Tag Archives: jaina proudmoore
Spazzle Speaks: Tours of Duty
A little Earth Online interlude while Garrosh spins his yarn from Pandaria…
You have logged on.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Interesting. What kind of research, Leslie?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi baddie
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Hey mon.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] its really pretty technical
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] HI MRBADCRUMBLE
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey everyone
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] probably pretty boring if its not what you do
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: hey
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Greetings, Spazzle.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i can try to explain some of it to you if you think it would help.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh I’m sure it’s fascinating.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol prof
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I just got back from the echo isles a little while ago
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’ve got a handle on it, prof, its my job after all
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If you’d care to elaborate, of course.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Certainly no intrusion intended if you prefer not to.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] working on Jaina again?
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Tanks for checkin’ up on it for me, mon.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well yes, but i would imagine understanding the nielas vector hypothesis would be part of your job, too, and we’ve already established you don’t really have a handle on that.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Everyone needs a hobby. ^_^
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] omg i do too
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: it’s fine
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] u think your right about everything
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I had some business down there anyway
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] oh hardly.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i know my nielas vectors, though.
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: hey
[Lorthemar] has logged on.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] look, i supervise mages for a living, i would think i know about nielas vectors
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i would think you’d know about them, too.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] so see? i’m not always right.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugh whatever
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi lor
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: just had to be careful not to be seen by any kor’kron on the way
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Hey, Lor mon.
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] I STILL WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU KNOW ALL THIS STUFF PROF
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i’ve said before, i read a lot.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Greetings, all!
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] brb
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: You run into any trouble?
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] HI LOR
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good evening, Lor’themar.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: not really
[Guild][Lorthemar] And how is everyone this fine evening?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey lor’themar
[Officer][Lorthemar] Good evening.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] doing ok
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] How are you settling in on…the Isle of Thunder, is it?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] just missing my baby
[Officer][Lorthemar] Yes indeed.
[Officer][Lorthemar] Not badly at all. Setting up took some doing, but we had some good help on hand.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: there are more kor’kron in razor hill than there used to be
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] AWWW
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It’s good you were able to get your internet connection working from there.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I know our…esteemed Warchief has been having stability issues.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh? I thought you two sat next to each other while you played.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Goodness, I just reread the last thing I said, and I must say it gave me quite the chuckle. ^_^
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I think after they rebuilt the inn, they used it as an excuse to ramp up security
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] not right now
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate, I know I would be lost without my connection.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I’ve noticed you really seem to be online, like, ALL the time
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WE USUALLY DO
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’m away on business for a little while
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I don’t think I’ve logged on without you being here
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well, that’s partly because, being undead, I don’t strictly need to sleep.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh, I see
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Which frees up lots of online time.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] don’t you have work you need to do in the undercity, though?
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh give ’em enough time, they be makin’ lots more places “secure.”
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] so for right now the game is a way for us to still hang out together a little
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Yes, but I just take it with me everywhere.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Some of the warlocks worked out a way to project a likeness of my computer screen onto a writing tablet I carry around – an Eye Pad of Kilrogg, they call it.
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] IT MAKES ME GLAD I STARTED PLAYING THIS GAME
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: anyway, I got down there without much trouble
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] The name, I will admit, is inelegant. I may have marketing give it another pass.
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] EVEN IF I’M STILL KIND OF A NOOB
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: What’s da word from Trall?
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: Ji?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] its ok, sweetie, being a newbie might be a nice change of pace for you
[Guild][Lorthemar] You know, it’s a funny coincidence, I’m doing some traveling for work as well.
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] I know how dat goes, mon.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: all clear so far
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] LOR’THEMAR
[Officer][Lorthemar] Yes?
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Dis game be a way for me ta talk ta people too.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: nobody seems to have noticed anything going on down there
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh wow small world
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] -Don’t- say any more about what you’re doing.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Improbable though it would seem, I don’t think she realizes who you really are.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: which is kind of weird, considering it’s been months since they took out the kor’kron occupation
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Been tryin’ ta not talk too much fa real what wit I got a nasty sore troat dese days, mon.
[Officer][Lorthemar] Yeah, don’t remind me. I get that a lot.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well, yes, there’s that.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i hope you feel better, bobby
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: While Garrosh still be in Pandaria, Eitrigg be da one mindin’ da store in Orgrimmar
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But you’re also wasting a potential tactical advantage if you give away too much around her.
[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] has earned the achievement [Grand Central Station]!
[EdwardBear | Ji] has earned the achievement [Grand Central Station]!
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: He be no friend a da changes Malkorok been makin’ in da Kor’kron.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: yeah
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Hey, grats, mon!
[Officer][Lorthemar] How do you mean?
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I just wish things would get back to normal again
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: or more normal at least
[Guild][Lorthemar] Congratulations, all!
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: sorry, leslie was running me and puff through an instance
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] THANKS DEAR
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] …Really?
[Officer][Lorthemar] Really what?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] my pleasure sweetie =)
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: i didn’t see your tell till just now
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Dey gonna get worse before dey get better, mon.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: yeah
[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] ty leslie
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: it’s ok
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Has…nobody told you who Proudleslie is?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] yw eddie
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I haven’t…
[Officer][Lorthemar] No, who is she?
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: did you find anything out?
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] OH WOW ONE MORE BUBBLE AND I’LL LEVEL TOO
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh boy
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Proudleslie is Jaina Proudmoore.
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: I talked to thrall, yeah
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] next thing u know your going to be all grown up!
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] = )
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: had to be careful not to give away too much
[Officer][Lorthemar] …
[Officer][Lorthemar] She’s…she’s… WHY??
[Officer][Lorthemar] WHY would we let her be in the guild?
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: what did he say?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] then i can get you all geared up and ready for big people adventures!
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] Sylvanas convinced Garrosh to let her stay.
[Officer][Lorthemar] By convincing him we’re living in Upside Down Crazy Land??
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: the easiest place for you to reach the earthen ring is at the twilight citadel
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] I APPRECIATE ALL THE TIME YOU’VE BEEN SPENDING HELPING ME LEVEL
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: most of their heavy hitters are still over at the maelstrom, but they usually don’t let just anyone over there
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] No, Regent-Lord, by pointing out that keeping her close, without her knowing who -we- are, puts us in a position to ply her for information that might be of use to us.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] how’s that been working out for you, by the way?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] aww, anything for my baby
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: ok
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Hush now. It’s an ongoing project.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate, Lor’themar, please try to be careful what you say
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: so your best bet is to head down to the twilight highlands
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i kinda like getting to take care of you here after everything you do for me
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] MY PLEASURE, M’LADY
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: they’ve been working on setting up again there since the twilight’s hammer was driven out
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] <3
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: what’s that?
[Officer][Lorthemar] Ugh, fine.
[Officer][Lorthemar] This is not good for my rage.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] aww thats my lil puffy magic dragon =)
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: what’s what?
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] = )
[Officer][Lorthemar] And of course Garrosh took the anger management counselor with him to Pandaria.
[Officer][Lorthemar] To spite me, I’ll bet you anything.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] plus did i mention you look sexy as a fireman?
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: the twilight’s hammer
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] rawr 😉
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] To be fair, keeping an anger management specialist close to Garrosh is probably a wise move.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] she’s kind of got you there
[Officer][Lorthemar] *looks in guild chat*
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji] long story
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i wish i could adequately impress upon you the sheer magnitude of the fact that you’re making *me* want to vomit.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh boo prof, havent u ever been in love before
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji] last year’s bad guys
[Officer][Lorthemar] I can’t believe this woman is beating me.
[Officer][Lorthemar] Anyway…
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: oh
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] as a matter of fact.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] what happened?
[Officer][Lorthemar] Let’s talk about something else before I get too annoyed.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] the scourge.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh =(
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] at any rate, i should log for now, i have some packing to do.
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: i really don’t know if it’s going to accomplish much going to them, though
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Be seein’ ya, mon!
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] BYE PROF
[Officer][Lorthemar] Hmm, speaking of which, do you know anything about what’s going on with Faranell?
[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged off.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] sorry if i brought up bad memories prof
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: it’s worth a try
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I was going to ask you, actually.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] blah missed him
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] All I know is that he’s going to Orgrimmar at the request of your Lady Liadrin.
[Officer][Lorthemar] That’s all I know as well.
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: if anyone will have any ideas about what happened to mokvar, it would be them
[Officer][Lorthemar] Liadrin told me she was requesting Faranell from you, but was rather dodgy about details.
[Officer][Lorthemar] I’d assumed she would have told you more.
