Tag Archives: vol’jin
Kypari Zar
[Well, you can’t say I didn’t warn you! As I said at the end of the Spazzle mailbag, I want to finish Garrosh’s journey to Kypari Zar before I return him to mailbag duty. And since we still have a few chapters of the Kypari Zar story to go, today’s regularly scheduled mailbag is on hold until this comic sequence wraps up. (I’ve used awkward workarounds in the past to let him post mailbags while he was in the middle of other events, but truth be told, I always found them rather inelegant, so I’d rather not resort to them again…) As I indicated last time, the mail will be coming, the first Monday following the completion of the Kypari Zar mini-arc (believe me, you’ll know when that is!).
Until then, all I can do is thank you for your patience with my slow production of late, thank you in advance for your ongoing patience going forward, and promise that I really am working on generating content for the blog as quickly as life will allow! Oh, and hope that you’re finding that content tolerable when it finally does get here… <crosses fingers>
With that said… let me toss out a handy link back to parts one and two, then send you right along to… ]
THREE: HAUNTED
* As longtime readers will remember, Garrosh believed at one point that he had been reunited with his long-lost mother, Lakkara,** only to discover that her apparent return had actually been a ruse perpetrated by Magatha Grimtotem. Magatha used to specially attuned totem to summon Lakkara’s spirit and create the appearance that she had returned, only to stage her apparent death — hauntingly, given the current events at Kypari Zar, by her stepping in to take an attacker’s blow directed at Garrosh.
** I’ve noted this before, but it bears repeating: while Lords of War and the “Hellscream” short story established that Garrosh’s mother’s name was Golka, the blog still acknowledges her as Lakkara. This is partially because the blog arc had already happened by the time Lords of War came along, and I didn’t really want to retcon, and partially because… well, you’ll see. There is A Plan.™ Just trust me for now!
Spazzle Speaks: Public Relations
What’s up?
Okay, maybe that’s just force of habit. I should probably know better than to ask what’s up — there’s probably way too much up nowadays. I guess that’s what I get for knowing more about what’s going on than most people, and trying to… you know… keep a lid on everything. Not letting these people over here know what those people over there are doing, and vice versa, and… and… yeesh, believe me, it’s a headache.
I haven’t seen Vol’jin on Earth Online or heard anything from him for a few days, so I guess he’s probably busy with whatever he has going on in Pandaria, and maybe ready to finally leave the monastery where he’s been staying. That’s good for him, for sure, but it’s maybe not so great for me. I mean, once he’s back on the grid, I have to figure he and Thrall will stop operating in secret, and once word starts getting around about what’s really going on… well… it’s not going to be a whole lot of fun for me.
And that’s even assuming Vol’jin doesn’t manage to reappear with something more dramatic and… well… dangerous than even I’m thinking. I almost wish he were still turning up online and telling me more than I even really want to know about what’s up. At least then I’d have some idea and could brace myself. This whole being left in the dark thing is just nervewracking.
Still, I’d like to avoid the real disaster outcomes if I can. I’ve been thinking maybe if Garrosh could still smooth things over with people, we could still avoid something really ugly. Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m talking about Garrosh, but the thing is, you guys aren’t around him all the time like me and Mokvar. I mean, sure, he’s kind of rough around the edges. Well… maybe not rough so much as jagged. Or serrated. With barbed wire and totally unnecessary spikes. I get it. I do. But underneath it all I still think he means well. I mean, unless you’re human. Or maybe draenei, what with the whole lead-the-Legion-to-Outland thing. And I guess he’s not too crazy about trolls, either, but… Well you get what I mean! I never said he was an angel or anything.
I thought maybe if Garrosh could work a little on his public image, he might have a chance to keep things here at home from bubbling over. So I had a talk with Boss Mida about maybe helping him a little with his PR. She’s a real pro at polishing people’s public perception — it’s no coincidence that she rose from being a generic mid-level assistant to where she is now incredibly quickly, and believe it or not, she’s the biggest reason why most people view Gallywix as just generally kind of shifty, as opposed to the full-on reptile he really is. (Does he read the blog, actually? I hope not.) There’s a lot of Mida-directed spin control there, believe me. So I’m going to see what Mida can come up with to help Garrosh with his image or at least maybe coach him a little on how to, you know, have a conversation without antagonizing people. As much. I figure throwing fewer punches in professional settings might be a good start. Maybe he’ll listen if that’s coming from a pro like Mida. He sure as shoot didn’t listen when I tried to. I still have the bruises to prove it.
Mida says she’ll need to talk to the big guy himself before she can work up a full game plan, but I tried to at least get things started. She had a bunch of questions about Garrosh and how he tends to operate — she only really had dealings with him right before he left for Pandaria, with the whole construction deal, and even that was most done through go-betweens — so I tried to answer as many of her questions and fill in as much as I could.
That’s when she tripled her preliminary price estimate. Hoo boy.
What? You didn’t think this was going to be a free service, did you?
#500 GIANT-SIZED (not really) ANNIVERSARY (kind of) SPECIAL
Okay, people, I know we’ve got a hell of a lot going on these days on a whole bunch of fronts, but let’s get our damn priorities straight and take a moment to APPRECIATE THE GODDAMN AWESOMENESS OF ME.
Why, you ask? AS IF YOU NEED A REASON. But okay, fine, be that way. Even though you should already be in a constant state of awe over your Warchief, today marks an EXTRA SPECIAL awesome, awe-inspiring, awful… wait. I think I just took a wrong turn there.
…
IT’S A SPECIAL GODDAMN OCCASION IS WHAT I’M SAYING.
Reason being, the post you see before you marks the 500th BLOG POST here on the Warchief’s Command Board. That’s right, bitches, 500 posts — that’s FIVE ZERO ZERO. Go ahead and count ’em. I KNOW YOU WON’T.
But that’s where we are, people — 500 installments of EVERYBODY’S FAVORITE BLOG EVER. And riddle me this: have you read them all?
Yeah, me neither.
I mean, there were a bunch in there by guest posters like Spazzle and Mokvar, and I like those guys and everything, but not enough to actually give a shit about what they have to say about… like… anything. But whatever — like trees falling in the forest with no one there to hear them, those guests posts still… um… make a… sound when they…crash the server and… um… that is…
OKAY, THAT ONE GOT AWAY FROM ME A LITTLE, TOO. I MAY OR MAY NOT BE WORKING ON A COUPLE DRINKS, OKAY, SO STFU.
Anyhow. I’d like to thank all my loyal readers, and say that I couldn’t have done it without you. I’d LIKE to say that, but I can’t, because I totally could have. Let’s be real, scrubs, I’m the awesome one here, not you. THERE’S A REASON WHY YOU’RE READING MY BLOG AND NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND, NOW ISN’T THERE?
But still, the occasion calls for something special, so in keeping with this month’s theme — I DO have a Poetry Challenge in progress, after all — I figured I’d take a look back at a 500-stack of EPIC the only proper way EPIC gets done:
That “LOK’TAR OGAR!” that I blogged for a starter;
I met D&U, but my wyvern’s way smarter;
Krom’gar dropped a bomb, but I dropped his ass harder;
EO gaming, “why fly” malaprop.
Twilights on a mission for that Cho’gall demon;
Ogres versus Grimtotem, and Magatha schemin’;
Johnny Awesome, beat it; Garona, keep dreamin’;
Saurfang took a turn watching the shop.
That time I went AWOL, then I was recovered;
Grabby Mylune hugged me till I damn near smothered;
Garadar reunion with my long-lost mother;
Year one challenge, rhymes of locks in socks.
Mom was just a cruel trick Magatha unraveled;
Trouble for Forsaken; Tirion’s endless babble;
Head to old Southshore thanks to FUCKING TIME TRAVEL;
Human Faranell’s a paradox.
Psycho!Mylune rampaged, eyes more wild than dewy;
Edwin fucked the past up; all the timelines went screwy;
We straightened them out; Theramore went kablooey;
Went to Karazhan to spin some tunes.
Pandas showed up teaching how anger is managed;
Got myself some trainees: DPS advantage;
Someone ganked Mokvar; he ankhed and wound up bandaged;
Rolled up on Pandaria with my goons.
Gurtash started drawing; Vol’jin stopped his breathing;
Cloudfall spoke of destiny and got me near believing;
Mokvar met Magatha, that one had me seething;
He went off the grid — he’d best run far.
Lor’the’whatsit’s bitching still; I got pounced by Tak;
Snagged the Divine Bell; that’s when Jaina blew her stack;
DPS got lost, but I (mostly) got them back;
Meet my daughter, Shay. (Have a cigar.)
Shay’s mage class was hard, her sucker punch was hardest;
Mokvar reappeared with green fire from the Black Harvest;
Gurtash got blindsided, we were down an artist;
Made an offer Blackfuse can’t refuse.
Green-eyed wolf named Golmash acting pretty fishy;
Gurtash still needs training not to be so squishy;
Utvoch got promoted, but I kinda wish he
And Dontrag weren’t always so confused.
EPIC VERSE and lemon squares, endless reader mail;
Ruekie getting ruekied; eternal minion fail;
Mortimer’s a badass; Shayari’s hunting sales;
Earth Online guild chat is always strange.
FYV; #LadiesLoveMe, ’cause they’re not slumming;
Trolls are always trolling, dumbasses are dumbing;
500 down so far, a thousand more coming!
Okay, maybe. Times could always change.
EPIC VERSE!
Keep checking in, people. The EPIC DROPS are only just warming up.
LOK’TAR!
