Tag Archives: monument

When a good orc goes to war


Here’s an ugly fact: If you’ve spent enough time in battle – past the point where you get the rookie jitters, straight through to that point where the sight of blood doesn’t phase you anymore – you start to be able to hear the difference between types of blows. The flesh wounds, the cleaving slices, the glancing cuts, the deep hacks that hit bone…eventually you know just from the sound when a blow’s been landed that no garden variety mortal is going to walk away from.

Eventually you know that sound. You never mistake it.

I was hearing that sound a lot when my mother and I first arrived in Demon Fall Canyon. Like always, the place was crawling with lesser demons…droves of these piddly weak-ass infernals and succubi and felguards. When I came here once before, I mostly made my way around them – the pansy-ass fuckers were at least bright enough not to want anything to do with me – but this time I didn’t have much interest in sneaking around. So, we left a nice wide trail of chopped-up demons all the way to Grom’s monument.

I kept my distance and let Lakkara go up to the monument by herself. She knelt down next to it and read Thrall’s plaque, then cried for a while. When she finally composed herself again, she started talking quietly. I didn’t really try to listen in, only picked up little bits and pieces. Something about doing what she had to do to keep their son safe and untainted…that she was happy he found his way back, like she’d always hoped he would. That she wished she could have been there beside him at the end.

I didn’t go near the monument. I didn’t want to disturb her.

I was mostly off in my own thoughts and didn’t notice the rustling in the surrounding bushes until it was too late. Something hit me from behind – I couldn’t see right away – and then a voice from one of the nearby cliffs called out to me by name, and yelled something about me being a shortsighted fool, and I would lead the Horde to ruin because I wasn’t willing to make the tough choices. Monologuing away, true to bad guy form, which of course just gave me time to get my wits about me and see who it was.

Guess who. “Former General” Grebo, up and kicking again. I swear, doesn’t anybody stay dead anymore? Other than the ones who deserve better?

Meanwhile, I’d also been able to size up who had jumped me. There were four humans, all dressed in black, who’d gotten in a few hits to disorient me before I knew what was happening. Now, though, I’d gotten my second wind and had Gorehowl out. And then there were three humans. And then there were two.

While I was making short work of Grebo’s human lackeys, Grebo himself leapt down from the cliff behind me. I just caught him landing out of the corner of my eye as I was spinning to cut down another one of the humans – they really DO drop easily – but I managed to put a little TOO much energy into my swing, spun more than I’d meant to on the follow-through, and turned my back to Grebo as a result. Rookie mistake. I know better than that. And while I regained my footing, I could hear the footsteps running up behind me.

And then another set of footsteps. And a voice yelling “No!”

And then that sound.

Eventually…you know that sound. You never mistake it.

And then my mother’s voice crying out. And then nothing.

Lakkara collapsed to the ground. I turned and lunged at Grebo, but that final lackey of his managed to lock me up for a second. (Throwdown is considerably less fun when you’re on the other end of it.) Grebo must have realized that all of a sudden this wasn’t the day to try his luck, and started to take off. The couple of seconds I took separating the last human from his arms gave Grebo enough time to get a decent head start on me, and by the time I could close the gap at all, he was able to duck around a corner and disappear. Into a cave, or the shadows, or who knows where. Somehow he lost me and I wasn’t going to start wasting time chasing shadows.

I tried to hurry back to the monument as fast as I could, even though I knew deep down that time really wasn’t going to be an issue. When I got back, the armless human was laying in his heap, along with two of the others, but one of his friends was gone – maybe I was a little quick to assume I’d one-shot them all? There was blood on the ground where he fell, and more trailing along to a second bloody puddle where Lakkara had fallen. Only…no Lakkara.

I ran around Demon Fall Canyon like a lunatic, looking for bodies, blood, scraps of cloth. Tracks, as if I was a fucking hunter and would know how to follow them in the first place. Anything. All I could find was more of those damned weakling demons, and the ones that had the bad luck to be within arm’s reach found themselves swapped out for a pile of demon parts real quick. But no sign of my mother. No human. Nothing.

