Tag Archives: guild chat

Spazzle Speaks: Refer a Friend

earthonline6

Things have been quiet for a few days, thank goodness. Garrosh has been busy with whatever he does in Grommash Hold. Mokvar has been busy down in Ragefire Chasm. Ji’s been busy with…well, I’m not really sure what Ji’s been busy with, but I figure he must be busy, since he hasn’t raided my fridge in a while. So as long as he’s doing okay I guess that’s a good thing.

Anyhow, all the quiet time just means I have some free time to spend gaming.

 

You have logged on.

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] So its like a patch

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] YAH

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey Spazzle

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] well, kind of

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] but different

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good afternoon, Spazzle

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] hi mbc

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] How

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] BIGGER PRETTY MUCH

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey gayle

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea, much much bigger, plus the expansions are when they make all the big changes to things

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] What kinds of things

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey everyone

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] gaahh!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] new abilities for your class

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] or sometimes they revise how your class works

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] HI MR

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] so close!

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] And usually break it.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] so what’s been going on?

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Hello MrBadCrumble

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Not terribly much, really.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] MORE LEVELS TOO

[Guild][MargoLane] not really, guys, but it’s ok

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea that too bart

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] A friend of Mokvar’s just joined the guild.

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Oh no I hope they dont break mine

[Guild][MargoLane] let’s just start it up again

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] She’s running something with…well, the braintrust.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ok

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I take it everyone’s heard?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh cool

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Don’t even get me started on how badly they messed up my recipes when they introduced Lactose Intolerance.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I wouldn’t worry about that, red

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i’m starting it

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] More levels??

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] About the expansion? Yes.

You whispered to [Bartleby | Mokvar]: a friend of yours?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I think they said they were getting rid of that next expansion

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] You’re still learning your class so it probably won’t be too big of a change

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Everyone’s been talking about it off and on as the information has come out.

You whispered to [Bartleby | Mokvar]: who’s that?

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh thank the spirits.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] YAH THE NEW MAX LEVEL IS GOING TO BE 70

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] 70???

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah I’ve been streaming the coverage in the background

[Bartleby | Mokvar] whispered: Who do you think?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] THAT’S WHAT THEY SAID

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] But I havent gotten to 60 yet!

You whispered to [Bartleby | Mokvar]: lol

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] I’m surprised you didn’t go to EarthCon this year, actually, Spaz.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] don’t worry, red, you still have plenty of time

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] the expansion won’t be for months yet

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Oh okay

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] eh, well, those zep tickets aren’t cheap

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] probably longer

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] YAH IT’S NOT GOING TO BE ANY TIME SOON

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] besides, when tickets were going on sale, I was kinda busy with more important things

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] like trying to figure out if my friend was actually dead

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] They didn’t say when it’s going to be

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Right

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged on.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] “soon”

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Um, sorry

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] SOON

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] “Soon”™

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re NOT dead

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] And that’s not

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Greetings, dear Warchief.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] just, y’know… earthcon!

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Well

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Soon?

You whispered to [MargoLane]: so, I guess I know you?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] No.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] nope

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Huh. What’s soon?

[MargoLane] whispered: lol, hi spazzle

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey, boss.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] not usually

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] hi pwn

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] This game is very confusing at times

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh hey boss

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] HELLO OMGIPWNEDURFACE

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] new expansion

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Didn’t you say you had some meeting in Azshara today, Garrosh?

You whispered to [MargoLane]: keeping an eye on Mokvar here too? hehe

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WOW THATS HARD TO TYPE

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] LOL

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh shit, they announced it?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The new expansion?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] huh? what’s in azshara?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] YAH

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea, they did the announcement this morning

[MargoLane] whispered: eh, mostly just a way to pass the time

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh come now, Spazzle, you of all people should know what’s in Azshara.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] info’s been leaking out little by little all day

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Damn, I missed it

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Considering how much of it your kin have blown up.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So what’s it going to be?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey hey hey

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] okay yeah alright

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] TIME TRAVEL

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] at least we don’t make places glow green when we move in :-/

[MargoLane] whispered: plus from the way mok talks about them, it sounds like dontrag and utvoch can use as much help with their cashiering as they can get

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] “back to the future”

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] It seems like a Caverns of Time inspired story

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I suspect that several irradiated former lab sites would beg to differ.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah yeah fine

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …What?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] I THOUGHT OF THAT TOO RED

You whispered to [MargoLane]: what are you doing with them?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] i know, right?

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Do you suppose they consulted with Nozdormu about it

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So hang on, are they screwing with me or what?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] IDK

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Nope.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] but anyway, that’s why I was wondering

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Time travel

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The fuck?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I had much the same reaction at first, to be honest, Warchief.

[MargoLane] whispered: just taking them through some trade school scenarios and giving them pointers

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fucking hell…

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] so I guess the way it’s going to work

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] if you were going to azshara, maybe I know some people up there

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] is we’re going to go back in time to key moments in earth history

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] I think it’ll be pretty interesting to see some of those events we’ve been hearing about

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] not sure yet if we’re trying to change what happens

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, maybe, I wanted to keep this fairly hush hush until I saw how things were going to go

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] or, yea, if we’re doing the noz thing

You whispered to [MargoLane]: how’s it coming along?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] dammit

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WHAT DO YOU MEAN

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] LOL

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ugggghhhhh

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you know

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, it’s official

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] I just mean all the lore events that we read about in the quests

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea, what she said

[MargoLane] whispered: slowly

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] How what was going to go?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] NOZ

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] They are seriously running out of ideas

[Guild][MargoLane] ok ok come on you two

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Or in those books that you can click on to read more about the world

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you know, like

[Guild][MargoLane] another try

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] LOL HE HATES WHEN PEOPLE CALL HIM THAT

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, clandestine undertakings. How intriguing!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] the world wars

You whispered to [MargoLane]: haha, well good luck

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Ahem, Honalee…

[Guild][MargoLane] let’s try actually using the register this time

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] the french revolution

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] the fall of rome

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fucking time travel…

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Intriguing primarily, of course, because I would know nothing of such things.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] OH

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ok good idea

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] that kind of thing

[MargoLane] whispered: lol thanks

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] I MEAN SO I’VE HEARD

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] huh, that reminds me, I still need to find one more of those books for the achievement

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m meeting with a goblin engineer who might start working on improving the ol’ arsenal

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] OH WOW YOU READ THOSE

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] huh, who is it? I might know them

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] You dont

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] NO

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So is it those three events specifically, or what?

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] How’s it looking?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Good so far

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Do you mean the books or the quests

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] EITHER

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] they said there were a bunch of events we were going to interact with

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] He already has some preliminary designs that he could rework for our purposes pretty easily

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] those were just a few examples

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Are you going back to meet with him again?

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] You don’t read the quests

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Really

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] they said there were going to be others

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] LOL NO

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No, I think I’m going to get everything wrapped up while I’m here

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh, you’re still up there?

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Arent you supposed to

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What are we supposed to be doing, though?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] how are you getting online?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m connecting from Blackfuse’s place

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] NOT REALLY YOU JUST NEED TO KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR THE QUEST

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] He’s got a really sweet gaming setup here

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] that’s what I’m trying to figure out

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh nice.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] wait, blackfuse?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] they haven’t made it very clear

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Wouldn’t we have to be trying to preserve history, if it’s based on the Caverns of Time

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] well

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] He’s got this whole underground headquarters under the mountains with computer equipment like you wouldn’t believe

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] we don’t know if that’s what they’re going for, though

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] THAT WOULD BE PRETTY WEIRD OTHERWISE

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, that’s him

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] blackfuse as in HELIX blackfuse?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, that would be pretty damn lame if they try to build an expansion out of us going back in time and changing history

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Goodness, a subterranean lair within which all manner of unspeakable endeavors might secretly be pursued? What -will- they think of next.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I agree pwn but you never know

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wtf

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] You’d be surprised.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You know him?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] dammit this thing cheats

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] If we change history though wouldn’t that undo what our characters are doing now

[MargoLane] whispered: fyi, your friends are idiots

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] you’re hiring him?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Did you just nod off the last few minutes and miss the whole conversation?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] see that’s exactly what I’m trying to figure out, red

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yes, I’m hiring him

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I mean, I’m not sure what they’re going to do either way

[Guild][MargoLane] it’s okay, guys, we’ll try some more tomorrow

You whispered to [MargoLane]: you need to be more specific

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] because if we change history, how do they get around undoing everything that’s happened since

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: boss, you really really don’t want to

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok thanks

[Guild][MargoLane] read those links i gave you

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] One word of advice, boss, try not to let him talk you into a payment plan

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: for real

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] unless they set it up somehow so that changing the past doesn’t change the present

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] The interest is where they really get you.

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] And then what would even be the point

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: And I don’t want to, because…?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] right exactly

[Guild][MargoLane] meanwhile i think i’m going to log

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] All I’m gonna say about this, for the last time

[MargoLane] whispered: lol

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] but then also if we go back and have to change things

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: I know he’s probably rolling out some really impressive-looking tech, and he’s definitely crazy smart, but believe me, you don’t want to get mixed up with him

[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged on.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] well they only change because we went back, right?

[Guild][MargoLane] i need a drink

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Right

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] k bye margo

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] is FUCKING TIME TRAVEL

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] but then we get back to the present and we don’t have a reason to go back anymore

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] and thanks

[MargoLane] has logged off.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] so we don’t go back

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] and then things happen the way they did originally because we weren’t there

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Right, see, I’m still waiting on the WHY part of all this

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] and so now we DO need to go back

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WOW

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: because he’s not just crazy smart

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] …

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] and in that case, aren’t we just getting ourselves stuck in a loop?

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: he’s CRAZY

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] THIS IS GETTING REALLY DEEP

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wait wut

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] where we just keep going around over and over having to redo the same things

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Yeah, well, look, inventors are supposed to be a little eccentric

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] um

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] It is Honalee but I think it’s pretty interesting

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: The whole mad scientist type

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] just to keep time from breaking apart or whatever

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh hey that sounds familiar somehow

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] all right then. check please.

[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged off.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] do you rememeber that doc

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: You’ve got a little dose of that yourself, I’ll have you know

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh crap he logged

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] YOUR PROBABLY THINKING ABOUT THIS WAY TOO MUCH

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea I probably am

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh geez ut are you going on about that again

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well well, it appears that the wonder twins are back.

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: garrosh I’m serious

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i mean steve

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Which means it is, as the ogre would say, time for fun.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I mean I guess they can do what they want, it’s not like it’s real life

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Uh oh, here we go.

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Still it would be nice if they tried to have it make sense

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, don’t hold your breath on that from the look of this

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: I know you don’t usually listen to me about policy decisions and yeah it’s not really my area, but just this time please listen to me

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea, I guess we’ll see

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] ^_^

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] ANYHOW I NEED TO GO

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yeah gil i told you before

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Dude what’s up with you about this guy

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] it really happened like i said

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] SEE EVERYONE SOON

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Bye Honalee

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] later puff

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: What, did he wrinkle one of your damn comic books or something?

[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] has logged off.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, are you two done with your training scenarios? You completed them triumphantly and have your shiny new name badges, I trust?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh and one other feature they were talking about

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: he’s not stable

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Um, have you not seen the people I’ve got surrounding me

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] no, it didn’t go so good

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I guess at endgame you get to go back to ancient egypt and build your own pyramid

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: no no no I don’t mean like neurotic unstable

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] and gather followers there

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, I see.

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] That doesn’t sound very much like preserving the integrity of history

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh geez, just what I need

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s a shame.

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: blackfuse is brilliant but he’s honest-to-physics DANGEROUS

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yea it kind asucks

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol yea i know

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Like I don’t have a hard enough time dealing with my student minions already

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] could be interesting, though

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Now I get to deal with more?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You see, gentlemen, I was so hoping that you might earn your name tags and by so doing settle the nagging question that has vexed us lo these many months.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you know, I bet they’re going to base it on the teacher mechanic, too

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: back in kezan even gallywix knew to give him a wide berth

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] like the way you give assignments

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Ugh, don’t remind me. I’m trying to give out my daily homework now

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] wait what?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] no no, see we need to get a high score to pass, now a low one

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Having to do it all individually is a huge pain

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i don’t think that’s what she means gil

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I don’t know why they don’t just set it up so I can click on my teacher desk or something and hand out all the assignments at once

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Not to intrude on your gameplay, Warchief

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] well what do you think it is

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Dude, Gallywix gives EVERYONE a wide berth

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But I believe there’s an addon you can use for those assignments.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i don’t know

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I don’t know

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lol jinx

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Have you not seen him? Motherfucker is huge, in a not-tall way

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] something about a question

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, I know

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I mean, yea, it would be convenient if you could click on a table and do it that way

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yea but what question?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I use it, normally

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] well thats a question

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I bet that would get pretty tedious after a few weeks though

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yeah that’s A question but i don’t think it’s THE question

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I just don’t have any of my usual addons since I’m not on my own computer here

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: wait

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] whats the difference

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ah, I see.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] donty you idiot

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: you’re not on your laptop?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] one’s with a and one’s with the

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] duh

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: No

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I would imagine that would leave you feeling a bit out of sorts.

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: how are you online then?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] so um

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: I told you, I’m connecting from Blackfuse’s place

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: I’m on his computer

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, very well, gentlemen, i’ll spare you your coy maneuvering and lay my cards on the table.

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: um…

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] wait we’re playing cards?

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: so I’ve been saying…

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i thought this was EO

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: you’re logged onto…

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: frak

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] The pertinent question to which I allude is, of course, the ongoing mystery of which of you is Dontrag, and which one is Utvoch.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] okay sorry to be abrupt everybody but I really need to log off

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] wait that’s still a mystery?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] like right right now

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Later, Spaz

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] dammit ut did you lose the letter from overlord cliffwalker again

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I’ll talk to everyone later

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I hope

You have logged off.

 

So yeah, not to be rude to you folks, too, but I need to wrap this up fast. I’ve got hacking to do. Like, a lot of it. Pronto. Time is money!

And…survival!

CLICK!

