Monthly Archives: July 2013
Spazzle Speaks: Tours of Duty
A little Earth Online interlude while Garrosh spins his yarn from Pandaria…
You have logged on.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Interesting. What kind of research, Leslie?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi baddie
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Hey mon.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] its really pretty technical
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] HI MRBADCRUMBLE
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey everyone
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] probably pretty boring if its not what you do
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: hey
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Greetings, Spazzle.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i can try to explain some of it to you if you think it would help.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh I’m sure it’s fascinating.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol prof
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I just got back from the echo isles a little while ago
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’ve got a handle on it, prof, its my job after all
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If you’d care to elaborate, of course.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Certainly no intrusion intended if you prefer not to.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] working on Jaina again?
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Tanks for checkin’ up on it for me, mon.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well yes, but i would imagine understanding the nielas vector hypothesis would be part of your job, too, and we’ve already established you don’t really have a handle on that.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Everyone needs a hobby. ^_^
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] omg i do too
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: it’s fine
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] u think your right about everything
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I had some business down there anyway
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] oh hardly.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i know my nielas vectors, though.
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: hey
[Lorthemar] has logged on.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] look, i supervise mages for a living, i would think i know about nielas vectors
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i would think you’d know about them, too.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] so see? i’m not always right.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugh whatever
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi lor
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: just had to be careful not to be seen by any kor’kron on the way
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Hey, Lor mon.
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] I STILL WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU KNOW ALL THIS STUFF PROF
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i’ve said before, i read a lot.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Greetings, all!
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] brb
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: You run into any trouble?
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] HI LOR
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good evening, Lor’themar.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: not really
[Guild][Lorthemar] And how is everyone this fine evening?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey lor’themar
[Officer][Lorthemar] Good evening.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] doing ok
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] How are you settling in on…the Isle of Thunder, is it?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] just missing my baby
[Officer][Lorthemar] Yes indeed.
[Officer][Lorthemar] Not badly at all. Setting up took some doing, but we had some good help on hand.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: there are more kor’kron in razor hill than there used to be
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] AWWW
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It’s good you were able to get your internet connection working from there.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I know our…esteemed Warchief has been having stability issues.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh? I thought you two sat next to each other while you played.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Goodness, I just reread the last thing I said, and I must say it gave me quite the chuckle. ^_^
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I think after they rebuilt the inn, they used it as an excuse to ramp up security
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] not right now
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate, I know I would be lost without my connection.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I’ve noticed you really seem to be online, like, ALL the time
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WE USUALLY DO
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’m away on business for a little while
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I don’t think I’ve logged on without you being here
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well, that’s partly because, being undead, I don’t strictly need to sleep.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh, I see
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Which frees up lots of online time.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] don’t you have work you need to do in the undercity, though?
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh give ’em enough time, they be makin’ lots more places “secure.”
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] so for right now the game is a way for us to still hang out together a little
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Yes, but I just take it with me everywhere.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Some of the warlocks worked out a way to project a likeness of my computer screen onto a writing tablet I carry around – an Eye Pad of Kilrogg, they call it.
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] IT MAKES ME GLAD I STARTED PLAYING THIS GAME
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: anyway, I got down there without much trouble
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] The name, I will admit, is inelegant. I may have marketing give it another pass.
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] EVEN IF I’M STILL KIND OF A NOOB
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: What’s da word from Trall?
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: Ji?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] its ok, sweetie, being a newbie might be a nice change of pace for you
[Guild][Lorthemar] You know, it’s a funny coincidence, I’m doing some traveling for work as well.
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] I know how dat goes, mon.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: all clear so far
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] LOR’THEMAR
[Officer][Lorthemar] Yes?
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Dis game be a way for me ta talk ta people too.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: nobody seems to have noticed anything going on down there
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh wow small world
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] -Don’t- say any more about what you’re doing.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Improbable though it would seem, I don’t think she realizes who you really are.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: which is kind of weird, considering it’s been months since they took out the kor’kron occupation
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Been tryin’ ta not talk too much fa real what wit I got a nasty sore troat dese days, mon.
