Tag Archives: alcaz island
Spazzle Speaks: Darkmoon Edition
What’s up? Spazzle here, everyone. A few days back, Garrosh offered me the chance to guest-write something this week. I thought today might be a good day to do it, since the Warchief and I had crossed paths at the Darkmoon Faire over the weekend, and I thought you all might enjoy a different perspective on what happened.
I went to the Faire with my cousin Khizzara. She really liked the tonk demolition game, probably because it merged two of her great loves: engineering gadgets and blowing things up. She managed to pester Finlay Coolshot into letting her tinker with the tonks. She kept attaching all kinds of gadgets to the tonks, tweaking the motors, all kinds of things like that…most of which worked out pretty well right up until the point where her tonk would go flying into something and blow up. Oh well. That’s Khizzara.
We were checking out one of the souvenir kiosks (I swear Khizzara was going to spend all her tokens on fireworks) when I noticed Gurtash at the ring-toss tent. It looked like he was with a draenei girl, trying to win a prize for her. Khizzara and I went over and watched him from a distance. His aim wasn’t too bad, but there was one toss that went far wide of the turtle. Khizzara managed to pull off a save for him, though. When his toss started going wide, she spotted a mouse poking around inside the ring, and cast Polymorph: Turtle on it, just in time. The ring clanged off of the mouse-turned-turtle, and when Jessica the carnie started calling it a miss, I jogged up and pointed out that it looked like Gurtash was trying to hit the other turtle, and it’s not his fault that they have multiple turtles in there without any clear indication of which one he’s supposed to try to hit.
When we were leaving the ring-toss tent, we spotted Garrosh over by Sayge the fortune teller. Khizzara had never actually met Garrosh properly, so I thought I’d bring her over to say hello. When we got there, Garrosh had just finished answering Sayge’s riddles, and he was getting Sayge’s buff spell based on his answers. I introduced Khizzara, and Garrosh was friendly about meeting her (well, friendly for Garrosh…he didn’t swear or anything), apart from seeming a little disoriented for a few seconds. After that, the conversation started to get a little more interesting.
Khizzara and I were about to leave, when Garrosh started to follow along. He said he had an idea about the Death Knight Rises graphic novel I’d loaned him last week, and wanted to know what I thought about it. So that was fine. I was happy enough to talk comics with him, especially since most of the time when I try to raise the subject he calls me a nerd and a pansy and asks why I’m not out practicing melee combat like a grown-up. I was surprised enough that I’d gotten him to take the graphic novel in the first place, so the fact that he wanted to talk about it was a pretty nice bonus.
He walked along with us while he expounded on his idea about the comic. It was actually pretty elaborate and involved, even though he insisted that the idea had just occurred to him a few minutes ago. He said that it seemed to him that The Death Knight Rises presented in understated form a conservative worldview that posited (yes, Garrosh said “posited”) that a flawed order was still worth defending insofar as it still offered a preferable alternative to the chaos that would result from a successful societal upheaval by the disenfranchised, and that the story reflected an underlying anxiety toward the undermining of established power structures.
By the way, even though I’m probably paraphrasing here (I’m nowhere near as good as Mokvar is at getting these kinds of things down word for word), let me emphasize that I’m also not dressing that up at all. This is basically what he said.
I was a little taken aback by this. I basically shrugged off it off and said I thought he might be reading a little too much into the comic, and that it was probably only meant to be taken as a good adventure story. At that point he rolled his eyes and muttered, “Ah, the intentional fallacy. How pedestrian.”
At that point Khizzara leaned over and whispered to me, “Int buff.” Now it made a little more sense.
Garrosh went around with us a little longer, and we were talking about all kinds of things, generally at a much higher level of discourse than I’m accustomed to, when all of a sudden he got a look on his face like something had come to him in a flash. And then he was off and running.
“Hold on, how did I not realize this before?” he said. “He’s Vol’jin!”
“Who’s Vol’jin?” I asked him. “I mean, other than Vol’jin being Vol’jin.”
“BOB, that’s who! That guy who keeps writing in to my mailbag week after week! How did I not think of this? It’s been Vol’jin all this time! And he’s been messing with me! He knows perfectly well the difference between ‘Invincible’ and ‘Invisible’! And that you can’t just sell the Warglaives of Azzinoth! He was just saying those things to bait me into correcting him! And I fell for it! Not to mention that when he said 6 – 6 x 6 = 0, I’m fairly sure he knew that was wrong, too! I’m actually embarrassed I missed that myself – how could I have forgotten my PEMDAS? It should come out to –30, obviously! I can’t believe Vol’jin’s been putting these past me all this time, and I never once put it together until now! What’s WRONG with me?”
He dwelled on Vol’jin trolling him for a while, but then he started running through other odds and ends that he hadn’t noticed before, little mistakes that he felt like he should have known better than to make. Not seeing through Magatha from the outset was the big one, really. But then, after a while, the int buff finally ran out of him, in mid-sentence, no less: “…and for that matter, it occurs to me, something that doesn’t even add up about that time I was attacked at Alcaz Island…um…hang on… What was I saying? Ugh…don’t you hate when you’re about to say something and then it falls right out of your head? Probably nothing important. Whatever.”
By this point the buff was long gone, and Garrosh decided he’d had enough of our company, so he went off on his way to try to find Gurtash. Khizzara and I kept playing some of the carnival games for a while, and I even won enough tokens to finally get my Darkmoon dancing bear! I think I’ll keep fairly quiet about that, and then swing by Grommash Hold sometime after the Warchief’s been dipping into the felweed again. Can’t wait to see the look on his face!
See you all later!
If you ever need anything,
Spazzle
News from two fronts
Everything is going on schedule – maybe better – with the ogres and their move from Brackenwall Village to Alcaz Island. General Nazgrim has gone to Dustwallow Marsh to personally oversee everything, and set up base in Brackenwall with everyone who’ll be going with him on the initial strike on Theramore. The remaining ogres have been moving to Alcaz in small groups, with infantry escorts scouting the terrain around their travel path to make sure they’re not being observed.
