Tag Archives: elder cloudfall
Kypari Zar
ONE: VISIONARIES
* Zhi-Zhi has made reference to the “visions” shown to him by Elder Cloudfall ever since his earliest appearances in the blog, dating back the the alternate-timeline version of Zhi-Zhi whom Garrosh met all the way back here. Elder Cloudfall, for his part, eventually elaborated that these visions — which both he and Zhi-Zhi had seen — took place in one of a number of mysterious “vision caves.”
* Zhi-Zhi and Cloudfall’s description of the vision cave bears a striking resemblance to an experience Gurtash had deep underground in Krasarang Wilds, while he was briefly separated from Garrosh and the other DPS trainees.
* I’m pretty sure I don’t need to catch anyone up on this running joke, but…just in case, here. And here. Among other places.
* While Cloudfall never spelled out the details of his vision, he described Garrosh’s role as “the one who brings the peoples of the Horde together under a common cause” and “sets in motion the events that bring about the emergence of a new Horde.”
Kypari Zar: Prologue
[While Shayari, Spazzle, and Mokvar have been busy keeping the blog active with their own activities, Garrosh has been occupied with the start of a fairly important undertaking of his own. As you might recall, when we last left the Warchief…
For long-time readers (like really, really long-time!), this is a moment you’ve been anticipating for a while, but for newer arrivals to the blog, a quick recap might be in order. (I know, I know, I try to link back to relevant posts as much as possible, but at some point I should probably stop expecting people to just go back and read years’ worth of my nonsense…)
Not long before the events of Tides of War, Garrosh traveled to the Caverns of Time and, accompanied by Mokvar, Liadrin, Faranell, and (spirits help us) Utvoch, went on a mission that took him to Southshore some ten years in the past — the same time period we players visit during the Escape from Durnholde instance. The adventure in old Southshore had several pieces of fallout (more on that in a moment!), but the most immediately relevant one was the recovery of a shard from a dark crystal that the Knights of the Silver Hand had infused with the Light — a small piece of the same light crystal from which the Ashbringer would eventually be forged.
Garrosh entrusted the recovered crystal to Lady Liadrin, who rightly deduced that it was part of the remains of a dying naaru. Liadrin persuaded Garrosh to let her return the shard to A’dal in Shattrath; the Warchief accompanied her on the trip. While there, just before leaving, Garrosh received an ominous telepathic message from A’dal: “If you go to Kypari Zar, you will die.”
Garrosh didn’t know what to make of the message, but he soon found himself far too busy to worry about it. In the days leading up to the attack on Theramore, the Warchief discovered another unexpected consequence of his journey to old Hillsbrad: Faranell had accidentally altered the past, creating an alternate timeline that Garrosh found himself being pulled into. While in the other universe, Garrosh encountered the hozen Zhi-Zhi, who addressed him as “the One” and told him — vaguely and, let’s face it, unhelpfully — that he had a “destiny.” Any chance of learning more from Zhi-Zhi was seemingly lost, though, when that timeline’s version of the hozen was killed in the fall of Orgrimmar. (“The what?!” Well see, now I am going to force you to go back and read. Here.)
That all changed after Garrosh traveled to Tian Monastery, where he encountered this timeline’s version of Zhi-Zhi — who, like his alternate-universe counterpart, also recognized Garrosh as “the One.” Zhi-Zhi and Elder Cloudfall explained that they had both seen Garrosh in visions and that he did indeed have an important destiny. They declined to elaborate further, though, until Garrosh returned to the monastery seeking counsel and Elder Cloudfall offered to take the Warchief to a place where his questions might be answered…
A string of interruptions prevented Garrosh from taking the elder up on his offer right away, though. And then he was back in Orgrimmar, and all of a sudden he was a father, and then that whole thing with Mokvar, so, you know, who has time for pandas?
Well, guess what — Garrosh has time for pandas, now that he’s made the time, dammit! And that’s where we last left him, flying across the Dread Wastes, chasing down destiny.
And so, on that note, here we go. The end begins tomorrow morning. Stay tuned.]
30 Days of Character Development #13: Zhi-Zhi
[Periodically, a post will profile one of the blog’s many supporting players. (See the first profile for more details.) Feel free to chime in with recommendations for other characters you’d like to see more about!]
