Tag Archives: dalaran
Monday mailbag
Another Monday, another batch of letters. Let’s see what my LOYAL READERS AND MINIONS have to say to their favorite Warchief…
I feel like it’s been quite some time since last we corresponded. As it happens, I have been travelling, and taking a quill to parchment didn’t really make the cut of amazing new things to do. Which I happen to have recorded on a piece of parchment that I believe I wrote up two weeks ago. Anywho. By the way, did Rue’kara get her writing supplies back?
Anyway, my travels took me and Anaria to Ashenvale, where I made a very brief stop at the Silverwind Outpost to gather some rations and fresh arrows. Don’t worry, Ana stayed outside. I think she was freaked out by all the Night Elf corpses. Which, by the way, I totally respect you fighting a war and all, but couldn’t you at least clean them up?
Anyway…what I really wanted to bring up with you was the fact that I may or may not have bumped into your orcish associates, Seargent Dontrag and Scout Utvoch. Photographic evidence below;
My question may be perceived as rhetorical, but I am genuinely intrigued; where did they learn math? And also, when did math start becoming relevant in the days of the week? I think there was something about Brewfest math too but I’d zoned out at that point.
I really am sorry.
I hope your luck is treating you well.
–Sarlinia-Grace Starstriker, Argent Crusade
Well I’ll be damned, Sarlin, you were able to get in under the 250-word limit without even breaking a sweat. Will wonders ever cease.
So… yeah. You met those two. And… just to recap, for anyone who wasn’t paying attention, let me direct your attention to Sarlin in this picture…
…and yeah, that’s pretty much the look I have on MY face when the Wonder Twins turn up, too.
By the way, it’s not Scout Utvoch anymore, just FYI. He’s Grunt Utvoch now, as of a couple days ago when he got a promotion. Was he still wearing his Scout insignia? Minor point, I know, but stay tuned, we’ll come back to it.
Good news is, Sarlin, I’ve got an easy answer for your question. Where did D&U learn math? They didn’t. Pro tip: any time a question begins “Where did D&U learn,” the answer is they didn’t. Every single time.
To be honest with you, though, I’m less concerned about D&U’s grasp of math (hang on — I think reality just shuddered a little at me stringing THOSE words together consecutively) than I am about their grasp of GEOGRAPHY. You say you ran into them at SILVERWIND REFUGE? Just… hanging out like they were ON DUTY or something?
Dude… they USED to be stationed out there, then I fucking reassigned them to Stonetalon… like TWO YEARS AGO. They served there under Krom’gar (and the less said about THAT motherfucker the better), then STAYED up that way when I put the region under Overlord Cliffwalker’s jurisdiction. And okay, then Cliffwalker pulled a fast one on me and shipped their asses down to Pandaria to get them out of his hair and back into mine. And for this past little while now, while I’ve been back in Orgrimmar, they’ve been in town here too, temporarily, pending the return trip south.
And the reason I’m even going into this much detail about it is so you can really appreciate the chain of travels, relocations, and reassignments that D&U have had SINCE the last time they were supposed to be in Silverwind Refuge.
And yet, there they were.
You know what? Fuck it. Good place for ’em. Let Captain Tarkan worry about what to do with ’em. Maybe they can go farm some Molten Front dailies, too, while they’re keeping busy in Three-Major-Villains-Ago Land. Maybe that’s just how slow their brains are, that they’re still getting caught up from like two years ago, and so every so often they have a collective brain fart and think they’re still supposed to be at the base where they USED to be stationed and HEY EUREKA maybe THAT’S why Utvoch was still going by “Scout,” because the goddamn hamster wheel in his brain is still spin spin spinning around trying to get caught up to TODAY, and sometimes the hamster falls over in the wheel and gets whipped around a few hundred times and in its dizzy confusion it has to take a wild guess at what year it is and sometimes it guesses wrong. So HEY, UTVOCH, in case you’re reading this, check it out, THE LICH KING IS DEAD NOW, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT?
Isn’t Rhonin dead? I live in Dalaran and I hear him say something, like, every five minutes or something? Something about raising our eyes to the skies and observing? Why am I still hearing this? Is Rhonin’s ghost haunting us forever with his endless speech?
–Clarise Sunbow
Okay, so, I think I’m kind of in a unique position to say, definitely, that yes, Rhonin is dead. No two ways about it, dude got himself deaded up right good. Still, Clarise, that IS one hell of a weird thing to be stuck listening to over and over all day (not to mention annoying as fuck), so I went ahead and did a little research for you. NO NEED TO THANK ME. Seeing as you’ve apparently got a dead guy turning up and doing the same shit over and over, I went ahead and consulted with my own resident dead guy with a history of doing the same shit over and over, Doc Faranell over in the Undercity. Well, that is, I TRIED consulting with him on this. He mostly just kind of stared at me forlornly. Not especially helpful, really. Come to think of it, maybe Faranell wouldn’t know as much about this as I was thinking. I mean, yeah, two dead guys, but “walking around playing poker on Fridays”-dead is a lot different from “blown up by a mana bomb”-dead.
Luckily, though, I WAS eventually able to drag a possible answer out of Faranell, but he did it drawing more from the part where he’s a mage than from the part where he’s a reanimated dead guy with a history of being trapped in infinitely repeating time loops. Which, of the two, is really kind of the more mundane part of Faranell’s deal, and come to think of it, what kind of crazy bizarro world are we stuck in where being a fucking WIZARD is the BORING thing about someone? But anyhow, Faranell blathered some stuff about what’s probably going on, a lot of which I don’t really remember too well because it involved a load of technical magic talk and also because I wasn’t paying attention too closely because, let’s be honest, I don’t really care that much. BUT I SAID I WAS GOING TO GET YOU AN ANSWER, DAMMIT.
We soldier on.
So the gist of it is that after Rhonin got his ass arcane-kablooeyed all across the swamp, something about his personal magic power got amped up by the mana bomb magic power and the Focusing Iris magic power and did a thing with the whole Dalaran magic-ground-zero power, and something about a place that was personally important to him, and some other shit Faranell said that who the fuck can follow and who even cares really, and the end result is there’s some kind of arcane echo of Rhonin that’s been projected into Dalaran that keeps replaying a moment of his life over and over again. Which kind of makes me glad the dude never swung by this neck of the woods for a visit, because I’ve got enough pains in the ass to deal with without having to listen to “CITIZENS OF ORGRIMMAR! LOOK TO THE SKY!” every five minutes.
Tomorrow I am going to the Valley of Trials to face my om’riggor. At my father’s insistence, I write to you to confirm I will be joining that trainee program of yours, though I fail to see what I’ll get out of it. For the record, my father told me I should become a hunter, but I am no hunter’s son. Perhaps the Thunderlord of old thought that was good enough for them, but my father keeps wolves and my mother was a warrior, so I will keep wolves and fight for Orgrimmar. I was surprised when he told me, though; all I was ever told about my ancestral clan was that they kept the last wolf pen on Draenor around the time of the reign of Ner’zhul.
If you and my father are truly so frightened I will get myself killed, let me make this vow: when I am seasoned enough to command my own warriors, I will find my mothers killers and make them pay. Until then, I will bide my time, study the Alliance’s tactics and strike when they least expect it. I would kill those beasts now if I could, but they will only grow older and grayer, while I will grow stronger and tougher, as the years pass, after all. It will make my task easier, I’m sure.
–Corkrok Wolfrunner
P.S. By the way, your shaman friend hasn’t helped matters any – that wretched green-eyed wolf is still at it, and my father still doesn’t know what’s causing his condition.
Oh Corkrok…
…all these flavors, and you just had to choose to be salty, didn’t you?
You know, I get the sense that you’ve got some weird read on me that’s making you think I’m AGAINST you going after the humans who killed your mother. Let’s clear this up — I get it, okay? The Alliance killed your mother — reason #87,403 to rid the world of them –and you want them dead. GOOD. Awesome. I’m all for it. I am 100% UTTERLY PRO DEAD HUMANS. Are we clear on this?
The only thing your father and I want to make sure of is that you’re fully prepared when the time comes for you to square off against them in battle. So guess what — that means WE ALL WANT THE SAME DAMN THING. So, to that end, I’m assigning you to Overlord Runthak’s trainee group. He’s one of our best warriors and no stranger to the Alliance tactics (pfft) that you seem so keen to study up on. You stick with him, and soon enough you’ll get your chance to have at the humans.
As for the “green-eyed wolf” — Golmash, if I remember right — I know it’s still a work in progress. I’ve been getting reports from Mokvar, who’s the “shaman friend” you mentioned… well, other than the fact that he’s really NOT a shaman, he just used to be, but then I guess I can’t really blame you for getting that mixed up because honestly, dude changes classes more often than ogres change underwear (i.e., more than once per lifetime). And, well, if we’re being totally real here, even the “friend” part is at least debatable. But still. Yeah. He’s been keeping me up to date on his research. We’ve got a couple possible leads, but it might not be a situation with a quick fix. More updates to follow on that one. Probably best to let your father and me and my, um, shaman warlock friend friend (?) oh fuck it whatever friend worry about this one for the time being. Stay tuned.
In the meantime, good luck with the om’riggor, and glad to see you finally coming to your senses about training. Well, sort of, at least. See above re: salty. But, you know, whatever gets the job done, right?
What strength or other quality do you wish you/the Horde could assimilate or appropriate from the Alliance or other factions/enemies.
Undying loyalty,
–Sintra E’Drien
I mean, if we’re talking about one side APPROPRIATING things from the other, you maybe want to go talk to the ALLIANCE about where they got that awesome idea to set up a Brawler’s Guild. Just sayin’. I mean, not for nothing, but nothing pisses me off more than people ripping off my ideas (with the possible exceptions of Magatha and Johnny Awesome and gnomes and humans and murlocs and people who sit there on their big-ass mounts blocking the mailbox because FUCK those people). Seriously, what’s next? How many more of my ideas are going to get ripped off by assholes? Is somebody going to steal the genius idea to travel back to the past that I had forever ago? Or WAS it forever ago? WHO’S TO SAY, because FUCKING TIME TRAVEL.
As for qualities I’D like to copy from the Alliance… um… hmm. Kind of drawing a blank here, to tell you the truth. The night elves and draenei both have massive lifespans, so I guess that would be pretty cool. Although the blood elves live a damned long time, too, because elves, and I suppose the Forsaken are pretty much immortal as long as nobody KILLS them kills them, because, you know, they already died once and who wants to do that shit again? But that means we’ve already got the super-duper lifespans covered in-house… So… nope. I got nothin’.
So… hmm… maybe I can take a look at some of the other factions out there and see if they have anything going for them…
Timbermaw Hold — I don’t have some quality that I’d want to gain from them, exactly, but I DO find it kinda cool how, due to some tribal technicality, they recognize the Warchief of the Horde — whoever that happens to be — as an Archbishop. True story. I have the funny hat to prove it.
The Keepers of Time — Don’t even get me started. Also, not for nothing, but why do we actually have the Keepers of Time, AND the Scale of the Sands, AND the Brood of Nozdormu? Aren’t they all pretty much the same thing? Or is this some kind of freaky time travel thing where they literally ARE the same thing but from overlapping timelines and they need to use different names to make sure they don’t cross the streams because timey whimey and OMG FUCKING TIME TRAVEL. HEAD HURTS.
The Argent Crusade — I would love to have their apparent ability to be around Tirion all day and somehow not feel an overpowering urge to KILL EVERYTHING EVER.
The Sons of Hodir — Okay, you know what? This isn’t a trait that the whole faction has, and for that matter, it’s not even something I would want to pass on to the entire Horde. It’s purely something about that Thorim dude that I’d like to grab up for myself. The guy does an absolutely KILLER Baine Bloodhoof voice. Annoys the living FUCK out of Baine. Always has. Just being REMINDED of Thorim gets Baine all grumbly. Next time you’re in Thunder Bluff, in fact, roll up on Baine and just go “IN THE MOUNTAINS!” in the best Thorim voice you can manage. Even if it’s not that good. Maybe even ESPECIALLY if it’s not that good. Just try it. Anyway, I bet it would be a fucking BLAST if I could do the voice like ol’ MC Hammer does.
Tushui Pandaren — Okay, so here we go. I knew if I mulled it over for long enough, I’d be able to come up with SOMEBODY from within the Alliance that had something going for them. So, here you go, Sintra, here’s something from an Alliance sub-faction that I’d like to emulate myself — a picture’s worth a thousand words:
Nuff said, motherfucker. Nuff said.
I understand that some of my past conduct may have accidentally agitated you, but I am writing to assure you of my resolve to make amends and offer my ongoing service!