I’m back in Orgrimmar now. My head hasn’t stopped spinning. There isn’t one single part of this that makes sense, but I’m going to find out what’s going on, and how this happened. And someone’s going to pay.



[Header image provided by Angelya from Revive and Rejuvenate, used here with permission and many thanks.]


Chat log’d


I’ve been sinking a lot of time into Earth Online this week, so I figured I’d toss up another one of these logs from <Warchief> guild chat. We’ve been getting some new members joining, so that’s good, although now that it’s not just a bunch of people I know in real life, I’m having to be a little more careful about RL info. You know how it is. Actually, you probably don’t, seeing as most of you aren’t famous and important and shit like I am. Anyway, point being, I figure it will save us all some headaches in-game if everyone doesn’t know I’m Garrosh, or Sylvanas is Sylvanas, or…well, we’re the only ones who really matter, honestly. But you get the point.


You have logged on.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Dammit!

[Guild][Metzen] UGH

[Guild][Proudleslie] well at least we were closer that time

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey chief

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey

[Guild][Metzen] did you get all the interrupts there?

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, I did.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] greetings sir

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey Gil

[Guild][Metzen] are you sure? it looked like he got one off at the end right when livin & i died

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] No, I got all of them.

[Guild][Metzen] it’s not showing up in the logs

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Let’s just finish running back, and we can argue about it later.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What are you guys running?

[Guild][Proudleslie] heroic cc

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] ComicCon heroic

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Last boss

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Ah, okay, the comic dealer guy is kind of tough

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] So we’re finding.

[Guild][Metzen] yeah

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] All right, let’s get healed up and rebuffed.

[Nightengayle | Garona] has logged on.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey gayle

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] hello nighten

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ugh thank goodness

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What’s wrong?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] It’s you guys and the new people in there, right?

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I got hacked

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh damn

[Guild][Metzen] oh yikes that sucks

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] not me

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Me, Mokvar, Metzen, and Proudleslie, yes.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Right, I didn’t mean you, Spaz

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] did you lose anything, gayle?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] don’t think so

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] looks like they restored everything

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] How are they doing?

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Not bad.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] but I don’t think whoever hacked me was trying to steal stuff

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] why?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Fairly well, I’d say.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] well my toon is stuck out here in the middle of nowhere

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] egypt I think

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] weird

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Metzen’s a little pull-happy, seems like he just can’t stand to wait a couple seconds to start a new fight.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] The paramedic isn’t playing *badly*, although she seems to have kind of a low active time.

[Guild][Metzen] yeah that is odd

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] and if they just wanted to steal my stuff you would figure they’d have me parked by a post office

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hmm yeah

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m not sure if she’s just learning a new rotation or distracted or what.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] do you want me to do a little looking for you?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] sure

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] But they’re staying out of the bad and stuff like that?

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] As far as I can tell, yeah.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] kk I’m going to e-mail you with a couple pieces of info I’ll need you to look up for me, then I can poke around a little

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok

[Guild][Metzen] oh damn, badcrumble’s like some master computer guy huh?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Dude, you have no idea

[Guild][Metzen] maybe he’s the one that hacked her haha

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Okay, let’s try this again.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Nah, he wouldn’t do that

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Plus he would be too busy reading comic books or something

[Guild][Metzen] haha nerd

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] …

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Heh… Yeah maybe, but he’s our nerd

[Guild][Metzen] lol

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Metzen, attention over here now please.

[Guild][Metzen] ok

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Let me know how it goes this time through

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I know that fight can be a pain in the ass

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Good luck

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Thanks.

[Dranosh | Utvoch] has logged on.

