Fitting names and key words


Probably not much of a shock to anyone, but after yesterday I really needed a little time to just take my mind off the whole Twilight situation, so I ended up hopping onto Earth Online for a while. So I was going around leveling my new gardener alt, when I ran into this other player and, well, what resulted was probably one of the most gloriously accurate things I’ve ever seen in the game.  Here:


I mean, isn’t that…just…yeah. HAH!


While I’m at it, what with the new year, this might also be a good chance to look back at this first year of the Command Board. Well, first partial year, anyway…I only just started this thing up at the tail end of August. But still! Anyway, it’s definitely been a fun ride so far, but one thing I just look a look back at is the Google search terms that have been bringing people to the blog. Some of them make plenty of sense, but some of them…well…

Let’s just say some of you people really need to talk to someone.

Let me be really clear about this. I think it’s awesome that you guys are coming here to read the blog, and I’m happy that people are finding their way here one way or another. I’m not going to turn up my nose at blog visits from anybody. But, that being said, HOLY FUCKING SHIT some of these search terms are disturbing.

The most common ones are actually pretty good. Matter of fact, it kind of feels good when I see someone come to the Command Board based on search terms that make it pretty clear that they’d heard about the blog somehow. Like for instance, these were the top search terms last year:

warchief’s command board
the warchiefs command board
warchief command board
garrosh hellscream blog
warchief command board blog

So yeah, cool, so far so good. Then there was this one, which I figure was a typo except it had a bunch of hits coming from it, and I get what they were going for but it’s still kinda funny:

warchief command boars

I can think of at least five directions you can go with that. YMMV. Have at it an enjoy.

Then, things start to take a HARD left turn into Asshole-ville. Here’s a sampling:

“my pants got caught” “dangling or dangle or dangles or dangled or hang or hanging or hangs or hanged or hung”
why isnt the warchiefs command board working for me
sergeant dontrag the door is closed
mistress command eat my shit
jaina proudmoore head
wyvren muscle fuck
omg son of arugal
what is the warchiefs wife
sylvanas for warchief
rexxar for warchief
jaina proudmoore nude
sylvanas windrunner fuck
jaina proudmoore fucking
jaina proudmoore gets fucked
jaina proudmoore fucked

Okay, so first of all…I have to admit, I’m kind of scared now. I’m going to be really, really optimistic and assume that my regular readers are like…you know…vaguely well adjusted and…um…manage to get laid on a semi-regular basis. Some of the passers-by, though…yeah, you guys really need to get out more.

Especially the Jaina thing. I mean I know I clown on her a lot, but come on, guys. For realsies. This is just kinda sad.

That said…thanks for finding your way here one way or another! Barring some catastrophe, you can look forward to lots more thrilling tales and brilliant insights from your Warchief in the year ahead. AREN’T YOU LUCKY.

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Rades (@_Rades)
January 6, 2012 8:24 pm

“sergeant dontrag the door is closed” is absolutely my favorite. I’m picturing a single-panel Far Side-esque comic scene of you, exasperated, saying this (and of course, the REASON you are saying it).

January 6, 2012 8:34 pm

Hm..yeah that bit about the year ahead has reminded me of something i really ought to have done days ago, to make sure my head doesnt end up somewhere i really dont want it…

Happy new year warchief!

Can i stop looking over my shoulder for hired killers now?

If not maybe this will put you in a good enough mood to call them off, Wrynn hasnt posted on his blog in almost a month, maybe someones finally got him? properly this time.

January 7, 2012 9:20 am

I want to know how Jaina Proudmoore fucking/gets fucked/fucked ends up at your site….

But everyone knows I LOVE #funnyblogtraffic

January 7, 2012 1:14 pm

This reminds me of Tobold’s blood elf porn post.

Happy new year, ya big cuddly orc!

January 8, 2012 12:35 pm

What do they think this place is, The Warchief’s Porn Palace? Perhaps Thrall is to blame for this. I mean, he was the Warchief prior to you and he did kinda sorta have that thing with Jaina for a while. Maybe it’s a bit like that situation you sometimes run into after moving your character into a new house on Earth Online, where if the previous owners were dicks to the pizza guy one too many times the pizza place will straight up refuse to deliver to you. Sometimes you can’t shake a stigma, no matter if you’re the one who earned that stigma in the first place or not.

Regardless, happy new year sir! Thanks for the (slightly fucked up) giggles!

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