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: i hate to say it, but i think we might already know what happened to mokvar
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Not particularly, only that she had need of his alchemical skills for some of her work with the Dalaran refugees.
[Officer][Lorthemar] Don’t they have apothecaries in Orgrimmar?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] Tons over in the Valley of Spirits.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I raised that point myself. All she would say was that it’s a matter of some delicacy and she would prefer to call on someone she knows.
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: it’s possible mokvar is really gone
[Officer][Lorthemar] It’s exhausting having our supposed underlings running around on their own like this.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Preaching to the choir, Regent-Lord.
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: if he is, and i go, then he won’t be any more gone, and all i’ll have done is waste some of my own time
[Officer][Lorthemar] We need better minions.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We really do.
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: if he’s not, and i don’t go, then it might cost us something more valuable
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: the only mistake would be not to act
[Officer][Lorthemar] Hmm, guild chat is quiet.
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: believe me, I hope you find something.
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: I’m just trying not to get my hopes up
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Jaina and Kalecgos are probably talking in tells.
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: well either way, i should be back soon
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: i should get going
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: me too
[Officer][Lorthemar] I wonder what they’re talking about that’s so secret.
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: talk to you soon
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: good luck
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Probably you.
You have logged off.
Spazzle Speaks: Someone Must Have Kicked You Around Some
I just received a message from Lady Liadrin in Silvermoon. As if there wasn’t already enough going on these days, it looks like the Kirin Tor have gone crazy.
After Horde agents captured the Divine Bell from Darnassus, Liadrin says, Jaina Proudmoore determined that the operation had received aid from within the Kirin Tor. She was…none too pleased about that. As a result, she arrested Aethas Sunreaver as a traitor and began a purge of Dalaran that’s been going on for the last few days. The Sunreavers and any Horde citizens in the city are being arrested or driven out. Or worse.
Grand Magister Rommanth recruited the aid of Horde adventurers to try to get as many of their people out of Dalaran as possible. Since then, there’s been a flood of refugees coming into Silvermoon. Liadrin has been helping to coordinate the influx of refugees as they’ve arrived. While most of the arrivals from Dalaran have been Sunreavers – blood elves – there were also other Horde citizens who were driven out. Orcs, trolls, tauren, even a few Forsaken. Liadrin has been working to sort out who will be staying in Silvermoon and who needs to be brought home to Kalimdor.
That’s where we get to her reason for contacting me. To be honest, I was surprised to get a message from her at all, seeing as she’s never actually met me, but I guess she picked up my name somewhere. She says she’s working with Eitrigg to arrange to bring a zeppelin of refugees to Orgrimmar. When she arrives, she wants to meet with as many of Garrosh’s friends as possible. (She can probably use a fairly liberal definition of “friends” and not tax her schedule too much.) She didn’t say what she wants to talk about, only that it’s important. I guess we’ll see once she gets here.
Divine do-over
So I think the internet has decided it doesn’t want me playing Earth Online for the time being. Spazzle was right – this is what I get for trusting Grizzle Gearslip to set up a stable network. Remind me to stick with construction and excavation projects for him from now on.
Probably just as well. I have more important things to be focusing on right now.
First and foremost in the “more important things” file: We’re back in business on the Divine Bell front – and then some. Courtesy, believe it or not, of some clutch work from one of the blood elves. I know, right? I won’t hold it against you if you need to go back and read that again to make sure you got it right. Anyway – Fanlyr Silverthorn was able to work some Kirin Tor mojo to sneak a Horde operative into Darnassus, where the Divine Bell was being held, then teleported it out to Silvermoon. That’s right, the night elves worked so hard to get to the Bell before us, tucked it away deep in the heart of their capital city…for like fifteen minutes, before they had it swiped right out from under them. Oh man, would I love to have seen the looks on their faces when they figured out what happened.
Of course, you would think that this would come across as GOOD news to anyone on the Horde side of the fence, but spirits forbid I should ever have a conversation with Lor’themotherfucker that didn’t involve him crying and moaning and wetting his panties over something. And let me tell you, he was in fine form this time around. I could barely even figure out what the fuck he was bitching about, something about his people being put in harm’s way or some such (as if people never, EVER get put in harm’s way in the middle of, you know, A FUCKING WAR), and Jaina being pissed off about something (as if THAT’S ever a bad thing). Seriously, I don’t know what hair he’s got up his ass, but enough is enough. Calm down already. Don’t flip a bench, Lori.
Anyway, I’m having the Divine Bell transported to Pandaria pronto so we can get to work. We found another ancient mogu structure in Kun-Lai that should make for a good site to conduct the first of what should be many glorious uses of the Bell. I’m having Malkorok hand-pick some of the very best of his Kor’kron to stand guard and participate in the proceedings. I’m also having Ishi head up that way to supervise the setup of the Bell and help me with the first trial. Hopefully, after Burzum went all sha-batty on us, and Krimpatul went MIA with the rest of the…casualties…at the Temple of the Red Crane, and Ishi himself got beaten to the Divine Bell by the damn night elves, well, hopefully I’ll have a blademaster finally do my Mag’har proud and help put a win on the board for us.
Once we tap into the power of the Bell – and by extension, the power of this “sha” magic – we’ll wield a power unlike anything either side has seen in this war. And unlike the mogu, we won’t be leaving our enemies any room to rise up against us. Never again.
Spazzle Speaks: The Goblin is Always Greener on the Other Side of Guild Chat
After Garrosh put up that guild chat log yesterday, I thought it might be helpful to see things from another perspective…
You have logged on.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi baddie
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] check the appendix, then.
[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] hi mrbadcrumble
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] it should be on a right-hand page, under a map if i recall.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Hey, mon.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey everyone
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good evening, Spazzle.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey sylvanas
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ok ok fine, i know better than to argue with you about these things
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: hey, how are you feeling?
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] I DONT WANT TO IMAGINE HOW MUCH TIME YOU MUST HAVE SPENT IN LIBRARIES STUDYING THIS STUFF PROF
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Better, mon.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] should I even ask what they’re arguing about this time?
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] if only you knew.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Chen say pretty soon I be healed up enough ta be back on ma feet an outta dis monastery.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Honestly, I’m not even sure how they got started.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: that’s good
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] ah
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] seriously you must be some kind of master wizard with everything you seem to know
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Can’t happen soon enough, mon – don’ like dis sittin’ around.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] not really.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] so what are you working on? are we about to get achievement spammed as usual?
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i’m not particularly powerful as a caster; i just have a good handle on theory.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: yeah but you have to take care of yourself
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] YOU’D PROBABLY BE A GOOD TEACHER THEN
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Nothing imminent. I’m laying the groundwork for some longer-term projects at the moment.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Any news from Trall?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] maybe thats why his name is professor! =)
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] meh.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i think of it more as “professor” in the “mad scientist” sense.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: not last i heard
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] which is fitting, considering i spend most of my time in a laboratory developing biochemical agents of mass destruction.
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged on.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] haha yea right, your being sarcastic again
You whispered to [LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]: have you talked to lorthemar?
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: When ya see ’im let ’im know I be dere as soon as I can, an den we deal wit’ Garrosh.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] drat, i’ve been caught.
[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] whispered: Speak the devil’s name…
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi pwn
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Hey OmgipwneduMon!
[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] whispered: Oops, mistell.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Speak a da devil, mon.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey boss
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Greetings, dear Warchief.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] is your connection any better pwn?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I guess we’ll find out in a minute
You whispered to [LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]: k good
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged off.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: i really don’t like all this sneaking around
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Haha!
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] omg
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] now see, for instance, i can’t work -that- kind of magic.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i just deploy verbal irony; i can’t conjure it up in actual events.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ya won’ need to much longer.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i swear i didnt do that!
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged on.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Soon we’ll be makin’ our move.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] UGH
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Leslie! Do it again, mon!
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WB PWN
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i didnt do anything!
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I take it your connection is none too improved since last time, Warchief?
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] You put da connection voodoo on him, mon!
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: still using the network grizzle set up for you?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, apparently
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Also that Bob guy is rubbing me the wrong way already
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Yeah
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] On the topic of what you’ve been doing, Leslie, has work continued to be hectic?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] He’d better watch it before I end up stabbing him in the neck
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: honestly, you might as well hire a couple extra tauren to send up smoke signals for your wifi
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You were starting to say, but ended up being sidetracked by ProfHubert.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Speaking of me stabbing people, by the way, did you manage to get Lori straightened out?
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] BTW COULD I GET A GUILD INVITE FOR MY FRIEND
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] sure puff, just whisper me the name
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugh not really
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If you’re referring to leadership of the guild, I think I’ve convinced him to be reasonable and pass it back
[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] whispered: HER NAME IS LIVINGREDGIRL
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] He was quite agitated before.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You know, not for anything, but didn’t we used to ask people to APPLY to this guild once upon a time?
