Monthly Archives: October 2012

Fashionably late


So after this week’s fiasco, Baine rounded up his braves and went back to Mulgore, and Vol’jin rounded up his trolls and took them back to the Echo Isles, other than the handful who were staying here in Orgrimmar in the Valley of Spirits. Malkorok’s been going around the city working on recruiting and stepping up the production of weapons, armor, and siege engines.

Captain Gharga arrived back home with the Horde fleet, and after a little time for the crews to catch some break time on land, I had General Nazgrim take command of the fleet and take it back out on a sweep across a number of naval targets. Since the Alliance fleet was weakened in the last battle, I want to strike while the iron is hot and keep pressing the battle to them.

Meanwhile, in the middle of all this, who should finally show up in Orgrimmar than everybody’s favorite mental defectives, Dontrag and Utvoch. Check this out. They came strolling on into Orgrimmar today, fresh from Stonetalon or Ashenvale or wherever the fuck they were that I don’t care about, and they were all, “Hey, we heard there was a huge party going on over our big victory! Which way to the feasts?”

Mokvar and Eitrigg stopped me before I beat them both to death.

Jury is still out on whether that was a good or a bad thing.




[Header image provided by Khizzara from Blog of the Treant, used here with permission and many thanks.]


Turn of the tide


Well THIS has been an ugly turn, let me just say.

So as I was saying last time, I wasn’t exactly thrilled that the Alliance were able to squirm out from under their imminent deaths-by-kraken, but I could still deal with that. Their counteroffensive on Durotar got thoroughly slapped back, they lost a ton of ships, Horde losses were minimal, fine. Would have been nice if we could have polished them off entirely, but still, worst spin you could put on our side was it was a draw, best spin you could put on theirs is they avoided a total fucking catastrophe. All good.

But this? This is going to stick in my craw for a while.

By the way, what the hell is a craw?

Anyway. I gathered up some troops to bring down to Northwatch Hold, but once we were under way, I took off ahead of everyone and pushed my worg Malak to race down there as fast as she could. Malkorok, Baine, and Vol’jin kept fairly close behind me (you should have seen Baine’s kodo’s little legs go – would have been kind of endearing if I wasn’t so pissed off at the time). We ended up well ahead of any of the other soldiers.  And in the end, none of us made it all the way there.

I stopped at a distance once Northwatch was clearly within view. Malkorok, Baine, and Vol’jin had the good sense to keep their distance while I took it all in. The Alliance flag was already flying there again, and the place was swarming with water elementals. More happy deliveries from Jaina.

How the hell did this happen? We had every tactical advantage. We had the Alliance on the fucking ROPES, with our foot on their throat. And now? Now there wouldn’t even be any point in having our troops continue on – staging an attempt to retake Northwatch would be a suicide mission at this point.

While I was fuming over all this, one of Baine’s Longrunners arrived with even more happy news – Varian was sending his fleet around to break our blockade. Terrific. I wasn’t interested in letting an ugly situation turn even uglier, so I sent Malkorok back with orders to have our ships withdraw and return home. Don’t think for a minute that THAT order didn’t stick in my throat a little.

Baine turned all happy on me at that point. He thought it meant I was giving up on taking the fight to the Alliance and pushing for the Horde to take its rightful place of dominance. Well, I straightened him out on that count right quick. No way in hell am I abandoning this fight – if anything, we’re stepping it up. More troops, more ships, more weapons, more everything. The Alliance thinks this is over? Fuck that. We’re just getting started.

Baine and Vol’jin didn’t much like the sound of that, and they both did a little more griping before they both turned around and headed home.

And you know something? I’m getting goddamn sick and tired of listening to those two complain. All through this latest campaign, I’ve been defending them to Malkorok for meaning well in their own way, and being loyal and great warriors in their own right. But you know what? This whole deal where I have to listen to the two of them complain every time I make a decision is getting REAL old REAL fast. They were DEAD. Baine was dead.  Vol’jin was dead. Orgrimmar fucking FELL. And I’ve had quite enough of this bullshit where I save the fucking world only to have people bitch and moan like ingrates over the way I’ve gone about doing it.

