Tag Archives: zhi-zhi
Moments of transition
After the last straw that was Garona’s report the other day, I decided that enough was enough. I’d spent enough time flying half blind though everything and not calling in every possible resource. So today I took a trip back to Tian Monastery to get some answers out of that Elder Cloudfall guy about this “destiny” I’m supposed to have. This time I wasn’t taking no for an answer – if I had to beat some answers out of his cryptic panda ass, so be it.
I brought Ben-Lin along for the trip, since I figured she seemed to get along well enough with Cloudfall the last time, and maybe having her in tow might make it a little easier to bring him around. I also brought Taktani, to take her first crack at transcribing…and Gurtash, too…you know, just in case.
Luckily, this time, Cloudfall was out strolling around the grounds when we arrived, so we didn’t have to waste time tracking him down. So…over to Tak…
(We landed at the monastery place and everybody got all excited to see a pudgy fuzzy panda man going for a walk.)
GARROSH – It’s Elder Cloudfall! Yay!
GURTASH – Yay!
BEN-LIN – Yay!
TAKTANI – I don’t know who that is, but yay too!
CLOUDFALL – Hi, Mr. Warchief! It’s really good to see you again because I guess we’ve met before, only Tak wasn’t there for that. But I bet it was fun!
GARROSH – It was!
BEN-LIN – Lots of fun!
CLOUDFALL – Oh that’s good! I’m so glad I didn’t miss it!
TAKTANI – Aw, I guess I did miss it! I’m sorry I wasn’t there too!
CLOUDFALL – Me too!
GURTASH – Me too too!
BEN-LIN – But you’re here now, Tak!
TAKTANI – Yay!
GARROSH – Yay!
CLOUDFALL – Yay!
GARROSH – Well I’m sure super happy to see you again, Mr. Panda! Hold on a minute, I have to talk to Tak!
(So that’s when Mr. Warchief asked to look at my transcript to see how I was doing do far, and he got really mad for some reason and yelled at me, and I’m not going to write those things down because I don’t want to make Mr. Warchief look mean and then people might not like him as much. But he told me I should just try to write down exactly what everyone says, word for word, and not – oh here, I can just show you!)
GARROSH – So, yeah, Tak, you should just try to write down exactly what everyone says, word for word, and not do these…embellishments or translations into Tak-speak or whatever, okay?
(See? So I guess I’ll try to do that because I don’t want Mr. Warchief to get mad again, especially after some of the things he said he was going to do, they sound like they would hurt. But I don’t want you to think Mr. Warchief is mean! He probably just didn’t sleep too well and that’s why he’s grumpy. Maybe he needs a new bed because he maybe doesn’t sleep well a lot. Anyway I guess being a scribe is really serious so I’d better try to concentrate.)
CLOUDFALL – It’s a pleasure to welcome you once again to Tian. Lady Cloudstrider, and Gurtash, I believe?
BEN-LIN – The pleasure is mine, Elder.
GURTASH – Oh wow, you remember me?
CLOUDFALL – Indeed! I never forget a face, or a name.
GARROSH – Oh great, another guy with an uber-memory. Nothing ever goes wrong with those guys.
(I didn’t understand what that meant but Mr. Warchief gave me a mean look when he saw I was going to ask something. Maybe Mr. D and Mr. U can explain later.)
CLOUDFALL – One face is unfamiliar to me, however, Warchief Garrosh. Tell me, who is your feline friend?
GARROSH – Oh…yeah. Her. This is Taktani. She’s helping spot Gurtash a little as my scribe and record-keeper.
TAKTANI – Hi, Mr. Panda! It’s nice to meet you! You can call me Tak! Or Tak-Tak, if that’s the way—
GARROSH – Don’t get started on that shit again.
TAKTANI – But Mr. Warchief, I just—
GARROSH – Anyway, she’s kind of in her trial period. Her really, really tenuous trial period.
CLOUDFALL – Ah, well, I’m sure she’ll perform admirably.