You whispered to [HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]: seriously?
[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] whispered: ?
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] does it really matter?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] just some office politics i’m trying to stay out of mostly
You whispered to [HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]: don’t you think that’s going to be a little confusing?
[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] whispered: Y
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I don’t particularly care about his moods
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] does anyone in this guild actually do anything other than sit around in guild chat?
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged off.
[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] i do!
You whispered to [HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]: because of how similar that is to LivinDeadGrl?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] me to! just got my set bonus last night in fact
[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] i’m level 52 now!
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] I mostly just hang out here in da capital cities, mon, an’ stir tings up in trade chat!
[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] whispered: OH I DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THAT
[Lorthemar] has logged on.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] grats eddie
[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] hi lorthemar
[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] whispered: SHOULD I GET HER TO REROLL?
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Somebody gotta be da resident smartass in dis guild, right?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi lor!
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] um, i have some bad news for you…
You whispered to [HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]: no, she already has this toon… I just hope she doesn’t get a lot of mis-tells
[Guild][Lorthemar] Greetings, all!
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey lor
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Hello, Lor’themar.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol
You whispered to [HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]: I’ll send her an invite
[Officer][Lorthemar] Hail, Spazzle. Dark Lady.
[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] whispered: TY
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] yea bobby, prof has seniority on you
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] if only you knew.
You have invited [LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] to the guild.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Lor’themar, I should probably warn you straight away…
[LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] has joined the guild.
[LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] has been promoted to the rank Recruit.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] he spends most of his time in-game making sarcastic comments to people
[Guild][Lorthemar] Welcome, LivingRedGirl!
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] welcome red!
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged on.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] there you go! welcome to the guild!
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] in point of fact, that’s not actually specific to in-game.
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Thank you all
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] wb pwn
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So as I was saying. I don’t care if Ponytail is happy about it as long as he manages to get his panties unbunched long enough to hand over guild control
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Garrosh was just on and will likely be back momentarily, so please try to humor him.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh be runnin’ outta friends fast.
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Oh and by the way
[Officer][Lorthemar] Hello, Garrosh…
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh drat. Two seconds too slow hitting return.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh and LOOK who’s here now
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: yeah, but I’m *one* of his friends
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh goodness, LivingRedGirl, you look almost just like me!
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Do you want to explain to me why I never heard a word from you about the whole Mokvar fiasco?
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Haha looks like it yes
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: um
[Officer][Lorthemar] Good evening, Warchief.
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: YES UM
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate, Leslie…
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, yeah, good evening, good morning, happy new year, whatever
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: I guess I figured you were already getting updates from people more important than me
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I know office politics can be precarious, Leslie. I’m not unfamiliar with them myself.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Are you ready to stop fucking around and put me back in place as guild leader?
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: and I was probably still hoping there would be some explanation for everything
[Officer][Lorthemar] While I still have my objections to the way you’ve been conducting yourself toward me and my people, Garrosh…
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ya ever stop ta ask yaself why, mon?
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: At this point I don’t particularly CARE about why
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] mostly just a coworker trying to drag me into his conflicts
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Or am I going to have to smack a bitch up first?
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: look, I understand why you’re doing what you’re doing
[Officer][Lorthemar] …case in point.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The bitch being you, by the way
[Officer][Lorthemar] *sigh*
[Officer][Lorthemar] In any case…I don’t want to hurt the guild over our personal squabbles.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: ugh hang on
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ah, interesting…
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] That’s refreshingly non-suicidal for you, Eyepatch
[Officer][Lorthemar] So, yes, here.
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: with the mokvar thing
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has been promoted to the rank Guild Leader.
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: it’s just hard for me to accept a friend going off the deep end, is all
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] GRATS PWN
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged off.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: ok that could have been ugly
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Is there anything particular to this conflict your coworker is trying to involve you in, Leslie?
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Dis is way too entertainin’.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: anyway, like I was saying
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or is it more along the lines of your typical…in-office sparring?
[Officer][Lorthemar] I almost feel bad for him.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] i tried to warn him about getting his network set up
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] 1 SEC SHE HAD TO AFK
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] but oh no, he sees a goblin and just figures “catch-all tech genius”
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ah, I see. No rush.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] since it appears most of my best sources of entertainment are away or disconnecting, i suppose i should go get some work done
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: look, I understand why you’re doing what you’re doing
[Guild][Lorthemar] Be well, ProfHubert!
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] later prof
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] in my absence, bob, feel free to take over as interim satirist
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Hah, tanks mon.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] just try not to stage some kind of sardonic coup while i’m away
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Haha, no promises, mon.
[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] bye prof
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged on.
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] bye prof
[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged off.
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Welcome back, mon! We missed ya!
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WB AGAIN PWN
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: and I’m helping thrall because, well, he’s thrall, and I don’t think it’s right the way the trolls are being treated
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Welcome back Omgipwnedurface
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] UGH UGH UGH
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] wish I could do something to fix it, chief
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, I know
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] but I think you may be kind of stuck with it until you get back or orgrimmar
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] In all honesty, Warchief, the fact that you’re having such connection difficulties at the moment may be a reason not to resume control of the guild just yet…
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m not sure there’s much to be gained from a guild leader who’s unable to be online to tend to the responsibilities of leadership.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: but that’s as far as I can go
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, I hate to say it, but you might have a point
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And frankly it’s getting way too annoying trying to stay on
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I can well imagine.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I won’t stab him in the back
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So yeah, let me do this
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] has been promoted to the rank Guild Leader.
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] GRATS MRBADCRUMBLE
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Hey, grats, mon!
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Does leadership always change hands so often in the guild
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whoa seriously?
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] NOT REALLY
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ya got ta listen to ya conscience, mon.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] He already has control of the web site and he’s got the best handle on all the nuts and bolts
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WELL MAYBE LATELY YEAH
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So just as well to let him mind the shop for now
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] A wise decision, of course, sir.
[Officer][Lorthemar] Congratulations, Spazzle.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I hope it’ll let ya sleep if tings go bad.
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Also because, even with the Mokvar thing, you’re the only one of these clowns I actually trust
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] thanks lor
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, so…
You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: thanks chief
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m going to empty my mail just in case, and then log off here before something else pisses me off
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Of course, sir.
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: And I get why you kept quiet
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] It’s gotten quiet
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: But let me make this clear
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] THAT USUALLY MEANS THE OFFICERS ARE TALKING
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Mokvar is dead to me
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Oh
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: And if I ever find out where he’s run off to, he’s a dead man
[Guild][Lorthemar] I know it can be a bit unnerving.
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: hey
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Anyway…later
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: hi spazzle
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: you haven’t heard anything from mokvar, have you?
[Guild][Lorthemar] I wasn’t sure what to make of it myself when I first joined the guild.
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged off.
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Are you new
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: not since he ran off
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: why?
[Guild][Lorthemar] …
[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] oh hi lorthemar
[Guild][Lorthemar] No.
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: this is bad
[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] did you join recently?
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: this is really bad
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Me
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: what?
[Guild][Lorthemar] …
[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] no, i could swear i’ve seen you before
[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] I only just joined a few minutes ago
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: you remember the recall totem I told you about? the one he left me to hold?
[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] lorthemar seems new though
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: yes
[Guild][Lorthemar] I…
[Officer][Livindeadgrl | Sylvanas] Perhaps you just have one of those faces?
[Guild][Lorthemar] I believe I need to log off and step away from the game for a bit.
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: the spirit link that a shaman makes with these totems makes them give off a green glow
[Guild][Lorthemar] It’s not good for my rage.
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: it just went out
[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] i’m sorry if i upset you, lorthemar
[Lorthemar] has logged off.
[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] oh bother
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: oh
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] back
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: that’s bad?
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: yeah
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] sorry
[Guild][Livindeadgrl | Sylvanas] Welcome back, Leslie.
[Guild][Livindeadgrl | Sylvanas] Now where were we?
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: the only reason the totem would go out like that is if mokvar were dead
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] sorry livindead, i cant right now
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: but he can just wake up again, right? like last time?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i just came back to say bye and log
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] theres stuff happening here rl and i need to go
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: no, not like ‘waiting for my ankh to kick in’ dead
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] and so does puffy
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: like for real dead
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] like right now
[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] has logged off.
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: oh dear
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] actually i need to run too
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: I need to go
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Is everything all right, Spazzle?
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: I have to check on this
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] no
You have logged off.
I hate wireless networks
Here’s another example why.