Divided Loyalties
Since I’ve been back in Orgrimmar, I’ve been kept so busy most days that I’ve hardly had time to stop, catch my breath, and really get back to the normal, mundane business of everyday life. It hasn’t just been the meetings with Garrosh, or the time spent in Ragefire Chasm with Overseer Elaglo or the Cleft of Shadow with Neeru. (Who hasn’t gotten any less coolly unsettling, by the way.) The biggest time sink has been getting my life back together in tangible terms. I suppose most people never need to worry about the practical ramifications of their own deaths, but believe me, when you’re exiled, then declared dead, getting all of that backtracked and your life out of mothballs is a giant pain. Honestly, I used to chuckle at Garrosh getting all irritable over paperwork and triplicate forms. Never again.
In retrospect, it’s a little ironic that Neeru mentioned the other day how unlikely he thought it would be for me to hide the Nether Prism at my house, where someone could break in and steal it. I don’t know if there’s anyplace in Orgrimmar that would have been MORE secure; at that point, my old place was still sealed up under Kor’kron security orders. Any rogue this side of Garona would have had an easier time stealthing into Orgrimmar than breaking into my place. After returning to town, I ended up spending more time cutting through red tape than anything else – getting my house unlocked, my old stuff pulled from storage and returned, my name removed from death records all over the place… Although, honestly, if the tax office wants to go on thinking I’m dead, I probably won’t complain about that one.
Still, all the time I’ve had to spend getting my life back together, combined with all the time spent meeting with the people I’ve needed to, means that until now I haven’t had much time to get caught up with some of the people I’ve wanted to.
JI: Oh… so… are we not having lunch?
SPAZZLE: Uh oh. Here we go…
MOKVAR: Lunch? Well, no, I hadn’t really… Are you hungry?
SPAZZLE: Wow, you really have been away for a long time.
JI: Oh, I wouldn’t want to be a bother.
MOKVAR: Okay. Yeah, sorry, Ji.
JI: It’s just that I suppose I assumed, given the time you said to come over, that we would be having lunch…
MOKVAR: Right. But, no, Ji, I wasn’t thinking lunch. Just that we could sit back and have a few drinks and talk.
JI: Drinks are good!
MOKVAR: Okay, great. So why don’t you guys—
JI: I suppose it’s my mistake. I should have thought to eat earlier.
MOKVAR: Um… would you like me to get you something, Ji?
JI: Oh, I wouldn’t want to be a bother.
MOKVAR: Right. So…
JI: I could swear I smelled something cooking, though.
MOKVAR: Yeah… that’s, um, that’s some clefthoof stew I have simmering for dinner tonight.
SPAZZLE: You realize you’re just digging yourself deeper, right?
JI: Oh, I see… so it’s not ready yet?
MOKVAR: Well… it is, but… I mean, it’s one of those things where it gets better the longer you let it simmer. So I usually let it sit for most of the day, and…
JI: Oh, I’m not picky! It doesn’t have to be perfect.
SPAZZLE: Aaaaaaaand here we go.
MOKVAR: Would… you like some, Ji?
JI: Just a small helping, if you please.
MOKVAR: Um… okay. Why don’t you guys have a seat while I…yeah.
Mokvar retrieves a large pot from the hearth while Spazzle and Ji sit around a circular table.
SPAZZLE: <turning to look at side of his chair> Mokvar, what’s up with these stickers on your stuff?
Mokvar returns and sets a plate on the table before Ji.
MOKVAR: Oh, those? That’s from Kor’kron impoundment.
SPAZZLE: Yikes. How much did they take out of here?
MOKVAR: A lot.
Mokvar scoops a small ladle of stew onto Ji’s plate. Ji leans down to inspect the food a moment, then looks up at Mokvar quizzically.
Is… something wrong?
JI: Well, I did mean a little larger small helping.
MOKVAR: Well maybe it would save time if you just took the whole—
Ji snatches the pot from Mokvar happily.
JI: Thank you, Mokvar!
Ji starts ladling large scoops of stew onto his plate.
MOKVAR: <turning back to Spazzle> Did you want some, too, Spaz?
Ji looks up from the food with an expression of faint concern.
SPAZZLE: No, I’m good.
Ji beams and continues shoveling stew onto his plate.
MOKVAR: Anyway… yeah, they took most of the stuff out of here. Pretty much anything you could carry without needing a second set of hands.
SPAZZLE: Yikes. Your computer, too?
MOKVAR: Oh, man, that was the biggest headache to get back.
SPAZZLE: Did they go through your files? Or could you even tell?
Ji sets down the pot and ties a napkin around his neck.
MOKVAR: I don’t think so. <chuckles> My password lock showed something like five hundred failed attempts to log on.
Ji rubs his paws together, then starts to eat eagerly.
SPAZZLE: Eesh. You know, I’ll bet you anything Malkorok was beating his head against the wall on that one personally.
MOKVAR: Oh no doubt. That’s why I made a point of setting a password he’d never think to try.
SPAZZLE: Oh? What was it?
MOKVAR: “Malkorok.”
SPAZZLE: Ha!
JI: <mouth full of stew> Daff’s fweally thpart, Bokbar.
MOKVAR: Um…thanks. Need any salt, Ji?
JI: <back to eating> Doh tahk yew.
SPAZZLE: That was pretty clever, though. I bet it ticked him off something fierce not being able to crack it.
MOKVAR: I’m half surprised they didn’t bring you in to try to hack in. I’m sure you could have.
SPAZZLE: <shrugs> Who knows. I was probably under suspicion myself by that point. Speaking of which, actually…
Spazzle starts digging through his backpack, then produces a small totem of orcish design.
You gave me this. Back in Everlook. I know you probably don’t need it anymore, or even… well, you know, what with you not being a shaman anymore, but…
Spazzle hands the totem to Mokvar.
I figured it should come back to you either way.
MOKVAR: Thanks.
Mokvar looks at the totem in his hands for a moment, then carries it to the mantle over the hearth and sets it down. Ji looks up at what Mokvar is doing, then turns his attention back to ladling more stew onto his plate.
I don’t figure I’ll have much use for these anymore, yeah. Who knows, though, the way Elaglo and Xorenth are blurring the lines between shamans and warlocks.
SPAZZLE: With the dark shamans, you mean?
MOKVAR: Yeah.
SPAZZLE: What are they doing down there, anyway?
MOKVAR: Mostly working on improving their elemental command spells. They’re pretty much trying to maintain better control of summoned elementals, making it less of an “elements hear my prayer” and more of an “elements do my bidding.”
Mokvar walks back to the table.
SPAZZLE: Like the molten giants at Northwatch.
MOKVAR: Yeah, exactly.
Mokvar looks into the now-empty pot sitting on the table next to Ji, then looks to Ji himself.
All done?
JI: <looks down at his empty plate, then smiles> It was very good, thank you!
MOKVAR: Sure you won’t have any more?
JI: <looks at his plate again, then back up> Is there any more?
MOKVAR: No, there isn’t.
JI: I thought not.
MOKVAR: Yeah. So…
SPAZZLE: For what it’s worth, you’re getting off lighter than I did the last time Ji ate at my place.
MOKVAR: Why? What happened?
JI: Oh bother.
SPAZZLE: He got stuck in the door on his way out.
MOKVAR: You’re…kidding.
JI: It wasn’t my fault!
SPAZZLE: Well it all comes from eating too much.
JI: It all comes from not having front doors big enough!
SPAZZLE: Well, next time, you can host.
JI: I will!
MOKVAR: Well, anyway…
JI: What should I make?
SPAZZLE: Huh?
JI: When you come over.
SPAZZLE: I… we didn’t even really plan it.
JI: Well yes, but I like to plan what I’m cooking in advance!
SPAZZLE: I, um, I’m easy to please.
JI: I might need to go shopping, after all.
SPAZZLE: Really, Ji, you don’t need to make anything special on my account.
MOKVAR: Spaz.
JI: Oh, nonsense. You’re a guest. <thoughtfully> Now, there’s also the Pandaren Noodle Festival to think of…
SPAZZLE: The what?
MOKVAR: Spaz.
JI: Well I wouldn’t want to repeat something being served at the festival and seem lazy, after all…
SPAZZLE: No, really, anything you would make—
JI: You’re sure? I would hate for you to come all that way and not have something you enjoyed.
MOKVAR: Ji, I think what he means is that he’d like to be surprised.
SPAZZLE: Uh…
JI: Oh!
MOKVAR: That’s part of the fun of being a lunch guest…right, Spazzle?
JI: I like surprises!
SPAZZLE: Um… Oh. Yeah! Surprises. Yes sir, nothing more fun than…uh… surprise lunch. Yeah.
JI: Oh, this will be fun. I can try making— oh, oops, I almost spoiled it.
SPAZZLE: No spoilers!
JI: Yes, yes, silly me. I— wait, when are you coming over again?
SPAZZLE: Uh…
MOKVAR: That’s part of the surprise.
JI: <blinks> Oh.
SPAZZLE: Uh, right!
JI: Well I suppose that’s… <tilts head> I should have thought of that. How silly of me.
Mokvar slumps into a chair.
SPAZZLE: So hey, now that you’re working over there with those dark shaman guys, have you been able to find out how Garrosh managed to bring them on board?
MOKVAR: How do you mean?
SPAZZLE: You know, like after he shut them down when they were in Ragefire Chasm before.
JI: They used to be enemies?
