Category Archives: Words from Behind the Curtain

More stupid questions


So you might remember a couple posts ago I talked about being invited by those Klout people to answer their members’ questions about blogging — A WISE MOVE ON THE PART OF KLOUT, I AM SURE YOU WILL AGREE. (Huh. I initially typoed “Klout” as “Lout”…can you imagine a place called “” wanting my advice?) I answered a bunch of questions for you, like I showed you all here, and even though I never heard anything back from them, I’m sure they appreciated my Warchieferous insight, because lo and behold, they’re at it again.

Yes, the Klout people have sent me another batch of questions to answer from their members, and hey, I couldn’t deny you people of my insight, so here we go.


What do you think are the best blogging tools and why?

I’m very big on the computer and keyboard, because I find paper and quill just make for a lot of busywork as far as distributing the posts to all my LOYAL READERS AND MINIONS. That and my hand cramps up a lot that way.  Actually my hand cramps up a lot when I’m online anyway, but the less said about that the better. (HI, GREATMOTHER.)


What’s the easiest way to live blog an event and why?

Oh man, have you come to the right place. When the event begins, start typing. Hit “update” every now and then. When it’s over, stop. Also, try to make sure you’re not within range of Nozdormu’s why-fly, because timey whimey really fucks up your chronology. Also make sure your tech goblin actually KEEPS VARIAN THE FUCK OUT THIS TIME BECAUSE WTF.


Do you think that it is important for businesses to have active blogs? Why or why not?

I think it’s much more important for businesses to have inactive blogs. Because that sends the message that you’re way too fucking busy doing important shit like, you know, BUSINESS, to waste your day dicking around blogging.


Who are the three best bloggers and why?

Me, myself, and I. Dumbass. (Dumbass would be you. Not one of the three best bloggers. Which are me. Because I’m at least as pimp as any three other bloggers.) (Dumbass.)


KEEP ’EM COMING, KLOUT. You’re welcome.

Also, while I’ve got everyone’s attention and I’m in the mood to answer questions, it occurs to me that I haven’t done a mailbag in quite a while, so let me encourage you all to write in with any questions you might have for your Warchief. To make it a little easier, in fact, I’m even going to try out this new doohicky that Spazzle says he build into the blog, so you folks can have an easier time sending in your letters…

Well looky there. Shiny.

Also on the topic of receiving things from my LOYAL READERS AND MINIONS, I just got a little goodie the other day that I just had to share with you all. Those of you who follow me on Twitter (and for those of you who DON’T — WHY THE FUCK NOT?) might have noticed a few days ago I had a little back-and-forth with Sylvanas and Lor’themotherfucker. Based on some of the…um…discussion we were having, loyalreaderandminion @RakaelTowers put together this little gem and sent it along. I thought you peeps would enjoy:




[A quick(ish) OOC note: Apologies — once again — for becoming so inactive with the blog lately. The last few weeks have been keeping me very busy with work, and even when I’ve had some down time, I often haven’t had the mental energy to assemble something worth posting. This has been compounded by the fact that blog continuity has reached a point at which the next post HAS to be a comic that I’ve had planned for a while. (Unless I decide to try to do one more rap battle. Which I might. Don’t try me.) (Teasing preview: Dontrag and Utvoch feature heavily. Plus an old mailbag friend makes a first-time comic-form appearance.) (No, not Bob.) (Parentheses are fun, aren’t they?) I’m doing my best to get the comic finished soon, but I don’t want to promise a specific day and then fall short; I’m hoping I can count on your continued patience. As always, I appreciate everyone’s interest and feedback, and I’ll be working as best I can to get the story rolling again before everybody gets too sick of waiting.]


Timing is Everything


Hi, everyone. This is Averry, making one of my rare appearances.

Since I’ve gotten a few inquiries about this, I thought I would make a blanket note here in the blog: Yes, I know I’m running way behind in-game events. Yes, I know we’re a few weeks into patch 5.2, and the blog is still only midway through the Domination Offensive storyline from 5.1. Yes, yes, I know.

