Tag Archives: felweed’s a hell of a drug
Remind me not to do that again
Okay, so maybe that wasn’t such a hot idea. Believe me, as of this morning, I’m paying for it. So this is going to be a short post, seeing as right now just looking at the computer screen is making my eyes hurt, and my head still kind of feels like it’s swimming around in oatmeal.
UGH.
The worst part of it is, it ended up being for nothing, because even though APPARENTLY T’chali did know what became of Sabellian or Sablemane or whatever the fuck we’re calling him this week, and even though I guess he TOLD me…damned if I can remember any of it. And no way am I going back up there to try to get the information out of T’chali again, because I’m pretty sure I know how that’s going to end up. Either more incoherent blogging or a dead troll.
So bottom line, yeah, we’ve got one of the last children of Deathwing running around loose somewhere, presumably somewhere in Outland, but who knows what he’s up to or where. But hey, you know what, if nobody else seems to think this is something to worry about, and they’re content to kick back and smoke another bowl or play catch with their bear or something, hey, fine. I’m going to leave a heads-up with Greatmother in Nagrand and with Nazgrel over in Thrallmar just so people are aware that, you know, there’s the outside chance of a fucking BLACK DRAGON showing up one day, but other than that, pfft, whatever. It’s your planet, guys. Have fun.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go brush my teeth and take a nap before I start heading back to Azeroth. The hell with this shit.
Dazed and confused
HAHAHA you guys are awesome LOL!
OKay so I went bavk to T’chali in Gruul’s old cave likei said I was going to and asked T’chali about that Baron Sablemane dude because I bet he’s up to siome kind of fucked up shit wherever he is up thre where he is. SO. ANd so like T’chali didn’t want ot talk right away cause he was too busy drinking with some of his oger buddies and by the way did i mention those ogres actually have some pretty good beer? LIke i would not have expected it byut YAH. SO. He totally was stuck on happy hour which I don’t know why they call it happy hour cause it’s def longer than an hour and OMG Hahaha thats actually pretty cool. SO. Anyways. Anyways it was pretyy obvious he wasn’t interested in talking much with anyone who wasn’t part of the gang so I figured I was goinffgg to have to get buddy buddy with him which was going to be a pain cause I don’t get on too well with trolls except T’chali’s actually kind of cool so I like him because he is cool. And pluis a;lso the ogres have some really really good beer.
SO. We had a couple drinks and I was still kinda being all cranky pants which T’chali said he coiuld probably help fix that and now that I think of it he was probably right because he’s pretty cool, and so I figured whta the hell lets try out that hookah he’s always talking about and so YA i see why he’s always tlkaing about it. I’ll be hoinest I don’t know if I would be offering to share that stuff with people if I had it, I probably would just keep it for myself HAHAHA SUCKERS HA!
I wonder if anyone has any chocolate cookies around here. I could totally go for some cookies.
ANd yeah so the thing with Baron SAblemane, because that’s what I went to talk to T’chali about, and he’s pretty cool it turns out and HAHAHAHA he’s a funny guy like there was the whole thing he was tlkaing about with the guy, and you know. LOL! What was I saying? OH. Barion SAblemane. WHO IS TOTALLY A DRAGON CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT with wings and claws like RAAAAARRR hahaha. Rar. OH AND T’chali totally KNEW about it too cause I guess when T’chali was fighting one of Gruul’s sons Sablemane came to help him an he WHOOSH turned into um, into, what was his dragon name again, into Sybian? no wait thats someone I think Garona was talking about with Proudleslie OK so whatever OH OH OH now I remember SABELLIAN, so ya he showed up, and went WHOOSH and turned into Sabellian the dragon, and went RAAARR and Gruul’s kid shit himself. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that’s funny/.
Are you sure theres no cookies here.
What was I saying?
OH YAH cookies.
No wait. Um…
Um.
OMG sorry I was wathcing my hand move. Have you TRIED That that shit is freaky hahahahaa.
But yeah. SO. So yeah the Baron guy is TOTALLY a black dragon for sure, whic h is weird because what would a dragon be doing in Stratholme or Naxxramas right? Um…no wait, hold on, I think… OH YA that’s a different Baron, sorry my bad LOL. Because THIS baron is the one who is a DRAGON. SSSSSSHHHHH its a secret
Sorry dropped my pen was laughing too much hehehe.
But so after Baron Sablemane helped T’chali scare the shit out of Gruul’s son HAHAHAHA scared the shit out of him. Or maybe killed him. I’m not to clear on that and WHAT THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO DO FOR SOME COOKIES. Anyway so Sablemane took off after that and OMG did HE take the cookies with him???