SPAZZLE: It was before you got to town, Ji. But yeah. Rumors about them were flying all over the place, but no one ever really got any solid information. All anybody really knows is that we had expeditions going down into Ragefire for a while trying to shut down whatever they were doing.
JI: Oh. So now they’re on our side?
SPAZZLE: Apparently.
MOKVAR: Yeah. About that.
SPAZZLE: Uh oh. It’s never something good when people start like that.
MOKVAR: Yeah.
Mokvar sits quietly for a moment.
SPAZZLE: Oh geez. That bad, huh? What did Garrosh have to offer them to bring them over?
MOKVAR: It’s not that. They were always over.
SPAZZLE: The what you say?
JI: I’m confused.
SPAZZLE: Welcome to Orgrimmar.
MOKVAR: The dark shamans were always Kor’kron operatives. Even in the beginning, when it looked like they were renegades making trouble in RFC. The whole business about them being some rogue shaman group was just a front they were putting up.
SPAZZLE: They— but why?
MOKVAR: Plausible deniability, I guess? In case their dark shamanism angle turned bad? Meanwhile… the expeditions that were sent down there to “clean up” the problem were just… training exercises, pretty much. A way to weed out the weak – on both ends.
SPAZZLE: Wait – so Garrosh knew about this? He planned it?
MOKVAR: Big picture, it was his plan to build a force of dark shamans. How much he knew about the nuts and bolts… I don’t know. I’m guessing at least some of the job of making the trains run on time went to Malkorok, but… I don’t know. I’m still being kept in the dark about a lot of things. I probably know too much as it is. Hell, I probably shouldn’t even be telling you this much.
SPAZZLE: Gee, thanks.
MOKVAR: I don’t mean like that. Hell, Spaz, I wouldn’t…
Mokvar trails off, looking back at the extinguished totem on the mantle, then gestures to it as he turns back to Spazzle.
I wouldn’t have left that with you if I didn’t trust you. I just mean I’ve already dragged you into too much trouble as it is. I don’t want you to be stuck keeping more secrets again now.
SPAZZLE: Uh… yeah… About that…
Spazzle looks around uncomfortably, then stares at the floor for a moment.
<quietly> I’ve been talking to Vol’jin.
MOKVAR: You’ve… been…
SPAZZLE: A lot. For a few months now.
MOKVAR: Uh, Spaz, I know you’re a shaman and talk to ancestral spirits and all…
SPAZZLE: Well, in theory.
MOKVAR: Yeah, well, the point is, I didn’t realize that the spirits in question included trolls for you.
SPAZZLE: No, no, they don’t. I don’t mean I’m… Vol’jin’s alive.
MOKVAR: He— wha— how?
SPAZZLE: I actually blogged about this, you know.
MOKVAR: Yeah, sorry, that must have been during that period when I was sort of preoccupied with not being corpsecamped by spectral assassins.
SPAZZLE: Yeah, well. He’s alive. He’s recovering from injuries still in Pandaria, but he’s alive.
MOKVAR: Okay, so… Vol’jin’s alive, Jaina’s a warmonger, Garrosh has a half-draenei kid – what else did I miss? Is Utvoch dating Magatha? Did Alleria and Turalyon finally turn up? Did Grommash actually not drink the blood—
SPAZZLE: Well now you’re getting ridiculous.
MOKVAR: Well who knows at this point? How is Vol’jin alive? He survived the saurok attack after all?
SPAZZLE: It wasn’t a saurok attack. I mean, there were saurok, but… One of the Kor’kron tried to kill Vol’jin. Nearly did. He left him for dead, and Vol’jin’s had his supporters keeping up the lie that he is dead since then.
MOKVAR: Oh fel… And Garrosh…?
SPAZZLE: Doesn’t know. And he can’t find out.
MOKVAR: So… you mean he…?
SPAZZLE: Yeah.
MOKVAR: You’re sure? I don’t know why I’m even surprised, but… you’re sure?
SPAZZLE: The Kor’kron staged a takeover of the Echo Isles right after word of Vol’jin’s death broke.
MOKVAR: Spirits…
SPAZZLE: They had the place under military occupation until Thrall and a few others overthrew them.
MOKVAR: Does Garrosh know about this? I can’t imagine he does, otherwise – and I can’t believe I’m about to say this – I have to figure he would be in a much worse mood these days.
SPAZZLE: No, he doesn’t. Only a few people do.
MOKVAR: But how? I can see the Vol’jin thing being kept quiet, okay, but how could he not have found out about this?
SPAZZLE: There were still a few Kor’kron who trained under Saurfang, who are loyal to Thrall. Captain Gort, a few others… They’ve been reporting to Orgrimmar and maintaining the appearance that the occupation is still going on.
MOKVAR: Spaz… you have to know where this is heading.
SPAZZLE: <nods> I’ve been trying not to think about it.
MOKVAR: So you haven’t told Garrosh… Are you…?
SPAZZLE: <shakes his head> I haven’t been doing anything for them other than keeping quiet. I told Vol’jin before… I won’t work against him and Thrall, but I won’t betray Garrosh, either.
MOKVAR: You know if he finds out about this…
SPAZZLE: I know.
MOKVAR: Especially after… oh, man, Spaz, I’m sorry I dragged you into my whole mess. Both of you.
JI: You didn’t do anything. You’re a friend. You needed help. <shrugs> Anything else is just distraction.
SPAZZLE: Don’t worry about me, Mokvar. You’ve got enough on your plate as it is.
JI: <perking up> Wait, is there another plate?
SPAZZLE: Figuratively, Ji, figuratively…
VOICE: Well, there is…
A whooshing sound is heard, then, in the empty chair next to Mokvar, Deliana unstealths, holding a plate of what appears to be a few leftover bites of stew.
DELIANA: I had to move fast just to get a mouthful for myself before you inhaled it all.
Mokvar eyes a surprised Spazzle and Ji, then shrugs.
MOKVAR: What’s one more layer of compromise at this point, right?
SPAZZLE: Oh…man.
JI: Does Garrosh know she’s—?
MOKVAR: What do you think, Ji?
DELIANA: There aren’t exactly a lot of Alliance-looking types strolling around Orgrimmar unkilled.
JI: Well, that Shayari is a draenei…
DELIANA: Oh, don’t get me started on little miss fancy-hooves.
MOKVAR: You’re just mad because she turned you into a sheep.
DELIANA: Oh, good, annoy your security net. That’s a smart plan.
MOKVAR: I’m just saying.
SPAZZLE: So wait, how long have you been in Orgrimmar?
MOKVAR: Pretty much as long as I have.
DELIANA: I’ve had to sneak in and out a few times, but yeah.
SPAZZLE: What have you been doing?
DELIANA: Mostly giving Mokvar an extra set of eyes that no one knows is there. And some help on stand-by in case something goes bad.
MOKVAR: With everything that’s going on with the shamans, and Neeru, and… hell, I can’t even be sure Malkorok might not still try something at some point.
DELIANA: I can watch his back, and stealth around to check on things. And if nothing else, we know I don’t have anyone I have to answer to.
SPAZZLE: Yeah. You’re lucky that way.
Everyone sits quietly for a moment, looking back and forth between them.
MOKVAR: Well… whatever happens from here on, one way or another, I guess we’re all in it together now.
JI: Weren’t we always?
MOKVAR: You’re a good kid, Ji.
SPAZZLE: So… question is… what side are we on?
Mokvar looks back at Spazzle uneasily, then glances to Deliana. Spazzle exchanges looks with Mokvar and Ji, while Deliana leans forward against the table, drumming her fingers. Ji returns Spazzle’s glance, then turns to Mokvar and Deliana before looking back down at his plate. He considers the last bit of potato for a moment, then nudges the plate away from him and slumps back in his chair.
Mokvar
Raid night
So, everything that’s been going on has kept me fairly busy, but still, what with Gurtash still being a big question mark and there not being a whole lot I can do about it, what little down time I have has still been giving me a little too much time to think. So I figure this is a good time for me to get back online to distract myself for a little while…
You have logged on.
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] ok now get the pizza guy
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh dammit i blew a cooldown by mistake
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Welcome back, Warchief.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] its ok steve itll be back up before we’re at the boss
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] okay, all set
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Thanks
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] gil
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] yes, perhaps just soon enough before the boss for him to blow it again.
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] did relogging fix it?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Looks like it
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] gil!
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] which, surely, he would never do.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Get me back in group before I turn it on?
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] incoming
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wtf why am i still losing health
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you have food poisoning
[MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] has invited you to a raid group.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] from one of the taco guy mobs
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh
[Bartleby | Mokvar] has logged on.
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] there we go
You have joined a raid group.
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] oh hey, and there’s our tenth
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you need to clear your stacks
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] you can’t cure it?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, let me just see about the settings on this thing before I try doing anything else
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] i CAN
[Officer][Lorthemar] Well hello!
[Officer][Lorthemar] It seems like I haven’t seen you in ages, Bartleby.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hang on gil
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] let me know if you need any help with it
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey
[Bartleby | Mokvar] has joined the raid group.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi bart
[Guild][Lorthemar] Welcome!
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] wb mok
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Thanks
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Indeed, it’s good to see you again, Mokvar.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] but i only have so many charges of penicillin
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’ve got you
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Welcome back to the land of the living. Perhaps literally, from what I understand.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] so it would be easier if you could just watch your stacks yourself
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] crap what was that??