Name: Zhi-Zhi
Occupation: Monk trainee, meditation student, part-time errand runner
Race: Hozen
Class: Monk
Age: 7
Group affiliations: Forest Hozen (member), Tian Monastery (student), Horde (de facto ally)
Known relatives: Zho-Zho (father); nine brothers, all named “Zhi”/“Zhi-Zhi,” with slight differences in pronunciation to distinguish them. (Zhi-Zhi was always the quiet one in the family.)
First appearance: “Lines of inquiry” (alternate reality), “I think I can remember your name” (main timeline)
Key posts and plot points:
- Garrosh’s relationship with Zhi-Zhi has been…complex. The matter of when the two first met depends, in a way, on whom you ask – mainly because their first encounter, from Garrosh’s perspective, never happened. Well, it did, originally. Only now it didn’t. Sort of. (See? Do you SEE why Garrosh is so prone to yelling “FUCKING TIME TRAVEL!”?)
- So. From Garrosh’s point of view, he first met Zhi-Zhi while temporally displaced into an alternate universe, during the Timequake story arc. In the alternate reality, Zhi-Zhi had been found washed ashore by a scouting expedition led by Legionnaire Nazgrim; when Garrosh first met Zhi-Zhi in “Lines of inquiry,” he was being brought to Grommash Hold to be questioned by that timeline’s Warchief, Dranosh Saurfang. Zhi-Zhi, however, was much more interested in Garrosh, recognizing him at first sight, then evidently correcting himself that Garrosh was “not the one.” When pressed, Zhi-Zhi indicated that he had seen Garrosh in a vision of some kind; later, in the midst of the fall of that timeline’s Orgrimmar in “This is the way the world ends,” Zhi-Zhi told Garrosh that he was “not the one – yet.” This was the last Garrosh saw of Zhi-Zhi in that reality, as the hozen was presumably killed in the invasion of the city.
- The Zhi-Zhi native to this timeline had a different first encounter with the Warchief. Garrosh encountered Zhi-Zhi while visiting Tian Monastery in “I think I can remember your name,” in which he and Zhi-Zhi immediately recognized each other: Garrosh from his experiences in the other timeline, and Zhi-Zhi from the visions which has had seen in this timeline (just as his alternate-universe counterpart did). Zhi-Zhi and Elder Cloudfall confirmed that they had both seen Garrosh in visions, and that he had a destiny of some significance, though they declined to elaborate much further. Because people who know such things about the future tend to be cryptic that way.
Since then, Zhi-Zhi’s appearances have generally coincided with those of Elder Cloudfall, though the hozen did part company with the elder for some weeks to remain at Domination Point while Garrosh was back in Orgrimmar.
- Here’s a behind-the-scenes detail that many of you already know: Zhi-Zhi’s blog characterization is a blatant, overt, completely unambiguous reference to the Babylon-5 character Zathras. Several of Zhi-Zhi’s lines of dialogue are adapted or outright copied from Zathras, and a number of details in his comic portrayal were designed to draw in some way on Zathras’ appearance. RIP Tim Choate.
In his own words:
Describe your relationship with your mother or your father. Was it good? Bad? Were you spoiled rotten, ignored? Do you still get along now, or no?
Zhi-Zhi never knew mother. She died long ago in Valley of the Four Winds, in freak garden hoe accident. Zhi-Zhi’s father say mother died before Zhi-Zhi was born. Zhi-Zhi not sure that sounds right. Something about it doesn’t seem to add up, but then, mathematics not Zhi-Zhi’s skill.
Zhi-Zhi’s father, Zho-Zho, raised Zhi-Zhi and Zhi-Zhi’s nine brothers. Also named Zhi-Zhi. Or Zhi. Depending on whether passed test of strength and proven worth to tribe. Most of us have passed trial and earned name, but Zhi and Zhi haven’t yet. Oh, neither has Zhi.
Father named all his sons Zhi. Father…not very creative. But, he distinguished between brothers by pronouncing name slightly differently for each one. Very subtle differences. Usually very hard to notice. Even for us. Often took many months for us to figure out which pronunciations were different at all. Sometimes, brothers wouldn’t know until Zho-Zho called for one of us, and wrong brother would come. Then, much of time, Zho-Zho would throw sticks at us. Once, Zho-Zho throw sticks at Zhi-Zhi eleven times in one day for getting names wrong. That was right before Zhi-Zhi left to go live at Tian Monastery. Anyway, relationship with father was fine, Zhi-Zhi supposes.
Name one scar you have, and tell us where it came from. If you don’t have any, is there a reason?