No wait that was a long time ago I think. Hahaha dragon flying with a big box of cookies heeheehee HA.
No but he left and lucky for us T’chali says he heard him mention where he was going to and thats good because he probabkly isnt up to any gfood and so now we can go track him down cause T’chali heard where we was going DID YOU KNOW THAT? Haha he’s funny. T’chali not the dragon, I don’t know him. What was I…?
OH OH OH yeah so he heard where he was going and so now I know where he was going, and so see, it totally makes sense because like…um, where he went…
Um…
SO.
HAHAHAHAHAAAAA jlkhsdfa
Long live the king
So here’s a curveball I didn’t see coming. After I talked with Rexxar, I flew to Bloodmaul Ravine to see what was going on with the ogres. Sure enough, they all seemed a lot more relaxed than I would have figured. There used to be a time when the Bladespire and Bloodmaul ogres were at each other’s throats, but now they’re acting like old friends – joking around, drinking together, the whole nine yards. Thing is, though…if you take a few deep breaths around there, it’s not too hard to figure out why everybody’s so much more mellow.
Uh huh.
Let’s put it this way: felweed’s a hell of a drug.
And I know what you’re going to say – isn’t felweed used for potions, like isn’t it medicine? Well seriously, dude…it’s ALL medicine, you know?
So it took some looking around, but I finally tracked down this new king of the ogres at the cave that used to be Gruul’s lair. And you’ll never guess this one – the new king of the ogres? A fucking TROLL. Specifically, a troll witch doctor named T’chali. Which was a hell of surprise to me, as I’m sure it is for you too if you’ve heard of this guy, because last I knew, fucker was supposed to be DEAD, buried alive by the Bloodmaul ogres down at the southern end of the canyon. All he would say about that was “Reports of me deat’ be greatly exaggerated, mon,” whatever the hell that means, and I really don’t know why I’m even surprised anymore when people who are supposed to be dead turn up alive again, because apparently that’s just the thing to do these days.
Anyway, T’chali was just a bundle of laughs, by which I mean, dude couldn’t stop laughing his ass off over nothing in particular, but it wasn’t hard to figure out why, seeing as every five minutes he was offering me a hit from his hookah. I’m not even exaggerating, every other thing out of his mouth was “hookah, mon” this and “hookah, mon” that. Fucking stoner.
When he wasn’t busy cracking up over the fact that his feet moved when he walked, I was able to get the story out of him about how he ended up becoming king. A ways back he’d gone on a whole big chain of quests for the ogres to help them break free of Gruul and his sons – this was before Gruul finally got his ass handed to him a few years ago. Eventually after all he did to help them, the ogre mystics gave him the blessing to visit Ogri’la – I guess this is some kind of a big deal to these ogres – and proclaimed him king of the Bloodmaul and Bladespire alike. Based on what I can see, it wasn’t long before he got some brews going and got the hookahs fired up, and I’m going to stick my neck way, WAY out and say that productivity in ogre-land probably took kind of a dive right around that point.
T’chali did mention one thing that didn’t really hit me until I’d left. He had made a passing reference to getting some help in his adventures from a human named Baron Sablemane, who had an axe to grind with the gronn for killing countless relatives of his. It didn’t hit me until later that the gronn in Blade’s Edge Mountains had been responsible for killing huge numbers of black dragons…and that there had been a high-ranking black dragon in Outland named Sabellian…which would fit right into how COMPLETELY uncreative most of these dragons are about their humanoid alter egos. (I mean seriously, people WEREN’T supposed to figure out that Victor Nefarius was Nefarian? Really?) And it would also mean there’s a son of fucking Deathwing still running around loose in Outland.
I asked Rexxar about this when I got back to Thunderlord Stronghold, and check this out – not only does Rexxar know about this Baron Sablemane guy, and not only did he confirm T’chali’s description of him and his personality and his woe-be-to-Gruul-and-his-sons-for-slaughtering-my-kin obsession, all of which might as well have been capped off with giant glowing letters over his head that read <Hey Guess What Everyone I’m the Son of Deathwing>, but Rexxar actually considers this guy a FRIEND of his.
Apparently the thought never occurred to Rexxar that anything might be up with this guy. Um…BLINDERS, anyone? Seriously? So I figure I’m not getting a lot of help from Rexxar in checking up on this. So I’m going to pay T’chali another visit later tonight and see if I can get anything else useful out of him.
[Header image provided by Rioriel from Postcards From Azeroth, reproduced here with permission and many thanks. Click here to see the souped-up Postcard version!]