Now, granted, the blog has always trailed a bit behind the game as a matter of necessity – I’ve always maintained that when new material comes out, I want to have time to play through and process it before I start trying to work it into the blog. So there was never a chance that new content would be acknowledged here right away (well, other than foreshadowing). But since it’s now bordering on the ridiculous, let’s just acknowledge it: the blog is pretty much unfolding under its own timetable. Part of the reason is the comics (new one coming up soon-ish, by the way; Dontrag and Utvoch fans rejoice) — which are fun to make, but man, do they ever eat up time, so they’ve led to some longer gaps between posts than I would like. Another part is, obviously, the side stories I’ve been working into the Domination Offensive thread, not to mention the Mokvar story that’s been running simultaneously.

If anything, I’m grateful that people seem to have been sticking with me through all of this. To make everything a little easier to follow, I’ve added entries to the Major Storylines page for both the Domination Offensive events and Mokvar’s story (the latter being a story that really has to develop slowly). I’ll try to keep those pages updated as the stories unfold. In the meantime, I can only ask that people continue to trust that there’s a reason why I’m not just banging out the Domination storyline in a week’s worth of posts, and that all the peripheral material is actually leading somewhere. It just…may not necessarily lead there as quickly as the patch releases might dictate. My hope is that after I finish with 5.1 (someday!), I’ll be able to make up a little time, since the 5.2 content isn’t particularly Garrosh-heavy, but even then, there will be some 5.1 fallout to deal with. (Not least of all being a surprise set off by the purge of Dalaran – that’s right, there’s your teaser!) All of which will probably keep me busy until 5.3 has been out for months…hoo boy.

This all may or may not be part of a devious plot to delay the Warchief’s eventual fate while I milk more time to spin my strange variety of yarns. Draw your own conclusions…

Be seeing you,



Now Inviting: F Y V


Hi everyone — a quick out-of-character announcement from Averry.

I’d mentioned in response to a comment a little while back that I was planning to create a guild for friends and readers of blog-Garrosh to come hang out an meet each other. I finally got around to creating the guild about a week ago (I didn’t want to interrupt the recent alternate-reality story with an announcement at the time), and so now, come one, come all, <F Y V> is now ready and waiting with open arms!

Ultimately the guild is going to be a (mostly) alt guild for screwing around and socializing, although I wouldn’t be above using it to instigate a cross-realm retro-ish raid or two as time goes on. Above all else, I thought it might be a good way to meet some more readers and fellow bloggers, since I don’t often get to interact with you all directly while tucked away behind the Garrosh persona.

So, if you’re interested and dropping by and saying hello, <F Y V> is located on Kargath-US server, and run by a certain goblin by the name of Spazzlefizz. If Spazzle himself isn’t online, feel free to look for me under my Battlenet tag, Averry#1116.

That’s all from me for now! We now return to the imminent destruction of Theramore…

Be seeing you,



Coming Soon: Live Blogiversarying (Yes, That’s a Word, Dammit)


Hi again, everyone. This is Averry, breaking character to make a quick announcement.

The one other time I’d stepped out from behind the Garrosh façade, I’d said I wouldn’t be doing it again, and I labored for a while trying to come up with an in-character way to make this announcement. Then my inner Garrosh kicked in and I said, “Eh, fuck it.” It’s just easier to do it this way, so here I am again.

As some of you long-time readers may realize, we’re coming up on the one-year anniversary of the Warchief’s Command Board. Garrosh made his inaugural post on August 28, 2011. (You better believe I just shamelessly linked back to it! Hey, if you’re a new reader, consider that your invitation to hop into the Way-Back Machine and get all caught up. And if you’ve been reading from the start…well…go back and read it all again! I bet it rewards multiple readings. You know, kind of like a Faulkner novel. Only nowhere near as good. Like even remotely.)

I wanted to do something to commemorate the blogiversary, and an idea finally came to me, courtesy of some serendipitous timing. As it happens, August 28 also marks the release date of Jaina Proudmoore: Tides of War, Christie Golden’s new WoW novel that sets the stage for Mists of Pandaria.

So here’s my hair-brained scheme. Next Tuesday, August 28, I’m going to be running out in the morning to pick up the novel. Then I’ll be spending the day reading. And then, that night, I’ll be LIVE BLOGGING a new installment of the Command Board that will tie into the events of the novel somehow. I’ve live blogged here once before, and this will work basically the same way: I’ll post an initial setup, then update every few minutes so that the story “unfolds” before your very eyes as you refresh the page.

