Tag Archives: spazzle
The sincerest form of flattery
So, I know that when somebody comes up with a real winner of an idea, it’s only a matter of time before some uncreative motherfuckers go all copycat, but come the fuck ON.
So yeah. Like I was saying last time, interest in the Brawler’s Guild has been booming, bidding on those guild invitations is going through the roof, everything’s good. Then, I get up this morning and look over the latest intelligence reports — which, let me tell you, given the apparent state of most of my spies and minions, is a fucking IRONIC term — and what do I have staring me in the face?
The goddamn Alliance went and started THEIR OWN FUCKING BRAWLER’S GUILD.
I mean, for FUCK’S sake, doesn’t ANYBODY come up with ideas of their own anymore? I swear I’d be half tempted to SUE the assholes if, you know, I wasn’t already engaged in a systematic effort to murder them all. But SURE, fuckers, ADD FUEL TO THE FIRE.
Ugh. Serves me right for not taking more steps to lock this idea down. And for doing most of the planning with Boss Bazzelflange over e-mail. Which apparently, Spazzle tells me, somebody on the other side might have managed to intercept or hack or something. That’s pretty frustrating, on the one hand, in the sense that you’d expect Bazzelfuse to have some better e-mail security what with her being a goblin… but it’s also kind of amusing, on the other hand, in the sense that apparently someone over on the Alliance side had managed to dip into the e-mails of the Warchief of the Horde, and which ones did they decide to peek in on? Not the ones with the sensitive military intel, no sir. IF THOSE E-MAILS EXISTED, that is. WHICH THEY DAMN WELL DO NOT AND NEVER DID.
Dammit, I seriously need to start writing down Spazzle’s notes about the delete button.
Anyway, you know what? I might still sue their asses. Cross-faction, sure, but hey, GOBLINS, motherfuckers. Do you have ANY idea how brutal goblin LAWYERS are? Just imagine a bunch of goblins who make the OTHER goblins go “Damn, dude, you’re seriously RUTHLESS.” That’s 100% completely without ruth. They damn well crafted themselves full sets of ruth resistance gear, and THOSE are the suits they wear into court. GOOD LUCK, bitches. Good luck.
On the other hand, that could involve more paperwork. Probably in triplicate. Ugh. Always a trade-off for everything, right?
So, food for thought. More soon.
Horde Iron Chef (part 2)
[This is usually the part where a writer would try to build in some catch-up exposition for the benefit of anyone who missed the first part, but you know what? Screw it. If you’re here at all, you’re probably on board with the idea of continuity. Nobody’s fault but your own if you’re confused! Moving on!]
LIADRIN: I wouldn’t mind trying some of that myself, Warchief.
GARROSH: Coming up.
LIADRIN: Would you like some, Salandria?
SALANDRIA: That’s okay. You can be the guinea pig for now.
While Garrosh serves up a bowl of noodles to Liadrin, Korrina and Kulkesh enter.
RUEKIE: Hi guys!
KORRINA: Hey.
KULKESH: Greetings, Captain. It’s–
Kulkesh trails off as Garrosh turns to them. He and Korrina stare for a moment.
KORRINA: Um.
KULKESH: Uh… that is… hi, sir. It’s… you really did get into the spirit of things, didn’t you, Captain…?
KORRINA: All I’m going to say is, um, you must be incredibly secure in yourself, sir…
GARROSH: Why is EVERYONE reacting like this?
SHAYARI: Would you like the reasons alphabetically, chronologically, or in order of how much they make me want to wear a bucket over my head for the next thousand years or so?
GARROSH: Okay, that’s it — NO NOODLES FOR YOU!
KULKESH: How are you feeling, Gurt?
GURTASH: Not bad. I mean, I’m still a little sore. And I’m still checking in with the healers every couple of days. But I’m pretty much recovered at this point.
KULKESH: Cool. You know, if you hadn’t come around soon, we were going to head over to Blackrock Spire and go dragon hunting ourselves.
KORRINA: Yeah, we were going to go all Wrathion on their asses.
GURTASH: Heh. I appreciate it, guys.
LIADRIN: I’m glad the healers are nearly done with your injuries, Gurtash. If you ever think it might help, I’m happy to cast a Flash of Light or two, although, granted, my areas of expertise are more in the realm of protection than healing.
MOKVAR: Too bad you weren’t with us in the Spire. We probably could have used a tank up there.
SHAYARI: Pip especially.
RUEKIE: Speaking of which, kind of, has anybody seen Mirembe?
KORRINA: She’s around here somewhere. We ran into her at one of the noodle stands.
KULKESH: I don’t know if she was going to stick around, though.
GURTASH: How come?
KORRINA: Oh, something about that Lantresor guy.
KULKESH: I think she ran into him while she was trying some food, and he made some comment about her weight, or something.
KORRINA: “Potbelly,” was it?
KULKESH: Yeah, I think so.
SHAYARI: Oh, spirits, THAT guy.
GURTASH: You know him?
SHAYARI: We’ve talked a couple times since he came to Orgrimmar. He’s a piece of work, let me tell you. Always going on and on about “oh, children of two worlds,” and “oh, we are alike, you and I,” and “you are not alone,” and “you are not alone,” and “ohh — did I mention? — you are not alone,” and I’m like, okay, I get it, I’m not alone, you’re making me wish I was, Professor YANA.
KORRINA: Old people are weird.
SALANDRIA: How old?
LIADRIN: Don’t start.
Ji enters, accompanied by Spazzle and Giska.
GARROSH: Ah, perfect, just the pudgeball I was looking for.
JI: Hello, Garrosh! Everyone!
SPAZZLE: Hey boss.
MOKVAR: Afternoon, Ji. Everything finally set up?
JI: Almost. Not quite. There’s an even better turnout than I’d expected!
SPAZZLE: Which means even more setup for us to do on the fly…
MOKVAR: How did he rope you into this anyway, Spaz?
GARROSH: Yeah, Pea Pod, I would’ve figured he’d have plenty of pandas to call in on this, seeing as, you know, this IS a panda festival.
JI: Oh, many of the Huojin have been busy working on the festival, sir. But they’ve mostly been cooking.
SPAZZLE: Which left plenty more setup work that Ji needed me to lend a hand with. At an hourly rate, anyway.
JI: Wait, you meant that? I thought you were joking!
SPAZZLE: Hey, I’ve got billing rules to follow! I’m in a union, you know!
MOKVAR: I thought it was a cartel.
SPAZZLE: We’re goblins! Same difference!
JI: But we’re friends!
SPAZZLE: Yeah, well, time is money, friend!
GARROSH: So listen, Deep Dish, you have somewhere I can set up? Probably with some space around it, for when people start flocking to get a taste of my stuff here.
Korrina, Gurtash, Kulkesh, and Giska all turn to look at Ruekie.
RUEKIE: <aside> I’m not saying anything!
KORRINA: <aside> You’re sure? You looked like you were about to say something.
RUEKIE: <aside> No no no, I’m keeping my mouth shut from now on! Every time I open my mouth, somebody sticks– hoooooo boy I almost did it again! Whew!
JI: Well, Garrosh… hmm. I still need to set up a few stations, but…
GARROSH: <pointing> What about right over here? Looks like you’ve got a couple spots.
JI: Well, yes, one of those is reserved, but I suppose you can take the other. Do you need a hand setting up?
GARROSH: Pfft, what’s there to set up?
Garrosh drops his pot on the table with a heavy thud.
OH HEY, we’ve got a cooking fire here and everything.
JI: Oh yes, several of the stations have them. Many of our participants are cooking right here on the premises!
GARROSH: Ah, nice, this way I can whip up a little MORE of this stuff, seeing as we’re probably gonna go through it pretty quick, even before we figure in Mokvar’s little pink friend.
MOKVAR: Uh, yeah, sorry about that again.
GARROSH: Actually… here.
Garrosh reaches over to Mokvar and yanks a page from his pack, sending some of his inscription gear spilling to the ground.
MOKVAR: <gathering his belongings> You know you could have just asked.
GARROSH: <scribbling on the page> Yeah, yeah, boo hoo. You two, front and center.
Korrina and Kulkesh go to Garrosh.
KULKESH: Yes, sir!
GARROSH: Giska, you too.
Giska joins them.
I assume you’re done with her now, Lunchbox.
JI: Actually, Warchief, we still–
GARROSH: My trainee, your student, I outrank you, done, boom.
JI: Oh bother…
GARROSH: <handing the paper to Giska> Okay, you three. Zip over to the market by Grommash Hold and pick up the stuff on this list for me.
KULKESH: Yes, sir!
GISKA: <scanning the list> Uh, just one thing, Captain. This looks like a lot — what do we do for money?
GARROSH: You tell the vendors you’re there on orders of the Warchief, and boy this is a nice little shop you’ve got here, and it sure would be a goddamn shame if somebody went and got blood stains all over it.
KORRINA: <clapping once and rubbing her hands together> Talkin’ my language, sir. On it!
GARROSH: Okay. Off with the lot of you.
While Giska, Korrina, and Kulkesh run off, Faranell enters, sporting a jaw that’s conspicuously mismatched with the rest of his face.
LIADRIN: Doctor! Good afternoon. You’re looking… um… well.
MOKVAR: Edwin! It’s good to see… see you… erm… you… Uh, yeah… so I guess we’ve both gone through some changes since last time I saw you, but…
SHAYARI: Difference is, Beardy, your changes get a lot less obvious once you dip into the back of your closet…
FARANELL: Ah, yes, the ideal person to comment on the current state of my appearance.
SHAYARI: Hey, it’s not my fault you don’t know how to duck fast enough, Eddie!
GARROSH: Hey, Doc, you…
Garrosh stares at Faranell a moment.
Okay, so…
Garrosh stares a moment longer.
I know I might end up regretting I asked this, but…
FARANELL: It’s a loaner. I’m just using it while my regular jaw is in the shop.
GARROSH: I… see.
MOKVAR: Gotta say, Edwin, you Forsaken have a really weird way of life sometimes.
FARANELL: Fancy that, that a community of reanimated corpses might have certain oddities in their cultural norms.
MOKVAR: Uh… right.
SALANDRIA: Wait, his… his jaw is in the shop? Did I hear that right?
LIADRIN: Yes, Dr. Faranell had a bit of an incident involving his jaw.
FARANELL: Yes, much in the same sense that Theramore had something of an incident involving the Focusing Iris.
SALANDRIA: What happened?
GARROSH: Oh geez, here we go…
FARANELL: Mana bomb.
SALANDRIA: No, not that!
GARROSH: Oh for FUCK’S sake.
SALANDRIA: I know that part! I mean your jaw!
SHAYARI: Cue the QQ. Or, you know, Q^3.
FARANELL: Suffice to say that my freshly harvested and installed jaw suffered some structural damage when I attempted to dissuade my would-be erstwhile apprentice from racing after her newly discovered father to a ruined dragon’s lair.
SHAYARI: And you know, there isn’t one single part of that sentence that would be possible if any of us led normal lives.
FARANELL: And, incidentally, just to put the button on the whole sordid affair, I am still waiting for certain reimbursements to be made.
GARROSH: Oh, for fuck’s sake. I… okay, FINE. After we’re done with the whole noodle thing here, I’ll get your damn gold. Are you fucking HAPPY now?
FARANELL: Beside myself with delirium. Bear in mind, also, that in light of the time that’s passed, certain sums of interest have accrued.
GARROSH: Fucking hell, are you kidding me? INTEREST now?!
SPAZZLE: Hey, don’t look at me. He came up with that on his own.
GARROSH: Please don’t tell me you trudged out here just to be a pain in the ass over this.
FARANELL: Oh hardly.
GARROSH: Yeah, good.
FARANELL: I’m a mage. I can teleport. I didn’t have to trudge at all.
Speaking of trudging, Malkorok returns doing just that, with Garrosh’s extra pot of noodles still in hand.
SHAYARI: Anyhow, I don’t think Eddie popped over to join the party, Pops.
Malkorok approaches Garrosh’s station and drops his pot on the counter.
MALKOROK: <aside> I’ve spoken to the guards who were charged with overseeing this area.
MOKVAR: Well, if I remember right, undead don’t really have that much of a sense of taste, so…
GARROSH: <aside> Good. What did they have to say for themselves?
MALKOROK: <aside> Very little. I’ll speak to their widows tomorrow.
SALANDRIA: Oh wow, you can’t taste anything? That must suck.
GARROSH: <aside> Yeah, send them a ham or something.
FARANELL: Not quite. We Forsaken have a sense of taste, just a muted one. It’s why I typically favor spicy foods, since the stronger flavors are more perceptible.
GARROSH: Huh. Well, in that case, Doc, you’re probably gonna like these. <spoons out a serving from his pot> These ought to have enough of a kick that you should–
Garrosh starts to hand the bowl to Faranell; as he does, Deliana unstealths and grabs it from Garrosh’s hand.
DELIANA: Another helping? Don’t mind if I do!
Deliana stealths again and vanishes.
MALKOROK: What–?!
GARROSH: Um.
MOKVAR: Don’t look at me.
GARROSH: <spinning back to Malkorok> HEY, MALK, IT SURE WOULD BE AWESOME IF WE HAD A LITTLE SECURITY IN THE FUCKING CAPITAL CITY!