You have logged on.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] haha yea right, your being sarcastic again
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] drat, i’ve been caught.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi pwn
[Guild][Bob] Hey OmgipwneduMon!
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey boss
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Greetings, dear Warchief.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] is your connection any better pwn?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I guess we’ll find out in a minute
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol
You have been disconnected.
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You have logged on.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] UGH
[Guild][Bob] Leslie! Do it again, mon!
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WB PWN
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i didnt do anything!
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I take it your connection is none too improved since last time, Warchief?
[Guild][Bob] You put da connection voodoo on him, mon!
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: still using the network grizzle set up for you?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, apparently
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Also that Bob guy is rubbing me the wrong way already
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: Yeah
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] On the topic of what you’ve been doing, Leslie, has work continued to be hectic?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] He’d better watch it before I end up stabbing him in the neck
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: honestly, you might as well hire a couple extra tauren to send up smoke signals for your wifi
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You were starting to say, but ended up being sidetracked by ProfHubert.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Speaking of me stabbing people, by the way, did you manage to get Lori straightened out?
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] BTW COULD I GET A GUILD INVITE FOR MY FRIEND
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] sure puff, just whisper me the name
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugh not really
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If you’re referring to leadership of the guild, I think I’ve convinced him to be reasonable and pass it back
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] He was quite agitated before.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You know, not for anything, but didn’t we used to ask people to APPLY to this guild once upon a time?
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] does it really matter?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] just some office politics i’m trying to stay out of mostly
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I don’t particularly care about his moods
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] does anyone in this guild actually do anything other than sit around in guild chat?
You have been disconnected.
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You have logged on.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] there you go! welcome to the guild!
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] in point of fact, that’s not actually specific to in-game.
[Guild][LivingRedGirl] Thank you all
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] wb pwn
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So as I was saying. I don’t care if Ponytail is happy about it as long as he manages to get his panties unbunched long enough to hand over guild control
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Garrosh was just on and will likely be back momentarily, so please try to humor him.
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: Oh and by the way
[Officer][Lorthemar] Hello, Garrosh…
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh drat. Two seconds too slow hitting return.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh Oh and LOOK who’s here now
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh goodness, LivingRedGirl, you look almost just like me!
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: Do you want to explain to me why I never heard a word from you about the whole Mokvar fiasco?
[Guild][LivingRedGirl] Haha looks like it yes
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: um
[Officer][Lorthemar] Good evening, Warchief.
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: YES UM
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate, Leslie…
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, yeah, good evening, good morning, happy new year, whatever
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: I guess I figured you were already getting updates from people more important than me
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I know office politics can be precarious, Leslie. I’m not unfamiliar with them myself.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Are you ready to stop fucking around and put me back in place as guild leader?
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: and I was probably still hoping there would be some explanation for everything
[Officer][Lorthemar] While I still have my objections to the way you’ve been conducting yourself toward me and my people, Garrosh…
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: At this point I don’t particularly CARE about why
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] mostly just a coworker trying to drag me into his conflicts
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Or am I going to have to smack a bitch up first?
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: look, I understand why you’re doing what you’re doing
[Officer][Lorthemar] …case in point.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The bitch being you, by the way
[Officer][Lorthemar] *sigh*
[Officer][Lorthemar] In any case…I don’t want to hurt the guild over our personal squabbles.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ah, interesting…
[Officer][Lorthemar] So, yes, here.
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: with the mokvar thing
[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has been promoted to the rank Guild Leader.
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: it’s just hard for me to accept a friend going off the deep end, is all
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] GRATS PWN
You have been disconnected.
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You have logged on.
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] bye prof
[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged off.
[Guild][Bob] Welcome back, mon! We missed ya!
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WB AGAIN PWN
[Guild][LivingRedGirl] Welcome back Omgipwnedurface
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] UGH UGH UGH
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] wish I could do something to fix it, chief
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, I know
[Lorthemar] whispered: Now that we’ve settled the guild issue, Warchief…
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] but I think you may be kind of stuck with it until you get back or orgrimmar
[Lorthemar] whispered: Well…can we talk man to man?
You whispered to [Lorthemar]: Yeah okay
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] In all honesty, Warchief, the fact that you’re having such connection difficulties at the moment may be a reason not to resume control of the guild just yet…
[Lorthemar] whispered: Well, concerning the goings-on in Pandaria…
You whispered to [Lorthemar]: Actually, I don’t know. CAN we?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m not sure there’s much to be gained from a guild leader who’s unable to be online to tend to the responsibilities of leadership.
[Lorthemar] whispered: …
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, I hate to say it, but you might have a point
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And frankly it’s getting way too annoying trying to stay on
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I can well imagine.
[Lorthemar] whispered: Never mind.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So yeah, let me do this
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] has been promoted to the rank Guild Leader.
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] GRATS MRBADCRUMBLE
[Guild][Bob] Hey, grats, mon!
You whispered to [Lorthemar]: Whatever, Lori
[Guild][LivingRedGirl] Does leadership always change hands so often in the guild
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whoa seriously?
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] NOT REALLY
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] He already has control of the web site and he’s got the best handle on all the nuts and bolts
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WELL MAYBE LATELY YEAH
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So just as well to let him mind the shop for now
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] A wise decision, of course, sir.
[Officer][Lorthemar] Congratulations, Spazzle.
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: Also because, even with the Mokvar thing, you’re the only one of these clowns I actually trust
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] thanks lor
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, so…
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispers: thanks chief
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m going to empty my mail just in case, and then log off here before something else pisses me off
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Of course, sir.
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: And I get why you kept quiet
[Guild][LivingRedGirl] It’s gotten quiet
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: But let me make this clear
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] THAT USUALLY MEANS THE OFFICERS ARE TALKING
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: Mokvar is dead to me
[Guild][LivingRedGirl] Oh
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: And if I ever find out where he’s run off to, he’s a dead man
[Guild][Lorthemar] I know it can be a bit unnerving.
You whispered to [MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] Anyway…later
[Guild][Lorthemar] I wasn’t sure what to make of it myself when I first joined the guild.
You have logged off.
Mutiny!
Since we finished with Shan Kien a few days ago, I’ve been back at Domination Point, partly checking in on things there with Warlord Bloodhilt and General Nazgrim, and partly giving myself a break from Baine and Lor’themotherfucker. Maybe if I leave them alone with each other, they’ll have no option but to bitch and moan at each other until one of them reaches bitch-and-moan critical mass and spontaneously combusts. Not likely, I know, but it’s a little dream I have.
As part of my much-needed recuperation time, I finally managed to get Earth Online set up on my computer here. The internet here at the base is still kind of spotty – I’ve been having to pick my spots as far as when I can blog for the entire time I’ve been here – but Grizzle Gearslip tells me the connection should be stable enough now that I shouldn’t have any trouble getting some gaming in.
You have logged on.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] what about blurry vision? slurred speech?
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh hey
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well well, look who we have here!
[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] no
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] it’s probably not one of ours, then.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I hope you feel better, ji
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey people
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You sense of humor is, as always, most amusing, Doctor.
[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] anyway, does anyone have a level 30 something they’d like to team up with?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But you should be wary of making such jokes, as they may only encourage some to believe we’re actually pursuing such untoward efforts as the creation of plague.
[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] actually never mind, i should probably get going
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] see you later, ji
[EdwardBear | Ji] has logged off.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] yeah, i can’t imagine where anyone would get that idea about us.
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: has garona gotten there yet?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Huh this is weird…
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] What is, Warchief?
You have been disconnected.
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You have logged on.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] do you think he got mad and logged?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh hey, Garrosh
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] welcome back.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well, I suppose we’ll see presently, won’t we.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Ugh
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Thanks, Doc
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: did you see my tell?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Is everything all right, Garrosh?
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: Yeah
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: I just didn’t get a chance to answer
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I think so
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] what happened?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m not sure, my connection just went out on me
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well, hopefully it was an isolated hiccup and won’t continue causing you problems.
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: But no, she didn’t get here yet
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: ah ok
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, hopefully
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: Why?
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: just curious
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So anyway, as I was saying
You have been disconnected.
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You have logged on.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] thanks baddie
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You two are well, I hope.
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] PRETTY GOOD THANKS
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] re-wb
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And back again.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi pwn
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] same problem, boss?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] havent seen u in a while
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Pretty much
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Just getting knocked offline randomly
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Quite frustrating, I’m sure.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, I’ve been traveling for work, so I haven’t been able to log on until now
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: what kind of internet connection do you have there?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] yea i know how that goes
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’ve been having to travel around some for work too
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: If you’re looking for something more specific than “apparently a bad one,” you’re talking to the wrong guy
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: hmm
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So anyway
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] How interesting, Leslie. Anything specific you’re working on these days?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Did they change something in the guild management panel?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m sure the details would be fascinating.