 

Raid night

earthonline13

So, everything that’s been going on has kept me fairly busy, but still, what with Gurtash still being a big question mark and there not being a whole lot I can do about it, what little down time I have has still been giving me a little too much time to think. So I figure this is a good time for me to get back online to distract myself for a little while…

You have logged on.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] ok now get the pizza guy

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh dammit i blew a cooldown by mistake

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Welcome back, Warchief.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] its ok steve itll be back up before we’re at the boss

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] okay, all set

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Thanks

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] gil

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] yes, perhaps just soon enough before the boss for him to blow it again.

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] did relogging fix it?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Looks like it

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] gil!

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] which, surely, he would never do.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Get me back in group before I turn it on?

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] incoming

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wtf why am i still losing health

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you have food poisoning

[MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] has invited you to a raid group.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] from one of the taco guy mobs

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh

[Bartleby | Mokvar] has logged on.

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] there we go

You have joined a raid group.

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] oh hey, and there’s our tenth

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you need to clear your stacks

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] you can’t cure it?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, let me just see about the settings on this thing before I try doing anything else

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] i CAN

[Officer][Lorthemar] Well hello!

[Officer][Lorthemar] It seems like I haven’t seen you in ages, Bartleby.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hang on gil

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] let me know if you need any help with it

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey

[Bartleby | Mokvar] has joined the raid group.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi bart

[Guild][Lorthemar] Welcome!

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] wb mok

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Thanks

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Indeed, it’s good to see you again, Mokvar.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] but i only have so many charges of penicillin

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’ve got you

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Welcome back to the land of the living. Perhaps literally, from what I understand.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] so it would be easier if you could just watch your stacks yourself

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] crap what was that??

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Heh, yeah

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i lost like half my health!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh hey bart, wb

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey everyone

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] yea that was [Induced Vomiting]

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] it takes a bunch of health but now the poisons out of ur system

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, I’m glad that’s over with. Being dead isn’t something I would have wanted to make a regular thing of.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you know in my other guild we just let people die if they get avoidable stuff on them

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] thats harsh

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Sorry I’m late, by the way

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lol that would be funny

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh it’s not so bad at all if you know how to manage the situation to your advantage.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] that way they learn to stop doing it

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] shut up ut

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] not a big deal, we’re just re-clearing the food court

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I would have been happy to assist you in that regard, had it come to it.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] its not a big deal, no need to let him die

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lol

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i mean steve

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] steve

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, I think I’ve got this set

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Zoning back in now

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Heh, yeah, hopefully I won’t have any more reason to hold you to that.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] clearly the people in your -other- guild possess the capacity to learn.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] maybe no NEED really but it might just be fun anyway

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] What are you working on anyway, boss?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lol

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] 🙁

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has entered the raid instance {BLACK FRIDAY}

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] aww gil *hug*

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] installing LEA

[Officer][Lorthemar] He’s setting up an addon for the raid.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Ahh

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] 🙂

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ah, cool, you got raid warnings working

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] u should try to be careful tho

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, now let’s see…

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] if it’s any help, next time you see a food poisoning cloud, steer away from it and let me send one of my pets to get it

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh, yeah, those food poisoning debuffs are nasty

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i can send a vulture or maybe a raccoon

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}<<<~~RW::testing, testing

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] those helped a lot in my other guild

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] With any luck, this will help people be a little more…conscious of the goings-on in the encounter.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] At least the ones from the food court mini-boss

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] o.O

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ya but then wont they get food poisoning and die?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, there we go

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] yea no kidding bart

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[**RAID GROUP COMPOSITION**]
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Raider Name]~~~~~~[Class]
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]~~Teacher
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Bartleby | Mokvar]~~~~~~~Chef~
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[GilbertRose | Dontrag]~~~~Cashier
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]~~~Lawyer
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Lorthemar]~~~~~~~~~~Hairdresser
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[MrBadCrumble | Spazzle]~~~Firefighter
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Nightengayle | Garona]~~~~Nurse
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[ProfHubert | Faranell]~~~~~Zookeeper
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Proudleslie | Jaina]~~~~~~Paramedic
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[SteveKravitz | Utvoch]~~~~Cashier

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] better the pet than you

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Looks like it’s working okay

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] not so sure about that lol

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] shut up steve

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::here we go, raid warnings up and running

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] cool

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] I watch that guy and I’m like, man, I wish *my* food poisoning hit that hard

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] ok guys

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] no, that’s the whole point of a scavenger. they have highly resilient digestive systems.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] we’re clear here

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] no kidding, bart – i feel the same way about some of the self-heals these mobs have

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] let’s get moving to the dept. store entrance

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh okay

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, no kidding

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::HEY

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i wouldn’t want to get your pets killed

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] awww thats sweet of you worrying about the poor animals

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Makes me wish *I* could be a mini-boss

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::YOU HEARD HIM

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] yes, that is indeed touching.

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GET YOUR ASSES MOVING

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol yeah me too

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey, you know, I could get to like this thing

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] admittedly, the expression of compassion suffers somewhat from being directed toward a collection of pixels.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] what

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WHATS UUUP BITTTCCHHHEESSSS

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hoo boy

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] who’s doing that?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh dear.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol pwn has a new toy

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh yeah

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] um

[Guild][Lorthemar] That’s Omgipwnedurface.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Man, I wish I had something like this in real life

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i think maybe there was something wrong with my game

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well, there is.

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I think I might end up regretting this

[Officer][Lorthemar] You just couldn’t have done the raid warnings yourself, eh, Spazzle?

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] insofar as you’re the one playing it.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Trust me, boss, you do.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] um who else would be playing my game?

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I think he kinda wanted to do them himself…

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ut you idiot

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] might i suggest literally anyone?

[Officer][Lorthemar] Ugh, I can already tell it’s going to get old quickly.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] okay

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i mean steve

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, people

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] i think we’re set

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We had a little trouble with this encounter last time, so I’m going to run through this real quick

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Now now, Regent-Lord, let is focus on the task at hand.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] i know the encounter so I’m going to afk real quick

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We start the encounter split in two groups

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh ok is gayle’s gonna afk imma make a quick bio

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And reserve petty infighting for its own time and place.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] HOLD IT

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::HOLD IT RIGHT THERE

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::NO FUCKING AFK’S

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::IF YOU HAVE TO GO, FUCKING HOLD IT

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::TILL LATER

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] shoulda kept a cup by you’re desk steve

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WE ARE NOT

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::REPEAT NOT

[Officer][Lorthemar] -sigh-

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] eww gross

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] lol

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::CAPITAL N CAPITAL O CAPITAL T

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GOING TO GET STARTED WITH THAT PANDAREN WATER TORTURE

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WHERE WE SPEND THE NIGHT BLEEDING TO DEATH

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::FROM THE SLOW DRIBBLE OF A THOUSAND CHAIN AFKS

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I must say, Warchief, this is an occasion when I can appreciate your more authoritarian approach.

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GODDAMMIT

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok ok sorry

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok back

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I know, right?

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] so are we doing a break now or not?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i thought we weren’t

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Putting out some food

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::AS I WAS SAYING

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Come buff up while we get set.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Steve and Gilbert are going to take the registers and handle the waves of shoppers

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ty bart

[Guild][Lorthemar] Thank you, Bartleby.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Healers will stay in the middle so they can keep an eye on both groups

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The rest of us will be clearing inventory in the stock room

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] bartleby, you should try to stay near the healers too

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] try to send some extra buffs to whichever group needs it

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You guys on the registers need to check out the shoppers as they come in

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You need to keep up with the pace they’re coming in, but not go too fast

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] If you check out too many too fast, the next waves spawn faster and eventually we’re going to get overrun

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If they end up spawning too many, I can go over and pick some up as well.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] you guys at the registers

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So you want to check them out slowly

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And by slowly I mean FUCKING SLOW

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Not an ideal solution, but I can do what I can, then use my [Restraining Order] to drop aggro.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] try to use as many credit charges as you can

[Officer][Lorthemar] Good idea.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] payments over time help balance out the pacing a lot

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ok got it

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] I’ll admit, having those two doing a key job doesn’t exactly make me bubble over with confidence.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Once we fill out the sales quota for phase 1, that’ll spawn the boss

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] i know

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] There’s no aggro reset so you need to get the fuck out of the way once Bridezilla spawns

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] and the bridesmaid adds

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] True, but they’d be in no less of a position to derail the attempt in the stock room.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] and let BadCrumble pick them up

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Don’t get close to the fitting rooms

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, true.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Burn down the two bridesmaids LDG marks, then everyone on the boss

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If we can handle the phase transition well, we should be fine.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s been out biggest difficulty.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] manage trash waves, burn boss, profit

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] got it!

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Everybody good then?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yes sir

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] looks like it

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] go go go!

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay then

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Here we go

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[Encounter Initiated:BRIDEZILLA]]

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Everyone to your places

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I have the left side of the stock room covered.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok I have everyone in range

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I’m good on the right side

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Wave 1]]

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’ve got the whole inventory group covered

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] incoming

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] except lor

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok gil can you try not to get too far from the register

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] your getting out of range

[Guild][Lorthemar] I need to be this close to be in melee range.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ok

[Guild][Lorthemar] I’ll back up to get in range if I start getting hit.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, so far so good

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] A little extra focus on this side, Professor?

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] stock room clearing out fine so far

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] keep it going

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We can probably afford to clear the shoppers a little faster

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] could you use a hyena or an ocelot?

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] yeah

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ocelot, please.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] gil you need to stay in range

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Wave 2]]

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] on it.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok thats better

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] we’re good over here

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good, they’re evening out now.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Heals going okay?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] if gil can keep in range yea

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i can reach him gayle

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] I’ll put out some carrots

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Shoppers?

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] [Sharp Eyesight] for your range.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] actually

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] we’re getting behind

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Which wave are we on?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] 2

[Guild][Lorthemar] Two

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] should i send a pet out to help?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] 2

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Pick it up, guys

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s not good.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I didn’t mean THAT slow

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Wave 3]]

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We should be on

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] well there we go.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] did we clear wave 2?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] no

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What are you guys doing up there?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ugh

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] trying sir

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You guys need to get more payments over time rolling on all of them

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] bart can you buff them up

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] What do we need, coffee for haste or spinach for might?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Both, if you can.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Okay, but I’ll have to blow my [Smorgasbord]

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] do it

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] More PoTs

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] having it later won’t matter if we don’t get there

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] More PoTs

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Done

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That should help.

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Channeling {Customer Dissatisfaction}]]

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, braintrust, now you should

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] INTERRUPT THAT

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] oh fuck

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugh

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] too late

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh crap

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We have a manager incoming

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] on my way

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Where at?

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] can you cover this here lor

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Querulous Manager Spawned]

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] register 4

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] ok

[Guild][Lorthemar] I’ll do the best I can.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] ugh

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::BadCrumble to register 4

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::ProfHubert to register 4

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::SteveKravitz to register 4

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] picking him up

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] ok

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::Bartleby to register 4

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::whatever the fuck you do

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] no guys

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::DON’T STAND CLOSE TO OTHER PEOPLE

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] crap

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] spread

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] spread

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Querulous Manager Casting {Frightful Admonition}]]

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Crap

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] damn i’m feared

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Can someone clear him?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] he’s out of range

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] shoppers loose

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m coming out

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] grabbing them up the best I can

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh dear

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] crap

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] He got feared into the dressing room…

[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh dammit.

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Frantic Bridesmaids Spawning]]

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugghhhhh

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] WE’VE GOT BRIDESMAIDS

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] got some on me

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] summoning my honey badger.

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::MANY BRIDESMAIDS

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] dammit i’m down

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] putting it on some of the bridesmaids.

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::HANDLE IT

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We can’t be shorthanded now

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] getting him up

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] you sure prof?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] CLEAR

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[Proudleslie | Jaina] Casts: {Defibrillator} on [GilbertRose | Dontrag]

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Not the first time she’s said that, am I right?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] they hit pretty hard

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] watch

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] whew ok

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] maybe not the time, chief

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh wow yea

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] honey badger doesnt give a fuck

[Officer][Lorthemar] -snicker-

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] More heals on MBC

[Guild][Lorthemar] We’ve got bridesmaids back in the storeroom now

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::FUUUCCCCKKKKK

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lot of adds loose still

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] trying

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Kind of hard for him to get them all when jackasses spawn too many

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] we’ve got a lot of damage coming in

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] bah, I’m dead.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] yet again.

[Guild][Lorthemar] I’m down, too.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I’ve got a bad feeling about this

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ugh i’m dead

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] second time

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] amatuer.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] focus the manager, maybe if we can get him out of the way

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::everyone on manager

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::NO AOE, FOCUS FIRE

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] well so much for that

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] i’m down

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] aaaaaand i have some friends

[Bob] has logged on.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] my defib’s on cooldown =(

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It doesn’t much matter at this point.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] dead

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] UGGGHH

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] just wipe it

[Guild][Lorthemar] Yeah.

[Officer][Lorthemar] I knew it was going to be trouble relying on them for that job…

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] yeah

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OK

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] SO

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] problem is they’re way more suited for shoppers than anything else

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::SO

[Officer][Lorthemar] I know…

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[Encounter Ended:BRIDEZILLA (100%)]]

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WHAT

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::THE FUCK

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WAS THAT SHIT

[Guild][Bob] ’ey, you get ’em, mon? link da loot!

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I can revive. Don’t release.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I MEAN SERIOUSLY

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] no bobby =(

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] HOW WAS THAT EVEN REMOTELY FUCKING POSSIBLE

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i know, that was rough

[Guild][Bob] ahhh dat sucks, mon

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] you know, the worst part is it was actually going pretty well there

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] what happened

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] until it started coming apart

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[[[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Casting {Death and Taxes}]]

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hang on

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hang on

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] why yes, everything was going just swimmingly until suddenly everyone was dead.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You two

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Gil and Steve

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Ugh dammit Gil get over here so you don’t accidentally start the encounter again

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no i’m steve

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I DON’T FUCKING CARE WHICH ONE YOU ARE

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We may need to come up with a creative way around this phase.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Look, you two

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We put you

[Officer][Lorthemar] Hopefully “creative” in a non-hacking, non-exploit sort of way, yes?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] on fucking CASHIER duty

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] right

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yes sir

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, Regent-Lord, you’re so charmingly boy scoutish.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So hang on

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But fine.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Look at this.