GARROSH – That’s because this is your first time meeting her.
( 🙁 )
CLOUDFALL – In any case, I should provide an introduction in kind. You all remember our hozen friend, I’m sure.
(Oh I forgot to mention there was a monkey man, like the one at our fort, walking with Mr. Panda!)
CLOUDFALL – Taktani, allow me to introduce Zhi-Zhi.
ZHI-ZHI – Much pleasings to be making your acquaintances.
TAKTANI – Your name is Zhi-Zhi, Mr. Monkey?
ZHI-ZHI – The emphasizings should be on the first syllable, but yes.
TAKTANI – So we do say everyone’s name twice here!
BEN-LIN – No, Taktani, we say people’s names normally here. It is simply a naming tradition among some of the hozen.
TAKTANI – Oh, I think that’s what Mr. D and Mr. U were telling me before.
GARROSH – I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but yeah, Dontrag and Utvoch were right. So…congratulations, universe. You win again.
BEN-LIN – Oh, is that who “Mr. D and Mr. U” are?
GARROSH – Yeah, Ben. You’ve met them?
BEN-LIN – Briefly, yes. I only was able to speak with them for a short time before I needed to go due to the mysterious onset of a terrible headache.
TAKTANI – I’m sorry you didn’t feel good. Are you better now, Ms. Ben-Lin-Lin?
BEN-LIN – I am, thank you.
TAKTANI – Or is it Ms. Ben-Ben-Lin?
BEN-LIN – Although I believe it may be returning.
GARROSH – Tak, just zip it and try to focus on the scribing, okay?
TAKTANI – Okay, Mr. War-war-chief-chief. Chief.
GARROSH – THAT’S NOT HOW NAMES WORK HERE.
BEN-LIN – It is a curious thing, Garrosh: there are times when I would swear that you are, in fact, heroically even-tempered.
GURTASH – (leans over to me) Make sure you get that down.
CLOUDFALL – Zhi-Zhi, while our guests are here, why don’t you take Gurtash’s mount to the stable. Do you have your wyvern with you as well, Warchief Garrosh?
GARROSH – Mortimer? No, not here with us.
(Elder Cloudfall waved to Mr. Zhi, and Mr. Zhi led Gurtash’s wyvern away.)
CLOUDFALL – I’m surprised, Warchief. You seemed rather attached to the animal; I would have thought you would bring him with you.
GARROSH – Well, I rode him out here for the trip. But there was a pond with some cranes nearby and so I figured I’d let him go do some hunting for lunch while we were here.
CLOUDFALL – Oh…Warchief Garrosh, I’m not sure if that was wise. The Jade Forest is full of predators.
GARROSH – And?
CLOUDFALL – Well…are you not worried that your wyvern will be harmed?
(Mr. Warchief and Gurtash turned and looked at each other for a minute, and then they both burst out laughing really hard. Mr. Warchief laughed so hard he had to lean on Gurtash and I think he even cried a little.)
GARROSH – Yeah, we…we better go find him.
GURTASH – (barely getting the words out between laughs) He might be in trouble, Captain!
GARROSH – From all those predators!
CLOUDFALL – Warchief Garrosh?
GARROSH – I love you pandas. Don’t ever change.
CLOUDFALL – Ah. Well then…to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit today?
GARROSH – Yeah, right, down to business. It’s pretty simple, Elder. We all know you and monkey boy have seen something about my future in those…whatever…vision caves or whatever you called them. Last time I was here, I let you squirm out being all cryptic and evasive, but I need answers, and this time around you’re going to give them to me.
CLOUDFALL – Warchief Garrosh, surely you cannot expect me to lay out your future for you. Nothing has changed since—
GARROSH – Listen, Lunchbox, last time you told me that when I was “ready,” we would meet again. Well check it out, here we are, meeting again, and believe me, I’m ready as all fuck.
CLOUDFALL – You may be ready to hear, Warchief, but I still question whether you are ready to meet the fate before you.
