Say what you want about this goofy-ass holiday, but it’s sure good for one thing: indulging my sweet tooth. Bring on the chocolate eggs! Granted, I’m not sure I’m clear on whether they came from chocolate chickens or something (but holy shit would Legionnaire Sanders ever make a killing from THAT), or how the rabbits come into the picture. All I know is for a week or so we’ve got candy coming out of the woodwork.

Not to mention for a few days everybody goes apeshit and starts using the frigging chocolate eggs for CURRENCY. I remember noticing last year people were going nuts rounding up the eggs to trade in for pet rabbits, so this year I’ve come prepared. Because, you know what, rabbits AREN’T FUCKING HARD TO GET. So leading up to the holiday this year, I went out and caught a few rabbits, which by the way ARE HOPPING AROUND LITERALLY EVERYWHERE, so I don’t know why people feel like they need to BUY them, but whatever. Anyway, I caught a few rabbits a while ago, and rabbits being rabbits, that means that now I’ve got about a thousand of the bouncy buggers on hand. So, a hundred eggs for your pet? Pfft…75 here! Let the chocolate-egg-earning undercutting begin!

Ode to Gorehowl
Orc Lemon Squares
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April 8, 2012 1:12 pm

I like a nice rabbit stew when I am out wandering in the woods. Never thought about keeping them around.

April 8, 2012 2:30 pm

I think you’ve been spending too much time with goblins, right now you only have to deal with the occasional druid protest but if you carry on like this your going to have to deal with people complaining about immoral buisiness practices and if your rabbit selling buisiness is booming your going to have the obligatory claims of being the head of some big bad souless buisiness whos which corroupts politicians and lines their own pockets and such..

Id recommend turning away now before you get these guys trying to knock your door down.

April 8, 2012 9:32 pm

Clearly, you need to send these bunnies to your new admirer Mylune back in Hyjal…