Ah, Zhi-Zhi has many scars. Many sparring sessions at monastery. Those were fine, mostly. With other students. Fine. For some reason, though, when newcomers start… um… coming new to Tian, they all want to fight Zhi-Zhi. Many weaponses. Much sharp. Luckily, monks at Tian are very knowledge for the healings, so Zhi-Zhi recover. Still, got very used to being target dummy. For some reason. Many beatings. Many scars. Afraid Zhi-Zhi cannot remember any one of them, individually. Newcomers also often hit Zhi-Zhi in head, you see. Very sad life.
Describe your happiest memory.
Ah! AH! Zhi-Zhi has very fine favorite memory! Wonderful memory. Much happiness. For however, memory has not actually happened yet, so Zhi-Zhi thinkses he perhaps should not talk about it much. Would not want to jinx. Zhi-Zhi very much lookings forward to when memory happens, though!
Who do you trust?
Zhi-Zhi trusts the One.
Can you define a turning point in your life? Multiples are acceptable.
Easy answer for Zhi-Zhi is the comings to Tian Monastery. Monks there, Elder Cloudfall leadings, they taking Zhi-Zhi in, for giving Zhi-Zhi chance to earn place for trainings. Much fightings, but no killings. Make Zhi-Zhi great grooker, without grookin’!
Real answer, howevers, a little later in comings. Zhi-Zhi successful in many fightings, and Elder Cloudfall take interest in training Zhi-Zhi. Teach Zhi-Zhi more than just grookings. Teach about the meditations, and calmings, teach Zhi-Zhi to control energy, teach Zhi-Zhi… what is word? Erm… Ah! Disciplines! Yes! Elder teach disciplines to Zhi-Zhi! Mostly. Zhi-Zhi still work on that some of times. But, Elder show Zhi-Zhi much. Teach Zhi-Zhi much. Give Zhi-Zhi knowledge. Give him focus. Give him vision. Zhi-Zhi grateful.
Is there an animal you equate to yourself?
<scratches head>
Zhi-Zhi not thinking of any animals being close for the lookings. Zhi-Zhi being hozen, not animal, silly wikket! This is strange question, Zhi-Zhi thinks.
What does your bed look like when you wake up? Are the covers off on one side of the bed, are they all curled around a pillow, sprawled everywhere? In what position do you sleep?
Zhi-Zhi not knowings what position Zhi-Zhi sleep in. Zhi-Zhi asleep at time. Also Zhi-Zhi never watched Zhi-Zhi sleep, since Zhi-Zhi not outside of Zhi-Zhi, so much difficultings for the watchings. Except for one time when Zhi-Zhi drank whole pitcher of Gaoquan’s I Know My Redeemer Liveth. Then Zhi-Zhi see self from outside. Outside self, and outside Pandaria. See Azeroth from space, Zhi-Zhi dids. Wikket know there is whole other side of Azeroth no one ever see what for not drinkings the pitcher of I Know My Redeemer Liveth? Zhi-Zhi see! On far side of world, is actually whole other… why you look funny at Zhi-Zhi? Is true! Ah well. Is what Zhi-Zhi saw after drinkings of the pitcher. Also knows what yellow smells like.
How do you react to temperature changes such as extreme heat and cold?
Zhi-Zhi not mind the cold. Come from long line of mountain climbers. Climb mountains up, up, up. Until slip on snow and fall, fall, fall. Sometimes hit head. Then the blurry times. So, do not mind cold, but not so crazy about snow. Is what Elder Cloudfall calls a conundrum.
Are you an early morning bird or a night owl?
Before Zhi-Zhi comes to monastery, Zhi-Zhi always stay up late, then sleep all afternoon. Normal way for doings in the forest. After joinings at Tian, Zhi-Zhi make needs for the early risings. Up the sun comes, so up the monks come. Very sad. Very unnatural. But, must be part of…ascetic monastic life. Thinking those were Elder Cloudfall’s smart words. Much the better to Elder Cloudfall’s angry words. Which Zhi-Zhi heard oftens when Elder catchings to Zhi-Zhi for nappings. Mostly angry words for the end to nappings, but also partly for the not meanings actually to bite the elder. Much apologizings. Still.
What does your desk/workspace look like? Are you neat or messy?
Ehh, organizations not Zhi-Zhi’s skill.
Do you have any irrational fears?