GARROSH – How about you let ME worry about that, Deep-Dish? Tell me what you’ve seen, for starters, and we’ll take it from there.
CLOUDFALL – It’s not as simple as you would presume. You don’t understand the nature of the visions.
GARROSH – Illuminate me.
(Mr. Cloudfall just stared at Mr. Warchief all serious for a minute. I hope he’s not getting a headache too!)
CLOUDFALL – Let me try to explain this, Warchief Garrosh. The visions I spoke of provide a piece of the future, but they do not spell out events step by step. They are fragments – as if you were to look at a painting, but only see the reds and yellows, but not the blues or greens. They are pieces without context.
GARROSH – “Context”? Are you serious? You’re going to stonewall me over fucking CONTEXT?
CLOUDFALL – Warchief Garrosh, context is the solitary line that separates an act of barbarism from an act of kindness. Even were I of a mind to tell you—
GARROSH – Listen to me. You only just met us, so I don’t expect you to understand what’s at stake here. So yeah, you know what? Context. So let me explain this to you. You want to dance around what the future holds? My people are in the middle of a war to DETERMINE their future. And you do NOT want to know what I’ve already sacrificed trying to secure it. And meanwhile, I’ve got the people who are supposedly on MY side in all this running around behind my back, undermining me at every turn, cutting deals with my worst fucking enemies for what reasons I can’t even guess. I NEED TO KNOW what the fuck is going on with all this.
CLOUDFALL – (sighs) To know anyone’s fate is a dangerous prospect, but to know one’s own—
GARROSH – Are you worried about spoilers, Gramps? Well, here, maybe this will help – I’ve already been spoiled. I’ve already had one person take a peek into my future and come back with a report. He told me “they” were going to turn against me. And now it looks like he was right, only maybe he wasn’t. I don’t fucking KNOW. And I’m trying to look out for an entire fucking CIVILIZATION, and THESE are the things I’m having to spend my time thinking about.
(Mr. Panda got very quiet and mostly just looked at the ground. I think maybe he didn’t want to make Mr. Warchief any more upset. Or maybe he was sad to hear lots of people are being mean to Mr. Warchief. That’s not very nice even if he does get grumpy sometimes.)
GARROSH – Listen, I get that you’re worried about giving away too much, or telling me things that I’m not going to be able to make sense of. But there’s got to be some chunk of it that I can latch on to. Give me SOMETHING.
CLOUDFALL – I wasn’t lying when I said that the visions were mere fragments. Incomplete – not least of all because the events surrounding them are still in motion, still in flux…
GARROSH – How about this, then. You and monkey boy both said I have a destiny. The first time I met Chimps, he kept calling me “the one.” Let’s start there. What the fuck was he talking about?
(The Elder man got quiet again and rubbed his chin while he stared down for a minute.)
CLOUDFALL – You…are the one who brings the peoples of the Horde together under a common cause. The one who sets in motion the events that bring about the emergence of a new Horde, a rebirth…
(Mr. Warchief looked all happy and proud. I don’t blame him! He’s going to be a hero! Yay!)
GARROSH – Okay, so, why in the FUCK would you not want to tell me THAT future?
CLOUDFALL – Because you don’t know how you get there.
(Uh oh, Mr. Warchief got all serious again and looked at Mr. Panda all impatient.)
GARROSH – And…?
CLOUDFALL – And neither do I.
GARROSH – You’re about to get cryptic on me again, aren’t you?
CLOUDFALL – I’ve seen the reds and the yellows of your future, Warchief Garrosh, and I know that you stand upon a fulcrum: the choices you will make in the days ahead will determine how your destiny takes shape. For now, I do not know the shape of that future or where it will take you. I know only that it is born in pain.
GARROSH – Yep, I called that one.
CLOUDFALL – Warchief Garrosh?
GARROSH – Whatever. The important thing is, as long as I know the Horde comes out strong on the other side of this, I’m ready to deal with whatever pain it takes to get there.