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Heh, yeah
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i lost like half my health!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh hey bart, wb
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey everyone
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] yea that was [Induced Vomiting]
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] it takes a bunch of health but now the poisons out of ur system
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, I’m glad that’s over with. Being dead isn’t something I would have wanted to make a regular thing of.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you know in my other guild we just let people die if they get avoidable stuff on them
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] thats harsh
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Sorry I’m late, by the way
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lol that would be funny
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh it’s not so bad at all if you know how to manage the situation to your advantage.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] that way they learn to stop doing it
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] shut up ut
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] not a big deal, we’re just re-clearing the food court
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I would have been happy to assist you in that regard, had it come to it.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] its not a big deal, no need to let him die
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lol
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i mean steve
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] steve
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, I think I’ve got this set
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Zoning back in now
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Heh, yeah, hopefully I won’t have any more reason to hold you to that.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] clearly the people in your -other- guild possess the capacity to learn.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] maybe no NEED really but it might just be fun anyway
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] What are you working on anyway, boss?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lol
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] 🙁
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has entered the raid instance {BLACK FRIDAY}
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] aww gil *hug*
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] installing LEA
[Officer][Lorthemar] He’s setting up an addon for the raid.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Ahh
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] 🙂
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ah, cool, you got raid warnings working
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] u should try to be careful tho
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, now let’s see…
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] if it’s any help, next time you see a food poisoning cloud, steer away from it and let me send one of my pets to get it
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh, yeah, those food poisoning debuffs are nasty
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i can send a vulture or maybe a raccoon
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}<<<~~RW::testing, testing
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] those helped a lot in my other guild
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] With any luck, this will help people be a little more…conscious of the goings-on in the encounter.
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] At least the ones from the food court mini-boss
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] o.O
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ya but then wont they get food poisoning and die?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, there we go
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] yea no kidding bart
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[**RAID GROUP COMPOSITION**]
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Raider Name]~~~~~~[Class]
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]~~Teacher
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Bartleby | Mokvar]~~~~~~~Chef~
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[GilbertRose | Dontrag]~~~~Cashier
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]~~~Lawyer
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Lorthemar]~~~~~~~~~~Hairdresser
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[MrBadCrumble | Spazzle]~~~Firefighter
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Nightengayle | Garona]~~~~Nurse
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[ProfHubert | Faranell]~~~~~Zookeeper
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Proudleslie | Jaina]~~~~~~Paramedic
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[SteveKravitz | Utvoch]~~~~Cashier[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] better the pet than you
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Looks like it’s working okay
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] not so sure about that lol
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] shut up steve
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::here we go, raid warnings up and running
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] cool
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] I watch that guy and I’m like, man, I wish *my* food poisoning hit that hard
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] ok guys
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] no, that’s the whole point of a scavenger. they have highly resilient digestive systems.
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] we’re clear here
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] no kidding, bart – i feel the same way about some of the self-heals these mobs have
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] let’s get moving to the dept. store entrance
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh okay
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, no kidding
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::HEY
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i wouldn’t want to get your pets killed
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] awww thats sweet of you worrying about the poor animals
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Makes me wish *I* could be a mini-boss
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::YOU HEARD HIM
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] yes, that is indeed touching.
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GET YOUR ASSES MOVING
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol yeah me too
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey, you know, I could get to like this thing
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] admittedly, the expression of compassion suffers somewhat from being directed toward a collection of pixels.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] what
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WHATS UUUP BITTTCCHHHEESSSS
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hoo boy
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] who’s doing that?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh dear.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol pwn has a new toy
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh yeah
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] um
[Guild][Lorthemar] That’s Omgipwnedurface.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Man, I wish I had something like this in real life
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i think maybe there was something wrong with my game
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well, there is.
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I think I might end up regretting this
[Officer][Lorthemar] You just couldn’t have done the raid warnings yourself, eh, Spazzle?
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] insofar as you’re the one playing it.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Trust me, boss, you do.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] um who else would be playing my game?
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I think he kinda wanted to do them himself…
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ut you idiot
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] might i suggest literally anyone?
[Officer][Lorthemar] Ugh, I can already tell it’s going to get old quickly.
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] okay
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i mean steve
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, people
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] i think we’re set
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We had a little trouble with this encounter last time, so I’m going to run through this real quick
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Now now, Regent-Lord, let is focus on the task at hand.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] i know the encounter so I’m going to afk real quick
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We start the encounter split in two groups
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh ok is gayle’s gonna afk imma make a quick bio
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And reserve petty infighting for its own time and place.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] HOLD IT
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::HOLD IT RIGHT THERE
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::NO FUCKING AFK’S
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::IF YOU HAVE TO GO, FUCKING HOLD IT
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::TILL LATER
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] shoulda kept a cup by you’re desk steve
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WE ARE NOT
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::REPEAT NOT
[Officer][Lorthemar] -sigh-
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] eww gross
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] lol
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::CAPITAL N CAPITAL O CAPITAL T
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GOING TO GET STARTED WITH THAT PANDAREN WATER TORTURE
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WHERE WE SPEND THE NIGHT BLEEDING TO DEATH
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::FROM THE SLOW DRIBBLE OF A THOUSAND CHAIN AFKS
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I must say, Warchief, this is an occasion when I can appreciate your more authoritarian approach.
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GODDAMMIT
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok ok sorry
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok back
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I know, right?
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] so are we doing a break now or not?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i thought we weren’t
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Putting out some food
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::AS I WAS SAYING
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Come buff up while we get set.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Steve and Gilbert are going to take the registers and handle the waves of shoppers
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ty bart
[Guild][Lorthemar] Thank you, Bartleby.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Healers will stay in the middle so they can keep an eye on both groups
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The rest of us will be clearing inventory in the stock room
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] bartleby, you should try to stay near the healers too
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] try to send some extra buffs to whichever group needs it
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You guys on the registers need to check out the shoppers as they come in
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You need to keep up with the pace they’re coming in, but not go too fast
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] If you check out too many too fast, the next waves spawn faster and eventually we’re going to get overrun
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If they end up spawning too many, I can go over and pick some up as well.
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] you guys at the registers
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So you want to check them out slowly
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And by slowly I mean FUCKING SLOW
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Not an ideal solution, but I can do what I can, then use my [Restraining Order] to drop aggro.
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] try to use as many credit charges as you can
[Officer][Lorthemar] Good idea.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] payments over time help balance out the pacing a lot
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ok got it
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] I’ll admit, having those two doing a key job doesn’t exactly make me bubble over with confidence.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Once we fill out the sales quota for phase 1, that’ll spawn the boss
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] i know
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] There’s no aggro reset so you need to get the fuck out of the way once Bridezilla spawns
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] and the bridesmaid adds
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] True, but they’d be in no less of a position to derail the attempt in the stock room.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] and let BadCrumble pick them up
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Don’t get close to the fitting rooms
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, true.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Burn down the two bridesmaids LDG marks, then everyone on the boss
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If we can handle the phase transition well, we should be fine.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s been out biggest difficulty.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] manage trash waves, burn boss, profit
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] got it!
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Everybody good then?
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yes sir
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] looks like it
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] go go go!
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay then
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Here we go
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[Encounter Initiated:BRIDEZILLA]]
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Everyone to your places
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I have the left side of the stock room covered.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok I have everyone in range
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I’m good on the right side
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Wave 1]]
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’ve got the whole inventory group covered
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] incoming
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] except lor
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok gil can you try not to get too far from the register
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] your getting out of range
[Guild][Lorthemar] I need to be this close to be in melee range.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ok
[Guild][Lorthemar] I’ll back up to get in range if I start getting hit.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, so far so good
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] A little extra focus on this side, Professor?
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] stock room clearing out fine so far
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] keep it going
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We can probably afford to clear the shoppers a little faster
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] could you use a hyena or an ocelot?
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] yeah
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ocelot, please.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] gil you need to stay in range
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Wave 2]]
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] on it.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok thats better
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] we’re good over here
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good, they’re evening out now.
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Heals going okay?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] if gil can keep in range yea
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i can reach him gayle
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] I’ll put out some carrots
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Shoppers?
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] [Sharp Eyesight] for your range.
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] actually
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] we’re getting behind
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Which wave are we on?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] 2
[Guild][Lorthemar] Two
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] should i send a pet out to help?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] 2
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Pick it up, guys
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s not good.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I didn’t mean THAT slow
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Wave 3]]
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We should be on
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] well there we go.
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] did we clear wave 2?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] no
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What are you guys doing up there?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ugh
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] trying sir
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You guys need to get more payments over time rolling on all of them
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] bart can you buff them up
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] What do we need, coffee for haste or spinach for might?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Both, if you can.
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Okay, but I’ll have to blow my [Smorgasbord]
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] do it
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] More PoTs
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] having it later won’t matter if we don’t get there
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] More PoTs
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Done
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That should help.
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Channeling {Customer Dissatisfaction}]]
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, braintrust, now you should
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] INTERRUPT THAT
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] oh fuck
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugh
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] too late
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh crap
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We have a manager incoming
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] on my way
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Where at?
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] can you cover this here lor
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Querulous Manager Spawned]
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] register 4
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] ok
[Guild][Lorthemar] I’ll do the best I can.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] ugh
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::BadCrumble to register 4
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::ProfHubert to register 4
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::SteveKravitz to register 4
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] picking him up
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] ok
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::Bartleby to register 4
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::whatever the fuck you do
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] no guys
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::DON’T STAND CLOSE TO OTHER PEOPLE
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] crap
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] spread
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] spread
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Querulous Manager Casting {Frightful Admonition}]]
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Crap
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] damn i’m feared
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Can someone clear him?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] he’s out of range
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] shoppers loose
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m coming out
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] grabbing them up the best I can
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh dear
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] crap
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] He got feared into the dressing room…
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh dammit.