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: at the bottom of your UI, mouse over the icon that looks like a little planet
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: that will show your network info
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Not that I’m aware of.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Why do you ask?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol your always so interested in my work
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh boy…
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: Okay, I’ve got it
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m just curious about people’s professional experiences. ^_^
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m showing a lot fewer guild management options than I used to
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So I’m wondering if they changed something
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: ok, at the very bottom of that info box there should be a string of numbers and letters
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol well theres alot going on here but alot of it i cant really talk about
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: copy that to me
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well, no. Perhaps you should peruse the guild roster a moment.
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: Hmm, okay…give me a minute…
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] here we go…
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh but those are the most interesting ones to chat about under the anonymity afforded by the internet.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well, you’ve established you work in Dalaran.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] well yes
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hang on, I’m juggling a couple things
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] if it involves magic research i could probably save you some time finding the tomes you need.
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] HOW DO YOU FIGURE
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: THX1138-NCC1701-PU36
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: oh man
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well, based on our conversation the other day, I probably know your libraries a bit better than you.
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: who set up your connection down there?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] your serious
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] my serious what?
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: Grizzle Gearslip
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: Why? How bad is it?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] no, ‘your serious’ is a question
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, guild roster
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] no, “you’re serious?” is a question.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] “your serious” is an incomplete noun phrase.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Um.
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: ugh… he’s good with mining and construction
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] …
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Just exactly
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] WHAT
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] THE FUCK
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] IS THIS?
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: but for networking he might as well be trying to put something together with one of those electronics kits from the wonderworks
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] if you don’t want my help, you can just say no.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] What is what, pray tell?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL WHAT
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] HOW exactly is it showing SYLVANAS as guild leader???
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hoo boy…
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well, there *are* in-game mechanisms for such things.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] When the current leader is offline for a prolonged period. ^_^
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You fucking OVERTHREW me?!?!
You have been disconnected.
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You have logged on.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I don’t think he would jsut rage quit
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ah, here he is.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] wb pwn
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] looks like you’re having connection trouble
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay so AS I WAS SAYING
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You OVERTHREW me??!
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: can’t say I’m surprised you’re having trouble staying on
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You could say that, yeah
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] ^_^
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: So…it’s bad.
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: let me put it this way
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And hey, hold on, she couldn’t even have DONE this without another officer, so that means either you or Mokvar, Spazzle
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: congratulations, the base hasn’t burned down yet
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] um, well…
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What’s going on with Mokvar now, anyway?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It’s funny you should ask, Warchief.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] so yeah staying on topic
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I was the one who signed off on the dethrone
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I…see
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: Fucking hell is THIS what you were talking about???
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: um, what?
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: With the “they’re going to turn against you” cryptic bullshit
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] well to be fair, boss, you’d been away for a while and there was no telling when you’d be able to get on again
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: you realize that was another version of me whose memories i don’t share, right?
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: UGH FUCKING TIME TRAVEL
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] and your connection right now isn’t exactly helping
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah yeah whatever
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: fucking time travel indeed.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You people have had your fun, now reinstall me before I get on a boat headed north
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, very well, Warchief. If you insist.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I seriously don’t know what the fuck is wrong with people, I look away for a minute and everything turns into a fucking cartoon
[Lorthemar] has logged on.
[Lorthemar] has been promoted to Guild Leader.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oops.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] YOU’RE FUCKING RIGHT OOPS
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] grats lorthemar!
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] oh this should be good.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That honestly was a legitimate mistake. Albeit a funny one.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh…wow…really?
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] CONGRATS ON THE PROMOTION LOR
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I was about to click on you to promote you when Lor’themar logged on.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i will bet you any amount of money you’re not the only person saying “wow, really?” right now.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And, well, his character name is right ahead of yours alphabetically.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] So…he bumped you down one spot on the guild list, and…
[Guild][Lorthemar] Well…thank you, guildmates!
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] are you seeing this, lor?
[Guild][Lorthemar] This is truly an unexpected honor
[Guild][Lorthemar] But one for which I shall endeavor to prove my worthiness!
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] yay lor!
[Guild][Lorthemar] I really don’t know what else to say!
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i know you’ll make a good guild leader =)
[Guild][Lorthemar] Thank you!
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] guess not
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] He probably doesn’t realize he has to turn on officer chat.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay so seriously
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh, hello, Omgipwnedurface.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah probably
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, hello
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So before you get speechifying again, Livindead just made a mistake handing you the reins
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So before you get too excited
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh yikes
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hand them back over
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Well, I suppose LivinDeadGrl DOES have more experience as an officer.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] NOT TO HER YOU FUCKING WASTE OF SPACE
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] PROMOTE -ME-
[Guild][Lorthemar] Fine, fine, let me find where the command is…
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] does anyone know if there’s a popcorn vendor anywhere in game?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well FIND IT FAST LORI
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] WHILE YOU STILL HAVE ONE EYE TO LOOK WITH
[Guild][Lorthemar] I’m working on it, calm down…
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] what are u looking for sweetie?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh fuck you, Hair-Care
[Guild][Lorthemar] Huh.
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WHAT? I’M NOT LOOKING FOR ANYTHING
[Guild][Lorthemar] You know what?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oops sorry, that was pwn
[Guild][Lorthemar] No.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Fuck YOU.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i thought it was u typing there
You have been kicked out of the guild.
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: jkhfgkjshgfkjysdgkfiuhsdfjkghskgf
You whispered to [Lorthemar]: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: I know, I know
[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] whispered: My apologies, Warchief.
[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] whispered: I’m trying to calm Lor’themar down now.
[Lorthemar] whispered: Fuck you, Garrosh
[Proudleslie | Jaina] whispered: omg what happened?
You whispered to [Lorthemar]: Oh you REALLY want to die, don’t you
[Lorthemar] is ignoring you.
You whispered to [LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]: Well now he’s ignoring me
You whispered to [LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]: So you can tell him to stop being such a tempermental baby while you’re at it
You whispered to [Proudleslie | Jaina]: Don’t even get me started
[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] whispered: Of course, sir.
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: yeah, he’s pretty upset
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered: I don’t know what we’re going to do about GL, but I can invite you back to the guild at least
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: Oh gee thanks
You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]: I don’t fucking believe this shit
You have been invited to join the guild <Warchief>.
You have joined the guild <Warchief>.
You have been promoted to the rank Recruit.
You have been promoted to the rank Member.
You have been promoted to the rank Officer.
You have been disconnected.
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You have logged on.
[Officer][Lorthemar] Well that’s just too bad, now isn’t it?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Lor’themar, I understand, but please try to be prudent at least.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] FUCKING HELL
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] wow this is a really bad day for pwn
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] welcome back, boss
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] UGH this is infuriating
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Actually, while we’re inviting, let me bring a friend in as well, if nobody minds.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] sure
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Between the disconnections and Ponytail here all I need is a pickle for the crap sandwich that is my day
[Bob] has joined the guild.
[Bob] has been promoted to the rank Recruit.
[Bob] has been promoted to the rank Member.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi bob!
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WELCOME
[Guild][Lorthemar] Greetings, Bob! As Guild Leader, let me welcome you to the guild!
[Guild][Lorthemar] I’m sure you’ll feel right at home with the <Warchief> tag below your name.
[Guild][Bob] Tanks, mon! It’s good ta be here!
[Guild][Bob] I be lookin’ forward to goin’ on epic missions with lots a ya!
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] This guy seems familiar
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OH SHIT
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] ^_^
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So…you play EO too, huh?
[Guild][Bob] Hey, mon! Do I know ya?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] sigh
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’ll get you all for this
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] um
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Nice to meet you
[Guild][Bob] Good ta meet ya too, OmgipwneduMon!
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] But for now… I’m going to log off before this vein in my forehead bursts
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] quick recommendation, boss?
You whispered to [LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]: You GET his ass in line, you understand me?
[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] whispered: Of course, dear Warchief.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] next time you log on, if you think you smell burning hair, turn off your computer
[Guild][Bob] So I got a question if anybody knows.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fine
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] For the duration, Lor’themar, you might want to change the GL title from what I’d set it as.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Taking off now
[Guild][Bob] If da Lich King’s horse be Invincible, how come I could see it?
[Officer][Lorthemar] What’s the title now?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] “Queen.”
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] no no, thats invisible
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh man, good thing Garrosh is leaving
You have logged off.
