Go East, young orc


This might seem a little overdue, but I’ve been thinking lately that after Zaela turned out to be doing…sort of…an iffy job keeping the Dragonmaw on task out there in the Twilight Highlands, it might be a good idea for me to start paying a few inspection visits to some of our outposts out in the Eastern Kingdoms. Keep the field commanders on their toes, inspire the troops, all that good stuff.

Thing is, though, traveling around most places in the Eastern Kingdoms is seriously a giant pain in the ass. Okay, we’ve got a convenient portal from Orgrimmar to Dragonmaw Port, but beyond that it gets pretty dicey. Yeah, I could have mages open portals for me to locations over there, and I’ve been known to do that now and then in emergencies, but see, most of our committed mages here in Orgrimmar are trolls. When there’s an actual emergency going on, or it’s urgent that I get somewhere quickly for something important, like say that time I had to take the fast track to Krom’gar in Stonetalon, they’re fine…but short of that, half the time they just take it as an occasion to fuck with me. Portals to the wrong places, or worse yet, they’ll play portal roulette – put up three or four or five portals all right on top of each other, so I’m not sure which one I’m taking until I’ve gone through. So yeah, it’s an option, but it’s a damn annoying one.

So other than Dragonmaw Port, pretty much anywhere else you wind up having to take a boat or a zeppelin, and I don’t exactly have a great track record with either one of those. Plus then I have to make arrangements to bring Mortimer out there with me, because let me tell you, the flight path options out there are some slim pickings. Not a whole lot of wyverns to choose from, and even the ones they have aren’t much of a match for the sturdy Kalimdor stock. And beyond junior varsity wyverns? You’ve got giant bats, which are a little short on the steady and a long on the bitey for my tastes. And I’m sorry, there’s just no fucking way in hell you’re ever going to see me riding around on a dragonhawk. Not least of all because most of them look like they would snap in two if I ever actually sat on them.

So, point being, if I’m going to take the trouble to go out there at all, I want to make sure I’m making the best possible use of my time. Since many of you guys are out there fighting the good fight in the outer territories, I figured it might be helpful to check with you first – what regions of the Eastern Kingdoms do you think would benefit most from having me drop in and Warchief it up?

The Last Stands of Sylvanas
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April 15, 2012 5:45 pm

Make sure to visit scenic Southshore in Hillsbrad. A visit not to be missed! The Western Plaguelands are also worth a visit, say hello to Zen’kiki!

Also, there’s a reliable portal from Orgrimmar to the Blasted Lands. Since I have it on good authority that Thrall thinks “anyone who would enslave another deserves worse than death”, you might want to let Okrilla know that. Maybe have her brutally slaughter all those ogres instead of enslaving them, I don’t know.

April 15, 2012 7:41 pm

If you take the portal to the Blasted Lands you can take a nice side trip to the Swamp of Sorrows. The upstart alliance are stirring up the pot a bit there and you will always fine some of them around to kill.

Really though you should go check out Hillabrad, it is pretty messed up. There is a special garden there that you should not miss.

April 16, 2012 4:52 pm

It might be a good idea to drop by Tirisfal Glades. For one thing, it’s easy enough to get there by zeppelin or mage portal, and from there you can easily travel to other Horde holdings. For another thing, it might be good to personally check on what Sylvanas is up to. Also, your presence might remind some of the new Forsaken of where their true allegiances should lie. It’s disturbing how so many of them treat Sylvanas — almost as if she were an object of worship, rather than a leader.

A Concerned Citizen
A Concerned Citizen
April 17, 2012 1:28 pm

I’ll second Fletcher’s Southshore suggestion. And the Western Plaguelands. You weren’t here for the Scourge invasion back in the day, but it does my heart good to see at least SOME of Arthas’ damage undone.

Speaking of the Blasted Lands, there’s a sight on the coast not to be missed: Naga enslaving Murlocs. I’ve no use for Naga, but even LESS for those burbling scaly bastards. They deserve one another.

But, as far as places and people who need a dose of Warchiefing? Sylvanas has already been mentioned. And as I’ve already mentioned, someone needs to yank a knot in the Regent-Lord’s shorts. (But you didn’t hear that from me.)