One interesting development in the midst of all this: one of the relocation groups have reported that while just making their way out of Brackenwall Village, they had a run-in with a Grimtotem warrior. “Run-in” in the sense that the tauren was making a bee line to Brackenwall, and just happened to run up on the travel party on the way. Either way, she didn’t much care about being intercepted, and only seemed concerned about finding Horde personnel, essentially to turn herself in. When they took her into custody, she insisted she needed to be brought to Orgrimmar. Nazgrim is going to question her in the village and then see about sending her along this way, depending on whether he sees something fishy in the works. We ARE talking about a Grimtotem, after all, but then again, Magatha’s been largely on the outs with her own tribe ever since her last little scheme, so who knows.
Meanwhile, we’ve got news from the investigations in Stonetalon, and the bottom line could be good or not depending on how you want to look at it. Dontrag and Utvoch didn’t have much luck finding a whole lot of anything, other than tripping into one of those huge sludge pools at the Sludgewerks and finding themselves a giant sludge monster that hit them with some kind of sludge breath and sludge sludge sludge if I have to hear either one of them say “sludge” one more time I might have to behead them. Which I’m right on the edge of doing half the time anyway.
Krog, on the other hand, managed to have better luck. He was stealthing around near Farwatcher’s Glen, on the outskirts of their graveyard – where he found our old friend Grebo. Or what was left of him. According to Krog, the body was in pretty bad shape, had obviously been hacked up pretty badly by someone, or probably multiple someones. So safe to say Grebo didn’t meet a good end. Shiny. I only wish I could have been there to have been a part of it. Still, we don’t know WHO did us the favor of offing him, or why they decided to chuck the body off into the bushes to rot.
Still…as much as I’d like to let him KEEP rotting, at this point I’m not leaving anything else to chance. I’m having the body transported to Malaka’jin, where it’ll be burned on a funeral pyre. Normally I would send something like this to Cliffwalker Post, but that’s only going to dredge up painful memories for Overlord Cliffwalker. Odds are he and I would draw even in the Who Hates Grebo More competition, so I figure I’ll spare him having to deal with this one.
Burn well, Grebo. I’m sure, wherever you are now, you already are.
I am become death
If you’ve been paying attention lately, you might have noticed I’ve been having a lot of contact with some of our people down in Brackenwall Village – Krog about the goings-on in Stonetalon, Draz’Zilb about his potential uber-corruption spell. It hasn’t been a coincidence.
No surprise to anyone that I’ve been on a pretty steady boil ever since I realized that Varian and Jaina were in the guild and must have heard me talking about where I was going with my mother last week. I don’t know why I should be shocked by anything these humans do at this point. Thing is, though, Varian I can at least see. I mean, make no mistake, I hate that motherfucker, but at least it makes sense for him to have it in for me as well, and he’s not one to make any pretenses about it. We’ve had bad blood going back to the Violet Citadel, probably further, not to mention he’s a hateful dimwitted warmongering orc-hating bigot, so of course he would grab any opportunity to strike at me. And if an innocent has to die in the process, all the better. It’s Varian. I get it.
But Jaina? THAT sticks in my craw. Let’s even set aside all the joking around and clowning I do on her and all the cracks about her being a slut which granted they’re totally true but not really germane to the conversation right now. But this is the woman who tried to play herself off as Little Miss Peacemaker. Always playing the diplomat, coming off like she’s the level-headed human willing to yank Varian back when he’s being an asshole (which, admittedly, probably kept her pretty busy). Always hiding behind her incomprehensible friendship with Thrall, like that made her better and nobler than the rest of her kind. Like she just wants to be our friend too.
And she was a part of this. Even if she wasn’t taking action herself, she knew. She was there. And all the while she probably kept on wearing her “Oh dear me, why can’t we all work together?” fake smile.
So guess what our first target is going to be.
I’ve been meeting with General Nazgrim to work out the logistics for our first strike on Theramore. We’re planning two waves. The first will be a ground strike launched out of Brackenwall, hitting the main gate of the city with several infantry detachments with artillery support. That initial wave will serve two purposes: one, to break down the city’s outer defenses and allow our troops to make their way inside, and two, to keep Theramore’s defenses focused on the main gate, while the second wave comes in by sea and hits the harbor.
The second wave will be the key one, and deceptively small. We’ll be bringing quite a few ships, but very few troops aside from the actual crews necessary to navigate the vessels. The real purpose of the naval strike will be to hit the harbor, land, and get a single squadron to deliver the real centerpiece of the attack: Draz’Zilb, bearer of the new experimental chain corruption spell.
Remember how I mentioned Draz’Zilb’s spell sounded promising, but needed to be tested until controlled conditions? Well Theramore is going to be our field test. Our troops are going to get Draz’Zilb into the city long enough for him to find a decent-size cluster of humans, cast the spell, and then get back to the harbor while the chain reaction begins. Once the spell is deployed, our incursion group will fire off a signal to let all our troops know it’s underway. At that point, EVERYONE will head to the ships – the ground troops near the front gate can be making their way around the outer walls toward the shore – and then get out of there by sea. Hence bringing so many ships when we didn’t have that many troops in the naval group.
It works out perfectly, really. Theramore makes the ideal test target: a solitary human colony, densely populated but easy enough to isolate. As much as Dustwallow Marsh is swarming with life, it’s mostly spiders, crocolisks…nothing that isn’t expendable. Black dragonkin, the last leftovers of Onyxia’s brood? Good riddance. Yeah, a couple Grimtotem settlements, but do you think I’m going to shed any tears over them? The whole marsh is separated from the rest of Kalimdor by mountains and sea, perfectly enclosed. No spreading of the chain corruption beyond that one zone, however it plays out.
I love when things work out neatly like that.
Nazgrim and I are getting the last details sorted out. I even got a couple of the goblins from the Gob Squad to come in and put together a scale model of Theramore and its environs for us here in the war room, to help plan out troop and ship placement.
The only small wrinkle is the ogres in Brackenwall, seeing as we don’t want to end up wiping them all out with the corruption. Would be kind of rude, what with it being Draz’Zilb’s spell and all. So I’m having most of the ogre population – the ones who won’t be going on the actual attack – relocated temporarily to Alcaz Island. They’ll be safely isolated there until everything blows over, plus we can even use the island as a staging ground for the naval strike.
