Monthly Archives: May 2012

I am become death


If you’ve been paying attention lately, you might have noticed I’ve been having a lot of contact with some of our people down in Brackenwall Village – Krog about the goings-on in Stonetalon, Draz’Zilb about his potential uber-corruption spell. It hasn’t been a coincidence.

No surprise to anyone that I’ve been on a pretty steady boil ever since I realized that Varian and Jaina were in the guild and must have heard me talking about where I was going with my mother last week. I don’t know why I should be shocked by anything these humans do at this point. Thing is, though, Varian I can at least see. I mean, make no mistake, I hate that motherfucker, but at least it makes sense for him to have it in for me as well, and he’s not one to make any pretenses about it. We’ve had bad blood going back to the Violet Citadel, probably further, not to mention he’s a hateful dimwitted warmongering orc-hating bigot, so of course he would grab any opportunity to strike at me. And if an innocent has to die in the process, all the better. It’s Varian. I get it.

But Jaina? THAT sticks in my craw. Let’s even set aside all the joking around and clowning I do on her and all the cracks about her being a slut which granted they’re totally true but not really germane to the conversation right now. But this is the woman who tried to play herself off as Little Miss Peacemaker. Always playing the diplomat, coming off like she’s the level-headed human willing to yank Varian back when he’s being an asshole (which, admittedly, probably kept her pretty busy). Always hiding behind her incomprehensible friendship with Thrall, like that made her better and nobler than the rest of her kind. Like she just wants to be our friend too.

And she was a part of this. Even if she wasn’t taking action herself, she knew. She was there. And all the while she probably kept on wearing her “Oh dear me, why can’t we all work together?” fake smile.

So guess what our first target is going to be.

I’ve been meeting with General Nazgrim to work out the logistics for our first strike on Theramore. We’re planning two waves. The first will be a ground strike launched out of Brackenwall, hitting the main gate of the city with several infantry detachments with artillery support. That initial wave will serve two purposes: one, to break down the city’s outer defenses and allow our troops to make their way inside, and two, to keep Theramore’s defenses focused on the main gate, while the second wave comes in by sea and hits the harbor.

The second wave will be the key one, and deceptively small. We’ll be bringing quite a few ships, but very few troops aside from the actual crews necessary to navigate the vessels. The real purpose of the naval strike will be to hit the harbor, land, and get a single squadron to deliver the real centerpiece of the attack: Draz’Zilb, bearer of the new experimental chain corruption spell.

Remember how I mentioned Draz’Zilb’s spell sounded promising, but needed to be tested until controlled conditions? Well Theramore is going to be our field test. Our troops are going to get Draz’Zilb into the city long enough for him to find a decent-size cluster of humans, cast the spell, and then get back to the harbor while the chain reaction begins. Once the spell is deployed, our incursion group will fire off a signal to let all our troops know it’s underway. At that point, EVERYONE will head to the ships – the ground troops near the front gate can be making their way around the outer walls toward the shore – and then get out of there by sea. Hence bringing so many ships when we didn’t have that many troops in the naval group.

It works out perfectly, really. Theramore makes the ideal test target: a solitary human colony, densely populated but easy enough to isolate. As much as Dustwallow Marsh is swarming with life, it’s mostly spiders, crocolisks…nothing that isn’t expendable. Black dragonkin, the last leftovers of Onyxia’s brood? Good riddance. Yeah, a couple Grimtotem settlements, but do you think I’m going to shed any tears over them? The whole marsh is separated from the rest of Kalimdor by mountains and sea, perfectly enclosed. No spreading of the chain corruption beyond that one zone, however it plays out.

I love when things work out neatly like that.

Nazgrim and I are getting the last details sorted out. I even got a couple of the goblins from the Gob Squad to come in and put together a scale model of Theramore and its environs for us here in the war room, to help plan out troop and ship placement.

The only small wrinkle is the ogres in Brackenwall, seeing as we don’t want to end up wiping them all out with the corruption. Would be kind of rude, what with it being Draz’Zilb’s spell and all. So I’m having most of the ogre population – the ones who won’t be going on the actual attack – relocated temporarily to Alcaz Island. They’ll be safely isolated there until everything blows over, plus we can even use the island as a staging ground for the naval strike.

Preparations are already underway. I’ve had the ogres moving in small numbers for the last couple of days, so we can do it gradually enough not to draw attention. A couple more days and they should be safely situated on the island, and then we’ll be ready to start. And if things go according to plan, pretty soon Sylvanas’ plague will have some competition over on the other continent.



[Header image provided by Rioriel from Postcards From Azeroth, reproduced here with permission and many thanks. Click here to see the souped-up Postcard version!]


March of the dead


Word just in from Ashenvale – Captain Tarkan’s scouts have found the surviving human from the attack in Demon Fall Canyon. Or, what’s left of him. His remains were found in Talondeep Vale. From the looks of it he was making a run for the Talondeep Pass and just didn’t make it before his injuries caught up with him.