A public service announcement
Greetings, random internet surfer.
Welcome to the Warchief’s Command Board. Depending on how you found your way here, you may or may not know what this site actually is. If you don’t, allow me to illuminate. What you see before you is the personal blog of Garrosh Hellscream, Warchief of the Horde.
No, seriously. No joke. This is really Garrosh. [OOC disclaimer from our legal department: This isn’t really Garrosh.]
If this sounds like something that might interest you, perhaps you’d care to peruse the blog to learn a bit more about it and what kinds of adventures I’ve been detailing thus far. But I’d like to take a moment here to speak to those of you who already suspect that this site isn’t quite what you had set out looking for.
Greetings again, my good internet denizens.
From your arrival here, I gather that you too are a fan of the Google search engine. I can’t say I blame you. I know I’ve found many lemon square recipes that I never would have known about (though admittedly still no match for Greatmother’s) courtesy of the good people at Google.
I’m also happy to have new potential readers find their way here, regardless of how. So welcome, one and all.
With that said, I suppose I may want to address the concerns that some of you may be feeling at this point. And yes, I’m afraid you may be in for no small amount of disappointment, my friends. I regret to inform you that the odds are great that you will not find the true object of your search here.
Because, you see, while I am certainly no friend of Jaina Proudmoore, and while you’ll find no shortage of mockery and outright hostility directed at her from me here, I’m afraid that nowhere in these pages will you find visual evidence of her engaged in carnal acts with livestock. No cows. No goats. Not even a piddling little barnyard dog.
Yes, I know. In this shameful instance, the Google machine appears to have lied to you. I am as shocked and dismayed by this as you are.
Likewise, you will not find anything here that you might file under “Jaina Proudmoore captured xxx,” much to the chagrin of at least three of you. I would of course be only too happy to report the capture of an enemy of the Horde such as Jaina, but I fear that the “xxx” on the end of the search string adds a further wrinkle which renders the already-unlikely scenario much more far-fetched.
Well, okay. Somewhat more far-fetched. This is Jaina we’re talking about. But I digress.
While we’re on the subject, you’re also not going to find “Jaina Proudmoore and Varian porn,” “Jaina and Tyrande porn,” “Jaina Proudmoore Muradin porn” or – despite its rampant popularity – “Jaina Proudmoore and Sylvanas porn.” Speaking of which, let’s just extend the whole blanket “nope” to any comparable permutations involving Sylvanas. No Argent Confessor Paletress. No Liadrin. No High Inquisitor Whitemane. No Shademaster Kiryn. Not gonna happen, people. Trust me. I’ve floated a couple of those by her more than once myself. She’s not biting. Let it go.
Moreover, whoever among you came here looking for “Jaina Proudmoore climbing pole to victory porn drawing” (yes, really), “pandaren fucked by brown virmen” (yes, really), “broken blood elf statue with vagina showing” (yes, really), “Grimtotem fucking with Mankrik’s wife while Mankrik sees it” (yes, really)…I honestly don’t know what to say to any of you. Other than perhaps having to offer you some begrudging respect for knowing exactly what you want in your lives. Horrifying and sad though they may be.
But alas, your simple albeit distressingly specific wishes will not be fulfilled here. Once again, the perfidious Google machine makes fools of us all.
And whichever one of you found your way here in search of “King Varian Wrynn gets a little diplomatic with Aggra’s butt porn” – and yes, one of you did (you know who are you are) – I can only shake my head sadly and mourn whatever tragedy befell you in childhood. I would also suggest securing your home, as I suspect there’s at least a passing chance Thrall may be on his way over as we speak.
And, further, nowhere on this blog will you find anything that might be described as “Varian Wrynn raped by devilsaur,” although, let me assure you, language cannot express the delight with which I would provide you with such documentation if I could.
Indeed, the only fleeting glimmer of hope I can offer amid this endless parade of sadness would be whoever came to the blog searching for “man what the f happened Horde” – a sentiment with which I can certainly sympathize, and which I have likely expressed in my posts here on more occasions than one. Sadly, though, it is a question for which I can offer you no answers, my friend. I wish I knew what the f happened. I truly, truly do.
For those among you who are regular readers of this blog, and who might hasten to point out that this very post may well exacerbate this Google hit issue by providing additional suspect phrases for the search engine to latch onto, let me reassure you that I am only too aware of this possibility. And to any such Google users who do indeed find their way here as a result, I will only say:
Greetings, random internet surfer. Welcome to the Warchief’s Command Board. I would tell you that you will leave this site empty-handed, but I suppose that partly depends on how you arrived.
Finally, if I might add a closing postscript: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU FUCKING PEOPLE?!?!!
Ugh.
UGH.
MOVING ON.
Spazzle Speaks: Tell Hell
You have logged on.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’m pretty sure ur wrong
[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] hi mrbad
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] I’LL GO GET MY COPY SO WE CAN CHECK
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i’m quite sure i’m not.
[Guild][Lor’themar] Greetings, MrBadcrumble!
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: hey ji – you feeling ok?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] no sweetie u dont have to
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] hi MBC
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ah, Spazzle, I’m glad to see you on. I’d like to discuss something with you when you have a free moment.
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: yes, i think i’ll be ok
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey everyone
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: have you heard anything about mokvar?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugh well now hes flown off
You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: not a thing
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: just a little sore.
You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: why? is there news?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] sure
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh hi baddie i didnt see u come on
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] do we have more IPs to trace or something?
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: well that’s good
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] No no, nothing quite so technical.
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: not that I know of
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] how’s it going, leslie?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] not bad
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] huh, really?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] same ol same ol really
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: well if you need anything let me know
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You sound surprised.
[LamontCranston] whispered: Hi there.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] well, after a while you kind of get used to it when people only want to talk to you because they can’t get their printer to work
You whispered to [LamontCranston] hi
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] OK HERE WE GO
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] SHERMAN’S CODEX RIGHT?
You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: at this point I don’t think anything would surprise me, though
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] True… I suppose it comes with being one of the few tech literates in the cohort.
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: I know, right?
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] what are you guys doing?
[LamontCranston] whispered: Are you busy?
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] volume 2, yes.
You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: honestly I don’t understand what Mokvar could be thinking
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] THERES A VOLUME 2?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] you get used it mostly
You whispered to [LamontCranston]: a little
You whispered to [LamontCranston]: were you interested in the guild?
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: that’s the thing, though
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: thanks, i will
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] sorry if I’m slow
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] prof here is trying to tell me there’s teleportation magic that would let someone blink all the way to other worlds
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] trying to juggle a bunch of tells
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh I can sympathize.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] not that there ARE such spells, just that there’s a theoretical basis for them being possible, based on the distorted curvature of space surrounding high velocity blinking.
You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: what is?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] and now we’re going to look it up and prove him wrong
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m fielding quite a few myself. Mostly from Lor’themar…I could swear, no sooner do I click back over to officer chat than his whisper tab lights up again.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] what’s going on?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] once we get volume 2…
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] it should be on the shelf below where you got that one.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Something or other with Garrosh and his demands. I’m not sure exactly.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] faded, dark red cover.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] fourth book from the left.
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] OK ON IT BRB
[LamontCranston] whispered: No, Spaz, it’s me.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] how do u know that?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] don’t let me interrupt if you’re talking to him
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i have a very good memory.
[LamontCranston] whispered: Mokvar.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] wait, how are you not sure if he’s going on and on about it?
You whispered to [LamontCranston]: dksjghksdyhgd
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: for him to do all these things he’s been doing… killing the dwarf in ironforge, the deal with magatha, everything…
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: KNOWING I was watching him .. and I know he knew…
[EdwardBear | Ji] has logged off.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] No, it’s fine. I’m really just tabbing over every few lines and giving him a “right” or an “I can see how that would be frustrating” or an “I don’t blame you at all for being upset.”
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: he would have to be an idiot
[LamontCranston] whispered: Now before you go tabbing over to do an IP trace, I’m routing through a proxy server to log on.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] huh
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] isn’t that kind of risky?
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: and if there’s one thing we both know about mokvar, its that he’s not an idiot
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] OK NOW WE’RE IN BUSINESS
You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: yeah
You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: no kidding
You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: 1 sec
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] you have volume 2?
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: kk
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] yea
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I mean, how do you know what he just said was about being upset and frustrated?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’ve known Lor’themar a long time.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] now i just have to find the part about long-distance blinking
You whispered to [LamontCranston]: hang on, since when do YOU know how to mask IPs??
You whispered to [LamontCranston]: and are you crazy? what the hell are you doing??
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] page 273.