Preparations are already underway. I’ve had the ogres moving in small numbers for the last couple of days, so we can do it gradually enough not to draw attention. A couple more days and they should be safely situated on the island, and then we’ll be ready to start. And if things go according to plan, pretty soon Sylvanas’ plague will have some competition over on the other continent.
[Header image provided by Rioriel from Postcards From Azeroth, reproduced here with permission and many thanks. Click here to see the souped-up Postcard version!]
Filling in the gaps
Okay, I was planning on writing this a lot earlier, but I ended up sleeping WAY late that first night back in Orgrimmar, which had me up late last night, and blah blah, up-late-sleeping-in domino effect. Any of you who’ve gotten into a late-nighter groove on Earth Online know the drill. Anyway, I’m back in Grommash Hold finally and settled in, and HOLY SHIT it’s good to be able to crash in my own bed again.
So I’m figuring you’re all probably wondering what was going on on my end of things since the last time I posted. Saurfang and Garona have been giving me the run-down about their side, but I’m still in the process of getting caught up on what Saurfang was posting here while I was out of it. Anyway, let me try to fill in what I can and maybe fill some gaps for you guys.
Last time you heard from me I was flying down to Alcaz Island. When I got to the island, Dontrag and Utvoch were still just chilling at one of those naga conjuring rune circles with Skarr, and so I figured I’d gotten there in time to get a jump on things. Before I could get my bearings, though, a gang of tauren led by Magatha Grimtotem showed up and attacked. At the time I assumed they were Grimtotem, but from the sound of things now, they must have been Twilights and just happened to be tauren. Probably hand-picked, actually, so they could seem like they were Grimtotem. Maybe. Anyhow, they attacked, and somehow or other Skarr managed to get loose not long after. Magatha was hanging back some and I could hear her chanting something, but I was a little too focused on the couple dozen dudes I had beating on me at the time, so I wasn’t really paying too much attention to it.
What happened next is still pretty fuzzy. All of a sudden there was a blinding flash, and I remember being thrown back a long ways. I think I hit my head on a tree or rock as I was falling back, but before I passed out I remember seeing a lot of the other tauren and maybe D&U getting thrown around by the blast. I don’t remember seeing Skarr from that point – I think he was the explosion. Looking back on it based on what Saurfang’s told me, I guess he must have been walking around with some kind of explosive enchantment, and Magatha detonated him when she arrived. So he really was a time bomb, just a lot more literal than I was figuring.
And for that matter…turns out I was right, just not for the right reasons. I thought Skarr was the phylactery, and we’d gotten baited into a trap bringing him out in the open. Well, we got baited into a trap, all right. But Skarr wasn’t the phylactery. He never was. He was the bait.
The next several…days, I guess? I’m not sure…were a blur. All I can remember is bits and pieces. Being picked up and dragged around, sounds of the ocean, grunting from ogres and ettin…that sulphury smell from the incense that the Twilights always seem to have burning all over the place. Purplish walls. I don’t know how long I was out before I finally came around for good. Even then I felt pretty groggy, so I’m figuring the fuckers were using some kind of magical mojo on me to keep me subdued.
When I finally came around, I was in the Bastion of Twilight. Magatha was running the show. Which, considering the place was obviously overrun by Twilights and not Grimtotem, didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. But man, was she ever proud of herself for having me under wraps. I had a few choice words for her…okay, you know me better than that, I had a few choice paragraphs for her…but after I got the initial outrage out of my system (which granted took a while), I managed to get her monologuing. Thank goodness for villains who can’t fight the urge to run their mouths, that’s all I’m going to say.
So come to find out, Magatha cooked up the story about the phylactery and fed it to the other Grimtotem through Arnak Grimtotem and Isha Gloomaxe, had her people running around making trouble for the ogres under the pretense of finding it, knowing that sooner or later word would get back to the Twilights and they would be all “WTF there’s no phylactery, is this bitch crazy?” Which okay, she is, but whatever. Arnak and Isha were the only other Grimtotem who ever knew the real story, or part of it, anyway – there was no phylactery, it was just Magatha’s way to get the Twilight’s Hammer’s attention and bait them into coming for her. Which they did, in Thousand Needles. And when they raided the Grimtotem and captured Magatha to interrogate her, they were really doing exactly what she wanted.
Once she was the Twilights’ “prisoner,” that put Magatha in a position to make them an offer they couldn’t refuse. Sure, there wasn’t any phylactery, but she HAD found a way they could revive Cho’gall, and she was ready to make them a deal. All she needed was the Doomstone, which the Twilights already had, that collection of tauren relics, which the Grimtotem already had, and a new body for Cho’gall spirit to set up shop in.
On the drawing board, that was going to be Skarr – THAT was his special duty, the job Cho’gall had in mind for him. Somehow or other Cho’gall knew it could be possible to bring him back in a new body if need be, and had Skarr in mind to be the one, which a handful of those Gordunni ogres were aware of even if Cho’gall didn’t spread word around among the cult in general. Who knows, maybe one of Magatha’s tribesmen in Feralas got wind of this from the ogres somehow, and that’s what got the call rolling on this idea in the first place. Anyway…
The only thing that was missing was Magatha’s end of the deal. I’ll give her this much, she’s no idiot, and she knew better than to trust the Twilights to hold up their end of the bargain if she went ahead and gave them Cho’gall up front. So that was her one ace in the hole: she was the only one they knew of who could do it, and they weren’t getting any resurrection until she’d gotten her payoff. As far as the other Grimtotem were concerned, the payoff was help in regaining power, retaking the Grimtotem’s lost territory…but in reality, Magatha knew that was a lost cause. For now anyway. The Grimtotem were reduced to bands of renegades, they were banished from tauren society and cast out of the Horde, they couldn’t even get the Alliance to give them the time of day…there was too much lost and too many enemies stacked against them for them to hold on very long even IF the Twilights helped them regain a foothold. Better to let the Twilights get Cho’gall back, and let the world burn. At least her enemies would burn with it.
But what she wanted was to be sure one enemy in particular would be the first to go down.
Remember that letter I wrote to Magatha, when she asked me for help in her coup in Thunder Bluff, and I told her where she could stick it?
Yeah. Guess who.
