Yeah, yeah, I know the blog’s been kind of quiet lately. Lots of stuff going on, so my schedule’s been a little too packed with round-the-clock BEING AWESOME to have as much time for blogging as I might like. Plus, where we left things, there’s still a story to finish that’s probably better told visually, and of course – timing being everything – Gurtash is having a flare-up from a hand injury, so that’s cut his doodle output WAY down. And yes, I know what you’re thinking, fourteen-year-old boy hurts his hand, huh? But no, this is pretty legit. See, he was— you know what, screw it, you’ll see for yourselves soon enough.

Anyhow. I wanted to break the silence today in order to recognize a milestone – the two-year anniversary of YOUR WARCHIEF’S COMMAND BOARD. The blog, I mean. The command boards around town have been up for, like, I don’t know, longer. But who cares about those, really, other than noobs. And people looking for guitar lessons, seeing as how half the time most of the boards are just covered with those ads with the little rip-off contact addresses. BUT I DIGRESS.

Point is, it was two years ago today that I made my first-ever blog post, and began to forever change the lives of YOU, MY LOYAL READERS AND MINIONS.

So, in light of the occasion today, and the big-fucking-deal it commemorates, I think we all know what this calls for. Yep, you guessed it, it’s time for all of you out there in Blog-Reading-Ville (no, Dontrag, that’s not a real place) to SEND YOUR WARCHIEF A PRESENT TO SHOW YOUR DAMN APPRECIATION. What, you think this thing doesn’t take time and effort? FUCK THAT. Don’t panic TOO much, though – I know I’m just springing this on you, so I won’t go sending the Kor’kron after any gift-deficient slackers until at least, like, Friday.

Hell, one of your peers has already gone ahead and beaten you to the punch. Check out what yours truly received in the mail just today as a blogiversary gift.

Garrosh figure

HOW’S THAT FOR FUCKING AWESOME, HUH? My very own badass action figure of my very own badass self! And let me tell you, they did NOT scrimp on the plastic on this thing. It seriously weighs like five pounds.

On the down side, this person also sent me one of these:

Garrosh and Garona figures

Yeah, terrific, get her going again. Super.

Still, they’re pretty cool. Maybe I should check with Spazzle about putting out an actual line of Command Board action figures. You can’t tell me THOSE wouldn’t fly off the shelves like hotcakes. If hotcakes were kept on shelves. But still. MERCHANDISING, BITCHES.

More from me soon, once Gurtash’s damn hand finishes doing its best Lor’themar’s-Eye impression.

Your Warchief wants YOU
And So It Begins
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August 28, 2013 5:00 pm

Here’s my gift for you, Warchief!


There once was an orc from Nagrand
Who’s life was exceedingly bland
He moaned and he cried
‘Til by Thrall he was spied
And given a Warchief’s command

When Garrosh the Warchief got tired
Of forms and dumb minions he’d hired
Eitrigg thought that he might
Find it helpful to write
So Spazzle got internet wired.

Garrosh soon had internet fame
For the stories he told were not lame
He traveled through time
Wrote more than one rhyme
And argued with oh-what’s-his-name

For two years now we’ve been immersed
In tales of the WoW universe
Thank you a whole lot
For all that we’ve got
But please write some more EPIC VERSE!

Oh, and fuck you, Varian.


((By the way, everyone — Averry has injured his drawing hand for real, which is just the most recent real-life circumstance that has conspired to keep him from updating the blog. Fear not! Our Warchief shall return!))

Rakael-Kelytas (@RakaelWhispers)
August 28, 2013 5:40 pm

Happy Blogiversary! May the heaps of lemon squares be upon you in celebration.

August 28, 2013 6:28 pm

The injured hand is clearly the latest insidious plot from King Chin…

August 28, 2013 6:48 pm

Congratulations Warchief!

August 28, 2013 11:45 pm

Congratulations, dearest Warchief, and may you enjoy more such anniversaries in the future.

August 29, 2013 6:55 pm


Your gift will be arriving by discreet courier.

August 29, 2013 6:56 pm
Reply to  Aliok

(Gahhhhhh… I forget I can’t use those emoticons. Just pretend I wrote “/shiftyeyes” or something.)

August 29, 2013 7:17 pm
Reply to  Aliok

Uh oh… How many gift-wrapped Orc women are going to show up at Grommash Hold now, Garrosh? Look what you started!

August 30, 2013 6:20 am

Happy blogaversary warchief!