So don’t ask me to explain what the hell THAT was. As far as I can tell, whatever glamor hocus pocus Barnes has going on here in the Opera House can pull bits and pieces out of all our thoughts and memories and yank them together into these stories. Which is kind of cool, I guess, as long as you’re watching it and not stuck in the middle of it. Or, you know, winding up fake-dead on the floor in the middle of it. It’s a really weird experience having it happen to you, like you’re watching yourself do this stuff from the inside, only you don’t really have control of it other than short little snippets. Almost like getting hit with a priest’s mind control.  Only with singing and dancing, in this case.

That last one was extra weird, though. At least with the first show, it was pretty much working off of our experiences with Southshore and the second timeline and all that. But with that second one…I mean, I get that parts of it were playing off of things we’ve experienced and modifying them to fit this other story, like the bombing of Theramore, and me and Varian getting into it in Dalaran, and a ton of other little things. But it’s still really weird seeing them get tweaked like that. Plus I don’t know WHAT the hell was going on with Mokvar and that human. Maybe that’s just something the glamor played around with, seeing as Mokvar had some time as a freelancer before he came to Orgrimmar, but I don’t know. Makes me wonder if I need to start keeping an eye on him too. You know, along with the zillion other people I’m having to keep an eye on these days.

Anyway, I was stupid enough to think we were finally done with all this crap, so during the intermission after that second show, I pulled Barnes aside (well, as much as you can “pull” a noncorporeal ghost anywhere), but it ended up being another mixed bag.


GARROSH: Okay, ghost boy, are you satisfied yet? Are you ready to help us now?

BARNES: I’d say you and your friends have certainly earned some assistance, sir, yes.

GARROSH: Oh thank goodness. So now that we’re done with the stupid stage shows, we can—

BARNES: Oh, I didn’t say we were done yet, though, sir. There is still the third show to tend to.

GARROSH: You just said you were going to help us.

BARNES: Yes, sir, I did.

GARROSH: But you’re still throwing us out there for another one of these damn things.

BARNES: We did bill it as a triple feature, sir.

GARROSH: You want to explain how all that fits together?

BARNES: You’ll get your help, sir. We’ll just work it into the performance — all part of the magic of show business, you see. Literally in this case, as it happens.

GARROSH: <grumbles> You know, it’s a really lucky thing for you that you’re already dead, spooks.

BARNES: <shrugs> In any case, sir, I think curtain time has arrived.


Barnes walks back onstage and stands under his spotlight while the ghostly audience applauds.

BARNES: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to this evening’s final presentation! Tonight, we plumb the depths of the human soul—

GARROSH: <offstage> Fuck that human shit!

BARNES: Erm, the orcish—

GARONA: <offstage> Only half!

BARNES: The…orcish and half-orcish—

LIADRIN: <offstage> No billing for elves?

BARNES: <sighs> Tonight, we plumb the depths of the…racially diverse…bipedal…

Barnes looks offstage uncomfortably, bracing himself for another interruption; when none comes, he lets out a sigh of relief and continues.

…racially diverse bipedal soul—

FARANELL: <offstage> Haven’t had one in years!

BARNES: We’re going to show you a story about some people, okay? And…join a lost orc trying desperately, with the help of his loyal companions, to find a way to protect his home. But…he is pursued by a wicked, malevolent crone!

The audience gasps.

Will he survive? Will he prevail? Only time will tell. And now: On with the show!

West Azeroth Story, Act 3
The Wizard of Zhan
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October 26, 2012 3:10 am

Oh the goblinity!

October 26, 2012 8:21 am

Cliffhanger Friday.