As one of your followers informed you in your last mailbag (See? I am even a regular blog reader and fan. Not disuaded by all the bounty hunters you have sent after me!), I recently risked great bodily harm to make up for past mistakes and eliminate Magatha Grimtotem on your behalf!
Unfortunately she managed to get away. I know I must have hurt her a lot though! Those Face Melters pack a wallop, and I can only imagine they must do even more damage to the target than the user. Otherwise I may have made a very poor investment.
But as you can see, my loyalty has not wavered! Even after all the time I have needed to spend in hiding. And so I write to you now in hopes that my efforts with the Grimtotem crone will return me to your good graces.
The blade of Johnny Awesome awaits your bidding warchief!
Lock-tar ogre,
–Johnny Awesome, Felwood
So, a few points here.
First, for anyone who doesn’t remember… ugh, now I actually have to relive this shit again… I ran into this Johnny Awesome guy a couple years ago while Garona and I were working a case, and he was all looking for missions to make himself useful, and so, you know, I went into questgiver mode and sent him off to Thousand Needles to find some busywork for himself or maybe hopefully get himself killed. IF ONLY. And so OF COURSE it would JUST SO HAPPEN that the Twilight nutjob cult was holding Magatha PRISONER in Thousand Needles, and she duped ol’ Johnny Asshole into HELPING her, and then she went prancing off on her merry way and don’t even get me STARTED on the whole shitstorm she stirred up from THERE.
So, second, yeah, this is THAT Johnny Awesome.
Which leads us to THIRD AND FOURTH, holy fucking shit do I fucking HATE that guy, YES I DO.
Oh, and, FIFTH, he didn’t exactly help his cause by somehow managing to fuck up “Lok’tar ogar” while writing to THE GODDAMN WARCHIEF looking for forgiveness.
But, on the topic of your request there, Johnny, let me put it this way:
SIXTH — Look at that, people, HE JUST TOLD YOU HE’S IN FELWOOD. THE BOUNTY’S NOW UP TO TWO MILLION GOLD — GET OUT THERE, GET HUNTING, AND BRING ME THE HEAD OF JOHNNY MOTHERFUCKING AWESOME!
That’s all for this time. Keep sending those letters. But not before you head up to Felwood and lay some decapitating on ol’ Sparkle-Pony-Boy.
More soon.
[The Warchief’s next mailbag will be Monday, May 2. Send your questions, comments, or other missives to Garrosh via or email through the link in the upper right sidebar, or, as always, using the handy-dandy form below:]
Monday GUEST mailbag: Shayari
Okay, so as I promised, since everybody’s been all curious about Shayari, today’s your chance to hear from her directly. Let me kick it over to her and see what you people have come up with. And whether I’m going to have to go out and crack a few skulls later.
Hi everyone! I’m still not sure how Pops convinced me to do this. This whole blog thing seems kind of lame to me, but I guess it couldn’t be any worse than Twitter.
Let’s see what everyone has to say!
I have hesitated long to write this, since it may seem presumptuous of me, but I ask you to take it that I mean this with the greatest respect.
You can certainly deal with undesired advances (being your father’s daughter), I would simply caution you in response to desired advances. It is not my business, nor do I especially desire to know with whom you might choose to be intimate, but you may trust this- intimacy is dangerous, and one who desires yours may be a deceiver, a flatterer, or one seeking to take advantage of you for your father’s sake.
It happened to me (long ago), and I would not see it happen to you if I can spare you such pain.
Also, I know it may be natural to want to rebel against your father, but he does care for you, and as Warchief, he is in a delicate position. He must balance many competing burdens, and anything you (and we who follow him) can do to reduce those burdens will only help him.
My apologies for the lengthy missive, and I offer you such friendship as I can, and whatever help or advice as you may want (even none, if I seem too much like a meddling old aunt).
–Sintra E’Drien (and her mate Lyssa Nightblossom)
Ps. If you ever happen to visit Nagrand, you might wish to consider visiting Garrosh’s Greatmother- I understand she makes delicious lemon-squares.
So, hang on a second… I don’t even know who you are, and you’re… um… did you really just come out of nowhere and start giving me advice about who I hook up with?
Who are you again?
And I mean, okay, yeah, Greatmother Geyah’s lemon squares, I get it, I know, I’ve heard about the lemon squares, I’ve been in Orgrimmar a few months and for real, spirits help me, every day with the lemon squares. To hear Pops talk about them, I should maybe go hook up with a tray of them, because, you know. I’ll have what he’s having. So I get it. The lemon squares. Even though lime would totally be better, but sure, you go, Greatmom Geyah. Or I guess Great-Greatmom Geyah, in my case? Except I guess she’s not even Pops’ actual greatmother, so I’m not even really related to her, so it doesn’t really matter what call her, so whatevs.
Who are you again? For real.
I mean, trust me, when Pops reads this letter, I’m pretty sure that’s going to push the ol’ enrage timer a lot more than anything I do, and that’s really kind of saying something, because some days I actually work on it. There are diagrams and everything. (I can’t help it — he just gets so wound up! It’s a real hoot sometimes.)
I tried asking your father this recently, but I didn’t expect to get the chance to ask you directly! You always seem so fashionable, what are your favorite places to shop? Anywhere you would recommend?
–Tandeleina, Silvermoon City
P.S. What’s the real story on your father’s love life? Any juicy details you can share? He’s usually pretty vague and evasive about it. You must know the real scoop! Inquiring minds want to know!
Okay, for real, are all these letters going to be about who’s doing who? Because I did not sign up for this. If I wanted a non-stop parade of gross and creepy questions that I can never un-read, I would get an Ask.fm account.
Plus it’s not like Pops gives me updates on whatever groupie he’s doing whatever with, which is probably just as well, because ew. Not enough therapy in the world. The last thing I need to think of is old people doing it. How am I supposed to eat dinner with that in my head? Ew and double ew.
But, as far as the shopping goes, now you’re talking my language! My favorite shop by far was Threads of Fate back in Dalaran. I used to have a little part-time job helping tend the shop on weekends, mostly so I could get the employee discount, and believe me, I used that perk up. When I realized I needed to get out of town, I definitely made a point of packing up as many ToF things as I could right off. It’s pretty much off limits now, though. Obviously. Screw Jaina.
It’s funny you’re asking about this, actually, since you live in Silvermoon. That’s probably my favorite place to go now! There are a couple good shops in the Bazaar: Silvermoon Finery and Keelen’s Trustworthy Tailoring. Finery is the more upscale place. Pricey but really good stuff. Keelen’s has good clothes too (even if the name of the place is kind of lame), not as fancy, but you can find some really nice stuff there, too. Also much less expensive. Like really inexpensive. I’m not sure how they manage that, to be honest.
Oh, and there’s also Kodohide Leatherworkers down in the Drag in Orgrimmar. For leather goods, obviously. They have some pretty cool jackets and bags and a couple other things I won’t get into here because Pops is probably going to read it and why invite the yelling.
My name is Mirembe. I’m one of your dad’s trainees (I’m the one who’s never around, if that helps) and proud meat shield warrior! Anyway, onto my question, since if you’re anything like your dad, you don’t like long letters.
When I was hanging around Nagrand, killing ogres on Lazyeye’s command (Sorry Mr. Lantressor!), I ran into Drae Drann *all spelling attempts have been scribbled out hastily* Space Goat guy in a cage in Mr. Lantressor’s camp. At least, I think he was a Space Goat. He was kinda lumpy and tentacle-y, but in all the wrong places. I couldn’t understand what he was saying, but he was kinda really dumb! I may have smacked him with my shield to shut him up, but I think I smacked him a little too hard because he fell down. Who was that guy, anyway?
Aka’mogash,
–Mirembe
PS: If you’re in Orgrimmar, please please PLEASE let me know how Gurtash is doing! I heard about what happened in Blackrock Spire and I’ve been worrying myself sick over him, and the energy-bandage dudes keep telling me it’s because I’m fleshy. 🙁
Oh, hey, one of Pip’s friends. He’s doing…well, okay, I guess. I’m not a healer or anything. No real news. He’s still out cold and resting over near the tauren part of town. So I guess he’s stable, there haven’t been any new problems, just…not awake. I know Pops has been going over to check on him, and I’ve popped over a couple times, and there have been some others going over. So he’s not suffering from a lack of eyes on him. I guess we just have to wait it out and see.
How were things back in Nagrand? I haven’t been back there for a few years, but I grew up in Telaar. Have you visited there? Come to think of it, I guess you probably wouldn’t have been too welcome if you’re an orc. I mean, I’m half-orc and they didn’t always seem to thrilled too have me around, so…
But so, this lumpy draenei guy. That would be one of the Broken, by the way, one of the draenei who were all…physically screwed up when the planet went kablooey — most of the people in Telaar were Broken, along with a handful of garden variety draenei. So I guess this guy would have been one of them. I guess he could have been one of the Windyreed Lost Ones, too, but I don’t see why one of them would have been in a cage over in… oh. Oh! OH! I think I know who that was! You met Corki!
And damn, I’m sorry! You met Corki!
I mean, Corki’s a really sweet kid, but, spirits help me, he’s dense. Like not even just your plain old regular dense. Just… just… Let me put it this way. You know those Dontvoch and Untrag guys, or whoever? I’m pretty sure they could outsmart Corki. Like, either of them, individually, without even getting the benefit of rubbing their bumpy heads together to activate their Wonder Twins joint mind or whatever. I’m actually glad Corki’s okay, more or less, and not, like, dead from walking off the side of one of the cliffs around Telaar because he saw a butterfly or something.
I’m not surprised Corki’s still getting himself captured by ogres. It used to happen, like, every few weeks as long as I can remember. It was almost like a hobby for him. I felt so bad for his dad, Arechron — he would keep getting these ransom notes from the ogres and get stuck having to pay gold to get Corki back, and then a few days later Corki would up and get caught again. I know Pops complains sometimes about how expensive I can be, but that’s nothing compared to how much Corki cost poor Arechron in ransom fees.
Lok’tar, Daughter of Hellscream,
I would know: what is your favourite beast? If you wish to find one in the wilds, I believe the Mok’Nathal of the Blade’s Edge Mountains would be able to help you. You’d have to earn their respect first, though, and that wouldn’t be easy; believe me, I know.
Strength and Honour,
–Rexxar, Beastmaster and Champion of the Horde
Hi Rexxar! I’m pretty sure we’ve never met, but I remember hearing about you during the last months before I moved to Dalaran. Even though they steered clear of you, what with you being Horde and all, the hunters back in Telaar used to talk about you with a lot of respect. Way more than they had for that Nesingwary guy. I don’t think they ever really knew what to make of him. Anyway, say hi to Misha for me! I hear she’s a cutie. As 600-pound fur-bearing instruments of death go.
You know, I’m not sure what my favorite animal would be. I used to ride talbuks once in a while when I was younger, and they’re pretty, but not exactly snuggly. Since I’ve been in Orgrimmar, wyverns and worgs have grown on me a lot, actually. A worg could be pretty cool. Or a wyvern, but I almost feel like I already have one, with the way Mortimer follows me around sometimes.
I’ve always liked birds a lot, though. When I was a little girl, we found a baby windroc that had fallen from its mother’s nest. I took care of it for a while until it was strong enough to go back into the wild. And I have a pretty cool bird now, too! He’s a hyacinth macaw. I named him Kalec, because he’s flappy and blue and he parrots back whatever I say to him! I know that won’t mean much to you, but trust me, it’s going to go over like gangbusters with the Sunreavers.
So I guess I’m not sure. Keeping my options open for now, I guess?
What’s it like to have a complete loser for a dad?
–Varian Wrynn, Stormwind
Oh, hi, Varry. I think you might have sent this letter to the wrong place. Don’t worry, though, I’ll make sure it gets forwarded to Anduin.
6 − 6 × 6 = 0
Discuss!
–Bob, Shado-pan Monastery
No, no, Bobby, I think you got your equation mixed up. Here, let me fix it for you:
(your penis size) + (your IQ) × (number of times you’ve satisfied a woman) = 0
There! I hope that clears things up. Don’t be embarrassed, math is hard.
What a privilege it is to be able to contact you directly! I was sure I showed great enthusiasm in my letter to your father, and that our paths would cross one day, but I never did anticipate it leading to this, especially so quickly! I am honoured to have this opportunity, daughter of Hellscream.