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] hey guys

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] um…

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] wtf

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] …

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Dude

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] ?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What the hell is up with your name?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] damn your an idiot

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] oh yeah i did a paid name change

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, I get that

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] figured i might as well get rid of the generic name and get a real one

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Right, and that’s fine

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] that’s not the point

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] But THAT name?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yeah

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] NOT COOL, dude

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] totally not cool

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] um ok?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] /headdesk

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] sigh

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] NO

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] It is NOT “ok”

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] what’s wrong with this name?

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] it means heart of draenor in orcish

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] EVERYBODY KNOWS WHAT IT FUCKING MEANS

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] do you not know whose name that is?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] really really not cool

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] that’s really disrespectful

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] do you like know someone with this name?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] head

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] desk

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Um, YEAH

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] you think he would mind or something?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And he was killed by the Lich King

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] he died

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] OH

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] crap

[Guild][Proudleslie] damnit

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] BAH

[Guild][Metzen] fuckkkk

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] ok ok i’ll go change it back

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] be back later

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] still no luck?

[Dranosh | Utvoch] has logged off.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well they’re not talking to…never mind

[Guild][Proudleslie] no

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What’s killing you?

[Guild][Metzen] hey was that guys toon named after saurfangs kid?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah

[Guild][Metzen] that’s totally not cool

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] INORITE?

[Guild][Metzen] lights sake

[Guild][Metzen] I dont know what the hell is wrong with some people

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m not sure. It’s the same as last time; we seemed to be doing fine, and then the whole attempt fell apart.

[Guild][Metzen] i have a son myself, and if something happened to him i would be PISSED if someone went around using his name

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, I can imagine, Metzen

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Not cool at all

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, the boss just started one-shotting everyone.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I think it’s some kind of enrage.

[Guild][Proudleslie] its really frustrating

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Anyway

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You’re using the superhero buffs, right?

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Yes.

[Guild][Proudleslie] if you want to swap me out for a better healer I’ll understand

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] I’m getting the utility belt, LivinDead is getting the golden lasso

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I don’t think it’s a healing issue, Leslie.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Metzen’s getting the green power ring

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] who has the web shooters?

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Wrong faction.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s one of the other faction’s buffs.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol in my other guild we do the marvel ones

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, so you’ve got the buffs covered

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You know what to do when he casts Zero Hour, right?

[Guild][Metzen] run out

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Get away from him till he finishes channeling, yeah.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well yeah, run out

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh wait a minute

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Are we missing something?

[Guild][Proudleslie] mmmm yea you like when I do that?

[Guild][Proudleslie] oops sorry mistell!

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wut

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] um

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OKAY MOVING ON

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I suppose that might account for her low active time…

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Just watch, she’s a human…

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So yeah, you have to get out when he’s casting, but then you’ve got to get back to where you started the fight and retrace your steps

[Guild][Metzen] huh

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ah, I think I’ve heard of this mechanic.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] It’s kind of a dance

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I just didn’t realize it was this fight.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, basically the game remembers all your movements for each cycle

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Any time you make a mistake retracing your steps, you get this stacking debuff called Retcon

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So every time the comic dealer does the Zero Hour reset, you have to get back to where you started

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] If your Retcon debuff stacks too high, his Nerdrage timer goes off and yeah, pretty much wipes the group right off

[Guild][Metzen] ahhh

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] This makes a lot more sense now.

[Guild][Proudleslie] it doesnt seem too hard

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Must…resist…easy…joke

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] haha

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] -sigh- Men.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Okay, rebuff and let’s get this done.

[Guild][Metzen] kk

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey gayle, still there?

[Lorthemar] has logged on.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yes

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] so I did a little tracing on the logins for your account

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] you’re not going to believe this

[Guild][Lorthemar] Greetings, all!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] what?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] hi lorthemar

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] hey whos the new guy?

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] well I think I’ve tracked down who the hacker was

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] It wasn’t Sylvanas, was it? Please tell me it wasn’t Sylvanas

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] actually since he brought it up, who IS the new guy?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Friend of Sylvanas

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] …

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] who?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] the new guy, lorthemar

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] no not that who

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] the hacker who

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] the hacker who what?

