: Do people laugh at you a lot? If no, I have bad news for you. If yes, ask yourself this follow-up question: When they laugh at you, were you trying to make them laugh? If yes, you’re probably funny. If no…well…hello, Utvoch.

What subject matter should I write my poetry about?

Well for one, you could write about how you don’t end a sentence with a preposition. Whatever you do, don’t try writing poetry about telling Varian Wrynn to go fuck himself, because I’m telling you right now, I’ve got that shit covered.

Yes, I actually submitted all these. Why do you ask?

I have not yet received a notification from the Klout people to thank me for my insight and confirm that my answers would be posted with all due haste. But I’m guessing they’ve just been busy on Earth Online too and I’ll be hearing from them soon enough.

While I’ve got everyone’s attention, though, and while we’re on the subject of poetry, let me remind everyone that the Garrosh’s Poetry Challenge LIVE BLOG will be tomorrow night, April 14. I’ll put up a setup post that evening asking for you all to give me suggestions for EPIC VERSE topics and themes, and start time for the live blog will be 8:00 PM EDT. I’ll be composing a new EPIC VERSE masterpiece based on the suggestions you all make that night, and you’ll get to watch it being composed line by line, live and in person. BE THERE OR BE PREPARED TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF TO YOUR GRANDCHILDREN YEARS FROM NOW WHEN THEY COME TO YOU LIKE “GRANDMA, WTF?!”