More verbal sparring, of a feline nature

sparring1

EPIC VERSE BATTLES OF AZEROTH!

GARONA HALFORCEN

VS.

SHAYARI

BEGIN!

GARONA:

Help me out here, princess, ’cause I need some guidance,
For how an A-lister drew a fan-fic contrivance.
From the Horde to Alliance, they all know my defiance;
But your own dad didn’t even know you’re alive, and
Now you’re eye candy loading up a shopping bag,
But you couldn’t be the it girl in a game of tag.
So Garona’s answer when they ask what no-name she wrecked:
Half broken, half outcast makes one whole reject.

SHAYARI:

You can stealth, but your crazy never strikes without warning,
’Cause we all know you’re more maintenance than a Tuesday morning.
We’re both draenei and orc, but one thing can perplex me:
How’d you get the “deformed” while I got all the sexy?
Now I know that you’re jealous, but the green’s still okay –
But don’t you think you’re kind of old to rock those pigtails in gray?
You must have a goblin stylist, ’cause your look’s straight Ratchet;
Every pass you made at Garry, he declined to catch it.
Now my mom’s another story, but don’t be mad at me;
’Cause all the hashtag-LadiesLoveMyD-A-D.
So wake up and smell the kafa, ’cause it’s understood,
You’re getting creamed, sugar; I make half-and-half look good.

GARONA:

Go back to school, daddy’s girl, you’ve still got plenty to learn;
You need to spec out of frost, based on the heat of those burns.
Looking good’s all you’ve got – no tales or triumphs in stock;
You’d best walk a few steps before you try to talk.
’Cause as much as you squawk, it’s no position to mock
When your achievement panel hasn’t even been unlocked.
My accomplishments are legend, my prowess proclaimed;
No one outside of blog nerds even knows of your name.
I’ve fought in two wars, traveled dimensional warps;
The best that you can do is beating on a dead corpse.
I was Emissary to the Guardian of Karazhan;
You’re a mage who couldn’t cut it in Dalaran.

SHAYARI:

You’ve got history, granny, but let’s look at the tale,
Because a blank slate’s still better than a chalkboard of fail:
You turned on King Llane, brought Medivh to his end –
Too bad you can’t kill these rhymes the way you kill all your friends.
Gul’dan’s lackey, Cho’gall’s tool – just the record, not opinion;
Even at your most legendary, you’re someone’s minion.
So keep grinding out your legend, Ronie, I won’t linger,
’Cause my ring’s the Warchief I’ve got wrapped around my finger.

WHO WON?

WHO’S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

comment5

comment6

EPIC VERSE BATTLES OF AZEROTH!

And, if we turn a blind eye to who's still around canonically...
Sibling rivalry (with an AA rhyme scheme)
 
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Rakael Towers (@RakaelTowers)
April 17, 2015 11:39 pm

So torn.

Ritaba
April 18, 2015 12:42 am

… It’s as even as the racial distribution.

khizzara
April 18, 2015 1:24 am

I thought for sure that if this battle happened I’d be voting for Shayari, no contest. ((I mean, full disclosure… I’m pretty biased, since Shay arose out of a brainstorming session between me and Averry, and I mean, i even NAMED Shay, so of course I think she’s fucking awesome.))

However, the more I think about it, Garona has a point: Shay hasn’t actually DONE anything in her short life, all she has is looks, attitude and potential. Garona may be crazy, unattractive and have done some terrible things (against her will), but she’s been there, man! She’s done stuff! Garona is a proven threat. Shay needs to go through the fire a bit more so we really find out what she’s made of.

But on the other hand, Shay’s like, all the awesome of the Hellscreams, draenei, mages, warriors, and teenage know-it-all attitude rolled into one sexy package. And Garona is cray-cray. So, gah! I can’t decide!

hobbodyke
April 18, 2015 1:08 pm

Me-oowww! How do you put up with these verbal sparring matches, warchief?

Cygnia
April 18, 2015 10:34 pm

((As much as I love Shay, giving this to Garona mainly ’cause she got SO shortchanged in Cata — not to mention I’m leery of her treatment so far in WoD))

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