MALKOROK: <grumbling> Yes, sir… I’ll be back again…
Malkorok starts to storm off, passing Mokvar.
One day you’ll be called to account for your odious taste in friends, scribe.
MOKVAR: I don’t know where you got the idea we were friends.
Malkorok grumbles more and marches off.
GARROSH: Okay, well, I’ll hook you up with another serving in a second here, Doc…
FARANELL: No need, really. I’m mainly here for work reasons.
GARROSH: Work reasons? How?
MOKVAR: You’ve known him long enough that you should probably know better than to ask that question.
FARANELL: Research, and potential sample collection. I figured that at an event like this, someone was bound to produce something usefully toxic, just by the law of averages.
GARROSH: Ah.
JI: Oh, no, Dr. Edwin, I can assure you everyone here is being very careful with their food.
FARANELL: Yes, I suppose, but one can always hope.
Faranell reaches into his cloak and produces an empty vial.
Now don’t mind me; I’m just going to hover around a bit in case someone — cross fingers — turns green.
MOKVAR: Hmph. Or turns chalky white and drops dead?
FARANELL: Touche.
GARROSH: By the way, Lunchbox, are there any kind of prizes for this shindig? Any judges who’ll be coming around that I should be looking to impress and not at all threaten with physical violence, no not at all?
JI: No, sir, no prizes. The only competition in an event like this is with oneself!
GARROSH: Yeah, I should have figured you pandas would be a little too touchy-feely for a straight-up contest.
JI: Not so! The Noodle Festival is meant to be a day of community and sharing, yes, but there’s a long Pandaren tradition of competitive cooking as well!
MOKVAR: You guys really do take your food seriously, don’t you?
SPAZZLE: You wouldn’t have to ask that if you’d been with us shopping this morning.
LIADRIN: What kind of cooking contests do you have, Ji?
JI: Well, one of our most honored customs is… well, the name doesn’t quite translate precisely, but I suppose the nearest approximation would be… “Iron Chef.” It’s a competition in which challengers are given a secret ingredient without notice and must prepare a gourmet meal with it in a limited window of time.
SPAZZLE: That actually sounds kind of cool.
MOKVAR: Spazz, you live on cheap take-out.
SPAZZLE: I know, but this has a whole mad scientist angle that I can appreciate.
FARANELL: Indeed, not to mention that rushed food preparation leaves ample room for hazardous contaminants to come into play. Not that anyone would wish for such a terrible thing, of course.
JI: Based on how well the festival is being received, perhaps we could adapt the competition for the Horde as well!
MOKVAR: Sort of a Horde Iron Chef? Or… Iron Horde Chef? Or… I don’t know, something like that, I guess.
GARROSH: I don’t know about the contest, but fuck, I LOVE the ring of “Iron Horde” — that sounds fucking BADASS, dude.
SHAYARI: Maybe you should look into rebranding, Pops.
GARROSH: MAYBE I SHOULD.
Dontrag, Utvoch, and Taktani enter, carrying boxes.
Don’t think I won’t get right on that shit and…
Dontrag et al start putting their boxes down at the station next to Garrosh.
And…
UTVOCH: Greetings, Warchief!
GARROSH: <turns to Ji> You’re fucking kidding me, right?
TAKTANI: Ooh everybody’s here! And we get to be next to Mr. Warchief! This is going to be so fun! Yay!
GARROSH: Oh fuck me…
RUEKIE: <aside> Oh, sure, he says that and nobody bats an eye…
DONTRAG: A pleasure to see you as always, your supreme Warchieferousness, sir!
GARROSH: Maybe if I don’t make eye contact they’ll assume I don’t know they’re there…
UTVOCH: Sir?
TAKTANI: Mr. Warchief?
JI: Yes, sir. <turning to Dontrag and Utvoch> Well then, Utvoch… Dontrag…
DONTRAG: I’m Dontrag. He’s Utvoch.
UTVOCH: Oh man. I knew I should have brought the letter…
JI: Oh. Okay. Well, your cooking station is ready. I’m looking forward to finding out what you’re making for us!
DONTRAG: Yeah, so are we.
JI: Pardon?
UTVOCH: Well, we don’t really have a recipe that we’re using.
JI: Oh…?
MOKVAR: Uh oh…
DONTRAG: We don’t know any noodle recipes, so we figured we’d just grab a bunch of ingredients and see what we could come up with on the fly!
GARROSH: Yeah, I don’t see any way that this could go wrong…
FARANELL: Now now, let’s not be hasty. I may be about to hit pay dirt.
TAKTANI: Oh hiiiiii Dr. Zombie!
FARANELL: Oh dear.
TAKTANI: I’m super happy to see you again!
Shayari giggles.
MOKVAR: Wait, she knows Edwin?
LIADRIN: I believe she met him a time or two when I first accompanied Shayari to Orgrimmar.
MOKVAR: And I missed this?
SHAYARI: I might possibly have maybe brought her with me a couple weeks ago when I went to the Undercity for a mage lesson, too. Possibly.
GARROSH: Oh, yeah, piss off the creditor even more.
TAKTANI: It was fun! I like Zombie Town! It’s kind of stinky, but that’s okay — it’s like a big haunted house! BOO! Hee hee!
SHAYARI: Kind of like it’s Hallow’s End all the time, right, Tak?
TAKTANI: I knowwwwww!
FARANELL: Must you encourage her?
GARROSH: Right there with you, Doc…
TAKTANI: Ooh! Ooh! Do you do Hallow’s End costumes in Zombie Town, Dr. Zombie? What are you going to be this year??
FARANELL: Far, far, away, Dark Lady permitting.
TAKTANI: Oh. <scratches her head> I don’t know what that looks like, but I bet it’ll be fun!
SHAYARI: You’ll have to go with me again so you can see, Tak!
TAKTANI: Yay! I get to come visit again! Won’t that be fun, Dr. Zombie?
FARANELL: Oh yes. My heart is utterly overflowing with joy.
TAKTANI: Yay! Hee hee!
FARANELL: Or possibly infectious bile. It’s hard to tell. My heart hasn’t beaten in over a decade, after all.
TAKTANI: <blinks> Huh?
FARANELL: Nothing to trouble yourself over. Just think of my heart as you would, say, your brain.
GARROSH: Lot of that going around with this crew, Doc.
DONTRAG: I don’t get it.
GARROSH: Case in point.
FARANELL: Indeed.
Giska, Korrina, and Kulkesh return with several large packages, which they put down at Garrosh’s station.
KULKESH: Good news, sir — Olvia just got some fresh talbuk steaks in.
GARROSH: <sorting through packages> Good deal. You kids get everything?
KORRINA: I think so, Captain. The vendors kind of fumbled their way through the whole order.
GISKA: Maybe next time don’t start breaking fingers right away?
KORRINA: Maybe next time mofos don’t get lippy.
GARROSH: Yeah, well, here, now that you’ve all earned your keep, have some grub.
Garrosh passes bowls of noodles to Giska, Korrina, and Kulkesh.
GISKA: Thanks, Captain!
KULKESH: Smells good, sir.
LIADRIN: I must say, Garrosh, I’m surprised — these are quite good.
GARROSH: Why is everyone always shocked out of their minds any time they find out I can do something other than punch people and scratch my ass?
MOKVAR: To be fair, you don’t exactly project complexity…
LIADRIN: You said these were a family recipe, Warchief?
GISKA: They’re not bad, Captain.
GARROSH: Kind of. I sort of improvised around something Greatmother used to make back in Nagrand.
LIADRIN: Did she teach you?
GARROSH: Not really, I just — what’s with you, Korrina? Something wrong with your food?
KORRINA: Uh, not really, sir. <poking awkwardly at her noodles with chopsticks> I mean, they look good, and they smell good… I’ll let you know how they taste once I figure out how to use these damn things.
KULKESH: They’re a little awkward at first, yeah, but they’re not so bad once you get used to them.
SHAYARI: <reaching back and adjusting the chopsticks in her hair> Oh, hey, is that what these things are supposed to be for? I was wondering why they were giving them out.
Korrina starts to pick up some noodles with her chopsticks, only to have them slip loose and drop back into her bowl.
KORRINA: Ugh — yeah, this isn’t so bad at all…
GISKA: No no, try like this… see, you keep one of them balanced against your thumb, and…
Korrina takes another stab at her food with the chopsticks, but loses her grip, sending one chopstick — and most of the noodles she was picking up — spilling onto the ground.
KORRINA: Dammit! <throws her other chopstick down> Oh hell with it…
Korrina reaches over to Ruekie and snaps one of the ornamental forks off of her shoulder guards, then uses it to pick up some noodles.
RUEKIE: Hey!
KORRINA: There.
RUEKIE: Aw, man…
DONTRAG: Uh, Ut, what did you put into those?
UTVOCH: Huh? I didn’t put anything. I just cooked the noodles.
DONTRAG: But they’re all gooey or something.
TAKTANI: That was me, Mr. D!
UTVOCH: You added something? What did you put in there?
TAKTANI: Cheese!
DONTRAG: Wait, what? Cheese doesn’t… I mean, how does that even work?
TAKTANI: <blinks> Um… I like cheese!
UTVOCH: You know, this doesn’t smell half bad…
TAKTANI: So noodles are good, and cheese is good, so now they can all be good together!
DONTRAG: Tak, you can’t just… I mean, who puts cheese in noodles?
TAKTANI: I’d take it out if you want, Mr. D, but it’s all melty now!
UTVOCH: It actually smells pretty good…
DONTRAG: Noodles and cheese? Really?
UTVOCH: <eating some of the noodles> Donty, seriously, try some of this…
TAKTANI: Do you like it? Yay!
KULKESH: Hey, you know, that does smell pretty good over there…
While Kulkesh, Korrina, and Giska make their way over to Dontrag and Utvoch’s station, Malkorok returns.
MALKOROK: I’ve put additional patrols around the gates, Warchief. It would of course be easier if so many of these… people… weren’t wandering around, but it should suffice for now.
GARROSH: Yeah, well, we can’t exactly barricade off half the city.
MALKOROK: Yes, sir.
KULKESH: Oh wow, this really does taste good!
GISKA: Noodles and cheese — who would’ve guessed?
Ji leans over Dontrag, Utvoch, and Taktani’s pot while Gurtash, Ruekie, and Salandria gather around.
JI: <sniffing> Ooh, a triumphant culinary experiment, I see! Don’t mind if I try some myself…
Ji reaches over Dontrag’s shoulder and scoops some noodles into his (cartoonishly oversized) bowl.
GARROSH: What the… does that crap even have any damn MEAT in it?
TAKTANI: Oh don’t worry, Mr. Warchief! Nobody had to hurt any poor animals for this!
GARROSH: For fuck’s sake, the murder’s the tastiest part!
MOKVAR: I don’t know, boss, looks like they’re starting to draw a following.
Spazzle eyes the passersby who have started to gather around D&U&T’s station, then leans up to try to peek in their pot.
SPAZZLE: Huh… Uh, Tak?
TAKTANI: Hi, Mr. Goblin!
SPAZZLE: Uh, yeah, hi. So… what kind of cheese did you put in there?
TAKTANI: Oh, nothing fancy, Mr. Goblin. Just regular old cheddar!
SPAZZLE: Huh… that stuff barely costs a few silver…
TAKTANI: We could use another kind if you’d like it more!
SPAZZLE: No, it’s not that, just… Uh, Utvoch? Aren’t those noodles the kind they have in those little packets from Pandaria?
UTVOCH: Oh, yeah, that’s why I got them. They’re crazy cheap — they’re only something like eight copper a pack, so you can get a ton of them and barely spend anything.
SPAZZLE: Yeah, uh, that’s what I thought.
Spazzle looks at the growing line, then thinks a moment.
So… how would you guys feel about a business venture…?
UTVOCH: Uh… maybe?
GARROSH: Okay, fuck it, I have to see what the big fucking deal is with this crap.
Garrosh shoves Utvoch out of the way and scoops some of the noodles and cheese into a bowl.
It doesn’t even SMELL like anything special, I don’t know why there’s people coming out of the damn woodwork to–
Deliana unstealths and lifts the bowl out of Garrosh’s hands.
DELIANA: Oh, you need a taste tester? Sure thing, Garry!
Deliana stealths again and disappears.
GARROSH: <spinning back to Malkorok> WHAT AM I PAYING YOU FOR?!
So, you know. That went about as well as anything else I fucking try to do around here. I really might have to look into that “Iron Horde” thing, though. It seriously does sound fucking badass.
More soon.
Monday mailbag
Another mailbag, another chance for someone to annoy the living daylights out of me. So let’s get right to it and see what’s going to piss me off this time around…
Man, am I glad to be done with my tour in Outland. Nagrand was beautiful and all, but Netherstorm had too many whiny elves and weird bandage guys. And it was too purple. Way too purple. It was good to return to Orgrimmar for a while, and even better to see the place finished! Guess you showed those goblin contractors, huh?