The body had nothing with it other than some minimal survival gear. In other words…the human body was the only body they found. No sign of Lakkara. So…either the human passed her body off to someone else sometime before he died, or…I don’t know what. I’d rather not think about any more possibilities, honestly.

The human was probably trying to make it through the pass into Stonetalon Mountains. I suppose he COULD have been heading for Stardust Spire, but if his goal was to get to a friendly Alliance outpost, considering his injuries, it would have made a lot more sense for him to make a run for Raynewood Retreat or Forest Song, both of which would have been a lot closer. So we have to figure he was headed for Stonetalon.

I’m not sure why, though. I don’t know why Stonetalon rather that somewhere else, especially while he was carrying Lakkara’s remains. But I’m more than a little troubled by the fact that that’s where the business with Grebo got started as well. Somehow or other Stonetalon is in the middle of this.

I’m reassigning Krog from Brackenwall Village to Cliffwalker Post, and sending word to Overlord Cliffwalker that I want Dontrag and Utvoch sent out to do some additional scouting. I want Krog’s detective skills up there – his abilities as an inspector will be a lot more helpful there than with the current goings-on in Dustwallow Marsh – but otherwise I’d rather keep the search efforts limited to those already in the know.

Updates as they become available.


Seed of corruption


I mentioned the other day that I’ve been talking to Draz’Zilb down in Brackenwall Village. Granted, he can be creepy as hell sometimes, but dude knows how to get shit done, and he can be pretty damn handy as times as long as you don’t have to stay in the same room as him for too long. I think this is one of those times. He has something he’s been working on that might turn out to be pretty useful right now.

Odds are, most of you have heard of this spell that warlocks use called Seed of Corruption. Basically it seeds a target with a kind of shadow detonation that hurts the original target and anyone else that’s nearby. Warlocks that are really on top of their game can even cast the spell with an extra wrinkle, so that all those nearby targets caught in the detonation are afflicted with extra shadow damage that rots away at them over time.

Draz’Zilb tells me he’s worked up a way to take this to the nth degree. He believes he’s augmented the spell so that after that initial detonation, those surrounding targets that are afflicted with the additional ticking corruption? Well, after it finishes ticking, THEY detonate too. So, bonus A, the damage from that additional detonation, combined with the initial kaboom and the ticking corruption, would be enough to kill anybody short of a no-kidding-around badass. And more important, bonus B, it creates a potentially unlimited chain.

Think of it: Victim #1 takes the initial seed and goes boom, and the initial burst of damage also hits nearby Victims #2, 3, and 4. Victims #2-4 get whittled down by the additional ticking corruption, then THEY all detonate as well with a second shadow burst. And now…THAT explosion hits nearby Victims #5, 6, 7, 8, and 9. Who also get afflicted with corruption and take a time-bomb seed of their own. Repeat. Repeat. Keep repeating until there’s no one else around to spread the corruption chain to.

Obviously, if you don’t mind waiting a little, this makes for a potentially awesome one-step method for wiping out groups of enemies on a massive scale. I’m looking right at you, Stormwind.

That’s assuming it works, of course. First we have to test it out to make sure Draz’Zilb is right. So we need to give it a test run in a somewhat controlled setting. Then, it’s game on.


Midnight oil


You have logged on.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good evening, Warchief.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or should I say good morning.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Greetings and salutations, Warchief!

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, hi, whatever

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Whoever the hell you are

[Guild][Lorthemar] Um…

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Isn’t this terribly late for you to be up, Warchief? It’s nearly 3am.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I could ask you the same question

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Technically, I suppose, but you must understand, dear Warchief, I *am* undead. My people don’t really require sleep, strictly speaking.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Huh. Lucky you

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It has its benefits, I will grant.

[Guild][Lorthemar] As for me, Warchief, it’s actually an interesting story.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Don’t really care why you’re not off in your jammies, new guy

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I take it you’ve not been resting well of late?

[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You could say that

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Just as well for me to stay up…get some things done…better off being productive than trying to sleep and finding out what delights are waiting for me under my eyelids

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] What dreams may come, indeed.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m sorry these past days have been so stressful for you, Warchief.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, well

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If I can be of any assistance in these trying times, I am of course at your disposal.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Funny you should say that

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh really?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] That’s actually why I logged in

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Was kind of hoping you’d be on

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, once again, really?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The humans were behind this, you know, Sylvanas

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] One way or another, they did this

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] They were right here under my nose, watching me

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And I gave her to them

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Warchief, be reasonable. Clearly there’s no way you could have known, even if they *did* learn of your plans through the guild.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Maybe, maybe not