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[**RAID GROUP COMPOSITION**]
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Raider Name]~~~~~~[Class]
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]~~Teacher
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Bartleby | Mokvar]~~~~~~~Chef~
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[GilbertRose | Dontrag]~~~~Cashier
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]~~~Lawyer
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Lorthemar]~~~~~~~~~~Hairdresser
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[MrBadCrumble | Spazzle]~~~Firefighter
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Nightengayle | Garona]~~~~Nurse
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[ProfHubert | Faranell]~~~~~Zookeeper
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Proudleslie | Jaina]~~~~~~Paramedic
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[SteveKravitz | Utvoch]~~~~Cashier

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] um ok

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] YOU HAD ONE FUCKING JOB

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] IT’S THE ENTIRE REASON YOUR FUCKING CLASS EVEN EXISTS

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] HOW

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] HOW

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] also, FUCKING HOW????

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I have a thought. What about this.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] how what sir?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] ljksdhfglishpg9tj78w945e3fyhvwol384t6y7holsighd

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] It would have to be an improvement over what we’re doing, really…

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] sorry sir

[Guild][Lorthemar] I really just don’t understand.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We’re not managing the shoppers in the first phase well enough.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Granted, I wasn’t out there.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] So let’s bypass them.

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] how?

[Guild][Lorthemar] But how could you have gotten that far behind on shoppers?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Let’s zerg phase one.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] um i dont know

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What’s “zerg”?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Were you even using any of your abilities at all?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i think so

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Nothing, really.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I just made up the word. I just thought it sounded good.

[Guild][Lorthemar] You…think so?

[Guild][Lorthemar] …

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well what does it mean?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It means we all swarm the adds in the first phase.

[Guild][Lorthemar] How do you not know if you were even USING your abilities?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] All in a big, overpowering mass.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] try not to get upset lor

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i dont know

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Rather like felhounds, come to think of it.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i’m clicking on buttons and stuff

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Well the thing is, though, the faster we take the first adds, the faster more will spawn.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Do you know what they DO?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] i have a cashier alt in my other guild

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] If we try to power through them, we’ll be swimming in them.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] maybe i can try to explain this to you guys?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] how do you know?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] True.

[Guild][Lorthemar] How do…

[Guild][Lorthemar] …

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But we’re swimming in them anyway.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh wow that would be really nice gayle

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok i can try

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] This way, at least, we can all be focused on powering through the checkouts.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Blazes…

[Guild][Lorthemar] They should not be at the raiding stage and still need someone to explain what their abilities do!

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And once we spawn the boss, we won’t have any more shoppers spawning.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lor dont get so upset

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lor I agree but we are where we are

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] It’s actually not a bad idea.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] It’s risky, but yeah, if it works…

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] would you prefer no one help them and they keep making mistakes?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hey, why are all the officers so quiet?

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Maybe if we blow all our cooldowns and buffs right off the top.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] My thinking exactly.

[Guild][Lorthemar] I would prefer to have guildmates who knew what they were doing!

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Spazz, what do you think? Number crunch real quick?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] hey look lorthemar

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] uhh yea…

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] they’re talking in officer chat.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] we’re doing the best we can okay

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] about what?

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I’m coming up with a 32.33% chance of survival

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] repeating

[Guild][Lorthemar] Actually not okay, but still.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Of course

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] and its pretty lousy for you to be getting all nasty about it

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] like considering

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] probably about how much you fail.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well, that’s a lot better than we’re doing right now

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh 🙁

[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh? Considering?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i mean come on man, you only just joined the guild

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Agreed, Warchief.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ya wasnt it just a couple weeks ago?

[Guild][Lorthemar] …

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] we hardly even know you and you’re gonna be talking crap about people?

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well i can’t see any way at all that this won’t end well.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay

[Guild][Lorthemar] ………

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] actually i think he joined like a month or so after i did

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’ll spell it out to these clowns

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] but ya man who are you to be coming down on everyone

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::Okay, listen up

[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh SCREW THIS

[Guild][Lorthemar] I’m

[Guild][Lorthemar] LOR’THEMAAAAARRRRRR

[Guild][Lorthemar] THERONNNNNNNN

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[Encounter Initiated:BRIDEZILLA]]

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] whats going on

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] oh crap

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] He started the encounter!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] dammit lor’themar

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Wave 1]]

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] omg

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GO GO GO GO GO

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ugh this repair bill is gonna suck

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GET IN THERE

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] ugh

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] picking up as much as I can

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Frantic Bridesmaids Spawning]]

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] and the wheel turns again.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] dammit lor’themar!

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] well damn that was fast

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Well, now we know I can tank really well

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] just extremely briefly.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh fucking hell

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] -sigh-

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugh my defib is still down

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Regent-Lord…

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I don’t think it’s really going to matter, leslie

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] down.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] me too

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[Encounter Ended:BRIDEZILLA (100%)]]

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Dammit Lori

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you idiot, lor’themar

[Guild][Lorthemar] At least I have roasted quail.

[Lorthemar] has logged off.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Ugh

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I am not looking forward to the email that will surely be coming this afternoon.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay people

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] This clearly isn’t going to work tonight

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Let’s call it a night and try to start fresh next week

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ok pwn

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea probably just as well

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m gonna log. Maybe Ben-Lin’s got some free time

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] sorry sir, i’ll try to do better

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Of course, sir.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’ll try to help puffy finish leveling too

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] later, chief

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] maybe he can help a little

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well, we know he’s magical.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] You know, if we need someone to swap in next time, I might know someone.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] right?

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] does that include miracles?

You have logged off.

Yeah, so. I’ll write more later, after go find Ben-Lin. And beer. Lots of beer. Not necessarily in that order.

More soon.

 

Contrary to what you surely believe…

notdead

…I live! Well, I live, as in me, Averry. Garrosh…kinda lives? Only he doesn’t? Except…he still does, here? Until he doesn’t. It’s…it’s complicated. You get the idea.

POINT BEING. I’m still here! While I hadn’t intended to go quiet for so long, it was partly by design that the blog went on an unofficial break during the holidays. My plan was to take a little time off from posting and to use some of that down time to get material prepared for when I was ready to start up again. My hope was that doing so would benefit everyone involved: for readers, fewer long gaps between posts, since updates would be at least partially prepared in advance; and for me, a bit of relief from the constant self-imposed pressure to keep the production line going as quickly as (or maybe even more quickly that) I can. As much as I enjoy writing and drawing the blog, it felt at times last year like I was putting down railroad tracks while the train is coming up behind me — as soon as I would finish a post, as soon as it would go up on the site, my thoughts would immediately go to “Okay, hurry up, get the next one done, get the next one done.” After a while, that can make an otherwise fun experience into something draining. That’s not good for me, but it’s also not good for all of you, who deserve to get the best quality of work I can manage when you come here.

So, I decided to give myself a sabbatical over the holidays, which ended up carrying on for longer than I’d intended. I’ve been keeping busy during that time, though, and have managed to get quite a bit in the pipeline to go live. I don’t want to name specific dates here and now, only because I have a couple more very specific benchmarks that I want to clear before I resume the blog’s storyline, just to make sure I don’t stumble into a new delay. But NEW STUFF is imminent (and we’re talking about a matter of days, not weeks)! So, in the interest of stirring you all up and whetting your appetites, you will soon get to look forward to…

  • Mokvar’s saga concludes!  We’ll be seeing the rest of what befell everyone’s favorite shaman-turned-warlock scribe at the hands of Kanrethad and Jubeka, then how the whole expedition to Blackrock Spire ends.
    demons  (Not without a surprise or two…)
  • Garrosh’s Earth Online guild, <Warchief>, has its first raid night! Listen in on the happenings in guild chat when the 10-man team marches into the notorious Earth Online raid, Black Friday!
  • Remember years ago during Children’s Week, when you escorted that blood elf orphan
    salandria11around the world, and eventually learned she was being adopted by Lady Liadrin? Well, Salandria is a teenager now, and is about to join the ever-expanding supporting cast. (Shayari needs a peer to hang out with, right?)
  • Not to get too far ahead of ourselves, but after dropping the ball during last April’s National Poetry Month, the Warchief has plans for this year. EPIC VERSE on the way…and, throughout the month of April, no shortage of it!
  • Naturally, interspersed through all of this will be more “30 Days” character profiles — and for our next one, you even get a say in who gets spotlighted. Take your pick of supporting characters, and make your voices heard:
  • It’s been far too long since the Warchief dipped into his reader mail, so expect a new mailbag soon — in fact, you should make a point of contributing! E-mail Garrosh at garrosh1337@gmail.com with your thoughts, questions, or general goofiness! And, to make sure the ever-popular mailbags don’t have any more long gaps, I’m committing to a schedule for them going forward: the first Monday of each month, you can look forward to a “Monday mailbag” post. But remember, the quality of Garrosh’s responses hinges on the quality of his mail — so get thinking!
  • Speaking of responding to reader inquiries… mark your calendar! To kick off the “restart” of the blog, Garrosh will be fielding your questions on many and sundry topics, live (sort of) and in person (kind of) this Sunday night (February 15) — in an “ASK GARROSH” LIVE BLOG! Starting at 8:30 PM EST, the Warchief will respond to questions submitted by you, his LOYAL READERS AND MINIONS, on the spot as they come in. You can send your inquiries through e-mail, on Twitter (@GarroshHllscrm), via Garrosh’s page at Ask.fm, or through comments on the live blog page itself. What you shouldn’t do, though, is send them in advance — once the live blog begins, I’ll be (um, I mean, Garrosh will be) responding to questions completely on the fly, sans preparation. Let’s see what I can come up with on the spot, and/or how badly I fall on my face!

I know 2014 was a rather rough and uneven year for WCB. I appreciate all of you hanging in there, and the continued support and friendship I’ve received from many of you. Granted, 2015 is off to something of a belated start, but hopefully I’m in a position to stay on top of things better than I had been. (Very likely, I’ll continue to build occasional posting breaks into the blog to let me get a jump on things again, but I’ll try to be better about letting you all know when those will be.) Garrosh’s adventures continue…and, frankly, I can’t say I’m all that disappointed that drawn-out posting is keeping him alive in the blogosphere well past his in-game expiration date. He’s a character I would never want to live with, but he’s way too fun to live in.

Be seeing you,

Averry

 

Spazzle Speaks: Family Ties

earthonline12

You have logged on.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s what I told him, but I think we may just have to humor him for the time being.

[Officer][Lorthemar] Once we finish our work on the animus golem here, we should be able to augment our resources.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] thanks!

[Officer][Lorthemar] Oh, hello, Spazzle.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You -do- seem to have been spending a lot of time on that of late.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good evening, Spazzle.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] np

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey guys

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Hey, mon.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] anyway hate to craft and run but i need to log for now

[Officer][Lorthemar] Well I suspect it’s going to yield some very useful results, once Aethas gets done with it.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: hey

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: how are you feeling?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] later leslie

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i have some magic research to go work on

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] how’s everyone doing?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Better, mon.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You’ll have to keep me posted of your progress.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I jus’ got one ting I got to do here in Pandaria, den I be ready to come back to Durotar.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] too bad prof’s not on, he could probably help you

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Start workin’ on cleanin’ up da mess dere.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol oh dont get me started with him again

[Officer][Lorthemar] Oh, speaking of which, it looks like Jaina is doing some magic research herself.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: that’s good, I’m glad you’re almost recovered

[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged on.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Something of a quiet night tonight, Spazzle.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: What about you, mon? I haven’t heard much from ya in a while.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh hey there he is

[Officer][Lorthemar] Now I just have to see…

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: eh, it’s just been kinda crazy here

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] omg i’m leaving so dont try to get him started

[Guild][Lorthemar] What kind of research, Leslie?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I bet, mon.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: i’m in the burning steppes with garrosh

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: looking for ji

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] started on what?

[Guild][Lorthemar] I’ve been working with a number of mages myself of late.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: we just landed in flame crest a little while ago

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ah, well it’s good to see him logging on, I suppose.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] leslie’s doing some kind of magic research

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ya talk to Ariok dere, mon?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] who, faranell? why’s that?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh its actually really cool lor

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m actually not entirely clear on the details, Spazzle.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] One moment.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: no, he’s not here, that’s the thing

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well that should be…adequate.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh? How so?

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: vahgruk says ji came here a couple days ago

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: i guess ariok went with him to blackrock spire to look for clues about mokvar

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Yes, Leslie, this sounds interesting indeed. What are you working on, pray tell?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok my dungeon queue just popped, probably going to be quiet for a few

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] omg prof geez

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Might be some fireworks is ya find ’em, mon. Ariok ain’t no fan o’ da Warchief.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Evidently there was some sort of calamity at the Apothecarium earlier.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: yeah, so I hear

[Officer][Lorthemar] I must admit, if it weren’t necessary for us to be discreet about who we are, I would love to lord our animus research over her.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] what kind of calamity?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Matter of fact, mon –

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ariok heard how Garrosh been treatin’ Eitrigg, he might take care of our ‘Warchief’ problems himself.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] well

[Officer][Lorthemar] You know she would burn up with jealousy if she knew what we have on our hands.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I’m not going to… I don’t even know what you’re suggesting, but I’m not going to

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m not sure; the good doctor has been rather secretive the last few days.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] not to brag but

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] we drained the power of the thunder king into a staff!

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I know ya don’ wanna hear it, mon, but da sooner we do somethin’ ’bout Garrosh, da easier it gonna be for all of us.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Though I’m not likely to complain – whatever is going on down there has prompted Bragor Bloodfist to spend much of his time in the Apothecarium as well, which means less time with him hovering around me.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh wouldn’t help Ji.

[Officer][Lorthemar] …

[Officer][Lorthemar] klsjdhfgkjshgdfskjhgfkjsdfgkjhsgfd

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ariok is.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I understand why.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] huh, okay

[Officer][Lorthemar] she

[Officer][Lorthemar] she drained the power… of…

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ariok see Ji, an’ all he know is he’s Horde, and he need help, and he gonna give it to ’im.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: hey

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh, he don’ see tings dat way.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] anyway!