Of course, being home was good and all, but what the fuuuuhhhc-flip happened to Gurtash?! THIS IS WHY HAVING A MEATSHIELD IS A VERY GOOD IDEA! YOU KNOW, LIKE ME? It was good to see him, and the others in the DPS for a little while anyway (even if Gurtash was unconscious the whole time). I still can’t believe I missed him waking up, too! I wish that transport to Northrend came a few days later.
Anyway, you can probably guess where I am now, and even at your old command post! I can’t believe I got to meet THE Saurfang! He’s…not as tall as I thought he’d be, but that’s okay! I still met him and he shook my hand and *the letter goes on a bit in hastily scribbled and barely-decipherable fangirling*. Oh! He did seem kinda grumpy when I brought up that I was in your training group. What’s the deal with that, anyway?
I hope that things stay quiet while I’m up here. And if I’m needed for, like, tanky things, please please PLEASE tell me! The DPS can’t wait forever for a tank, right?
–Mirembe
Hoo boy. Here we go with a new spastic fangirl flipping the hell out because she met Saurfang. I’m not kidding, Mira, you should talk to Ruekie sometime. You two could start a club or something. You could be president, Rook could be vice-president. Or vice versa. Hell, Mokvar could probably be freaking treasurer. You could have your own secret handshake and everything. Although that would probably just consist of one of you saying “Saurfang!” and then the other one would be like “I know!” and then you both just flail and squeal for six minutes.
And you know, you’re right about the whole tanky thing, but dude, don’t act like I’M the one holding up the works. The whole reason the DPS is “waiting” on a tank is because the TANK is keeping them waiting while she gets her field training caught up to where they are! What’s next? Are you going to keep them waiting some more, then show up and be like, oh, oops, I need to run back to town and see a blacksmith because my armor’s all banged up and I didn’t think to take care of that before I came out here? Or maybe you can show up and go racing through the mission site as if there’s an outhouse at the end of it and OH MAN did you have an extra-potent heaping helping of chili for dinner. Is that what they get to look forward to?
So, yeah, punch line: STOP YAPPING AND GET YOUR SHIT IN GEAR, DAMMIT.
On the plus side, even though you missed it, Gurtash IS up and doing better. The healers are going to need to check on him for a little while, but he should be okay. UNTIL NEXT TIME. MAYBE SOME TANK SHOULD FINISH HER TRAINING LEVELS BEFORE THEN. TICK TOCK, TICK TOCK.
I’d like a package of all the blue crayons for myself, and one pack of nothin’ bu da the “trolls be trollin'” for Bob. I’d been wondering what ta get him as a present for an upcoming event, and it turn out I be saved by Garrosh’s mail bag.
–Alayea
Huh. Gotta admit, I wasn’t expecting people to jump on the crayon bandwagon so quickly, but what the hell, merchandising cash is merchandising cash. So you know what, Alayea? You’re on. One package of blues, and… oh, why not? Here, on top of the blue crayons I showed off last mailbag, go ahead and take a few bonus shades:
There you go. As for the “trolls be trollin’” pack… well, okay, I’ll send them, but I’m going to warn you: when you get that package, don’t touch it with your bare hands. Seeing as I know it’s going to that Bob guy, I might possibly have to see about Faranell doing… something special with those crayons before I send them out. Or failing that, mix in a little, ahem, gift from Mortimer. Or both. I’ll improvise something. Because fuck that Bob guy.
Anyhow, crayons on the way. Apparently this merchandising thing might bring in a few gold after all. Who knew WCB crayons would be the thing to take off? Hell, what else could I cash in on? Kafa mugs? T-shirts? Hey, how about a nice Warchief-approved bumper sticker for your chopper or whatever? Here, have at it:
Hell, maybe I should let Spazzle put those action figures of his into production after all. Maybe giving people the chance to own their very own miniature plastic ME would get the gold pouring on in. (Dammit, I should probably rephrase that last part. Garona’s probably gonna get all excited now. FUCK, where’s the delete key again?!)
It’s good to hear that Grimjaw has settled in well at the stables. Whatever task you have in store for him, I hope he serves you well.
In response to your question about my children, they are aware of the trainee program, but my daughter is only 8 years old, so I’m not sure she’s ready for that, and my son has no interest in it. He’s been practising his axe-skills for some time now and is riding Blackfang daily to bond with her before he faces his om’riggor. He’s proclaimed he’s going to become a mounted warrior and follow his Thunderlord heritage. I’ve tried telling him several times that mounted combat is actually a Warsong tradition and if he really wants to follow his clan traditions he should take up the spear and become a hunter, but he won’t listen to me. Whenever I point this out to him he just grunts and says, “My strength would be wasted on hunting beasts when the animals who killed mother still walk free.” It worries me that he’ll get himself killed trying to hunt down Detanga’s killers.
At least my daughter has taken a less violent path. I was able to talk her into walking the path of restoration magic, and now she’s an apprentice of a shaman trainer in the Valley of Wisdom, Kardris Dreamseeker. She recently mentioned helping her teacher care for Gurtash, a boy from your trainee program who was grievously wounded in battle – on which subject, my condolences, Warchief – and how she’s been having some small conversations with him to pass the time. While he still has a great deal of healing ahead of him, I’m sure he will be fine.
I wish that was all the news I had, but unfortunately I have more news to report of Golmash and his strange green eyes. It seems I was right to suspect something – his behaviour has become more noticably erratic. When my son and I give them meat for food, Golmash is very discerning; where most wolves would simply eat the meat as it was, he refuses to eat anything except the softest part of the meat. I constantly find him gazing blankly outside the wolfpen, refusing to be with or socialise with the other wolves. On one very strange occasion, I was about to sell a fine young Nagrandeur wolf to a rather darkly-dressed shaman when Golmash came up behind me and growled loudly. The most bizarre part, Warchief, is that the growling was… layered. Otherworldy. Like listening to my daughter playing around in her ghost wolf form. Suffice it to say,the shaman left in a hurry. I attempted to reprimand him but he bared his fangs and took a stance that looked ready to lunge at my throat; I didn’t live this long by taking foolish risks, so I let him go back to the other wolves.
Warchief, I am now thoroughly concerned. I’ve had him looked at and examined by vets, shamans, mages and trained medics and no one can seem to pick up a reason for his behaviour. No sickness, no disease, no curse – there is no logical reason whatsoever. I almost laughed at the idea that the wolf Skychaser and Ner’zhul by proxy had something to do with all this… now, I’m not so sure I should laugh about it.
My apologies, Warchief. I fear I really have drawn your grandfather’s name into a dark and uncertain situation.
–Ogunaro Wolfrunner, Kennel Master
Hey, Ogunaro, good to hear from you again. So, a few points for you. A quick one first — I should have an update for you on Grimjaw soon. As I’ve mentioned, I’ve looked in on him a few times at the Kor’kron stables, and he seems to be settled in pretty well. Still seems like he has a little growing to do, but he’s a young wolf, as you’ve said, and he’s already stronger than a lot of others that are already full-sized. All of which adds up to an overall bright future for him. Again… updates on him soon.
Now, as for our OTHER wolf situation… Yeah, I don’t like the sound of this at all. Like…at ALL. I can’t say I’ve got any solid answers right now, but there’s definitely something fishy going on with this worg. So, here’s our starting point: right off, I want you to isolate Golmash. Keep him in a separate pen that will give him plenty of room to move around and do his normal wolfy things, but will also keep him completely separate from the other wolves. Until we know for sure what’s behind all this, I don’t want to take any chances with the others — whether it’s Golmash getting riled up and attacking them, or somehow spreading whatever it is that’s affecting him. I know you said you couldn’t find any diseases or curses or whatever, but there’s obviously SOMETHING happening with this wolf, so until we know for sure what it is, I don’t want to rule ANYTHING out. Matter of fact, just to be safe, I’m going to send a couple Kor’kron beastmasters over to give a hand moving him. I’m sure you’re plenty capable, Ogunaro, but it doesn’t hurt to have a couple other people who know a thing or two about animals on hand to help keep you covered.
So that’s step one. As for step two, for your purposes it’s going to consist mostly of holding tight for the time being. I’m going to see about sending someone over to have another look at Golmash. I know you said you’ve already had him examined by healers and shaman and so forth, but the person I have in mind has a pretty particular set of skills and experience that might be kind of useful in this case. So, hold down the fort and help should be on the way soon. We’ll get to the bottom of this one way or another.
Okay, so, now that that’s covered, on to one last item: your son and his om’riggor preparations and whatnot. So, just so I’m clear here… how old is your son? The reason I ask is because, well, you said that he “has no interest” in the military trainee program, and that’s all well and good… but the program isn’t exactly voluntary. When we put it into effect some months ago, the whole point of it was to recruit all able-bodied orcs aged fourteen and up. Well, up to seventeen, technically, but past that age I would figure they would already have passed their om’riggor and be out serving the Horde in some capacity. Anyhow, I don’t know if you just never got the memo about this, or maybe the notification wasn’t clear enough, in which case, yeesh, someone must have really dropped the ball writing it up, which means now I need to go crack down on some motherfuckers over in the public relations department. Which means I need to go find out if we have a public relations department. Goddamn, being Warchief is a lot of work. ANYHOW.
Point is, interested or not, chances are your son should already BE in the trainee program. But, before you start flipping out and panicking, I think this might actually be a blessing in disguise. You say your son’s hell-bent on avenging his mother’s death, but you’re worried he might run off and do something foolhardy. Well, here’s a win-win situation for everyone: you can pitch the whole trainee gig as a way for him to hone his skills so he’ll be that much MORE ready to kick some Alliance ass… but at the same time, he’ll be under the direct supervision of a veteran Horde soldier. Which means, he’ll always be under the watchful eye of someone who’s been around long enough to know the difference between seizing glory and courting disaster. No going off the radar, no reckless suicide missions, no surprises. And then, when he’s ready — really ready — he’ll get that chance to make the Alliance pay.
In the meantime, too, I can see about getting him into a group with a Thunderlord veteran. If you want. That way, he can get some exposure to traditional Thunderlord combat methods, work on his spear work and hunting prowess, that sort of thing. Not that you’re not perfectly capable of teaching him yourself, Ogunaro, but he might be a little more receptive if it’s coming from a fresh voice. Failing that, if he’s really got his heart set on mounted combat, I can see about getting him some Warsong supervision. That last option would be easy enough for me to swing, seeing as how I kinda have a smidgen of influence in that particular clan.
I have a question for you about Orc physiology! I’ve noticed that many Orcs such as yourself don’t have eyebrows. While others, like Garona or Gurtash do. Is there a reason for this? Are eyebrows a genetic trait that some Orcs have, and others don’t? Is eyebrow plucking simply a fashionable thing among many Orcs?
Your ever curious reader,
–Tandeleina, Silvermoon City
Curious about orc physiology, huh, Tandeleina? Is that what you’re calling it these days? Okay. I’ll buy that.
I’m just gonna leave this here: #TheLadiesLoveGarrosh.
Now, to answer your question.
You know, I actually hear this all the time, and it’s really not that hard to put together if you pay attention. You’re right, some orcs have eyebrows and some don’t. But if you look closely, there’s a much clearer pattern to it. See, all orcs have eyebrows as children. Just drop by the Orgrimmar orphanage, or, hell, check any of Gurtash’s drawings of the DPS trainees. Once they reach adolescence, though, male orcs start to lose their eyebrows. It usually corresponds with the appearance of facial hair — the beard starts coming in, and the eyebrows start thinning out. Don’t ask me to explain what’s different between eyebrow follicles and beard follicles, but there you go. Case in point, actually, is Kulkesh from the DPS. He’s starting to get some stubble, and if you take a close look at him, you can see he’s also starting to lose his eyebrows. Eventually the same will happen to Gurtash. Orc women, on the other hand, don’t lose their eyebrows. They keep them all their lives. It’s only adult orc men who don’t have them.
As for why it works out this way, I’m guessing it has something to do with the changes in male orc body chemistry during puberty. Smart money says it’s the increase in testosterone that happens when we go from adolescence to adulthood. So testosterone causes orcs to lose their eyebrows. There you go.
And so, with that in mind, before anyone else chimes in to ask…
I mean, you do the math. I’m just the messenger here. Science doesn’t lie, bitches.
That’s going to do it for this time around. Before I wrap up, though, one last note: Looks like we’ve got a bunch of people taking an interest in Gurtash. Which I guess isn’t surprising, what with the not-completely-low-grade freakout people had when that spectral assassin first smacked him down. But here, I’ve got an idea. Gurtash is still going to be resting up for a few days at least, maybe longer, while the healers make sure he’s fully recovered and good to go. So he could probably use a little something to distract himself with. SO, how about this — since that guest mailbag that Shayari did a few weeks back went over pretty well, let’s give the kid one of his own. This way you people can pass along your well-wishes and ask him whatever you want, directly. So get your letters for Gurtash to me over the next few days, then I’ll put up a BONUS mailbag with his responses.
Hmm. Does that mean I’m going to need to pick out a text color for HIM now? Fuck, I just keep making more work for myself. Mostly for Gurtash, granted, but also for me. Dammit.
[Garrosh’s next mailbag will be Monday, January 4. But in the interim, as the Warchief just promised, we’ll also have a GUEST mailbag featuring letters to Gurtash next Monday, December 28. Get those letters in ASAP! (And please make clear whether you’re writing to Gurtash or Garrosh.) As always, use the email link in the right sidebar, or fill in the handy form below!]