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Doesn’t really matter

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] But these humans…

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The internment camps, the sacking of Taurajo…how many more atrocities and petty indignities? Now this.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Their track record is, admittedly, less than shining.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’ve had enough

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’ve had as much of them as I can stand

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Yes sir…

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I know you’ve given them a pretty foul treatment yourself.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Warchief?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m not sure I follow…

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Sylvanas, please don’t talk to me like I’m naïve.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I may not be the deepest thinker in the world, but I’m not a fool, and I’m sure as hell not blind

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I know you’ve spent years conducting those revolting experiments of yours in Hillsbrad and who knows where else

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Using humans as guinea pigs, all that

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Warchief, I assure you, rumors of those experiments were exaggerated.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And whatever indiscretions occurred were put to a halt long ago.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You’re not getting it

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] That plague you were working on

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] It’s a go again

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Um…

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You mean to say, Warchief…?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You and your plague are back in business, Sylvanas.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You understand me?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Yes, sir…

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I don’t need to know the details

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Just do whatever you have to do

[Guild][Lorthemar] Um, Warchief, begging your pardon…

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And I ESPECIALLY don’t need to hear backtalk from YOU, red-shirt

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If you’re sure, Warchief, I will of course carry out your wishes…

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Good

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You know, it’s ironic, come to think of it

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] What is, sir?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You working on a “plague,” how everyone shit a brick being appalled by it

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] But you know?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Azeroth was already plagued with a much worse infection

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The humans

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] It’s time we fight fire with fire

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Of course, Warchief. As ever, I am always at the service of the Horde.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Good

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m going to go, see if I can get a little rest

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Probably wise. I suspect there will be long days ahead for us all.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m pretty sure they’ve already started

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Rest well, Garrosh.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Night, Sylvanas

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Night, new guy

[Guild][Lorthemar] Dark Lady, you can’t seriously plan to do this?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Quiet, Lor’themar.

[Guild][Lorthemar] But did you hear him?

You have logged out.



[Header image provided by Angelya from Revive and Rejuvenate, used here with permission and many thanks.]


Lifetime piling up


I killed her. Me and my big mouth.

Not literally. But I might as well have.  t was enough that she died because I left myself vulnerable when Grebo attacked. But Grebo just BEING there was my fault.

I had to go yammering on in guild chat about where I was going with her. Not even thinking about who might be there listening in. How many times do I have to run into people pretending to be something they’re not on the internet before I get it through my thick skull? And so, there they were, Varian Wrynn and Jaina Proudmoore, right there in my own guild, soaking it all in. I might as well have sent them fucking invitations and enclosed a poisoned blade. And lo and behold, a pack of humans turn up out of nowhere.

It’s the only thing that makes sense. That’s the only time I talked to anyone about where we were going, other than my mother herself and a few of the guards we passed leaving Orgrimmar and traveling through Ashenvale.

I know what you’re thinking – how to account for Grebo. He’s still an orc, right? So why would he be working with humans if that’s who’s behind this? And see, that’s where you’re just looking at the surface. Grebo WAS an orc. That thing that attacked me in Demon Fall Canyon? That was Grebo’s reanimated corpse. I’ve been talking to Draz’Zilb out of Brackenwall Village – he’s no stranger to necromancy, and he tells me that when someone is resurrected, there’s a whole range of possibilities as far as how much of the actual person is still there. Maybe it’s the entire being come back whole. Maybe it’s an empty shell, walking around wearing the original person’s face. Maybe it’s any of a million points in between, any combination of memories, motivations, personality, will…anyway, he tells me it wouldn’t be much of a stretch at all to rig things so whoever you’re raising is going to be perfectly cooperative, whoever you happen to be.

No shock to anyone, I’ve been going over and over this in my head all day. I ended up needing to get out of my war room and get some air, so I took Mortimer for a ride around Durotar. I was planning just to fly around some and hopefully clear my head, but on one loop around we passed over Tiragarde Keep. And I happened to look down.


So I landed. An hour later and I was still there. Not even rushing around, just taking my time, wandering through the keep, cutting down any humans I could find.

Usually we’ve been content to leave this human outpost alone – it doesn’t pose any real threat, and the humans there are weak even by human standards, and in a way they’re handy to have around as a training exercise for some of our up-and-comers out of Razor Hill. Send the young blood over, have them take out some easy human pickings, we keep the cockroach population under control and the kids feel like they’ve accomplished something. Everybody wins.

Not today. Today I’m in no mood to humor them. Today I’m done tolerating their presence, these pathetic vermin daring – PRESUMING – to claim a foothold in our lands. These two-legged rats from Theramore (THERAMORE), sitting here almost within eyeshot of Orgrimmar… I’m done with them. They’re like animals – every action I’ve ever known them to take shows it. WORSE than animals, even – at least a dog understands loyalty, and a wyvern has some instinctive sense of honor. Like animals, but less. So I slaughtered them like animals.