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] check this out

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The hacker who HACKS YOUR SKULL INTO LITTLE TINY BITS if you don’t SHUT UP

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I’m pretty sure your account was hacked by brann bronzebeard

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] sorry sir

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] omg

[Guild][Lorthemar] Brann Bronzebeard, the explorer?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wow thats fucked up

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No, Brann Bronzebeard the district attorney. OF COURSE the explorer

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah, I double and triple checked on this

[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh wow.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] the suspicious logins were all coming in through a wireless network very few people use

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] since when is brann bronzebeard a hacker?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh, man, that dude could NEVER resist poking around places he doesn’t belong

[Metzen] has earned the achievement [Heroic: Comic Con]!

[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] has earned the achievement [Heroic: Comic Con]!

[Bartleby | Mokvar] has earned the achievement [Heroic: Comic Con]!

[Proudleslie] has earned the achievement [Heroic: Comic Con]!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] grats!

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] grats

[Guild][Lorthemar] Congratulations, all!

[Guild][Metzen] whew

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Well that was much easier.

[Guild][Proudleslie] woot!

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] And of course…he drops teacher gear.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh dammit!

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] lol

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] anyway gayle, I’ll send you what I found in case you want to contact support about it

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] The itemization is far from ideal, but I might take it to play around with for off-sepc.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok thanks

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Sure, all yours.

[Guild][Metzen] its just a pawn shop voucher to the rest of us

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Anyway, though, grats guys

[Guild][Proudleslie] ty pwn! =)

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Thanks.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] See, all you needed was the intervention of my SUPREME BRILLIANCE

[Guild][Metzen] oh good, now he’s going to be even more full of himself

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] lol

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh you have no idea

[Guild][Metzen] hey speaking of which

[Guild][Metzen] how many guild leaders does it take to change a light bulb?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh boy, here we go

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] haha

[Guild][Lorthemar] How many?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Thanks for the help, though, Garrosh, really.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No biggie

[Guild][Metzen] just one – he holds it still, and the whole world revolves around him

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] haha

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] lol

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck you, Metzen

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i dont get it

[Guild][Metzen] lmao

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Haha

[Guild][Metzen] just kidding – I’m kind of in charge at my job irl so I know what a pain it can be

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, it’s cool

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I mean, joking around is cool

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Being in charge of stuff not so much sometimes

[Guild][Metzen] yeah but then, who knows what idiot would be making a mess of everything otherwise

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Hmm.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I like this guy.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, he seems pretty good.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hmm what?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh nothing.

[Guild][Metzen] anyway i should probably get going

[Guild][Metzen] need to go pick my son up at the priest trainers

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Just a passing thought.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Huh.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] k metzen

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] cya

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] What?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Later man

[SteveKravitz | Utvoch] has logged on.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Why are you being all cryptic all of a sudden

[Guild][Lorthemar] Farewell!

[Metzen] has logged off.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Never mind, don’t mind me.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Probably nothing.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] brb

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no I’m just logging on now

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] hey man

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] um…yeah you are

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] why the ‘no’?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] someone said farewell when i came on

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Have you people seriously not figured out not to ask him to explain when he says something fucked up?

[Guild][Lorthemar] That was me, but I wasn’t talking to you.

[Guild][Lorthemar] That was for Metzen.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh ok

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh hey are you new?

[Guild][Lorthemar] Um…not really.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] huh ok

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] so anyway i changed my name back

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] obviously

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] so yeah that was some wasted gold

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] probably for the best, though

[Guild][Proudleslie] mmmmmm yea shoot it all over me

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yeah i guess

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] omg

[Guild][Proudleslie] omg so so so sorry mistell!!

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] …

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] lol wut

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] HEY HEY HEY HEY


[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] what did i miss

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Wow…just…wow.