I’ve already sacrificed too much in the name of saving the Horde to let victory escape us now. I’ve let friends die and enemies live. I’ve thrown away my own honor doing it, because I had to. Because it was either my honor, or the survival of the entire Horde – the entire fucking WORLD. Dranosh Saurfang was a brother to me, but his death was the only way to save the world from flames. It was the only way, so I killed him. And I liked him a whole fucking lot more than I like Baine or Vol’jin.

What difference does it make if Orgrimmar burns at the hands of the demons, or the humans? If the Alliance wins now – if the Horde doesn’t emerge triumphant and strong and in control of its destiny – then Dranosh died for nothing. Cairne died for nothing. Taurajo burned for nothing. ALL of it was for NOTHING.

No. I won’t have it. Not while I’m Warchief. Not on my watch. We’ve paid too high a price already.

We’re pressing on, fighting on, and we’re not stopping, not slowing, not flinching until we win. I promise you that, Dranosh. In your memory. In your honor.

For the Horde.


Two if by sea


Okay, so that didn’t exactly go the way I drew it up on the chalkboard.

Things started off well enough. When the troll scout showed up with word that Alliance ships were headed to Durotar, I took off with Malkorok for Bladefist Bay and sent word to our own ships — including the ones anchored down at Northwatch Hold — to get back here to help with the defense. The only boat at Bladefist Bay when I arrived was a goblin ship — you know, that rickety-looking one that ALWAYS seems to be there. I commandeered it and headed out with Malkorok and a contingent of Kor’kron to meet our ships on the way up from Northwatch.

When we met the other ships — a handful of them, but enough — we could see the Alliance fleet approaching. That’s when I rolled out the surprise welcoming committee for Varian and his boys, courtesy of my shaman. From our ships, they started working their magic, and from the depths of the ocean summoned up kraken. Eight of them, to be exact — vast and hulking and totally, utterly at our command.

The Alliance fleet hardly even knew what hit it.

While the kraken were reducing the enemy ships to flotsam, I decided I wanted to smack a few humans down myself before it was too late, so I pulled my ship alongside one of theirs and jumped over. After I’d taken down a few of the crew I got an extra treat — this was the royal flagship, and lo and behold, up close and personal and ready to have at it, there was Varian Wrynn. We traded blows, just enough for me to REALLY start to look forward to finishing him off once and for all (by the way, fuck you, Varian), but then our battle was interrupted by one of the kraken smashing the flagship to splinters.

I swam back to one of our ships and took in the sight. The kraken were reducing the Alliance fleet to ruins. Only a handful of their ships remained. Alliance survivors from the devastated ships were swimming frantically for the few that were still afloat, while many more of their comrades were well on their way to a fitting end as fish food.

It was all coming together right before my eyes. This was how it would begin. The death of Varian, the fall of the Alliance, the end of any delusion they might ever have had that they could stand against us. Four Horde ships against a dozen or more, victorious with barely a scratch.

And then.

I’d rather not even think about it. But here goes.

I didn’t fully realize what was going on at first. A blue dragon flew over us — it looked like the one we’d seen and wounded on the way to Theramore, and seemed to be carrying a humanoid. And then, all of a sudden, dozens — no, hundreds — of water elementals started to emerge from the sea and swarmed over the kraken, wearing them down and, eventually, killing them, one by one. The dragon continued to fly back and forth, and on one pass, I finally managed to see who it was carrying — Jaina Proudmoore, alive after all. This was her handiwork. Just before she moved too far out of view, I managed to make out a small, pulsing, glowing blue sphere in her hands.

The Focusing Iris.

Oh for fuck’s sake. I mean, come on, Focusing Iris, elementals, can’t fucking ANYONE get their own ideas anymore?

Anyway, I wasn’t about to risk letting the situation at sea get any further out of control. We’d still essentially neutralized an Alliance offensive that had greatly superior numbers, not to mention put their navy back a good number of ships, so if we needed to pull back at that point to regroup, so be it. We turned back and made our way to Bladefist Bay, while the few remaining Alliance ships took off as well. Only problem is, from what we could see, the Alliance ships weren’t sailing due east, like they would if they were planning to head straight back to Stormwind. They were sailing south.