CLOUDFALL – No.
GARROSH – What?
CLOUDFALL – I wasn’t lying about that last time, either. You’re not ready for what’s coming. (pauses, thinking) But…I think I can help you. If you’re willing to face the shadows I once told you weighed upon your steps.
GARROSH – If I say yes, will there be a point where this doubletalk of yours starts to make sense?
CLOUDFALL – It may. And if it doesn’t, you’ll be no worse off than you are now, I suspect.
GARROSH – I’m all ears.
CLOUDFALL – This is not something I can tell you, but a journey I believe I can guide you on. There is a place, far from here, where you may be able to see for yourself, and begin to face your destiny.
GARROSH – Man, you pandas really do love to lay it on thick, don’t you? You’re on, though. Where to?
* Garrosh received this message from A’dal here, while accompanying Liadrin to Shattrath.
The geometry of shadows
Okay, so, Gurtash finally managed to finish up the last part of this record from Tian Monastery. Just in the nick of time, too, seeing as apparently Regent-Lord Hair-Care and his people have found something up north, which means I should probably get up there before something jumps out and goes “BOO!” and they all wet themselves again and spend the next three months crying to me about the pee stains in their panties. Fucking blood elves.
Anyway, when we left off last time, we’d just gotten a visit from that Taran Zhu guy, which…well, the less said about that the better, I guess. Because dude, seriously. Moving on…
Credit where it’s due, Gurtash puts in the effort on these things, but man, he goes through a lot of paper. You should seriously see the stacks of sketches I’ve got piling up in my war room at Domination Point. I’m thinking I might have to find something to do with this stuff before it totally takes over…anybody have any interest in some drawings? Better the mailbox than the fireplace, I suppose.
Anyway, that’s it for now. Back soon with updates on whatever Lor’themotherfucker’s found in the mountains.
Getting around with the Shado-Pan
So, when last we left off, Ben-Lin had just…um…politely convinced me to lay off beating the monkey.
I can’t put my finger on it, but something about that is reminding me of a talking-to Greatmother gave me about 20 years ago.
Anyway, continuing on.
* That would be this occasion, even though this particular Zhi-Zhi wouldn’t remember it.
Continued soon, or at least as “soon” as Gurtash can crank out some more of what happened. Gotta say, if nothing else, I’m starting to miss the time-efficiency of Mokvar’s transcripts. Oh well…
Shock the monkey
So, picking up where we left off in the last installment…
* Garrosh first met Zhi-Zhi here, then crossed paths again here and here.
** These events all took place in an alternate timeline, which…you know what, here. Just re-read it, it’ll be easier.
Continued as soon as the kid can scribble out some more crap.
I think I can remember your name
I’m scheduled to fly back to Kun-Lai Summit in a couple days to check in again with Lor’the’motherfucker’s Reliquary peeps and see how their research is going at the new mogu site. I’m pretty well certain that if we can figure out what happened to this Divine Bell, it could be the thing that finally tips the scales for us against the Alliance. So I’ll give Regent-Lord Cyclops and his crew a few days to prance around up there, then stop in and see how badly they need me to hold their feet to the fire.
In the meantime, I’m taking a little time to have a look around some more of Pandaria, starting with where Nazgrim got the ball rolling a couple months ago, the Jade Forest. I decided to bring Gurtash for the trip, along with blademaster Burzum and Ben-Lin Cloudstrider, who’s seeing mainland Pandaria for the first time and is plenty curious about her homeland-that’s-not.
First stop was Serpent’s Heart, site of that big battle Nazgrim fought between…well…his monkeys and the Alliance’s fish men.
…
Yeah, I needed a minute there to be sad again.
Anyhow, this was my first look at the handiwork of this “sha” that I keep hearing about…specifically, in this case, the Sha of Doubt, because I guess they all decided to divide up into jurisdictions or whatever. Anyway, pretty creepy stuff, not least of all because even the land itself seems to have been infected by whatever dark energy these sha things generate.