It was a good afternoon. While it lasted.

A long time ago I swore I’d make the humans regret the crimes they’ve committed against our people.  Somehow I let those words become just that: words.  Got lazy, grew complacent, contented myself with sitting around on a throne made out of the skull of an enemy I didn’t even kill myself and puffing out my chest like I’d done enough.

No more.

Legionnaire Nazgrim finally returned home to Orgrimmar last week after extended duty in Vashj’ir. I’m promoting him to General and putting him in charge of the initial stages of what comes next. I’ll be laying out our military plans in the next few days, but I don’t plan on wasting much time before we get to work. I’ve already wasted enough. It’s time I got to work doing what I should have done long ago.

Kill them all.


Where (almost) everybody knows your name


This is what I get for trying to take my mind off things.


You have logged on.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh nice

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I had to farm Regional Convention quite a few times, but it ended up working out.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] hi pwn

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Greetings, Warchief.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey boss

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] it looks really good

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] especially with that chest

[Guild][Lorthemar] Just so I understand, you mean you’re able to change your armor to look like other armor?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I still need to work on a briefcase off-hand. Right now I’m still rather mismatched.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Evening, Garrosh.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] how are you holding up?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yes its transmog

[Metzen] has logged on.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Eh

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’ll live

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey metzen

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Greetings, Metzen.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] How have you been?

[Guild][Lorthemar] So how does it work?

[Guild][Metzen] heya

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] are you sure you’re okay to be playing?

[Guild][Metzen] not bad

[Guild][Metzen] busy with work

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I mean I know you’re dealing with a lot right now

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, don’t feel like you have to log on because of the guild.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you have to go to a tailor

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Basically you need to acquire a piece of gear whose appearance you’d like to duplicate; then you pay a fee to alter the appearance of the gear you want to change.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah we can hold down the fort here

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m okay

[Guild][Metzen] oh crap, you’re not talking transmog, are you?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol yup

[Guild][Lorthemar] Is the fee in real money or game money?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ah, understood…what kind of work do you do? Not to be nosey, of course.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Metzen.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well not okay but I’ll manage

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] They have been for about an hour.

[Guild][Metzen] ugh

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] game money

[Guild][Metzen] no its ok

[Guild][Lorthemar] Ah.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Right now it’s either this or sit around doing nothing but stewing

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah I can see that

[Guild][Metzen] i guess you can say i’m a supervisor at my work, we do a lot of different things really

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So I figure I might as well log on and try to distract myself

[Guild][Metzen] a lot of the work is sort of confidential so i cant be too specific

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you don’t like transmog?

[Guild][Metzen] i dont mind it

[Guild][Metzen] if you want to waste your time on it thats your business

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] They haven’t built micro-transactions into the game for real money that way, Lorthemar.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Not yet

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] transmog is pretty much a cash sink they built in

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Give them time.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, no kidding.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Understood, Metzen. I certainly don’t want to intrude.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh and belated greetings, Omgipwnedurface.

[Guild][Metzen] its fine

[Guild][Lorthemar] And hello, Metzen.

[Guild][Metzen] right now i’m mostly trying to sort out plans for sort of a reclamation project in hillsbrad

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] They will eventually, just you watch.

[Guild][Metzen] hey lorthemar

[Guild][Metzen] are you new?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Interesting.

[Guild][Lorthemar] No.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’ve done a fair bit of work there myself.

[Guild][Lorthemar] I’m pretty sure I joined the guild before you did, actually.

[Guild][Metzen] oh lol

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] anyway BQ that set of yours is coming along great, I still want to find a good uniform to transmog for myself

[Guild][Metzen] i guess you’re probably not on a lot

[Guild][Metzen] so i just havent seen you much

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If you think a sounding board would help, I’d be happy to help as best I can. Depending on how much you’re at liberty to say, of course.

[Guild][Lorthemar] I’m on every day.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Usually for several hours at a time.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You didn’t get something from your nurse class quests, Nightengayle?

[Guild][Metzen] oh

[Guild][Metzen] nice life, then

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] heh

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] haha

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I did, but those were all sort of the standard scrubs, I think I’d like to find one of those white one-piece ones

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I really do like him

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] um actually

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Spazzle, check your whispers a moment?

[Guild][Metzen] nah it should be fine livindead – just that we have some new workers there and their a little erratic

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh ok brb

[Guild][Metzen] just have to keep them on a short leash is all

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh *those*

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yeah

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I’ve seen a few of them around

[Guild][Metzen] i think proudleslie has one of those actually

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] They’re rare.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Why am I not surprised?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Don’t remind me

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Metzen, I’m very familiar with that problem. Perhaps if you could say a bit more about where in Hillsbrad you’re focusing your attention, I could help offer a few organizational suggestions.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] do you know where they come from

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Silvermoon

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] haha

[Guild][Lorthemar] What does that mean?