That’s when they started letting information about all of this start reaching us, to set off their plan to lure me out. Eventually when we went after Skarr, they started putting the pieces in place for a backup plan that would let them kill two birds with one stone – let us get Skarr, feed us more information through him, then set me up to be captured…and then put me into the Skarr role as Cho’gall’s future place of residence. A live Cho’gall and a dead Garrosh all in one fell swoop. Cho’gall’s revived spirit would take over, my soul would be burned up by the restoration – “consumed by the fires of resurrection” as she put it – and my body would be corrupted into something more “suitable” for him. Fun stuff.
Eventually they even had good luck on their side. In my stupidity, I sent that fucker Johnny Awesome to Thousand Needles, where the Twilights were still holding Magatha in “protective custody,” which gave her an opening to round up all the magical doohickeys she needed and cover her tracks all at the same time. I mean, think of it – at this point she was ALREADY basically screwing over her own tribe for the sake of helping the Twilights burn the world down. So now rather than having to come up with another cover story to keep leading the other Grimtotem on, she just sent Johnny Awesome to round up the stuff she needed from them, then got him to KILL Arnak and Isha, the only Grimtotem who knew anything at all about what Magatha was really up to in the first place. And then he comes back, “steals” the Doomstone for her, and sends her off on her way, so as far as anyone can tell, she’s just ESCAPED the Twilights rather than working with them.
Gotta admit, this is all so sly and sneaky I’d actually be kind of impressed, if it wasn’t all so totally revolting.
Anyway…you can probably see how everything played out from there, the trap-within-a-trap at Alcaz Island, and all the rest. Which brings us back to me being held in the Bastion of Twilight.
Eventually a couple of ettin dragged me out of my cell and set me up in a scaffold in the middle of Cho’gall’s old throne room. Still a little groggy from whatever spells they’d been casting on me, but I guess they needed me conscious for the big pay-off. Either that or Magatha wanted me awake so I could feel every last bit of it. Probably both. The scaffolding actually didn’t feel THAT tight, and the wood seemed to have a little give to it, but I wasn’t sure how much time I was going to have to struggle with it at that point.
Anyway, Magatha stood up beside me with the Doomstone in hand, tauren relics set up all around us, and started doing some incantations that who the fuck knows what they meant. Apparently the ritual called for some kind of ritual bloodletting (blood is life or some shit like that), and since Magatha wasn’t exactly one to turn up a chance to rub some salt in the would, she had the cultists bring her Gorehowl – she was going to spill my blood with my own axe. And then, just to add insult to injury…wait, no, she was already adding insult to injury…to add extra insult to insult and injury, she decides she has to get her last jab in, and says something along the lines of, “Fitting, isn’t it, a little loosed blood sets you on your way to becoming a monster that will lay waste to your world…like father, like son, eh, Hellscream?”
And I’m not going to lie to you – THAT? That pissed me. The fuck. OFF.
And seriously, when you’re trying to finish an old-school warrior, Magatha, what’s the one thing you never want to fucking do? Yeah. Feed him extra free rage.
Crack.
Snap.
Broken scaffold.
Pummeled tauren bitch crone, flying across the room. Gorehowl back in the right hands, and a whole room full of Twilights running in to take a number at the deli counter OF MOTHERFUCKING PAIN.
Just so happens, as I was starting to fight my way back out, Saurfang and the rest were making their way in. I think they might have run into a couple batches of cultists that Magatha sent back out to the exit to secure the way out while I was on the move. Kinda wish I’d been there to see the looks on their faces when they came out of the portal, actually. “Okay, guys, we’ll just lock this down and WHERE THE FUCK DID THIS OTHER ARMY COME FROM **CLEAVE**”
So…I think that covers everything. I probably missed a few details here and there, but fuck, this was long enough already, no need to go piling on more. Anyway I can try to answer any left over questions you guys might have. Otherwise, it’s going to be good to get back to semi-normal life, answer my mail, all that good stuff. I’ll write more soon, about some less apocalypsey stuff.
I’ll say this much, though. Magatha’s day is coming. I can take some comfort in knowing that now she’s probably an even greater outcast, even more alone than she’s ever been, now that she’s not only an exile from the tauren, but she’s even betrayed the one remaining tribe that would have had her. But this? Just wait till I finally get my hands on her, and get a chance to crush her under my heel. CRUSH her. See if the elements protect her then. Crush and burn and drown and suffocate. ‘Tis a little dream I have.
More soon. And also, um…yeah. Thanks for coming after me.
Going Rogue
Citizens of the Horde,
A peculiar turn of events has taken place in Ahn’Qiraj. I have just received word from Krug Skullsplit that the impulsive rogue Garona Halforcen has left him in sole charge of our Twilight captives and departed from Silithus. According to Commander Skullsplit, Garona completed the interrogation of the last of the prisoners – the majority of whom, to her credit, have survived the process – then took off suddenly without explanation, save a rushed indication that she would be in contact with further updates shortly. As Garona has proven in the past to be a valuable operative, it is my hope that this erratic behavior is well justified and that she will take pains to explain herself soon.
Meanwhile, on the topic of Horde operatives whose work has proven valuable, the prestidigitous ogre Draz’Zilb appealed to me earlier today for permission to undertake his own questioning of our Grimtotem captives, given his expressed prior success in extracting information from members of the tribe. His suggestion was that he could likely verify the repeated Grimtotem claim that they were uninvolved in and unaware of the aggressions that occurred at Bladefist Bay and, more importantly, Alcaz Island. I agreed to the ogre’s request, with, as it turns out, mixed results.
On the positive side, we now have fairly reliable confirmation of our original Grimtotem testimony. None of the Grimtotem tribesmen had any awareness of any of the aforementioned Twilight’s Hammer activity; and the extent of their involvement in the events on Alcaz Island was the sending of a scouting party to the island well before catastrophe struck – scouts who, furthermore, have not been heard from since. Draz’Zilb’s methods leave me highly…dubious…that this final testimony would be false. It is, however, these very methods that leave me less than entirely satisfied with this entire undertaking. Prior to today, I was only aware of the fact of the ogre’s assistance in previous interrogations, and, absent any further, troubling information, I was content to let him proceed with his proposal. However, upon arriving to observe the questioning in person, I was most thoroughly disturbed by the spectacle that greeted me; by this point, three Grimtotem captives had already died to Draz’Zilb’s particular interrogation “techniques,” and I was quite uninterested in having a fourth life placed indirectly on my conscience. Let me make no mistake: that we will kill during times of conflict is a matter of necessity; how we will kill is a matter of choice. And I will not permit such unscrupulous undertakings to stain the honor of the Horde. No matter how dire the battle, we must never forsake it.