Introductions! My name is Sarlinia-Grace Starstriker or, as I previously stated, Sarlin. I currently live at Hearthglen in the Western Plaguelands and, you’ll be pleased to hear, that the place has thrived with magic becoming less feared and more valuable! Not that it’s an invitation, of course. Merely a point that portals are always available at my beck and call, for a generous fee. I’ll be quite honest, while the Argent Crusade has the righteous reputation as the noble and faithful saviours of Azeroth we are, there hasn’t been a lot happening here lately. We normally just lounge around, chatting, drinking, fixing armour, staring at our weapons and keeping an eye on the towers. Although, rest assured, there’s always guards at the front gates and patrolling the Plaguelands, just in case we, you know, get run over by gnolls or something. Funny story, there were gnoll necromancers here some time back, and one of the magi (Lisp, I think his name was?) was actually providing them with tools to raise the dead. Now, he was thwarted by a certain orc warrior not long ago, and was rewarded by Highlord Fordring. Still, I feel like I was the ONLY one out of everybody in the Argent Crusade who was still sober enough to ask herself the question: “Why the fuck is he giving necromancy tools to GNOLLS!?” Gee, what next? Will murlocs start joining the Burning Legion? So, that’s the general idea of how things are being run these days. I won’t argue with the drinking. Sometimes, you really need it, too. Miss Daria L’Rayne is quite a fabulous partner to drink with, too. Although she has been drinking a lot lately. And when I see her, she seems exhausted. In fact, most of the time, when I go to talk to her, she puts her hand up over her ears and begs me to stop, and when I try to ask her what’s bothering her, she collapses in a heap, sobbing. Very unusual behaviour! I just can’t get to the bottom of why she would be so miserable and yet not be willing to talk about it. And, come to think of it, I don’t really see her sober at all anymore. Although, she is Tirion’s advisor and I don’t get to see her much for that reason. I guess it’s a full time job. I hope she’s alright.
Anyway, that’s beside the point. No, I mentioned a few things to your father on the topic of you, ah, fitting in. I can relate in more ways than one. I may be a Blood Elf, but I was raised by a Night Elf in Teldrassil. Sadly, like you, I was banished from the lush forests and placed into neutral territory. My dear Kal’dorei mother fell in battle not two years later, and I was brought back the Horde, left wandering foreign soil, confronting alien races and wondering where those weary, young feet would take me, if they could bear my weight. I know how it is, trying to find your own place. And, as you may have learned, Blood Elves are not exactly taken seriously by many of the other racial leaders. This is mostly down to our prissy regent-lord, Lor’Themar Theron. You know, ponytail, braid. Not a SINGLE hair out of place. That’s probably how he lost an eye, come to think of it. He was too busy fixing his hair to realize that there was a fucking invasion happening. Rest assured, many of the other Sin’dorei are more attributing, in more ways than one. We’re strong, lithe, quick on our feet, faithful and exceptionally skilled in magic. That is, if we know how to control our thirsts for it. But anyhow, I digress.
No, I just wondered of your exploits since you met your father and became Horde-affiliated. How you’ve been settling in. What troubles you’ve faced. Coming from Dalaran and being landed into dusty old Orgrimmar can’t have been fun, huh? Have you ever been to Silvermoon City? It’s so wonderful, here! I remember Liadrin used to spend most of her time in Farstrider Square, training the Blood Knights. She’s nice. And hey, the Tauren Chieftains are here, too! Which, really, I don’t care much for them. Personally, that Sig Nicious guy has more arm hair than he does brains, but who cares! They’re famous! And aside that, there’s a lush, golden forest out there as well.
Or, if you wanted to feel more at home, there’s always Mulgore. I find that it’s quite similar to Nagrand, in many ways. Although, be wary of the mountains. There are rumours of oversized cannibal critters with guns, chainsaws and the like up there. Probably just a story to keep young whippersnappers like US in our place. Pfft. Like I’m afraid of a rabbit with a gun. Still. They have been said to absorb sanity, which makes me wonder if they’re, you know, actually Old Gods in disguise. When in doubt, blame the Old Gods, amirite?
Hey, if you ever, like, wanted to hang out, just let me know! Trust me, I’m a lot more fun in person. I mean, not to soak up in sterotypes, but I can do AMAZING hairstyles. Oh, and my fashion sense? FABULOUS. I even made earrings with the Argent Crusade icon on them, just so everyone knows to withdraw the swords when I decide to stroll through the likes of Ironforge or whatever. That way, I don’t have a tabard flapping around and I can still look pretty good. Oh, and guess what I have! I met a bronze dragon a while ago (babbling idiot, kept talking about how we were all doomed by demons and shit like that) who handed me this package before departing. It’s called a S.E.L.F.I.E camera. You can take these things called “selfies” with it! Oh, and mine’s got a diamond on it, too. Or is it a cubic zirconia? Anyway.
I just have one last question. I, uh, spilled my inkwell. Ignore the smudges. How are you getting along with your father?
May the Light protect you, good magus, and all you hold most dear to you. I eagerly await your response.
–Sarlin
Wow.
Um.
Hang on, I’m going to grab some kafa and try to get through that again. I’m pretty sure I zoned out at some point on the first try. Somewhere around the part where oh my Light.
So, stand by.
Okay, here we go again with a little liquid fortitude. PSL FTW, right? (Honestly, if I’d known the Horde had Starbulls, I probably would have bailed on the Silver Covenant years ago.)
So… wow, Sarlin. That’s…that’s impressive. Yeah, I can’t imagine why that Daria girl drinks so much. She might have a problem and someone should probably try talking to her about and a propos of nothing does anyone know how diligent the bartenders are at the Broken Tusk about checking IDs? Just a random thought. Don’t mind me.
I guess I’ve been getting along with Pops pretty okay. It was kind of weird and awkward at first. He didn’t really come to see me a lot when I first got to Orgrimmar — that is, after he met me. When I first got to Orgrimmar, he wasn’t around, because he was off in Pandaria on business. I mostly spent time with Liadrin then. You’re right, she’s pretty cool. But then after Garry came back and Liadrin introduced me, I think he was mostly pretty shocked. I don’t think he really believed I was his daughter at first, and then he wanted to send me off to study at the Undercity. And I guess I get it, it was probably a lot to get dropped on him, and maybe he just needed some time to get used to the idea. Still, after the way things happened in Dalaran, I suppose I was kind of hoping he’d give me this big welcome and take me in like the people there never really did. Or the people back in Telaar, even. They didn’t really talk about me being half orc, but you could always kind of tell…well… yeah, anyway. So I guess the point is that I probably had this whole dream scenario in my head. Which was probably silly of me. You know, setting up for more disappointment.
Things have been better, though. I’m settled in again here in Orgrimmar, and just porting over to the UC for lessons. Pops cleared out a room upstairs in Grommash Hold for me to have, with this little balcony that overlooks the Valley of Strength. Oh and here’s the thing, about whether it’s been hard moving to Orgrimmar — I don’t really mind it. You have to remember, I grew up in Telaar, which is really just a poor village built around what’s left of some old draenei buildings. So it’s not like I was used to having luxurious surroundings. Don’t get me wrong, Dalaran was amazing, and I love Silvermoon, but Orgrimmar hasn’t been bad. It’s dustier than Nagrand, yeah, but it’s still sort of…familiar, I guess. Eventually it might even start to feel like home.
It could still seriously use a few coats of paint, though. And don’t even ask me what’s up with all the spikes all over everything, because really.
Hello, young Shayari,
I am Lantresor of the Blade, chieftain of the Burning Skull Ogre Clan and formerly part of the Burning Blade Orc Clan. Like you, I am the child of a draenei and an orc, but my parentage is in the reverse — my mother was the orc, my father the draenei. My question is this: do you know anything about my father? I myself know only that his name was D’Kaan, he was a hunter of sorts, he lived in the village of Telaar, just like you, and he was dead by the time I passed the tests to become a Blademaster. I have had no luck seeking information elsewhere.
Also, there’s something I’ve been meaning to say to you – I assure you that I know and understand many of the things you have gone through, having experienced them myself. Be brave, child of two worlds; you are not alone.
–Lantresor of the Blade
P.S. Whatever you may have heard to the contrary, I am not trying to pursuing you romantically! Even if I was interested, I would know better than to seek a relationship with a mage – too much potential to become scorched earth, I say.
I know, Lanny, I’m too hot for a lot of people to handle. It’s okay.
I remember hearing about you back in Telaar. I picked up the fact that there had been other half-draenei-half-orcs, but it wasn’t something anyone liked to talk about, or even acknowledge if they could help it. Your name came up a couple times. Mostly fearfully. I don’t know what you did to put the fear of the spirits into those people, but I’ll tell you, whatever it was, it worked. I don’t know if I know much about your father, although his name does sound familiar. I think it might have come up in passing when Arechron would talk about some of the weird plant-based life, like the sporelings, that developed in Zangarmarsh after the world shattered. He would talk about these other…well… plant people, basically, that used to exist. Botanical something-or-other, maybe? Anyway, Arechron would sometimes talk about the rangari hunters who used to fight them, and how if any of the hunters survived the shattering they would probably take an interest in what’s happened in Zangar. That’s when I think he would have mentioned D’Kaan, along with a few other hunter people like him.
I don’t know how much that helps. I hope you can find out more about him, though. I know what it’s like not to know much about your family. I’m still trying to find things out myself. I’m still getting to know my dad, obviously, and I get the sense that there’s a whole bunch of other family history I’m still not in on.
Speaking of family history, does Pops usually get stuck answering so much of this stuff? Like on a regular basis? No wonder he gets cranky with people sometimes.
Well, anyway, thanks for writing in, everyone, even if a lot of you seem kinda weird. I guess this is where I should wrap this up.
And I guess this is where I should start looking up addresses for people who need a personal talking to.
More soon.
[Obligatory reminder: The Warchief’s next mailbag is coming up in two weeks, on Monday, October 5. Send in your letters either by e-mail (link at the top of the right sidebar!) or using the form below. Possible other guest mailbags in the future — time will tell!]
More verbal sparring, of a feline nature
EPIC VERSE BATTLES OF AZEROTH!
GARONA HALFORCEN
VS.
SHAYARI
BEGIN!
GARONA:
Help me out here, princess, ’cause I need some guidance,
For how an A-lister drew a fan-fic contrivance.
From the Horde to Alliance, they all know my defiance;
But your own dad didn’t even know you’re alive, and
Now you’re eye candy loading up a shopping bag,
But you couldn’t be the it girl in a game of tag.
So Garona’s answer when they ask what no-name she wrecked:
Half broken, half outcast makes one whole reject.
SHAYARI:
You can stealth, but your crazy never strikes without warning,
’Cause we all know you’re more maintenance than a Tuesday morning.
We’re both draenei and orc, but one thing can perplex me:
How’d you get the “deformed” while I got all the sexy?
Now I know that you’re jealous, but the green’s still okay –
But don’t you think you’re kind of old to rock those pigtails in gray?
You must have a goblin stylist, ’cause your look’s straight Ratchet;
Every pass you made at Garry, he declined to catch it.
Now my mom’s another story, but don’t be mad at me;
’Cause all the hashtag-LadiesLoveMyD-A-D.
So wake up and smell the kafa, ’cause it’s understood,
You’re getting creamed, sugar; I make half-and-half look good.
GARONA:
Go back to school, daddy’s girl, you’ve still got plenty to learn;
You need to spec out of frost, based on the heat of those burns.
Looking good’s all you’ve got – no tales or triumphs in stock;
You’d best walk a few steps before you try to talk.
’Cause as much as you squawk, it’s no position to mock
When your achievement panel hasn’t even been unlocked.
My accomplishments are legend, my prowess proclaimed;
No one outside of blog nerds even knows of your name.
I’ve fought in two wars, traveled dimensional warps;
The best that you can do is beating on a dead corpse.
I was Emissary to the Guardian of Karazhan;
You’re a mage who couldn’t cut it in Dalaran.
SHAYARI:
You’ve got history, granny, but let’s look at the tale,
Because a blank slate’s still better than a chalkboard of fail:
You turned on King Llane, brought Medivh to his end –
Too bad you can’t kill these rhymes the way you kill all your friends.
Gul’dan’s lackey, Cho’gall’s tool – just the record, not opinion;
Even at your most legendary, you’re someone’s minion.
So keep grinding out your legend, Ronie, I won’t linger,
’Cause my ring’s the Warchief I’ve got wrapped around my finger.
WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC VERSE BATTLES OF AZEROTH!
Paternity (part 2)
So, picking up right where we left off last time…
* In Garrosh’s most recent mailbag, he discussed the lank distemper, a disease that ravaged the Kurenai of Nagrand at roughly the same time the orcs were afflicted with the red pox.