[Guild][Metzen] hmm maybe

[Guild][Metzen] sometimes its good to hear from someone who’s not involved with something

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] They’re a random drop in the Nevada sub-zone.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Exactly, Metzen.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh pooh

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You can find them on the AH sometimes, but they’re usually pretty expensive since they’re a pain to farm up.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But also fairly high in demand.

[Guild][Metzen] i seriously dont understand why people sink so much time and money into that kind of thing

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yeah that makes sense

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] still a pain

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Right there with you, Metzen

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I understand why you’d like to get one.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Admittedly, most of the female gear models look a bit conservative for my tastes as well.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Personally I would run instances in a pink dress if it gave me the best stats

[Guild][Metzen] lmao pwn

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Or hell, Outland-looking gear

[Guild][Lorthemar] I don’t see what’s wrong with the outfits they’re talking about, really.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hang on, don’t get crazy.

[Guild][Metzen] no, stay with the pink dress

[Guild][Metzen] it suits you better

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] haha

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | GarroshFuck you, Metzen

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] hah

[Guild][Metzen] hehe

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Wait a minute

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Did anyone else see that?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] see what?

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, wait, that was kind of peculiar.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | GarroshFuck you, Metzen

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh weird

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …

[Guild][Metzen] yeah ok you made the joke once that’s enough haha

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, hold on

[Guild][Lorthemar] Um, what’s going on?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck you, Bartleby

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] wtf

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck you, Nightengayle

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey hold on, what did I do?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] double wtf!!

[Guild][Lorthemar] See, this is why I wonder about everyone here really being your friend…

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck you, Livindeadgrl

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Garrosh, seriously, what the hell?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] no no I know what he’s doing

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Garrosh.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck you, Lorthemar

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] What is he doing, then?

[Guild][Lorthemar] Well I never!

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] control group

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Garrosh.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay now

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | GarroshFuck you, Mezten

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Warchief, please stop.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] what the hell is going on?

[Guild][Metzen] wtf dude it stopped being funny already

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Garrosh, please listen, we have an opportunity here if you just take a moment.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] really chief, you maybe want to listen to her

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] pwn I know you’re upset right now but it wont help you to push away your friends ok?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Warchief, please, you need to stop.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | GarroshFuck you, Metzen

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ugh I tried

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OMG I KNOW WHO YOU ARE MOTHERFUCKER

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Could someone please explain what the hell is going on?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] -sigh-

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ??

[Guild][Metzen] the hell?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] it’s varian

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] …What?


[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And there goes Gilneas…

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] metzen is varian

[Guild][Metzen] dude are you going to explain what the hell you’re screaming about or have you just gone off the deep end?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | GarroshFUCK YOU, VARIAN

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh shit…

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hang on tabbing out

[Guild][Metzen] …

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] !!!

[Guild][Lorthemar] Wait, seriously?

[Guild][Metzen] how the hell did you know that

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] THE PURPLE PROSE DOESN’T LIE, YOU SON OF A BITCH

[Guild][Metzen] hold on, what do you care that I’m varian wrynn?!

[Guild][Lorthemar] Good heavens, it’s true?!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] omg garrosh!!

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] For FUCK’S SAKE stop acting like you don’t know, human!

[Guild][Metzen] garrosh?!?!?!?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] LIVE AND IN PERSON, BITCH!

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well maybe not in person

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] BUT YOU GET THE IDEA

[Guild][Metzen] your an even bigger idiot than i thought

[Guild][Metzen] if you seriously think i would ever voluntarily join a guild

[Guild][Metzen] with you or any of you horde scum!!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] HEY

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] ok back

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh fuck have I got some bad news for you, asshole

[Guild][Lorthemar] I will have you know, sir, I am a proud leader of the Horde!

[Guild][Metzen] holy shit, you’re THAT lorthemar?!

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Where could you possibly have gone to in the middle of *this*?

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Wait, he is?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] what lorthemar?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] news to me

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] -sigh-

[Guild][Lorthemar] I am indeed, sir!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] well ok whatevers going on with lorthemar, I’m rocking the horde pride too!

[Guild][Metzen] THE FUCK

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh well, cat’s out of the bag now.

[Guild][Metzen] how many of you are there in this damned guild

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] garona halforcen here, don’t believe we’ve met

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At least one more, Varian.  Lady Sylvanas Windrunner, at your service.

[Guild][Metzen] OMG GARONA

[Guild][Metzen] and sylvanas??

[Guild][Metzen] wtf!!!

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Dude, you fucking joined a guild called <Warchief>

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh hey varian

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Either you knew who you were hooking up with, or you really are cosmically stupid, seriously

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] last time I saw your dad he told me something for you

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] he’s kind of got you there

[Guild][Metzen] …

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ‘AAAAAAAAA!!!!!’