What will the live-blogging episode be about? How will it tie into the book? I have no idea! I won’t know that until I actually read the book, so I won’t even be in a position to start putting any ideas together until that day. All I know is that I’ll be writing something that night, and it’ll have something to do with the events of Tides of War. Obviously, this is a bit of a gamble, and there’s a more-than-trivial chance that I’ll wind up embarrassing myself. But really, isn’t the chance to watch Averry make himself look like a jackass one of those little pleasures that makes life worth living?

So, consider this your official invitation to attend the debacle in progress – the LIVE BLOG begins at 8:00 PM Eastern time on TUESDAY, AUGUST 28. Come by and watch me fall flat on my face!

Thank you to everyone for reading, following, commenting, and interacting with the Warchief here. I’ll respond to comments on this post (as well as on the About page) as myself, and then otherwise retreat behind my somewhat more temperamental alter ego.

Thanks as always,

(and Sawyer)


Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain


Hi, everyone. This is Averry, the writer behind the Warchief’s Command Board.

As those of you who’ve read the site’s About page already know, I’ve always made a point never to break character in the blog. I’ve decided to make this one exception, though, to address a recent development that affects the Command Board. This is a one-time thing; I don’t plan on ever posting as myself here again after this.

You probably already know what this is about. During Blizzard’s Mists of Pandaria press tour, it was announced that the final tier of the MoP expansion will be the Siege of Orgrimmar, in which both Alliance and Horde lay siege to the city in order to end the rule of Garrosh Hellscream.

Since news broke about Garrosh being the final boss of the expansion, I’ve gotten a number of comments on Twitter and in e-mails, either wondering how this news will affect the blog, or, more flatteringly, basically saying that blog-Garrosh has had a hand in making them a little less excited about the prospect of being rid of game-Garrosh. Thank you for that – it really feels great to think that people have been enjoying the blog at all, much less that they’ve developed sympathy for – let’s face it – a rather unlikable character as a result of it.

I’m not sure yet what this is going to mean for the blog.  There’s still plenty of time to figure that out. The short version, for the short term, is that the blog isn’t going anywhere. I’m already cooking up a fair number of ideas about how I might play this upcoming storyline, but since we still know very little, they’re just possibilities. Once we have more definite information about the MoP story, I’ll start incorporating it into the blog.

The one request I would make is that everyone try as much as possible to keep direct references to the planned MoP developments out of their comments to posts here. (Well, other than this post. Comment away on this one!) Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love seeing your comments and hearing from you. But to a certain extent, talking about the upcoming Siege of Orgrimmar tier here breaks the blog: since I write from Garrosh’s perspective, and the conceit of it all is that Garrosh is an actual person who’s writing about events as they’re actually happening to him, upcoming patches represent events that are out of his frame of reference right now. There’s no way he could respond to comments about them, simply because they wouldn’t make any sense to him. It would be like someone showing up at your work and saying to you, “So how does it feel knowing that two years from now they’re going to fire you for embezzling funds, which by the way you’re not actually going to start doing for another six months or so.” You’d be at a loss to respond to this person, because you’d be too busy calling the nearest insane asylum.

One of the things I enjoy most about the blog is hearing from readers and getting the chance to respond, whether that be through comments or the mailbag posts (yes, “Bob” notwithstanding, the vast majority of the letters really are from actual readers). But when I get comments that basically say “Hey, look what’s going to be happening to you, Garrosh!”, there’s really no way for me to respond, because if you think about it, all Garrosh could respond with would be a blank stare. I mean, a blanker stare.

Rest assured, we’re a long way from seeing the end of Garrosh’s adventures across the internet. I still have plenty of ideas (WTB more time to write them in!), and I’m sure MoP will end up giving me even more great material to play off of.

Thanks once again for reading, friends. Honor go with us all—hang on. Ack, it really is easy to lapse into character sometimes. Sorry.

Be seeing you,




ADDENDUM (Added 7/26/12) — In light of the Mists of Pandaria release date, I thought I would add one additional note to this post, just to give everyone a heads up – don’t be surprised if there’s a bit of a time delay between new lore developments going live in-game and being acknowledged in-blog. The new storylines of MoP, and the pre-launch events, will definitely be reflected in Garrosh’s posts here, but I’ll be giving myself a little leeway time-wise to play through the new content and process it for post/story ideas. I’m not on the Beta, so other than a few odds and ends that I’ve picked up online, I’ll be getting my first exposure to the new material on launch day. Please don’t send leave angry comments on September 26 when I haven’t started talking about Pandaria yet!