[Officer][Lorthemar] 9oqwuolieyurgt;poayhgbihgbolugf

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i need to run!

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh don’t see nothin’ but power an’ vengeance, mon.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: He don’t see da Horde like Ariok, or me. Or you.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] A propos of nothing, Lor’themar, you strike me as someone who might know a thing or two about fine dining. Would you happen to know what type of wine goes best with crow?

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: well hello, person who’s never talked to me before but now takes a sudden inexplicable interest.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] see everyone soon!

[Proudleslie | Jaina] has logged off.

[SteveKravitz | Utvoch] has logged on.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: um, yeah, sorry

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Da way I see it, da Horde is family.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good evening, Dontrag.

[Officer][Lorthemar] I… just… she… HOW?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Interesting.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Da world knock us down, family pick each other back up again.

[Officer][Lorthemar] What?!

[Officer][Lorthemar] HOW?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] hey

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Three excellent questions, Regent-Lord.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh, he don’t see family.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Don’t understand it.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Never had one.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] but i’m utvoch

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, is that your alias, then?

[Officer][Lorthemar]  I think I need to go lie down.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: I just heard about the… whatever, down in the apothecarium

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lol what?

[Officer][Lorthemar]  This is not good for my rage.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: you never met lakkara, did you?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well, it’s a curious thing, Dontrag.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: is everything okay?

[Lorthemar] has logged off.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Who dat, mon?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Just now, Jaina Proudmoore logged off. And a few seconds later, you logged on.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or should I say, you logged -back- on.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yeah i logged back in, haven’t gotten to play in a couple days

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: i’ll manage.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: never mind

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh come now, Dontrag.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or whoever you really are.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: anyway, we’ve been over this before

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] that would be utvoch

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] So you would have us believe.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: what about shay? is she okay?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I ain’t gonna keep on ya, mon.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Do you really think we wouldn’t put two and two together?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] well no, two and two is pretty easy math

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And yet far greater than the calculus of your deception would presume us capable of!

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] um what?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispers: Ya a good mon, Spazzle. I know ya don’ wanna turn on someone ya tink is a friend.

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispers: i’m sure shayari is wonderful, wherever she is.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispers: Ya be loyal. Dat’s a good ting.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] How long have you been Jaina Proudmoore, Dontrag?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] dontrag’s not even here

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh no? Then to whom am I speaking? Are you -still- Jaina Proudmoore?

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: wait

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Nay, have you in fact been Jaina Proudmoore lo this entire time in the guild?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Time gonna come, though, ya gonna have ta decide how long ya gonna be loyal ta Garrosh, when he ain’t loyal ta us.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: wait

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: what???

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no i mean dontrag is over in the valley of honor visiting his nephew ug’thok

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] he should be on soon though

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: where is she??

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh come now, Dontrag, don’t insult our intelligence.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] why would i do that

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If you’re going to make up a cover story, at least keep your lies straight.

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: that’s the 5000g question, now isn’t it?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We all know Utvoch isn’t your nephew.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] what

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no no not utvoch, ug’thok

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: what happened??

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Don’t try to hide behind an obvious typographical error, Dontrag.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i’m utvoch

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or are you Ug’thok?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or perhaps Ig’thak?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or Jig’nak?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or – as the trail grows clearer – JAINA!

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: well, she was settling in well enough, and we were starting to go over a few lessons.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i’m confused

[GilbertRose | Dontrag] has logged on.

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: she seemed to be taking more of an interest in azerothian geography, but i figured she was curious about the lay of the land in her new home, so i ran through an overview for her.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, and here’s your alleged nephew.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or might it be Kalecgos? All bets are off at this point.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] um, whats going on?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] who’s kalecgos?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] WHO INDEED!

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: and evidently, she spotted a vacation destination that looked too good to pass up, because off she went.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] what the hell?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But one thing at a time!

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We were just discussing, Utvoch, how your uncle, heretofore known by his alias of “Dontrag,” has at last been exposed!

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: you can’t be serious

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] dammit ut what did you do

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i swear i just logged on

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: you let her run away?!

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] As his true identity, Jaina Proudmoore!

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] and said where you were

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wait, what about jaina?

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: i didn’t LET her do anything.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] The woman who has incurred the rightful wrath of the Horde!

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] isn’t that the lady that was in all those tabloids with thrall?

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: as the swollen purple region on my head will readily attest.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ruthlessly persecuted our citizens in Dalaran!

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Indeed! Sullied the good name of a beloved Warchief!

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ok but what about her?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Don’t act like you don’t know, Ug’thok.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If that -is- your real name.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wait, ug’thok is my nephew

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] that’s what i tried to tell her

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: incidentally, i’ll be sending garrosh the bill for the repairs to my jaw.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] No, Ug’thok is -Dontrag’s- nephew.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] right but i’m dontrag

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: it was brand new, too.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] and i’m utvoch

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: typical.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Now don’t be ridiculous, the both of you.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Why, if -you- were Utvoch, Dontrag, then that would mean that you are also Dontrag’s nephew.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: man seriously

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] no that’s ug’thok not utvoch

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And clearly you could not be his nephew.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] right because we’re not related

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: you have GOT to find her

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Because JAINA PROUDMOORE IS NO ONE’S NEPHEW!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok you know, i’ve been out of my dungeon for a while, but i’m just sitting here in awe, BQ

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: capital idea. how do you suggest i do that?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] um

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] …

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: I… I don’t know, can’t you home in on her or something?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i’m really confused

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It therefore stands to reason, Dontrag, that since you are Jaina, and as such cannot be Utvoch, it must therefore be Dontrag who is Utvoch, and therefore your nephew.

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: this isn’t some sci-fi/fantasy novel, i can’t just wave a magic wand.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] my eyes are starting to hurt

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: well i can. but you know what i mean.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] but how can he be my nephew, i’m an only child

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: dude really

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: that time I lost a BOOK garrosh loaned me, he beat me till I was green and brown

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] SEE? And the tangled web of your would-be deception comes further unraveled!

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: aren’t you always green and brown?

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: a DARKER SHADE – goblins bruise differently, ok??

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i think i need some grog

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: the point is, that was just a book – you lost his DAUGHTER, man!

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yea me to

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] are you having fun?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Perhaps you can conjure some, Jaina.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: ugh I need to go

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: you need to get on this, really

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] um

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Does it show? ^_^

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] whatever

[SteveKravitz | Utvoch] has logged off.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i guess we’ll be back later.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I need to take off – see you later

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m glad we cleared all this up.

[GilbertRose | Dontrag] has logged off.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Take care, Spazzle.

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Dark Lady, I jus’ gotta say, dat was beautiful.

You have logged off.

 

 

[Addendum! Remember, we have our next Meta Raid coming up this Saturday at 8:00 PM EDT. Just as a logistical matter, I’d appreciate it if anyone who thinks they’re likely to attend would let me know, whether it be through a comment, an e-mail, a message on Twitter, or what-have-you. Looking forward to “seeing” many of you over the weekend!]

 

Monday mailbag

mailbag

So, I know I have plenty to update you all on after last time, but before I start getting into any of that, it’s time to dip into the mail…

 

A few questions for the Warchief:

I’ve noticed that Saurfang has not shown up in the EO chat logs for quite a while. Has he been dropped from the guild or simply quit playing?

Garona seems fairly, well… Bipolar. Has anyone thought to see if Faranell has some sort of magical or alchemical cure?

Why do folks get bent out of shape when I grab a burger? Tauren aren’t cows, so it’s not canabalism.

What is your favorite spirit or brew? I’m willing to buy you and Malkorok a drink, although I suggest not drinking his.

Karlsohn, Thunder Bluff

Hey, Karlsohn, thanks for writing. I guess I’ll tackle these in order:

Yeah, you know, I was thinking of this when I logged on the other day. For those of you who might not remember, I got Saurfang to give EO a try with a refer-a-friend invite a while back, and got him into the guild. He seemed to take to the game well enough, and was flying through levels for a while there, but then he just stopped turning up. Like I said, this occurred to me the other day, so I looked up his last login – he hasn’t been online since around the time of the Theramore victory. I guess EO didn’t grow on him THAT much, or maybe he got to the point where he was going to have to start paying the monthly subscription, and, well, you know how old guys are about parting with their hard-earned coppers. And it’s not like I’ve been in contact with him much since things started heating up in Pandaria, so, y’know, your guess is as good as mine there.

Holy fucking hell, Karlsohn, that idea is frigging BRILLIANT. Why the fuck did nobody think of this before? Assuming Faranell’s got anything in that lab of his that’s not…y’know…fucking acid or something, he’s got to have SOMETHING that can even Garona out. And if he doesn’t, I’ll take the acid. You know the old saying: sprits grant me the strength to fix the things I can, the acid to liquefy the things I can’t, and the…um…some third thing I don’t really care about. Anyway.

Don’t worry about the tauren, they’re just sensitive like that. I’ve tried making the exact same point with them, but apparently cows are close enough to give them the heebie-jeebies. Personally, I think they need to learn to relax a little, because let’s face it – so far in recent memory we’ve established relations with cow people, lizard people, bear people, goat people, buffalo people, walrus people, spider people, fish people, cat people, bear people again, monkey people, and bug people. At the rate we’re going, if we make a point of not eating anything that resembles a race we know, the menu is going to get real short real fast.

I’m pretty fond of Blackrock Lager. Also, the ogre brew I tried last time I was in Outland packed a pretty good punch. (Don’t try mixing it with felweed, though.) Also, don’t worry about me drinking Malkorok’s drink. True fact: the guy is really big on those fruity weirdo drinks, like the ones that always come with those little umbrellas in them. I mean, I like some cherry grog now and again, but that’s as far as I go.

 

I’m going to be a warrior, much to Matron Battlewail’s dis disapt well, she isn’t happy. Do you have any advice for a newblood like me? I want to bring glory to the Horde, but not if I trip while charging at the training dummies! What if that happens in battle?! I don’t want to make you and the Horde unhappy!

Aka’Magosh,

Mirembe, Orgrimmar

Lok’tar, Mirembe, thanks for writing. Try not to worry about Battlewail too much. She always seems to have some kind of complaint about something. “What about the children?” my ass.

Anyway, if you’re having trouble with your warrioring, have I ever got some good news for you. There’s sort of a boot camp off the coast of the Barrens where you can go to work on your skills, above and beyond what you get from your regular trainer. Matter of fact, it used to be the only place where warriors could learn Berserker Stance, before it sold out and went all mainstream. So, next time you manage to give Battlewail the slip, head on down to Fray Island. It’ll be tough going at first, I’m not going to lie, but give it time. Orgrimmar wasn’t built in a day (especially that front gate, post-Cataclysm, because goblin contractors), and remember, there’s no shame in not being as awesome as me right off the bat. Well, okay, there’s a little shame, but not much. Point is, stick with the program, hang in there through the rough patches, and they’ll make a man out of you. Unless you’re a girl. In which case they’ll… erm… um… that is… they’ll…do something. Something good. Or whatever. SEE, POLITICAL CORRECTNESS RUINED A PERFECTLY GOOD PEP TALK THERE.

 

Ey, warchief, didja know dat wyvern got three ballsacks? Dat’s all.

Marie’juanna

<sigh>

I’ve said it before. I’ll say it again.

Felweed is a hell of a drug.

Yeah, these are my readers. Sadly.

 

Please explain Twitter. I try to explain it to some other orcs, but they think its only to tell people that you’re going to the bathroom or to post pictures of food. It got even worse when Dontrag and Utvoch got involved to explain Twitter.

Sir, seriously, why are some orcs so damn dumb? It’s embarrassing.

Ruekie (@RuekieShaman), Shaman-in-training

FOR FUCK’S SAKE, REUKIE – um, I mean, for crying out loud, Reukie (YOU HUSH NOW, BATTLEWAIL), DO NOT TELL DONTRAG AND UTVOCH ABOUT TWITTER. Are you freaking kidding me? There isn’t enough failure and jackassery on the internet already? No. Just NO. A world of no. All the no that’s ever been ’no’wn.

But anyway, fine, I’ll try to help you explain the whole Twitter thing. I’m really kind of amazed that there are people so stupid that they don’t already know what it is. So, Twitter is this… thing…on the internet. Where you go and type stuff. Like publicly. On a web site. Unless you’re doing it on an app. (Which I am in NO WAY WHATSOEVER going to try to explain to the Wonder Twins.) And so you can type things into Twitter, and other people on the internet can read it and respond and shit. It’s kind of like having a little tiny blog, read by other people with little tiny blogs, only you all have fucking nuclear ADD so you can’t stay focused on any post longer than 140 characters. Or I guess you could maybe think of it like texting, if your texts weren’t being sent to anyone in particular. So you go to send a text, and when the little texting robot asks you who to send it to, you just throw up your hands and you’re all “Fuck it, whoever, I don’t care. Everyone. Send it to everyone, ever.” That’s Twitter.

Let me stress again: D&U, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO START FUCKING AROUND WITH TWITTER. Although, it actually MIGHT be funny to get Tirion started on it, and then see how many times he runs up against the 140-character limit before his fucking head explodes.

 

Dear exalted Warchief,

As we have seen, when Ji Firepaw was first introduced to you, he (as a mark of respect for and recognition of your status) called you Emperor. You appeared to take violent offense to that, and my question is, why? You fit the definition. You are the undisputed ruler of both your own national people, and a wide-ranging (multi-continental) group of non-orc nations, who none-the-less submit to you. (Even we of the Ebon Blade, though not a nation as such, acknowledge your position. Well, most of us. Some of us. Whatever.)

–Sintra E’Drien

See, I think you’re misreading me there, Sintra. People seem to do that a lot. I swear, if people keep pointing out my “violent offense” at things, I’m going to start thinking that maybe possibly YOU GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKERS THINK I’VE GOT A FUCKING TEMPER OR SOME SHIT.

That said, I was pretty much correcting Ji simply because “Warchief” is my title, not “Emperor.” Officially. Yet. You’re right, though — I DO fit the definition. Seeing as how “Warchief” has been the title for a good long while, though, I figure I should keep rolling with it until I do something that, say, leads to a dramatic increase in Horde territory, power, and influence. Like, I don’t know, wiping out a rival power or three and annexing their lands. Now, see, THEN you could make a pretty good case that the Horde had achieved honest-to-fuck imperial status. And at THAT point, well, I can’t see there being much opposition at all to a triumphant leader declaring himself Emperor. Which DOES have a ring to it, I have to admit. Maybe I’ll even have some new processional music written up for myself and everything.

