Sibling rivalry (with an AA rhyme scheme)

It’s still Friday somewhere, right? Right…?

wellofeternity1

EPIC VERSE BATTLES OF AZEROTH!

ILLIDAN STORMRAGE

VS.

MALFURION STORMRAGE

BEGIN!

MALFURION:

The horn has sounded, and I’ve come as promised
To confront at my calmest the storm that rages upon us;
I’ll take no joy in this, brother, and I’ll spare you the gallows,
But I’ll drop you down so hard you’ll find the Barrow Deeps shallow.
You were always a black sheep, but you took it deeper:
Betrayed our peeps to demons like you were some fel grim reaper.
I dreamt the dream of the sleeper; you daydreamed like a creeper:
Leering at your sister-in-law even without any peepers.

ILLIDAN:

You foolish furry, Furion, you know nought of what you’ve wrought,
For even my blind eyes can see what seeing eyes cannot.
Now I’m dropping verbal blades, and it’s time to end charades;
You portrayed me as Betrayer – nay, ’twas I who was betrayed!
Just the same, before you stand there spouting off “disloyal” slander,
Maybe you shouldn’t just stand there when a Horde raid stomps Tyrande.
And while you dozed, one never knows if I received a conjugal visit –
Oh yes, you’ll scoff…but it’s a thought you can’t simply dismiss, now is it?

MALFURION:

When you reached down in the well, you must have fished that witless jest.
Maiev may be naught without you, but without you, you are less.
You sold your soul to demons, now to all persona non grata;
You were once an epic hero – now you’re a warglaive piñata.
Rejected, hated, friendless; and remember, when you go
Brooding on your skull of Gul’dan: you know him not, Horatio.
Slither off now to your naga; take the loss here that you’re due –
But based on Arthas, I suppose you’ll think you won this battle, too.

ILLIDAN:

You were always quick to lecture with your arrogance arthurian;
Here, have seven vials of shut the fuck up and hush, Malfurion!
Sold out? I used the Legion for the power I’d inherit;
I may now be half demon, but you’re at least a quarter ferret.
Alas, your beard – and facial hair – don’t have anyone fooled.
Now I hope you’ve taken rhyming notes, for Sha’do’s getting schooled.
You’ve had enough? Now shift to fraidy-cat and run off scared,
For I declare, brother, in this battle you were not prepared.

WHO WON?

WHO’S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

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EPIC VERSE BATTLES OF AZEROTH!

 

[Next Friday…the Garrosh’s Poetry Challenge bonus-edition finale! (Who will it be? Who’s to say?! GET YOUR SUGGESTIONS IN EARLY! And…I promise… some overdue for-real for-real posts between then and now!]

More verbal sparring, of a feline nature
The Horde is family (part 2)
 
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8 Comments
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abubhaji
April 25, 2015 2:30 am

Epic is right! Well done. Bravo. Encore. Hana hou! Zug-zug! FOR THE HORDE!!

rakaelwhispers
April 25, 2015 4:59 am

I had to give it to Malfurion for the warglaive piñata line, otherwise Illidan would have had it for calling Mal 1/4 ferret.

Vyrin Dawnblaze
Vyrin Dawnblaze
April 25, 2015 8:05 am

Mal pulled it back at the end–it was looking like Illidan was going to win until then.

Cygnia
April 25, 2015 8:58 am

Dang…was hoping Tyrande would show up to hush both their asses.

Ritaba
April 25, 2015 12:34 pm

Blackhand vs Lei Shen? They both had massive tyrannical empires, and both empires fell after they died.

hobbodyke
April 25, 2015 2:51 pm

Huzzah! The brothers Stormrage let loose their rage in a storm of rhyme!

…What? I just had to do it! 😛

khizzara
April 25, 2015 5:04 pm

The “warglaive piñata” line was awesome, but I had to give it to Illidan because of “shut the fuck up and hush, Malfurion” combined with “you’re at least a quarter ferret”. Also for pointing out that Malfurian doesn’t pull when a For the Horde raid pulls Tyrande, because wtf and how does THAT make sense?!

Alayea
April 26, 2015 5:17 pm

“Just the same, before you stand there spouting off “disloyal” slander,
Maybe you shouldn’t just stand there when a Horde raid stomps Tyrande.”

Oh snap, mon! xD