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WOW REALLY?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ok looking, hang on
[LamontCranston] whispered: Deliana called in a couple favors to set it up.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] right-hand column.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] under the diagram.
[LamontCranston] whispered: I just needed to get on for a minute to talk to you.
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] HOW DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] like i said, i have a good memory.
You whispered to [LamontCranston]: mokvar, you have to be careful – garona’s on and she was JUST asking about you
[LamontCranston] whispered: I saw her on. I whispered her with a dollar-spam ad and got her auto-ignore.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] sorry i’m going all quiet – trying to fix a bunch of things here
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ok here we go, see it says it wouldn’t work
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] “blinking beyond azerothian gravitational bounds would prove impractical due to drag produced by the blinking subject’s carried mass.”
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] blinking beyond azerothian gravity would be impractical
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: hey spazzle, I know you’re probably still busy there
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Quite all right. As it happens, Lor’themar is growing needy even by Lor’themarian standards. I’m finding myself having to pay attention to some of his prattling.
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: I need to get going
You whispered to [LamontCranston]: what are you even doing on here?
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: I’m leaving for pandaria in the morning and I need to finish packing
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] right.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] is he still upset?
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: I’ll talk to you later
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] keep reading.
[LamontCranston] whispered: Like I said, I wanted to talk to you.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Insofar as he hasn’t spontaneously ceased to be Lor’themar, yes.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] OH
[LamontCranston] whispered: I only have a minute, though.
[Nightengayle | Garona] has logged off.
You whispered to [LamontCranston]: ok…
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] “this obstacle could in theory be overcome by a dispersion of the grounding mass along the blinking vector via a highly concentrated arcane field”
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh…wow
[LamontCranston] whispered: You’re on the short list of people I feel like I can trust, and like I said, I need to talk to you.
[LamontCranston] whispered: But not here.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] which yes, we don’t know how to do yet.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] but we’re talking theory here.
[LamontCranston] whispered: Meet me in Everlook in two days.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] that’s really impressive you knew that
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i read a lot.
User is not logged on.
User is not logged on.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] yea but sherman’s codex volume 2?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] that would be so far down on my reading list i would probably never get to it
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] actually, I need to get off of here for a little while
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] heh, kids. ;o)
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I know you wanted to talk to me about something – can we catch up later?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s fine.
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] HEY I’M THOUSANDS OF YEARS OLD
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If it’s easier, I can e-mail you about it as well.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] ok, sounds good
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] yes, and?
You have logged off.
Monday mailbag
Before I really get rolling with my investigations in Kun-Lai summit, I figured I’d make a pit stop and check on the mail. Here’s what we have this time around…
I haven’t had the chance to get out to Pandaria yet, but I look forward to joining the war effort soon. In the meantime, I’m curious, what’s your take on all that Pandaren beer I’ve been hearing so much about?
–Kalaban, Undercity
Thanks for writing, Kalaban. Gotta say, I’ve been dipping into the local panda brews quite a bit since I’ve been out here (Can you blame me? Have you SEEN the cast of characters I’ve got surrounding me?), and they’re not bad at all. It’s really pretty hard for me to give much more of a review than that, because if there’s one thing panda beers have going for them, it’s VARIETY. They’ve got these lighter, thinner ones that personally I think are almost like drinking water (I’m gonna bet those are pretty popular with the blood elves), all the way up to some serious, heavy-duty, knock-you-on-your-ass brews. Plus everything in between, including all kinds of flavor varieties. I guess that’s what happens when half the population seems to work in the brewing industry in one way or another.
And really, quality-wise you can’t complain about any of it. The ones that are so-so are still totally drinkable. And the ones that are GOOD? Man. They make half the stuff you get during Brewfest seem like you’re drinking carbonated kodo piss. Speaking of which, I’m almost afraid to imagine what’s going to happen when the pandas get their first look at Brewfest next year, because holy shit.
That’s the other thing you notice about the pandas, I’ve got to say. Dipping into the beer is so much a part of their culture that you don’t even realize that almost the entire population has a constant, low-level buzz going. And the funny thing is, yeah, sure, they enjoy drinking and all, but they manage to stay really chill about it, like you never see any angry drunks anywhere (take notes, Tirion). But it’s also like a cultural expectation that they stay vaguely buzzed even beyond the sheer fun of knocking a few back. Which, by the way, makes me worry about General Nazgrim going native on us – you may have noticed, dude has this nasty habit of boarding ships and then winding up smashing them to bits, and I’m thinking that trend won’t be helped if he starts getting into the habit of boozing it up to boot. Not to mention, he’s a general and needs to stay combat-ready. Can’t have him getting a beer belly on us.
Someone is going around posting this…uhhh….manipulated image of you. It’s a travesty and demoralizing to the horde! This cannot keep going! I find too many who are laughing at this.
The fool cryptically added FYG and sign it J. I am not sure what that means, but it can’t be nice. Fattening Your Gut? Fondly Yours Garona? (bitch!) F..ff..ffffffuucc…. ooooooh……OH. OOOOHHH! O.O
SIR, THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS! I WILL HUNT DOWN THIS…THIS…LESS THAN A PEON WORTHLESS SCUM, SLIT HIS THROAT, AND MAKE A NECKLACE FROM HIS TEETH AS A GIFT TO YOU!
I WILL NOT STAND HAVING SOMEONE MAKE YOU LOOK FATTER THAN JI!
I WILL HUNT DOWN AND KILL EVERY PERSON WHO’S NAME STARTS WITH THE LETTER J STARTING WITH THAT FREAKING BLONDIE BOY JOHNNY AWESOME!
(Like the caps? Me too.)
After all the J’s are dead, their heads hanging of the gates of Ogrimmar, and the streets flowing with their blood…can we like, go out? I think you’re so cute…even if you have a little bit of a belly. (You may want to take it easy on the pancakes and lemon squares, sir.)
Forever in my Heart,
–Tuekie, Rogue Trainee, Ogrimmar
PS: I’m older than I look. Ok?
Okay, so first of all, just so everybody knows, Tuekie here is one of the Dead Peons Society trainees that I’ve been working with the last few months, part of that whole group Gurtash is in. She’s actually the twin sister of Ruekie, a shaman trainee I think I’ve mentioned once before.
And yes, I know. Somebody had twins and named them Ruekie and Tuekie. And yes, I agree. Death is too good for some parents. (Granted, “Ruekie” and “Tuekie” are nicknames, and their original, given names – Rue’kara and Tue’kara – are a little better, but still, come on. You don’t give your twins names that fucking rhyme.)
Anywhow. Tuekie here was part of the original group with her sister, but we ended up having her stay back in Orgrimmar rather than join us for the trip to Pandaria, in no small part because…yeah. As you might have noticed…just a little tiny bit TOO fond of her mentor. So between the fact that in Pandaria I wouldn’t have the ability to send her back to her parents at the end of the day, and the fact that, as a rogue, who KNOWS what she could get up to sneaking around all invisible and shit…yeah, better to let her stay with mom and dad. FYI, there were a couple other trainees who ended up needing to stay back in Orgrimmar for one reason or another, so they’re still continuing their training back there while the other eight trainees are down here with me.
Oh and also, Teukie? “I’m older than I look”? Um, I KNOW how old you are. You’re freaking fourteen. I’m thirty-four, and you’re fourteen, and I haven’t hooked up with a teenager since I WAS a teenager, and the less said about that draenei girl in Nagrand the better, seeing as I don’t want Greatmother coming down here and boxing my ears. So will you give it a rest already because it isn’t going to happen, okay?
Seriously, do other teachers have to deal with this shit? Don’t stand so close to me.
Now as for the OTHER important part of this letter…
OMG WTF IS THAT SHIT?!?!
Okay…so…this is where I am TOTALLY on board with Teukie, because whoever is behind THAT thing…I…it…just…HOLY FUCKING HELL. “F.Y.G.” OMG
Okay. Okay…calming down…deep breaths…let’s look at this thing rationally.
So…we know we’re looking for someone whose name starts with a J. (By the way, I’m not sure if Johnny Awesome is really going to be our prime suspect here, but you know what? Go kill him anyway. Fucker.)
Also, based on…the product…it’s probably a safe bet that this is someone who really, really doesn’t like yours truly. So, right there, that narrows the field down A LOT, right?
Add to that the fact that that image is clearly using an Earth Online character model. So we’re dealing with someone who probably plays EO, or at least is familiar enough with the game that they would think to dip into it for the image.
So…J’s… Ji Firepaw couldn’t be it – yeah, he plays EO a little, but he’s pretty clueless in-game and I don’t see him being able to do that kind of image manipulation. Jorn Skyseer at Domination Point is out – he isn’t a gamer at all, and I’ve always gotten along pretty well with him. Jorin Deadeye? Hmm…I don’t THINK he plays EO, but let’s maybe not cross him off the list just yet.