 

If you had the opportunity to meet your younger self, let’s say at 5 years old, what would you say to the young Garrosh?

What do you imagine that youngster would think of you?

Kee, Jade Forest, Pandaria

Okay, first of all, considering all the timey-whimey shit I’ve already had to deal with, don’t even JOKE about shit like that. Haven’t we dodged enough bullets with time being fucked with? Do we have to sit down and come up with MORE clusterfuckery we could stir up for ourselves? Seriously, at this point, I don’t even want to be REMINDED of the Bronze Dragonflight. If I ever see any of those fuckers again, it’ll be too soon. Or too late. That is…um… FUCKING TIME TRAVEL.

But okay, if you want to play some weird hypothetical game with this, here. If I could talk to 5-year-old me – at which point I would have JUST been recovering from the red pox, and my mom would have still been alive – I would mostly tell him to spare himself the whiny emo phase, because Grom was actually pretty awesome. Don’t take everything at face value – yeah, on the surface it looks like the old man was a real piece of work, but it turns out that he was a hero in the end, and nobody even knew. And I have to figure young-me would listen, because he’d be sharp enough to take one look at how awesome he grows up to be and figure, damn, I must know what I’m talking about.

Oh, yeah, and while I was at it, I would tell myself to lay off the draenei chicks, because man oh man, is THAT one ever going to come back to bite you in the ass.

Speaking of which…

 

Heeey, how ya doing Hellscream!

My name is Kitti Scrollwiki, Goblin Scribe for the Azeroth Inquirer, Horde Edition. There are raging hot rumors about you and my readers everywhere just want to know more!

Who is Shayari’s mother? It is rumored she is Draenei. Is this true?

How long ago did this happen?

Is the mother very pretty? What attracted you to her?

How did you meet?

How long was your romance with her?

What food would best describe her?

Did Greatmother know? How did she respond?

Where can we find her now?

Is there any chance of reconciliation with her?

Are you paying child support?

How are your current girlfriend(s) reacting to all this? For that matter….who are your current girlfriend(s)? Inquiring minds want to know!

Oh, oh, oh, oh….

IS IT TRUE YOU ARE SHAYARI’S FATHER? (I almost forgot that, silly me.) This has been the hot topic of Orgrimmar while you were gone.

(By the way, if you have any juicy details you want to share, you know, just between you and me…I won’t tell anyone. On my honor as a Goblin.)

Don’t delay in responding! The Love Is In The Air followup edition is preparing to go out and this will make the pages sizzle! Hellscream’s Torrid Love Affair! Cha-ching!

Keep it real!

Kitti Scrollwiki, Scribe, Azeroth Inquirer, Horde Edition

Yeah, so, I had to figure I was going to have to deal with some shit like this. As much as we’re trying to keep a lid on the whole Shayari deal, you had to know some rumors would start slipping out. So…same as with the letter further above, let me take these in order:

Shayari’s mother’s name was Marsiya. Yes, she was a draenei. I mean, really, have you seen Shayari? You weren’t able to piece that much together? Incisive journalistic mind you’ve got, I see.

Shayari’s seventeen years old. Why don’t you get out a pencil and paper and see if you can math out your own answer to this one.

What, you think I’d go slumming? Even back then, I didn’t have to settle. THE LADIES LOVE GARROSH.

Our eyes met from across the crowd. The moon was full and bright, its luminous glow dancing upon the surface of the water, and the air was sweet with honeysuckle. Across the lakeside pavilion, orc and draenei spun and danced in dizzying spectacle as the midsummer gala launched into its annual reverie. Distant voices, mirthful and musical, whispered unnoticed through the warm breeze, the whole of our attentions rapt upon each other’s gaze, in one of those singular moments both uncanny and sublime in which the universe seems, fleetingly, to reveal itself to the soul. IS THAT THE KIND OF SHIT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR? Fucking hell.  We both lived in broke-ass starving villages shoved off into the ass end of a planet that some fuckhead went and blew up. What the fuck do you THINK we were doing? We were both out hunting to see if we could find enough food so that, hey, maybe THIS week half a dozen people we know WON’T croak, and we ended up fighting over who had dibs on that extra-meaty-looking talbuk, and somewhere in middle of kicking each other’s asses we took a good look and realized, hey, this one’s not half bad.

Depending on how you count, two months or eight minutes. Admittedly, not my best work.

Fish, because I hear tell fish is brain food, and she obviously was smart enough to know not to ask a FUCKING STUPID-ASS QUESTION LIKE THIS ONE.

NO SHE DID NOT. And does not. And still has a fucking killer right hook, so ixnay on abbingblay, for fuck’s sake, okay?

Go to Nagrand, pick a patch of ground that looks good to you, dig about six feet down, and cross your fingers.

See above. Unless you brought a Ouija board, not likely.

Oh, I’m paying, all right. I’m paying.

No comment. Also no comment. And ESPECIALLY no comments from YOU, Garona.

And finally: No comment. Classified. Matters of internal security.

Okay. Deftly handled, if I do say so myself. Hopefully that puts an end to the Shayari inquiries.

 

Garrosh Hellscream, Warchief of the Horde,

I write to you after witnessing the disgusting perversion you show towards my people, specifically a child who may or may not be sired by you. I can see clearly that your kind are filthy mongrels even outside of battle, and will never be among the holy Naaru you pig fucking animals. Goodbye and may the Naaru char your city to dust.

Vindicator Toriix, Exodar

Or not.

So.

As the child in question might say, you mad, bro?

I mean, really, I don’t know what you’ve got going on over at the Exodar – other than, y’know, hanging out with the talking chandelier and disco dancing like a motherfucker – but woo boy, you need to relax like nobody’s business. Seriously, dude, you need to get laid or something. Believe me, it’ll help you unwind.

Speaking of which, I’m not going to dignify perversion-this and mongrels-that with a response, but I do have to correct you on point of fact: not pig-fucking. Goat. Goat.

P.S. Your mom says hi.

TOODLES.

 

That does it for this week, but as always, keep those letters coming. E-mail me at garrosh1337@gmail.com or use the handy-dandy form below.

More soon.

 

 

Birth announcement

earthonline11

Faranell’s gotten things lined up for Shayari’s move to the Undercity. She won’t be leaving for a couple days still, but everything should be in order. That also leaves me some time to get down there to see how she’s doing before she heads out of town. I haven’t gotten much of a chance to go see her yet – yeah, yeah, I know, even after Liadrin made such a stink over it – what with everything else I need to take care of around here. I’m not going to be in Orgrimmar much longer than Shayari, only in my case, when I leave I need to know everything is set to run smoothly while I’m in Pandaria, and in order to make sure that happens…well, come on. You’ve seen the pinhead minions I’m surrounded with, mostly. Hell, even Malkorok has been in lousy spirits (yes, even by Malkorok standards) ever since he got back from helping the doc with Shay’s arrangements the other day.

Anyhow, point being, there’s been a shitload of stuff going on. We’ve got some major construction projects in the works, which means we’re going to need tons of resources. Lumber, fuel, the whole nine yards. We even need to up the food supplies just to feed all the extra workers we’re bringing in. In order to keep up with the demands, I’m reassigning some Kor’kron to the Barrens to work on gathering resources. On the plus side, all the manpower we need pretty much means there’s no such thing as unemployment in Orgrimmar anymore. (That should look pretty damn nice on my record when I run for reelection. OH WAIT, THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS, I’M APPOINTED FOR LIFE. Suck THAT, would-be rivals from within my own party.)

Needless to say, all this has kept me pretty busy with meetings and planning sessions and OH DID I MENTION THE FUCKING PAPERWORK? And this time around I can’t even shuffle it off on Eitrigg, since he’s being all pissy about being quasi-sorta-kinda-demoted. Things have been so packed, schedule-wise, that I’ve barely had a chance to catch any down time…but, seeing as this is the first time in months that I’ve actually had a stable internet connection…

 

You have logged on.

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] but if you get a buff from eating, why don’t you a bigger buff if you eat more?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well well, look who we have here!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] because they want you to go do things in the game, not sit around eating all day

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] A good day to you, daddy dearest.

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] well that’s just crazy talk

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Hello Omgipwnedurface

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] HI PWN

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] hi omgipwnedurface

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey boss

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So I’m guessing you’ve talked to Faranell

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] wait, what?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] GOOD TO SEE YOU ON

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: hello, garrosh, i was wondering if i could have a word with you

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I swear I didn’t say anything to her, boss

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: Oh this should be good

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah hi

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] He emailed me earlier, yes sir.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh yeah, I know YOU’RE all about keeping secrets, Half-Pint

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Faranell, that is. Not Spazzle.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] NOT ME

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] By way of making arrangements for the arrival of…what was her name again?

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: hey, did you get my email?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] I HOPE YOUR CONNECTION IS BETTER

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Shayari

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: Yeah, I did

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: well i’ve been thinking about the mokvar situation – it seems like his problems all go back to blackrock mountain, so i was thinking maybe if did some looking around there we might be able to come up with some new leads

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: I think I get why you did what you did, not that it still doesn’t irritate the fuck out of me

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] no really, whats with the daddy dearest thing?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ah yes, Shayari. Lovely name. Does it mean anything?

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: well, I think that was everything mokvar told me about his past as a mercenary and the attacks on him

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, I’m back home on my normal connection

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, you haven’t heard, Gayle?

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: It better be. I’ve had more than enough of everybody running around with secrets

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: i was talking to eitrigg a few days ago and he mentioned his son lives near there, and knows blackrock mountain well, so he might be able to help investigate

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] OH COOL

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh fucking hell

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: me too

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well apparently it means “I think I’ll go blab” in banshee-talk

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Our esteemed guild leader is a father.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: Okay, so tl;dr, you’re still picking at the damn Mokvar thing, and what a shock, now Eitrigg is encouraging you in continuing to be a pain in the ass

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] …

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Here we go

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: Now listen to me because I’m only going to say this once

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh boy…

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] …

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Congratulations Omgipwnedurface

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] YAH GRATS

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Thats wonderful news

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: I don’t give a shit what Mokvar had gotten himself into. By the time he got shown the door, he’d burned about fifteen bridges, and I’m past the point of caring why. He’s dead. And if he’s not dead, he might as well be, because he’s dead to ME

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] WHAT???

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: So whatever hairbrained scheme you’ve got in mind, drop it. Let it GO. THE END

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You really had to, huh?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] ^_^

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] he’s

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] WHAT

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] A bouncing baby girl, if I’m told correctly.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] … … … …

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I mean…seriously?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well, to be fair, Warchief…

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: if you say so, sir

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] THATS AWESOME PWN

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok so obviously I must have been staring at an old god or something

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Dontrag and Utvoch haven’t logged on in weeks. Jaina hasn’t been on as much lately.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] because I MUST have gone insane and thought I just read that

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I need to amuse myself -somehow-.

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Mrs Pwnurface must be so excited

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, I know, Gayle; at first I thought the news was too good to be true as well!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh yes

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yes PWN, let’s HEAR about mrs pwnurface

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] For fuck’s sake

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] HOW ABOUT HER PWN

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You know what

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Again, out of fairness, Warchief, I’m not even lying.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] She’s DEAD, actually, if you must know

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] When Faranell told me, my first thought honestly was, “Oh, this is too good.”

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] OH YIKES

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, so listen, after this, could you PLEASE zip it about the kid?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you’re spiritsdamned right she’s dead

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I was planning to try to keep this hush-hush for now

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh course, dear Warchief.

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] I’m so sorry Omgipnedurface

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Was it in childbirth

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Henceforth I will keep your secret locked away in the securest of figurative underground vaults as if it were a recalcitrant death knight.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No, it was later

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] She got sick from a plague, basically

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] A plague? Oh dear, it wasn’t one of ours, was it?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] OH

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Oh dear

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That is, rather…it -wasn’t- one of ours, certainly.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Since obviously we have long since stopped making plague.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WAIT HOW LONG AGO COULD THIS BE IF YOU’RE A NEW DAD

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] What plague, actually? Did someone mention plague?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That sounds ghastly to me.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] YES

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay look

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] EXACTLY HOW LONG AGO

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ick, plague, I say. Blech!

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] How are -you- today, Spazzle?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m going to go over this once and then have done with it, okay?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And YOU STFU ALREADY GAYLE

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey, don’t try to drag me into this

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I’m in enough trouble already

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh oh I’m all ears

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] you’re on your own!

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, drat.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] NOT UNLESS “EAR” IS THE NEW WORD FOR “MOUTH” AND I MISSED THE FUCKING MEMO OR SOMETHING

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] FINE

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: I mean SERIOUSLY, WTF??

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So yeah, I’ve got a daughter

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] She’s not a newborn, she’s in her teens now, I just… let’s just say I just gained custody and leave it at that

You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: Oh will you knock it the fuck OFF

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Custody, and awareness.

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: and the surprise daughter is a TEENAGER already too?!

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Have you not said enough already today?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, never. ^_^ But do continue.

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Oh congratulations

[Officer][LivinDeadGirl | Sylvanas] Re-sealing the vault! ^_^

You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: Yeah, she is, and hey, check it out, she even got to be a teenager in real time, unlike some other people I could mention

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So yeah, she’s just in town for a little while now

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] That’s the long and the short of it, and if you don’t mind I’d rather not have to answer like a zillion questions about her

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: …

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: how is this the first I’m hearing about this??

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] YAH I CAN SEE HOW YOU’D WANT TO KEEP YOUR PRIVACY

You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: Hey, listen, I didn’t even know about her until last week

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] If you don’t mind me asking one question though Omgiownedurface

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: oh aren’t you a prince

You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: when Liadrin came breezing into town with a little bundle of WTF in tow

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Why is she only in town a little while

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, fine

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: wait a minute

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: liadrin???

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] And I promise I won’t pry any further

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] That much is simple, she’s going away to school, pretty much

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: THAT stick figure? are you KIDDING me??

