Monthly Archives: August 2011

It would have been nice if he’d told me this before


Okay so apparently you CAN go back and erase stuff on this stupid machine. Spazzle came over and showed me the button I’m supposed to use so I’m going to try it and see if it works. So let me write something and erase it and see if he’s telling me the truth or if I have to go colossus smash his fucking head in and then execute a couple dozen goblins to make an example of them.

So here goes:


Okay, so could you read that part about the crippled hippogryph? I think I got that right so you shouldn’t have been able to see the thing about the crippled hippogryph. I sure hope so because the last thing I fucking need at this point is the fucking DEHTA people being a pain in the ass, it’s bad enough having to put up with the stupid hippie druids over in the Valley of Wisdom much less having to pretend like Malfurion Whatshisface is our buddy now just because Thrall says he’s supposed to be keeping some elemental guy from burning everything down. Like the place has been in such great shape anyway the last few months, nice job there, Antlers McBeardyface.

Anyway, hopefully I got the erase thing down, I guess we’ll see in a minute after I post this. I swear if Spazzle is lying to me and I get those DEHTA fuckers picketing Grommash Hold again I’m going to rend him like there’s no tomorrow.

More later. FOR THE HORDE!




If you’re reading this you probably already know who I am, and if you don’t it’s probably just a matter of time before YOU ARE CRUSHED BENEATH MY HEEL.

Okay, let me back up a little, I think this might be getting away from me a little already. Crap this is going to be hard. So here goes.

My name is Garrosh Hellscream, and if you don’t know who that is you’ve probably been living under a rock or something, and you should probably go back there, or maybe I can just put you under one after I crush your fucking skull with a boulder with my bare hands, because I can do that, you know, pick a boulder right the fuck on up and slam it down and…okay, fuck, there I go again. Dammit I wish this stupid thing had a way to erase this shit after I say it.

So, getting back on topic. I am Garrosh, son of Grom, mighty and awesome Warchief of the Horde! Recognize, bitches! And stop bothering me with all the fucking paperwork. I mean seriously, Thrall did NOT warn me there would be so many forms to fill out. Back in Nagrand I didn’t even know what “triplicate” was, and now…ugh. Anyway, I was talking to Eitrigg during a GLORIOUS AND HONORABLE afternoon of armament requisition forms (Really, I’m the fucking Warchief, don’t I have underlings or something who can handle this shit?), and he suggested that I might find it helpful to start a blog to work out my ideas and vent my frustrations. He said that writing out your thoughts can help with stress and anger management, and I get the stress part, but come on, is he really suggesting I have anger issues, because if he is I swear on the spirits if he wasn’t all buddy-buddy with Thrall I would positively fucking heroic throw him clear across the Southfury, and…okay, never mind, he’s probably going to see this. Shit. Somebody really has to invent a way to erase things like that.

Okay, so I suppose I should thank Eitrigg for the idea for this blog, even though it’s probably a stupid idea and I’ll get sick of it in a few days, but whatever. I should also thank Spazzle Fizzletrinket for helping me set up all the stupid confusing technical bloggy stuff that doesn’t make any sense to me because I was too busy going out into the wilderness and killing things like an orc to waste my time learning dorky gadgety stuff at the Garadar School for Pansies. I also want to thank him for getting his twitchy green ass back to the goblin slums where he belongs after he was finished and not hanging around bothering me. Yeah, yeah, I know, time is money, give it a rest, you’re not getting a tip.

By the way, in case anyone got confused there, the Garadar School for Pansies isn’t a real place, and it wouldn’t be a real place because there aren’t any pansies in Garadar, okay, because that’s where real orcs live. Do you get that or do I have to come hurt you or something? Dammit people are stupid.

Anyway…we’ll see how this blog thing goes. I’ll probably write something else later. Maybe after jazzercise.