Tag Archives: hillsbrad
Death of the dead
I swear it’s just one damn thing after another around here. I guess when you’re Warchief there really is no rest for the awesome. I hadn’t even finished unpacking from my trip to Nagrand, when Sylvanas gives me the latest news from her neck of the woods, and it’s a doozey.
Just before I had left for Outland, Sylvanas’ people – or whatever the hell you want to call them – started running into some problems down in Hillsbrad. According to her, they started experimenting with some new strains of plague down there based on my orders…you know, when I was fuming and kind of, well, crazy. Anyway. While they were at it, though, and running some tests in Southshore, seems they set something off. Not like a bomb, that is, but for lack of a better word to describe it, it’s like they triggered some kind of anti-plague.
You know that thing in physics about how for every action there’s an equal and opposite reaction? Yeah, me neither, because I wasn’t a fucking science nerd in school, but still. From the way Sylvanas tells it, it’s like this thing that hit them in Southshore was the equal and opposite reaction to their plague. Any Forsaken who were in the vicinity of the experiments got slapped back by it and…well…anti-infected. That is, it swept through those Forsaken and basically neutralized the necromantic magic that had reanimated them in the first place. So those undead got the “un” slapped clean out of them, and dropped right then and there, restored back to the forms of their original, pre-risen human and blood elf bodies. What’s more, the anti-plague has started spreading through Southshore just like a plain ol’ regular plague, which is turning the place into a growing pile of Forsaken corpses that aren’t even recognizably Forsaken anymore.
I’m having High Warlord Cromush send as many of his troops as he can spare down from Tarren Mill to try to secure the area while we work on figuring out what’s going on. In the meantime I’ll be trying to coordinate with Sylvanas’ apothecaries to figure this out. I’m guessing this might be the kind of thing some of the goblins especially might be able to sink their tinker-happy teeth into. As far as the Forsaken are concerned, Southshore is now a quarantined area.
And I know what you’re probably thinking, why am I going to knock myself out to keep this thing from taking out the undead? It’s not like I’ve ever been much of a fan of them, right? Well, for one, if you take the Forsaken out of the equation all of a sudden, now you’ve got a huge void in Horde forces in Eastern Kingdoms without orcs or tauren in place to maintain our holdings. Hell, as it stands now, even with this thing just taking out a chunk of the undead in Southshore, we’ve got worgen swarming in trying to make their move on the place already. Can you imagine what happens if it spreads up through Silverpine into fucking Tirisfal Glades? What do you think the Alliance will do if they catch wind that the Forsaken are weakened and Lordaeron is vulnerable?
So that’s one thing, the tactical side of it. And then there’s this: it’s my fault this is happening. Whatever this thing is, Sylvanas’ people set it off after I ordered her to start up her plague research again. I gave the order, she got her apothecaries going in Southshore, kaboom. By the time I came to my senses and ordered her to put a stop to it, it was already too late – news of the anti-plague was already on the way. If I hadn’t given them the go-ahead, there wouldn’t have been any plaguey business going on down there in the first place, and none of this would have happened. I basically ordered Sylvanas’ people to their (un)deaths without even knowing I was doing it. So I think I owe her on this one.
Updates to follow. I have a few meetings to get to today concerning all of this. I’ll keep you all posted on where this goes.
Midnight oil
You have logged on.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good evening, Warchief.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or should I say good morning.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Greetings and salutations, Warchief!
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, hi, whatever
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Whoever the hell you are
[Guild][Lorthemar] Um…
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Isn’t this terribly late for you to be up, Warchief? It’s nearly 3am.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I could ask you the same question
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Technically, I suppose, but you must understand, dear Warchief, I *am* undead. My people don’t really require sleep, strictly speaking.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Huh. Lucky you
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It has its benefits, I will grant.
[Guild][Lorthemar] As for me, Warchief, it’s actually an interesting story.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Don’t really care why you’re not off in your jammies, new guy
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I take it you’ve not been resting well of late?