Spazzle Speaks: Refer a Friend
Things have been quiet for a few days, thank goodness. Garrosh has been busy with whatever he does in Grommash Hold. Mokvar has been busy down in Ragefire Chasm. Ji’s been busy with…well, I’m not really sure what Ji’s been busy with, but I figure he must be busy, since he hasn’t raided my fridge in a while. So as long as he’s doing okay I guess that’s a good thing.
Anyhow, all the quiet time just means I have some free time to spend gaming.
You have logged on.
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] So its like a patch
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] YAH
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey Spazzle
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] well, kind of
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] but different
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good afternoon, Spazzle
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] hi mbc
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] How
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] BIGGER PRETTY MUCH
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey gayle
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea, much much bigger, plus the expansions are when they make all the big changes to things
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] What kinds of things
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey everyone
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] gaahh!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] new abilities for your class
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] or sometimes they revise how your class works
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] HI MR
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] so close!
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] And usually break it.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] so what’s been going on?
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Hello MrBadCrumble
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Not terribly much, really.
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] MORE LEVELS TOO
[Guild][MargoLane] not really, guys, but it’s ok
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea that too bart
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] A friend of Mokvar’s just joined the guild.
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Oh no I hope they dont break mine
[Guild][MargoLane] let’s just start it up again
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] She’s running something with…well, the braintrust.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ok
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I take it everyone’s heard?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh cool
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Don’t even get me started on how badly they messed up my recipes when they introduced Lactose Intolerance.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I wouldn’t worry about that, red
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i’m starting it
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] More levels??
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] About the expansion? Yes.
You whispered to [Bartleby | Mokvar]: a friend of yours?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I think they said they were getting rid of that next expansion
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] You’re still learning your class so it probably won’t be too big of a change
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Everyone’s been talking about it off and on as the information has come out.
You whispered to [Bartleby | Mokvar]: who’s that?
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh thank the spirits.
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] YAH THE NEW MAX LEVEL IS GOING TO BE 70
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] 70???
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah I’ve been streaming the coverage in the background
[Bartleby | Mokvar] whispered: Who do you think?
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] THAT’S WHAT THEY SAID
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] But I havent gotten to 60 yet!
You whispered to [Bartleby | Mokvar]: lol
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] I’m surprised you didn’t go to EarthCon this year, actually, Spaz.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] don’t worry, red, you still have plenty of time
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] the expansion won’t be for months yet
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Oh okay
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] eh, well, those zep tickets aren’t cheap
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] probably longer
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] YAH IT’S NOT GOING TO BE ANY TIME SOON
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] besides, when tickets were going on sale, I was kinda busy with more important things
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] like trying to figure out if my friend was actually dead
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] They didn’t say when it’s going to be
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Right
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged on.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] “soon”
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Um, sorry
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] SOON
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] “Soon”™
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re NOT dead
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] And that’s not
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Greetings, dear Warchief.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] just, y’know… earthcon!
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Well
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Soon?
You whispered to [MargoLane]: so, I guess I know you?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] No.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] nope
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Huh. What’s soon?
[MargoLane] whispered: lol, hi spazzle
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey, boss.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] not usually
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] hi pwn
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] This game is very confusing at times
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh hey boss
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] HELLO OMGIPWNEDURFACE
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] new expansion
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Didn’t you say you had some meeting in Azshara today, Garrosh?
You whispered to [MargoLane]: keeping an eye on Mokvar here too? hehe
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WOW THATS HARD TO TYPE
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] LOL
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh shit, they announced it?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The new expansion?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] huh? what’s in azshara?
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] YAH
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea, they did the announcement this morning
[MargoLane] whispered: eh, mostly just a way to pass the time
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh come now, Spazzle, you of all people should know what’s in Azshara.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] info’s been leaking out little by little all day
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Damn, I missed it
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Considering how much of it your kin have blown up.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So what’s it going to be?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey hey hey
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] okay yeah alright
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] TIME TRAVEL
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] at least we don’t make places glow green when we move in :-/
[MargoLane] whispered: plus from the way mok talks about them, it sounds like dontrag and utvoch can use as much help with their cashiering as they can get
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] “back to the future”
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] It seems like a Caverns of Time inspired story
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I suspect that several irradiated former lab sites would beg to differ.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah yeah fine
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …What?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] I THOUGHT OF THAT TOO RED
You whispered to [MargoLane]: what are you doing with them?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] i know, right?
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Do you suppose they consulted with Nozdormu about it
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So hang on, are they screwing with me or what?
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] IDK
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Nope.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] but anyway, that’s why I was wondering
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Time travel
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The fuck?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I had much the same reaction at first, to be honest, Warchief.
[MargoLane] whispered: just taking them through some trade school scenarios and giving them pointers
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fucking hell…
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] so I guess the way it’s going to work
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] if you were going to azshara, maybe I know some people up there
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] is we’re going to go back in time to key moments in earth history
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] I think it’ll be pretty interesting to see some of those events we’ve been hearing about
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] not sure yet if we’re trying to change what happens
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, maybe, I wanted to keep this fairly hush hush until I saw how things were going to go
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] or, yea, if we’re doing the noz thing
You whispered to [MargoLane]: how’s it coming along?
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] dammit
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WHAT DO YOU MEAN
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] LOL
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ugggghhhhh
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you know
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, it’s official
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] I just mean all the lore events that we read about in the quests
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea, what she said
[MargoLane] whispered: slowly
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] How what was going to go?
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] NOZ
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] They are seriously running out of ideas
[Guild][MargoLane] ok ok come on you two
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Or in those books that you can click on to read more about the world
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you know, like
[Guild][MargoLane] another try
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] LOL HE HATES WHEN PEOPLE CALL HIM THAT
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, clandestine undertakings. How intriguing!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] the world wars
You whispered to [MargoLane]: haha, well good luck
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Ahem, Honalee…
[Guild][MargoLane] let’s try actually using the register this time
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] the french revolution
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] the fall of rome
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fucking time travel…
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Intriguing primarily, of course, because I would know nothing of such things.
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] OH
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ok good idea
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] that kind of thing
[MargoLane] whispered: lol thanks
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] I MEAN SO I’VE HEARD
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] huh, that reminds me, I still need to find one more of those books for the achievement
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m meeting with a goblin engineer who might start working on improving the ol’ arsenal
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] OH WOW YOU READ THOSE
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] huh, who is it? I might know them
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] You dont
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] NO
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So is it those three events specifically, or what?
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] How’s it looking?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Good so far
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Do you mean the books or the quests
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] EITHER
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] they said there were a bunch of events we were going to interact with
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] He already has some preliminary designs that he could rework for our purposes pretty easily
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] those were just a few examples
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Are you going back to meet with him again?
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] You don’t read the quests
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Really
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] they said there were going to be others
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] LOL NO
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No, I think I’m going to get everything wrapped up while I’m here
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh, you’re still up there?
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Arent you supposed to
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What are we supposed to be doing, though?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] how are you getting online?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m connecting from Blackfuse’s place
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] NOT REALLY YOU JUST NEED TO KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR THE QUEST
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] He’s got a really sweet gaming setup here
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] that’s what I’m trying to figure out
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh nice.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] wait, blackfuse?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] they haven’t made it very clear
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Wouldn’t we have to be trying to preserve history, if it’s based on the Caverns of Time
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] well
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] He’s got this whole underground headquarters under the mountains with computer equipment like you wouldn’t believe
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] we don’t know if that’s what they’re going for, though
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] THAT WOULD BE PRETTY WEIRD OTHERWISE
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, that’s him
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] blackfuse as in HELIX blackfuse?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, that would be pretty damn lame if they try to build an expansion out of us going back in time and changing history
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Goodness, a subterranean lair within which all manner of unspeakable endeavors might secretly be pursued? What -will- they think of next.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I agree pwn but you never know
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wtf
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] You’d be surprised.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You know him?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] dammit this thing cheats
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] If we change history though wouldn’t that undo what our characters are doing now
[MargoLane] whispered: fyi, your friends are idiots
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] you’re hiring him?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Did you just nod off the last few minutes and miss the whole conversation?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] see that’s exactly what I’m trying to figure out, red
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yes, I’m hiring him
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I mean, I’m not sure what they’re going to do either way
[Guild][MargoLane] it’s okay, guys, we’ll try some more tomorrow
You whispered to [MargoLane]: you need to be more specific
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] because if we change history, how do they get around undoing everything that’s happened since
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: boss, you really really don’t want to
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok thanks
[Guild][MargoLane] read those links i gave you
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] One word of advice, boss, try not to let him talk you into a payment plan
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: for real
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] unless they set it up somehow so that changing the past doesn’t change the present
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] The interest is where they really get you.
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] And then what would even be the point
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: And I don’t want to, because…?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] right exactly
[Guild][MargoLane] meanwhile i think i’m going to log
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] All I’m gonna say about this, for the last time
[MargoLane] whispered: lol
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] but then also if we go back and have to change things
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: I know he’s probably rolling out some really impressive-looking tech, and he’s definitely crazy smart, but believe me, you don’t want to get mixed up with him
[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged on.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] well they only change because we went back, right?
[Guild][MargoLane] i need a drink
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Right
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] k bye margo
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] is FUCKING TIME TRAVEL
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] but then we get back to the present and we don’t have a reason to go back anymore
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] and thanks
[MargoLane] has logged off.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] so we don’t go back
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] and then things happen the way they did originally because we weren’t there
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Right, see, I’m still waiting on the WHY part of all this
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] and so now we DO need to go back
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WOW
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: because he’s not just crazy smart
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] …
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] and in that case, aren’t we just getting ourselves stuck in a loop?
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: he’s CRAZY
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] THIS IS GETTING REALLY DEEP
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wait wut
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] where we just keep going around over and over having to redo the same things
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Yeah, well, look, inventors are supposed to be a little eccentric
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] um
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] It is Honalee but I think it’s pretty interesting
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: The whole mad scientist type
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] just to keep time from breaking apart or whatever
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh hey that sounds familiar somehow
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] all right then. check please.
[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged off.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] do you rememeber that doc
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: You’ve got a little dose of that yourself, I’ll have you know
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh crap he logged
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] YOUR PROBABLY THINKING ABOUT THIS WAY TOO MUCH
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea I probably am
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh geez ut are you going on about that again
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well well, it appears that the wonder twins are back.
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: garrosh I’m serious
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i mean steve
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Which means it is, as the ogre would say, time for fun.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I mean I guess they can do what they want, it’s not like it’s real life
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Uh oh, here we go.
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Still it would be nice if they tried to have it make sense
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, don’t hold your breath on that from the look of this
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: I know you don’t usually listen to me about policy decisions and yeah it’s not really my area, but just this time please listen to me
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea, I guess we’ll see
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] ^_^
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] ANYHOW I NEED TO GO
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yeah gil i told you before
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Dude what’s up with you about this guy
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] it really happened like i said
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] SEE EVERYONE SOON
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Bye Honalee
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] later puff
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: What, did he wrinkle one of your damn comic books or something?
[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] has logged off.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, are you two done with your training scenarios? You completed them triumphantly and have your shiny new name badges, I trust?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh and one other feature they were talking about
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: he’s not stable
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Um, have you not seen the people I’ve got surrounding me
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] no, it didn’t go so good
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I guess at endgame you get to go back to ancient egypt and build your own pyramid
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: no no no I don’t mean like neurotic unstable
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] and gather followers there
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, I see.
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] That doesn’t sound very much like preserving the integrity of history
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh geez, just what I need
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s a shame.
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: blackfuse is brilliant but he’s honest-to-physics DANGEROUS
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yea it kind asucks
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol yea i know
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Like I don’t have a hard enough time dealing with my student minions already
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] could be interesting, though
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Now I get to deal with more?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You see, gentlemen, I was so hoping that you might earn your name tags and by so doing settle the nagging question that has vexed us lo these many months.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you know, I bet they’re going to base it on the teacher mechanic, too
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: back in kezan even gallywix knew to give him a wide berth
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] like the way you give assignments
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Ugh, don’t remind me. I’m trying to give out my daily homework now
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] wait what?
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] no no, see we need to get a high score to pass, now a low one
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Having to do it all individually is a huge pain
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i don’t think that’s what she means gil
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I don’t know why they don’t just set it up so I can click on my teacher desk or something and hand out all the assignments at once
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Not to intrude on your gameplay, Warchief
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] well what do you think it is
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Dude, Gallywix gives EVERYONE a wide berth
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But I believe there’s an addon you can use for those assignments.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i don’t know
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I don’t know
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lol jinx
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Have you not seen him? Motherfucker is huge, in a not-tall way
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] something about a question
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, I know
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I mean, yea, it would be convenient if you could click on a table and do it that way
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yea but what question?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I use it, normally
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] well thats a question
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I bet that would get pretty tedious after a few weeks though
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yeah that’s A question but i don’t think it’s THE question
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I just don’t have any of my usual addons since I’m not on my own computer here
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: wait
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] whats the difference
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ah, I see.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] donty you idiot
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: you’re not on your laptop?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] one’s with a and one’s with the
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] duh
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: No
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I would imagine that would leave you feeling a bit out of sorts.