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Oh

You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: NOT LIKE THAT FOR FUCK’S SAKE

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Well I’m sure youll miss her

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, I’m sure

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] But its important sometimes to give your children that push off the ledge and hope they fly

You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: Liadrin found her in Silvermoon after she got kicked out of Dalaran for being half orcish

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] You cant protect them from everything however much you might want to

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] UM RED

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: wait, HALF orcish? what’s the other half then? because I swear if you slept with a human I think I’ll scream

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Sometimes theyre going to get hurt

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Or captured

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Or mutated into monstrosities

You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: YOU FUCKING FUCKED MEDIVH, who the fuck are you to criticize?!

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] RED

[EdwardBear | Ji] has logged off.

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] And then you have to authorize their extermination for the greater good

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: I was young and into older men!

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] But thats parenting for you

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] RED CHECK YOUR WHISPERS

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: um, boss?

You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: Well I was young and into draenei girls!

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] What were we talking about again

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Oh okay

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: …

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: !!!

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: What?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Incidentally, Honalee, is everything all right with Leslie?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I don’t mean to pry, but I’m not accustomed to seeing you online without her.

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: ok I need to log off for a few

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: I need to go stab something

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] YA SHE’S JUST BUSY WITH WORK THIS WEEK

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh? Anything in particular?

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: WE WILL CONTINUE THIS LATER

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] NOT REALLY, JUST THE SAME STUFF SHE’S BEEN DOING THE LAST FEW WEEKS NOW

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: so… I’m afraid our furry companion has gone and done something rash

[Nightengayle | Garona] has logged off.

That player is not online.

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: Oh no, what did Fat Boy Slim do now?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I like to think I’ve been able to provide her with something of a supportive ear from time to time. I’m more than happy to do the same for you, if you’d ever care to have a sounding board.

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: well… I think he may be about to skip town to head to blackrock mountain

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: Fucking hell

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Sometimes it can be helpful to air your thoughts with someone impartial.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I need to log. Some things just came up here that I have to check on

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You know, concerns for your significant other, anxieties, random specific details about her exact undertakings these days, including but not limited to key initiatives, dates, and locations.

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: I’m coming over, you can fill in the rest then

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]   know, I know, it’s cliche. But still.

You have logged off.

 

 

30 Days of Character Development #3: D&U

[Each week, a post will profile one of the blog’s many supporting players. (See the first profile for more details.)  Since I didn’t get around to posting a profile last week, this time around I’m making up for it with a double of sorts. Feel free to chime in with recommendations for other characters you’d like to see more about!]

 

d-and-u_profileNamesDontrag and Utvoch

Occupation: Horde infantry soldiers (ranks: Dontrag—Sergeant; Utvoch—Scout)

AgeDontrag—31; Utvoch—29

Race: Orc

Class: Warrior

Group affiliations: Horde (members), Overlord Krom’gar’s army (former members)

Known relativesDontrag—Adrasa (sister), Ug’thok (nephew); Utvoch—Krila (aunt)

Earth Online notes: D&U play EO with mains GilbertRose (Dontrag) and SteveKravitz (Utvoch), and are members of Garrosh’s guild <Warchief>. Utvoch briefly changed his character’s name to “Dranosh,” but was roundly criticized for the name choice, because really. He reversed the name change shortly thereafter. Also, guildmate Sylvanas Windrunner appears to take particular amusement in baiting the duo into arguments about which of them is which.

First appearance: “Visiting Zoram’gar” (first mention), “Underneath the bunker” (first full transcript appearance)

Key posts and plot points:

  • An unsuspecting Garrosh first encountered Dontrag and Utvoch at Silverwind Refuge in “Visiting Zoram’gar” and dispatched them to join Overlord Krom’gar’s forces in Stonetalon. He would later encounter them during his investigation of Krom’gar’s operations in “Underneath the bunker” – featuring D&U in supporting roles in Mokvar’s first transcript.
    (D&U can be found in-game both at Silverwind Refuge and in the Deep Reaches beneath Krom’gar’s fortress. In the latter instance, they’re joined by goblin questgiver Blastgineer Igore; blog readers may take a certain amusement in Igore’s quest-text commentary on our cerebrally challenged friends.)
  • After Krom’gar’s “dismissal,” D&U remained stationed in Stonetalon, under the command of newly appointed Overlord Cliffwalker. They were frequently recalled to Orgrimmar and other locations for various missions, but remained officially assigned to Cliffwalker in Stonetalon prior to their dispatch to Pandaria.
  • Evidently, according to a letter from D&U in one mailbag, Utvoch has (or had) enrolled in some extension courses, including diplomatic writing. Academic records from the undertaking have not been released. At one point, Utvoch convinced Dontrag to take a class with him, but the pair failed the course when they were caught handing in the same paper. To the same instructor. Yes, really.
  • Utvoch – sans Dontrag – traveled to old Hillsbrad, ten years in the past, with Garrosh, Mokvar, Liadrin, and Faranell during the Anti-Plague of Southshore storyline. Like the other members of the group, Utvoch later found himself trapped between two fluctuating timelines; Garrosh and Mokvar noted, with no small degree of amusement, that this situation likely led to many confusing discussions between Utvoch and Dontrag.
  • Utvoch met and befriended Taktani in Mulgore just before she started writing in to Garrosh’s mailbag; Dontrag would meet her as well not long after. Since Taktani’s arrival in Pandaria, Garrosh has charged D&U with keeping an eye on Tak and generally helping her navigate the complexities of the adult world, a job that Utvoch appears to have taken to somewhat more enthusiastically than Dontrag has.
  • Many people, Garrosh prime among them, frequently lose track of who is Dontrag and who is Utvoch – which is actually rather peculiar, given that they don’t really look very much alike. Sylvanas, in guild chat, seems to understand which of them is which, but deliberately baits them into arguments on the subject anyway.
  • Regular readers will be well aware of Garrosh’s habit of giving people (often dismissive) nicknames. Dontrag and Utvoch are among his most frequent targets; some of his favorites for them include the Dumbass Duo, Ketchup and Mustard, and the Wonder Twins.

In their own words:

dontragutvochDescribe your relationship with your mother or your father or both. Was it good? Bad? Were you spoiled rotten, ignored? Do you still get along now, or no?

I didn’t know my father. I think he was killed in the attack on Shattrath. I got along pretty well with my mother, though. She always used to tell me how I could be anything I wanted to be and accomplish anything I set my mind to. Then I started working with the trainers and she had her first parent conference. After that she mostly saved the thing about being whatever you want for my sister. –Dontrag

I don’t really remember my parents. They both died in the first war after the Dark Portal opened. My aunt ended up raising me until I was old enough to fend for myself. –Utvoch

How vain are you? Do you find yourself attractive?

I guess I was a little vain for a while, during that year in the Barrens when I was trying to get away with the comb-over. I started losing my hair early and it took a while for me to accept that I wasn’t fooling anyone. –Dontrag

I don’t think I’m bad looking or anything, but I don’t really think I’m anything special. Luckily I spend most of my time hanging out with this guy, so I figure I must end up looking like at least a 7. –Utvoch

What are your most prominent physical features?

My thick, full head of hair. –Utvoch

Screw you, Ut. –Dontrag

Name one scar you have, and tell us where it came from. If you don’t have any, is there a reason?

Well, I’ve got this one scar on my forehead, on the right side. I was trying to explain which of us was which that time in Karazhan, and, um…well, the Warchief kind of got impatient and backhanded me. –Dontrag

du_profile2I’ve got one across my left cheek. It’s just above the line of my beard, so I don’t think you would really notice it unless you were looking for it. I got it when I got those people killed by that yeti in Hillsbrad because I accidentally went out of my way to kill a giant moth, and the Warchief got really mad and belted me. Although the worst part was how he yelled. He got that tone that he gets. –Utvoch

Oh, yeah, I’ve got one on my face, too, right under my left eye, from that time the Warchief— Wait a minute, when you said to name them, did you mean you wanted us to name them name them? In that case, I think I’ll call the one under my eye Al. –Dontrag

I think I’ll name mine Dranosh. It means “Heart of Draenor” in orcish. –Utvoch

Everybody knows that, you idiot. And it’s still not cool to use that name. Anyway, for the one on my forehead, maybe I’ll name that one The Reminder. –Dontrag

I don’t get it. But I love the idea of a name that’s “The” something. I have to remember that if I ever have kids. –Utvoch

What does your desk/workspace look like? Are you neat or messy?

Depends on which of us used it last. I try to keep our desk sort of organized back at the barracks. Donty’s a slob, though. I always end up having to pick up after him. It’s like having a second job half the time. –Utvoch

Depends on which of us used it last. It’s not so much that I’m messy, really – it’s more me being lazy. I don’t care enough to put in the extra effort to put everything in order. And I mean, I would if I had to, but I figured out a long time ago that Ut’s compulsive enough that if I just leave it alone, he’ll do it eventually himself. So, like, it’s not so much that I’m messy as I delegate well. –Dontrag

Do you have any irrational fears?

Other than the Warchief getting a little madder than usual one day and stabbing me? Fire makes me antsy. I always get nervous around fire mages. Or mages casting fireballs in general. I always get this weird creepy feeling like I’m about to get torched–Dontrag

Owls freak me out. Not even, like, giant ones, either. Although those are even freakier. Just plain old regular owls. The way they stare at you, and plus, when they go “who!”, I always feel like they’re mocking me and Donty. –Utvoch

If you could time travel, where would you go?

Probably old Hillsbrad, since I didn’t get to go last time, just to see what the big deal was. –Dontrag

Maybe back to that time we went back to old Hillsbrad, and let Donty go instead? That whole thing was really confusing, and I think the Warchief got even madder with me than usual, and plus there was that whole thing with the end of the world, which wasn’t a whole lot of fun. –Utvoch

What might your ideal romantic partner be?

I won’t lie. I’ve always had a thing for tauren women. Can’t resist them. (It’s the hooves.) –Utvoch

You are a sick, sick orc, Ut. –Dontrag

 

Cheat Sheet

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As promised in my last post, here’s an overview of the state of the blog. I realize that after two years of accumulated in-jokes and storylines, the Command Board may be a bit disorienting to a newcomer (or, for that matter, to a long-time reader who blinked at the wrong time), so I’ve tried to break this down into a semi-sorta-kinda FAQ. Most of this will be familiar to long-time readers (though I’ve also included a few behind-the-scenes notes that some of you might find interesting), but I hope it’ll explain a few things for new arrivals.

 

I hate Garrosh! Why does Garrosh seem so sympathetic in this blog? Are you one of those Garrosh apologists/fanboys?

Comically enough, I originally started the blog because I really didn’t like Garrosh either, and saw the blog as a way to have a few chuckles mocking him. It wasn’t long, though, before I decided that I would get sick of the outright-mockery approach pretty quickly, so I started branching out. Part of the result was letting blog-Garrosh become (I hope) a bit more multifaceted, while still remaining true to his temperamental self. Including the LOLs.

Ultimately, I don’t set out to justify anything Garrosh does, just to present it in a way that makes sense in light of the character, and if that pushes a black-and-white scenario into some shade of gray, well, that makes for a more interesting story anyway. And, keep in mind, the story here is being told, generally, from Garrosh’s point of view, so I don’t know how that perspective wouldn’t be sympathetic. Everyone is the hero of their own story, after all, and nobody thinks they’re a bad person.

 

Why isn’t there anything here about the siege of Orgrimmar?

What are you talking about? There was a post titled “The siege of Orgrimmar” a good solid year ago – if anything, shouldn’t you be asking why Blizzard is coming so late to the party? (By the way, I didn’t realize until just now that patch 5.4 was released almost exactly on the one-year anniversary of the “Siege or Orgrimmar” post. How awesomely freaky is that?)

Anyway, to give a real answer: Time-wise, the blog has not yet reached the events of patch 5.4. The storyline is currently playing out the midst of 5.2; Lor’themar Theron and Jaina Proudmoore have recently set up shop on the Isle of Thunder, while Vol’jin is still recovering from his injuries at Shado-Pan Monastery.

This time lag between the game and the blog, by the way, is partly by design. I’d always intended the blog to run a bit behind the game; coming into MoP, I realized that if I tried to follow in-game events too closely, I wouldn’t have time to adapt my own ideas to fit Blizzard’s story. There have already been a few instances in which Blizzard’s story has taken a turn that’s forced me to change gears in a way that would have been disastrous if I didn’t have a month or two of lead time. Of course, I’m clearly more than a month or two behind – that’s been a result of various real-life circumstances slowing down my output over the last few months. I’m working on it!

 

So the blog basically retells in-game events, from Garrosh’s point of view?

Yes and no. The blog operates within Blizzard’s continuity (with the aforementioned time delay), but also weaves additional storylines in and around the canonical Blizzard plots. Anything that happens or is stated explicitly in-game is canon, obviously, and the blog is bound by it.* That said, I sometimes like to put other stories around Blizzard’s, to give them context that might change the way those events are perceived. (This was a large part of my motivation for the Timequake story leading into Theramore, or, more recently, the blog events surrounding the Divine Bell / Domination Offensive storyline.)

Also, while the point of view is mostly Garrosh’s, there are some posts that present events from other perspectives. Most notable are the “guest” posts by Spazzle (Garrosh’s tech goblin), which help fill in story details that Garrosh wouldn’t necessarily be privy to. You can always identify a post written by someone other than Garrosh by the color of the text – Spazzle’s posts, for instance, are always written in green text, and almost always include the phrase “Spazzle Speaks” in the title. Also, as a rule of thumb, when Spazzle et al post, Garrosh remains oblivious to anything that might be revealed; the conceit at work here is that Garrosh doesn’t really care what anyone else is writing, so he doesn’t bother reading it.

* The one instance that I’ve flat-out fudged in-game details is the way I’ve chosen to incorporate the events of “A Little Patience.” From the Alliance point of view, that scenario takes place almost immediately after Varian arrives in Pandaria; in the blog, I’ve pushed those events a bit later in the story. This was largely a matter of convenience: I knew that I wanted there to be a military operation in Krasarang in which Garrosh’s trainees went missing, and I realized fairly late in the going that “A Little Patience” lent itself to that story pretty readily. Hopefully those Alliance-side readers out there will be willing to turn a blind eye to my blatant and shameless revision. (Horde bias rears its ugly head again! GRR!)