[Officer][Lorthemar] Yeah, don’t remind me. I get that a lot.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well, yes, there’s that.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i hope you feel better, bobby
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: While Garrosh still be in Pandaria, Eitrigg be da one mindin’ da store in Orgrimmar
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But you’re also wasting a potential tactical advantage if you give away too much around her.
[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] has earned the achievement [Grand Central Station]!
[EdwardBear | Ji] has earned the achievement [Grand Central Station]!
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: He be no friend a da changes Malkorok been makin’ in da Kor’kron.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: yeah
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Hey, grats, mon!
[Officer][Lorthemar] How do you mean?
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I just wish things would get back to normal again
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: or more normal at least
[Guild][Lorthemar] Congratulations, all!
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: sorry, leslie was running me and puff through an instance
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] THANKS DEAR
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] …Really?
[Officer][Lorthemar] Really what?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] my pleasure sweetie =)
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: i didn’t see your tell till just now
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Dey gonna get worse before dey get better, mon.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: yeah
[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] ty leslie
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: it’s ok
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Has…nobody told you who Proudleslie is?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] yw eddie
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I haven’t…
[Officer][Lorthemar] No, who is she?
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: did you find anything out?
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] OH WOW ONE MORE BUBBLE AND I’LL LEVEL TOO
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh boy
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Proudleslie is Jaina Proudmoore.
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: I talked to thrall, yeah
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] next thing u know your going to be all grown up!
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] = )
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: had to be careful not to give away too much
[Officer][Lorthemar] …
[Officer][Lorthemar] She’s…she’s… WHY??
[Officer][Lorthemar] WHY would we let her be in the guild?
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: what did he say?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] then i can get you all geared up and ready for big people adventures!
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] Sylvanas convinced Garrosh to let her stay.
[Officer][Lorthemar] By convincing him we’re living in Upside Down Crazy Land??
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: the easiest place for you to reach the earthen ring is at the twilight citadel
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] I APPRECIATE ALL THE TIME YOU’VE BEEN SPENDING HELPING ME LEVEL
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: most of their heavy hitters are still over at the maelstrom, but they usually don’t let just anyone over there
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] No, Regent-Lord, by pointing out that keeping her close, without her knowing who -we- are, puts us in a position to ply her for information that might be of use to us.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] how’s that been working out for you, by the way?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] aww, anything for my baby
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: ok
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Hush now. It’s an ongoing project.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate, Lor’themar, please try to be careful what you say
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: so your best bet is to head down to the twilight highlands
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i kinda like getting to take care of you here after everything you do for me
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] MY PLEASURE, M’LADY
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: they’ve been working on setting up again there since the twilight’s hammer was driven out
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] <3
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: what’s that?
[Officer][Lorthemar] Ugh, fine.
[Officer][Lorthemar] This is not good for my rage.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] aww thats my lil puffy magic dragon =)
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: what’s what?
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] = )
[Officer][Lorthemar] And of course Garrosh took the anger management counselor with him to Pandaria.
[Officer][Lorthemar] To spite me, I’ll bet you anything.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] plus did i mention you look sexy as a fireman?
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: the twilight’s hammer
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] rawr 😉
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] To be fair, keeping an anger management specialist close to Garrosh is probably a wise move.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] she’s kind of got you there
[Officer][Lorthemar] *looks in guild chat*
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji] long story
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i wish i could adequately impress upon you the sheer magnitude of the fact that you’re making *me* want to vomit.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh boo prof, havent u ever been in love before
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji] last year’s bad guys
[Officer][Lorthemar] I can’t believe this woman is beating me.
[Officer][Lorthemar] Anyway…
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: oh
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] as a matter of fact.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] what happened?
[Officer][Lorthemar] Let’s talk about something else before I get too annoyed.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] the scourge.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh =(
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] at any rate, i should log for now, i have some packing to do.
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: i really don’t know if it’s going to accomplish much going to them, though
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Be seein’ ya, mon!
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] BYE PROF
[Officer][Lorthemar] Hmm, speaking of which, do you know anything about what’s going on with Faranell?
[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged off.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] sorry if i brought up bad memories prof
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: it’s worth a try
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I was going to ask you, actually.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] blah missed him
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] All I know is that he’s going to Orgrimmar at the request of your Lady Liadrin.
[Officer][Lorthemar] That’s all I know as well.
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: if anyone will have any ideas about what happened to mokvar, it would be them
[Officer][Lorthemar] Liadrin told me she was requesting Faranell from you, but was rather dodgy about details.
[Officer][Lorthemar] I’d assumed she would have told you more.
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: i hate to say it, but i think we might already know what happened to mokvar
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Not particularly, only that she had need of his alchemical skills for some of her work with the Dalaran refugees.
[Officer][Lorthemar] Don’t they have apothecaries in Orgrimmar?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] Tons over in the Valley of Spirits.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I raised that point myself. All she would say was that it’s a matter of some delicacy and she would prefer to call on someone she knows.
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: it’s possible mokvar is really gone
[Officer][Lorthemar] It’s exhausting having our supposed underlings running around on their own like this.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Preaching to the choir, Regent-Lord.
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: if he is, and i go, then he won’t be any more gone, and all i’ll have done is waste some of my own time
[Officer][Lorthemar] We need better minions.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We really do.
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: if he’s not, and i don’t go, then it might cost us something more valuable
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: the only mistake would be not to act
[Officer][Lorthemar] Hmm, guild chat is quiet.
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: believe me, I hope you find something.
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: I’m just trying not to get my hopes up
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Jaina and Kalecgos are probably talking in tells.
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: well either way, i should be back soon
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: i should get going
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: me too
[Officer][Lorthemar] I wonder what they’re talking about that’s so secret.
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: talk to you soon
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: good luck
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Probably you.
You have logged off.
Don’t blame the healer
It took a little doing, but eventually I got the DPS kids to fill in the rest of what had gone down after they’d sealed themselves in the cave. (I’m not going to stick Gurtash with having to do comic panels for every last word of it when we can just exposition our way over it, because seriously, that would burn through a TON of paper, and there’s only so much Ashenvale lumber on hand.) (For now.)
Like Gurtash and Giska were saying last time, they encountered saurok – multiple packs of them, actually – and did their best to fight them off while fleeing deeper into the caverns. By the time the saurok gave up pursuit, the kids were pretty far underground…and one fewer in number. Lok’osh – another orphan that Gurtash knew from Matron Battlewail’s place – got hacked up pretty badly in the fight, and while the rest of the kids managed to get him out of there with them, his injuries turned out to be too much for him.
He was a good kid. Quiet, but I guess that comes with being a rogue. I was maybe going to introduce him to Garona one day, except for the fact that, you know, who needs to be subjected to that, right? So maybe not. Anyway, moot point now. Unfortunately.
I decided to have the kids check our perimeter while I figured out our next move. There were two ways into the small chamber where they’d set up camp, and I’d just used one of them a short while before, so we knew that one was clear. So I had the batch of them chain their way down the other passageway to scout as far as they could. Standard procedure in unfamiliar territory, when you have limited numbers and want to play it conservative – one of them plants themselves in the passage, within sight of me, then the others spread out while going further. Each one in the chain goes as far as they can while still maintaining line of sight with the person before them. This way you cover the widest range, without anybody ever being in a position where the cavalry can’t be called in within ten seconds. Plus it would be giving them something to do to get their minds off Lok’osh and feel like they’re helping.
Korrina couldn’t get close enough to get a good look – I’m sure she would have tried, if they all weren’t under orders not to try to be a hero – but she was pretty sure she could see shadows moving further down the tunnel, and something seemed to be making some noise. I rounded the trainees up in the passageway and had them chain behind me while I went down to check it out – not even for the sake of them backing me up, really (spirits help me if I ever wind up needing the kids to save my ass), but mostly so they could call me back if something snuck up behind them. No surprise to anyone, Gurtash made a point of making himself the last link in the chain to me. As the passage started to widen into another room, I reminded him to keep me in sight, but also told him in no uncertain terms to stay back, no matter what. And down I went.
So…yeah, hold on to your hats for this one.
Reports of my demise (part 1)
So how about that, huh? The DPS kids were tucked away in the system of caves, making camp in a small chamber deep underground. We burned up a chunk of time talking over each other at first, with everybody wanting to know how everybody else had gotten there, but after I explained about how I’d found the caverns, I finally managed to get their side of the story from Gurtash.
So…let’s kick it over to the kid himself.
Sawyer
Hi, everyone. Averry here with a completely self-indulgent out-of-character post that ultimately relates to the blog only tangentially. I know I keep saying I don’t like stepping out of character like this, especially since I already did not too long ago, but in this case, the blog is also my outlet. Thank you in advance for bearing with me, and apologies in advance for this not being at all what you normally come here to read.
Regular readers know that one of the blog’s running jokes is that Garrosh plays a game called Earth Online, which rests on the premise that our world is actually an MMO, and the in-game world of Azeroth is reality. I’m sure it won’t come as much of a shock that I’ve sometimes used the conceit of Earth Online to refer to things in my real life — for instance, the fact that Garrosh plays the teacher class “in-game” is a nod toward my real career.
On a couple of occasions, Garrosh has mentioned an in-game vanity pet that he’s fond of, a dog named Sawyer. This was an unabashed reference to my own dog, a West Highland white terrier whom I adopted a few years ago from a local westie rescue group. The fact is, Sawyer had already worked his way into the blog in other, less obvious ways — I’d long ago come to think of him as the personality basis for Mortimer: naturally feisty, oftentimes cranky, fiercely loyal, frequently a handful. And always boundlessly endearing, to the point of finding a soft spot (kind of) even in Garrosh.
Very late last night (or very early this morning, depending on how you’re counting), after several days of struggle with deteriorating medical issues, Sawyer had to be put to sleep.
He kept fighting to the end. Sawyer had been rescued from a puppy mill, so he was no stranger to adversity; even after being rescued, two would-be adoptive families returned him to the rescue organization after finding his brand of canine PTST was too difficult to deal with. It was only because of those returns that he ultimately wound up with me. Oddly enough, in all the days since he moved in, I don’t think I can remember a single one that he tried my patience to a degree that even registered. (Maybe that’s a perk of working with high school students, who knows.)
When Sawyer was first rescued, his age was estimated at about two years, based on his small size and puppy-like behavior, so I figured I would have him with me for a decade or more. Two years of age became nine or ten after eventual dental work revealed he had the teeth of a much older dog; still, I thought, that left me with another four or five years, more if we were lucky. By the time our luck ran out this week, our time together had run its course in just under three years total.
Three years were over too soon. Then again, twenty years would have been over too soon. Somehow, though, I really don’t feel cheated. Three years were a gift.
Yes, I know, I’m one of those crazy sentimental dog people. (I can not watch the last five minutes of “Jurassic Bark.”)
Friends and guildmates have long been familiar with Sawyer’s antics — I’m sure many of them got sick of hearing me talk about him. And more than one raid was punctuated by the sounds of a squeak toy over vent. And there may or may not have been an add or two that I didn’t pick up very quickly to tank because a certain someone was pawing at my arm. I wish everyone could have met him.
As I’m sure you’ll all understand, Sawyer’s fight for life has been a major factor in the blog going quiet for the last several days. I’m probably going to continue to be quiet for a little while more. While I have a lot of stories in the pipeline that I’ve been pretty excited about, I really don’t feel very funny right now, much less ready to take on some of the darker, serious stuff (of which, um, there’s a lot). Rest assured, Garrosh’s misadventures will be back again in short order. Thank you for your ongoing patience.
If you happen to have a dog — or any pet, for that matter — give a few extra hugs tonight. If you don’t, maybe take your companion pug for a walk around Pandaria. Or, better yet, look up a local rescue organization, and send along a small donation to help undeserving slobs like me continue to have their lives graced by the best friends they’ll ever know.
Sweet dreams, Sawyer. Thank you for rescuing me.