[Guild][Proudleslie] soooooo sorry!!!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you want us to answer that chronologically or in order of magnitude?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The fuck is wrong with people, seriously

[Proudleslie] has logged off.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] Welcome to the internet…

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay so on THAT note

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no seriously what did i miss

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I should get going in a minute. I need to help my mom with something

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] ok boss

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ya i was just helping ur mom with something

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, because

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] um…

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hold it

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] …

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh no

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hang on a minute

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok so even i know that was kind of dumb

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So I realize that “ha ha I fucked your mom ha ha” jokes are like the bread and butter of chat line retards all over the internet

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] is it weird that I’m not even in the same room as him and I’m seriously looking for something to hide behind?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] But usually when you say that shit, you’re not saying it to, you know, somebody who KNOWS WHERE YOU FUCKING LIVE

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Right there with ya, Spaz.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] and can GET THERE in like TEN MINUTES

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] lol

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] sorry sir

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wont happen again

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah you better believe it won’t, fuckwit

[Guild][Lorthemar] Please don’t take offense, but are you all sure you’re really friends?

[Guild][Lorthemar] Because, well…

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No, not at all

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Welcome to the guild, by the way. Not sure if we’ve properly met

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i think he just joined

[Guild][Lorthemar] Um…

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] ANYWAY, as I was saying

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] My mom’s been saying she’d like to go to Grom’s monument in Ashenvale

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And I’ve got a bunch of stuff I need to get done here the next couple days

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, that makes sense if she hasn’t been there.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] But I’m going to try to clear things out so we can take a trip over there during the weekend

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So I should probably go take care of some of that

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] kk boss, see you later

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] back

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] cya

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] l8r sir

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] sorry again

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] bye sir

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Later people

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And Dontrag

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yes sir

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Sleep lightly

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] haha

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] pwned lol

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Take it easy, chief.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Spazzle, did you say you can track IP addresses from logins?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yup

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’d like you to check something for me if you don’t mind.

You have logged off.


Monday mailbag


So first of all, thanks to the people who showed their support over my trip to Grom’s monument in Demon Fall Canyon. Also Spazzle was helpful getting the pictures up on the blog, because for some reason he wasted all kinds of timing learning how to do dorky stuff like that while he was tinkering around with all the weird gadgets those goblins keep piling up in the Valley of Spirits.

As one last tribute to the whole experience, I decided to write something up to commemorate my father’s sacrifice and Thrall’s first trip to Nagrand, when he showed me what had really gone down with Mannoroth.


There once was an orc from Nagrand
Who by chance, luckily, was on hand
For the Warchief’s arrival,
With glamors archival,
Fuck you, Varian.
To reveal Grom’s last glorious stand.




On to this week’s mail.


Greetings, Warchief!

I was just wondering if I’ve unintentionally done something to cause offense among the other Horde leaders. I’ve noticed that I don’t seem to be receiving summons to any of the summit meetings you hold with the other faction leaders, and for that matter, other than Sylvanas, none of the others have returned any of my messages.

–Lor’themar Theron, Silvermoon City

Wait, who are you again? Lor’themar? Isn’t that the dude Orgrim Doomhammer killed at Blackrock Mountain like forever ago? You’re still alive WTF? Oh wait a minute – Silvermoon, you must be that blood elf leader. Didn’t we kill you after you went all crazy and tried to summon Kil’jaeden and shit? OH HANG ON, you blood elves have a HISTORY of not staying dead, don’t you? Oh fuck, here we go again, we’ve got another blood elf zombie running around. Just what we need. Someone get Saurfang in on this shit before this one goes all Keleseth on us.


Hey mon,

You know how much I can be sellin’ dese for? [Warglaive of Azzinoth] [Warglaive of Azzinoth]

–Bob, Echo Isles

Oh geez, here we go again. WELCOME TO FIVE YEARS AGO, idiot. You can’t sell those, moron, because IF you ever got them in the first place, they would have magically bound to you when you took them off Illidan’s corpse, LIKE YOU WERE ONE OF THE ONES WHO KILLED ILLIDAN in the first place! And who cares about those anyway, seeing as we’ve got bigger and better things to be thinking of at this point, because it’s not THREE YEARS AGO! AND BEFORE YOU E-MAIL ME AGAIN, no, you also can’t sell [Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker].