After that, we flew around checking some of the regions to the north, and wound up paying a visit to a place I’d heard of once before, a long time and another world ago…
* Tian Monastery was mentioned to Garrosh here, in an alternate timeline.
* Like this?
[A quick OOC note: Garrosh’s adventures at Tian Monastery will be spread out over a series of web comic installments. The comics are a lot of fun to put together, but are also something of a beast time-wise, so please bear with me if the next few posts have longer gaps between them than you may be accustomed to here. Thanks for reading as always!]
Krasarang reunions
Construction is coming along quickly here at Domination Point. That’s what we’re calling the new outpost, by the way – pretty badass, right? Thought of it myself. Anyway, we’re making good progress getting the place built. Warlord Zaela sent some of her Dragonmaw construction crew with us, and as any of you who were there will remember, a couple years ago when the Dragonmaw joined the Horde, they got Dragonmaw Port rebuilt FAST. As opposed to, say, the goblin contractors who STILL haven’t quite finished the job in Orgrimmar. Which is really pretty ridiculous at this point. I mean, can you imagine how embarrassing it’s going to be if Orgrimmar comes under siege, and we STILL haven’t finished fixing the place from the LAST major problem?
So that’s coming along. While we work on getting the base built and securing the area, I’ve also been keeping Gurtash and the rest of the DPS busy gathering food. Turns out there’s an island close by that’s practically swarming with these huge cranes that have enough breast meat on them to feed half a regiment. They’re a little big for the kids, but it’s been good practice for them working as a team. Also, as part of the Pandaria landing team, I’d brought three of the Mag’har’s best blademasters from Nagrand: Ishi, Burzum, and Krimpatul. So I’ve been having the three of them take turns going out with the DPS when they go hunting, just to keep an eye on them. The kids seem to be hitting it off with Krimp especially. He’s got the gruff lovable mentor thing going for him. Kind of like me.
In other news, General Nazgrim and his team arrived here today. Which was a good thing – one, because Nazgrim is always good in a fight, but two, because that gave me a chance to ask some pointed questions based on Krog’s reports on a certain former captive of theirs.
Case in point: How exactly Nazgrim and his crew managed to turn this:
…into this:
The extent of Nazgrim’s response pretty much consisted of “Oh, so, um, you heard about that, huh?”
One other part of Nazgrim’s arrival, though – along with his regular crew like Kiryn and Shokia, he also brought one of those monkey people he’d recruited back in the Jade Forest, a hozen named Tak-Tak who’s going to be helping our flightmaster Kromthar. And here’s the thing. This was the first time I’d met a hozen…only it wasn’t. Some of you might remember – a few months ago, when time was going all wonky and I was flashing into that alternate reality, I met a monkey-like creature, name of Zhi-Zhi. Who’d been found washed ashore after the destruction of his home in the southern islands. It was the first time I’d ever seen a creature like him…but he seemed to know a thing or two about me.
And so THAT was the first time I ever met a hozen – only now, those events never happened. Except I still remember them. FUCKING TIME TRAVEL. Head hurts.
So after Nazgrim introduced me to Tak-Tak, I pulled Monkey Boy aside and tried picking his tiny little brain some. He said most of the mountain hozen up north were pretty hostile, same for the hozen on the islands to the east of here. According to him, the only hozen who’ve managed to shill at all – and from what I can tell, “chill” would be a VERY relative term – would be the forest hozen where he’d come from. Most of those, he says, have stayed in villages like Grookin Hill, but some individuals have gone off to live with the pandaren in one place or another. He rattled off a few places some of them had gone, and most of the names blurred together, but then one stuck out – a place in the Jade Forest called the Tian Monastery. That one rang a tiny little bell. When we get a little breathing room, I may need to pay them a visit over that way.
Anyhow, back to work. I’ll keep you posted on news as it happens, assuming my internet stays up.