As such, I have relieved Draz’Zilb of his support duties and dispatched him back to Brackenwall Village, where, I am sure, the venerable ogre chief Tharg will tend to him appropriately. Meanwhile, in light of this confirmation of Grimtotem innocence – a term I use here in its more relative and situationally specific sense – I have begun to make plans to release many of our prisoners, provided a number of containment measures around their various settlements to ensure their ongoing good citizenship.
Once again the old adage proves true, friends: never trust an ogre not to be two-faced when he has two heads. Honor go with us all.
-Saurfang
Draz’Zilb’s Discovery
Citizens of the Horde,
Some days ago I alluded to a conjuration proposed by the morally tenebrous ogre Draz’Zilb which, performed upon those entities who were in close proximity of the then-hostage Skarr, might cast some light on any magics unleashed on Alcaz Island. With the unexpected departure of Warchief Hellscream’s personal wyvern – still at large despite our continued efforts to find it – one of our prime subjects was taken from us, but since that time we have had occasion to revisit the conjuration with respect to our other remaining subjects: the omnisyllabically discursive soldiers Dontrag and Utvoch.
After having the procedure explained to them – a process which took no small measure of time, given the pair’s peculiar reluctance to allow Draz’Zilb to complete a sentence unimpeded until I intervened –
[Saurfang doesn’t have to get a word in edgewise. When he talks, everybody else’s words stop what they were doing and turn into “Yes sir.” –Mkvr., ed.]
the duo were initially uneasy about the ritual, as they indicated some prior experience witnessing the effects of Draz’Zilb’s spellcasting. After some reassurance, however, we were able to carry on with the process. The results were revealing, though perplexing.
Draz’Zilb’s original notion was that the proximity of Dontrag and Utvoch (and the wyvern) to Skarr at such time as Cho’gall’s spirit was summoned from within him would leave residual magic traces – aftershocks, in essence – on them that we would then be able to detect. Draz’Zilb’s divination did indeed detect powerful magical signatures lingering on the pair; based on his examination, however, these magics were not consistent with the unlocking of a living phylactery. Instead, he believes that the magical effect to which our subjects were exposed was purely explosive in nature – powerfully explosive at that.
While our information is, of course, incomplete at best, Draz’Zilb has suggested that his findings correspond to a sort of magical explosion that can be detonated by feeding off of the life energy of a living being. Such a measure would not be out of character for the Twilight’s Hammer, as we have had first-hand experience with their willingness to use suicide bombers in their attack on the Doomhammer. Nevertheless, it leaves us with many questions about what actually occurred to the ogre Skarr: not least among them, of course, being where he was when the detonation occurred, and indeed whether he himself was the instrument of the explosion – and, if so, what are we left to conclude about his role in the revival of Cho’gall?
Dontrag and Utvoch are, sadly, of little aid in filling in the gaps of our knowledge, as it is likely that the explosion incapacitated them prior to their removal to the island’s underground tunnels, and one can hardly expect them to retain clear memories of the final instants immediately prior to the detonation. I will likely dispatch Krog to the island once more to search for additional evidence, though I am not optimistic about there being anything left after our original exhaustive searches.
I have additional measures to tend to personally for the investigation. For the moment, however, having just spent much of the day with Dontrag and Utvoch, I believe I will grant myself a brief respite at the Orgrimmar tavern.
[Saurfang doesn’t always drink lager, but when he does, he prefers Captain Rumsey’s. –Mkvr., ed.]
I will update again soon, friends. Honor go with us all.
-Saurfang
Many Questions, No Answers, One Theory
Citizens of the Horde,
The more I consider our current crisis, the more troubled I become. Something is amiss, and I am at present at a loss for what precisely lies behind it.
Upon reflection, I have come to realize that our investigations have uncovered a number of loose ends which have proven most disturbing. Indeed, some of these loose ends were present even before our most recent movements against the Twilight’s Hammer and Grimtotem, but amid the chaotic last days before Warchief Hellscream’s disappearance, it is not difficult to understand how some of them may have escaped our notice.
Let me begin with the most recent wrinkles. Continued interrogation of both the Twilight’s Hammer and Grimtotem captives by Garona Halforcen and Krog, respectively, have confirmed their early testimony: that the search for the phylactery of Cho’gall appears to have been initiated by Magatha Grimtotem, not the Twilight’s Hammer themselves; that the Twilight’s Hammer then targeted Magatha for capture upon learning of the Grimtotem search, whereupon Magatha agreed to aid in the resurrection of Cho’gall; that, according to both sides, no alliance or agreement has been forged between our two groups of adversaries.
While disturbing in and of themselves, these facts give way upon closer examination to far more troubling questions. How is it possible, for one, that Magatha Grimtotem could be aware of the phylactery when by all accounts the Twilight’s Hammer cult itself appears to have been unaware? While it may be that the existence of the phylactery was known by a small, select number of high-ranking cultists, such that the cult en masse would be oblivious, it still strikes me as strange that, once word of Magatha’s undertaking became widespread amongst the cult, such high-ranking members would not have put forth some account within their ranks beyond, it would seem, “Well that’s news to us.”
Furthermore, there is the odd behavior of both the Twilight’s Hammer cult and of Magatha Grimtotem in Thousand Needles. Consider: if Warchief Hellscream was correct in his shrewd deduction that the linguistically spastic ogre Skarr was in fact the living phylactery of Cho’gall, then this would mean that the Twilight cult always had within its grasp the means of reviving its leader. As the Warchief rightly worried, this leaves open the question of why they would not make use of the phylactery, with the likely answer being that something else was yet needed before they could do so. The Warchief’s continued line of thought led him to suspect that perhaps the Doomstone and a collection of tauren artifacts – all collected and delivered to Magatha Grimtotem by the contemptible blood elf Johnny Awesome – comprised the missing piece. Yet, the Twilight’s Hammer already had the Doomstone in their possession before it was stolen by Johnny Awesome, which means that the cult possessed at the outset access to both the phylactery and to a power source which could be used to harness it. Therefore, once again, why would they not have used them?