Zhi-Zhi doesn’t like standing around near tall structures. At least, ones that were built. Not trees. Zhi-Zhi likes trees. Would be hard life for Zhi-Zhi if Zhi-Zhi didn’t like trees, since Zhi-Zhi grew up in forest! Trees are good, natural tall things good, but things that were built to be tall, those make Zhi-Zhi nervous. Always feel like they might fall on Zhi-Zhi.
What would your cutie mark be?
Not sure of meanings. Question mark, maybe?
If you could time travel, where would you go?
Ah, question is not where Zhi-Zhi would go, but when! For the where, Zhi-Zhi would go where Zhi-Zhi has always gone, and always will go. All of us are havings a path. All our lives, follow the path. Sometimes we are not thinkings of our follows, but we follows it always. Even when we think not. Try to stray from path, sometimes, silly wikket. Think we veerings off it, think that we are with the outsmartings because our brains so big. No, no. Path only turn under our feet, stay with us. Path always there. Follows to us even when we think not to be followings to it. Is chicken and egg type thing, Zhi-Zhi thinkses. Maybe. Zhi-Zhi maybe not so good for the deep thinkings.
Zhi-Zhi not sure about the when for him goings. Maybe not matter. The if for your question not sensical, Zhi-Zhi thinkses. No if for time travel. We all travel in time. Just one direction. Slow. Except when we wish for slower. Then fast. Very sad. Still, we travel. It is the path. Always there. Just not seen. Like part of road, on other side of hill. Not for the seeing, but still there. Always there.
Sometimes, once in a many, maybe get to stand on hill and look to other side. But only a peek. Is fortunate, likelies.
Are you superstitious?
No, no, not super. Just regular stitious, Zhi-Zhi thinkses.
What might your ideal romantic partner be?
Wantses to fix Zhi-Zhi up? Much thanksings! Zhi-Zhi never have much luck with hozen women. Will take all the help Zhi-Zhi can get! Zhi-Zhi not picky. Just want nice, simple hozen girl who be nice to Zhi-Zhi. Not yell at Zhi-Zhi. Or hit Zhi-Zhi. Or run around behind Zhi-Zhi back with one of Zhi-Zhi’s brothers. That not happen to Zhi-Zhi before, but Zhi, hoooo, hook the dook ook, not for getting Zhi-Zhi started about Zhi. Whole dooken can of dook that was, believe Zhi-Zhi.
How do you smell? Do you wear perfume or cologne?
All rights, all rights. Zhi-Zhi gets hint. Will go to river now, take for the bathings. Much apologizings, Zhi-Zhi loses track of time sometimes. Forgets when come the Tuesdays.
Previous Profiles:
- Spazzle Fizzletrinket
- Ben-Lin Cloudstrider
- Dontrag and Utvoch
- Taktani
- Korrina
- Mylune
- Mokvar
- Ruekie
- Tirion Fordring
- Lady Liadrin
- Eitrigg
- Elder Cloudfall
[Time to mix things up! Or at least give you all the chance to chime in on who our next profile subject will be. So… vote in the poll below and chime in! The supporting character who comes out on top will feature in the next character profile Soon™…]
Beyond the wall
[And so, now that I’ve teased you all with a plot point I’ve been ham-fistedly foreshadowing literally for years… BREAK TIME! As I noted at the end of the last mailbag, I’m going to be taking a blogging break for a few weeks, partly to work on getting a jump on the next stretch of posts, and partly to steel myself for what’s always a pretty busy summer work schedule. With that in mind, here are a few notes and dates for those of you who are already chomping at the bit for more Garroshy goodness (“Dammit, Averry, you only JUST got back to blogging consistently again!”)…
The blog will return to action on Monday, July 18, with a guest mailbag from Shayari. (I know I originally said July 11, but I decided to push it back one week for work reasons.) I’ve already received a few letters for her mailbag; keep ’em coming so she has plenty to respond to!
Also, since Shay’s guest mailbag will take us toward mid-July already, and Garrosh will be pretty busy when the blog returns to action, Shayari’s post will cover us, mailbag-wise, through August. Garrosh will be back for a mailbag of his own on Monday, September 5. By all means, be getting those letters in, or at least be mulling over what kinds of lunacy you might want to send his way as the fall draws closer.
In the intervening time, I’ll still be responding to blog comments and messages, and of course I’ll still be engaged in my usual Twitter shenanigans.
As always, thanks to everyone for reading, writing, commenting, tweeting, breathing, and, y’know, just plain being you. Look at me trying to be nice. (It only burns a little.)