 

Garrosh has trainees? When did that happen?

Right here! As part of the escalation of the war effort, the Kor’kron started a training program to prepare orc teenagers for eventual military service. When Garrosh learned that Gurtash – an orc boy from the Orgrimmar orphanage whom Garrosh had taken under his wing – had been conscripted, Garrosh volunteered to take Gurtash’s trainee group under his own supervision. (Side note: In my head-canon, Garrosh has a bit of a soft spot for the orphans, being as he is one himself.) The trainees, who have nicknamed themselves the Dead Peons Society (DPS for short) have accompanied Garrosh to Pandaria and joined him on a few adventures. Fairly recently, they went missing after the Horde loss in the “A Little Patience” scenario, and were eventually found by Garrosh, hiding away in an underground system of caves. That’s brought us up to the point where we are now, story-wise: Garrosh and the trainees underground, looking for a way out.

 

Is the entire supporting cast from within the game?

Mostly, but not entirely. I’ve invented a few characters for the blog – Spazzle being the highest-profile – but I’ve tried to keep it limited, and tried to restrict those characters to fairly peripheral positions in the lore. The one glaring exception was the storyline involving Garrosh’s mother, Lakkara, who isn’t mentioned anywhere in the actual lore. It just struck me as odd that there’s no record of who she was, or what happened to her, and besides, in a mythology packed to capacity with father/son relationships, I thought it was about time somebody’s mom got a little screen time.

Otherwise, when a character turns up who doesn’t exist in-game, that character was often inspired by a reader and/or based on someone’s game character. For instance, both Gurtash and Mortimer (Garrosh’s personal wyvern) became blog characters thanks to mailbag letters from Khizzara from Blog of the Treant; Khizzara’s own namesake has made a few appearances as Spazzle’s cousin; doodle-prone kitty druid Taktani became a full-fledged character (and boy, is she ever a character) after making several mailbag contributions; and many of the DPS trainees are modeled on the baby orc alts of friends.

In general, though, if you see a supporting character turn up whose name you don’t recognize, the smartest first guess is that he or she is based on a questgiver or other NPC somewhere in-game. (Wowpedia is your friend!) I deliberately picked a lot of relatively minor NPCs – people like Mokvar, Elder Cloudfall, and Dontrag and Utvoch – to use as supporting characters because I figured their relatively peripheral status gave me more latitude to work with them, give them backstories, etc. After all, what are the odds that Blizzard would actually do something with one of these people to contradict my own concoctions?

(Either way, if you’re not sure who someone is, I’ve also maintained a partial list of supporting players on the About the Blog page, including some of the more pertinent information about them.)

 

Speaking of which – in the SoO raid, Mokvar is a mini-boss! Isn’t he missing? How are you going to deal with that?

First… um, yeah, that whole “no way they’re gonna do something with this guy” really blew up in my face on this one, huh?

And second… So, everyone who thought I was going to lay out this big storyline for Mokvar, and make such a production out of his disappearance…and then have it turn out that he really is dead…step forward.

Didn’t think so.

For those of you unclear on Mokvar’s whole story, which has been unfolding gradually for quite a while, you can check here for a brief overview and links to the relevant posts. Very short version: After becoming the victim of a mysterious attack, Mokvar sets out to track down a powerful relic from his warlock days, with the aid of a human named Deliana (who was Mokvar’s Alliance equivalent in the old dungeon set quests); over the course of his quest, he starts to behave increasingly strangely, culminating in his eventual flight from arrest in Orgrimmar. His whereabouts are now unknown.

Stay tuned. You’ll see where this is going!

 

With Mokvar gone, how are you handling the transcripts?

Prelinimary: The blog contains several transcripts of conversations that Garrosh has engaged in. The premise from the outset has been that Mokvar is (or was) Garrosh’s personal scribe, and records all these conversations for posting. This explains, by the way, a number of occasions when Garrosh mentions summoning Mokvar to an event, or otherwise noting Mokvar’s presence, as a way of leading in to a transcript.

Since Mokvar is off the grid, Garrosh has passed transcription duties to two people: Gurtash, who records his transcripts in the form of comics; and Taktani, a friend of Dontrag and Utvoch and long-time mailbag contributor, who’s started to (and will continue to) write a few transcripts, laden with her own unassuming brand of commentary.

 

What are these guild chat logs that keep cropping up?

Garrosh and several of the supporting characters play an MMORPG called Earth Online – the basic premise being that, to these characters, Azeroth is reality, and our real world is actually the game world of the MMO. Garrosh started his own guild, called <Warchief>, and several familiar faces (including Spazzle, Sylvanas, Lor’themar, Faranell, Garona, and Dontrag and Utvoch) are members. Also worth noting is that Jaina Proudmoore is a member of the guild…although she doesn’t realize (yet?) who her guildmates are in “real life.”

The guild chat logs recreate some of the exchanges that the members of <Warchief> have within their game, usually including regular guild chat, officer chat, and, in some cases, whispers. I make no pretense about the fact that some aspects of these logs are based on my own guild-chat expeiences, especially officer chat. The transcripts are always presented from the point of view of whoever posted them – usually Garrosh, but occasionally Spazzle.

 

Where did this whole thing about lemon squares come from?

Garrosh loves lemon squares. Don’t you?

Real explanation: Very early in the blog, Edenvale of The Gamer’s Fridge posted a recipe for Garrosh Hellscream’s lemon squares, and pointed me to her post with a comment on the Command Board. Since then, it’s become a bit of a running gag – the recipe, according to Garrosh, was his greatmother’s secret family recipe, and he was most perturbed that this random night elf had apparently gotten ahold of it.

 

What does “FYV” mean?

An abbreviation of one of Garrosh’s favorite turns of phrase, of course: “Fuck you, Varian!” Among other things, Garrosh often finds a way to slip that phrase into his EPIC VERSE compositions.

 

Speaking of which, what’s this “EPIC VERSE”? Garrosh writes poetry?

You sound surprised. Garrosh is an orc of many interests. What, do you think he’s some kind of one-note caricature or something?

Okay, fine, game-Garrosh kind of is.

Honestly, I just got a kick out of the obvious dichotomy of Garrosh Hellscream, gruffest of the gruff, also writing poetry on the side. True to form, Garrosh doesn’t view his compositions as just any poetry, so he prefers to call them EPIC VERSE. In caps. Always. It’s sprinkled throughout the blog – almost always in purple text, to stress its epic-ness – and ranges from limericks, to parodies of other famous poems, to reader requests, to epic rap battles.

 

So, that’s as much as I can think to cover. Other gaps can probably be filled in through the Major Storylines page, but if there are questions that anyone still has, in terms of getting caught up or clarified, by all means toss them into a comment and I’ll make sure it’s answered. And so, on that note, I’ll sigh off with the promise – unconditional promise! – that before the week is out, you’ll have the continuation of the actual STORY part of the story! Which left off, as you might recall, right here:

C11_Page_6

 

Spazzle Speaks: Tours of Duty

earthonline2

A little Earth Online interlude while Garrosh spins his yarn from Pandaria…

 

You have logged on.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Interesting. What kind of research, Leslie?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi baddie

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Hey mon.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] its really pretty technical

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] HI MRBADCRUMBLE

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey everyone

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] probably pretty boring if its not what you do

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: hey

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Greetings, Spazzle.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i can try to explain some of it to you if you think it would help.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh I’m sure it’s fascinating.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol prof

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I just got back from the echo isles a little while ago

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’ve got a handle on it, prof, its my job after all

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If you’d care to elaborate, of course.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Certainly no intrusion intended if you prefer not to.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] working on Jaina again?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Tanks for checkin’ up on it for me, mon.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well yes, but i would imagine understanding the nielas vector hypothesis would be part of your job, too, and we’ve already established you don’t really have a handle on that.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Everyone needs a hobby. ^_^

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] omg i do too

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: it’s fine

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] u think your right about everything

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I had some business down there anyway

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] oh hardly.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i know my nielas vectors, though.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: hey

[Lorthemar] has logged on.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] look, i supervise mages for a living, i would think i know about nielas vectors

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i would think you’d know about them, too.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] so see? i’m not always right.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugh whatever

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi lor

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: just had to be careful not to be seen by any kor’kron on the way

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Hey, Lor mon.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] I STILL WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU KNOW ALL THIS STUFF PROF

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i’ve said before, i read a lot.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Greetings, all!

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] brb

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: You run into any trouble?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] HI LOR

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good evening, Lor’themar.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: not really

[Guild][Lorthemar] And how is everyone this fine evening?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey lor’themar

[Officer][Lorthemar] Good evening.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] doing ok

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] How are you settling in on…the Isle of Thunder, is it?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] just missing my baby

[Officer][Lorthemar] Yes indeed.

[Officer][Lorthemar] Not badly at all. Setting up took some doing, but we had some good help on hand.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: there are more kor’kron in razor hill than there used to be

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] AWWW

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It’s good you were able to get your internet connection working from there.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I know our…esteemed Warchief has been having stability issues.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh? I thought you two sat next to each other while you played.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Goodness, I just reread the last thing I said, and I must say it gave me quite the chuckle. ^_^

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I think after they rebuilt the inn, they used it as an excuse to ramp up security

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] not right now

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate, I know I would be lost without my connection.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I’ve noticed you really seem to be online, like, ALL the time

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WE USUALLY DO

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’m away on business for a little while

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I don’t think I’ve logged on without you being here

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well, that’s partly because, being undead, I don’t strictly need to sleep.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh, I see

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Which frees up lots of online time.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] don’t you have work you need to do in the undercity, though?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh give ’em enough time, they be makin’ lots more places “secure.”

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] so for right now the game is a way for us to still hang out together a little

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Yes, but I just take it with me everywhere.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Some of the warlocks worked out a way to project a likeness of my computer screen onto a writing tablet I carry around – an Eye Pad of Kilrogg, they call it.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] IT MAKES ME GLAD I STARTED PLAYING THIS GAME

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: anyway, I got down there without much trouble

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] The name, I will admit, is inelegant. I may have marketing give it another pass.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] EVEN IF I’M STILL KIND OF A NOOB

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: What’s da word from Trall?

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: Ji?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] its ok, sweetie, being a newbie might be a nice change of pace for you

[Guild][Lorthemar] You know, it’s a funny coincidence, I’m doing some traveling for work as well.

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] I know how dat goes, mon.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: all clear so far

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] LOR’THEMAR

[Officer][Lorthemar] Yes?

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Dis game be a way for me ta talk ta people too.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: nobody seems to have noticed anything going on down there

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh wow small world

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] -Don’t- say any more about what you’re doing.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Improbable though it would seem, I don’t think she realizes who you really are.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: which is kind of weird, considering it’s been months since they took out the kor’kron occupation

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Been tryin’ ta not talk too much fa real what wit I got a nasty sore troat dese days, mon.

[Officer][Lorthemar] Yeah, don’t remind me. I get that a lot.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well, yes, there’s that.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i hope you feel better, bobby

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: While Garrosh still be in Pandaria, Eitrigg be da one mindin’ da store in Orgrimmar

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But you’re also wasting a potential tactical advantage if you give away too much around her.

[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] has earned the achievement [Grand Central Station]!

[EdwardBear | Ji] has earned the achievement [Grand Central Station]!

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: He be no friend a da changes Malkorok been makin’ in da Kor’kron.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: yeah

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Hey, grats, mon!

[Officer][Lorthemar] How do you mean?

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I just wish things would get back to normal again

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: or more normal at least

[Guild][Lorthemar] Congratulations, all!

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: sorry, leslie was running me and puff through an instance

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] THANKS DEAR

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] …Really?

[Officer][Lorthemar] Really what?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] my pleasure sweetie =)

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: i didn’t see your tell till just now

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Dey gonna get worse before dey get better, mon.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: yeah

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] ty leslie

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: it’s ok

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Has…nobody told you who Proudleslie is?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] yw eddie

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I haven’t…

[Officer][Lorthemar] No, who is she?

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: did you find anything out?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] OH WOW ONE MORE BUBBLE AND I’LL LEVEL TOO

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh boy

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Proudleslie is Jaina Proudmoore.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: I talked to thrall, yeah

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] next thing u know your going to be all grown up!

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] = )

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: had to be careful not to give away too much

[Officer][Lorthemar] …

[Officer][Lorthemar] She’s…she’s… WHY??

[Officer][Lorthemar] WHY would we let her be in the guild?

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: what did he say?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] then i can get you all geared up and ready for big people adventures!

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] Sylvanas convinced Garrosh to let her stay.

[Officer][Lorthemar] By convincing him we’re living in Upside Down Crazy Land??

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: the easiest place for you to reach the earthen ring is at the twilight citadel

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] I APPRECIATE ALL THE TIME YOU’VE BEEN SPENDING HELPING ME LEVEL

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: most of their heavy hitters are still over at the maelstrom, but they usually don’t let just anyone over there

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] No, Regent-Lord, by pointing out that keeping her close, without her knowing who -we- are, puts us in a position to ply her for information that might be of use to us.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] how’s that been working out for you, by the way?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] aww, anything for my baby

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: ok

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Hush now. It’s an ongoing project.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate, Lor’themar, please try to be careful what you say

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: so your best bet is to head down to the twilight highlands

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i kinda like getting to take care of you here after everything you do for me

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] MY PLEASURE, M’LADY

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: they’ve been working on setting up again there since the twilight’s hammer was driven out

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] <3

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: what’s that?

[Officer][Lorthemar] Ugh, fine.

[Officer][Lorthemar] This is not good for my rage.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] aww thats my lil puffy magic dragon =)

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: what’s what?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] = )

[Officer][Lorthemar] And of course Garrosh took the anger management counselor with him to Pandaria.

[Officer][Lorthemar] To spite me, I’ll bet you anything.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] plus did i mention you look sexy as a fireman?

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: the twilight’s hammer

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] rawr  😉

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] To be fair, keeping an anger management specialist close to Garrosh is probably a wise move.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] she’s kind of got you there

[Officer][Lorthemar] *looks in guild chat*

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji] long story

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i wish i could adequately impress upon you the sheer magnitude of the fact that you’re making *me* want to vomit.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh boo prof, havent u ever been in love before

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji] last year’s bad guys

[Officer][Lorthemar] I can’t believe this woman is beating me.