My only explanation here is that the key pieces to the puzzle may have been the collection of tauren relics which were in the hands of the Grimtotem, and which Johnny Awesome recovered at Magatha’s behest. Another possibility may be that even given the availability of all these resources, perhaps – strange though it may seem – only Magatha possessed the obscure conjuring knowledge to actually make use of them, and so the key to the entire Twilight operation may have been capturing Magatha Grimtotem and gaining her cooperation. While these suppositions are certainly possible, nevertheless, I am far from comfortable with our current understanding of this facet of these events.
Finally, there is the matter of the attacks launched on the fateful day of Warchief Hellscream’s disappearance. We have, on the one hand, nearly simultaneous Twilight raids in Ahn’Qiraj and Bladefist Bay, one driving our people from C’thun’s chamber, the other sinking the Doomhammer and preventing its voyage to Alcaz Island; and on the other, we have the attack of Grimtotem raiders against the cacophonous warriors Dontrag and Utvoch in which Skarr was freed. The problem I have come to realize is twofold: one, in the absence of any alliance between the Twilight’s Hammer and Grimtotem, how do we account for a Twilight’s Hammer attack at Bladefist Bay, whose only rational purpose could have been to facilitate the pending Grimtotem strike at Alcaz Island? The only plausible explanation I can think of for this is that the Grimtotem attack at the island was not actually staged by Grimtotem, but by tauren agents of the Twilight cult under the guise of the Grimtotem – certainly possible in light of the known existence of tauren cultists, and further validated by the (ordinarily suspect) insistence of our Grimtotem prisoners that their clan never set out for the island.
Nevertheless, even supposing this explanation, we are left with a further, more troubling question: given, once again, that no cooperation exists between the Twilight’s Hammer and Grimtotem, how would the cult have become aware of our planned movements on Alcaz Island, if the only information ever in circulation on the matter was a decoy letter that was deliberately allowed to fall into the hands of the Grimtotem? How would they know not only to launch an attack on the island, but to attack us at Bladefist Bay (indicating an awareness not only of the Alcaz operation but of the fact that it was in fact a trap)?
I fear there is something yet in play that runs deeper than we have supposed. Indeed, the only speculation I can offer fails to account for the many loose ends, and should of course be consider cautiously. Still, in the spirit of this forum, I will share the current state of my thoughts.
That Magatha Grimtotem is a traitor to her people – both the Bloodhoof tribe and the tauren race in general – should be news to no one. But I begin to suspect that we have underestimated the depths of betrayal to which the insidious crone might sink.
I believe that Magatha Grimtotem may in fact have betrayed the Grimtotem tribe itself, at the hands of the Twilight’s Hammer.
This theory is purely speculation on my part, and by no means does it account for everything I have raised as a concern. Yet far too many pieces fit in place for me to discount it as the ravings of advancing age. Consider: it was Magatha who put set her Grimtotem tribesman on the search for the phylactery through her underlings Arnak Grimtotem and Isha Gloomaxe, leading them to believe by all accounts that the Twilight’s Hammer were also looking for it, and that the tribe might benefit from finding it first. Yet the cult appears to have been engaged in no such search, and the Grimtotem effort appears to have accomplished nothing save drawing the attention of the Twilight’s Hammer.
The cult then attacks the Grimtotem and captures Magatha. And it is here that I suspect the crone played her hand: through some means, perhaps she had learned of Skarr and of the possibility of Cho’gall return, and presented herself to the cult as the sole person living who would be able to carry out the deed. Note closely the events that would follow: an unwitting Horde adventurer, Johnny Awesome, comes upon Magatha, still ostensibly being held by the Twilight’s Hammer; he is sent by Magatha to collect the tauren relics held by the Grimtotem in Thousand Needles; in the process he is also tasked with killing Arnak Grimtotem and Isha Gloomaxe, very possibly the only other Grimtotem who might have had further knowledge of Magatha’s initial scheme.
I suspect Magatha only ever set her people upon the ogres to catch the cult’s attention, and afford her the chance to go to them under guise of being captured. I believe she offered her help to the Twilight’s Hammer in exchange for something. I do not know what it is, but it was a price great enough to compel her to turn against her own people, steal from them, kill her kin and indeed her very family in order to cover her nefarious tracks. I realize that this theory is far from complete, and still leaves yet unaccounted for no shortage of loose ends. Yet I cannot escape the belief that there lies amid these ramblings some kernel of truth to the crisis before us.
I apologize for the excessive length of this post. I did not have time to craft a shorter one. Strange events are upon us, and the selective culling of ideas is a luxury, sadly, which I cannot afford while wrestling with the many questions and theories that plague my thoughts.
We forge on against the darkness, friends. Honor go with us all.
-Saurfang
Flown the Coop, as the Saying Goes
Citizens of the Horde,
Interrogation of our various captives carries on, and begins to yield fruit, albeit gradually. Just this morning, the perspicacious rogue Krog reported to me personally to provide updates on his ongoing questioning of those Grimtotem who were apprehended during out recent operations out of Brackenwall Village. A good man, that Krog, and thorough.
His questioning confirms what we already knew of the Grimtotem situation – that they had, under the direction of Magatha Grimtotem through her lieutenants Arnak Grimtotem and Isha Gloomaxe, begun to search for the now-infamous phylactery of Cho’gall, so as to strike a bargain with the Twilight’s Hammer cult – while further indicating that thus far, no agreements or alliances had been forged between the two groups. Indeed, shortly after the nefarious tauren clan began their hunt, the Twilight’s Hammer stepped up their activities in Thousand Needles, resulting in the Twilight capture of several Grimtotem, most notably Magatha…who, as you are already well aware, was subsequently freed through unwitting (nay, witless) Horde assistance.
Nevertheless, I find the timing of these events to be hardly coincidental, and I suspect that the Twilight cult undertook a pointed effort to capture Magatha upon discovering that she and her kin were endeavoring to complicate the cult’s efforts to resurrect the odious ogre Cho’gall.
That relations between the Grimtotem and the Twilight’s Hammer are, to say the least, unfriendly is confirmed by early reports from Garona Halforcen in Silithus. While Garona finds herself still early in her interrogation of our Twilight prisoners (a process which, I hope, will not be slowed too greatly by the temptation to relish the process), she has been able to confirm a reciprocal disdain for the Grimtotem on behalf of the Twilight’s Hammer cultists.
