So I KNEW something was going on with him and Aggralan. I even tried warning him it wouldn’t be a good idea, seeing as I remembered her from Nagrand, and I mean she’s okay and everything, when she dies she’s going right to the honored dead, but holy crap the spirits are going to have their hands full with the yap yap YAP. Preachiest bitch this side of Rhonin, let me tell you. Not that he listened to me anyway. But whatever.

But MARRIED? The FUCK, dude?! And I don’t get invited?! FUCKING ANTLERS McBEARDYFACE GETS A FRONT-ROW SEAT, and I don’t even get a fucking wedding announcement? Hell, not even Antlers – his high priestess chick too?! TELL ME WHAT SOUNDS WRONG HERE: “Thrall is getting married today and a grand total of ONE racial leader will be in attendance…and that one is FUCKING ALLIANCE”!!

Oh, wait, hold up a second, you want to know how I even FOUND OUT about this? WHEN ALL THE FUCKING WEDDING GIFTS STARTED POURING INTO GROMMASH HOLD BECAUSE YOUR DAMN FORWARDING ADDRESS EXPIRED!! How’s THAT for a fucking kick in the nuts? “Oh, look, someone sent me a Foreman Thazz’ril Mean Lean Goblin Barbeque Machine, that’s really cool, oh wait, it’s addressed to Thrall, ‘Congratulations on your union, may you and Aggra enjoy a lifetime of joy’, the FUCK?!”

Not to mention, dude, I don’t even get to throw you a fucking bachelor party? Have you never BEEN to Silvermoon??

P.S. Note to Jaina Proudmoore, on the off chance she can see this: HAH! Suffer!



[Header image provided by Rioriel from Postcards From Azeroth, reproduced here with permission and many thanks. Click here to see the souped-up Postcard version!]

First journal
Earth Online
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