Well, I guess that’s what I get for giving that job to a 15-year-old, right? Oh well. Moving on with the record from Taktani. (Let’s keep our fingers crossed on this one…)
(Yay, Mr. Warchief is letting me be his scribe again! I better do a good job because I guess Mr. Warchief was checking on how Mr. Gurtash was doing and he wasn’t too happy. Everyone else seems a little upset, too. I guess being a scribe is super important work! Mr. Gurtash looked really embarrassed when he left. I hope he doesn’t feel too bad because I think he draws good. He even draws me! Yay! Oh wait I think they’re talking about me!)
SHAYARI – Okay, so that was weird.
FARANELL – You get used to it after a while.
SHAYARI – So, who’s this one now?
GARROSH – Really, the less you ask about her, the better.
MALKOROK – More importantly, goat, we’ll be the ones asking the questions.
TAKTANI – Hi! I’m Taktani!
LIADRIN – Shayari, this is another of Garrosh’s assistants—
TAKTANI – But you can call me Tak!
SHAYARI – Oh, so she’s filling in for the pipsqueak now?
TAKTANI – Or Tak-Tak!
GARROSH – How many times do I have to tell you, THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS!
SHAYARI – Well, at least she seems a little cheerier than Chuckles over there.
(That made Mr. Malkorok really mad. He seems to be pretty grumpy. He spends a lot of time with Mr. Warchief so I guess he must help him a lot, but I wish he wouldn’t yell so much.)
MALKOROK – Warchief, one swing! That’s all I ask! One swing is all I’ll need to silence this…this creature permanently.
(I don’t think I like him very much. It makes me sad. =( )
GARROSH – Malk, last time, cool it.
MALKOROK – Count yourself lucky the Warchief is so merciful, goat!
SHAYARI – You mad, bro?
MALKOROK – I— you— how dare— sir— UNGH! (He paced around a few seconds, shaking his fists, grinding his teeth, and looking at Mr. Warchief now and then) I… I think I need to walk a bit. If you’ll excuse me, sir…
(Mr. Malkorok stormed off and started stomping back and forth near the bank. It sounded like he was grumbling to himself. I’m not sure, but I think he might have punched a couple people, too. That’s mean! =( )
SPAZZLE – Okay, so whether you’re really Garrosh’s daughter or not, I already like you.
(OMG Mr. Warchief is a daddy?!? YAY!!! That’s so exciting!!)
GARROSH – So hang on. Even assuming this is all true – which we ARE going to check — how did you wind up HERE?
SHAYARI – I was living in Dalaran studying to be a mage when…well, when Jaina went all schizo.
GARROSH – Gotta say, I knew it was only a matter of time before she went off the deep end.
SHAYARI – Oh my Light, I know! She thinks she’s such a big deal, rolling into town and taking over, and being all Emo Queen of Pain, and… Oh, and Kalecgos! Have you heard about her and Kalecgos? You should see how she leads that poor dragon around by the nose!
GARROSH – Heh, yeah. I’ve kinda gotten that sense from those two…
SHAYARI – No, no, I mean literally! He has a nose ring in his dragon form, and she’s got this leash, and— and— oh spirits it’s so sad.
GARROSH – Hah! Hahaha…that’s…that’s kind of awesome.
SHAYARI – Awesomely sad.
(I like when Mr. Warchief gets happy like this. He doesn’t yell as much! Not like Mr. Malkorok.)
GARROSH – So hang on, if you’ve been staying with the Sunreavers all this time, how come this is the first I’m hearing about it?
LIADRIN – She wasn’t with the Sunreavers, sir. At least not until the purge was well underway.
SHAYARI – I stayed mostly over on the Silver Covenant part of Dalaran. People knew I was half orcish…most of the time I would pass as full draenei, but the other draenei could see it. It wasn’t as big a deal when I was back in Nagrand, but… (shrugs) Anyway. After Jaina had her little hissy fit, anyone with any Horde ties became pretty unwelcome in Dalaran. My being half orc was close enough for some of them, I guess.
GARROSH – So, wait, if people knew you were half orc, does that mean they knew—
SHAYARI – I never talked to people about who my father was. My mom told me, and a few people back in Telaar knew, but…
LIADRIN – I would imagine it was for the best that the Kirin Tor didn’t know of her full parentage.
GARROSH – Yeah, I figure that would have made her a lot less popular a lot sooner.
SHAYARI – Oh my Light, you should hear the things they say about you there! The things they talk about you doing! I figured all those stories had to be some kind of Alliance propaganda to make you look bad!
(Everyone just kind of looked at each other for a minute. I don’t really understand why. Maybe they were trying to figure out why people would want to say mean things about Mr. Warchief? That’s mean, especially since he’s a daddy now!
Mr. Warchief looked around at everyone being all quiet.)
GARROSH – WELL DON’T EVERYONE AGREE WITH HER AT ONCE!
LIADRIN – Clearly propaganda, yes, sir.
SPAZZLE – Don’t know where people come up with this stuff, chief.
FARANELL – Unless, you know, they exist in this universe and have eyes. But sure, whatever does it for you.
(Mr. Malkorok came back over to us. He didn’t seem so mad now, but it’s hard to tell since he’s always kind of grumpy.)
MALKOROK – Apologies for my…outburst, Warchief.
GARROSH – Yeah, it’s fine, Malk. So anyway, you said the doc has some way of checking out this story?
LIADRIN – Yes, sir. Obviously the doctor himself can comment with greater authority on the details.
(While they were talking, Mr. Warchief’s wyvern Mr. Mortimer came wandering over to us. He passed by Mr. Malkorok first, and I guess he maybe thought Mr. Malkorok was a tree? Because he kind of…well…lifted his leg…on his leg.)
MALKOROK – UGHH this damned flea-bitten— I— GAHH I’ll be back…
(Mr. Malkorok stomped off again. Mr. Mortimer walked up to Miss Shayari and nuzzled against her leg. Aww!)
SHAYARI – Aww, (That’s what I said!) who’s this? (petting the wyvern)
GARROSH – That’s Mortimer.
SHAYARI – (still petting) You named him Mortimer?
GARROSH – Actually, no.
SPAZZLE – It came from that D.E.H.T.A. guy, didn’t it?
GARROSH – Yeah.
SHAYARI – Oh, those hippies? (petting more) Well, it’s okay, Mortimer, you’re a handsome boy even if the crazy hippies did give you a silly name.
LIADRIN – Shay, perhaps you could take the wyvern for a walk while we discuss a few things.
SHAYARI – Sure. Come on, Mortimer!
(Miss Shayari and Mr. Morty started walking around the Valley of Strength. The rest of us watched her walk away.)
TAKTANI – I like her! She seems nice!
SPAZZLE – Not gonna lie. She had me at “You mad, bro?”
LIADRIN – Warchief? Any thoughts?
GARROSH – I don’t know. But her story from Nagrand…well, she’s got her details straight. At least the names and dates.
(Mr. Warchief looked across the valley for a minute to watch Miss Shayari and Mr. Mortimer walking by the main gate.)
GARROSH – Mortimer seems to like her.
SPAZZLE – Yeah, he took to her right away.
GARROSH – He is a pretty good judge of character.
FARANELL – This would be the wyvern that likes you, correct?
GARROSH – Your point being, Easy-Break?
FARANELL – Just citing further evidence to your point, obviously.
LIADRIN – Loathe though I am to agree with the overlord—
SPAZZLE – Isn’t it funny how you’ve known him for like five minutes, and you already hate to admit he might have a point?
LIADRIN – …he does raise a valid concern. The details of Shayari’s past all build on information that could have been acquired, albeit with some measure of difficulty.
GARROSH – Yeah. They would have to do some digging, but they could have pieced it together.
LIADRIN – The fact that she comes from Dalaran is cause for us to be all the more wary.
(Mr. Warchief looked across at Miss Shayari, who was still walking with Mr. Mortimer around the Valley of Strength. In front of the Broken Tusk, she started talking with one of the orcs, Mr. Thathung.)
GARROSH – What do you really think?
LIADRIN – I think that if she is who she says she is, she lives in a better world than we do.
GARROSH – …In Common, please?
LIADRIN – (sighing but smiling) I only mean that if she is your daughter, sir, she’s grown up hearing stories from the Alliance about the orcs, and about you in particular, and yet she’s come here fully expecting to be embraced by her father and given a home. As she said herself, she’s been told countless reasons to consider you a villain – and rejected all of them as lies. If that really is her, I may even envy her.
GARROSH – So you believe her.
LIADRIN – I would still counsel prudence. But I prefer to hope for the best in people.
GARROSH – Sounds like you live in a “better world” yourself.
LIADRIN – No, I don’t. That’s why I hate to give up on the possibility of an unbroken soul. I know this world well enough to understand how rare they are.
(Over by the Broken Tusk, Shayari had been continuing to talk with Mr. Thathung all this time – only she looked like she was getting pretty upset with Mr. Thathung for some reason. Now she finally hit him! Um…a whole bunch of times! Over and over and over, really angry-like! Oh no!)
SHAYARI – (in the distance, but still clearly audible) Hey, I said to WATCH THE HANDS, Grabby McWanderpaws! (flinging Mr. Thathung against the auction house wall and continuing to beat him senseless) Yeah! See how you like people grabbing YOU! NEXT TIME I’LL TAKE YOUR FUCKING HAND CLEAN OFF AND FUCKING FEED IT TO YOU – IN REVERSE!
(Mr. Warchief, Ms. Liadrin, Mr. Goblin, and Dr. Zombie looked back and forth at each other.)
SPAZZLE – Huh.
GARROSH – Well then.
FARANELL – So, yeah, I can still do the tests if you want, but honestly, if you ask me, it’s just going to be a waste of perfectly good ichor.
So…yeah. I still have a million and one things to deal with here in Orgrimmar before I head back to Pandaria, but…well, now I guess that’s going to be a million and two.
Stay tuned.
Homecoming
So now that things are kind of under control in Pandaria, Malkorok and I have been taking a few days to travel back to Orgrimmar and check on things there. So far it’s been one damn thing after another, all the way down to Orphan Matron Battlwail giving me a few dirty looks, for what reason I have no idea. I swear, if I leave town for any length of time, everything goes right down the tubes. It never ceases to amaze me how many of these people turn into a bunch of Dontrags and Utvochs if they don’t have me there to cut their meat into little pieces for them.
Center stage, though, is Eitrigg. I left him minding the store while I was in Pandaria, and no sooner had I boarded the ship than all that crap started going down with Mokvar. I had a good long meeting with Eitrigg earlier today about just what the fuck was going on, and he tried explaining his reasoning for Iffy Decisions A through G, but honestly I’m starting to think age is starting to catch up to him. I’ve got another meeting lined up with him later in the week, and I’m thinking I may have to arrange a little more…support before I head back south. I’ve already talked to Overlord Runthak about taking over military command directly, and beyond that, I’m thinking Eitrigg could benefit from having a Kor’kron overseer or two assigned to him to do a little, well, overseeing. Overseer Elaglo’s been doing some good work on a couple projects, so I’m thinking he might be in line for the call.
Anyway, I’ve got a bunch more people I need to touch base with, but our old buddy Liadrin is in Orgrimmar and has been asking to see me — not to mention I’ve had Spazzle in my ear yammering away on her behalf, about some big important thing she needs to discuss with me. So I figured I should see what’s up with those two. We hooked up outside Grommash Hold right after my debriefing with Eitrigg. Luckily, Gurtash’s hand is healed up enough that he’s able to get back to doodle duty…
* Horde agents, with aid from within Dalaran, stole the Divine Bell from Darnassus, as accounted here.
** As Garrosh notes, Jaina did indeed get a bit upset about this. Spazzle reported on the purge of Dalaran here.
* Liadrin arrived in Orgrimmar and met with Spazzle here.
Spazzle Speaks
Lady Liadrin arrived in Orgrimmar yesterday with a zeppelin full of refugees from Dalaran. Earlier this morning, she got a few of us together to have that conversation she’d written to me about.
And…well…
Oh man.
I don’t even know where to…I mean…
Oh…man.
You know what? I can’t even get into it. I just can’t.
I…
Yeah.
Oh man.
Spazzle Speaks: Someone Must Have Kicked You Around Some
I just received a message from Lady Liadrin in Silvermoon. As if there wasn’t already enough going on these days, it looks like the Kirin Tor have gone crazy.
After Horde agents captured the Divine Bell from Darnassus, Liadrin says, Jaina Proudmoore determined that the operation had received aid from within the Kirin Tor. She was…none too pleased about that. As a result, she arrested Aethas Sunreaver as a traitor and began a purge of Dalaran that’s been going on for the last few days. The Sunreavers and any Horde citizens in the city are being arrested or driven out. Or worse.