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: how are you online then?
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] so um
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: I told you, I’m connecting from Blackfuse’s place
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: I’m on his computer
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, very well, gentlemen, i’ll spare you your coy maneuvering and lay my cards on the table.
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: um…
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] wait we’re playing cards?
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: so I’ve been saying…
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i thought this was EO
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: you’re logged onto…
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: frak
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] The pertinent question to which I allude is, of course, the ongoing mystery of which of you is Dontrag, and which one is Utvoch.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] okay sorry to be abrupt everybody but I really need to log off
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] wait that’s still a mystery?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] like right right now
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Later, Spaz
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] dammit ut did you lose the letter from overlord cliffwalker again
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I’ll talk to everyone later
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I hope
You have logged off.
So yeah, not to be rude to you folks, too, but I need to wrap this up fast. I’ve got hacking to do. Like, a lot of it. Pronto. Time is money!
And…survival!
CLICK!
Divided Loyalties
Since I’ve been back in Orgrimmar, I’ve been kept so busy most days that I’ve hardly had time to stop, catch my breath, and really get back to the normal, mundane business of everyday life. It hasn’t just been the meetings with Garrosh, or the time spent in Ragefire Chasm with Overseer Elaglo or the Cleft of Shadow with Neeru. (Who hasn’t gotten any less coolly unsettling, by the way.) The biggest time sink has been getting my life back together in tangible terms. I suppose most people never need to worry about the practical ramifications of their own deaths, but believe me, when you’re exiled, then declared dead, getting all of that backtracked and your life out of mothballs is a giant pain. Honestly, I used to chuckle at Garrosh getting all irritable over paperwork and triplicate forms. Never again.
In retrospect, it’s a little ironic that Neeru mentioned the other day how unlikely he thought it would be for me to hide the Nether Prism at my house, where someone could break in and steal it. I don’t know if there’s anyplace in Orgrimmar that would have been MORE secure; at that point, my old place was still sealed up under Kor’kron security orders. Any rogue this side of Garona would have had an easier time stealthing into Orgrimmar than breaking into my place. After returning to town, I ended up spending more time cutting through red tape than anything else – getting my house unlocked, my old stuff pulled from storage and returned, my name removed from death records all over the place… Although, honestly, if the tax office wants to go on thinking I’m dead, I probably won’t complain about that one.
Still, all the time I’ve had to spend getting my life back together, combined with all the time spent meeting with the people I’ve needed to, means that until now I haven’t had much time to get caught up with some of the people I’ve wanted to.
JI: Oh… so… are we not having lunch?
SPAZZLE: Uh oh. Here we go…
MOKVAR: Lunch? Well, no, I hadn’t really… Are you hungry?
SPAZZLE: Wow, you really have been away for a long time.
JI: Oh, I wouldn’t want to be a bother.
MOKVAR: Okay. Yeah, sorry, Ji.
JI: It’s just that I suppose I assumed, given the time you said to come over, that we would be having lunch…
MOKVAR: Right. But, no, Ji, I wasn’t thinking lunch. Just that we could sit back and have a few drinks and talk.
JI: Drinks are good!
MOKVAR: Okay, great. So why don’t you guys—
JI: I suppose it’s my mistake. I should have thought to eat earlier.
MOKVAR: Um… would you like me to get you something, Ji?
JI: Oh, I wouldn’t want to be a bother.
MOKVAR: Right. So…
JI: I could swear I smelled something cooking, though.
MOKVAR: Yeah… that’s, um, that’s some clefthoof stew I have simmering for dinner tonight.
SPAZZLE: You realize you’re just digging yourself deeper, right?
JI: Oh, I see… so it’s not ready yet?
MOKVAR: Well… it is, but… I mean, it’s one of those things where it gets better the longer you let it simmer. So I usually let it sit for most of the day, and…
JI: Oh, I’m not picky! It doesn’t have to be perfect.
SPAZZLE: Aaaaaaaand here we go.
MOKVAR: Would… you like some, Ji?
JI: Just a small helping, if you please.
MOKVAR: Um… okay. Why don’t you guys have a seat while I…yeah.
Mokvar retrieves a large pot from the hearth while Spazzle and Ji sit around a circular table.
SPAZZLE: <turning to look at side of his chair> Mokvar, what’s up with these stickers on your stuff?
Mokvar returns and sets a plate on the table before Ji.
MOKVAR: Oh, those? That’s from Kor’kron impoundment.
SPAZZLE: Yikes. How much did they take out of here?
MOKVAR: A lot.
Mokvar scoops a small ladle of stew onto Ji’s plate. Ji leans down to inspect the food a moment, then looks up at Mokvar quizzically.
Is… something wrong?
JI: Well, I did mean a little larger small helping.
MOKVAR: Well maybe it would save time if you just took the whole—
Ji snatches the pot from Mokvar happily.
JI: Thank you, Mokvar!
Ji starts ladling large scoops of stew onto his plate.
MOKVAR: <turning back to Spazzle> Did you want some, too, Spaz?
Ji looks up from the food with an expression of faint concern.
SPAZZLE: No, I’m good.
Ji beams and continues shoveling stew onto his plate.
MOKVAR: Anyway… yeah, they took most of the stuff out of here. Pretty much anything you could carry without needing a second set of hands.
SPAZZLE: Yikes. Your computer, too?
MOKVAR: Oh, man, that was the biggest headache to get back.
SPAZZLE: Did they go through your files? Or could you even tell?
Ji sets down the pot and ties a napkin around his neck.
MOKVAR: I don’t think so. <chuckles> My password lock showed something like five hundred failed attempts to log on.
Ji rubs his paws together, then starts to eat eagerly.
SPAZZLE: Eesh. You know, I’ll bet you anything Malkorok was beating his head against the wall on that one personally.
MOKVAR: Oh no doubt. That’s why I made a point of setting a password he’d never think to try.
SPAZZLE: Oh? What was it?
MOKVAR: “Malkorok.”
SPAZZLE: Ha!
JI: <mouth full of stew> Daff’s fweally thpart, Bokbar.
MOKVAR: Um…thanks. Need any salt, Ji?
JI: <back to eating> Doh tahk yew.
SPAZZLE: That was pretty clever, though. I bet it ticked him off something fierce not being able to crack it.
MOKVAR: I’m half surprised they didn’t bring you in to try to hack in. I’m sure you could have.
SPAZZLE: <shrugs> Who knows. I was probably under suspicion myself by that point. Speaking of which, actually…
Spazzle starts digging through his backpack, then produces a small totem of orcish design.
You gave me this. Back in Everlook. I know you probably don’t need it anymore, or even… well, you know, what with you not being a shaman anymore, but…
Spazzle hands the totem to Mokvar.
I figured it should come back to you either way.
MOKVAR: Thanks.
Mokvar looks at the totem in his hands for a moment, then carries it to the mantle over the hearth and sets it down. Ji looks up at what Mokvar is doing, then turns his attention back to ladling more stew onto his plate.
I don’t figure I’ll have much use for these anymore, yeah. Who knows, though, the way Elaglo and Xorenth are blurring the lines between shamans and warlocks.
SPAZZLE: With the dark shamans, you mean?
MOKVAR: Yeah.
SPAZZLE: What are they doing down there, anyway?
MOKVAR: Mostly working on improving their elemental command spells. They’re pretty much trying to maintain better control of summoned elementals, making it less of an “elements hear my prayer” and more of an “elements do my bidding.”
Mokvar walks back to the table.
SPAZZLE: Like the molten giants at Northwatch.
MOKVAR: Yeah, exactly.
Mokvar looks into the now-empty pot sitting on the table next to Ji, then looks to Ji himself.
All done?
JI: <looks down at his empty plate, then smiles> It was very good, thank you!
MOKVAR: Sure you won’t have any more?
JI: <looks at his plate again, then back up> Is there any more?
MOKVAR: No, there isn’t.
JI: I thought not.
MOKVAR: Yeah. So…
SPAZZLE: For what it’s worth, you’re getting off lighter than I did the last time Ji ate at my place.
MOKVAR: Why? What happened?
JI: Oh bother.
SPAZZLE: He got stuck in the door on his way out.
MOKVAR: You’re…kidding.
JI: It wasn’t my fault!
SPAZZLE: Well it all comes from eating too much.
JI: It all comes from not having front doors big enough!
SPAZZLE: Well, next time, you can host.
JI: I will!
MOKVAR: Well, anyway…
JI: What should I make?
SPAZZLE: Huh?
JI: When you come over.
SPAZZLE: I… we didn’t even really plan it.
JI: Well yes, but I like to plan what I’m cooking in advance!
SPAZZLE: I, um, I’m easy to please.
JI: I might need to go shopping, after all.
SPAZZLE: Really, Ji, you don’t need to make anything special on my account.
MOKVAR: Spaz.
JI: Oh, nonsense. You’re a guest. <thoughtfully> Now, there’s also the Pandaren Noodle Festival to think of…
SPAZZLE: The what?
MOKVAR: Spaz.
JI: Well I wouldn’t want to repeat something being served at the festival and seem lazy, after all…
SPAZZLE: No, really, anything you would make—
JI: You’re sure? I would hate for you to come all that way and not have something you enjoyed.
MOKVAR: Ji, I think what he means is that he’d like to be surprised.
SPAZZLE: Uh…
JI: Oh!
MOKVAR: That’s part of the fun of being a lunch guest…right, Spazzle?
JI: I like surprises!
SPAZZLE: Um… Oh. Yeah! Surprises. Yes sir, nothing more fun than…uh… surprise lunch. Yeah.
JI: Oh, this will be fun. I can try making— oh, oops, I almost spoiled it.
SPAZZLE: No spoilers!
JI: Yes, yes, silly me. I— wait, when are you coming over again?
SPAZZLE: Uh…
MOKVAR: That’s part of the surprise.
JI: <blinks> Oh.
SPAZZLE: Uh, right!
JI: Well I suppose that’s… <tilts head> I should have thought of that. How silly of me.
Mokvar slumps into a chair.
SPAZZLE: So hey, now that you’re working over there with those dark shaman guys, have you been able to find out how Garrosh managed to bring them on board?
MOKVAR: How do you mean?
SPAZZLE: You know, like after he shut them down when they were in Ragefire Chasm before.
JI: They used to be enemies?
SPAZZLE: It was before you got to town, Ji. But yeah. Rumors about them were flying all over the place, but no one ever really got any solid information. All anybody really knows is that we had expeditions going down into Ragefire for a while trying to shut down whatever they were doing.
JI: Oh. So now they’re on our side?
SPAZZLE: Apparently.
MOKVAR: Yeah. About that.
SPAZZLE: Uh oh. It’s never something good when people start like that.
MOKVAR: Yeah.
Mokvar sits quietly for a moment.
SPAZZLE: Oh geez. That bad, huh? What did Garrosh have to offer them to bring them over?
MOKVAR: It’s not that. They were always over.
SPAZZLE: The what you say?
JI: I’m confused.
SPAZZLE: Welcome to Orgrimmar.
MOKVAR: The dark shamans were always Kor’kron operatives. Even in the beginning, when it looked like they were renegades making trouble in RFC. The whole business about them being some rogue shaman group was just a front they were putting up.
SPAZZLE: They— but why?
MOKVAR: Plausible deniability, I guess? In case their dark shamanism angle turned bad? Meanwhile… the expeditions that were sent down there to “clean up” the problem were just… training exercises, pretty much. A way to weed out the weak – on both ends.
SPAZZLE: Wait – so Garrosh knew about this? He planned it?
MOKVAR: Big picture, it was his plan to build a force of dark shamans. How much he knew about the nuts and bolts… I don’t know. I’m guessing at least some of the job of making the trains run on time went to Malkorok, but… I don’t know. I’m still being kept in the dark about a lot of things. I probably know too much as it is. Hell, I probably shouldn’t even be telling you this much.
SPAZZLE: Gee, thanks.
MOKVAR: I don’t mean like that. Hell, Spaz, I wouldn’t…
Mokvar trails off, looking back at the extinguished totem on the mantle, then gestures to it as he turns back to Spazzle.
I wouldn’t have left that with you if I didn’t trust you. I just mean I’ve already dragged you into too much trouble as it is. I don’t want you to be stuck keeping more secrets again now.
SPAZZLE: Uh… yeah… About that…
Spazzle looks around uncomfortably, then stares at the floor for a moment.
<quietly> I’ve been talking to Vol’jin.
MOKVAR: You’ve… been…
SPAZZLE: A lot. For a few months now.
MOKVAR: Uh, Spaz, I know you’re a shaman and talk to ancestral spirits and all…
SPAZZLE: Well, in theory.
MOKVAR: Yeah, well, the point is, I didn’t realize that the spirits in question included trolls for you.
SPAZZLE: No, no, they don’t. I don’t mean I’m… Vol’jin’s alive.
MOKVAR: He— wha— how?
SPAZZLE: I actually blogged about this, you know.
MOKVAR: Yeah, sorry, that must have been during that period when I was sort of preoccupied with not being corpsecamped by spectral assassins.