As soon as we landed, I called together as many soldiers as I could gather quickly, plus Vol’jin and Baine, who’d heard what was going on and had come to meet me at the bay. We’re heading down to the Barrens to Northwatch Hold. I’ll update again soon. I’m starting to think that when I do, I’ll be in a very foul mood.


The Razor Hill incident


The party’s still going strong throughout Orgrimmar, but this afternoon I’ve been taking a break from eating, drinking, and making merry to tend to a little business. There have been a few internal security reports from Malkorok that I’ve been needing to go over, but one in particular that came in this morning that I’ve been focusing on.


ATTN: Garrosh Hellscream, glorious Warchief of the Horde

RE: Razor Hill and related investigations

Local security reported last night’s destruction of Razor Hill Inn by explosion. Full investigation conducted earlier today. Findings, conclusions, and recommendations detailed below.


  • Initial report submitted by Orgnil Soulscar at 11:00 PM. Eyewitnesses place explosion at approximately 10:15 to 10:30 PM.
  • At time of explosion, innkeeper Grosk was outside inn, disposing of trash. Explosion threw innkeeper several yards away; suffered multiple light to moderate injuries.
  • Forensics indicate explosion originated from within inn. Remnants of several frag grenades recovered, most from tavern, some from remains of upstairs area.
  • Recovered grenade fragments appear goblin in design, with signs of poor construction.
  • Total 26 bodies recovered from all areas of inn: 2 orc; 4 goblin; 7 tauren; 8 troll; 3 blood elf; 2 forsaken.
  • Among bodies positively identified: Captains Frandis Farley, Undercity; Kelantir Bloodblade, Silvermoon.


  • Blast appears to have occurred as a result of poorly constructed explosives stored improperly in upstairs room of inn. Possible amateurish work by engineering trainee or carelessness by inexperienced soldier. Both would be frequent denizens of Razor Hill based on typical town demographics.
  • Explosion likely exacerbated by several kegs of alcoholic beverages stored haphazardly in tavern.
  • No indications of foul play; however, possibility of Alliance sabotage or treasonous insurgent activity cannot be ruled out 100%.


  • Review training programs for Horde recruits in use and storage of military explosives. Possibly expand requirement of these training programs to ensure all soldiers and conscripts are adequately knowledgeable on proper handling of ordnance.
  • Continued follow-up investigation among related parties, particularly trolls and tauren, in light of recent conspicuous absence of Vol’jin and Baine Bloodhoof from both Orgrimmar and Razor Hill.
  • Reassignment of one to two Kor’kron-trained security personnel to outlying towns and outposts. Ideally all such locations, staff permitting; at minimum, all outposts in close proximity to Orgrimmar or other capital cities.
  • Payment to innkeeper Grosk, as generously as budget will permit, of reimbursement for property damage, rebuilding, and pain and suffering. It would be a shame for a loyal citizen to lose his livelihood through no fault of his own.

As always, any further discoveries will be brought to the Warchief’s attention immediately.

Case classified as CLOSED, with allowance for subsequent addenda.

–Malkorok of the Kor’kron High Guard.


I’ve read over the report a couple times, and I’ll tell you right now, there’s more than one part of this whole thing that doesn’t sit right with me. Not least of all the fact that Kelantir was one of the deaths. She trained under Liadrin, so I kind of feel like after everything we’ve been through lately, I owe it to Liadrin to deliver that news myself. Not looking forward to that conversation.

Malkorok seems pretty satisfied with his investigation – if there’s one thing he’s good at, it’s covering all his bases, not to mention how fast he turned this report around – but he also mentioned some followup work in there.  Might be something to be said for due diligence. In fact, I may see about sending a personal messenger down to Brackenwall Village while we still have some people doing a little back-and-forth in Dustwallow.

Hang on. Visitor.


So that was a troll scout, with news of the urgent variety.

The Alliance is coming.