[Officer][Lorthemar] Anyway…

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: oh

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] as a matter of fact.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] what happened?

[Officer][Lorthemar] Let’s talk about something else before I get too annoyed.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] the scourge.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh =(

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] at any rate, i should log for now, i have some packing to do.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: i really don’t know if it’s going to accomplish much going to them, though

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Be seein’ ya, mon!

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] BYE PROF

[Officer][Lorthemar] Hmm, speaking of which, do you know anything about what’s going on with Faranell?

[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged off.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] sorry if i brought up bad memories prof

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: it’s worth a try

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I was going to ask you, actually.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] blah missed him

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] All I know is that he’s going to Orgrimmar at the request of your Lady Liadrin.

[Officer][Lorthemar] That’s all I know as well.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: if anyone will have any ideas about what happened to mokvar, it would be them

[Officer][Lorthemar] Liadrin told me she was requesting Faranell from you, but was rather dodgy about details.

[Officer][Lorthemar] I’d assumed she would have told you more.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: i hate to say it, but i think we might already know what happened to mokvar

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Not particularly, only that she had need of his alchemical skills for some of her work with the Dalaran refugees.

[Officer][Lorthemar] Don’t they have apothecaries in Orgrimmar?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] Tons over in the Valley of Spirits.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I raised that point myself. All she would say was that it’s a matter of some delicacy and she would prefer to call on someone she knows.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: it’s possible mokvar is really gone

[Officer][Lorthemar] It’s exhausting having our supposed underlings running around on their own like this.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Preaching to the choir, Regent-Lord.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: if he is, and i go, then he won’t be any more gone, and all i’ll have done is waste some of my own time

[Officer][Lorthemar] We need better minions.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We really do.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: if he’s not, and i don’t go, then it might cost us something more valuable

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: the only mistake would be not to act

[Officer][Lorthemar] Hmm, guild chat is quiet.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: believe me, I hope you find something.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: I’m just trying not to get my hopes up

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Jaina and Kalecgos are probably talking in tells.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: well either way, i should be back soon

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: i should get going

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: me too

[Officer][Lorthemar] I wonder what they’re talking about that’s so secret.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: talk to you soon

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: good luck

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Probably you.

You have logged off.

 

Spazzle Speaks: The Goblin is Always Greener on the Other Side of Guild Chat

earthonline10a

After Garrosh put up that guild chat log yesterday, I thought it might be helpful to see things from another perspective…

You have logged on.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi baddie

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] check the appendix, then.

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] hi mrbadcrumble

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] it should be on a right-hand page, under a map if i recall.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Hey, mon.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey everyone

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good evening, Spazzle.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey sylvanas

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ok ok fine, i know better than to argue with you about these things

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: hey, how are you feeling?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] I DONT WANT TO IMAGINE HOW MUCH TIME YOU MUST HAVE SPENT IN LIBRARIES STUDYING THIS STUFF PROF

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Better, mon.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] should I even ask what they’re arguing about this time?

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] if only you knew.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Chen say pretty soon I be healed up enough ta be back on ma feet an outta dis monastery.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Honestly, I’m not even sure how they got started.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: that’s good

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] ah

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] seriously you must be some kind of master wizard with everything you seem to know

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Can’t happen soon enough, mon – don’ like dis sittin’ around.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] not really.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] so what are you working on? are we about to get achievement spammed as usual?

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i’m not particularly powerful as a caster; i just have a good handle on theory.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: yeah but you have to take care of yourself

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] YOU’D PROBABLY BE A GOOD TEACHER THEN

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Nothing imminent. I’m laying the groundwork for some longer-term projects at the moment.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Any news from Trall?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] maybe thats why his name is professor! =)

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] meh.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i think of it more as “professor” in the “mad scientist” sense.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: not last i heard

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] which is fitting, considering i spend most of my time in a laboratory developing biochemical agents of mass destruction.

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged on.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] haha yea right, your being sarcastic again

You whispered to [LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]: have you talked to lorthemar?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: When ya see ’im let ’im know I be dere as soon as I can, an den we deal wit’ Garrosh.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] drat, i’ve been caught.

[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] whispered: Speak the devil’s name…

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi pwn

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Hey OmgipwneduMon!

[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] whispered: Oops, mistell.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Speak a da devil, mon.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey boss

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Greetings, dear Warchief.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] is your connection any better pwn?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I guess we’ll find out in a minute

You whispered to [LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]: k good

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged off.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: i really don’t like all this sneaking around

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Haha!

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] omg

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] now see, for instance, i can’t work -that- kind of magic.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i just deploy verbal irony; i can’t conjure it up in actual events.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ya won’ need to much longer.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i swear i didnt do that!

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged on.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Soon we’ll be makin’ our move.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] UGH

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Leslie! Do it again, mon!

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WB PWN

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i didnt do anything!

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I take it your connection is none too improved since last time, Warchief?

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] You put da connection voodoo on him, mon!

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: still using the network grizzle set up for you?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, apparently

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Also that Bob guy is rubbing me the wrong way already

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Yeah

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] On the topic of what you’ve been doing, Leslie, has work continued to be hectic?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] He’d better watch it before I end up stabbing him in the neck

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: honestly, you might as well hire a couple extra tauren to send up smoke signals for your wifi

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You were starting to say, but ended up being sidetracked by ProfHubert.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Speaking of me stabbing people, by the way, did you manage to get Lori straightened out?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] BTW COULD I GET A GUILD INVITE FOR MY FRIEND

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] sure puff, just whisper me the name

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugh not really

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If you’re referring to leadership of the guild, I think I’ve convinced him to be reasonable and pass it back

[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] whispered: HER NAME IS LIVINGREDGIRL

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] He was quite agitated before.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You know, not for anything, but didn’t we used to ask people to APPLY to this guild once upon a time?

You whispered to [HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]: seriously?

[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] whispered: ?

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] does it really matter?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] just some office politics i’m trying to stay out of mostly

You whispered to [HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]: don’t you think that’s going to be a little confusing?

[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] whispered: Y

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I don’t particularly care about his moods

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] does anyone in this guild actually do anything other than sit around in guild chat?

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged off.

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] i do!

You whispered to [HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]: because of how similar that is to LivinDeadGrl?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] me to! just got my set bonus last night in fact

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] i’m level 52 now!

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] I mostly just hang out here in da capital cities, mon, an’ stir tings up in trade chat!

[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] whispered: OH I DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THAT

[Lorthemar] has logged on.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] grats eddie

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] hi lorthemar

[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] whispered: SHOULD I GET HER TO REROLL?

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Somebody gotta be da resident smartass in dis guild, right?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi lor!

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] um, i have some bad news for you…

You whispered to [HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]: no, she already has this toon… I just hope she doesn’t get a lot of mis-tells

[Guild][Lorthemar] Greetings, all!

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey lor

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Hello, Lor’themar.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol

You whispered to [HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]: I’ll send her an invite

[Officer][Lorthemar] Hail, Spazzle. Dark Lady.

[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] whispered: TY

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] yea bobby, prof has seniority on you

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] if only you knew.

You have invited [LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] to the guild.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Lor’themar, I should probably warn you straight away…

[LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] has joined the guild.

[LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] has been promoted to the rank Recruit.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] he spends most of his time in-game making sarcastic comments to people

[Guild][Lorthemar] Welcome, LivingRedGirl!

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] welcome red!

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged on.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] there you go!  welcome to the guild!

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] in point of fact, that’s not actually specific to in-game.

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Thank you all

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] wb pwn

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So as I was saying. I don’t care if Ponytail is happy about it as long as he manages to get his panties unbunched long enough to hand over guild control

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Garrosh was just on and will likely be back momentarily, so please try to humor him.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh be runnin’ outta friends fast.

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Oh and by the way

[Officer][Lorthemar] Hello, Garrosh…

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh drat. Two seconds too slow hitting return.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh and LOOK who’s here now

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: yeah, but I’m *one* of his friends

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh goodness, LivingRedGirl, you look almost just like me!

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Do you want to explain to me why I never heard a word from you about the whole Mokvar fiasco?

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Haha looks like it yes

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: um

[Officer][Lorthemar] Good evening, Warchief.

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: YES UM

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate, Leslie…

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, yeah, good evening, good morning, happy new year, whatever

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: I guess I figured you were already getting updates from people more important than me

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I know office politics can be precarious, Leslie. I’m not unfamiliar with them myself.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Are you ready to stop fucking around and put me back in place as guild leader?

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: and I was probably still hoping there would be some explanation for everything

[Officer][Lorthemar] While I still have my objections to the way you’ve been conducting yourself toward me and my people, Garrosh…

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ya ever stop ta ask yaself why, mon?

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: At this point I don’t particularly CARE about why

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] mostly just a coworker trying to drag me into his conflicts

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Or am I going to have to smack a bitch up first?

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: look, I understand why you’re doing what you’re doing

[Officer][Lorthemar] …case in point.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The bitch being you, by the way

[Officer][Lorthemar] *sigh*

[Officer][Lorthemar] In any case…I don’t want to hurt the guild over our personal squabbles.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: ugh hang on

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ah, interesting…

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] That’s refreshingly non-suicidal for you, Eyepatch

[Officer][Lorthemar] So, yes, here.

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: with the mokvar thing

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has been promoted to the rank Guild Leader.

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: it’s just hard for me to accept a friend going off the deep end, is all

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] GRATS PWN

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged off.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: ok that could have been ugly

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Is there anything particular to this conflict your coworker is trying to involve you in, Leslie?

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Dis is way too entertainin’.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: anyway, like I was saying

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or is it more along the lines of your typical…in-office sparring?

[Officer][Lorthemar] I almost feel bad for him.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] i tried to warn him about getting his network set up

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] 1 SEC SHE HAD TO AFK

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] but oh no, he sees a goblin and just figures “catch-all tech genius”

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ah, I see. No rush.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] since it appears most of my best sources of entertainment are away or disconnecting, i suppose i should go get some work done

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: look, I understand why you’re doing what you’re doing

[Guild][Lorthemar] Be well, ProfHubert!

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] later prof

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] in my absence, bob, feel free to take over as interim satirist

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Hah, tanks mon.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] just try not to stage some kind of sardonic coup while i’m away

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Haha, no promises, mon.

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] bye prof

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged on.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] bye prof

[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged off.

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Welcome back, mon! We missed ya!

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WB AGAIN PWN

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: and I’m helping thrall because, well, he’s thrall, and I don’t think it’s right the way the trolls are being treated

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Welcome back Omgipwnedurface

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] UGH UGH UGH

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] wish I could do something to fix it, chief

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, I know

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] but I think you may be kind of stuck with it until you get back or orgrimmar

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] In all honesty, Warchief, the fact that you’re having such connection difficulties at the moment may be a reason not to resume control of the guild just yet…

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m not sure there’s much to be gained from a guild leader who’s unable to be online to tend to the responsibilities of leadership.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: but that’s as far as I can go

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, I hate to say it, but you might have a point

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And frankly it’s getting way too annoying trying to stay on

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I can well imagine.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I won’t stab him in the back

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So yeah, let me do this

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] has been promoted to the rank Guild Leader.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] GRATS MRBADCRUMBLE

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Hey, grats, mon!

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Does leadership always change hands so often in the guild

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whoa seriously?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] NOT REALLY

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ya got ta listen to ya conscience, mon.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] He already has control of the web site and he’s got the best handle on all the nuts and bolts

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WELL MAYBE LATELY YEAH

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So just as well to let him mind the shop for now

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] A wise decision, of course, sir.

[Officer][Lorthemar] Congratulations, Spazzle.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I hope it’ll let ya sleep if tings go bad.

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Also because, even with the Mokvar thing, you’re the only one of these clowns I actually trust

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] thanks lor

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, so…

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: thanks chief

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m going to empty my mail just in case, and then log off here before something else pisses me off

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Of course, sir.

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: And I get why you kept quiet

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] It’s gotten quiet

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: But let me make this clear

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] THAT USUALLY MEANS THE OFFICERS ARE TALKING

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Mokvar is dead to me

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Oh

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: And if I ever find out where he’s run off to, he’s a dead man

[Guild][Lorthemar] I know it can be a bit unnerving.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: hey

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Anyway…later

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: hi spazzle

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: you haven’t heard anything from mokvar, have you?

[Guild][Lorthemar] I wasn’t sure what to make of it myself when I first joined the guild.

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged off.

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Are you new

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: not since he ran off

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: why?

[Guild][Lorthemar] …

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] oh hi lorthemar

[Guild][Lorthemar] No.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: this is bad

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] did you join recently?

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: this is really bad

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Me

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: what?

[Guild][Lorthemar] …

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] no, i could swear i’ve seen you before

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] I only just joined a few minutes ago

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: you remember the recall totem I told you about?  the one he left me to hold?

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] lorthemar seems new though

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: yes

[Guild][Lorthemar] I…

[Officer][Livindeadgrl | Sylvanas] Perhaps you just have one of those faces?

[Guild][Lorthemar] I believe I need to log off and step away from the game for a bit.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: the spirit link that a shaman makes with these totems makes them give off a green glow

[Guild][Lorthemar] It’s not good for my rage.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: it just went out

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] i’m sorry if i upset you, lorthemar

[Lorthemar] has logged off.

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] oh bother

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: oh

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] back

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: that’s bad?

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: yeah

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] sorry

[Guild][Livindeadgrl | Sylvanas] Welcome back, Leslie.

[Guild][Livindeadgrl | Sylvanas] Now where were we?

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: the only reason the totem would go out like that is if mokvar were dead

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] sorry livindead, i cant right now

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: but he can just wake up again, right? like last time?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i just came back to say bye and log

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] theres stuff happening here rl and i need to go

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: no, not like ‘waiting for my ankh to kick in’ dead

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] and so does puffy

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: like for real dead

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] like right now

[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] has logged off.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  oh dear

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] actually i need to run too

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: I need to go

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Is everything all right, Spazzle?

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: I have to check on this

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] no

You have logged off.