Have a great early summer! See you all soon.
(Metaphorically. I can’t really see you. OR CAN I?)]
Speak the devil’s name
Ugh. Okay, I can tell that THIS headache is gonna stick with me for a while. Something told me I shouldn’t have had that third pitcher of I Know My Redeemer Liveth…
So, yeah, let’s try this again.
Short version, ’cause who needs to go through all that again — we left Mokvar at the Tavern of the Mists to do his thing and get rolling on his sha research, and then Gurtash and I flew up to Tian Monastery with Zhi-Zhi to collect Elder Cloudfall and bring him back to the base, and then we got there and everything is kind of a big blur from that point, and next thing I knew it was two days later and holy shit I know I say this a lot but seriously, people, literally HEAD fucking HURTS.
So that was a thing.
Anyhow, other than the part where I’ve swallowed my weight in aspirin the last 24 hours, everything is back under control now. Cloudfall’s come back to Domination Point with us, and we’ll be getting back to some overdue business in short order. Meanwhile, since things were all hectic around here the LAST time Old Man Furball came to call, I’ve been showing him around the place and introducing him to some of the major players he hasn’t met yet. Which, come to think of it, WOULD include Mokvar, seeing as he was off doing his own thing the last time Cloudfall was around, but now he’s off doing his own (different) thing AGAIN, so so much for that. And, of course, since Mokvar isn’t on hand for a few days, that means I’ve got Gurtash picking up the slack for me…
[Okay, I said I was taking a few weeks off starting in June, but I ended up needing a little longer than I’d planned to finish up a few final posts before that. One more installment to go, then a few weeks’ blogging break. Stay tuned!]
30 Days of Character Development #12: Elder Cloudfall
[Periodically, a post will profile one of the blog’s many supporting players. (See the first profile for more details.) Feel free to chime in with recommendations for other characters you’d like to see more about!]
Name: High Elder Cloudfall
Occupation: Master of Tian Monastery, monk trainer, former farmer, former carpenter, former fisherman, former shopkeeper, former basket weaver, former brewery security guard, former fur trader, former Shado-pan habidasher, former part-time elbow masseuse, former apprentice calligrapher, former substitute dog trainer
Race: Pandaren
Class: Monk
Age: 71
Group affiliations: Tian Monastery (high elder), Shado-pan (advisor, former employee)
Known relatives: None
First appearance: “Getting around with the Shado-pan”
Key posts and plot points:
- Garrosh met Elder Cloudfall during his first visit to Tian Monastery in “Getting around with the Shado-pan.” As he explained to Garrosh in “The geometry of shadows,” he had previously seen a vision of Garrosh that provided some hints about the destiny that awaited him. Cloudfall explained that both he and the hozen Zhi-Zhi had seen these visions of Garrosh at a mystical location that he described as a “vision cave,” where glimpses of the future could be seen. (It was these visions that prompted Zhi-Zhi to refer to Garrosh as “the One” upon first seeing him — both in our main timeline, and in the alternate one that appeared in the Timequake arc.)
- When Garrosh returned to Tian in “Moments of transition,” Cloudfall indicated that, according to his visions, Garrosh is “the one” who would usher in a rebirth of sorts for the Horde and unify its peoples behind a common purpose, though he was also quick to point out that, devoid of context, the glimmers of the future contained in the visions provided an incomplete and possibly unreliable picture.
- Cloudfall also offered to take Garrosh to a place where he might be able to garner some helpful insights on the “destiny” that awaits him — Kypari Zar, a name that Garrosh had heard before the Pandaria campaign had even begun, when, while visiting Shattrath with Lady Liadrin in “Dying of the light,” Garrosh received the telepathic warning from A’dal, “If you go to Kypari Zar, you will die.”
In his own words:
Describe your relationship with your mother or your father. Was it good? Bad? Were you spoiled rotten, ignored? Do you still get along now, or no?
My father, sadly, passed while I was still a cub. A regrettable cooking mishap involving a blowfish. My relationship with my mother was an interesting one — she was always helpful and supportive, but I cannot say we were particularly close. That is not to say that there were conflicts or tensions between us. Rather, her way of showing support was granting me a wide berth to find my own way in life. As a result, I spent many years wandering from one place to another, and drifted between a great many careers before finally — gradually — settling into the monastic life. In so doing, my mother taught me perhaps the greatest of life lessons, without speaking a word.