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] lmao

[Guild][Metzen] omg

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] haha

[Guild][Metzen] listen you filthy half-breed, you just wait

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] until what?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you type mean things at me?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] ^_^

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Okay, *that* was good.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah I’m thinking there’s not too much harm you can do by typing

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] thanks BQ

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] hahaha

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay so as fun as it is to give you an earful, Varian

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] and by the way, fuck you

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh and hey varian

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I think it’s time I show you the door

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] quick pro tip before you go – erase your internet history

[Guild][Metzen] ok listen orc scum

[Metzen] has been kicked from the guild.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] BAM

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] rofl

[Guild][Lorthemar] Huzzah!

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Okay, so that was pretty fun.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] so also

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hmm?

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] that was totally true what I was saying, about how there wasn’t much harm varian could do by typing

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] well yeah, sticks and stones

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] key detail being, not much harm HE could do by typing

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] ME, on the other hand…

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh man.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Ohhhh…

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] What did you do, Spazzle?

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I figured he was about to get kicked so I tabbed over before he had time to go offline, and um

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hehe

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] kind of backloaded a virus onto his computer

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OMG hahaha!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] no way

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] so yeah

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] in about five minutes the virus is going to access his address book

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] and e-mail a catalog of all the porn on his computer to everyone he knows

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] lmao

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] omg

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Dude that’s awesome

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] that

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] is

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] epic

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Spazzle, I think I love you. ^_^

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] 3P1C!!!

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, okay, I know it was awesome and all, Garona, but that’s no call for retard-speak

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol ok

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, so as much as I needed a good laugh today

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Time to get serious again

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] uh oh

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] What’s up?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, uh oh.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Do you two want to explain

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] how it is that apparently YOU knew that guy was Varian

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] and didn’t bother to tell me?

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh man.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Shit just got real.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] sorry boss

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That was my doing, Warchief.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Uh huh…I’m listening

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  “Metzen” had said a few things last week that made me suspicious, so I had Spazzle trace his IP address.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] He confirmed that Metzen was logging on from Stormwind.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] From there, it was simple enough…

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, so that covers the “how did you know” part

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m still waiting on the “why didn’t you fucking say something” part

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I didn’t intend to withhold the information from you indefinitely, Warchief.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah chief, we really were going to tell you

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I simply wanted to make absolutely sure by watching him a bit more in guild.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Also, I knew you would likely become upset when you learned Varian was in our guild…

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah go FIGURE that

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] and I thought I could find a way to make you aware without your kicking him out immediately.

[Guild][Lorthemar] It got quiet all of a sudden.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Have to admit, you do have kind of a temper, boss…

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, so first of all

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Are there any MORE juicy little secrets I should know about?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] well…

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OUT WITH IT

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] that usually means the officers are talking

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] well I also ran a trace on proudleslie

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh that’s right, they joined together

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Don’t tell me she’s Alliance too

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] She is indeed.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] um yeah

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I traced her ip to theramore

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Theramore

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OMG

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Ohhhh wait, this is making a lot more sense now.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Is Proudleslie Manageurdeath?!

[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh? About what?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Holy shit did that fucker actually roll an alt just to sneak into my guild?!

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Um…who is this you’re talking about?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] no no not him

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] garrosh’s old gm

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah so on top of everything, is he one of those dudes who run around with a girl toon? Because that’s kind of iffy if you ask me

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] probably you

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] No.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] no

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] No.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] not him, chief

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Theramore, Warchief.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Who else do you know from Theramore?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Someone who would be playing the game with Varian.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh…

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OH

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh for fuck’s sake, THAT slut?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yup

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well to be fair, she…never mind. Yes, Warchief.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Great. Just great

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I do wish you hadn’t kicked him out so quickly, though, Warchief.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Why?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Why would we possibly want to have him sitting here in our midst?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If we could have kept him without letting on that we knew his identity, I believe we could have plied valuable information from him about Alliance operations.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] she was already working on it

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] I have to admit, it could have been a good way to get some inside information.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No, you’re not getting it

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You’re not getting it at all

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] not getting what?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] There was already too much inside information being passed around in this guild.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Warchief?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I need to go

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I need to go now.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Warchief, what is it?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I’ve got a bad feeling about this

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] For goodness’ sake, can you stop quoting machinima for two minutes?

You have logged off.


Because I’m a glutton for punishment


Yesterday mom & I stade over night at Son Spring Post last night. Mom said it was a long walk back home to the villag and it would be good to rest here first. I dont think I wood of got to tired but maby she just wanted to visit the other place. She was talking a lot to the other grown ups so I gess maby she nose some of them.

They hav a whole other villag here and they have a lake just lik ours ownly its not our lak its different. They gave us grild mud fish for dinner & it was good but not good like great mom Geyah makes but maby they don’t catch fish as good as ours cuz they don’t have our lake just another lake thats not ours.