SPAZZLE: Yeah, well. He’s alive. He’s recovering from injuries still in Pandaria, but he’s alive.
MOKVAR: Okay, so… Vol’jin’s alive, Jaina’s a warmonger, Garrosh has a half-draenei kid – what else did I miss? Is Utvoch dating Magatha? Did Alleria and Turalyon finally turn up? Did Grommash actually not drink the blood—
SPAZZLE: Well now you’re getting ridiculous.
MOKVAR: Well who knows at this point? How is Vol’jin alive? He survived the saurok attack after all?
SPAZZLE: It wasn’t a saurok attack. I mean, there were saurok, but… One of the Kor’kron tried to kill Vol’jin. Nearly did. He left him for dead, and Vol’jin’s had his supporters keeping up the lie that he is dead since then.
MOKVAR: Oh fel… And Garrosh…?
SPAZZLE: Doesn’t know. And he can’t find out.
MOKVAR: So… you mean he…?
SPAZZLE: Yeah.
MOKVAR: You’re sure? I don’t know why I’m even surprised, but… you’re sure?
SPAZZLE: The Kor’kron staged a takeover of the Echo Isles right after word of Vol’jin’s death broke.
MOKVAR: Spirits…
SPAZZLE: They had the place under military occupation until Thrall and a few others overthrew them.
MOKVAR: Does Garrosh know about this? I can’t imagine he does, otherwise – and I can’t believe I’m about to say this – I have to figure he would be in a much worse mood these days.
SPAZZLE: No, he doesn’t. Only a few people do.
MOKVAR: But how? I can see the Vol’jin thing being kept quiet, okay, but how could he not have found out about this?
SPAZZLE: There were still a few Kor’kron who trained under Saurfang, who are loyal to Thrall. Captain Gort, a few others… They’ve been reporting to Orgrimmar and maintaining the appearance that the occupation is still going on.
MOKVAR: Spaz… you have to know where this is heading.
SPAZZLE: <nods> I’ve been trying not to think about it.
MOKVAR: So you haven’t told Garrosh… Are you…?
SPAZZLE: <shakes his head> I haven’t been doing anything for them other than keeping quiet. I told Vol’jin before… I won’t work against him and Thrall, but I won’t betray Garrosh, either.
MOKVAR: You know if he finds out about this…
SPAZZLE: I know.
MOKVAR: Especially after… oh, man, Spaz, I’m sorry I dragged you into my whole mess. Both of you.
JI: You didn’t do anything. You’re a friend. You needed help. <shrugs> Anything else is just distraction.
SPAZZLE: Don’t worry about me, Mokvar. You’ve got enough on your plate as it is.
JI: <perking up> Wait, is there another plate?
SPAZZLE: Figuratively, Ji, figuratively…
VOICE: Well, there is…
A whooshing sound is heard, then, in the empty chair next to Mokvar, Deliana unstealths, holding a plate of what appears to be a few leftover bites of stew.
DELIANA: I had to move fast just to get a mouthful for myself before you inhaled it all.
Mokvar eyes a surprised Spazzle and Ji, then shrugs.
MOKVAR: What’s one more layer of compromise at this point, right?
SPAZZLE: Oh…man.
JI: Does Garrosh know she’s—?
MOKVAR: What do you think, Ji?
DELIANA: There aren’t exactly a lot of Alliance-looking types strolling around Orgrimmar unkilled.
JI: Well, that Shayari is a draenei…
DELIANA: Oh, don’t get me started on little miss fancy-hooves.
MOKVAR: You’re just mad because she turned you into a sheep.
DELIANA: Oh, good, annoy your security net. That’s a smart plan.
MOKVAR: I’m just saying.
SPAZZLE: So wait, how long have you been in Orgrimmar?
MOKVAR: Pretty much as long as I have.
DELIANA: I’ve had to sneak in and out a few times, but yeah.
SPAZZLE: What have you been doing?
DELIANA: Mostly giving Mokvar an extra set of eyes that no one knows is there. And some help on stand-by in case something goes bad.
MOKVAR: With everything that’s going on with the shamans, and Neeru, and… hell, I can’t even be sure Malkorok might not still try something at some point.
DELIANA: I can watch his back, and stealth around to check on things. And if nothing else, we know I don’t have anyone I have to answer to.
SPAZZLE: Yeah. You’re lucky that way.
Everyone sits quietly for a moment, looking back and forth between them.
MOKVAR: Well… whatever happens from here on, one way or another, I guess we’re all in it together now.
JI: Weren’t we always?
MOKVAR: You’re a good kid, Ji.
SPAZZLE: So… question is… what side are we on?
Mokvar looks back at Spazzle uneasily, then glances to Deliana. Spazzle exchanges looks with Mokvar and Ji, while Deliana leans forward against the table, drumming her fingers. Ji returns Spazzle’s glance, then turns to Mokvar and Deliana before looking back down at his plate. He considers the last bit of potato for a moment, then nudges the plate away from him and slumps back in his chair.
Mokvar
Raid night
So, everything that’s been going on has kept me fairly busy, but still, what with Gurtash still being a big question mark and there not being a whole lot I can do about it, what little down time I have has still been giving me a little too much time to think. So I figure this is a good time for me to get back online to distract myself for a little while…
You have logged on.
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] ok now get the pizza guy
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh dammit i blew a cooldown by mistake
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Welcome back, Warchief.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] its ok steve itll be back up before we’re at the boss
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] okay, all set
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Thanks
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] gil
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] yes, perhaps just soon enough before the boss for him to blow it again.
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] did relogging fix it?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Looks like it
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] gil!
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] which, surely, he would never do.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Get me back in group before I turn it on?
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] incoming
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wtf why am i still losing health
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you have food poisoning
[MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] has invited you to a raid group.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] from one of the taco guy mobs
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh
[Bartleby | Mokvar] has logged on.
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] there we go
You have joined a raid group.
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] oh hey, and there’s our tenth
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you need to clear your stacks
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] you can’t cure it?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, let me just see about the settings on this thing before I try doing anything else
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] i CAN
[Officer][Lorthemar] Well hello!
[Officer][Lorthemar] It seems like I haven’t seen you in ages, Bartleby.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hang on gil
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] let me know if you need any help with it
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey
[Bartleby | Mokvar] has joined the raid group.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi bart
[Guild][Lorthemar] Welcome!
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] wb mok
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Thanks
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Indeed, it’s good to see you again, Mokvar.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] but i only have so many charges of penicillin
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’ve got you
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Welcome back to the land of the living. Perhaps literally, from what I understand.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] so it would be easier if you could just watch your stacks yourself
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] crap what was that??
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Heh, yeah
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i lost like half my health!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh hey bart, wb
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey everyone
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] yea that was [Induced Vomiting]
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] it takes a bunch of health but now the poisons out of ur system
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, I’m glad that’s over with. Being dead isn’t something I would have wanted to make a regular thing of.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you know in my other guild we just let people die if they get avoidable stuff on them
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] thats harsh
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Sorry I’m late, by the way
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lol that would be funny
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh it’s not so bad at all if you know how to manage the situation to your advantage.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] that way they learn to stop doing it
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] shut up ut
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] not a big deal, we’re just re-clearing the food court
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I would have been happy to assist you in that regard, had it come to it.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] its not a big deal, no need to let him die
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lol
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i mean steve
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] steve
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, I think I’ve got this set
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Zoning back in now
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Heh, yeah, hopefully I won’t have any more reason to hold you to that.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] clearly the people in your -other- guild possess the capacity to learn.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] maybe no NEED really but it might just be fun anyway
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] What are you working on anyway, boss?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lol
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] 🙁
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has entered the raid instance {BLACK FRIDAY}
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] aww gil *hug*
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] installing LEA
[Officer][Lorthemar] He’s setting up an addon for the raid.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Ahh
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] 🙂
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ah, cool, you got raid warnings working
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] u should try to be careful tho
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, now let’s see…
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] if it’s any help, next time you see a food poisoning cloud, steer away from it and let me send one of my pets to get it
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh, yeah, those food poisoning debuffs are nasty
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i can send a vulture or maybe a raccoon
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}<<<~~RW::testing, testing
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] those helped a lot in my other guild
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] With any luck, this will help people be a little more…conscious of the goings-on in the encounter.
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] At least the ones from the food court mini-boss
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] o.O
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ya but then wont they get food poisoning and die?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, there we go
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] yea no kidding bart
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[**RAID GROUP COMPOSITION**]
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Raider Name]~~~~~~[Class]
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]~~Teacher
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Bartleby | Mokvar]~~~~~~~Chef~
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[GilbertRose | Dontrag]~~~~Cashier
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]~~~Lawyer
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Lorthemar]~~~~~~~~~~Hairdresser
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[MrBadCrumble | Spazzle]~~~Firefighter
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Nightengayle | Garona]~~~~Nurse
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[ProfHubert | Faranell]~~~~~Zookeeper
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Proudleslie | Jaina]~~~~~~Paramedic
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[SteveKravitz | Utvoch]~~~~Cashier[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] better the pet than you
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Looks like it’s working okay
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] not so sure about that lol
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] shut up steve
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::here we go, raid warnings up and running
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] cool
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] I watch that guy and I’m like, man, I wish *my* food poisoning hit that hard
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] ok guys
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] no, that’s the whole point of a scavenger. they have highly resilient digestive systems.
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] we’re clear here
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] no kidding, bart – i feel the same way about some of the self-heals these mobs have
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] let’s get moving to the dept. store entrance
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh okay
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, no kidding
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::HEY
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i wouldn’t want to get your pets killed
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] awww thats sweet of you worrying about the poor animals
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Makes me wish *I* could be a mini-boss
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::YOU HEARD HIM
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] yes, that is indeed touching.
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GET YOUR ASSES MOVING
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol yeah me too
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey, you know, I could get to like this thing
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] admittedly, the expression of compassion suffers somewhat from being directed toward a collection of pixels.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] what
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WHATS UUUP BITTTCCHHHEESSSS
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hoo boy
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] who’s doing that?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh dear.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol pwn has a new toy
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh yeah
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] um
[Guild][Lorthemar] That’s Omgipwnedurface.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Man, I wish I had something like this in real life
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i think maybe there was something wrong with my game
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well, there is.
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I think I might end up regretting this
[Officer][Lorthemar] You just couldn’t have done the raid warnings yourself, eh, Spazzle?
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] insofar as you’re the one playing it.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Trust me, boss, you do.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] um who else would be playing my game?
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I think he kinda wanted to do them himself…
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ut you idiot
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] might i suggest literally anyone?
[Officer][Lorthemar] Ugh, I can already tell it’s going to get old quickly.
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] okay
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i mean steve
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, people
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] i think we’re set
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We had a little trouble with this encounter last time, so I’m going to run through this real quick
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Now now, Regent-Lord, let is focus on the task at hand.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] i know the encounter so I’m going to afk real quick
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We start the encounter split in two groups
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh ok is gayle’s gonna afk imma make a quick bio
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And reserve petty infighting for its own time and place.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] HOLD IT
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::HOLD IT RIGHT THERE
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::NO FUCKING AFK’S
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::IF YOU HAVE TO GO, FUCKING HOLD IT
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::TILL LATER
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] shoulda kept a cup by you’re desk steve
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WE ARE NOT
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::REPEAT NOT
[Officer][Lorthemar] -sigh-
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] eww gross
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] lol
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::CAPITAL N CAPITAL O CAPITAL T
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GOING TO GET STARTED WITH THAT PANDAREN WATER TORTURE
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WHERE WE SPEND THE NIGHT BLEEDING TO DEATH
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::FROM THE SLOW DRIBBLE OF A THOUSAND CHAIN AFKS
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I must say, Warchief, this is an occasion when I can appreciate your more authoritarian approach.
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GODDAMMIT
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok ok sorry
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok back
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I know, right?
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] so are we doing a break now or not?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i thought we weren’t
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Putting out some food
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::AS I WAS SAYING
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Come buff up while we get set.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Steve and Gilbert are going to take the registers and handle the waves of shoppers
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ty bart
[Guild][Lorthemar] Thank you, Bartleby.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Healers will stay in the middle so they can keep an eye on both groups
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The rest of us will be clearing inventory in the stock room
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] bartleby, you should try to stay near the healers too
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] try to send some extra buffs to whichever group needs it
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You guys on the registers need to check out the shoppers as they come in
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You need to keep up with the pace they’re coming in, but not go too fast
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] If you check out too many too fast, the next waves spawn faster and eventually we’re going to get overrun
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If they end up spawning too many, I can go over and pick some up as well.
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] you guys at the registers
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So you want to check them out slowly
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And by slowly I mean FUCKING SLOW
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Not an ideal solution, but I can do what I can, then use my [Restraining Order] to drop aggro.
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] try to use as many credit charges as you can
[Officer][Lorthemar] Good idea.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] payments over time help balance out the pacing a lot
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ok got it
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] I’ll admit, having those two doing a key job doesn’t exactly make me bubble over with confidence.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Once we fill out the sales quota for phase 1, that’ll spawn the boss
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] i know
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] There’s no aggro reset so you need to get the fuck out of the way once Bridezilla spawns
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] and the bridesmaid adds
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] True, but they’d be in no less of a position to derail the attempt in the stock room.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] and let BadCrumble pick them up
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Don’t get close to the fitting rooms
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, true.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Burn down the two bridesmaids LDG marks, then everyone on the boss
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If we can handle the phase transition well, we should be fine.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s been out biggest difficulty.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] manage trash waves, burn boss, profit
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] got it!