Name one scar you have, and tell us where it came from. If you don’t have any, is there a reason?
Alas, scars are difficult to identify under a layer of fur. On a more fortuitous note, fur also does a more than passable job of obscuring most wrinkles.
How vain are you? Do you find yourself attractive?
Now now, let’s not rush to hasty conclusions about my character on the basis of that comment about the wrinkles. At least I’m not one of the elder pandaren you will see on occasion who go to the trouble of dyeing their graying fur a darker shade. It is, in fact, a fairly laborious process, or so I’m told, especially around the eyes, and it’s very easy to leave patches uncovered that can prove quite telling. (Do not think you are fooling anyone, Lord Zhu.)
What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? Color? Song? Flower?
Cinnamon rum. (They make a variety at the Drunken Hozen in Dawn’s Blossom that you simply must try. I have also heard good things about the Tigule and Foror ice cream that you have in your lands. I may have to try some one day.) Deep red. My favorite song is an old childhood favorite, Hero’s Hidden Face, about perseverance in the face of adversity. (And magic. As I child, I needed the magic to make it go down smoothly. I was not one for more contemplative themes as a cub.) Poppies of any description.
Who do you trust?
I trust all I encounter to be true to their innermost selves, so long as deceit does not prey upon them. And if I prove in error in my assessments, the fault lies not in them, but in my own misguided trust in my powers of judgment.
Are you an early morning bird or a night owl?
Both, in a way. I typically stay up quite late at night, but also rise at dawn. I compensate for the seeming lack of sleep by napping for a few hours in the late afternoon. While not conventional, I’ve found that I am most productive and energetic with two shorter periods of sleep than with one longer one.
Are there any blood relatives that you are particularly close with, besides the immediate ones? Cousins, uncles, grandfathers, aunts, etc. Are there any others that you practically consider a blood relative?
I am an only child, and while I had several aunts and uncles, they, like my parents, have all long since passed away. While I no longer have any blood relations as such, my colleagues at Tian Monastery have become like family to me, and I have come to think of my students there, many though they are, as my children of sorts.
What does your desk/workspace look like? Are you neat or messy?
One of the benefits of being the High Elder is that it affords one the option of delegating most desk work to less senior personnel.
Are you a good cook? What’s your favorite recipe?
Ah, you need not be coy, my friend. Clearly someone has told you about my famous green curry fish. No surprise, as it always proved popular on those occasions when I would prepare it as a surprise dinner for the monastery. The recipe has been in my family for three generations, and includes a few departures from the traditional green curry recipe that sets it quite apart. I’ll be only too happy to make some for you after our chat — don’t think for a moment, however, that you will bait me into giving away those secret ingredients!
What’s your preferred means of travel?
By necessity, I restrict my air travel to kite. I would very much have liked to master the art of cloud serpent riding — and, indeed, I raised a hatchling as my pet and companion when I was a much younger man — but sadly, I have never had a feel for it. Nevertheless, my efforts provided me with the companionship of Jinjo for many years. I still visit his resting place near the Shrine of Fellowship once each year on the anniversary of his hatching.
Are you superstitious?
How do we define “superstitious”? Very often, I find that “superstition” is used to refer to a belief in the possibility of something we do not know, rather than a strident adherence only to those things we have confirmed. “I do not know” is the beginning of all wisdom.
What might your ideal romantic partner be?
Oh, my friend, I am an old man now, and well past the interests in romance that fluttered through my thoughts in youth. I appreciate your admiration, but I must inform you that it isn’t going to happen.
Describe your hands. Are they small, long, calloused, smooth, stubby?
Covered with fur. And… slightly pudgy, I suppose. There are benefits to being High Elder, you see — first in line for the nightly buffet!
Previous Profiles:
- Spazzle Fizzletrinket
- Ben-Lin Cloudstrider
- Dontrag and Utvoch
- Taktani
- Korrina
- Mylune
- Mokvar
- Ruekie
- Tirion Fordring
- Lady Liadrin
- Eitrigg
Ain’t no party like a panda party
HAHAHAHAHAHA OMG yuo guys should tottlay be here for this! hahahlike Gurtahs tries to tell me i shouldnt try to post something righth now buyt I’m having such a good time and I can’t cheat you guys out of being a part of it right NO I SHOULDN’T
SO.