The Wizard of Zhan, Act 3
The curtain rises on the exterior of Karazhan. Garrosh et al approach the front gate.
GARROSH: Okay, so this is the place…
FARANELL: Weren’t we just here not too long ago?
Garrosh knocks on the door. A window on the door slides open, and Berhold the doorman sticks his head out.
BERTHOLD: Who goes there? What business do you have at the master’s Dark Tower?
GARROSH: We’ve come to see the Wizard.
DONTRAG: The guardian Wizard of Zhan!
UTVOCH: We hear he’s sage—
Garrosh smacks Utvoch.
GARROSH: Now don’t you get started with that shit again!
BERTHOLD: The Wizard? You can’t see the Wizard! No one sees the Wizard!
GARONA: Here’s where I grease the wheels… You remember me, don’t you, Berthold?
BERTHOLD: <leans out a bit more, squinting> Hmm, well…oh…oh goodness…lady Garona? Is it really you?
GARONA: It’s good to see you again, Berthold. Could you please go in and tell the Wizard it’s me?
BERTHOLD: Well, um, of course, m’lady. I’ll just be a moment.
Berthold disappears inside and the window closes.
GARONA: <grinning smugly> See? Now we just wait a minute or two, and then they’ll roll out the welcome mat.
GARROSH: How do you know this guy, anyway?
GARONA: I guess you could say we had sort of a thing back in the day.
GARROSH: Suddenly this Wizard’s judgment is seeming a little suspect.
GARONA: What’s that supposed to mean?
Just in front of the door, a heavy portcullis suddenly comes crashing down.
FARANELL: Um, unless welcome mats have been radically redesigned lately…
GARONA: Hang on.
Garona raps on the door angrily. The window opens and Berthold looks out again.
BERTHOLD: Yes?
GARONA: Didn’t you tell him it was me?
BERTHOLD: Yes!
Berthold slams the window shut.
GARONA: Well I…I…
GARROSH: Okay, so I stand corrected on this Wizard guy.
MOKVAR: Well now we have a minor problem about getting in to see him.
GARROSH: Anyone else have any bright ideas?
FARANELL: Garrosh, let me see that Focusing Iris?
GARROSH: You’re not going to try to blow up the gate and get us all killed or something, are you?
FARANELL: Not all of us.
MOKVAR: Reassuring.
FARANELL: But really, let me see it. I think I know how to appeal to him.
GARROSH: <handing the Focusing Iris to Faranell> You think you can get us in, run with it, man.
Faranell knocks on the door; the window opens, and Berthold looks out.
BERTHOLD: Are you all still here?
FARANELL: Yeah, so listen—
BERTHOLD: Good heavens, what happened to you? You look like death warmed over!
FARANELL: Yeah, yeah, I’m undead. So anyway—
BERTHOLD: Undead? That must be a horrible fate.
FARANELL: Yeah, well, take a good long look at the future, smart guy. Are you done interrupting me now? Yeah? Good. So, check this out. I know your boss isn’t in much of a hurry to be reunited with little miss sunshine over here, but I think he’d be very interested in getting a peek at this.
Faranell holds up the Focusing Iris.
You go on back inside and tell him that the bearer of the Focusing Iris is here, and might be persuaded to let him check out the number one item on every magic user’s Winter’s Veil list, okay?
BERTHOLD: Huh…if you say so, sir…
Berthold disappears inside.
MOKVAR: You think he’s going to go for it?
FARANELL: Trust me, I know how to appeal to another mage.
GARROSH: Let’s hope.
Accompanied by the sound of rattling chains, the portcullis rises back up, and the door swings open.
FARANELL: And there we go.
GARROSH: Nice job, Doc. Now we’re in business. Let’s go finish this…
The group walks through the gate.
Blackout. Garrosh and the others enter a large chamber filled with relics, vials, and other magic paraphernalia. Tapestries and ornate curtains decorate those portions of the walls not covered with tall bookshelves.
