Into the mists
Brief update today, but an important one.
I had a meeting this morning with General Nazgrim. He’s been overseeing our naval operations since the whole Northwatch Hold fiasco. He had good news concerning recent victories at sea…and one piece of odd news.
This new land mass Nazgrim reported isn’t on any of our charts. It’s more or less in a region of the Great Sea that our ships wouldn’t have much reason ever to go near. But by all indications, the land mass is huge — not so much an island as a whole freaking CONTINENT. I’m not sure HOW it could have been there all this time without anyone ever noticing it.
Anyway, as the General reported, the Alliance had a ship run aground there, with some of our ships pursuing, and I don’t have to tell you I’m not at all thrilled by the idea of the Alliance making any headway on this new land ahead of us. So I’ve issued new orders to Nazgrim: he’s to assemble an elite force of our best people and take the Hellscream’s Fist, our newest gunship, to this new land and take whatever steps are necessary to ensure that the Horde, not the Alliance, secures a foothold there. A foothold to begin with, that is. Soon to be followed by a giant Horde insignia draped across the whole damn continent.
Here’s where you all come in. By the time you read this, some of you will have already received orders to join General Nazgrim’s forces on the Hellscream’s Fist. More of you will have the chance to head to the new continent with subsequent detachments we’ll be assembling. Once you’re there, I’m going to need information, and lots of it. Nazgrim is a good man, and thorough, but it never hurts to have a few extra sets of eyes when it comes to recon. So I need all of you to get down there and report back on what you find — bring your discoveries to the General, obviously, but while you’re at it, I want you to be sending updates to me directly as well. Going forward, I’m going to try to devote a part of my mailbags to reviewing your reports from the field.
So what are you waiting for? You heard me. Report to your assignments and get down there. YOUR WARCHIEF NEEDS INTELLIGENCE.
Hmm… I maybe want to rephrase that. Anyway.
FOR THE HORDE!
To the Warchief:
Made landfall a couple of days ago. The good news is: We smashed the Alliance presence where we landed into powder. The bad news: They were pretty well established. We got smashed pretty hard ourselves, though you’ll be delighted to know that even the battered remnants of a Horde task force were sufficient to take out an entire Alliance air base. Also, I would like to register my irritation at the loss of a damn good tiger. Could some future zeppelins include parachutes designed for pets?
Made contact with the locals. Actually there seem to be two types of locals, both furry. The first lot are pretty big, taller than an orc. Remind me a little of those furbolg, except these are smart enough to argue philosophy. The other sort are less endowed in the language department, but they’re aggressive enough for our purposes. We’ve already made steps towards recruiting them for the Horde.
Send more healers with further detachments. We lost all of ours, and Shademaster Kiryn has found some *interesting* new diseases in the water around here.
I’ve gotten other reports of the Alliance presence down there, and I’m more than a little bothered by it — first of all for the loss of the Hellscream’s Fist, and also for the damage they apparently did to the initial Horde fleet to arrive in Pandaria. We might have underestimated the size of the Alliance force down there, but we’ll more than make up for it with the next task force we send down there, which rest assured will include plenty of healers.
As for the locals… I’ve met some of the pandas now, and as for the second type you mentioned…are those the “hozen” people I’ve been hearing about? The monkey people? They sound…I don’t even know. They sound like something. I guess.
As for the pandas, yeah, they’ve got a leg up on the furbolgs when it comes to debating philosophy, but tell me this: will THEY recognize me as an archbishop?
Warchief-
I also have made landfall and I must say the natives are fascinating. If you like to drink beer this place is more awesome than your wildest dreams. The Panderan are friendly for the most part but most of the other races are out to kill anyone and everyone. I have however made some inroads with a splinter faction of the Mantids who are at odds with the ruling faction of the Mantids and I hope that relationship will prove fruitful for the Horde. I heard a rumor that Prince Anduin was captured but that a group of Tauren released him. You might want to check into that.
Toka
I’d heard about the beer, and now I’ve seen the beer bellies to prove it, so yeah, I can’t deny I’m looking forward to getting out there for a weekend at some point soon.
But hang on…ANDUIN was out there? And…we CAUGHT him? And he fucking GOT AWAY? How the FUCK does THAT shit happen?
Yeah, I think Krog’s going to be getting a few more specific assignments down there…
As for these “mantid” things… Huh, interesting. They’ll bear watching, and I suppose it’s a good thing that you’re making connections. Gotta say, though, this whole business where part of the faction breaks away and turns on the leader of the faction because they don’t approve of how the faction leader is going about their business? That doesn’t sit too well with me for some reason.
To Warchief Hellscream:
There is much resource in the way of previously unknown herbs. The most fascinating so far has been what the Pandaren refer to as “Desecrated Herb”, which is produced by herbs that have been touched by the presence of a Sha. Unfortunately, there has been no further use discovered for it beyond being millable by scribes. (But one can hope that the Apothecary society will come up with something.)
If nothing else, my shaman friend has been very good at collecting the herbs and sending them my way. I suppose that is no surprise, given that she’s a troll.
— Chrystie
I would highly, highly recommend not letting your troll friend talk you into actually lighting up those “desecrated” herbs. That sounds like a horribly bad trip just waiting to happen.
I may have to see about getting a batch of that stuff shipped over to the Undercity, though. I’d be willing to bet our man Faranell would come up with some use for it. (Smart money says “some use” will end up starting with P, ending with E, and in between sounds like the name of a shallow body of water.)
Having spent some time in the newly discovered world, I’ve made friends with some of the locals who call themselves ‘The Golden Lotus’. One of the villages near their enclave is called Mistfall, near White Petal Lake. Outside the inn there’s a chicken playing an instrument. It reminds me of the EO NPC Elvis…. Maybe I’ve had too much of that beer that Toka mentions.
Hang on, hang on, important question: Are you talking about early, thin NPC Elvis? Or the later, fat, jumpsuit-wearing NPC Elvis? Or the current NPC Elvis, the one they patched in after his supposed “death” (Apparently Memphis was merely a setback) and supposedly is still flying around on the EO version of the Exodar?