um… what was I going to saohoh OH now i rmemebr yeah so. SO. SO we left the Taver n in the Mists and yoiu know while we were there i was wondering if maybe i should have grabbed sometghing to drink since you know its a tavern and everything and you know my life when do i NOT need a drink haha, but OMG AM I GLAD I DIDN’T cuz iuts way better i saved roiom for when we got here. OK OK let me keep to the point though. SO. So Mokvar stayhed wherever he was going to do like Mokvar things or whatever and so me and Giurtash left to fly up to Tian Monastery to find ELder cloudfall, you remember that panda guy who was gonna help me excep for how he was always all vague and criptic not helpfcul like but whjateverf, itsd all cool HAHAHA i don’t know why i used to worry about that shit.
so like we got up here and its not lke we planned it this way but wow our timing couldnt be better cuz like they were in the middle of having this awesome party with like food and drinks and drinks and OMG did i mention they had beer? like so so much beer, i knew the pandas were all big on brwewing and shit but i had no idea they had this many blends — fucking AWESOME dude and they kep giving me samples to try uit all and at first i was like in a hurry to get Cloudfall to get his stuff together and comew with us back to the base but then i figurfed whatever as long as I’m herfe so i trjed some and then a few more and after about twenty varieties i kinda lost track but i figured i shouldnt be rude to the pandas that brewed the other oneds so whatever i finished the bunch. I mean not finished like i drank all of it and no more left for anyone else cuz that would be fucknig rude dude you know cuz like ok i mean i guess i can be kinujdc of an asshole sometimes but i’m never fucking rude okay so FUCK YOU FOR SAYING IT SHIT FACE HAHAHAHAHAA
asdfgdsafg
ewr
oops sorry i knocked the lapytop[ off the table
SO/ yea we hung ouit a while at the parthy and hads ome grub and a couple drinks okay maybe a gfwe more than that but IT’S A PARTY OKAY, okay well I had some drinks but not Gurtash since he’s a kid and stuff plus I was goona need sxomeone who could fly in a straight line if i had one too many, which I DID NOT, I DID NOT HAVE ONE TOO MANY, I HAD SIXTEEN TOO MANY THANK YOU VERY MUCH LOL. Buut dude some of the stuff they have here is pretty damn good OH HEY DID YOU THAT PANDAS MAKE THEIR OWN BEER. DID YOU KNOW THAT SHIT CAUSE I .. um. did I? I think i might have known somerthingf but it’s kinda fuzzy now. BUT OMG BEER. And some ale and plum wine and then Gaoquan had this mixed drink he said was called I Know My Redeemer Liveth. And I let Grtash have a taste if a couple but not enough to get in the way of him being like designated flyer or something, although lets face it , when he goes out with Mortimer its really morer like Mortimer’s flying HIM but pffft he doest have to know that , hes a goiod kid so let him have his fun just HOLY SHIT he needs to learn how to swing an axe. Um not at me. ok ok not at you eitrher. Who are you agaizdsf
\ [=dgdsafgsagsafgfr
sda
FUCK sorry knocked the laptop opver again. You knwo what i’m just going to strretch iutr here on the floor and tyope here and just leave the laptop here since it’s here now and this way i cany knock ity over any more cuz him down here and it’ll just stay here okay so here. HERE. oh wow the screen looks kind freaky from tghis angle i wonder if this is whaty it looks like to squirrels when they use the computer. ANd yeah yea i knoiw what you’re thinking, why would squirrels use computers, they dont need computers what with theyt have fur and a lack of opooposable thumbs. AND THE JOKES ON YOU MOTHER FUCKER cuz you know what squirrels use the comuter for? you know what they do? they send emails saying HOLY SHIT MYLUNE IS CHASING US TRYING TO HUG US AGAIN EITHER HUG US OR KILL US NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE WE CANT TAKE THE RISK HELP HELP SEND HELP HAAAAAAAAAL;P
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA she’s batshit like really.laiSUYdfghj,bdmnskhjSA:Ikq.ashjvdbhv.L
ouch
ok don’t ask me how i did that but somehow i tripped onto the keyboard even though i was already lying flat on the floor. i think one of my tusks might have cracked ths screen too. not totally Sure though cuase everything keeps swaying back and forth so its kinda hard to focus and plus it looks like there’s two of them. OH HEY BONUS LAPTOP FOR ME, WHER DID THAT COME FROM. AWESOME. HAHAHA
l;kj;;;;; ; ;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Return engagement
We just arrived back in Pandaria. Finally. Granted, we couldn’t get here without a heaping pile of stupid washing up on deck during the trip, because, you know, IT’S US, but whatever. At least we got some decent seafood out of the deal. Plus the Wonder Twins are on notice that I’ll put them on patrol IN THE OCEAN around the base if they get on my nerves too much, and when I say that, it’s not just talk. AS IF THERE SHOULD BE ANY DOUBT TO BEGIN WITH.
