Tag Archives: camel

Better luck next time, irony


Okay, so maybe backup isn’t such a bad idea. That was big ol’ pain in the ass.

So I climbed down the mountain a ways and watched the gnoll camp for more signs of Skarr. At this point he was pretty visible, so I climbed down a little more, jumped off from a ledge, and then pulled one of my favorite moves EVAR – the cannonball mid-air falling CHARGE!  Jump, falling, whoosh, WHAM right up in your face, and stunned to boot (probably in more ways than one)! Only pro warriors need apply.

And so, I don’t know why this would surprise me, but turns out, yeah, Skarr is about as batshit crazy as all the other Twilight people we’ve come across. As in, FUCKING COMPLETELY. The whole time I was fighting him he kept ranting and raving, and referring to himself in the third person – “Skarr” this, “Skarr” that – and so yeah, that settled the question of whether this was the right ogre, in case there ever was one. (And okay, let’s be fair, I guess it’s POSSIBLE he might not have been, and hoo boy, if it turned out he wasn’t, and I had charged and slammed him anyway, would my face have been red.) (No, wait, it wouldn’t. EXCEPT FROM THE BLOOD.) Anyway, he kept yammering on while we got to fighting, word salad half the time. We hacked away at each other, and he was hanging in there but really not posing much of a threat, when who should show up but the damn giant chimaera again. Swooped on in and starting breathing this freakish blue fire at me. Which really only sort of tickled a little, but it was annoying as hell.

Thing is, though, even that didn’t last too long. Because, you see, as it happens, Skarr wasn’t the only one with friends flying around the area, and, well, let me just put it this way:

Wyvern > Chimaera.

(Seriously, you should have seen Mortimer go to town on that thing. As a matter of fact, remind me to go into more detail about it later. You’ll thank me.)

So, it was back to me and Skarr, which being as it was a one-on-one fight now, really kind of left the fucking ogre outnumbered basically. I had him backed up to one of the ratty tents and was pretty obviously wearing him down, and at that point it was just a question of how to beat him without actually killing him, when all of a sudden I started feeling kind of weak in the legs. I stumbled a little, got my balance back, then went back to swinging at him…only my arms were feeling weaker now too. I damn near missed a parry on that huge fucking axe of his – and I NEVER have close calls like that. A couple more inches and he would have gotten my head. As I was pushing his axe back again – taking more effort that I should have needed, mind you – it hit me: the blade was poisoned. He hadn’t gotten a good hit on me the whole fight, but there had been a few glancing blows, just minor cuts really…but that would have been enough for the poison to take hold.

I took a second to reset my footing again, and you could tell he’d noticed I was off my game now, and he started pressing back more, and pushing me toward the hillside. I was still holding my own at this point, but it was taking more and more effort, and I could feel the poison kicking in and weakening me more. And I have to admit, as much as I know you have to stay focused in combat, I couldn’t help thinking how familiar it was.

So this is what it’s like to be on the other end of it.

Maybe I’ve had this coming. Maybe this is what balances the scales.

And right when I’m about ready to come out on the losing end of this one, cause of death: poetic justice, Skarr suddenly seizes up, locked in place with his head jerking up, then a second later splats down onto the ground unconscious, with Garona standing there behind him looking all proud of herself. Rogues and their sap-stun-kidney-shot-gouge-cheap-shot bullshit. Well, hey, I fucking wore him down for her first, so, you know.

We’ve just finished carrying him back to Stonemaul Hold. (And thank the spirits for that camel – that ogre was one HEAVY motherfucker.) We’ve got him detained in the main cave there, and we’ll be questioning him as soon as he comes to, and the camp apothecary hooks me up with a poultice to take care of the damn poison. Based on the word salad he was spouting out before, this should be interesting.



Camel Horde-r


Writing this from the Steam Pools. The settlement by the pools is actually a resort run by goblins out of Gadgetzan…pretty pricey, actually, although you’d be surprised the deals you can get when you beat three or four members of the staff within an inch of their lives. (And by an inch of their lives, by the way, I mean a total sum of an inch between the lot of them.) Best deals anywhere indeed!

On the way up here I actually thought I might have stumbled onto another lead with the whole Twilight thing. As I was flying over the pools, I spotted an oversized ettin wandering around, and since I know the Twilight’s Hammer people have ettins working for them, I went in to check on it. Turns out this particular ettin – huge one too – was pretty irritable, and started giving me some incoherent-grunting lip, so I had to smack him down a couple times. Or three. Or nine. Or, well, however many it was until he stopped breathing. Moral of story, people need to stop being so hostile when I’m in the neighborhood. I mean, if you take the first swing, I’m GOING to take the last swing. Granted, if I take the first swing, I’m going to take the last swing, too…but looking at it that way, pretty much the only way you’re even going to have a CHANCE at ending up body-bag-free if to hold back, cross your fingers, and hope I’m not looking to start something. It’s really just about the math.

Anyway, punch line is, the ettin dude was carrying around some gray camel on his back (yeah, I know, I TOLD you he was big), so when I dropped him, he dropped the camel, which then took a shine to me and started following me around. So I had to lead it on back to the resort and stable it there. The thing still seems pretty attached, so I might end up taking it back to Orgrimmar later on, but damned if I know what to feed a fucking camel.

I’m checked in now at the inn. Garona should be here soon to compare notes. Updates to follow.