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Frantic Bridesmaids Spawning]]
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugghhhhh
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] WE’VE GOT BRIDESMAIDS
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] got some on me
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] summoning my honey badger.
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::MANY BRIDESMAIDS
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] dammit i’m down
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] putting it on some of the bridesmaids.
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::HANDLE IT
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We can’t be shorthanded now
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] getting him up
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] you sure prof?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] CLEAR
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[Proudleslie | Jaina] Casts: {Defibrillator} on [GilbertRose | Dontrag]
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Not the first time she’s said that, am I right?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] they hit pretty hard
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] watch
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] whew ok
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] maybe not the time, chief
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh wow yea
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] honey badger doesnt give a fuck
[Officer][Lorthemar] -snicker-
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] More heals on MBC
[Guild][Lorthemar] We’ve got bridesmaids back in the storeroom now
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::FUUUCCCCKKKKK
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lot of adds loose still
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] trying
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Kind of hard for him to get them all when jackasses spawn too many
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] we’ve got a lot of damage coming in
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] bah, I’m dead.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] yet again.
[Guild][Lorthemar] I’m down, too.
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I’ve got a bad feeling about this
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ugh i’m dead
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] second time
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] amatuer.
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] focus the manager, maybe if we can get him out of the way
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::everyone on manager
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::NO AOE, FOCUS FIRE
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] well so much for that
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] i’m down
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] aaaaaand i have some friends
[Bob] has logged on.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] my defib’s on cooldown =(
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It doesn’t much matter at this point.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] dead
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] UGGGHH
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] just wipe it
[Guild][Lorthemar] Yeah.
[Officer][Lorthemar] I knew it was going to be trouble relying on them for that job…
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] yeah
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OK
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] SO
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] problem is they’re way more suited for shoppers than anything else
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::SO
[Officer][Lorthemar] I know…
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[Encounter Ended:BRIDEZILLA (100%)]]
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WHAT
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::THE FUCK
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WAS THAT SHIT
[Guild][Bob] ’ey, you get ’em, mon? link da loot!
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I can revive. Don’t release.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I MEAN SERIOUSLY
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] no bobby =(
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] HOW WAS THAT EVEN REMOTELY FUCKING POSSIBLE
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i know, that was rough
[Guild][Bob] ahhh dat sucks, mon
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] you know, the worst part is it was actually going pretty well there
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] what happened
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] until it started coming apart
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[[[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Casting {Death and Taxes}]]
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hang on
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hang on
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] why yes, everything was going just swimmingly until suddenly everyone was dead.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You two
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Gil and Steve
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Ugh dammit Gil get over here so you don’t accidentally start the encounter again
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no i’m steve
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I DON’T FUCKING CARE WHICH ONE YOU ARE
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We may need to come up with a creative way around this phase.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Look, you two
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We put you
[Officer][Lorthemar] Hopefully “creative” in a non-hacking, non-exploit sort of way, yes?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] on fucking CASHIER duty
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] right
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yes sir
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, Regent-Lord, you’re so charmingly boy scoutish.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So hang on
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But fine.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Look at this.
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[**RAID GROUP COMPOSITION**]
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Raider Name]~~~~~~[Class]
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]~~Teacher
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Bartleby | Mokvar]~~~~~~~Chef~
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[GilbertRose | Dontrag]~~~~Cashier
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]~~~Lawyer
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Lorthemar]~~~~~~~~~~Hairdresser
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[MrBadCrumble | Spazzle]~~~Firefighter
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Nightengayle | Garona]~~~~Nurse
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[ProfHubert | Faranell]~~~~~Zookeeper
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Proudleslie | Jaina]~~~~~~Paramedic
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[SteveKravitz | Utvoch]~~~~Cashier[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] um ok
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] YOU HAD ONE FUCKING JOB
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] IT’S THE ENTIRE REASON YOUR FUCKING CLASS EVEN EXISTS
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] HOW
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] HOW
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] also, FUCKING HOW????
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I have a thought. What about this.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] how what sir?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] ljksdhfglishpg9tj78w945e3fyhvwol384t6y7holsighd
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] It would have to be an improvement over what we’re doing, really…
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] sorry sir
[Guild][Lorthemar] I really just don’t understand.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We’re not managing the shoppers in the first phase well enough.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Granted, I wasn’t out there.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] So let’s bypass them.
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] how?
[Guild][Lorthemar] But how could you have gotten that far behind on shoppers?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Let’s zerg phase one.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] um i dont know
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What’s “zerg”?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Were you even using any of your abilities at all?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i think so
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Nothing, really.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I just made up the word. I just thought it sounded good.
[Guild][Lorthemar] You…think so?
[Guild][Lorthemar] …
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well what does it mean?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It means we all swarm the adds in the first phase.
[Guild][Lorthemar] How do you not know if you were even USING your abilities?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] All in a big, overpowering mass.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] try not to get upset lor
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i dont know
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Rather like felhounds, come to think of it.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i’m clicking on buttons and stuff
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Well the thing is, though, the faster we take the first adds, the faster more will spawn.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Do you know what they DO?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] i have a cashier alt in my other guild
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] If we try to power through them, we’ll be swimming in them.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] maybe i can try to explain this to you guys?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] how do you know?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] True.
[Guild][Lorthemar] How do…
[Guild][Lorthemar] …
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But we’re swimming in them anyway.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh wow that would be really nice gayle
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok i can try
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] This way, at least, we can all be focused on powering through the checkouts.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Blazes…
[Guild][Lorthemar] They should not be at the raiding stage and still need someone to explain what their abilities do!
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And once we spawn the boss, we won’t have any more shoppers spawning.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lor dont get so upset
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lor I agree but we are where we are
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] It’s actually not a bad idea.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] It’s risky, but yeah, if it works…
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] would you prefer no one help them and they keep making mistakes?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hey, why are all the officers so quiet?
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Maybe if we blow all our cooldowns and buffs right off the top.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] My thinking exactly.
[Guild][Lorthemar] I would prefer to have guildmates who knew what they were doing!
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Spazz, what do you think? Number crunch real quick?
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] hey look lorthemar
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] uhh yea…
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] they’re talking in officer chat.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] we’re doing the best we can okay
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] about what?
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I’m coming up with a 32.33% chance of survival
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] repeating
[Guild][Lorthemar] Actually not okay, but still.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Of course
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] and its pretty lousy for you to be getting all nasty about it
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] like considering
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] probably about how much you fail.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well, that’s a lot better than we’re doing right now
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh 🙁
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh? Considering?
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i mean come on man, you only just joined the guild
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Agreed, Warchief.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ya wasnt it just a couple weeks ago?
[Guild][Lorthemar] …
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] we hardly even know you and you’re gonna be talking crap about people?
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well i can’t see any way at all that this won’t end well.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay
[Guild][Lorthemar] ………
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] actually i think he joined like a month or so after i did
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’ll spell it out to these clowns
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] but ya man who are you to be coming down on everyone
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::Okay, listen up
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh SCREW THIS
[Guild][Lorthemar] I’m
[Guild][Lorthemar] LOR’THEMAAAAARRRRRR
[Guild][Lorthemar] THERONNNNNNNN
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[Encounter Initiated:BRIDEZILLA]]
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] whats going on
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] oh crap
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] He started the encounter!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] dammit lor’themar
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Wave 1]]
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] omg
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GO GO GO GO GO
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ugh this repair bill is gonna suck
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GET IN THERE
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] ugh
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] picking up as much as I can
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Frantic Bridesmaids Spawning]]
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] and the wheel turns again.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] dammit lor’themar!
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] well damn that was fast
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Well, now we know I can tank really well
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] just extremely briefly.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh fucking hell
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] -sigh-
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugh my defib is still down
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Regent-Lord…
[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I don’t think it’s really going to matter, leslie
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] down.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] me too
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[Encounter Ended:BRIDEZILLA (100%)]]
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Dammit Lori
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you idiot, lor’themar
[Guild][Lorthemar] At least I have roasted quail.
[Lorthemar] has logged off.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Ugh
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I am not looking forward to the email that will surely be coming this afternoon.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay people
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] This clearly isn’t going to work tonight
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Let’s call it a night and try to start fresh next week
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ok pwn
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea probably just as well
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m gonna log. Maybe Ben-Lin’s got some free time
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] sorry sir, i’ll try to do better
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Of course, sir.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’ll try to help puffy finish leveling too
[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] later, chief
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] maybe he can help a little
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well, we know he’s magical.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] You know, if we need someone to swap in next time, I might know someone.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] right?
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] does that include miracles?
You have logged off.
Yeah, so. I’ll write more later, after go find Ben-Lin. And beer. Lots of beer. Not necessarily in that order.
More soon.
The Horde is family (part 3)
Picking up where we left off last time…
* Ariok started asking Spazzle about his father, Eitrigg (who’s been more and more on the outs with Garrosh lately, such as here), before Mokvar turned up and…you know…started telling his life story.
* After Ji took off in search for Mokvar against Garrosh’s objections, Spazzle had this conversation with Vol’jin here.
NEXT: WAKE-UP CALL
Spazzle Speaks: Family Ties
You have logged on.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s what I told him, but I think we may just have to humor him for the time being.
[Officer][Lorthemar] Once we finish our work on the animus golem here, we should be able to augment our resources.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] thanks!