There have to be other options, though. Think, Garrosh, think…someone who doesn’t like you, whose name starts with J…plays Earth Online…
Oh.
OH.
THAT FUCKING BITCH?!?!!
Ohhhhh man is she in for it. Let’s see how funny she thinks it is when I march down there and blow up her whole damn—OH WAIT, I TOTALLY ALREADY DID. So you know what? If this is her idea of revenge, if the worst thing she can come up with to get back at the Horde is to doctor up some sad little picture to send around the internet, hey, knock yourself out, Jaina. Have fun. Pretty fucking sad, when you think of it. Also pretty ironic that she’s making pictures of ME to put on the internet – seriously, lady, you want to go over some of the image searches for YOU that come up in my Google hits on a daily basis?
I just recently found your blog and just caught up on all of your postings. It’s been nice to see the more orcish side of such a larger than life leader. Plus, your lemon squares are truly a gift from the Light! Even though I am Forsaken, those lemon squares manage to bring life back to my taste buds.
I wanted to share a story I thought you might enjoy. I was searching for news on the events happening in Pandaria, and I came across a picture of Lor’themar Theron. I showed my husband (a blood elf paladin) the picture, and his response was “Who is the guy with the eyepatch?” I couldn’t help but laugh. Don’t tell Lor’themar, I’d hate for him to get angry at me. I’d rather not have him glaring at me when I join up with the Reliquary in Pandaria.
Fare well in Pandaria, Warchief.
–Beshara Dawnblaze, Forsaken priestess of the Shadow and Light
Thanks for writing, Beshara. I’m not gonna lie. I LOL’ed reading that. I’m still kinda sitting here chortling, because…hehe…
“Who’s the guy with the eyepatch?”
“What, you mean Eyepatch?”
“That can’t really be his name, can it? People must call him something else, right?”
“Ponytail, maybe?”
“That’s not really a name, either.”
“Hair-Care? Cyclops?”
“I don’t think he would really answer to those, would he?”
“Well then I’m out.”
So, also, see? SEE? NOBODY knows the dude’s name, not even his own people. It’s not just me, and it’s not just the Earth Online gang. Other that Sylvanas, who seems to be able to remember him for some reason. Maybe it’s an undead thing. As far as those of us among the living go, though, I swear it’s like the guy has some crazy psychic field around him that makes everyone forget him as soon as they look away.
Anyway, I’ll look forward to meeting you when you get down here, Beshara. Tell you when, when you see me in person, if you want to crack me up right out of the gate? Just walk up and say “Eyepatch.”
I got a surprise for ya, mon! Dat letter ya got from Tandeleina in ya last mailbag? She was right, mon! I am Vol’jin! She figured it out, mon! I’m up an’ kickin’ an’ still on da loose! Ya bettah watch ya back, mon, ’cause I be comin’ for ya!
–Bob, Shado-Pan Mon Echo Isles
Okay, seriously, dude, do you think I haven’t figured out your MO yet? Come on. This jackass keeps writing to me, and more often than not he just comes up with some crazy ridiculous bullshit to yank my chain and jerk me around. And you know what? I’m man enough to admit a lot of the time he’s gotten me to bite. He’ll write some load of crap, and I’ll take the bait, and rant at him about it for a while, and meanwhile I’m sure he’s kicking back in troll-land laughing his ass off because trolls think positively EVERYTHING is fucking hilarious because felweed.
Well guess what. You’re not getting me this time, Bobbo. Yeah, you’re Vol’jin. Sure you are. Absolutely. You somehow miraculously survived the attack in the saurok cave, and you’ve gone off in hiding to heal up, and meanwhile you’ve been putting this WHOLE GIANT CONSPIRACY together behind my back, I’m sure, and recruiting people to help you, and biding your time before The Glorious Revolution where you overthrow me or some shit.
Yeah, sure. That’s real fucking likely.
Probably.
…
Where did I put that note from AlternateTimeline!Faranell again…?
Underground farmer’s market
While I’m waiting to hear from the Reliquary elves on their latest dig site up in Kun-Lai Summit, I decided to have a look around some of the neighboring areas. Before I came to Pandaria, everybody seemed to be going apeshit over the crazy overflowing farmlands here, and since the Valley of the Four Winds is pretty close by, I figured I’d take a trip down there with Malkorok and the DPS trainees to check it out for myself.
It really is a nice area down there, I’ve gotta say. Kind of reminds me of Nagrand, in fact, what with the grassy plains. Most of the region is covered with farms, and let me tell you, the folks writing in to the mailbag WERE NOT KIDDING about the giant vegetables they’ve got going on down here. Which would be a lot more exciting, granted, if they weren’t, y’know, frigging VEGETABLES.
At one point, I was standing in front of this gigantic carrot that was sprouting out of the ground – like, just the exposed part of the carrot was at least twice as tall as me – and I was saying to the kids how I don’t get the point of having giant-size carrots like this, unless they’ve got giant-sized rabbits to feed around here. And yeah, I know I’ve made that joke before, but check it out – no sooner had I said that, than A GIANT-SIZED RABBIT came hopping out of a burrow and jumped us!
Now granted, it’s not like this thing was especially hard for me and the kids to kill. (To tell the truth, the trainees mostly worked on a bunch of smaller rabbits that came bouncing on in during the fight, but hey, practice is practice.) So, on tonight’s menu: giant roast rabbit.
You know, I think I’ve just found a reason why these giant vegetables might be a good thing after all. Big huge vegetables = big huge herbivores = BIG HUGE MEAT.
Hmm. I should probably rephrase that last part. Jaina might see it and get excited.
Anyway, I figured hunting some of the smaller rabbits – which I guess aren’t quite rabbits, but something the pandas call “virmen” – might make for good practice for the trainees, so I spent a little time going into the burrows with them. The kids are coming along…still a little klutzy, but nothing that more reps won’t fix. Malkorok thought we were wasting our time with all the rabbit hunting, but hey, the kids have to start somewhere.
We went around the valley for a while, poking into those burrows when we found them. Then, after a while, we found what I figured was another burrow in the side of a hill – only when we went in, there weren’t any virmen anywhere to be found. The burrow ended up being a tunnel that led pretty far underground, and as we followed it down, eventually we started hearing some kind of activity in the distance, and could see light around the bend. When we finally got to the end of the tunnel…well, check this out. You’re not going to believe this one.
The tunnel opened to a large room, lit by lanterns hanging from the ceiling. All through the room there were rows of workstations set up with computers, and every one of them was manned by a panda. Mostly kids, from the looks of it, if not all kids. They were all busy working on something on the computers and hardly even noticed us when we came in. Then we started wandering up and down the rows and peeking in on what the pandas were all so locked-in on working on.
They were all playing Earth Online.
Wait, did I say “playing”? Not so much PLAYING, as…well…farming dollars in-game. And then some of them seemed to be on the sales end of the business, hanging out in the capital cities and spamming trade chat with their ads. Seems like the ones who were doing that all had a couple pre-set chat-spamming macros with their set announcements. You know the ones…
[Trade] Plz pay attention to the hot news! Happy weekend and all our friends. For customer in celebration old and new, we special offer on dollars! Now only 1000g = $250$dollar !!! Welcome to WWW. dollardollarbillyall .COM !! Come on!
So yeah, THAT’S where all those motherfuckers come from! Messed up, right?
Obviously I wasn’t going to leave THIS little operation going. I tried explaining my low-grade freak-out over it to Malkorok, but he’s not a gamer and doesn’t understand why I waste my time on that stuff anyway, and I’m pretty sure he didn’t really follow when I tried to spell out to him what these people were doing. I think he pretty much stopped trying to grasp it after he got to the “they’re doing something that Garrosh apparently does not like” stage, and recommended we just kill them.
Meanwhile, one of the trainees, this budding shaman named Ruekie, was already working on a less deathy solution: she started going around talking to the panda kids, and found out they were getting paid like 6 copper an hour for this gig. (I know, right?) So then SHE pointed out the (pretty damn modest but way more than 6c/hour) allowance that Horde trainees get paid, and woo boy, did THAT news spread like wildfire through the room.
So, bottom line, within about 20 minutes we had several dozen panda kids asking to sign on as trainees, and bouncing around on their chairs yelling “For the Horde!” once we’d finished signing them up. Burzum, Ishi, and Krimpatul are about to have a whole lot more mentoring work on their hands than they were probably counting on.
And I didn’t even have to offer to let them punch me in the face.
(Fuck you, Varian.)