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Everybody good then?
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yes sir
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] looks like it
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] go go go!
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay then
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Here we go
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[Encounter Initiated:BRIDEZILLA]]
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Everyone to your places
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I have the left side of the stock room covered.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok I have everyone in range
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I’m good on the right side
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Wave 1]]
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’ve got the whole inventory group covered
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] incoming
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] except lor
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok gil can you try not to get too far from the register
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] your getting out of range
[Guild][Lorthemar] I need to be this close to be in melee range.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ok
[Guild][Lorthemar] I’ll back up to get in range if I start getting hit.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, so far so good
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] A little extra focus on this side, Professor?
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] stock room clearing out fine so far
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] keep it going
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We can probably afford to clear the shoppers a little faster
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] could you use a hyena or an ocelot?
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] yeah
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ocelot, please.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] gil you need to stay in range
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Wave 2]]
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] on it.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok thats better
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] we’re good over here
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good, they’re evening out now.
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Heals going okay?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] if gil can keep in range yea
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i can reach him gayle
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] I’ll put out some carrots
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Shoppers?
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] [Sharp Eyesight] for your range.
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] actually
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] we’re getting behind
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Which wave are we on?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] 2
[Guild][Lorthemar] Two
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] should i send a pet out to help?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] 2
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Pick it up, guys
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s not good.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I didn’t mean THAT slow
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Wave 3]]
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We should be on
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] well there we go.
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] did we clear wave 2?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] no
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What are you guys doing up there?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ugh
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] trying sir
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You guys need to get more payments over time rolling on all of them
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] bart can you buff them up
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] What do we need, coffee for haste or spinach for might?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Both, if you can.
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Okay, but I’ll have to blow my [Smorgasbord]
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] do it
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] More PoTs
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] having it later won’t matter if we don’t get there
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] More PoTs
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Done
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That should help.
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Channeling {Customer Dissatisfaction}]]
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, braintrust, now you should
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] INTERRUPT THAT
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] oh fuck
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugh
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] too late
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh crap
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We have a manager incoming
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] on my way
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Where at?
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] can you cover this here lor
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Querulous Manager Spawned]
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] register 4
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] ok
[Guild][Lorthemar] I’ll do the best I can.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] ugh
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::BadCrumble to register 4
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::ProfHubert to register 4
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::SteveKravitz to register 4
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] picking him up
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] ok
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::Bartleby to register 4
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::whatever the fuck you do
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] no guys
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::DON’T STAND CLOSE TO OTHER PEOPLE
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] crap
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] spread
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] spread
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Querulous Manager Casting {Frightful Admonition}]]
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Crap
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] damn i’m feared
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Can someone clear him?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] he’s out of range
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] shoppers loose
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m coming out
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] grabbing them up the best I can
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh dear
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] crap
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] He got feared into the dressing room…
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh dammit.
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Frantic Bridesmaids Spawning]]
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugghhhhh
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] WE’VE GOT BRIDESMAIDS
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] got some on me
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] summoning my honey badger.
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::MANY BRIDESMAIDS
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] dammit i’m down
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] putting it on some of the bridesmaids.
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::HANDLE IT
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We can’t be shorthanded now
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] getting him up
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] you sure prof?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] CLEAR
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[Proudleslie | Jaina] Casts: {Defibrillator} on [GilbertRose | Dontrag]
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Not the first time she’s said that, am I right?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] they hit pretty hard
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] watch
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] whew ok
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] maybe not the time, chief
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh wow yea
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] honey badger doesnt give a fuck
[Officer][Lorthemar] -snicker-
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] More heals on MBC
[Guild][Lorthemar] We’ve got bridesmaids back in the storeroom now
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::FUUUCCCCKKKKK
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lot of adds loose still
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] trying
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Kind of hard for him to get them all when jackasses spawn too many
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] we’ve got a lot of damage coming in
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] bah, I’m dead.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] yet again.
[Guild][Lorthemar] I’m down, too.
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I’ve got a bad feeling about this
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ugh i’m dead
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] second time
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] amatuer.
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] focus the manager, maybe if we can get him out of the way
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::everyone on manager
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::NO AOE, FOCUS FIRE
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] well so much for that
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] i’m down
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] aaaaaand i have some friends
[Bob] has logged on.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] my defib’s on cooldown =(
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It doesn’t much matter at this point.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] dead
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] UGGGHH
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] just wipe it
[Guild][Lorthemar] Yeah.
[Officer][Lorthemar] I knew it was going to be trouble relying on them for that job…
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] yeah
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OK
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] SO
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] problem is they’re way more suited for shoppers than anything else
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::SO
[Officer][Lorthemar] I know…
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[Encounter Ended:BRIDEZILLA (100%)]]
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WHAT
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::THE FUCK
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WAS THAT SHIT
[Guild][Bob] ’ey, you get ’em, mon? link da loot!
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I can revive. Don’t release.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I MEAN SERIOUSLY
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] no bobby =(
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] HOW WAS THAT EVEN REMOTELY FUCKING POSSIBLE
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i know, that was rough
[Guild][Bob] ahhh dat sucks, mon
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] you know, the worst part is it was actually going pretty well there
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] what happened
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] until it started coming apart
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[[[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Casting {Death and Taxes}]]
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hang on
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hang on
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] why yes, everything was going just swimmingly until suddenly everyone was dead.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You two
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Gil and Steve
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Ugh dammit Gil get over here so you don’t accidentally start the encounter again
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no i’m steve
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I DON’T FUCKING CARE WHICH ONE YOU ARE
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We may need to come up with a creative way around this phase.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Look, you two
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We put you
[Officer][Lorthemar] Hopefully “creative” in a non-hacking, non-exploit sort of way, yes?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] on fucking CASHIER duty
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] right
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yes sir
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, Regent-Lord, you’re so charmingly boy scoutish.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So hang on
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But fine.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Look at this.
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[**RAID GROUP COMPOSITION**]
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Raider Name]~~~~~~[Class]
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]~~Teacher
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Bartleby | Mokvar]~~~~~~~Chef~
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[GilbertRose | Dontrag]~~~~Cashier
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]~~~Lawyer
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Lorthemar]~~~~~~~~~~Hairdresser
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[MrBadCrumble | Spazzle]~~~Firefighter
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Nightengayle | Garona]~~~~Nurse
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[ProfHubert | Faranell]~~~~~Zookeeper
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Proudleslie | Jaina]~~~~~~Paramedic
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[SteveKravitz | Utvoch]~~~~Cashier[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] um ok
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] YOU HAD ONE FUCKING JOB
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] IT’S THE ENTIRE REASON YOUR FUCKING CLASS EVEN EXISTS
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] HOW
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] HOW
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] also, FUCKING HOW????
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I have a thought. What about this.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] how what sir?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] ljksdhfglishpg9tj78w945e3fyhvwol384t6y7holsighd
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] It would have to be an improvement over what we’re doing, really…
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] sorry sir
[Guild][Lorthemar] I really just don’t understand.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We’re not managing the shoppers in the first phase well enough.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Granted, I wasn’t out there.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] So let’s bypass them.
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] how?
[Guild][Lorthemar] But how could you have gotten that far behind on shoppers?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Let’s zerg phase one.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] um i dont know
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What’s “zerg”?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Were you even using any of your abilities at all?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i think so
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Nothing, really.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I just made up the word. I just thought it sounded good.
[Guild][Lorthemar] You…think so?
[Guild][Lorthemar] …
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well what does it mean?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It means we all swarm the adds in the first phase.
[Guild][Lorthemar] How do you not know if you were even USING your abilities?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] All in a big, overpowering mass.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] try not to get upset lor
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i dont know
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Rather like felhounds, come to think of it.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i’m clicking on buttons and stuff
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Well the thing is, though, the faster we take the first adds, the faster more will spawn.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Do you know what they DO?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] i have a cashier alt in my other guild
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] If we try to power through them, we’ll be swimming in them.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] maybe i can try to explain this to you guys?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] how do you know?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] True.
[Guild][Lorthemar] How do…
[Guild][Lorthemar] …
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But we’re swimming in them anyway.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh wow that would be really nice gayle
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok i can try
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] This way, at least, we can all be focused on powering through the checkouts.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Blazes…
[Guild][Lorthemar] They should not be at the raiding stage and still need someone to explain what their abilities do!
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And once we spawn the boss, we won’t have any more shoppers spawning.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lor dont get so upset
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lor I agree but we are where we are
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] It’s actually not a bad idea.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] It’s risky, but yeah, if it works…
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] would you prefer no one help them and they keep making mistakes?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hey, why are all the officers so quiet?
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Maybe if we blow all our cooldowns and buffs right off the top.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] My thinking exactly.
[Guild][Lorthemar] I would prefer to have guildmates who knew what they were doing!
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Spazz, what do you think? Number crunch real quick?
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] hey look lorthemar
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] uhh yea…
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] they’re talking in officer chat.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] we’re doing the best we can okay
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] about what?
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I’m coming up with a 32.33% chance of survival
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] repeating
[Guild][Lorthemar] Actually not okay, but still.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Of course
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] and its pretty lousy for you to be getting all nasty about it
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] like considering
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] probably about how much you fail.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well, that’s a lot better than we’re doing right now
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh 🙁
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh? Considering?
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i mean come on man, you only just joined the guild
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Agreed, Warchief.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ya wasnt it just a couple weeks ago?
[Guild][Lorthemar] …
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] we hardly even know you and you’re gonna be talking crap about people?
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well i can’t see any way at all that this won’t end well.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay
[Guild][Lorthemar] ………
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] actually i think he joined like a month or so after i did
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’ll spell it out to these clowns
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] but ya man who are you to be coming down on everyone
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::Okay, listen up
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh SCREW THIS
[Guild][Lorthemar] I’m
[Guild][Lorthemar] LOR’THEMAAAAARRRRRR
[Guild][Lorthemar] THERONNNNNNNN
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[Encounter Initiated:BRIDEZILLA]]
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] whats going on
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] oh crap
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] He started the encounter!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] dammit lor’themar
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Wave 1]]
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] omg
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GO GO GO GO GO
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ugh this repair bill is gonna suck
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GET IN THERE
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] ugh
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] picking up as much as I can
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Frantic Bridesmaids Spawning]]
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] and the wheel turns again.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] dammit lor’themar!
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] well damn that was fast
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Well, now we know I can tank really well
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] just extremely briefly.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh fucking hell
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] -sigh-
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugh my defib is still down
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Regent-Lord…
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I don’t think it’s really going to matter, leslie
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] down.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] me too
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[Encounter Ended:BRIDEZILLA (100%)]]
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Dammit Lori
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you idiot, lor’themar
[Guild][Lorthemar] At least I have roasted quail.
[Lorthemar] has logged off.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Ugh
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I am not looking forward to the email that will surely be coming this afternoon.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay people
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] This clearly isn’t going to work tonight
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Let’s call it a night and try to start fresh next week
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ok pwn
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea probably just as well
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m gonna log. Maybe Ben-Lin’s got some free time
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] sorry sir, i’ll try to do better
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Of course, sir.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’ll try to help puffy finish leveling too
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] later, chief
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] maybe he can help a little
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well, we know he’s magical.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] You know, if we need someone to swap in next time, I might know someone.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] right?
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] does that include miracles?
You have logged off.
Yeah, so. I’ll write more later, after go find Ben-Lin. And beer. Lots of beer. Not necessarily in that order.
More soon.
Keep your friends close
So I guess Spazzle already filled you guys in on the Gurtash thing. No new developments on that front so far. The healers say that the kid’s either going to come around on his own, or not come around at all, which personally I think is a big huge CYA measure on their part, but they’re the healers and I’m not so I guess I might as well give it a few more days before I start smacking people around.
In other news, I’m making some changes to Shayari’s mage training plan. She’s still going to be studying with Faranell over in the Undercity, but I decided that there wasn’t much need for her to LIVE over there permanently. For one, she IS a mage, so she can just teleport over where when she has lessons, and besides, based on recent experience…I mean…good fucking luck getting her to STAY there if she’s gotten it into her head that she doesn’t want to. It’s just easier this way.
So in related news, when I got in touch with Faranell about the revised plan for Shay, he decided it was a good time to hit me up with the estimate for whatever the hell he needs to have done to his jaw after Shay clocked him, or whatever the fuck happened. Then, as if all of this hadn’t put me in a great enough mood already, it just so happened that THAT’s the moment when the bill for that shopping trip Liadrin took Shay on came in, and HOLY FUCKING SHIT ARE YOU KIDDING ME. That hyacinth macaw of hers better fucking well shit GOLD, is all I’m saying. Are kids ALWAYS this expensive?! Fucking hell, this is going to clear out the bank in no time flat at this rate. Nice job, doeling. Yeesh.
