The search for intelligent life on Earth Online


Okay, so enough is enough already. After I put up my catch-all application info last week for a new Earth Online guild, I’ve been fielding responses from a bunch of guilds and asking around for more options, and HOLY CRAP there’s a lot of fail out there. And look, I’m not even talking about progression, because, whatever, there’s like a hundred reasons why a guild might be going faster or slower even if they know what they’re doing. So that’s fine, you clear the content that you clear.

What I’m talking about is all these guilds you see floating around that have to be run by frigging idiots. And okay, I think I’ve already established my opinion of most guild leaders, but I’m talking serious no-fucking-around pants-on-head IDIOTS here. Like the ones you see advertising in general chat in-game where every other word in the blurb is fucking spelled wrong. Or even the ones you see every once in a while that somehow manage to spell their GUILD NAME wrong. No, I’m not kidding – I’ve seen this a few times. Look, you guys all know by now that I write poetry on the side – I like words, okay? I don’t like watching them get crapped on by a bunch of morons on the internet.

Oh, and by the way, one more axe I have to grind with these illiterate asshats – you know who you are – you ever see what happens if someone tries to call them out on BEING illiterate morons? “lol it’s the internet not Common class lol” – seriously, does that happen ANYWHERE else? Would you EVER have someone, say, try to hold a sword by the blade, and fuck their hand up like an idiot, and then if you call them out on how stupid that was, they roll their eyes at you and go “OMG we’re not in a battleground” like YOU’RE the one being an idiot for thinking that if somebody’s going to be fucking around with a sword at all, they should maybe know the blade from the hilt.

So okay. LOOK, idiots. Read this REALLY CAREFULLY, sound out the words if you have to, because you’re about to fucking LEARN something, maybe, if you’re not already too braindead to salvage. Are you paying attention, you fucking fuckwits? Okay. So: YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE IN COMMON CLASS TO SPELL YOUR FUCKING WORDS RIGHT. You know why? Because people who aren’t fucking stupid DO NOT sit around and go “Well I know how to spell this word, but it’s just the internet, so it’s really not worth the extra trouble, so I’ll just save the effort and spell it this other way that’s wrong but what the hell it’s just the internet ffs” – yeah, people DON’T do that, because you know why? Because if you know how to fucking SPELL, you just DO it and don’t even think about it, and then you go about your merry not-retarded day. And if you DON’T know how to spell, then people are going to figure you’re just stupid, because hey, guess what, YOU MOTHERFUCKING ARE.

So yeah, anyway, rant over.

So you know what? Hell with it. Toka had a suggestion in the comments the other day that I should just form my own guild, and you know what, I think there’s already enough of a track record for me to say I’d be a better leader than most of these EO GM’s (I’m looking right at you, Manageurdeath). So yeah, here’s your chance to get in on the ground floor – I’m starting a guild! So if you’re on Goldwater-Kalimdor server or you think you could use a change of scenery, hit me up. I know Spazzle and Mokvar are going to be helping found it with me, and I know Garona plays so maybe she’d be interested in rolling an alt here at least.

So, who’s in?

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March 13, 2012 4:01 pm

I am in if you are looking for any Stay at Home Mothers for your guild. That is my only maxed level character at the moment. I have been so busy in your army while it was taking care of the whole Deathwing issue that I have not had much gaming time. I also have a low level Nurse and Street Thug.

March 13, 2012 4:26 pm

I wonder how much of a choice Spazzle and Mokvar had about joining…

I’m not on your server, but I’m willing to roll an alt there. I’ve been thinking about trying out the Doctor class anyway… Need a healer?

March 13, 2012 8:30 pm

Id join but im on a server on the Eastern kingdoms, Its a shame too, Im currently playing a level 21 who, because of his lack of experience, I havent been able to buy a class for yet but im sure he could be useful, He got a double A in science when he left his starting zone and the rest were C’s appart from a B in one of those wierd in game languages. There is something ive been meaning to report to someone though, im not sure if its a glitch or just something im doing wrong but when I select a word from his writing spell list he often uses one that looks a little different but often gets completely ignored by the npc I wanted to use it on.

March 14, 2012 8:46 pm

Given that you threatened violent death upon your former GM … your Azeroth issues may bleed through into EO with negative effects. The threat of horrible burnination may well cause people to avoid signing up.

March 15, 2012 11:12 am
Reply to  Fletcher

For those of us who are Horde it’s the threat of burnination that makes us decide TO sign up.

March 17, 2012 12:00 am

I am in. I have a level 42 carpenter named Woody. I have been thinking about re-rolling as either a Politician or an enforcer though. I would be more than happy to move him over to Goldwater-Kali

Question, is Goldwater-Kalimdor PVE or is PK allowed. Cause if you really want to get back at Manageurdeath why not crush him first in EO then have us crush him a second time in Theramore.

May the earth mother guide you.