Meanwhile, I have recruited the aid of the resourceful ogre seer Draz’Zilb of Brackenwall Village, who has already been of assistance in these events to both Krog and to Warchief Hellscream, in the hopes that we might glean some additional information through more mystical means. Draz’Zilb has theorized that, given the powerful magics involved in the phylactery containment of Cho’gall’s spirit, as well as in its possible release, it may be possible to conduct a divination of sorts through any living beings who were in close proximity to the ogre Skarr when, or if, these necromantic powers were tapped. This afternoon Draz’Zilb joined me in Orgrimmar to attempt such a divination, to see if any traces of recent spellcasting or magical aftershocks might be discerned through the three entities we know to have been present with Skarr on Alcaz Island (excepting, of course, Warchief Hellscream): the externally monologuing soldiers Dontrag and Utvoch, and the Warchief’s personal wyvern.
Draz’Zilb began his divination with the wyvern, which has finally recovered from its injuries on the island. (I will hasten to note for those D.E.H.T.A.-friendly among you, incidentally, that I was assured that no harm would come to the wyvern as a result of these magics; I am moreover informed that the Warchief had developed quite a fondness for the animal, and having enjoyed the companionship of numerous pet worgs in my youth, I am not unsympathetic.) Draz’Zilb detected signs from the wyvern’s residual magic aura that it had indeed been exposed to a magic outburst of some sort; however, the wyvern appeared uneasy throughout the divination process, and while it was still in its early stages, the process was interrupted by the arrival of Dontrag and Utvoch, which served only to further agitate the animal. Before our handlers could calm the increasingly emotional beast, it managed to slip from its restraints and fly off.
I have sent a scouting detail to patrol Durotar and its surrounding areas to locate the wyvern, but its whereabouts are currently unknown. I must admit, given our current situation I cannot say that the recovery of the animal can afford to rank as a high priority, though it would indeed pain me upon the Warchief’s return to have to report that we had lost it in his absence.
I shall continue to keep you updated as events continue to unfold, friends. Honor go with us all.
-Saurfang
Monday, so I am told, Mailbag
Citizens of the Horde,
I am an orc of my word; some days ago I invited you to write to me with your thoughts and inquiries, and promised I would answer them as is customary in this space. Today I fulfill that promise.
I write to you from our outpost in Silithus, as I prepare to begin our movement into Ahn’Qiraj. Perhaps this exercise will be helpful in clearing my thoughts before the coming battle. Let us begin.
Have you read any good books lately?
–Tarrful, Orgrimmar
Sadly, my hectic schedule as acting Warchief does not allow me the leisure time to pursue recreational reading. Fortunately, I do make a point of conducting regular briefing sessions to ensure I am kept abreast of important and relevant information, to ensure that the absence of reading time has not caused me to miss something of import.
[Saurfang doesn’t read books. He stares them down until they give him the information he wants. –Mkvr., ed.]
Do you play Earth Online too? If so, what server are you on? What class do you play?
–Kalaban, Undercity
I’m afraid I don’t know what this “Earth Online” is that you speak of. By context, I would surmise it is some sort of diversion or recreational activity involving the internet. Sadly, my schedule already calls for me to spend too much time safeguarding the future of the Horde and saving the world from annihilation for me to invest much leisure time in such matters. Also, I am an adult.
If Thrall and Garrosh ever finished that duel they started back before the Northrend campaign, who do you think would win?
–Kulkesh, Razor Hill
I could not even venture a guess as to the outcome of a battle between two such mighty combatants; and moreover, I can only hope that such a wasteful conflict might never occur.
[If Thrall ever dueled Garrosh to completion, the winner would be Saurfang. –Mkvr., ed.]
I must say, I was expecting these inquiries to revolve around matters of greater weight and import. Nevertheless, we carry on.
When the orcs began dabbling in necromancy, did you ever consider becoming a Warlock? I know you’re a pretty badass Warrior and all, but did you ever think it might be fun to have demon minions and dot people up?
–Davan Shadowspring, Silvermoon City
There was never a point when I was tempted to indulge in the fel magics of the warlocks. Indeed, I suspected even then that no good would come of my people’s dabbling in shadow magic. Moreover, I fail even to see the appeal of such practices; I find it much more honorable and rewarding to confront my enemy face-to-face in combat and best him hand-to-hand, rather than standing at a distance and resorting to trickery. There is a certain gravity and satisfaction to be found in feeling the weight and heft of a solid, reliable blade in one’s hands. And besides, I can assure you, if one is sufficiently proficient in the martial arts, one does not need a precarious spell to make one’s foes flee in fear.
[Damn, Saurfang almost beat me to the punch on this one: Every time a warlock makes someone run away in fear, he pays a royalty to Saurfang. –Mkvr., ed.]
I’m glad to see someone in charge again in Orgrimmar who’s at least somewhat respectable. I would wish you well in your efforts, except that in this case that would probably entail you actually finding Garrosh, and honestly that would end up leading to more trouble than it would be worth. So, here’s wishing you a mixed bag that keeps you in your current position for a while.
–King Varian Wrynn, Stormwind
P.S. Sorry to hear your men were stuck in those underground tunnels on Alcaz Island. Those things are creepy as hell. For years, I had these bizarre recurring nightmares that I was stuck down there, and barely even knew myself. Freaky stuff…
While I remain thankful to you, King Varian, for the kindness you showed me in light of the loss of my son, I nevertheless cannot let such denigrations against our Warchief go unanswered. I may remind you, however much good will may exist between you and I personally, I am first and foremost unwaveringly loyal to the Horde, and Warchief Hellscream is its rightful leader. I am myself, indeed, merely a part of which the Horde is a larger whole; and you may no more speak ill of our leader with impunity from me than you might strike one’s face and not expect the hand to respond in kind. And so, as Warchief Hellscream might comment in his own inimitable manner, I would take this occasion to invite you, King Varian, to engage in an act of self-copulation.
If da Lich King’s horse be Invincible, how come I be seein’ it?