[Officer][Lorthemar] Oh, hello, Spazzle.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You -do- seem to have been spending a lot of time on that of late.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good evening, Spazzle.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] np
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey guys
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Hey, mon.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] anyway hate to craft and run but i need to log for now
[Officer][Lorthemar] Well I suspect it’s going to yield some very useful results, once Aethas gets done with it.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: hey
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: how are you feeling?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] later leslie
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i have some magic research to go work on
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] how’s everyone doing?
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Better, mon.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You’ll have to keep me posted of your progress.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I jus’ got one ting I got to do here in Pandaria, den I be ready to come back to Durotar.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] too bad prof’s not on, he could probably help you
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Start workin’ on cleanin’ up da mess dere.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol oh dont get me started with him again
[Officer][Lorthemar] Oh, speaking of which, it looks like Jaina is doing some magic research herself.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: that’s good, I’m glad you’re almost recovered
[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged on.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Something of a quiet night tonight, Spazzle.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: What about you, mon? I haven’t heard much from ya in a while.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh hey there he is
[Officer][Lorthemar] Now I just have to see…
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: eh, it’s just been kinda crazy here
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] omg i’m leaving so dont try to get him started
[Guild][Lorthemar] What kind of research, Leslie?
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I bet, mon.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: i’m in the burning steppes with garrosh
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: looking for ji
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] started on what?
[Guild][Lorthemar] I’ve been working with a number of mages myself of late.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: we just landed in flame crest a little while ago
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ah, well it’s good to see him logging on, I suppose.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] leslie’s doing some kind of magic research
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ya talk to Ariok dere, mon?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] who, faranell? why’s that?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh its actually really cool lor
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m actually not entirely clear on the details, Spazzle.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] One moment.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: no, he’s not here, that’s the thing
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well that should be…adequate.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh? How so?
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: vahgruk says ji came here a couple days ago
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: i guess ariok went with him to blackrock spire to look for clues about mokvar
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Yes, Leslie, this sounds interesting indeed. What are you working on, pray tell?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok my dungeon queue just popped, probably going to be quiet for a few
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] omg prof geez
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Might be some fireworks is ya find ’em, mon. Ariok ain’t no fan o’ da Warchief.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Evidently there was some sort of calamity at the Apothecarium earlier.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: yeah, so I hear
[Officer][Lorthemar] I must admit, if it weren’t necessary for us to be discreet about who we are, I would love to lord our animus research over her.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] what kind of calamity?
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Matter of fact, mon –
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ariok heard how Garrosh been treatin’ Eitrigg, he might take care of our ‘Warchief’ problems himself.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] well
[Officer][Lorthemar] You know she would burn up with jealousy if she knew what we have on our hands.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I’m not going to… I don’t even know what you’re suggesting, but I’m not going to
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m not sure; the good doctor has been rather secretive the last few days.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] not to brag but
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] we drained the power of the thunder king into a staff!
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I know ya don’ wanna hear it, mon, but da sooner we do somethin’ ’bout Garrosh, da easier it gonna be for all of us.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Though I’m not likely to complain – whatever is going on down there has prompted Bragor Bloodfist to spend much of his time in the Apothecarium as well, which means less time with him hovering around me.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh wouldn’t help Ji.
[Officer][Lorthemar] …
[Officer][Lorthemar] klsjdhfgkjshgdfskjhgfkjsdfgkjhsgfd
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ariok is.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I understand why.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] huh, okay
[Officer][Lorthemar] she
[Officer][Lorthemar] she drained the power… of…
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ariok see Ji, an’ all he know is he’s Horde, and he need help, and he gonna give it to ’im.
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: hey
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh, he don’ see tings dat way.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] anyway!
[Officer][Lorthemar] 9oqwuolieyurgt;poayhgbihgbolugf
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i need to run!
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh don’t see nothin’ but power an’ vengeance, mon.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: He don’t see da Horde like Ariok, or me. Or you.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] A propos of nothing, Lor’themar, you strike me as someone who might know a thing or two about fine dining. Would you happen to know what type of wine goes best with crow?
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: well hello, person who’s never talked to me before but now takes a sudden inexplicable interest.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] see everyone soon!
[Proudleslie | Jaina] has logged off.
[SteveKravitz | Utvoch] has logged on.
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: um, yeah, sorry
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Da way I see it, da Horde is family.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good evening, Dontrag.
[Officer][Lorthemar] I… just… she… HOW?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Interesting.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Da world knock us down, family pick each other back up again.
[Officer][Lorthemar] What?!
[Officer][Lorthemar] HOW?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] hey
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Three excellent questions, Regent-Lord.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh, he don’t see family.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Don’t understand it.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Never had one.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] but i’m utvoch
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, is that your alias, then?
[Officer][Lorthemar] I think I need to go lie down.
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: I just heard about the… whatever, down in the apothecarium
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lol what?
[Officer][Lorthemar] This is not good for my rage.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: you never met lakkara, did you?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well, it’s a curious thing, Dontrag.
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: is everything okay?
[Lorthemar] has logged off.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Who dat, mon?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Just now, Jaina Proudmoore logged off. And a few seconds later, you logged on.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or should I say, you logged -back- on.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yeah i logged back in, haven’t gotten to play in a couple days
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: i’ll manage.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: never mind
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh come now, Dontrag.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or whoever you really are.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: anyway, we’ve been over this before
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] that would be utvoch
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] So you would have us believe.
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: what about shay? is she okay?
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I ain’t gonna keep on ya, mon.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Do you really think we wouldn’t put two and two together?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] well no, two and two is pretty easy math
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And yet far greater than the calculus of your deception would presume us capable of!
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] um what?
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispers: Ya a good mon, Spazzle. I know ya don’ wanna turn on someone ya tink is a friend.
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispers: i’m sure shayari is wonderful, wherever she is.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispers: Ya be loyal. Dat’s a good ting.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] How long have you been Jaina Proudmoore, Dontrag?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] dontrag’s not even here
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh no? Then to whom am I speaking? Are you -still- Jaina Proudmoore?
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: wait
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Nay, have you in fact been Jaina Proudmoore lo this entire time in the guild?
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Time gonna come, though, ya gonna have ta decide how long ya gonna be loyal ta Garrosh, when he ain’t loyal ta us.
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: wait
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: what???
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no i mean dontrag is over in the valley of honor visiting his nephew ug’thok
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] he should be on soon though
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: where is she??
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh come now, Dontrag, don’t insult our intelligence.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] why would i do that
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If you’re going to make up a cover story, at least keep your lies straight.
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: that’s the 5000g question, now isn’t it?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We all know Utvoch isn’t your nephew.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] what
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no no not utvoch, ug’thok
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: what happened??
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Don’t try to hide behind an obvious typographical error, Dontrag.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i’m utvoch
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or are you Ug’thok?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or perhaps Ig’thak?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or Jig’nak?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or – as the trail grows clearer – JAINA!
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: well, she was settling in well enough, and we were starting to go over a few lessons.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i’m confused
[GilbertRose | Dontrag] has logged on.
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: she seemed to be taking more of an interest in azerothian geography, but i figured she was curious about the lay of the land in her new home, so i ran through an overview for her.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, and here’s your alleged nephew.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or might it be Kalecgos? All bets are off at this point.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] um, whats going on?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] who’s kalecgos?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] WHO INDEED!
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: and evidently, she spotted a vacation destination that looked too good to pass up, because off she went.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] what the hell?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But one thing at a time!
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We were just discussing, Utvoch, how your uncle, heretofore known by his alias of “Dontrag,” has at last been exposed!
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: you can’t be serious
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] dammit ut what did you do
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i swear i just logged on
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: you let her run away?!
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] As his true identity, Jaina Proudmoore!
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] and said where you were
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wait, what about jaina?
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: i didn’t LET her do anything.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] The woman who has incurred the rightful wrath of the Horde!
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] isn’t that the lady that was in all those tabloids with thrall?
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: as the swollen purple region on my head will readily attest.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ruthlessly persecuted our citizens in Dalaran!
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Indeed! Sullied the good name of a beloved Warchief!
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ok but what about her?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Don’t act like you don’t know, Ug’thok.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If that -is- your real name.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wait, ug’thok is my nephew
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] that’s what i tried to tell her
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: incidentally, i’ll be sending garrosh the bill for the repairs to my jaw.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] No, Ug’thok is -Dontrag’s- nephew.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] right but i’m dontrag
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: it was brand new, too.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] and i’m utvoch
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: typical.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Now don’t be ridiculous, the both of you.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Why, if -you- were Utvoch, Dontrag, then that would mean that you are also Dontrag’s nephew.
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: man seriously
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] no that’s ug’thok not utvoch
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And clearly you could not be his nephew.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] right because we’re not related
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: you have GOT to find her
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Because JAINA PROUDMOORE IS NO ONE’S NEPHEW!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok you know, i’ve been out of my dungeon for a while, but i’m just sitting here in awe, BQ
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: capital idea. how do you suggest i do that?
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] um
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] …
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: I… I don’t know, can’t you home in on her or something?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i’m really confused
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It therefore stands to reason, Dontrag, that since you are Jaina, and as such cannot be Utvoch, it must therefore be Dontrag who is Utvoch, and therefore your nephew.
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: this isn’t some sci-fi/fantasy novel, i can’t just wave a magic wand.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] my eyes are starting to hurt
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: well i can. but you know what i mean.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] but how can he be my nephew, i’m an only child
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: dude really
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: that time I lost a BOOK garrosh loaned me, he beat me till I was green and brown
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] SEE? And the tangled web of your would-be deception comes further unraveled!