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You could say that
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Just as well for me to stay up…get some things done…better off being productive than trying to sleep and finding out what delights are waiting for me under my eyelids
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] What dreams may come, indeed.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m sorry these past days have been so stressful for you, Warchief.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, well
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If I can be of any assistance in these trying times, I am of course at your disposal.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Funny you should say that
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh really?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] That’s actually why I logged in
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Was kind of hoping you’d be on
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, once again, really?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The humans were behind this, you know, Sylvanas
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] One way or another, they did this
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] They were right here under my nose, watching me
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And I gave her to them
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Warchief, be reasonable. Clearly there’s no way you could have known, even if they *did* learn of your plans through the guild.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Maybe, maybe not
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Doesn’t really matter
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] But these humans…
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The internment camps, the sacking of Taurajo…how many more atrocities and petty indignities? Now this.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Their track record is, admittedly, less than shining.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’ve had enough
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’ve had as much of them as I can stand
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Yes sir…
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I know you’ve given them a pretty foul treatment yourself.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Warchief?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m not sure I follow…
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Sylvanas, please don’t talk to me like I’m naïve.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I may not be the deepest thinker in the world, but I’m not a fool, and I’m sure as hell not blind
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I know you’ve spent years conducting those revolting experiments of yours in Hillsbrad and who knows where else
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Using humans as guinea pigs, all that
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Warchief, I assure you, rumors of those experiments were exaggerated.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And whatever indiscretions occurred were put to a halt long ago.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You’re not getting it
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] That plague you were working on
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] It’s a go again
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Um…
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You mean to say, Warchief…?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You and your plague are back in business, Sylvanas.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You understand me?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Yes, sir…
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I don’t need to know the details
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Just do whatever you have to do
[Guild][Lorthemar] Um, Warchief, begging your pardon…
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And I ESPECIALLY don’t need to hear backtalk from YOU, red-shirt
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If you’re sure, Warchief, I will of course carry out your wishes…
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Good
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You know, it’s ironic, come to think of it
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] What is, sir?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You working on a “plague,” how everyone shit a brick being appalled by it
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] But you know?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Azeroth was already plagued with a much worse infection
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The humans
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] It’s time we fight fire with fire
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Of course, Warchief. As ever, I am always at the service of the Horde.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Good
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m going to go, see if I can get a little rest
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Probably wise. I suspect there will be long days ahead for us all.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m pretty sure they’ve already started
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Rest well, Garrosh.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Night, Sylvanas
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Night, new guy
[Guild][Lorthemar] Dark Lady, you can’t seriously plan to do this?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Quiet, Lor’themar.
[Guild][Lorthemar] But did you hear him?
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[Header image provided by Angelya from Revive and Rejuvenate, used here with permission and many thanks.]
The Awesome League of Awesome
As promised, here’s the result of this latest poll for the newest EPIC VERSE topic. So, with no further ado…BECAUSE YOU DEMANDED IT!
Where to go! What to do!
So much to explore.
Johnny Awesome on the move,
Always seeking more.
He keeps clearing each zone faster,
Tanaris, the last one to go:
Yet another triumph, although
Thousand Needles was disaster.
Now he’s questing with a reputation to restore.
Garrosh really wants him dead,
Really hates that elf.
Put a bounty on his head,
How he’s by himself.
Hold your horses, no complaining
That he screwed up on that last run.
Magatha, she pulled a fast one
Now he’s got few friends remaining.
Just because he freed one traitor from the Twilight Shelf.
Johnny Awesome headed north
Flying through the Barrens.
But as he was setting forth
It became apparent
He had work to do here – rescue!
Some poor undead rogue was dying:
Swarmed by quillboar, he was trying,
But perhaps he merely was new.
Or perhaps dropped on his dead by inattentive parents.
Either way, he needed saving –
Johnny Awesome to the fray!
The undead was smiling, waving,
As the quillboar fled away.
Johnny Awesome: “My work here’s done.”
“HI I’M DUMASS!” “Um, okay.”
“LET’S BE FRIENDS!” “No, go away.”
“OH OKAY! WHERE ARE WE GOING?”
This was when he realized that he’d have a real long day.
“So, Dumass,” J.A. did say
And fought the urge to kill,
“Why the Barrens?” “OH OKAY!
I’M GOING TO TARREN MILL!”
“Wait, Dumass, where did you come from?”
“SILVERPINE AND HILLSBRAD, SIR!”
“Tarren Mill was where you were.”
Blank stare. “Fitting name there, Dum.”
And Dumass just smiled and nodded while his brain stood still.
“Well, I’ll let you travel on,”
Johnny Awesome said.
“OH OKAY! SO WHERE TO, JOHN?”
“…or come with me instead.”
Johnny Awesome sighed so forlorn.
“Well then, let’s head to Winterspring.”
“WOW WE’RE GOING TO KILL THE LICH KING?”
Frosted flake pursues Frostmourne.
“…Let’s just hope that bounty means that soon I will be dead.”
Up to Winterspring they flew,
Seeking thrills and danger.
But Johnny Awesome really knew
That things would just get stranger.
In the mountains, climbing higher,
Till they came upon a cave.
Hiding place of some vile knave?
Monsters? Dragons breathing fire?
Surely there would be rewards from those they would endanger.
When flying upon a frost wyrm
Came someone he’d seen before:
An orc warrior, hardly infirm,
Landing on a node of ore.
“OMG THE LICH KING!” Dumass
Cried out as the orc was mining.
“Where?” the orc cried, “A defining
Triumph shall be mine at last!”
Meanwhile Johnny Awesome palmed his face an instance more.
“Huh, no Lich King?” the orc grumbled,
Staring down this elf naysayer.
“Bet he’s hiding,” next he mumbled.
“I am Orkus – the Kingslayer!”
“Greetings, Orkus—” “HI! I’M DUMASS!”
“I am Johnny Awesome, sir.”
Orkus answered, “I’ll infer
You’re the brains here.” “HI! I’M DUMASS!”
“..Meanwhile I would guess your friend here’s Stupidville’s new mayor.”
Before Johnny Awesome answered,
Skulking out from in the cave
Came a yeti, lone advancer –
No warning or sound he gave.
“It’s attacking!” “Hurry! Kill it!”
“OMG! A DRAGON!” “What?”
No move made the yeti, but
They smelled blood and they would spill it.
Thus the yeti’s early rise might mean an early grave:
Hardly had the yeti woken,
So he found this a surprise.
His defense was scarcely token,
Looking ’round with sleepy eyes.
Just the same, the fight took ages.
None of them could land a blow.
Swinging, missing, tripping, so
To give the details would take pages.
So we’ll TL;DR for the poor yeti’s demise.
Finally the yeti stumbled
In a hulking lifeless heap.
Orkus yelled, “Vile beast! Be humbled!
Yeah, that’s right. Don’t make a peep.”
“Hey, you know, this has me thinking,”
Johnny Awesome said at last.
“We sure kicked that yeti’s ass
(Even granted I’ve been twinking),
If we stayed a team, just think the benefits we’d reap.”
“YAY! I HAVE TWO FRIENDS!” said Dumass.
Not suspecting they might toss ’im.
“As a group,” said Orkus, “en masse,
No more fleeing or playing possum!”
Johnny Awesome nodded, beaming:
“We could take the world by storm!”
“Wipe out every beastly swarm!”
“End all villains’ evil scheming!
Look out, Azeroth, here comes the Awesome League of Awesome!”
“Just one thing,” said Orkus, “Any
Chance you’ve got a healing spec?
I took a few hits there – well, many.”
“Sorry, no.” “Eh, what the heck.
It can wait till we get going
Back to town, and heal up there.”
“Let’s go. Soon, evil beware!”
Johnny Awesome’s pride was glowing.
And the trio gathered up to start their homeward trek.
Off they marched with scarce attention
To a shadow in the sky:
Far beyond their apprehension
What was coming, much less why.
Down upon them swooped a wyvern!
“En garde!” “Fight him off!” “YES SIR!”
Now go get ’im, Mortimer!
Alas, though, he did not discern
Who was who correctly when he landed his bullseye.
“I’ve got aggro!” Orkus bellowed.
But before they could decide
How to help him, he was mangled:
Down he went and there he died.
“It got Orkus! Kill it!” Johnny
Awesome yelled, but not in time.
Mortimer did swiftly climb
Into the air, and then was gone.
And from nowhere, “YAY! WE KILLED THE LICH KING!” Dumass cried.
EPIC VERSE!