Grand Magister Rommanth recruited the aid of Horde adventurers to try to get as many of their people out of Dalaran as possible. Since then, there’s been a flood of refugees coming into Silvermoon. Liadrin has been helping to coordinate the influx of refugees as they’ve arrived. While most of the arrivals from Dalaran have been Sunreavers – blood elves – there were also other Horde citizens who were driven out. Orcs, trolls, tauren, even a few Forsaken. Liadrin has been working to sort out who will be staying in Silvermoon and who needs to be brought home to Kalimdor.
That’s where we get to her reason for contacting me. To be honest, I was surprised to get a message from her at all, seeing as she’s never actually met me, but I guess she picked up my name somewhere. She says she’s working with Eitrigg to arrange to bring a zeppelin of refugees to Orgrimmar. When she arrives, she wants to meet with as many of Garrosh’s friends as possible. (She can probably use a fairly liberal definition of “friends” and not tax her schedule too much.) She didn’t say what she wants to talk about, only that it’s important. I guess we’ll see once she gets here.
West Azeroth Story
Barnes walks onstage and a spotlight appears over him.
BARNES: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to this evening’s presentation! Tonight we explore a tale of forbidden love! But beware, for not all love stories end happily. As you may find out, sometimes love pricks like a thorn. But don’t take it from me. See for yourself what tragedy lies ahead when the paths of star-crossed lovers meet. And now: On with the show!
Barnes walks offstage. The curtain rises, revealing a farm house with a Horde banner flying behind it. In the foreground, Garrosh enters from stage right, with Mokvar, Garona, Dontrag, Utvoch, Liadrin, and Faranell in formation behind him. As they walk by the farm, they begin snapping their fingers rhythmically in unison. They continue walking until they disappear from view, stage left.
The lights dim for a moment, then come back on, showing that the farm house has been replaced by a blacksmith’s building. Again, a Horde banner flies in the background. Garrosh et al enter stage left, still walking in formation and snapping their fingers in unison. Again they walk across the stage and exit, stage right.
Blackout. This time, the blacksmith building has been replaced by a stable. Garrosh et al enter stage right and walk past the stable, snapping their fingers – then, stopping their snapping, they turn and look back at the Alliance flag flying nearby.
From stage left, Varian Wrynn enters with a group of Alliance – including Jaina Proudmoore, Falstad Wildhammer, and Shandris Feathermoon. The Horde group turns to see them, and the two sides stare each other down for a moment.
As hectic music fills the air, the two groups launch into combat and fight back and forth acrobatically as if dancing to the music.
GARROSH: For the Horde!
ALL HORDE: For the Horde!
VARIAN: For the Alliance!
ALL ALLIANCE: Alliance!
GARROSH: Oh, fuck you, Varian!
VARIAN: This time there’ll be no escape for you, Hellscream!
The two sides continue fighting back and forth in front of the stables.
GARROSH: For fuck’s sake, you idiots, stop fighting in the middle and cap the damn flag!
VARIAN: There’re all here! The mine has to be open, some of you get over there!
LIADRIN: Someone come with me to cover the blacksmith before they get there!
Most of the combatants rush off in different directions, until Garrosh and Faranell find themselves alone with Varian, Jaina, Shandris, and several anonymous Alliance soldiers.
GARROSH: Okay, now to—
FARANELL: Not liking the odds here, boss – lumber mill coming up!
Faranell grabs Garrosh and teleports them both away just as Varian starts to rush at them. Varian looks around, then points at a red-shirted dwarf.
VARIAN: You, fact checker! Watch the stables while we circle around. Let’s go!
Varian and the others rush off, leaving the Wildhammer Fact Checker standing alone by the flag. After a moment, the dwarf lurches forward, stunned, as Garona unstealths behind him and starts stabbing him wildly with two daggers until he collapses to the ground.
GARONA: <turning to the flag> Lok’tar!
Blackout. At the blacksmith, Liadrin and Mokvar fight Shandris and an Alliance soldier, pushing them back until they fight their way offstage to the right.
Blackout. The landscape changes to that of the Isle of Conquest. From stage right, Garrosh, Liadrin, and Dontrag enter, followed by Flastad driving a glaive, with Jaina casting fireballs in support. The Alliance drive the Horde back until they exit to the left.
Blackout. This time the surrounding scenery is that of Wintergrasp. Varian and Jaina enter from stage left, chased by a demonlisher manned by Garrosh, Garona, and Utvoch, plus a catapult driven by Faranell. The Horde continues chasing the Alliance until they all exit, stage right.
Blackout. The scene changes to the Ring of Champions at the Argent Tournament grounds. From opposite sides of the stage, the Horde and Alliance groups rush in and begin fighting across the ring, again moving in rhythm with the music.
After a few minutes of combat, Tirion Fordring enters, runs to the middle of the fray, and emits a burst of light from the Ashbringer that knocks back all the combatants. Tirion looks back and forth at the two groups disapprovingly; they return to their feet and look back at him uneasily.
GARROSH: Oh. Hey.
VARIAN: Greetings, Highlord.
TIRION: If I might have a word, gentlemen.
GARROSH and VARIAN: Oh no.
TIRION: Much hope has been invested in an eventual peace between both your peoples, not least of all by the great archmage Rhonin, in his noble planning of the peace summit in Dalaran that draws near. Indeed, my own friendship with your own kinsman Eitrigg, Warchief Hellscream, stands, if I might dare flatter myself, in illustration of the fellowship that might be wrought between two divergent cultures, and, indeed, worlds—
VARIAN: Look, Tirion—
GARROSH: Seriously, you don’t have to—
TIRION: —one that you both may well benefit to heed. For surely, two such mighty and wise leaders as yourselves cannot but recognize the merit in looking beyond these petty, mutually destructive squabbles—
GARROSH: Dude, really, couldn’t you just let us slowly hack each other to death?
VARIAN: It would be faster and more humane.
TIRION: —in order to secure a lasting stability that would work to both your advantages.
Garrosh and Varian stare at Tirion in silence for several seconds.
GARROSH: Were you done?
TIRION: <sighs> In any case… Under my roof, gentlemen, I trust you will behave yourselves.
VARIAN: Fine, Tirion. I’ll talk to you later. Or try to.
Varian leaves, the other Alliance following close behind. Tirion nods to Garrosh and likewise exits, in the opposite direction.
FARANELL: Well that was arguably needlessly elaborate.
DONTRAG: What’s the plan now, if I might inquire, oh great and nefarious Warchief?
FARANELL: “Nefarious”…?
MOKVAR: Just let him.
UTVOCH: Indeed, sir, are you planning to go through with the peace summit?
GARROSH: Dude, did you just meet me today or something?
FARANELL: Not to mention it would have been a lot easier just to fly up here if that were the case, without having to find parking spaces for all the demolishers.
GARROSH: The only peace I’m interested in with that Alliance scum is the one that will come after we’ve crushed them beneath our boots, and secured the supremacy of the Horde!
DONTRAG: For the Horde!
GARONA: For the Horde!
GARROSH: FOR THE HORDE!
{HORDE SONG}
GARROSH:
When you’re the Horde
You stand mighty and strong!
If the humans come toward,
They won’t be standing long.When you’re the Horde
You’re united and brave,
And across Kalimdor
Full dominion you crave.You’re not backing down,
You’re not intimidated!
You’re green and you’re brown.
(I hope not masticated.)
You’re unabated!If you get bored
Find some humans to slay –
At the end of your sword
Is the end of their days!
Cause we’re the Horde,
Yeah – For the Horde!Now I know Varian, and I’m damn sure he isn’t any more jazzed about this peace conference idea than I am.
LIADRIN: I’ll bet you anything he’s only here at all because Jaina talked him into it.
MOKVAR: Oh, yeah. Talked.
GARROSH: Fuck that shit, Mokvar. That would require the asshole to be able to—
FARANELL: I’m begging you not to finish that sentence.
DONTRAG: So what are we going to do, great and mighty Warchief?
UTVOCH: Are we skipping the peace summit?
GARROSH: Oh no, we’re going to the summit. See, Rhonin’s right about one thing – having our war with the Alliance drag on and on IS a waste. For US, anyway. The sooner it ends – with the Horde victorious – the sooner we can stop losing the lives of so many of our brave soldiers.
GARONA: So what are you planning?
GARROSH: We’ll go to Rhonin’s little conference – and I’m going to challenge Varian to a full-on confrontation. One last glorious battle, to decide the fate of Kalimdor at least, and maybe the entire world, once and for all. With victory for the Horde!
DONTRAG: For the Horde!
UTVOCH: For the Horde!
DONTRAG:
When you’re the Horde
You say “Lok’tar ogar!”
Hey, I’m singing a chord!
I can’t carry it far…UTVOCH:
When you’re the Horde
All’s achievable now!
All the wins that we’ve scored,
Inconceivable—OW!!ALL:
The Horde’s on the move,
Our hearts full of defiance!
We’ve nothing to prove
Once we slay the Alliance,
Down to a science!Here comes the Horde
And here’s where we begin
Charging headlong to war
And you know that we’ll win.Here comes the Horde
And the world’s gonna quake,
First we wiped out Southshore,
Then the Barrens we’ll take.We’re drawin’ the line,
And if they don’t like hurtin’,
They’ll stay on their side,
And if they don’t, it’s certain
For them it’s curtains!Here comes the Horde!
When we reach Dalaran
We won’t sign no accord—UTVOCH:
Isn’t this Karazhan?
GARROSH: <glaring>
Dontrag, I told
You
Once:
WORD
BAN.All exit, and the lights fade. After a few seconds, the lights gradually come up again, revealing a large room in the Violet Citadel of Dalaran. Rhonin paces around the middle of the room.
From stage right, Garrosh enters, followed by Mokvar, Liadrin, Faranell, Garona, Dontrag, and Utvoch.
From stage left, the Alliance contingent enters: Varian Wrynn, Jaina Proudmoore, Tyrande Whisperwind, Prophet Velen, Falstad Wildhammer, Shandris Feathermoon, Master Mathias Shaw, and Deliana.
As both groups enter, Rhonin mills about greeting them. No voices are audible, but it’s clear from the participants’ body language that they’re talking. Occasionally Garrosh is seen smacking Dontrag and/or Utvoch in the head.
From opposite sides of the room, Mokvar and Deliana notice each other, then begin to walk toward each other slowly at center stage. They meet in the middle of the room, just as, in the background, Rhonin waves Garrosh and Varian toward each other.
DELIANA: Mokvar…?
MOKVAR: I didn’t think I’d ever see you again, Liana…
In the background, Garrosh and Varian can be seen talking, growing increasingly animated, while Rhonin appears to try to calm them both down.
DELIANA: I…I was worried about you.
MOKVAR: <nods> I’d heard you were in Ironforge. I’m glad they didn’t get to you.
DELIANA: When the spectral assassins started coming for the others, I recruited help to try to appease Valthalak. I’d hoped they could do it before the assassins came for you, too.
MOKVAR: I did the same. Mostly to protect my own neck, but still.
DELIANA: <chuckles> Not for me? And here I thought I was something special.
MOKVAR: <laughs> Now you sound like my wife.
In the background, Garrosh and Varian storm angrily away from each other, then pause, turn, charge at each other, and start fighting as most of the rest of their respective groups collapse in closer.
DELIANA: Mokvar, something’s wrong.
MOKVAR: <glances over his shoulder at the fight> What was your first hint?
DELIANA: No, I mean…in Ironforge. A few days ago…I saw Theldren.
MOKVAR: What?
In the background, Rhonin jumps in close to Garrosh and Varian, then unleashes a burst of arcane energy that knocks them away from each other.
RHONIN: <muted by distance but audible> We have all lost a great deal in these conflicts – but we stand to lose everything if we do not stop fighting!
Mokvar and Deliana look back to each other; behind them, the two factions mill about on opposite sides of the room, watching each other guardedly.
MOKVAR: Wait…you saw Theldren? Alive?
DELIANA: <nods> He came to see Moira Thaurissan. I don’t know what about.
MOKVAR: I can’t believe he’s still alive…
DELIANA: It worries me. If he came out of hiding…or if he’s decided Blackrock Depths isn’t safe enough anymore as a hiding place…
At the right side of the stage, Dontrag and Utvoch begin to look curiously at Mokvar, pointing at him and gesturing to each other as they appear to talk. (Which they do. Endlessly. Because they’re Dontrag and Utvoch.)
MOKVAR: Liana…I’ve seen something, too.
Mokvar waves her closer; Deliana leans in nearer to him.
DELIANA: What? What’s wrong?
MOKVAR: It’s…him. He’s back. And he’s in Orgrimmar.
DELIANA: Who…? Not Valthalak?
MOKVAR: <shaking head> No, no, not Valthalak, but—
DELIANA: <eyes going wide> Oh…ohh…oh no, no…
To the side, Dontrag and Utvoch are joined by Garrosh.