I think when we get home I will go fishing with dranosh if he dosnt still have a cold

When we left we walked down from the road to look at the big white mountain. I heard people talk about it but I never saw it before they call it Osha Goon. It was really big & white like they said and there was grass all around it and lots & lots of clef hoofs walking around.

there was one big group of grown up clef hoofs with some babies following it. mom told me to look at them. There was one big grown up one with white fur & then some more brown ones they wernt as big as the white one but they were still grown ups. Mom sed the big white one was the pack mother. Mom sed the white one was very old & she will probally die soon and then one of the girl clef hoofs that are younger will become the new pack mother.

Mom says the people in Son Spring Post watched the clef hoof pack and gave the girl clef hoofs names, Osha & Banthar & Beru & Mumaki & Thromka. Mom want ed me too look at them & see if I can gess wich one will be the new pack mom so I picked one and mom sed that was the one they called Osha.

I asked her if I pikt the rite one & she sed she don’t know we’ll have to find out. I asked her witch one she thot wood be the new pack mom & she pointed to one & sed her name is Banthar. I asked her why Banthar & she said because the other clef hoofs acted mad when the babies were bad and when the eleks came close. She sed Banthar didn’t let small things bother her & she sed the ones who end up being the leader are the ones who can endure.

Maby mom is rite cuz she is smart & knows stuff like that but I still think its stoopid they have to have a new pack mom, I think the old pack mom should just stay cuz its dumb she’s going to go away and then they have a new pack mom when they already have a pack mom. I gess animals are not to smart.

So we walked more cuz mom sed it was going to get hot soon so we should get home. I asked her how she knew and she sed to lisen. there was a buzzing sound somewhere & mom sed there is a bug that makes that sound when its going to be hot. I wonder what kind of bug it is and why it only makes the buzzing noise when its going too be hot and how it knows its going to be hot in the first place

When we got home mom sed she was tired & I should go play & she is going to take a nap becuz she is tired. But I think she might be getting a cold cuz she was koffing a lot when we got close to Garradar. a lot of the kids at school wer sick this week so maybe there is a bug going around only not like the bug that makes the buzzing noise but maby it is if they have a fever and the bug knows they are getting hot. I hope they get better soon & also Dranosh so we can go fishing. And mom too cuz she’s cool even tho she is old.


Putting my old journal away now. If I get the bright idea to dig it back out again, somebody slap some sense into me. Without the slapping, though, since I’d probably end up breaking your jaw before I would think to appreciate the concern.



[Header image provided by Khizzara from Blog of the Treant, used here with permission and many thanks.]


All that you can’t leave behind


I stopped at Silverwind Refuge after I left Demon Fall Canyon, and left orders for Captain Tarkan to blanket the zone with as many scouting teams as he could pull together. I’ll send word over to Hellscream’s Watch to send out air patrols as well to watch the borders, but I can’t imagine that last human could keep traveling at much of a pace. Not if he’s as injured as he had to be, and not if he’s weighed down by carrying…never mind. Point is, I’ll be surprised if he’s not still in Ashenvale somewhere.

Grebo’s a whole other matter. He could be anywhere. So next up is an alert to all the border patrols. Notices to all the outpost commanders. Who to look for, and where he was last seen, and setting a messenger network to warn all the nearby stations if he’s spotted anywhere, in case he gets away again.

See. I’m staying on top of this. Doing the job. Keeping my mind on the job. Checking off all the boxes, hitting all the right protocols. Textbook.

Not letting myself think about that sound, from Grebo’s axe. Or of Lakkara crying out. Or how 99 times out of 100 I would never, ever let my back get turned to an oncoming enemy like that. Not going to think about all the ways I would usually square my body and turn to meet him and not give anybody else a chance to get close.

And I’m not letting myself start thinking about what they want with her. Why they would take her. Or who they even are. Or the fact that the last dead body they took an interest in was Grebo himself.

And I’m not thinking about that damn Demon Fall Canyon, that spirits-forsaken place that’s orphaned me twice now, on the exact same spot. Or how beautiful it’ll all look covered in bright, cleansing flames.

I’m not thinking about any of that at all.

I have work to do.



[Header image provided by Rioriel from Postcards From Azeroth, reproduced here with permission and many thanks. Click here to see the souped-up Postcard version!]


When a good orc goes to war


Here’s an ugly fact: If you’ve spent enough time in battle – past the point where you get the rookie jitters, straight through to that point where the sight of blood doesn’t phase you anymore – you start to be able to hear the difference between types of blows. The flesh wounds, the cleaving slices, the glancing cuts, the deep hacks that hit bone…eventually you know just from the sound when a blow’s been landed that no garden variety mortal is going to walk away from.

Eventually you know that sound. You never mistake it.