Um, dude, seriously? The poetry blogging thing is totally my deal. Find your own gimmick, will you?

–Sargeras, Twisting Nether

WHY DON’T YOU COME MAKE ME! You heard me! I’m right here, you want to make something of it, come get me!

Yeah, I bet we won’t be hearing from him again. Not for, like, a few years anyway.


Finally, this message arrived in the form of a comment on Spazzle’s post from a few days ago, but I thought it merited a response here:

Dear Warchief,

I am an 8 year old forsaken mage and I have a question for you. Is there honor left in the horde? My friends (also forsaken) all say that there is no honour, only plague, valkrys and undeath. Sylvanus says to believe what you see and she saw only darkness when the bad man godfrey killed her. Please tell me the truth, is there honour in the horde? (even for forsaken?)

–Pluton, undead mage

Honor, Pluton. No matter how dire the battle, never forsake it.

Varok Saurfang taught me that when we served together in Northrend. His words have never left my thoughts, and I think they’re especially fitting here. Your people may call themselves the Forsaken, but it’s not really so. You are not forsaken. Honor does not forsake us. We forsake it…and as long as we don’t, it won’t either.

I’ll be honest with you. I’ve always had my doubts about the undead, and about Sylvanas in particular. I worry that she has her own agenda. I wonder how loyal she truly is to the Horde. Ever since the siege of the Undercity, I’ve had nagging doubts about just how much of Putress’s plan was really going on without her knowing. There’s a reason why I’m keeping a Kor’kron detachment there. (And no, Bragor, I’m still not giving you a three-day pass. Seriously. You can stop with the damn e-mails.)

But I’ll tell you this, too: If you’re finding yourself worrying about whether there’s honor left for you as a Forsaken, then you already have your answer.

Men without honor do not agonize over losing it.

Sylvanas was right about one thing. You do have to trust what you see. I see a Horde made up of races – every one of them – who have endured unspeakable losses, suffered horrifying pain…and carry on, bending but not breaking, holding up their heads the best they can. I see Thrall and Cairne – every day as if they were still in front of my eyes – fighting through burning ruins to save the children of blood elves they’ll never know.

Yes, we Horde have had our share of dishonorable names. But for every Gul’dan, we have an Eitrigg. For every Magatha Grimtotem, there’s a Cairne. And then there’s my father, Grommash…the worst of us, and the greatest of us. He was the first to drink Mannoroth’s demon blood and doom the orcs to slavery…and the one to buy back our freedom with his own life. A reminder for all of us that honor never really leaves us. It only lays dormant until we reclaim what was always ours.

Even for Sylvanas. Somewhere inside that…unscrupulous shell, there’s a elven ranger general who stood alone between the Scourge and the fall of her people, and cut down legions of undead before laying down her life. A spirit so strong that not even the Lich King could break it, so strong that she willed her violated people to the closest semblance of freedom left for them. If that freedom is a pale imitation of living, then it’s also the last, best gift Windrunner had to give, however paltry it may have been. If what Sylvanas has become has cost her her soul – if darkness really is all the awaits her – then that should only magnify her sacrifice…because everything she’s become is the price she willingly paid for her people.

I hope someday she can find some piece of what made her one of the greatest of her kind. I’m just not holding my breath.


UGH…that was hard. HEAD HURTS. Remind me not to do that again. And dammit, did I actually just talk myself into respecting Sylvanas? Crap.

Anyway, I still have to talk about the rest of the Ashenvale stops, plus I’ve got to start getting ready for some more of these inspections. Dammit, I don’t know why I even bother unpacking. More soon.


Demon Fall Canyon


Three years on Azeroth. I’d never come here until today.



Thank you, father. Rest well.