UTVOCH: <aside> Warchief? What’s going on with Mokvar?
DONTRAG: <aside> He seems to be on pretty…um…good terms with that human.
GARROSH: <aside> Yeah…he does, doesn’t he…
Deliana looks around nervously.
DELIANA: Mokvar, why would he be in Orgrimmar? What is he doing there?
MOKVAR: Bending the Warchief’s ear, mostly…
DELIANA: He…? Oh no…Mokvar…
GARROSH: <aside> Seriously, wasn’t it enough that Thrall had that incomprehensible thing for Jaina? Is this going to be some new thing?
DONTRAG: <aside> Well, begging your pardon, most highly annoyable and punch-titious sir, she…well, she does have nice legs for a human.
UTVOCH: <aside> Eh, doesn’t really do much for me.
DONTRAG: <aside> No, because she doesn’t have hooves, Ut.
DELIANA: Mokvar, what are we going to do?
MOKVAR: I don’t know. He’s managed to get himself into Garrosh’s inner circle somehow. He’s practically become Garrosh’s inner circle. I don’t know if he’s even touchable at this point.
Garona joins Garrosh, Dontrag, and Utvoch.
GARONA: <aside> What are we all looking at?
DONTRAG: <aside> Mokvar putting the moves on some human, we think.
GARONA: <aside> Ugh, really? Why do you orc men always seem to go after everything but orc women?
GARROSH: <aside> You mean based on the example of an orc woman we have on hand?
DELIANA: Mokvar…I’ll try to see if I can learn anything.
MOKVAR: How?
DELIANA: Bodley. I think I may still be able to reach his ghost…
MOKVAR: I’ll see if I can dig up anything on my end. When should we meet again?
DELIANA: Tomorrow? You know where…
MOKVAR: <nods> Be careful.
DELIANA: You too.
Mokvar and Deliana walk cautiously back to their respective sides of the room. The Alliance contingent begins to leave, while Mokvar appears to talk distractedly with Liadrin and Faranell.
GARROSH: I don’t like the looks of this fraternizing with the enemy at all…
MOKVAR: <aside> I’ll talk to you later, Edwin. I think I need a little air.
The lights dim on all but Mokvar as he walks away from the others and leaves. He steps offstage for a moment, then reenters; a spotlight follows him around the stage as he wanders through Dalaran.
{LIANA}
MOKVAR:
A name I never thought I’d hear again…
(Liana, Liana, Liana, Liana)
Since we fled long ago from the heart of a dragon’s den…
(Liana, Liana, Liana, Liana)
Liana!
I saw her again: Deliana.
But now we are aghast:
A shadow of the past
Is here.Liana!
Stay safe, my old friend Deliana.
We may have just delayed
The bane of the Veiled Blade,
I fear.Liana!
Go and seek out the ghost of Bodley,
While I question my contacts broadly.
Liana,
This all played out oddly.
Liana, Liana, Liana, Liana, Liana,
Liana, Liana, Liana, Liana, Liana.
All our efforts we’d best redouble:
We might be in a whole lot of trouble.
Liana,
WTB pally bubble…
Liana.A name I never thought I’d hear again…
Liana.Blackout. At Valiance Keep, Varian and the other Alliance members enter.
JAINA: Are you really going to go through with this?
VARIAN: Did I look like I was joking when I agreed to it, Jaina?
JAINA: But one fight to determine the future of a whole continent?
SHANDRIS: It does sound like quite the gamble, Highness.
VARIAN: You sound like you don’t have faith in my chances against Garrosh, Shandris.
SHANDRIS: Hellscream does not have the best track record with regard to honorable combat, Highness.
VARIAN: Hence why I insisted we hold the duel in a setting where we can keep a close eye on him.
FALSTAD: He’ll be tryin’ somethin’ fer sure, Yer Highness, just ye watch.
VARIAN: At least in our own territory, we won’t have to worry as much about the place swarming with orcs.
VELEN: Hang on – swarming with orcs? That sounds like something the Legion would do! The Legion isn’t back, is it?
VARIAN: <rubbing forehead> No, Velen, the Legion isn’t back.
VELEN: You’d tell me, right? I need time to pack.
VARIAN: Believe me, the last thing I would ever do is get in the way of you packing.
JAINA: Speaking of which, if you do lose, do you really plan for us to…go through with it?
VARIAN: I made an agreement, Jaina: one battle, leader against leader, for control of Kalimdor, once and for all. I intend to honor it.
TYRANDE: I don’t much like this business of you gambling with the lands my people have called home for millennia.
VARIAN: Oh, hush, Tyrande.
TYRANDE: …
SHANDRIS: Oh no he didn’t.
TYRANDE: You are not nearly hot enough to get away with talking to me like that!
VARIAN: The point is, I don’t intend to lose. And then you’ll be happy I took up the challenge, when the forests of Ashenvale are no longer crawling with orcs.
VELEN: Crawling with orcs! That’s it, not taking any chances – I’m out! Good luck, people.
Velen exits.
VARIAN: <sighs> Well, they don’t call him Bailin’ Velen for nothing, I suppose.
TYRANDE: Wanting the orcs out is all well and good, but taking such an all-or-nothing risk…
SHAW: Really, I don’t see what you’re so worried about. I mean…it’s just Kalimdor.
TYRANDE: Umm…what?
VARIAN: Seriously.
SHANDRIS: You…can’t be serious.
JAINA: You realize they’ve both lived there for thousands of years, right?
FALSTAD: Maybe ye could use a change o’ scenery, then.
VARIAN: I’m not disputing it would be a loss, but it’s not as if there’s a lot over there that’s irreplaceable…
TYRANDE: Are you not familiar with the World Tree?
SHAW: The one that burned with Archimonde and…hang on…nothing happened?
JAINA: I…don’t believe you three.
VARIAN: Oh, don’t worry about Jaina. She grew up in Kul Tiras and Dalaran but then she decided to go move into her own place and forget her old home.
JAINA: Not true! I remember it well.
{KALIMDOR}
JAINA:
Eastern Kingdoms:
A lovely visit.
I wouldn’t ever want to live it.
Greatest city there you found
Pulled itself out of the ground –
Dalaran’d rather float around!
Half the mountains burning.
Undead plague is churning.
I’ll take kingdom Theramore
(Well, till it ain’t there no more).JAINA, TYRANDE, and SHANDRIS:
I like to be here in Kalimdor.
So much to see here in Kalimdor.
Make the orcs flee out of Kalimdor!VARIAN:
Horde burning trees there in Kalimdor.
JAINA:
Winterspring sledding is so fun!
SHAW:
Look for a flight path – there ain’t none!
SHANDRIS:
Vast tranquil plains under blue sky.
VARIAN:
Barrens chat: listen once, you’ll cry.
JAINA:
Earn gold in Ratchet in Kalimdor.
FALSTAD:
Goblins will snatch it in Kalimdor!
TYRANDE:
Draenei chose to land in Kalimdor.
In the background, the Exodar flies by.
VARIAN: <pointing a thumb at the ship>
Velen just abandoned Kalimdor.
TYRANDE:
Historic places in Felwood.
VARIAN:
Illidan screwed that up real good.
JAINA:
Caverns of Time sifting sand, ha!
SHAW:
One slip and you’re your own grandma.
SHANDRIS:
Ysera greets you in Kalimdor!
FALSTAD:
Devilsaurs eat you in Kalimdor!
TYRANDE:
Night elves defiant in Kalimdor.
VARIAN:
Roaches are giant in Kalimdor.
JAINA:
Out to the forests – a fun romp!
SHAW:
Forests? You’re stuck in a damn swamp!
TYRANDE:
Titan creations in Uldum.
FALSTAD:
Those almost made the world go boom.
VARIAN:
So much frustration in Kalimdor.
Steak rules a nation in Kalimdor.
All your flirtation in Kalimdor!JAINA: <glares and draws a dagger>
You risk castration in Kalimdor.
VARIAN:
You should come back to Kul Tiras.
SHANDRIS:
Not on the map – do they fear us?
VARIAN:
Garrosh will strike if you don’t fly.
JAINA:
Yeah, sure, I’d like to see him try.
Blackout. The stage is illuminated again, gradually, by fiery light, revealing the interior of Blackrock Mountain. Mokvar enters, stage left, and walks amid the rubble and stone, looking around cautiously.
The stage lights become brighter as Mokvar nears center stage, illuminating, above, the balcony leading to Blackrock Spire. From the entrance to the spire, Deliana enters, looking down.
DELIANA: Mokvar!
MOKVAR: <looking up> Liana! Are you all right up there?
DELIANA: Other than a few bruises from the fifteen times I tried to hop over to this blasted balcony and missed? Peachy.
MOKVAR: Yeah, I’m not taking my chances. Knowing my luck I’m liable to fall in the lava.
DELIANA: Does anyone know you’re here?
MOKVAR: No. You can tell that by the fact that I am here, and not dead.
DELIANA: <nods> I had to sneak out as well… I suspect Varian would be none too pleased if he knew I was meeting you.
MOKVAR: I’m pretty sure “none too pleased” would be the best case scenario with Garrosh.
DELIANA: Have you found out anything?
MOKVAR: Nothing very much. I’ve had to be fairly careful with my asking around, so I haven’t been able to dig as much as I’d like. I know Malkorok turned up in Orgrimmar some months ago, and rose through the ranks quickly. But nobody seems to know where he came from. Well, other than the obvious.
DELIANA: <nods> I can’t understand how he won Garrosh’ trust so quickly.
MOKVAR: How did he win Rend’s?
DELIANA: And how did that work out?
MOKVAR: I know… What about you? Were you able to…?
DELIANA: Yes… <sighs>
MOKVAR: The fact that you’re stopping there tells me it’s bad news.
DELIANA: Not much to go on, but it doesn’t sound good. I was only able to make contact briefly, but…there have been spectral assassins here. Leaving the spire. For the first time in years…
MOKVAR: There’s…about half a dozen ways to account for that, and none of them are good.
DELIANA: I know.
MOKVAR: Anything else?
DELIANA: That’s it so far. <sigh> I’d really hoped this was over years ago.
MOKVAR: So did I.
DELIANA: I suppose you reap what you sow, though, don’t you…
MOKVAR: Yeah… Well, what’s done is done. Nothing to be done about it now.
DELIANA: I know. Still, I wish I could just go back in time sometimes.
MOKVAR: No, you don’t. Trust me. It’s more headaches than it’s worth.
DELIANA: What do we do now?
MOKVAR: I’ll try to call in a few more of my contacts…I’ve got a few people still who owe me favors. Check around too, if you can…
DELIANA: I will. I’ll find a way to contact you one way or another in the next day or two.
MOKVAR: Be careful. If the wrong people find out what we’re doing, they’re not going to care what it is we’re actually talking about.
DELIANA: I know. Watch out for yourself, Mokvar.
MOKVAR: Have been for years. Stay safe, Liana.
Liana nods, then waves, and disappears into the spire doorway. Mokvar watches her go, looks around uneasily, and exits, stage right.
After Mokvar leaves the stage, a low whooshing sound is heard. To the left side of the stage, near one of the large stone blocks, Garona unstealths. She peers across the stage to the right side, a look of concern on her face, then stealths again.
The curtain closes.
{TO BE CONTINUED IN ACT 2…}
Let’s do the time warp again
It was late when we arrived in Dalaran. After the bunch of us got off the Windrunner, Dranosh ordered Drok to take his crew and report to Bolvar and the Argent Vanguard to help however much he could. As the ship made its departure, we got going to the Violet Citadel.
On the way, we passed through the center of the city. It was an eerie sight for me. In the middle of town, on the spot where there should have been the monument to the defeat of the Lich King, there’s a memorial honoring Tirion and the heroes who were lost with him in Icecrown Citadel. Liadrin stopped for a minute and offered a prayer for the fallen. Jaina. Dontrag and Utvoch. Saurfang.
A gnome was making his way around the city lighting all the lampposts when we arrived at the Violet Citadel. Rhonin was waiting for our arrival and was pacing around in the main hall like a restless animal. Liadrin started to break the news to him about Jaina, but Rhonin cut her off. I think he already knew, as soon as he saw us walk in without her.
He took us upstairs, where he summoned a portal for us to the Caverns of Time.
People get so used to taking mage portals that before long they forget how disorienting they are at first. You’re in one place, then there’s a flash of light, and for half a second you’re nowhere. You feel this dizzying whoosh run through your whole body and you feel like you’re falling, and then all of a sudden you’re somewhere different. New sights, new sounds, new everything. After you’ve done it a few times, you learn to roll with it and regain your sense of direction quickly, but every so often, when you first arrive in a new place, something happens to throw you out of your routine and reminds you just how unsettling it can be.