I was hearing that sound a lot when my mother and I first arrived in Demon Fall Canyon. Like always, the place was crawling with lesser demons…droves of these piddly weak-ass infernals and succubi and felguards. When I came here once before, I mostly made my way around them – the pansy-ass fuckers were at least bright enough not to want anything to do with me – but this time I didn’t have much interest in sneaking around. So, we left a nice wide trail of chopped-up demons all the way to Grom’s monument.

I kept my distance and let Lakkara go up to the monument by herself. She knelt down next to it and read Thrall’s plaque, then cried for a while. When she finally composed herself again, she started talking quietly. I didn’t really try to listen in, only picked up little bits and pieces. Something about doing what she had to do to keep their son safe and untainted…that she was happy he found his way back, like she’d always hoped he would. That she wished she could have been there beside him at the end.

I didn’t go near the monument. I didn’t want to disturb her.

I was mostly off in my own thoughts and didn’t notice the rustling in the surrounding bushes until it was too late. Something hit me from behind – I couldn’t see right away – and then a voice from one of the nearby cliffs called out to me by name, and yelled something about me being a shortsighted fool, and I would lead the Horde to ruin because I wasn’t willing to make the tough choices. Monologuing away, true to bad guy form, which of course just gave me time to get my wits about me and see who it was.

Guess who. “Former General” Grebo, up and kicking again. I swear, doesn’t anybody stay dead anymore? Other than the ones who deserve better?

Meanwhile, I’d also been able to size up who had jumped me. There were four humans, all dressed in black, who’d gotten in a few hits to disorient me before I knew what was happening. Now, though, I’d gotten my second wind and had Gorehowl out. And then there were three humans. And then there were two.

While I was making short work of Grebo’s human lackeys, Grebo himself leapt down from the cliff behind me. I just caught him landing out of the corner of my eye as I was spinning to cut down another one of the humans – they really DO drop easily – but I managed to put a little TOO much energy into my swing, spun more than I’d meant to on the follow-through, and turned my back to Grebo as a result. Rookie mistake. I know better than that. And while I regained my footing, I could hear the footsteps running up behind me.

And then another set of footsteps. And a voice yelling “No!”

And then that sound.

Eventually…you know that sound. You never mistake it.

And then my mother’s voice crying out. And then nothing.

Lakkara collapsed to the ground. I turned and lunged at Grebo, but that final lackey of his managed to lock me up for a second. (Throwdown is considerably less fun when you’re on the other end of it.) Grebo must have realized that all of a sudden this wasn’t the day to try his luck, and started to take off. The couple of seconds I took separating the last human from his arms gave Grebo enough time to get a decent head start on me, and by the time I could close the gap at all, he was able to duck around a corner and disappear. Into a cave, or the shadows, or who knows where. Somehow he lost me and I wasn’t going to start wasting time chasing shadows.

I tried to hurry back to the monument as fast as I could, even though I knew deep down that time really wasn’t going to be an issue. When I got back, the armless human was laying in his heap, along with two of the others, but one of his friends was gone – maybe I was a little quick to assume I’d one-shot them all? There was blood on the ground where he fell, and more trailing along to a second bloody puddle where Lakkara had fallen. Only…no Lakkara.

I ran around Demon Fall Canyon like a lunatic, looking for bodies, blood, scraps of cloth. Tracks, as if I was a fucking hunter and would know how to follow them in the first place. Anything. All I could find was more of those damned weakling demons, and the ones that had the bad luck to be within arm’s reach found themselves swapped out for a pile of demon parts real quick. But no sign of my mother. No human. Nothing.

I’m back in Orgrimmar now. My head hasn’t stopped spinning. There isn’t one single part of this that makes sense, but I’m going to find out what’s going on, and how this happened. And someone’s going to pay.



[Header image provided by Angelya from Revive and Rejuvenate, used here with permission and many thanks.]


Locks in Socks: Live (Sort of)


A couple weeks ago, when I was in the middle of Garrosh’s Poetry Challenge, I had gotten a lot of positive feedback on one poem in particular – Locks in Socks. Personally I don’t see why, it was really mostly a big pile of nonsense, but whatever, I guess you people like that kind of thing. But among my mountains of fan mail there was one offer I just couldn’t turn away. NO NOT GARONA, I’ve been holding her at arm’s length for months now. Sheesh. No, this came from @PixelExecution, from the blog PixelatedExecutioner – an offer to record a live performance of Locks in Socks for me to post here on the Command Board.

Obviously this was too good to pass up, and so, after no small amount of time (and many outtakes that rumor has it might find their way here at some point!), here is the finished product:

Major thanks and huge props to Pix for putting in the time to put this together. Everybody should definitely shoot him a tweet or leave a comment on his blog with some much-deserved praise for this little gem.



[Header image provided by Khizzara from Blog of the Treant, used here with permission and many thanks.]