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: aren’t you always green and brown?
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: a DARKER SHADE – goblins bruise differently, ok??
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i think i need some grog
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: the point is, that was just a book – you lost his DAUGHTER, man!
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yea me to
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] are you having fun?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Perhaps you can conjure some, Jaina.
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: ugh I need to go
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: you need to get on this, really
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] um
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Does it show? ^_^
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] whatever
[SteveKravitz | Utvoch] has logged off.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i guess we’ll be back later.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I need to take off – see you later
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m glad we cleared all this up.
[GilbertRose | Dontrag] has logged off.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Take care, Spazzle.
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Dark Lady, I jus’ gotta say, dat was beautiful.
You have logged off.
[Addendum! Remember, we have our next Meta Raid coming up this Saturday at 8:00 PM EDT. Just as a logistical matter, I’d appreciate it if anyone who thinks they’re likely to attend would let me know, whether it be through a comment, an e-mail, a message on Twitter, or what-have-you. Looking forward to “seeing” many of you over the weekend!]
30 Days of Character Development #1: Spazzle
[A few weeks ago, Rades and Vidyala over at From Draenor With Love came up with a pretty neat use of the “30 Days of Character Development” meme that’s been floating around. Rades and Vid answered a selection of the questions, in character, in a pair of posts that offered a look at their Azerothian namesakes.
I loved this idea, and so, with a grateful nod and salute to Rades and Vid, I’m going to kick off my own variation. My take is going to be spread the original 30 days over 30 weeks, with one post per week. Each post will highlight one of the supporting (or not-so-supporting) characters in the blog. I’ll include a selection of the original 30 questions, answered, a la R&V, in character, plus an assortment of additional information. Those among you who, like me, grew up poring over comic book compendia like the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe may see a definite influence.
In the process, I think I may be able to give a few entertaining tidbits on some familiar faces, provide new readers (and old) an additional shortcut for getting a sense of who’s who, and also compile a sort of “blog bible” of character information (something I’ve been wanting to get around to for a while, for my own reference).
Every week (I hope!), you can expect to see one of these profiles. While it’s possible that they may end up with a set day, I don’t plan to lock it in quite so tightly; much more likely, I’ll use the profiles to fill out the week’s posts without (hopefully) breaking up the main continuity too much. Feel free to chime in with whom you’d like to see featured! (Yes, Repgrind, I know. We’ll get to Faranell eventually, I promise.)]
Name: Spazzle Fizzletrinket
Occupation: Tech consultant to the Warchief, part-time blogger, Earth Online guild leader
Race: Goblin
Class: Shaman (enhancement)
Age: 27
Group affiliations: Horde (citizen), Bilgewater Cartel (member), Fizzletrinket Technologies (a tech startup that, admittedly, hasn’t been particularly active since the development of the TranslationMaster2000; owner)
Known relatives: Khizzara Whizzingcrank (cousin and blogger namesake)
Earth Online notes: Current guild leader of <Warchief>, appointed by Garrosh while the Warchief is stuck with an unreliable wireless connection in Pandaria. Also administers <Warchief> guild web site. Main toon MrBadCrumble (class unknown). Had attended three straight EarthCons until missing this past year’s, due to being too busy freaking out over one of his friends being killed (this one didn’t take), charged with treason, banished from the Horde, and killed again (this one evidently did).
First appearance: “LOK’TAR OGAR!” (first mention); “Spazzle Speaks” (first guest post)
Key posts and plot points:
- Spazzle first introduced Garrosh to online gaming in “Earth Online”, set him up with a wireless network (which Garrosh historically calls “why fly”) in Grommash Hold in “Doing some gaming…”, and brought him along for a trip to EarthCon (at which Genesis Entertainment revealed their plans for the “Land Down Under” expansion) in “EarthCon.”
- After Garrosh created the Earth Online guild <Warchief>, Spazzle set him up with an addon to save a record of guild chat in “Welcome to [Warchief]”, the blog’s first guild chat log.
- In “Spazzle Speaks: Shamans United!”, Spazzle encounters Thrall on the way to the Echo Isles, where they discover the Kor’kron occupation. After the Echo Isles are freed, Spazzle maintained secret contact with Thrall and Vol’jin, as revealed in “Spazzle Speaks: The Gobin is Always Greener on the Other Side of Guild Chat” and “Spazzle Speaks: Tours of Duty.”
- After being banished from the Horde, but before disappearing to locations unknown, Mokvar met with Spazzle in “Spazzle Speaks: Parting Gifts” to entrust him with custody of his recall totem, a shaman relic connected to the Astral Recall spell. While Spazzle was holding the totem, its elemental energy fizzled out – something that would normally only occur as a result of a shaman’s permanent death. This development is first covered in “The Goblin is Always Greener” and further explored in “Spazzle Speaks: Dead End.”
- As shown in several of the guild chat logs, Spazzle has become one of Ji Firepaw’s closest friends in the Horde since the disappearance of Mokvar.
In his own words:
Describe your relationship with your mother or your father, or both. Was it good? Bad? Were you spoiled rotten, ignored? Do you still get along now, or no?
My father and uncle both died when I was little, in a freak giant-rampaging-robot-gorilla accident. I won’t bore you with the details, we all know how those go. My mom and aunt split a two-family duplex-in-a-box and raised me and my cousin Khizzara together. We weren’t rich, but we weren’t exactly hurting for money after the robot gorilla settlement. So I guess Zzara and I got pretty accustomed to getting the toys we wanted. Maybe spoiled, a little? I didn’t really learn to be too independent until I had to. Mom didn’t make it out of Kezan when the Cataclysm hit.
Who do you trust?
Khizzara – she’s more like a sister to me than a cousin. Mokvar, despite everything. Ji. Thrall. I trust Garrosh and Vol’jin both, in their way, but I think they both have some serious blinders on.
Can you define a turning point in your life? Multiples are acceptable.
Definitely the Cataclysm. I lost my mom, as well as my home back on Kezan. It led to me meeting Thrall, becoming a (fairly crappy) shaman, joining the Horde. And then of course there’s everything that’s come with moving to Orgrimmar and starting to work for Garrosh. So it’s really easy to divide my life into two periods, B.C. (Before Cataclysm) and A.D. (After Deathwing).
How are you with technology? Super savvy, or way behind the times? Letters or e-mail?
Oh man! I’m all about the newest tech. Some days I’ll burn up a whole afternoon, just tinkering around, trying to come up with my own advances. They…usually don’t go completely to spec, but still! I’m generally a lot better with electronics than with machinery – if you’re building a robot, I’m totally the guy to design its brain, but you probably shouldn’t come to me first if you need to install a new arm. E-mail, definitely. My handwriting is pretty terrible because I type so much more than I write by hand.
What’s your desk/workspace look like? Are you neat or messy?
Organized chaos. It looks like a giant mess, with piles of stuff on top of piles of other stuff, but I know what’s in all of the piles.
What would your cutie mark be?
Um… Am I supposed to know what that means?
What’s your favorite comfort food, favorite vice, favorite outfit, favorite hot drink, favorite time of year, and favorite holiday?
The pandaren have these noodles that are really great comfort food, plus they only cost…like…five copper a pack. I don’t know how they turn a profit on them. Favorite vice is probably…I don’t know…wasting waaaaaaaay too much time screwing around on the internet. There isn’t one outfit that I like best, but I’m pretty fond of a bunch of the t-shirts I have. Earl grey tea. Autumn, right when the leaves are starting to turn. Hallow’s End.
If your life were a genre, what would it be?
Definitely a comic book. And that’s even before you figure in the Gurtash factor.
[One last OOC note: The sharp-eyed among you may have noticed that the comic panel excerpted above (featuring Spazzle with Garrosh and Liadrin) doesn’t look familiar. Consider it a preview — Gurtash strikes again in another day or two!]
Cheat Sheet
As promised in my last post, here’s an overview of the state of the blog. I realize that after two years of accumulated in-jokes and storylines, the Command Board may be a bit disorienting to a newcomer (or, for that matter, to a long-time reader who blinked at the wrong time), so I’ve tried to break this down into a semi-sorta-kinda FAQ. Most of this will be familiar to long-time readers (though I’ve also included a few behind-the-scenes notes that some of you might find interesting), but I hope it’ll explain a few things for new arrivals.
I hate Garrosh! Why does Garrosh seem so sympathetic in this blog? Are you one of those Garrosh apologists/fanboys?
Comically enough, I originally started the blog because I really didn’t like Garrosh either, and saw the blog as a way to have a few chuckles mocking him. It wasn’t long, though, before I decided that I would get sick of the outright-mockery approach pretty quickly, so I started branching out. Part of the result was letting blog-Garrosh become (I hope) a bit more multifaceted, while still remaining true to his temperamental self. Including the LOLs.
Ultimately, I don’t set out to justify anything Garrosh does, just to present it in a way that makes sense in light of the character, and if that pushes a black-and-white scenario into some shade of gray, well, that makes for a more interesting story anyway. And, keep in mind, the story here is being told, generally, from Garrosh’s point of view, so I don’t know how that perspective wouldn’t be sympathetic. Everyone is the hero of their own story, after all, and nobody thinks they’re a bad person.
Why isn’t there anything here about the siege of Orgrimmar?
What are you talking about? There was a post titled “The siege of Orgrimmar” a good solid year ago – if anything, shouldn’t you be asking why Blizzard is coming so late to the party? (By the way, I didn’t realize until just now that patch 5.4 was released almost exactly on the one-year anniversary of the “Siege or Orgrimmar” post. How awesomely freaky is that?)
