Tag Archives: shokia
Aptitude test
Since we’ve been back in Pandaria, the trainees have been putting in a fair amount of time with Shokia while I’ve been busy. At first, Shademaster Kiryn was helping take the kids on patrols, but she wasn’t exactly enthused about working with them. I guess she isn’t a people person like I am. Shokia, on the other hand, was all in. She volunteered to take them out more. Nothing major, mind you. Patrols, scouting trips, assorted odd jobs in the neighborhood of the base. Nothing you’d call heavy lifting. Just enough to keep the kids in practice and let them flex their muscles a little.
She gets it. Shokia remembers where her duty lies. Her real duty, not just her job description. She understands serving the Horde isn’t just what you do while you’re punching the clock. It’s what you ARE. She looks at those kids and she doesn’t just see the kids. She sees her mother and her grandfather and the next ten generations of orcs that’ll come after them. It’s the dedication you see in the truest orcs there are. Shokia and Nazgrim. Fallen like Bloodhilt and Krimpatul. It’s not about the job. It’s about the whole line. Not work. Duty.
Shokia’s been giving me quick reports now and again on the trainees. Mostly she’s just been confirming what I’ve already seen from them. Korrina’s high ceiling but tendency to be reckless. Giska’s contrasting discipline. Kulkesh’s nose-to-the-grindstone work ethic. All of them coming along.
The commentary that’s been sticking out, though has been Shokia’s take on Gurtash. She’s noted the same hesitance and awkwardness I’ve been seeing from him in combat. But she’s been more struck by his… I forget how she put it… his sense of space, I suppose. And while the kid’s always had a pretty good eye, Shokia thinks that he’s got particularly good aim on his Heroic Throws — so much so that she’s wondering if he might actually be better suited to fighting at range. So the end result is that she’d like permission to try giving Gurtash a really basic intro hunter lesson, and see if he takes to it.
I’ve got mixed feelings about the idea, to be honest. I mean, Gurtash already has a foot in the door — admittedly, a clumsy, awkward foot — to the bottomless pit of awesome that is being a warrior. Which he’s SAID he’s wanted to be ever since he wrote me that very first mailbag letter forever ago. And yeah, he might have an easier time as a hunter, but… I mean… from what I hear people saying about “huntards,” it sounds like that’s maybe the point. Mind you, I don’t know, so don’t all you huntards– erm, hunters — go getting your panties all in a bunch. This is just what I’m told.
On the other hand, facts are facts — the kid’s been having a rough go of it as a warrior so far. And maybe his skills DO translate better to a crossbow, or a… slingshot… or a… fucking explosive frisbee… DON’T GIVE ME A LOOK, I don’t know what the fuck they use. THEY JUST SPENT LIKE FIVE YEARS TELLING US EVERYTHING IS A HUNTER WEAPON, okay? It’s their OWN DAMN FAULT nobody knows what they actually fucking use. Also BESIDE THE POINT, because the ACTUAL point is that the goddamn hunters could use a little handheld catapult that throws frogs suffering from severe flatulence at you for all I care, because early returns on the kid say the fight-with-an-axe thing maybe ain’t happening. Or maybe it still is. I don’t know. Work in progress.
Anyhow, it’s only an intro lesson, I suppose. Nothing really binding. We can see how the kid does and go from there.
More soon.
Okay, who pulled?
Earlier today, I rounded up General Nazgrim, Shokia, Jorn Skyseer, and a few Kor’kron — beastmasters in particular — and finally took a trip up to the Isle of Giants. Most of you will probably remember I’ve been having Nazgrim send his people up there to get the lay of the land and scout out the prospect of there being some animals — the Giants of which this is the Isle of — that might be useful to us. Because DINOSAURS, motherfucker.
Now, most of you will ALSO probably remember that the last time I got a report on the subject from Naz and company, I was still in Orgrimmar, and Nazgrim’s people decided to get cute rather than waiting for me to get back down here to Pandaria. And, you know, things went about as well as you’d expect them to when my minions go off-script. R.I.P. Wannabe Dinomancer Steve, you stupid dead motherfucker.
So today I finally took the trip up there to check things out personally. And HOO BOY, they were NOT kidding about that place. DINOSAUR CITY, man. Shokia took point for us, since she’d led the scouting expeditions and knew the territory the best. She guided us up to this central plateau on the island, and lo and behold, larger than life, there he was — Oondasta, the giant freaking devilsaur that Nazgrim’s crew had their eyes on last time, before ol’ Deadmaster Steve turned out to smell appetizing.
Now, though, we came prepared — seeing as THIS time, the brains of the operation had an actual BRAIN. What’s more, I had my handy-dandy Tome of Dinomancy that Grottee Metalbeard scored for me, and after we managed to maneuver Oondasta into a clear area, the beastmasters started doing their thing, and everything started falling into place. The dino struggled at first, but soon enough he started giving in to the enchantments of the tome, and full-on taming looked to be right around the corner.
Aaaaaand of course, since this is US, that’s when something stupid happened. The stupid in this case took the form of this random bunch of Alliance nobodies running on in and ATTACKING the damn devilsaur that we were trying to tame. Before we even had a chance to react, they had the dino beaten down pretty badly, and even though we were able to thin the herd pretty quickly once we realized what was going on, the remaining Allies were still able to finish Oondasta off. Like, just shy of one minute before I personally chopped the last handful of them into several dozen pieces.
But, still, damage done. Shokia was nearly as pissed off about it as I was, which is saying something. Apparently it’s some kind of a hunter thing, people killing their prospective pets, and I mean, who the fuck does that? In what other setting is that shit a cool thing to do? Would someone go running into a fucking pet shop, too, and put an axe through the damn goldfish you were getting ready to buy, along with a little model sunk ship and a little model Nazgrim leading his little model crew away from their latest little model disaster? No. Nobody does that. But oh boy, take the “you kill it, you buy it” policy out of the equation, and all of a sudden watch the griefers come out of the woodwork. Fucking rude if you ask me.
Anyway, I suppose we didn’t come away COMPLETELY empty-handed. We know that these tomes actually work, for one thing. And according to my sources, there’s an even bigger, badder devilsaur wandering around out there. A little more elusive, apparently, but we’ll find him.
Also, I have kind of a consolation prize to bring back to base with me. After Oondasta and the bad-judgment-having Alliance jackasses all bought it, we were getting ready to leave, when this young, cobalt-colored direhorn came wandering into the clearing. She went sniffing around Oondasta’s body, then poked around kind of aimlessly before she came over near us. Jorn’s guess is that the direhorn followed Oondasta around and fed on his leftovers. Whatever the story was, she seemed to take a liking to me right away (#TheLadyDinosaursLoveGarrosh?), and started following me, and… well… yeah, I guess I’ve got another mount for my personal stash in the stables. <shrug>
Anyhow, I suppose we’ve got a little time now to line things up for take two with that other devilsaur. In the meantime, I get to figure out how I’m going to get a damn direhorn back to base.
More soon.
Return engagement
We just arrived back in Pandaria. Finally. Granted, we couldn’t get here without a heaping pile of stupid washing up on deck during the trip, because, you know, IT’S US, but whatever. At least we got some decent seafood out of the deal. Plus the Wonder Twins are on notice that I’ll put them on patrol IN THE OCEAN around the base if they get on my nerves too much, and when I say that, it’s not just talk. AS IF THERE SHOULD BE ANY DOUBT TO BEGIN WITH.
General Nazgrim has been holding down the fort at Domination Point while I’ve been away, and, you know, since it’s pretty hard to crash a FORT into anything, everything seems to have gone fairly well. Well, unless you count the asshattery with the genius maneuver Nazgrim and some of his people tried pulling up at the Isle of Giants, but I’ll deal with that soon enough. The less we talk about that, the better. Mainly because the less we talk about it, the less I’m reminded of the crashing stupidity of a depressing percentage of my minions, and the less I’m reminded of that, the less I’m going to feel the urge to drive an Unnecessary Ornamental Spike™ through my skull.
Hey, look, 200 gold is 200 gold. You fuckers have to stop clutching your damn pearls over this. COMMERCE, MOTHERFUCKERS.
While we were away, Elder Cloudfall — you know, the old (hence “Elder,” DUH) panda dude who’s been varying degrees of helpful with the cryptic — took off back to his monastery. (I mean, anybody who thought he was just going to sit around Domination Point all that time NOT stuffing his face on familiar panda fare, take a step forward. Then take another step forward. Then keep taking steps forward until you walk into something sharp.) (MIGHT I RECOMMEND AN UNNECESSARY ORNAMENTAL SPIKE™?)
Cloudfall’s crazy-ass monkey friend Zhi-Zhi, though, decided to stick around the base. I guess he knew Tak-Tak or something (no, not Tak — Tak-Tak, and FUCKING HELL don’t make me go through THAT annoying shitpile again), so he figured he felt well enough at home to save himself the trip back to Tian Monastery and just stayed around the base helping out with odd jobs. I mean, I guess he couldn’t be any worse than some of the OTHER jokers I have on payroll.
Actually, is HE on payroll now? Is Nazgrim actually cutting a check to that fucker? How much? What’s the going rate for monkey labor? Can we pay him in bananas or some shit? I need to know these things.
It’s going to take a few days for me to get fully updated from Nazgrim, Blood Guard Gro’tash, the rest of the command and support staff here. Plus I need to get Mokvar acclimated to the place, seeing as he’s new to Pandaria. Also Brolic, a blademaster Lantresor recommended as an addition to my personal guard. He seems like he’ll be a valuable addition, but since he’s still new, I’d just as soon not assign him right off to work with the trainees the way the last batch of blademasters — Burzum, Ishi, and Krimpatul — did when they were here. For the time being, I’m having the DPS kids join Marksman Shokia and Shademaster Kiryn when they go out on patrol. Fairly controlled situation, watchful eye of two of our better operatives down here, plus it’ll give the kids a chance to get some input from kind of a different perspective, seeing as Shokia is a hunter and Kiryn is a rogue. Neither of which is as awesome or glorious as being a warrior, granted, but, hey. More exposure is better than less exposure.
I mean, in terms of training. Not if you’re talking about, say, an ogre and a platekini. In that case, cover that shit up, dammit. People want to eat lunch sometime this week.
More soon.
Leave the dinomancy to the dinomancers
So, I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this before, but I’m really starting to think, oh, I don’t know, I might possibly need some BETTER FUCKING MINIONS. Have I already talked about this?
WELL HERE’S THE LATEST FUCKING CHAPTER.
I just got a report from General Nazgrim in Pandaria. Delivered straight from Pandaria by the general’s personal courier, Quirox the Illiterate. Yes, you read that right. Yes, that’s his nickname. No, I’m not joking. And yes, it’s accurate. And as ridiculous as that sounds, it actually has some merit to it. Think about it — an illiterate courier means you can send highly classified, top secret documents without there being ANY chance of prying eyes peeking in transit. Also, this might or might not tell us anything, but later on in the day, guess who I noticed ol’ Quirox hanging out with? Here’s a hint: the letters D and U are involved. Birds of a braindead feather, I tell you.
Anyway, Nazgrim’s report. And if you’ve been reading the blog for any length of time, you probably already have a sense of what tends to happen when I delegate to people and then have them report back to me later. For those of you who are new to the party, what tends to happen is NOTHING WHATSOEVER THAT IS GOOD FOR MY FUCKING BLOOD PRESSURE. Case in point: A little while back, I gave Nazgrim orders to send some people up to this Isle of Giants place off the coast of Pandaria and see what the dinosaur situation was. Because if the fucking Zandalari could sweet-talk some of the dinosaurs into being mounts and minions for them, we sure as well should try to get in on the ground floor there, because DINOSAURS, HOT DAMN.
Now, Nazgrim’s original assignment was to send a scouting detail to size things up. Which he did, with a small team headed by Marksman Shokia and Shademaster Kiryn. They zipped on up to the Isle of Giants, surveyed the area, gathered info on the denizens. No sign of the Zandas, other than an abandoned ship off the coast. Still loads of dinosaurs all over the place, ready for the taking. So far, so good. Awesome.
Then, for some reason I DON’T KNOW WHY, Nazgrim decided to get creative and go off the script.
This is the part where the long-time readers among you probably starting getting a Bad Feeling About This.
Because…yeah.
So, you might remember a few mailbags ago, Grottee Metalbeard sent along a peace offering to make up for his HOLY FUCKING SHIT “How to Out-Tirion Tirion” letter, in the form of a Zandalari Tome of Dinomancy that he’d gotten hold of. (I’ll forgive you if you’d missed that detail, since by that point a lot of you were probably like “Oh shit, another Grottee letter, it’s skim time, somebody tell me when it’s safe to come out.”) (Then the universe unleashed Sarlin on us all. Well played, universe. You win again.) My plan was to bring it with me when I head back to Pandaria, along with a team of Kor’kron beastmasters, and have them see if they could make use of it to tame us some new badass military monsters.
Somehow or other, though, Nazgrim got his hands on one of those tomes himself, and decided it was a good idea to take matters into his own hands and have some of his people try to use it themselves, even though the people HE had on hand weren’t Kor’kron beastmasters. They were, in fact, neither Kor’kron NOR beastmasters. Nor competent. Nor in possession, apparently, of an ounce of fucking SENSE, but hey, since when is THAT news when it comes to somebody I have on my payroll not named fucking ME?
So Nazgrim toddled on up to the Isle of Giants with… I don’t know, WHOEVER the fuck he thought would be good to try this with. Some non-Kor’kron non-beastmaster dude. I don’t even think he was a hunter, because, yeah, THAT’S another good idea when you’re trying to tame something. I don’t even know WHAT he was. Just some guy, apparently. Probably named Steve or some shit. ANYWAY. They flew over there, and Nazgrim had one of his people, Generic Red Shirt Moron Steve, try his luck with the Tome of Dinomancy. Oh but also, to add to the shit-tacular brilliance of this plan, they didn’t bother trying things out on any of the smaller, weaker dinosaurs, just to get a feel for the process, because that would just make too much damn SENSE, right? Oh no, old Steve went straight for the big noise — he went right on up to this giant freaking devilsaur that the locals called Oondasta. And, you know, when a dinosaur gets a fucking NAME, you know it’s no joke, right? As if to say, oh, those plain ol’ regular dinosaurs? Pfft, who cares about those? They’re just FUCKING DINOSAURS. But THIS one here? HOO BOY, THIS is the one you have to pay attention to.
So ol’ fucking worthless shithead Steve — who I literally know nothing about other than his existence (and by the way, stay tuned even on THAT front), but who I’m still going to make sweeping dismissive comments about because FUCK THAT IDIOT — he rolled up on Oondasta like he owned the place, and started trying whatever dino-mojo the Tome of Dinomancy had in it. And Oondasta picked up on the dinomancy vibe and came stomping on over, and walked right up to fuckhead Steve, and you know what happened next? THE FUCKING DEVILSAUR LEANED RIGHT DOWN AND SWALLOWED STEVE IN ONE BITE, COMPLETE WITH THE FUCKING TOME, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.
By the way, let me tell you, Nazgrim’s attempt to give an account of that in his report, without making it sound like the total fucking disaster that it was? I don’t know if it was hilarious or fucking sad. It’s a damn good thing he’s a decent field officer, though, because his non-combat decisionmaking? Eesh.
Anyway, though, I would say we’re back to the drawing board, except we really aren’t any worse off than we were before Nazgrim had his little brainstorm. We still have a useful scouting report on the Isle of Giants, and we still have MY Tome of Dinomancy, because unlike some OTHER people I could mention (I’m looking right at YOU, Steve — or I WOULD, if it weren’t for the fact that you’re probably getting ready to get shat out by Oondasta even as we speak), I have enough sense not to go running off unprepared to do some stupid shit. I MAKE SURE I’M PREPARED FOR THE STUPID SHIT I DO, GODDAMMIT.
We’ll just have to pick this up once I get back down there, tome and beastmasters in tow. Let’s keep our fingers crossed that nobody manages to shit the bed on this operation any more than they already have.
More soon.
When we last left Krog…
I have Krog’s latest report from Pandaria, and considering I’m going to be on my way there sooner rather than later, this intel he’s gathering is going to start becoming pretty damn important. Before I get to that, though, let me address a couple other items quickly, since everybody seems to have been having a low-grade freak-out the last couple days. Specifically, about Mokvar.
So before everyone starts rolling out their full-on crazy over this, yes, Mokvar is okay. A little banged up, yeah, but he’ll be fine. I’m just giving him a little time to rest up and get his head together before I have him back on the job, seeing as I figure it must do a number on you when, y’know, you die and shit. I’ve got a regular guard keeping watch on his place, and I know Ji Firepaw has been dropping by regularly to check on him. He’ll be fine as long as everybody doesn’t start coming on like gangbusters, so please put your panties back on and try to calm the fuck down.
I’ve got Malkorok looking into this business. I don’t much like the fact that something like this went down, not least of all because it means somebody was able to get into Orgrimmar and target one of my aides. I’ve seen a few other reports the last few days about a shadowy figure or something being seen sneaking around the city, which doesn’t exactly make me bubble over with good feelings about security around here. Frankly, if Krog weren’t down there in Pandaria, I would probably have him do some extra sleuthing up here. I may have to look into a few investigative options as it is.
Anyway, speaking of Krog, let’s get back to the man himself. You all voted to have him get back to business and check on whatever happened with the original landing party out of Garrosh’ar Point. (Man, I still really do like the ring of that name.) So, with no further ado…
shokia accompanied me from grookin hill and we made our way south. en route we passed a cottage that shokia says had been occupied by a ‘jade witch’ who had turned sergeant garrok into a jade statue; eventually garrok was restored and brought back to grookin hill to recover.
Huh. Now that’s some weird business, turning living people into minerals and back…might want to look into that later. Could be handy in a few different ways…
also en route passed pandaren settlement at paw’don village. village had formed ties with alliance; passed a bit too close; these pandaren markedly less friendly than the wandering isle lot.
Now that I think of it, these pandas might possibly have been crankier than the Wandering Isle pandas because they were mad about not getting to go on the turtle ride…
horde forces had withdrawn to nearby fortress called twinspire keep; find attached schematic outlining fortress layout and grounds. upon arrival, discovered remaining landing party had been killed by alliance aerial attack.
Side note here before I get too pissed off about the good people we lost there – from the looks of it, this Twinspire Keep place is pretty much identical to Thunder Hold, the base that the initial Alliance force had taken over, the one Nazgrim and his people took out when they first arrived. And… I mean… what are the odds of that? The first wave of each side’s troops set up shop in identical fortresses, only to be neutralized by the SECOND wave of the OTHER side’s forces, with a soon-to-be-friendly panda village right neaby? Seriously, is that freaky coincidental or what?
no survivors, by all indications. shokia and i took a few hours to tend to the bodies; alliance had left them to rot on the ground.
Of course they did. Because they’re so pure and noble and honorable. And they call us savages.
was able to identify bodies of commander dalgan and bellandra felstorm. also appears that warlocks had summoned demonic beholder, body of which was also found. note: burnt rotting demon corpses smell very, very bad.
inside keep, found body of warlock ga’trul along with his journal; will hold for your inspection at next opportunity. while body was identifiable, also appeared to have been corrupted somehow; entire body had taken on dark gray hue, hands and arms had morphed into claws, further deformations of body. inconsistent with metamorphoses usually observed with warlocks.
gist of journal: ga’trul assumed command of fleet after captain krug was killed during initial engagement with alliance. ga’trul seemed to grow increasingly hostile and paranoid during time in keep. then again, he ended up being killed, so maybe not so paranoid. he attempted to barter with paw’don pandaren without success; took forsaken suggestion to abduct pandaren cubs to use as bargaining chips; eventually there appears to have been a sharp rift between orc and forsaken forces within the keep.
Okay, so…wait, what? The what happened? The what times like five? They had a frigging insurrection within the group? How the hell did that happen?
shokia has expressed intention to return north to check on garrok and rejoin nazgrim and others. awaiting further instructions.
Which leads us to our two main leads we could have Krog follow up on: that surprise expedition that Baine had sent to Pandaria, or the creepy-ass similarity between Ga’trul’s body and these sha creatures. Or, hell, I’ll toss another option into the mix, since I was just talking about this a few paragraphs up…
When we last left Krog…
So Krog’s latest report from Pandaria came in yesterday. I was planning to post this update last night, but while I was startung to get the post together, I made the mistake of tabbing over to Earth Online, and telling myself I could just talk with the guild a little while I was working. And you know how that goes, right? “I’ll just tab over for a minute” = nothing gets done in the original window ever.
As it turns out, I happened to log on just in time for another Lor’themar hissy fit over people not knowing who he is. So that was fun. I told him to cool it, and he was like “Why don’t you come here and make me?”, and dude didn’t seem to get the fact that e-thugging empty threats doesn’t work so well when the guy you’re mouthing off to knows your home address and had a hunch of mages on staff.
I’m at least 50% sure his face will heal up okay. And even if not, maybe an eyepatch would help toughen up his look anyway.
Anyhow, that’s what was going on yesterday. So now, let’s get caught up with our buddy Krog in Pandaria. You guys voted – by a hair – to send him back to the hozen camp to secure Anduin. When we last left him, he and Shokia were pinned down by an Alliance sniper at Serpent’s Heart. And so…
begging the warchief’s pardon, but while waiting for your further instructions matters reached a point where action was needed.
I mean really, how high-maintenance are some of my minions that they basically say “Sorry I went ahead and did something without your go-ahead when I was getting shot at”?
alliance sniper’s shots were keeping me and shokia pinned down tightly. i stealthed and tried to scout her position but was unable to get a clear read through the greenery. meanwhile sniper was somehow able to make fairly good estimates of my position even while stealthed. eventually used smoke bombs to give myself and shokia cover to withdraw, and made our way north.
good news and bad news upon arrival at horde/hozen camp at grookin hill.
good news: general nazgrim, kiryn, and rivett clutchpop all survived battle at serpent’s heart and have been moved west to pandaren settlement at binan village to recover from injuries.
Okay, well, I already knew that much, seeing as I’d gotten the report on that from Nazgrim himself, but yeah, that is good news. Although he seemed to leave out the whole Anduin thing, which is kind of troubling. Also most of the business about the giant black demon thingy that came out of nowhere and handed him his ass.
bad news: apparently in the confusion of the battle, anduin escaped.
…
I… He… They…
Hang on.
…
…
…
Sorry. I had to go schedule a one-on-one session with Ben-Lin Cloudstrider to work on methods for dealing with this sudden inexplicable SEETHING FIT OF SOUL-RENDING RAGE that I seem to be experiencing at the moment FOR SOME REASON, which may or may not be related to the likelihood that EVERYONE ON MY PAYROLL IS APPARENTLY COMPLETELY FUCKING INCOMPETENT.
How – HOW, can you please EXPLAIN this to me – can these people POSSIBLY let the fucking PRINCE OF STORMWIND get away “in the confusion”? What the fuck does that even MEAN? What confusion? The battle was a ways away from the camp, so why would there even have been any confusion there? Or was someone actually cosmically stupid enough to think it was a good idea to bring a high-profile captive WITH them to a battle?
I’m seriously going to have to get my ass down there to Pandaria, because this is just too fucking much.
welcome back, warchief – i assume you had to step away for a moment after reading that last bit.
Okay, credit where it’s due. Dude knows me.
hozen unclear on which way anduin may have fled. not surprising; hozen unclear on most things unrelated to feces. likeliest possibilities appear to be westward across the river, which would take anduin toward farming district; and southward, toward alliance encmapment and area where anduin was originally captured.
standing by for further orders.
When we last left Krog…
…he was fussing around in the Jade Forest checking on what was left of the original Horde fleet at Garrosh’ar Point. (By the way, gotta admit, that name really does have a ring to it. Too bad the place wound up getting trashed.) I asked you all to chime in on what Krog should do next — because spirits forbid my investigator should make a decision on his own — and you guys decided that his priority should be tracking down Anduin, who’s apparently on the loose out there in Pandaria. Because he happened to be on one of the Alliance ships cruising around the middle of nowhere in the southern oceans. Because Varian’s really on top of his shit when it comes to watching out for his kid. So for those of you keeping score at home, that makes him a shitty king, a shitty fighter, a shitty strategist, a shitty blogger, a shitty dancer, AND a shitty dad. With shitty hair. Also fuck you, Varian.
Anyway.
I sent the new orders along to Krog a couple days ago. Here are highlights from his latest report from the field:
attempted to find a trail for anduin after his departure from the wreckage of the alliance flagship, but leads were inconclusive in light of heavy activity in the area recently. stealthing through the pearlfin jinyu village revealed little, jinyu numbers seemed depleted as most warriors appear to have been sent elsewhere, but no indication of the prince. also, alliance members appear to have left jinyu village as well.
pandaren of paw’don village remain under alliance influence. i attempted to approach a village guard to make inquiries in support of anduin investigation. greeted poorly. also violently. with equally poor and violent treatment from additional, rapidly arriving guards. for future reference: pandaren not necessarily as cuddly as initial cursory observations would suggest.
after hasty exit from paw’don village, i was indulging in some cathartic venting at the pandaren guards (from safe distance), mainly elaborating on varieties of evisceration i would unleash on them given the chance to open with a good stunlock, when i began to experience odd sensations – unfocused violent urges, fits of anger, coupled with strange sense of mental detachment.
in the midst of these sensations, pandaren local appeared and began channeling a spell of some kind on me – violent impulses abated, and a handful of small black creatures spawned around me only to die immediately. pandaren did not identify himself; too busy complaining about energies being brought by my “fellow strangers” to pandaria; added something about the land living and breathing, whatever that means. wore distinctive hat and scarf (unsure if this looked goofy or cool on him). when pressed for explanation, he directed me to a nearby pavilion, then left, making parting complaint about it being a busy week for him. non-cuddly impression of the pandaren people gaining traction.
i made my way to the pavilion, where i met another pandaren native – THIS one was willing to give a name: lorewalker cho. apparently a historian of some sort. identified black creatures as manifestation of sentient dark energy called sha; added this was a minor manifestation; grew notably withdrawn when pressed on question of what a major manifestation would be like. when questioned for leads on anduin, cho indicated that he’d spoken with others also looking for the prince – presumably alliance – and had helped give them visions to lead them in right direction. i was able to convince him to show me one of these visions; brief vision revealed anduin traveling north with two pandaren, an older male and younger female, before parting ways.
i was able to follow the trail north and found the pandaren female – who was making preparations to bury the older male, her father, who had succumbed to injuries shortly after anduin’s departure. she didn’t have much information, but did provide interesting development: while with anduin, they were intercepted by alliance SI:7 operatives who attempted to take the prince with them. intent on pursuing other interests in pandaria, anduin used mind control on SI:7 agents to elude them.
Okay, I’m going to stop this here for just a second to point something out here. These SI:7 people are supposed to be Varian’s elite team of secret agents or whatever. And these people…the best of the best, the Alliance’s A#1 crack team…got bamboozled by a fourteen-year-old boy.
Can someone please explain to me WHY THE FUCK we haven’t beaten these people yet?
Okay, moving on.
followed anduin’s trail westward. in transit, reached area called serpent’s heart, where a major battle had recently taken place – area littered with large number of hozen and jinyu bodies; ground scarred with surreal black-and-white patterns and dark energy tendrils; several larger versions of the black sha creatures swarming vicinity.
while surveying the area, gunshots broke out, seemingly from two directions. i was grazed by a bullet, which took me out of stealth; initially confused as to how i could have been targeted while effectively invisible. once unstealthed, however, i was pulled behind cover of rocks by horde operative: marksman shokia, who had been engaged in shoot-out with an alliance sniper.
between shots, shokia filled in some details: anduin had been captured by shademaster kiryn and was being held at horde base in hozen village prior to battle between horde and alliance here at serpent’s heart. during battle, enormous sha creature appeared, spawned several lesser sha, and attacked both sides. the primary sha was driven off and most survivors from both armies evacuated from field, but shokia and the alliance sniper were left behind in the confusion. both have been trying to pick each other off from behind cover since.
awaiting further orders.
So, since Krog is apparently still unable to make a call on his own, even when he’s PINNED DOWN IN THE FIELD, I’ll kick it back to you all…