The ground shook violently under our feet as we arrived at the Caverns of Time. Not even just the ground – the walls, the ceiling, somehow even the air seemed to shudder around us. Bronze dragons were racing around, and bunches of drakonids ran up the ramp toward the surface. Anachronos was rumbling around, barking orders, rallying the cavern’s defenders. I don’t think I’d ever seen him so animated. After a minute, he spread his enormous wings and flew up the winding passageway with a handful of bronze drakes close behind.
In the middle of the chaos, Chromie teleported in right on top of us, talking a million miles an hour, and finally ushered us back to Soridormi, near the Hillsbrad portal, before teleporting away again.
SORIDORMI: Thank the Titans you’ve made it. We don’t have much time.
GARROSH: Do I even want to ask?
SORIDORMI: The Legion must have pieced together what we might try to do, as I’d feared. They started their attack some hours ago. We’ve been holding them back, but the battle has been a costly one.
The entire cavern quakes as shouts echo from the surface passageway.
DRANOSH: Well, we brought you a present.
Dranosh steps back and gestures to Faranell, who is holding the Focusing Iris.
FARANELL: <handing the Iris to Soridormi> Will you be able to do it?
SORIDORMI: <nods> It will take me a few minutes to open the portal and stabilize it, but I can get you back to Southshore, yes.
DRANOSH: Wait, Southshore? What’s in Southshore?
LIADRIN: A very long story…
GARROSH: Well now for the 50,000 gold question – what do we do when we’re back there?
MOKVAR: Please don’t tell me we have to go in and kidnap old-Edwin and switch him with young-Edwin but also do something with original-young-Edwin while we’re at it to make sure old-us don’t still grab original-young-Edwin by mistake, because, I mean, not enough aspirin in the world.
LIADRIN: Not to mention we would have to do something about the chameleon shard attunement in that case, if this Edwin doesn’t end up tending to it…
DRANOSH: Is there a reason why everyone but me seems to know what’s going on wherever it is we’re going?
LIADRIN: Honestly? Because everyone but you was there the first time.
GARROSH: We were all there before, Dranosh – the four of us, in old Southshore, about ten years ago. That’s how all of this started. That’s why the Legion and the Scourge are winning now.
LIADRIN: None of this was ever supposed to happen. It’s only happened this way because events in the past were altered, and have snowballed into what’s happening now.
DRANOSH: <blinking> Okay, I think I need a second here…
GARROSH: While you’re doing that… Sori? What’s the plan here?
SORIDORMI: I can get you to Hillsbrad the morning of the last day you were there. That’s when the disruption began. And ultimately, this rests on Edwin.
FARANELL: Oh great…
SORIDORMI: You’re right, Mokvar; trying to switch off versions of Edwin would be far too complicated and leave too much room for something else to go wrong…
The cavern shudders again, more violently.
GARROSH: Okay, this is sounding like we’re going for the simple approach. I’m a big fan of the simple approach.
SORIDORMI: Ordinarily, the one thing one must never do when traveling in time is to interact with oneself. In this case, though, that’s exactly what Edwin will need to do: force a crossing of timelines between both – or rather, all – versions of himself present in that time. If Edwin can make physical contact with both iterations of himself at once, it should short out the crossed lines and snap each version back to where he’s supposed to be.
LIADRIN: That last morning – that was when future-Edwin broke past-Edwin out of Mokvar’s hex.
MOKVAR: There’s our window. They’ll both be within a few feet of each other.
SORIDORMI: If he can do it, the shorting out should trigger both realities into resetting themselves and separating.
GARROSH: You get all that, Doc? Today’s your turn to save the world…
The ground shakes once again, and the cavern walls around the surface passage buckle. A handful of bronze dragons rush down into the cavern, with a swarm of demons close behind. Behind the initial wave of demon shock troops, Varimathras and Prince Malchezaar descend into the cavern.
CHROMIE: <calling out while circling around the cavern in dragon form> They’ve breached the cavern! Fall back and regroup! We have to hold them!
LIADRIN: Soridormi, do you need all of us to go back?
SORIDORMI: Edwin is the only one who has to go.
DRANOSH: <to Liadrin> I think that’s our cue for one last battle of the line.
Liadrin nods, draws the Ashbringer, and runs into a pack of terrorfiends, tearing through then with one spinning swipe of the blade.
<to Garrosh> This was your mission from the get-go, Overlord. Go see it through, and I’ll talk to you when it’s over.
Dranosh starts to turn to join the battle.
GARROSH: Dranosh!
Dranosh looks back. Garrosh looks at him in silence for a moment.
…Give them hell.
DRANOSH: <smirks> I don’t really think they’re running short. <starts running toward the demons> Now go be a hero – that’s an order!
Dranosh leaps into a group of felguards and bursts into a Bladestorm.
GARROSH: You’re the boss. Lok’tar, Warchief…
FARANELL: Soridormi… I’ll try my best at this, but even if it works…
Soridormi nods to Faranell and starts to channel a spell through the Focusing Iris into the time portal.
Well…Garrosh said that…the other me may have thrown off the timeline without even meaning to, just because of what he knew. But now me…I’ve seen so much, how do we know I won’t disrupt history all over again?
Soridormi reaches into a belt pouch and tosses a small tuber to Faranell.
SORIDORMI: This is a Nepenthe Root. Is grows only here in the Caverns of Time. Eat it once you’re through the time portal; it will take an hour or two to take effect. The root is a powerful purifier on the mind – its effects will ripple through your entire timeline, purging any memories out of synch with their natural timeframe.
GARROSH: It’s not going to oops-mindwipe him completely, is it?
SORIDORMI: No…the worst side effect he might experience would manifest itself as sporadic and random lapses of memory.
The demons continued flooding into the cavern while Dranosh, Liadrin, and the dragons fought to hold them at bay. A group of doomguards managed to get all the way back to the Hillsbrad portal with us. Mokvar, Edwin, and I managed to fight them off while Soridormi continued channeling her spell. Once they were dead, Mokvar pushed his notes into my hands and said to take care of Edwin while he helped the rest with the demons, and ran off into the fight.
I looked past Mokvar as he ran into the fray and saw Dranosh going toe-to-toe with Varimathras, then leaping up and sending a Mortal Strike tearing straight into the dreadlord’s throat. One more swing and he had Varimathras’ head off altogether. He caught it, spun around, and sent it flying at Malchezaar — pointed so that the dreadlord’s horns pierced straight through Malchezaar’s eyes.
The portal glowed brighter as Soridormi poured more magic into it. Then the ground shuddered again, and large chunks of the stone around the surface passage broke away. With a demonic laugh announcing his arrival, Kil’jaeden, Lord of the Burning Legion, stepped down into the Caverns of Time and started walking directly toward us.
Liadrin tore through at least twenty demons with one of her Divine Storms, and ran between Kil’jaeden and us. The demon lord extended his hand toward her, palm extended, and released a torrent of shadow magic. Liadrin held the Ashbringer over her head and projected a shimmering shield of holy magic around herself. The two stood there, facing each other down – Kil’jaeden kept pouring more power into his shadow torrent, Liadrin kept drawing on the Light and the power of the Ashbringer to hold it back. As she exerted herself more and more, a gleaming white light shone out of the Ashbringer and around her whole body – and after a moment, just as Soridormi called out to us that the time portal was ready, the glowing, pulsing light surrounding Liadrin sharpened into the shape of a naaru.
Liadrin looked back at us. Her eyes were white and glowing. For all the fighting and screaming and magic eruptions, I should never have been able to make out an individual voice, but just for a moment I could hear hers – in my head. It was accompanied by a musical chiming, and echoed by a second voice, one I’d heard but not quite heard once before…the voice of A’dal.
We can’t hold him forever. GO!
I grabbed Edwin’s arm and pulled him through the portal as the ground shook and the walls quaked. The Caverns of Time disappeared in a dizzying rush of light, and the sounds of battle ringing in my ears faded into a memory of the future as I felt myself sliding back into the past.
I’ll see you on the other side.
Wrath of the Lich King
Show time.
The group assembled today on the Windrunner: me, both Saurfangs, Liadrin, Edwin, Jaina, Mokvar, Dontrag, and Utvoch. I figured the way the Scourge have swarmed through practically all of Northrend, I’d just as soon not leave anything to chance, which is why we brought so much heavy-artillery personnel. Drok and his crew had the ship ready to go, and we set off for the Nexus in Coldarra. Once we had the Focusing Iris, we’d head straight for Dalaran, where Jaina’s Kirin Tor friends would be ready to port us straight to the Caverns of Time.
We arrived at the Nexus and docked the ship on one of the upper ring platforms that was equipped with a teleportation orb. One problem: the platform was swarming with Scourge – all the platforms were. Vargul and skeletons mostly, with a couple necromancer types lurking around the back.
I’ll tell you, Mokvar was right the other day. This really wasn’t fair.
Between me whirlwinding through skeletons by the bushel, Liadrin Diving Storming her way right through the heart of them, Jaina flame-roasting undead in bunches, and – yup – Saurfangs Young and Old cleaving down everything in sight, it didn’t take us long to clear a path to the teleportation orb. The only down side was that those necromancers kept summoning more undead, and every so often a proto-drake would fly by and drop another damn vrykul to help keep the influx coming.
GARROSH: They’re not getting anywhere, but neither are we if we just stay up here all day killing these fuckers…
The necromancers cast another summoning spell, and some hundred new skeletons appear on the platform.
LIADRIN: <slashing by one of the vargul> We don’t all need to be up here – you go, I’ll stay and protect the ship.
GARROSH: You sure? There’s still an awful lot of them.
Liadrin rushes into a cluster of vargul, dropping them all with another spinning Divine Storm. As she finishes her follow-through, she lands on one knee, slamming the Ashbringer down onto the platform floor; a shimmering flash of yellow-white light bursts from the Ashbringer and shoots out in a horizontal shockwave in all directions. The light rips through the skeletons and sends them spilling onto the floor, burning with holy fire. Still on one knee, Liadrin tilts her head up at Garrosh.
LIADRIN: I’m not worried.
Jaina runs to a clear area near the gunship and starts channeling a spell. A glowing blue runic circle begins to appear on the floor beneath her.
JAINA: ’m placing a portal marker here. Once we have the Focusing Iris, I’ll be able to teleport us directly back.
Several more vargul drop onto the platform. While Liadrin engages them, several val’kyr and gargoyles descend down over the Windrunner.
SAURFANG: <rushing back to the gunship and cleaving through gargoyles> I’ll stay back as well to help guard the ship.
MOKVAR: Well now you’re just running up the score on them.
SAURFANG: The rest of you – go!
DRANOSH: You all heard the man. Let’s get moving.
We took the teleportation orb into the Nexus. The sight that greeted us froze us all in our tracks. Around the circular room and down every hall, the ground was littered with the lifeless bodies of blue dragons. We all just stared for a minute while the sight sunk in. I think it hit Jaina the hardest, what with her probably having had some dealings with the blues over the years. She knelt down over one of the dead dragons and put a hand over its face.
JAINA: This… I know her. This is… Her name is…was Kirygosa. She was a daughter of Malygos…
UTVOCH: Wait, when you said there were going to be a lot of dragons here, I thought you meant they were going to be alive.
GARROSH: …Seriously?
FARANELL: That’s got to be an act, right? I mean he can’t possibly really be that stupid.
MOKVAR: Dontrag and Utvoch: raising the bar on lowering the bar, since the dawn of time.
DONTRAG: Hey, I didn’t say anything!
GARROSH: Yet.
DRANOSH: <surveying the halls> Most of the… <glances back at Jaina, then lowers his voice slightly> …most of the blood seems fresh. Whoever did this did it fairly recently.
GARROSH: Probably still nearby.
Jaina stands slowly, still looking down at the bodies.
JAINA: Kalecgos considered her one of his dearest friends…
DRANOSH: The next time you see him, you can tell him all about the world of pain we brought down on the ones who did this to her.
GARROSH: It has to be the Scourge, based on upstairs. Not sure why they’d be coming after the blue dragons, though.
JAINA: At this point, they’re one of the only major powers left between them and all of Northrend… It was only a matter of time before they struck here.
GARROSH: That’s the thing, though – yeah, they have the Horde and Alliance on the ropes, but why wouldn’t they finish them off first, THEN take on the dragons? The Lich King has to know he’s got the upper hand. Why divide his efforts?
DRANOSH: Maybe he wants to finish both off quickly?
GARROSH: All the time we were up here fighting him, did you ever know Arthas to be impatient?
JAINA: He’s not. Anymore.
