Daily Archives: August 6, 2012

Back to the Faire


The Darkmoon Faire is back this week…actually, they’re not “back” anywhere, they’re the same damn place they always are nowadays, on that freaky-ass island of theirs. So I don’t know why we make a big deal over it “coming back,” considering they could just as well leave the damn portals up all the time so people can just go there whenever. But I guess Silas Darkmoon must have some reason, maybe it’s a union thing, who knows.

Anyway, since things are a little quiet these days, I figured I might as well give myself a little R&R and swing by the Faire again. I went and got Gurtash from the orphanage and brought him with me, since he seemed to like the place the first time, and off we went.

Of course, within ten minutes of us arriving there, Gurtash had spotted some other kids and was off to the races. That left me to wander around on my own for a while. I was hoping that we’d be coming up on the time for the Deathmatch fight, but no such luck, it was still a ways off. So I made my way over to that gnoll fortune teller, Sayge, to see if I could get anything useful out of him. Last time I was here, I got some cryptic-ass fortune that didn’t make much sense even in a fortune-cookie kind of way, so I figured I’d take another shot and see what he’d have to say if I played along for another one of his moral quiz show things.

So okay, here we go with the questions he asked me. Feel free to play along at home:

You have been tasked by your liege to guard his fields of corn from poachers and thieves. One night on patrol, you stumble across a haggard man in thread-bare clothing stealing corn from the field. You quickly confront him, and he immediately begs for his life. He claims he is stealing the corn to feed his family since the lord of the land – your liege – demands too much in taxes. Your liege is indeed known for his harsh taxes throughout the land.

Make your choice.

  1. I slay the man on the spot as my liege would expect me to do, as he is nothing more than a thief and a liar.
  2. I turn over the man to my liege for punishment, as he had broken the law of the land and it is my sworn duty to enforce it.
  3. I confiscate the corn he has stolen, warn him that stealing is a path towards doom and destruction, but I let him go to return to his family.
  4. I allow the man to take enough corn to feed his family for a couple of days, encouraging him to leave the land.

Now personally, I’ve got no reservations about laying the smackdown on this guy, but I kinda got the feeling that this was one of those questions where they want you to show you’re kind and merciful and that kind of bullshit. So I figured, what the hell, let’s go with option #4. It’s really kind of the lamest option there, but whatever, Sayge is never going to know the difference, right?

Moving on:

You alone have defeated a terrible beast that has been ravaging the countryside, taking its ear as a trophy. You later learn that your liege had offered a reward for the beast’s death, and that a kind but destitute knight who you know is trying to support a family claims the beast’s kill as his own. You have no real need for the money yourself, but you know that the destitute knight is lying for his own personal gain.

Make your choice.

  1. I would show my liege the beast’s ear and claim the beast’s death as my own, taking the reward for my own use. It is wrong to claim a deed as your own that someone else in fact did.
  2. I would show my liege the beast’s ear and claim the beast’s death as my own – after all, I did slay it. I would then offer some of the reward to the destitute knight to help his family.
  3. I would remain silent about the kill and allow the knight to claim the reward to aid his family.

Okay, so being warm and fuzzy is all well and good, but no way am I going to let somebody else take credit for my kill. Luckily, this one gives you an option where you get to split the difference – take the credit you deserve, but also be charitable to the poor destitute fucker. Which is actually fine by me – in this situation, I’d be in it for the honor, not the money, and if this guy could use some help, fine. So, option #2 it is. Glory for me, some pocket change for him, everybody’s happy.

Once I’d answered the questions, Sayge gave me a written fortune: “What happened to the fortune that was supposed to be written here? Yep. Old Gods.” Ha ha, very funny, Sayge. Nice job having that ready to go, though. Didn’t know he read the blog.

Anyway, while I was rolling my eyes at the fortune, he cast some kind of spell on me. I’d heard he usually gives some kind of buff to people when they answer his questions, but I’m not sure exactly what it was he put on me. In fact, I’m kind of fuzzy about what happened for the next hour or so. I mean, I didn’t black out or anything – I remember walking around the faire some more, and running into Spazzle, who was going around with his cousin, and hanging out with them for a while, and then eventually Gurtash coming back. But I’m kind of hazy on the details, like when I try to think of what I talked about with Spazzle for instance, it just gets kind of foggy. Not sure what to make of that. Oh well.

Anyhow, like I said, Gurtash caught up with me after a while. Turns out that when he ran off, he was hanging out with a bunch of girls who were going around the fairgrounds together. Which, you know, atta boy. Kid IS thirteen, after all. As it happens, it looks like the kid’s taken a shine to this one draenei girl. Which…okay, maybe not the ideal choice, but I get it. I’d be lying if I said I never had a peek over to that side of the fence when I was his age. Plus, at least he’s not going for a human. Because that would just be gross.

A draenei, though…well, first of all, he’s still just a kid, so whatever. It’s not like anything’s going to come of it in the long run. And even if it did, and this was the start of some lifelong thing or whatever, it’s not like races have never mixed before. Hell, Garona is half orc and half draenei.

Um…wait a minute.

Okay, yeah, I’ve got to nip this thing in the bud. No good can come of this shit.

On our way back to Orgrimmar. I may or may not be assigning a guard to the kid. We’ll see.