General Nazgrim has been holding down the fort at Domination Point while I’ve been away, and, you know, since it’s pretty hard to crash a FORT into anything, everything seems to have gone fairly well. Well, unless you count the asshattery with the genius maneuver Nazgrim and some of his people tried pulling up at the Isle of Giants, but I’ll deal with that soon enough. The less we talk about that, the better. Mainly because the less we talk about it, the less I’m reminded of the crashing stupidity of a depressing percentage of my minions, and the less I’m reminded of that, the less I’m going to feel the urge to drive an Unnecessary Ornamental Spike™ through my skull.
Hey, look, 200 gold is 200 gold. You fuckers have to stop clutching your damn pearls over this. COMMERCE, MOTHERFUCKERS.
While we were away, Elder Cloudfall — you know, the old (hence “Elder,” DUH) panda dude who’s been varying degrees of helpful with the cryptic — took off back to his monastery. (I mean, anybody who thought he was just going to sit around Domination Point all that time NOT stuffing his face on familiar panda fare, take a step forward. Then take another step forward. Then keep taking steps forward until you walk into something sharp.) (MIGHT I RECOMMEND AN UNNECESSARY ORNAMENTAL SPIKE™?)
Cloudfall’s crazy-ass monkey friend Zhi-Zhi, though, decided to stick around the base. I guess he knew Tak-Tak or something (no, not Tak — Tak-Tak, and FUCKING HELL don’t make me go through THAT annoying shitpile again), so he figured he felt well enough at home to save himself the trip back to Tian Monastery and just stayed around the base helping out with odd jobs. I mean, I guess he couldn’t be any worse than some of the OTHER jokers I have on payroll.
Actually, is HE on payroll now? Is Nazgrim actually cutting a check to that fucker? How much? What’s the going rate for monkey labor? Can we pay him in bananas or some shit? I need to know these things.
It’s going to take a few days for me to get fully updated from Nazgrim, Blood Guard Gro’tash, the rest of the command and support staff here. Plus I need to get Mokvar acclimated to the place, seeing as he’s new to Pandaria. Also Brolic, a blademaster Lantresor recommended as an addition to my personal guard. He seems like he’ll be a valuable addition, but since he’s still new, I’d just as soon not assign him right off to work with the trainees the way the last batch of blademasters — Burzum, Ishi, and Krimpatul — did when they were here. For the time being, I’m having the DPS kids join Marksman Shokia and Shademaster Kiryn when they go out on patrol. Fairly controlled situation, watchful eye of two of our better operatives down here, plus it’ll give the kids a chance to get some input from kind of a different perspective, seeing as Shokia is a hunter and Kiryn is a rogue. Neither of which is as awesome or glorious as being a warrior, granted, but, hey. More exposure is better than less exposure.
I mean, in terms of training. Not if you’re talking about, say, an ogre and a platekini. In that case, cover that shit up, dammit. People want to eat lunch sometime this week.
More soon.
Lineage
Everything’s in order for me to head back to Pandaria to check on things down there. Mokvar’s coming along this time so he can test out his theory about using his crystal thingy to control the sha. Meanwhile, I need to head over to the Isle of Giants with General Nazgrim and make sure he and his people don’t make any more of a comedy show of their whole dino-taming operation than they already have. Plus, I need to reconnect with that Elder Cloudfall guy over at Tian Monastery. We have some unfinished business to tend to that got put on the shelf for way too long.
We’re leaving in the morning. But before that happens, speaking of unfinished business, first I have a promise to keep. To tell a pretty long story.
* Long-time readers will remember the Mother’s Day arc, in which Garrosh was reunited with his long-lost mother, Lakkara, whom he brought to Demon Fall Canyon to visit Grom’s burial site. No further spoilers for those who might like to go back and reread that story, but suffice to say Lakkara was not exactly what she seemed. (And, before someone asks, yes, I know that Lords of War established that Garrosh’s mother was named Golka, but blog continuity still recognizes Lakkara as Garrosh’s mother. Just roll with it for now — there is A Plan.™ I promise it’ll all make sense eventually.)