–Bob, Echo Isles
Vol’jin, I don’t know what it is that you’re trying to accomplish, or why you’ve chosen to adopt this puerile façade, but I would ask of you, please, recall your station. We are leaders of the Horde, and as such it is incumbent upon us to conduct ourselves with a modicum of maturity.
I know the Dragon Aspects have a lot on their plate these days, but considering the interest they have in Twilight’s Hammer activities, and the resources and information they have access to, have you considered reaching out to them for support in the search for Garrosh? Maybe have Thrall speak to them on your behalf?
–Zhurzigg, Orgrimmar
While it would indeed pain me to impose upon the hectic schedule of the Aspects, my time in Northrend did afford me the opportunity to develop a certain rapport with the Wyrmrest Accord. As a result, I was recently able to arrange a meeting with Nozdormu at the Caverns of Time. My original intention was to travel to Tanaris on the way to Silithus, but initial preparations detained me in Orgrimmar unexpectedly; fortunately Nozdormu was most gracious over my tardiness (in retrospect, I wonder if he knew in advance that I would be late, all things considered), and welcomed me for our discussion nonetheless.
[Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Saurfang. –Mkvr., ed.]
Sadly, Nozdormu was able to uncover no leads that might help us pinpoint the location of the Warchief. His ability to delve into past events is, in fact, somewhat compromised by current activities of the Infinite Dragonflight, which is impeding the Aspects’ plan to retrieve the powerful Dragon Soul artifact from the past.
(As an aside, I must admit I would be tempted myself to volunteer for this mission, as it would entail the opportunity to witness first-hand some of the events of the War of the Ancients, in which my dear brother Broxigar had participated.)
[Contrary to popular belief, the Sundering did not happen because of the collapse of the Well of Eternity. The landmasses of the world heard that Saurfang was at the Well, and so the continents split apart in different directions to try to get as far away as possible. As it turns out, the Saurfang present at the Well was Broxigar, not Varok, but you can hardly blame the continents for erring on the side of safety. –Mkvr., ed.]
Nozdormu does still have the power to access the future, but this would appear to have limited usefulness for our purposes. He did suggest at one point that he might move us forward in time to such a point as Warchief Hellscream has been recovered, and then acquire from our future selves the relevant information as to how and where. This, however, struck me as a rather dubious solution; as I explained to the Aspect, in such a circular approach to problem-solving, the actual answers and information would not seem to actually come from anywhere, but rather be produced of whole cloth out of nothing. Nozdormu’s only response was to roll his eyes and, waving a hand about, mutter “Wibbly wobbly, timey whimey.”
The ways of the Aspects truly are a mystery.
One final note in closing: The one aspect of responding to your mail in this format that I do not particularly like is its relatively impersonal nature. Indeed, I wish to apologize to those of you who have written to me directly for not having replied directly in kind. When attempting to log into my “e-mail account,” the machine demanded I provide a password; apparently the device did not find the resulting cleave to be sufficient proof of my identity.
[When Saurfang…oh, wait, he’s already got this one covered. Good deal, boss. –Mkvr., ed.]
By all means, continue to write to me, friends. Honor go with us all.
-Saurfang
Pertaining to Incursions against the Twilight’s Hammer and Grimtotem
Citizens of the Horde,
It is a well-known aphorism that it is unwise to fight a war on two fronts. While I generally hold to the wisdom of this proverb, we find ourselves in a situation now where conflict has been forced upon us from multiple directions, and appropriate response on multiple fronts is indeed called for. I am reluctant to overextend our forces in such a tumultuous time as now, but circumstance dictates quick and decisive action in a number of directions.
Our forces have successfully mobilized in Silithus and have surrounded all points of entry to the Temple of Ahn’Qiraj. Garona Halforcen has returned to the zone and is coordinating the positioning of our troops with aid from the arenaceous field commander Krug Skullsplit. In the process of moving our forces into position, several of our battalions passed through regions marked by various Twilight encampments; these nefarious outposts are now, one might say, severely understaffed. Now that we can be confident that no Twilight forces will be able to escape Silithus, we have begun laying plans to send forces into the temple to put an end to the Twilight threat altogether.
Meanwhile, we have the Grimtotem to deal with. While Magatha Grimtotem has not been seen since her flight from Thousand Needles – an escape facilitated, I am told, by the ignominious blood elf Johnny Awesome – the testimony of Dontrag and Utvoch confirms the Grimtotem presence on Alcaz Island just prior to Warchief Hellscream’s disappearance. We are therefore undertaking a systematic sweep of all known Grimtotem settlements, both to investigate for further possible clues to the Warchief’s whereabouts, and also to demonstrate through appropriate force the severity of the actions that have been taken by their tribe against the people of the Horde.
I have sent the adumbral investigator Krog back to Brackenwall Village in Dustwallow Marsh, where, together with Nazeer Bloodpike and the ogre chieftain Tharg, he will arrange a series of strikes against the Grimtotem of Blackhoof Village and Direhorn Post. Meanwhile, I have authorized Overlord Chieftain Cliffwalker of Stonetalon Mountains to escalate his already highly effective activity against the Grimtotem in that region. Our actual military activities will focus on these areas while Horde forces in Feralas and Thousand Needles begin to make preparations to begin strikes there as well; as the outlying regions are secured, we will redirect forces to further support the newer operations in neighboring zones.
To any Grimtotem who might see this – I know not how adept the Grimtotem as a people may be in the ways of the internet – I would offer this counsel: surrender and offer full cooperation to Horde forces when they arrive. It will save all of us time; it will save you, most certainly, a great deal of suffering.
It has been suggested to me that it may be unwise for me to speak directly to the Grimtotem in such a fashion here, or, indeed, to lay out our plans where hostile eyes might see them. Foreknowledge of our activities, so the reasoning goes, will only enable the Grimtotem to prepare and counter our actions. To this I would respond from the experience of many battles: foreknowledge of a threat only affects the outcome when the threat itself was marginal to begin with. If you look out your window and see a fiery meteor the size of Coldarra hurtling down toward you, rest assured that your knowledge of its coming will not in any way empower you to prevent your house from shortly being replaced by a burning crater.
I will continue to keep you abreast of developing news, friends. Honor go with us all.
-Saurfang
[Header image provided by Angelya from Revive and Rejuvenate, used here with permission and many thanks.]