Anyway, to give a real answer: Time-wise, the blog has not yet reached the events of patch 5.4. The storyline is currently playing out the midst of 5.2; Lor’themar Theron and Jaina Proudmoore have recently set up shop on the Isle of Thunder, while Vol’jin is still recovering from his injuries at Shado-Pan Monastery.
This time lag between the game and the blog, by the way, is partly by design. I’d always intended the blog to run a bit behind the game; coming into MoP, I realized that if I tried to follow in-game events too closely, I wouldn’t have time to adapt my own ideas to fit Blizzard’s story. There have already been a few instances in which Blizzard’s story has taken a turn that’s forced me to change gears in a way that would have been disastrous if I didn’t have a month or two of lead time. Of course, I’m clearly more than a month or two behind – that’s been a result of various real-life circumstances slowing down my output over the last few months. I’m working on it!
So the blog basically retells in-game events, from Garrosh’s point of view?
Yes and no. The blog operates within Blizzard’s continuity (with the aforementioned time delay), but also weaves additional storylines in and around the canonical Blizzard plots. Anything that happens or is stated explicitly in-game is canon, obviously, and the blog is bound by it.* That said, I sometimes like to put other stories around Blizzard’s, to give them context that might change the way those events are perceived. (This was a large part of my motivation for the Timequake story leading into Theramore, or, more recently, the blog events surrounding the Divine Bell / Domination Offensive storyline.)
Also, while the point of view is mostly Garrosh’s, there are some posts that present events from other perspectives. Most notable are the “guest” posts by Spazzle (Garrosh’s tech goblin), which help fill in story details that Garrosh wouldn’t necessarily be privy to. You can always identify a post written by someone other than Garrosh by the color of the text – Spazzle’s posts, for instance, are always written in green text, and almost always include the phrase “Spazzle Speaks” in the title. Also, as a rule of thumb, when Spazzle et al post, Garrosh remains oblivious to anything that might be revealed; the conceit at work here is that Garrosh doesn’t really care what anyone else is writing, so he doesn’t bother reading it.
* The one instance that I’ve flat-out fudged in-game details is the way I’ve chosen to incorporate the events of “A Little Patience.” From the Alliance point of view, that scenario takes place almost immediately after Varian arrives in Pandaria; in the blog, I’ve pushed those events a bit later in the story. This was largely a matter of convenience: I knew that I wanted there to be a military operation in Krasarang in which Garrosh’s trainees went missing, and I realized fairly late in the going that “A Little Patience” lent itself to that story pretty readily. Hopefully those Alliance-side readers out there will be willing to turn a blind eye to my blatant and shameless revision. (Horde bias rears its ugly head again! GRR!)
Garrosh has trainees? When did that happen?
Right here! As part of the escalation of the war effort, the Kor’kron started a training program to prepare orc teenagers for eventual military service. When Garrosh learned that Gurtash – an orc boy from the Orgrimmar orphanage whom Garrosh had taken under his wing – had been conscripted, Garrosh volunteered to take Gurtash’s trainee group under his own supervision. (Side note: In my head-canon, Garrosh has a bit of a soft spot for the orphans, being as he is one himself.) The trainees, who have nicknamed themselves the Dead Peons Society (DPS for short) have accompanied Garrosh to Pandaria and joined him on a few adventures. Fairly recently, they went missing after the Horde loss in the “A Little Patience” scenario, and were eventually found by Garrosh, hiding away in an underground system of caves. That’s brought us up to the point where we are now, story-wise: Garrosh and the trainees underground, looking for a way out.
Is the entire supporting cast from within the game?
Mostly, but not entirely. I’ve invented a few characters for the blog – Spazzle being the highest-profile – but I’ve tried to keep it limited, and tried to restrict those characters to fairly peripheral positions in the lore. The one glaring exception was the storyline involving Garrosh’s mother, Lakkara, who isn’t mentioned anywhere in the actual lore. It just struck me as odd that there’s no record of who she was, or what happened to her, and besides, in a mythology packed to capacity with father/son relationships, I thought it was about time somebody’s mom got a little screen time.
Otherwise, when a character turns up who doesn’t exist in-game, that character was often inspired by a reader and/or based on someone’s game character. For instance, both Gurtash and Mortimer (Garrosh’s personal wyvern) became blog characters thanks to mailbag letters from Khizzara from Blog of the Treant; Khizzara’s own namesake has made a few appearances as Spazzle’s cousin; doodle-prone kitty druid Taktani became a full-fledged character (and boy, is she ever a character) after making several mailbag contributions; and many of the DPS trainees are modeled on the baby orc alts of friends.
In general, though, if you see a supporting character turn up whose name you don’t recognize, the smartest first guess is that he or she is based on a questgiver or other NPC somewhere in-game. (Wowpedia is your friend!) I deliberately picked a lot of relatively minor NPCs – people like Mokvar, Elder Cloudfall, and Dontrag and Utvoch – to use as supporting characters because I figured their relatively peripheral status gave me more latitude to work with them, give them backstories, etc. After all, what are the odds that Blizzard would actually do something with one of these people to contradict my own concoctions?
(Either way, if you’re not sure who someone is, I’ve also maintained a partial list of supporting players on the About the Blog page, including some of the more pertinent information about them.)
Speaking of which – in the SoO raid, Mokvar is a mini-boss! Isn’t he missing? How are you going to deal with that?
First… um, yeah, that whole “no way they’re gonna do something with this guy” really blew up in my face on this one, huh?
And second… So, everyone who thought I was going to lay out this big storyline for Mokvar, and make such a production out of his disappearance…and then have it turn out that he really is dead…step forward.
Didn’t think so.
For those of you unclear on Mokvar’s whole story, which has been unfolding gradually for quite a while, you can check here for a brief overview and links to the relevant posts. Very short version: After becoming the victim of a mysterious attack, Mokvar sets out to track down a powerful relic from his warlock days, with the aid of a human named Deliana (who was Mokvar’s Alliance equivalent in the old dungeon set quests); over the course of his quest, he starts to behave increasingly strangely, culminating in his eventual flight from arrest in Orgrimmar. His whereabouts are now unknown.
Stay tuned. You’ll see where this is going!
With Mokvar gone, how are you handling the transcripts?
Prelinimary: The blog contains several transcripts of conversations that Garrosh has engaged in. The premise from the outset has been that Mokvar is (or was) Garrosh’s personal scribe, and records all these conversations for posting. This explains, by the way, a number of occasions when Garrosh mentions summoning Mokvar to an event, or otherwise noting Mokvar’s presence, as a way of leading in to a transcript.
Since Mokvar is off the grid, Garrosh has passed transcription duties to two people: Gurtash, who records his transcripts in the form of comics; and Taktani, a friend of Dontrag and Utvoch and long-time mailbag contributor, who’s started to (and will continue to) write a few transcripts, laden with her own unassuming brand of commentary.
What are these guild chat logs that keep cropping up?
Garrosh and several of the supporting characters play an MMORPG called Earth Online – the basic premise being that, to these characters, Azeroth is reality, and our real world is actually the game world of the MMO. Garrosh started his own guild, called <Warchief>, and several familiar faces (including Spazzle, Sylvanas, Lor’themar, Faranell, Garona, and Dontrag and Utvoch) are members. Also worth noting is that Jaina Proudmoore is a member of the guild…although she doesn’t realize (yet?) who her guildmates are in “real life.”
The guild chat logs recreate some of the exchanges that the members of <Warchief> have within their game, usually including regular guild chat, officer chat, and, in some cases, whispers. I make no pretense about the fact that some aspects of these logs are based on my own guild-chat expeiences, especially officer chat. The transcripts are always presented from the point of view of whoever posted them – usually Garrosh, but occasionally Spazzle.
Where did this whole thing about lemon squares come from?
Garrosh loves lemon squares. Don’t you?
Real explanation: Very early in the blog, Edenvale of The Gamer’s Fridge posted a recipe for Garrosh Hellscream’s lemon squares, and pointed me to her post with a comment on the Command Board. Since then, it’s become a bit of a running gag – the recipe, according to Garrosh, was his greatmother’s secret family recipe, and he was most perturbed that this random night elf had apparently gotten ahold of it.
What does “FYV” mean?
An abbreviation of one of Garrosh’s favorite turns of phrase, of course: “Fuck you, Varian!” Among other things, Garrosh often finds a way to slip that phrase into his EPIC VERSE compositions.
Speaking of which, what’s this “EPIC VERSE”? Garrosh writes poetry?
You sound surprised. Garrosh is an orc of many interests. What, do you think he’s some kind of one-note caricature or something?
Okay, fine, game-Garrosh kind of is.
Honestly, I just got a kick out of the obvious dichotomy of Garrosh Hellscream, gruffest of the gruff, also writing poetry on the side. True to form, Garrosh doesn’t view his compositions as just any poetry, so he prefers to call them EPIC VERSE. In caps. Always. It’s sprinkled throughout the blog – almost always in purple text, to stress its epic-ness – and ranges from limericks, to parodies of other famous poems, to reader requests, to epic rap battles.
So, that’s as much as I can think to cover. Other gaps can probably be filled in through the Major Storylines page, but if there are questions that anyone still has, in terms of getting caught up or clarified, by all means toss them into a comment and I’ll make sure it’s answered. And so, on that note, I’ll sigh off with the promise – unconditional promise! – that before the week is out, you’ll have the continuation of the actual STORY part of the story! Which left off, as you might recall, right here:
