Roundhouse cleave to the face


I’ve got a return trip to Hearthglen lined up for tomorrow, but between then and now I figured I’d put in a little game time. In this case, though, I got to unveil a little surprise to the rest of the guild…


[You have logged on.]

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh wow thats freaky

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah, that’s really weird

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh you’ve got no idea. This guy was a flake even by Mylune standards.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] hi garrosh

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] heya boss

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Sup, guys

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey, chief. I was just telling everyone about Tembw’bam out in ZG.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] hello sir

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I kind of wish I’d been there to see it, sounds like he was a real hoot

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You could say that, yeah…

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wait could he turn into an owl too?

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Not that kind of a hoot.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] theres different kinds?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] wow your an idiot

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I mean I think he sounds entertaining

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh

[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] has logged on.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] he sounds like kind of a moron if you ask me

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] are you talking about tembwbam or dontrag?

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey Sylvanas

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Does it really matter, as far as accuracy?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Hello, Spazzle.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] tembwbam

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Haha

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] no i’m dontrag

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Are you sure?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I thought you were Utvoch.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] no he’s utvoch

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i’m utvoch

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yah thats what i said

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] only i said he instead of i

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Hmm, I could swear you were Utvoch, Dontrag.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You really do enjoy messing with them, don’t you?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] huh are you sure

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] no she cant be sure if she’s wrong

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I hardly think I’m wrong.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] In fact, I’m quite sure you’re Utvoch, Dontrag.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] haha

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] huh so that would make me dontrag?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] no your not dontrag utvoch

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Can you blame me, really?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i dont know, she seems pretty sure

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Look at them.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] she’s messing with you you moron

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol this is epic

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It’s like spinning a dog around hundreds of times, and then playing catch with it.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] See what I mean? Plenty of moron to go around…

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol, ok point taken

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Not so. I’m pretty sure most dogs could outwit either of them.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] she is? oh damn

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So anyway… Yeah, the dude from ZG was a piece of work.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh so speaking of which, garrosh

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] how come you wanted a rogue for the trip to STV and you didn’t invite me?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh for fuck’s sake…

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] i know i’ve told you about how i like the beaches down there

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m sure you did

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] right, so?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Whether I was listening at the time is a whole other question

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] haha

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] ouch!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] omg

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] seriously though why would you take krog instead?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hang on, tabbing out

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh sure, tab out now

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ugh

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I wouldn’t worry about it too much, Garona.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m sure the Warchief had his reasons.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea well we’ll see

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Okay, so what’s the catch there going to be?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] There’s no catch.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m not *always* trolling, you know.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok so dontrag and i just went over this and we’re pretty sure he’s dontrag and i’m utvoch

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well I’m glad we’ve finally been able to put this mystery to rest.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, back

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i know, that was going to bother me till we figured it out

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I had to help someone get set up on the game

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] New player so I’ve been having to walk him through setting it up

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh cool, anyone we know?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Haha, yep

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Nice, who is it?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You’ll see in a minute

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] did you remember to use your refer-a-friend for them?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh hell yes

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I want my hang glider

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh ok

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, here we go

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] This is going to be epic

[ChuckNorris | Saurfang] has joined the guild.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] welcome Chuck

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] hi chuck

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So yeah, you guys might know ChuckNorris here better by his real life name, Varok Saurfang

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] whoa

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] holy shit!

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh HELL yes!

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Haha, yeah, I finally convinced him to give it a try for the freebie month

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Greetings, High Overlord!

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] welcome, sir!

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Saurfang, if you type /g it’ll set your chat line to type here in the guild chat

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] greetings overlord

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] is this working?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yup

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] reading you loud and clear, sir

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] ah, there we are.  greetings and honor to you all, friends.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Welcome to the guild, Overlord.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] LivinDeadGrl here is Sylvanas, Saurfang

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] a pleasure to ‘see’ you, as it were, dark lady

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And you as well, Overlord.

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] no need here for such formality, dark lady. we are all soldiers of the horde and friends here; ‘varok’ will suffice.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Or Rokky

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Haha! Rokky it is!

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] no, most certainly not ‘rokky’

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yes, sir, Rokky struck from the record, check.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Anyway, Saurfang, let me do the quick introductions here, so you know who’s who

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We covered Sylvanas… Bartleby is Mokvar… MrBadcrumble is Spazzle Fizzletrinket, I think you met him a couple times…

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ahem

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Ugh, fine. Nightengayle is Garona…

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] a pleasure as always, Saurfang!

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And SteveKravitz and GilbertRose are Dontrag and Utvoch, in some order, nobody really remembers which

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i’m dontrag

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Also nobody really gives a shit

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] sorry our existence isn’t more relevant sir

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] a moment, i should note all this down.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’ll hook you up later with a mod that will let you add a note to people’s names in-game to help keep track of everyone

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] If you need help with anything while you’re getting the hang of the game, sir, don’t be reluctant to speak up

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah we can definitely help give you an armed escort wherever

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] many thanks to you all, friends. i suspect it will take some doing before I am adequately acclimated to the environment here

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Also, Sylvanas?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Yes, Warchief?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] If you start asking him about the warlocks or what Dranosh means again, I will end you

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I can’t imagine why you would think such a thing of me, Warchief…

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] so what class are you playing, saurfang?

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] i believe this is called a ‘texas ranger’

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh hey i bet sylvanas could show you a lot about that class

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] uh no

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] no

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i thought she was a ranger

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Not that kind of ranger

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] is she a different spec or something?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] spirits help me i wish i could stunlock people over the internet sometimes

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m a Dark Ranger. It’s not the same thing.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] so the ranger talent trees are dark, texas and what else?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Utvoch

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yes sir

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Stop talking before I come over there and chop you up into many many tiny little pieces

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yes sir

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] sorry sir

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate, I had really only come on to check on my auctions. I need to leave for a meeting for the moment.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] later, Sylvanas

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] bye BQ

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] farewell, dark lady. honor go with you.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Back soon! ^_^

[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] has logged off.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] So I’m guessing you’re at the ranch starting zone, Saurfang?

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] it would appear so, yes

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] there appears to be a peculiarly liveried human here who, inexplicably, has an exclamation point hovering above his head.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] that means he has a quest for you

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Right-click on him and he’ll show you a write-up of what he wants you to do.

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] ah, interesting. a moment…

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’ll head over to the starter zone in a minute and give you a few dollars to get you going

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] did you get the quest, Saurfang?

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] a moment, i’m still reading.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Ah, he must be reading all the quest text.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] People do that?

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Apparently.

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] indeed. i would hate to overlook some critical detail, as i’m sure this ‘rancher’ fellow’s monologue must include information that will hold some importance later on.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh wow, that’s so cute

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Well, he’s new. No harm in taking his time and soaking it all in.

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] it appears i am needed to acquire a hot iron and brand six of the cattle in the nearby pens.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] the branding iron should be kind of shining now, so you can spot it

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] i must say, this does not at the outset appear to be the sort of heroic undertaking i might have supposed a fantasy adventure would present.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The early quests are pretty simple, so you can get used to the game mechanics

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] To be fair, the quests never exactly get particularly complicated.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well yeah, but at least you get some bigger and badder stuff to fight.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Eventually as you level up, you get new zones opened up for you to quest in, too

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] There’s also an expansion coming up that’s going to add a whole new continent to the game

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] have they announced a release date yet for land down under?

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] I doubt he’ll be max level before Down Under comes out, though.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah, LDU’s coming out in like another month and a half

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] well then, that mission is completed, uninspiring though it was.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] he should have a follow-up for you now

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] indeed. a moment while i read.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] someday when he’s all hardcore and speeding through quests we’ll look back at this and laugh

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] haha

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Watch, in a week he’ll be better than all of us

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] He’s Saurfang, he probably already is.

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] hmm, so it would seem that the ranch’s livestock has taken losses recently due to itinerant vermin.

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] i am being called upon to hunt down some dozen of the coyotes lurking about and slay them.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] There you go, that should be more up your alley

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] i will grant that this mission sounds a bit more promising, although i’m at something of a loss as to why the rancher would specify twelve of the creatures.

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] if the vermin are proving problematic, would it not make more sense for me to stay at my task until they have been eliminated altogether?

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] respawn timer would make that a real pain

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] It’s probably best not to overthink these things.

[Nightengayle | Garona] has earned the achievement [Level 50]!

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] grats

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Grats, Garona!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] whew, finally

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] and thanks

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] now to start gearing

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] hmm, that coyote died rather easily.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] I would imagine you’re used to that happening.

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] indeed.

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] now for the next animal. i appear to have an ability called ‘roundhouse kick’; let me see what it does on this one.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] go for it

[You have been disconnected.]










[You have logged on.]

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] what was that??

[Bartleby | Mokvar] has logged on.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Damned if I know…

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] has logged on.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] did you guys just get knocked off too?

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] i swear that wasn’t me this time…

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, I did.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Same here

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  hmm let me check something

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] that was so weird

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, I can’t remember that ever happening to me before

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Even when my internet cuts out, it doesn’t just boot me right away I like that, I end up just hanging for a couple minutes first

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh wow

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] it looks like the whole server got knocked offline for a minute

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh yikes

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] i wonder what caused it

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] You know, come to think of it…

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well, either way, Saurfang is probably all confused now

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Let me go see if I can track him down and get him situated again

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’ll be back in a few maybe…

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] later boss

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] bye garrosh

[You have logged off.]



“Perhaps I should stick to this Saronite Sweeper game instead…”

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Charles Jenkins
Charles Jenkins
August 1, 2012 8:36 am

I love it when things come together.

August 1, 2012 12:44 pm


August 1, 2012 12:50 pm

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] spirits help me i wish i could stunlock people over the internet sometimes


This. A thousand times this, a thousand times over.

August 3, 2012 7:28 pm
Reply to  Tandeleina

I totally want to see a talent tree or skill list for the Texas Ranger spec!!! Texas and Dark… what’s the third ranger spec going to be???

August 3, 2012 7:29 pm
Reply to  WookieeBH

Didn’t mean to post under the other comment. Sorry.