Naval scouts have just reported an Alliance fleet approaching Bladefist Bay – dozens of ships, including one marked as a royal flagship. Which can mean only one thing: Varian.

The messenger was all worked up and panicking – as it this was a bad thing. Me, I could barely contain my excitement. I’d just assumed I would have to go to Stormwind in order to give an overdue stepping-on to that two-legged, pink-skinned cockroach. I never dreamed he would hop on a ship and come deliver himself to me right here. Crisis? Please. This is a gift. Hell, I’ll have to remember to tell Varian thank you, right before I snap his spindly neck.

I’m heading to Bladefist Bay to lead a force to intercept the Alliance ships at sea, along with a few surprises. I just hope I can get close enough to see the look on that sniveling human’s face when he sees what I have in store for him.

It’s about to be a very good day. The end of history has begun.


The house always wins


One day into our week of festivities, and the party is already in full swing. Citizens from all over the Horde have been flocking to Orgrimmar to join in the celebration, and the roads have been packed with jubilant people. You can’t walk down a street without passing multiple barbeque pits and makeshift smokehouses, all sporting free food for all. (On a not-exactly-unrelated note, the slums in the Valley of Spirits have been fairly empty – everybody’s made their way over to dip into the free food while it lasts. Yup, it’s a good week to be poor.)

All Horde fighters from the Northwatch/Theramore campaign have been instructed to stay in Durotar for the duration of the festivities, but I also issued personal invitations to many of our soldiers and commanders to remain in Orgrimmar for the feasts and other events. Since Baine and Vol’jin have both been…less than enthused about our triumph, I conveniently neglected to issue invitations to them – let them skulk off to whatever corner they choose and pout over the awful burden of victory for as long as they feel the need, as long as they stay here in Durotar until we’re ready to get back to business.

Meanwhile, I sent invitations out to some of our soldiers who didn’t have the good fortune to join us on our glorious campaign, to at least come to Orgrimmar to partake in the celebration. I figured, for instance, that after all the time he’s spent in the Undercity, Bragor Bloodfist could stand to take a few days to enjoy the clean Durotar air. (Not to mention I’m guessing Sylvanas would probably appreciate a couple days without him, um, peeking around. Maybe dude can go hang with Belgrom Rockmaul for a while. Those two could probably compare creeper notes…) Plus I sent an invite out to Warlord Zaela of the Dragonmaw – figured she hasn’t really gotten to spend a lot of time in Orgrimmar, so why not have her come over to see the place at its most vibrant.

I spent a chunk of the day today over at the Ring of Valor taking in some of the sparring matches that have been going on between some of our best fighters – and you’ll never guess who turned up again over there. Trade Prince Gallywix, back from wherever it is he disappears to, back again now that there’s a lull in the actual fighting. He was buzzing around the arena, placing odds and taking bets on all the fights. I’m not sure how he managed it, but somehow he’d worked out a way to juggle the odds so that no matter what happened, he always came out ahead of the game. He had to bring a pack of goblin assistants to help him lug around all the gold he was raking in.

When he saw me there, he came slithering on over, and then – lucky me – I had the treat of his company for most of the time I was there. One definite highlight, though: before one of the final matches of the day – a real high-power matchup between Zaela and General Nazgrim – Gallywix was feeling pretty high on the horse, so I got him to accept a personal bet with me. Not one of his line-hedging bookie bets, mind you, just him and me, betting straight up, his money on Nazgrim, mine on Zaela. Not that Nazgrim isn’t a hell of a fighter in his own right, but I’ve seen Zaela in action. If I’m planning a military operation and need a field commander, Nazgrim’s my man, no two ways about it – but in a toe-to-toe slugfest? That’s Zaela all the way.

Zaela didn’t let me down. I wound up walking away wearing that fancy-ass top hat that Gallywix always has on. Or, well, always HAD on. Gotta say, this thing’s pretty spiffy. I might have to look into a walking stick to go with it. Or maybe a monocle. What do you think?



[Header image provided by Khizzara from Blog of the Treant, used here with permission and many thanks.]