Anyhow. In OTHER other news, now that Mokvar’s mostly accounted for himself, it’s time he got back on the job and made himself useful. Which as you can imagine made everyone in the war room pleased as punch. And by “punch” I mean “panda punching Varian in the fucking face”…
Because some shit just never gets old. Heh. Hehehehe…
Anyway. Yeah. Smiles all around for Mokvar’s return to Grommash Hold.
MALKOROK: Sir! With all due respect, you can’t be serious!
EITRIGG: You’re lifting the banishment?!
MALKOROK: You can’t possibly intend to allow this…this treasonous dog back into your council chamber!
MOKVAR: Uh, yeah, nice to see you guys, too.
EITRIGG: Garrosh, I don’t understand. After everything that happened with Mokvar, after his conspiring with Magatha, for spirits’ sake—
GARROSH: Look, I understand why you banished him while I was away, Eitrigg. I’m not lifting it now because it was the wrong call at the time. If I’d been here, I probably would have done the same thing myself.
EITRIGG: Then why, Garrosh?
MALKOROK: I’m not usually inclined to agree with the old man, Warchief, but once he’s right. Why would you restore this—
GARROSH: BECAUSE, you two, Mokvar’s managed to account for himself to my satisfaction, and—
MALKOROK: Sir, whatever lies this traitor has told you—
GARROSH: Are MINE to judge, Malkorok, not yours. I believe he’s telling me the truth.
Garrosh looks over at Mokvar, then back to Malkorok.
Enough of it, at least. Besides…I have good reason to believe that Mokvar has access to…certain resources that could be of great tactical benefit to us.
EITRIGG: Warchief…?
MALKOROK: I find it hard to believe he possesses anything that our forces—
GARROSH: You remember the Divine Bell, Malk? What a smashing success that whole grand finale was? Suffice to say, during his reintroduction to the warlock world, Mokvar found something that could have swung that whole fiasco in our favor.
Eitrigg slumps back in his chair uncomfortably. While Malkorok and Garrosh continue, Taktani bounces into the room, with Shayari following behind.
MALKOROK: Assuming he’s not making up the entire st—
GARROSH: <pointing back at his throne> DO YOU WANT TO SIT IN THIS CHAIR?
TAKTANI: <hopping onto the throne happily> Oooh, I do, Mr. Warchief! Yay! It looks comfy!
Garrosh looks back at Taktani, rubs his forehead, then turns back to Malkorok (who suddenly looks much more exhausted than he did just a moment ago).
GARROSH: Look, Malk. I’ve made my decision. And if you don’t think it’s the right one, then guess what? I’ve still made my decision, and I don’t want to hear any more about it. Mokvar’s banishment is lifted, and I’m reinstating him to scribe duties.
TAKTANI: <sprawling back on the throne and waving one paw around> I’m the Warchief-chief! Yay! Lemon squares or death! Hee hee!
GARROSH: Besides, would you really rather have HER staying on indefinitely?
MALKOROK: You…may have a point, sir.
TAKTANI: Aww don’t be grumpy, Mr. Malky! No grumpies allowed! <waving her paw around more> Off with his head! Tee hee!
GARROSH: TAK.
TAKTANI: Ooh! Okay! Right, Mr. Warchief, sir!
Taktani hops off the throne and bounces over to the council table.
GARROSH: Mokvar, this is Taktani. She’s been filling in for you while you’ve been away. Well, splitting time with… Uh, anyway, she’s been filling in as a scribe.
TAKTANI: <bouncing up onto the council table and leaning in close to Mokvar> Hiiiiii Mr. Mokvar! It’s nice to meet you!
GARROSH: She used to write in to the blog before you went AWOL, remember?
TAKTANI: I’ve heard so much about you, Mr. Mok-Mok! I’m sure the nice things are true!
MOKVAR: I— wait, you mean she’s real?
MALKOROK: Unfortunately.
TAKTANI: You’re so grumpy, Mr. Malky! I bet you just need a big hug!
MALKOROK: Don’t you dare even think of—
TAKTANI: Again!
MALKOROK: Warchief!
GARROSH: Rein it in, Tak.
MOKVAR: Okay, you know, she’s a little hyper for my tastes, but I think she’s starting to grow on me all the same.
SHAYARI: Chuckles really does bring out the best in people, doesn’t he?
GARROSH: Huh— oh, hey, Shay.
SHAYARI: Hey. <scanning the table> Hey, Beardy. Chuckles. Other Old Guy I Don’t Know.
GARROSH: Oh, yeah, you never met Eitrigg, did you?
SHAYARI: I think you mentioned him to me. But yeah.
GARROSH: He’s Ariok’s old man, if that helps any.
SHAYARI: Ohh, okay. So you’re kind of Grayscale Senior. I guess that makes you…what, sepia, sort of?
EITRIGG: …Warchief?
GARROSH: <sighs> Yeah, okay. So. Eitrigg, this is Shayari. She’s…my daughter.
Eitrigg stares blankly for a full minute.
TAKTANI: Mr. Warchief? Is Mr. Eatery okay?
GARROSH: Eitrigg?
EITRIGG: <blinks> I… I’m sorry, Garrosh. I think my brain might have just stroked off there for a moment. Did you just say…?
GARROSH: She’s my daughter. Yeah.
MALKOROK: Supposedly.
SHAYARI: I know, Chuckles, I’m too good for a lot of people to believe.
EITRIGG: <gesturing bewilderedly toward Shayari> But… but Warchief… how…?
GARROSH: Dude, do I really have to work it out for you?
SHAYARI: #TheLadiesLoveGarrosh, am I right?
EITRIGG: I…oh…well… <gathers himself, turns to Shayari> It’s a pleasure, Miss Shayari.
SHAYARI: Thanks, Grampa Sepia. Oh, and if your boy mentions anything about livestock, I don’t know anything about it.
MALKOROK: Warchief, is there a reason why your…offspring is barging in on our meeting?
TAKTANI: Aw, Mr. Malky, why can’t you be friendly? You should smile more!
MALKOROK: That’s enough from you, druid!
MOKVAR: Yeah. I definitely think I’m starting to like her.
SHAYARI: Oh, don’t sweat it, Tak. Guy Smiley here’s just pissy ’cause I’m a walking, talking reminder that Pops has gotten laid more recently than him.
TAKTANI: Huh?
MALKOROK: Draenei, I—
GARROSH: Malk, zip it.
MOKVAR: And I know I’m starting to like her.
GARROSH: Come to think of it, though, what ARE you doing here, Shay?
SHAYARI: I’m just checking to see how long Tak’s going to be busy with the meeting.
GARROSH: Uh, not long. It’s going to be a pretty short one today. Why?
SHAYARI: Nothing huge. When she’s done, I was going to port us up to Silvermoon to do some shopping. I can kill a little time, though. I’ll just be over at Kodohide’s, ’kay, Tak? I can check out the leather jackets while you do your thing.
TAKTANI: Okay! I’ll come find you!
GARROSH: Hang on – SHOPPING? We just moved like five huge cases of yours back from the Undercity. Don’t you have ENOUGH stuff?
SHAYARI: <walking toward the door> That’s cute, Pops. “Enough stuff.” You’re adorable. Later, Tak! Oh, and Chuckles?
Malkorok looks up.
Don’t forget: being a walking bag of hyena urine is something most people couldn’t carry off, but you, sir…are no exception. Toodles!
Shayari exits.
GARROSH: <rubbing his forehead> I can already tell I’m going to have to start making withdrawals from the bank, aren’t I…
MOKVAR: You know what? I’m going to skip right past “like” and say I’m starting to love her.
EITRIGG: She does have a certain infectious charm.
GARROSH: Okay, so…
TAKTANI: Should I start scribing now, Mr. Warchief?
GARROSH: Ah. Well, no, Tak. See, you were filling in for Mokvar, and he’s back now, so he’s going to be taking over again.
TAKTANI: Oh…
Taktani looks back and forth between Garrosh and Mokvar.
You don’t want me to be your scribe anymore?
Taktani makes big, sad kitty eyes.
Did I do bad?
GARROSH: Oh geez.
MALKOROK: <rubbing his forehead> Merciful spirits….
GARROSH: Ugh… Look, Tak, you—
MOKVAR: Garrosh?
GARROSH: Hmm?
MOKVAR: You know, while I get reacclimated, it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea to let her stay on for a little while, just to make sure I don’t miss anything in my notes.
Taktani’s face lights up, and she turns to Garrosh hopefully.
GARROSH: Oh for… Yeah. Fine. Whatever. You’re already here, so you might as well stick around for today anyway.
TAKTANI: YAY!!
MALKOROK: <glaring at Mokvar> Scribe, what in hellfire are you doing?
Taktani hops gleefully into a chair next to Malkorok. Mokvar tilts his head to one side, watching her, then smirks at Malkorok.
GARROSH: Okay…so, getting down to actual business, finally.
TAKTANI: Yay!
GARROSH: TAK.
TAKTANI: Oops! Sorry, Mr. Warchief sir!
Taktani makes an exaggerated zipping movement in front of her mouth, then stifles a giggle.
GARROSH: So. Moving on.
MALKOROK: Warchief, with your approval, I’d like to add a few additional patrols around the read gate.
GARROSH: Is there a problem?
MALKOROK: Just a precaution. I’ve gotten reports of some minor oddities around the Valley of Honor. I’d just like to make sure there isn’t anything to be concerned about.
GARROSH: Fine. Do what you need to do.
MALKOROK: Yes, sir.
GARROSH: Now for more important business. Mokvar, what’s our next step on your sha project?
EITRIGG: Garrosh…
MOKVAR: I’ll need to see some of these sha in person. This isn’t going to be exactly the same as dominating demons, so I’ll need to start small and work out the bugs.
GARROSH: Fine. I’ll be heading back to Pandaria in a couple weeks. You’ll come with me, and we’ll take it from there.
EITRIGG: Garrosh, I don’t like the sound of dabbling further with these sha—
GARROSH: Your objections are noted and inconsequential.
MOKVAR: That should work out. I have a few things I wanted to check on in Pandaria anyway.
GARROSH: In the meantime, I want you to check in with a few people as well, on a couple different fronts.
MOKVAR: What’s that?
GARROSH: For one, I want you to go see Overseer Elaglo. He and Xorenth are working on a few things down in Ragefire Chasm that I think you might be able to help with.
MOKVAR: Okay. What are they working on?
GARROSH: They’ll fill you in when you get down there. And while you’re down that way, I want you to touch base with Neeru Fireblade in the Cleft of Shadow.
MOKVAR: Uh… you want me to… why?
GARROSH: Because given what went down with him before you starting going all off-hinge, I think he’d be pretty damn interested in the fact that you’ve got yourself a new toy.
MOKVAR: Well, yeah, I’m sure he would, but I was figuring I’d probably be better off keeping CLEAR of him about that. Why even let him know I have the—
GARROSH: Because knowing will get his curiosity up. And you know what curiosity did to the cat.
Garrosh looks to a suddenly nervous-looking Taktani.
Not you, Tak.
Taktani lets out a relieved sigh while Garrosh turns back to Mokvar.
I doubt that he’s going to want to trust you, considering everything that’s gone on. But I’m betting curiosity about what you’ve been up to, and your shiny new doodad in particular, is going to be too much for him to resist. So I want you to dangle it in front of him, and see if you can get in good with him.
MOKVAR: <nodding slowly> And then I report back to you.
GARROSH: And then you report back to me. We know Neeru’s up to something, but so far he’s been careful. But YOU…well, what you bring to the table might mean just enough for his demonic interests to bring him out. I know we can’t trust him, so I want someone keeping him close.
MOKVAR: Got it. I’ll do what I can. When should I head over?
GARROSH: No time like the present. You might as well head over. I already told Elaglo and Xorenth you’d be by sometime today.
MOKVAR: Okay, chief. I’ll get the records written up and posted for you later today.
GARROSH: Yeah, that’s fine.
Mokvar gathers up his documents and walks toward the door.
<talking over one shoulder without turning around> And Mokvar.
Mokvar stops in the doorway and looks back.
It’s good to have you back.
Mokvar hasn’t gotten back from the Cleft of Shadow yet, but when he does, hopefully there’ll be some good news. In the meantime, I’m going to talk to Spazzle about putting some filters on the blog. Some posts, at least. It’s good having these records here, but we’re going to want to start limiting who can see certain information. You guys are all cool, don’t worry. But some of this stuff…yeah, we’re going to need to be a little more careful. Especially if things start lining up like I think.
More soon.
ADDENDUM FROM TAKTANI’S NOTES:
(Mr. Mokvar left.)
MALKOROK – Warchief, I still object to you trusting that scribe after his treasonous conduct. Especially with these kinds of sensitive matters.
GARROSH – Malk, do you not listen to any fucking thing that I say?
MALKOROK – Warchief?
GARROSH – Did you miss what I told him about keeping someone who can’t be trusted close, so we can keep an eye on him?
MALKOROK – No, sir, I heard you, but—
GARROSH – Did you think I was only talking about Fireblade?
(Malkorok became still a moment, thinking, then gave a slow nod.)
MALKOROK – Yes, sir. I think I understand. I…wouldn’t have thought of that, sir.
GARROSH – (nodding back) That’s why I’m in charge.