DRANOSH: <shrugs> Either way. I am the impatient type – let’s go find that Focusing Iris and let it be finished.
We made our way deeper into the Nexus, finding more slain dragons all the way. As we worked our way down a long, descending passageway, we could hear sounds of combat, and reptilian cries of pain. I ordered Dontrag and Utvoch to make sure they kept Edwin safe under pain of so-much-worse-than-death-your-admittedly-limited-brains-would-melt-just-trying-to-imagine-it. The bottom of the passage was dark and filled with shadows. As the floor leveled out from the end of our descent, we turned a corner and came to a doorway.
The room was large and circular, with crystalline patterns in the walls and floor, like so many of the other rooms here. In the center of the room, hovering in the air of its own accord, was the Focusing Iris – an enormous blue orb, glowing with arcane power. On the far side of the room, four humanoids – a human, a tauren, and a pair of dwarves – all wearing armor like that of a death knight, stood over bodies of blue dragons. More bodies filled the room, and the air reeked with the smell of draconic blood. Two more death knights, a draenei and a troll, flanked the doorway on either side, and as we came around the corner they called out a warning.
And as the sentries cried out, in the center of the room, out from behind the Focusing Iris stepped Tirion Fordring. Covered in spiked black armor, wielding a runeblade, eyes glowing a deathly pale blue. I’ll tell you, I was never crazy about Tirion, but this was still horrible to see. Even Tirion deserved better than this.
TIRION: <grinning broadly> Ah, how serendipitous! It appears fate has set us all upon a parallel venture, and I find myself reunited with personages of no small familiarity. I greet you all, good orcs and humans, and welcome you to the curtain’s rise on the final act of this grand endeavor!
GARROSH: By the spirits…
Tirion gestures to his minions.
DRANOSH: What?
Tirion’s Deathbringers rush at the group, blades poised.
GARROSH: He still loves to talk.
Jaina casts a Cone of Cold that slows the death knights’ approach.
DRANOSH: <shrugs> Time to do what we do. Lok’tar!
GARROSH: For the Horde!
DONTRAG and UTVOCH: For the Horde!
MOKVAR: For the Horde!
JAINA: Um, actually…
Jaina exchanges a shrug with Faranell.
Okay. Whatever.
Garrosh, Dranosh, Dontrag, and Utvoch rush forward to engage the Deathbringers, and the two groups battle back and forth, with Tirion lurking by the Focusing Iris, watching and taunting.
TIRION: Good, my glorious vassals, unleash your fury and show these intruders the fate that awaits those who would interfere with the work of our dread lord the Lich King! Woe be to any who stand against us! Their ruined bodies shall be the latest paving the way to our inevitable dominion over this world!
GARROSH: <exchanging blows with the tauren> The hell are you even HERE for, Tirion? What do you fuckers even want with the Focusing Iris?
TIRION: Well could I ask you the same, young Hellscream! But as it will profit you naught, I will tell you, so that you might meet your end knowing the full scope of your failure, and indeed the hand you and your ilk have had in bringing forth this very hour!
DRANOSH: <aside> That’s it, get him monologuing…
GARROSH: <aside> He’s going to be monologuing anyway, might as well get him going on something useful maybe…
Dranosh and Garrosh continue pushing back the tauren and human. Dontrag and Utvoch spar with the two dwarves, aided by chain lightning from Mokvar, while Jaina launches a seething fireball that incinerates the troll.
TIRION: Did you truly believe your ill-fated ploy to deny the Lich King your precious Sunwell would go unanswered? That the master of the Scourge would be halted by your sad, trifling magician’s tricks? You merely delayed the inevitable; and now, with the Focusing Iris in hand, the Lich King’s mightiest seers will shatter the meddlesome bubble conjured by that poor, doomed, suddenly so very solitary dragon Kalecgos—
Jaina lets loose another pair of fireballs, finishing the dwarven death knights fighting Dontrag and Utvoch.
JAINA: Kalcgos’ flight had no part in this war, Tirion! The old you – the real you – he would be sickened to see what you’ve done to these innocents!
TIRION: Oh, Lady Proudmoore, do not be so naïve as to think the blues innocent – or yourself. It was Kalecgos who chose to throw in his lot with your kind and aid in your foolish charade at the Sunwell, and all of you who interfered in the Scourge’s march. The Lich King was content to leave these pitiable lizards be – for now. It was you who forced his hand, you who altered his plans, you who made the Focusing Iris a necessary implement—
DRANOSH: Spirits, he likes to talk…
GARROSH: Dude, you have NO IDEA.
TIRION: —and you, all of you, who helped bring this fate upon the Blue Dragonflight today! From their blood shall flow the coming of a new age for this world! From their deaths shall be forged a new future, bathed in carnage!
JAINA: <gathering a fiery glow in her hands> You want carnage? Arthas will have more blood than he ever bargained for!
Jaina unleashes a massive fireball that tears through the draenei death knight and badly burns the tauren and human – whom Dranosh and Garrosh quickly finish off – and hurls Tirion back against the far wall.
DRANOSH: Remind me not to piss her off.
GARROSH: No shit, right?
Tirion pulls himself up and faces the group.
TIRION: You all shall pay dearly for—
DRANOSH: <charging in and knocking Tirion a few steps back> Pro tip, Tirion – when your boys are taking it on the chin, might be a good idea to stop running your mouth for a minute and help them out.
Garrosh joins in, and Tirion begins scrambling to deflect both orcs’ blows.
TIRION: You think I fear you, boy? Through the Lich King I have seen power the likes of which you cannot comprehend! By his will I have cast off death itself, and risen anew, ascended, greater than I might ever have dreamed in my former, paltry, limited existence! You do not know what you trifle with, you—
As Dranosh and Garrosh unleash a flurry of blows from both sides, Jaina singes Tirion with a surge of flame, then freezes him in place with a frost nova, throwing off his footing.
GARROSH: Tirion…
Garrosh locks one of his axes in a parry with Tirion, then drops his second axe from his free hand and swings his fist under the runeblade and into Tirion’s gut.
Shut.
Garrosh breaks the parry, forcing Tirion’s blade hand to swing to one side, where Dranosh hacks it away at the wrist.
The fuck.
Garrosh and Dranosh bring their axes down from either side, slamming viciously into the base of Tirion’s neck.
UP!
Tirion slumps lifeless to the floor.
JAINA: <looking down sadly at the body> You have been missed, old friend. May your spirit finally find its rest now.
MOKVAR: Okay, let’s get what we came for and go.
JAINA: Let me get it into a more manageable form…
Jaina holds her hands out to the Focusing Iris and begins channeling beams of arcane magic into it. Slowly, the Focusing Iris shrinks until it has been reduced to a shimmering blue sphere about a foot in diameter, hovering in the air.
There…now we just need to—
Jaina is interrupted by a shadowy, purple tendril of magic that lashes out at her from the doorway and yanks her back toward it. Her body flies backward through the air and – with a hideous slicing sound – into a blade held out from the dark hallway:
Frostmourne.
As Dranosh steps in to catch the falling Focusing Iris, the Lich King strides into the room, Jaina’s body still impaled on the runebalde.
LICH KING: Impressive…
The Lich King shakes Frostmourne, dropping Jaina’s body to the ground.
Most impressive.
UTVOCH: Okay, this isn’t so bad, there’s just one of him against all of us…
The Lich King drives Frostmourne’s blade into the floor, releasing a shockwave that knocks the group back against the far wall of the room. As they recover, the Lich King hold Frostmourne aloft and begins channeling a spell.
LICH KING: Now then…a further test…
Crackling purple energy shoots out of Frostmourne in all directions. Slowly, the dozens of dragon corpses around the room begin to rise, eyes glowing a dull blue, bodies withered and gaunt.
GARROSH: Oh…shit…
DONTRAG: You really have to keep your mouth shut, Ut.
The nearest few reanimated dragons rush at them. Garrosh, Dontrag, and Utvoch step in to intercept them and start to fight them back, with Mokvar and Faranell casting spells at them from behind.
The Lich King continues channeling. After a few seconds, Jaina’s body rises from the floor; her hair has turned white save for a single blonde streak, and her eyes shimmer with a lifeless blue glow. She looks around the room, then faces the Lich King.
JAINA: A-Arthas…?
LICH KING: I have missed you…my Queen.
Jaina grins hideously, turns, and unleashes an enormous fireball that incinerates two of the dragons on its way toward Faranell.
DONTRAG: Doc!
UTVOCH: Look out!
Dontrag lunges at Faranell while Utvoch rushes in from the opposite side. Dontrag shoves Faranell out of the fireball’s path, just before the flames reduce both him and Utvoch to smoldering heaps of ash.
DRANOSH: Edwin! Jaina was our ride out. That’s your job now – port us out of here, and fast!
FARANELL: But— I’m not that powerful a mage!
Dranosh shoves the Focusing Iris into Faranell’s hands; a bluish white glow shimmers over his body.
DRANOSH: You are now. Fire it up!
Garrosh and Mokvar – both fighting dragons – back up toward Dranosh and Faranell. Faranell closes his eyes, mutters an incantation, and teleports the group away in a blinding flash.
We reappeared up on the ring platform where we’d docked – a few yards off from Jaina’s targeting rune, but hey, I’m not going to nitpick over a clutch save from Edwin. When we appeared, we were greeted by the sight of an enormous pile of Scourge corpses that formed a hill leading up to the Windrunner. Dozens of vargul, hundreds of ghouls and skeletons, val’kyr, geists, a couple frost wyrms…and sitting on top of the pile were Liadrin and Saurfang, taking turns drinking from a waterskin.
LIADRIN: <looks up at them> What kept you?
DRANOSH: We had guests.
GARROSH: Come on, everyone get on the ship.
SAURFANG: Where are the others? Lady Proudmoore, and the…cerebrally inexpansive duo?
GARROSH: They didn’t make it.
SAURFANG: What happened?
DRANOSH: Arthas is here.
LIADRIN: By the Light… Get on board, and quickly!
GARROSH: What happened to you not being worried?
LIADRIN: I wasn’t.
DRANOSH: Fire it up, Captain! Top speed to Dalaran!
The group boards the Windrunner, which disembarks from the platform. After a moment, the ship shakes and creaks, then begins to slide slowly backwards.
DRANOSH: Um, Drok? I don’t think I said anything about reverse.
DROK: We’re still on full ahead, sir, I don’t—
GARROSH: Uh, I think you guys might want to have a look at this…
They turn to look back at the ring platform, where the Lich King now stands, channeling a dark purple band of energy from his hand that grips the gunship, and using it to slowly tug the ship back toward the Nexus.
MOKVAR: He’s— he’s death-gripping the ship! How is he death-gripping the whole ship?!
DRANOSH: Drok, this would be a good time to give the engines a little extra – we’ve got to get out of here!
DROK: I’m giving them everything she’s got, sir! I can’t change the laws of physics!
Saurfang stands at the railing, watching as the Lich King slowly drags the gunship back toward him. Saurfang looks back at Dranosh, then to Garrosh.
SAURFANG: He’s looked out for you since you were children.
Garrosh gives a quizzical look, then nods.
Look out for him now.
Saurfang turns and launches himself off the deck, toward the platform below.
FOR THE HORDE!
Saurfang barrels into the Lich King and they both crash onto the floor. With the Lich King’s death grip broken, the gunship lurches forward again and starts to pull away from the Nexus.
DRANOSH: Father! No!
Garrosh intercepts Dranosh as he rushes to the edge of the ship and pulls him back.
GARROSH: Get us OUT of here, Captain!
DRANOSH: <spinning back toward Drok, still in Garrosh’s grip> No! Turn us around, Drok, we have to—
Garrosh spins Dranosh back to face him.
GARROSH: You know what he’s doing! DON’T LET IT BE FOR NOTHING!
Dranosh stops struggling. Garrosh releases him, and as the gunship continues its escape, he walks to the railing and looks down at the platform, where the Lich King knocks Saurfang away from him.
LICH KING: Foolish old orc! You dare stand against me? Do you know how many of your kind I’ve slain?
SAURFANG: You…murdered…children. <draws his axe> You answer to Saurfang now!
Saurfang charges the Lich King furiously, cleaving and slashing with his axe. The Lich King parries with Frostmourne, and the two grapple back and forth as the platform shrinks from view.
I’m writing from the Windrunner now. We should reach Dalaran soon. I’ll update again when I can, if the news is good. If it isn’t, I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be here to keep updating.
In the meantime, we continue on our way to Dalaran.
In silence.
[Header image of the Nexus provided by regular reader and commenter ZugZug. Gunship image provided by Rioriel from Postcards From Azeroth; click here to see the souped-up Postcard version! Both images used with permission and many thanks.]