GARROSH: Huh… Well this looks like the kind of place a wizard would hang out, but where is he?
A booming voice echoes through the room.
VOICE: You have come to seek an audience with the great and powerful Wizard of Zhan?
GARONA: Oh boy, here he goes.
GARROSH: <looking around> Uh, yeah, we do, if he can bother dragging his butt out here so we can actually see him.
VOICE: You dare presume to speak to the great Wizard with such familiarity, mortal? You shall count yourself fortunate that the Wizard does not smite you where you stand!
UTVOCH: Wait, he’s a priest? I thought he was a mage.
MOKVAR: Is he always like this?
GARONA: Oh you have no idea. All the time with the talking about himself in the third person.
In the middle of the room, a towering, semi-transparent avatar of Medivh appears.
MEDIVH: The Wizard of Zhan has been informed that one among you carries the storied Focusing Iris! It is for this reason alone that you have been permitted into this sanctified chamber!
GARONA: Oh, and there he is, finally. And thank you, dear, for that very warm welcome.
MEDIVH: <looks at Garona> Oh. Delightful.
GARONA: Oh, really? You want to know what else is delightful? Being a single mom trying to give her son a good life when the kid’s high-and-mighty richer-than-Aman’thul dad for some reason can’t be bothered to mail off a child support payment!
MEDIVH: The great and powerful Wizard of Zhan does not have time to trifle with these petty—
GARONA: Oh, sure, when it’s something I want to talk about…
GARROSH: So listen, Your Wizardry, we have the Focusing Iris—
MEDIVH: Indeed, hence you are here in my chamber, and not cast out to the ogres! I will be most interested to examine the relic, and—
GARROSH: Yeah, well, here’s the thing, chief – before we let you go poking around with the shiny, we have a few things of our own that we could use a hand with.
MEDIVH: You dare dictate terms to the great and mighty Wizard!
GARONA: Oh man, he’s really in form today…
FARANELL: If you’d rather not be bothered we can just be along our way.
MEDIVH: <chuckles> You mortals have daring, I’ll grant you that much.
Medivh looks around the group, eyeing them carefully.
I will hear your requests.
GARONA: Hold the presses, he just called himself “I.”
MEDIVH: And you would do well to still her tongue.
GARROSH: Been working on that for months, chief. No luck so far.
MEDIVH: At any rate – present your entreaties, but remember the Wizard makes no promises.
GARROSH: We each have something we’re after, Wiz. In my case, I’m trying to find a way to summon Prince Malchezaar down from the Netherspace, so I can put him in the ground before the Burning Legion can pull him out of mothballs to stir up trouble for my people.
MEDIVH: Ah, yes, the irksome demon who’s tucked himself away in the upper levels. You intrigue me, mortal; I must say it would be no small pleasure to have that particular infestation removed from this place…
GARROSH: Okay, so far so good. Meanwhile…well…the rest of the requests are a little more personalized.
DONTRAG: Shall we present our case to the great and metallurgical Wizard, sir, and—
GARROSH: <smacking Dontrag> For spirits’ sake, no.
MOKVAR: Dontrag and Utvoch here would like some brains.
UTVOCH: Indeed, sir!
DONTRAG: <rubbing his head> So as not to have our current ones beaten out quite so often, sir.
GARROSH: And for real, anything you could do on that count, I mean, I can’t possibly overstate how much of a quality of life improvement that could be for everyone involved.
MOKVAR: As for the rest of us… A heart for me.
GARROSH: Because apparently he’s still moping over his ex-wife or something.
GARONA: Could you be any more insensitive?
FARANELL: And some guts for me.
UTVOCH: I still don’t really think you need—
MEDIVH: Enough of your insipid prattling, insects!
GARROSH: Yelling doesn’t do much good with this crowd, Wiz. Don’t think I haven’t tried.
MEDIVH: The great and powerful Wizard of Zhan has heard your requests, and in light of the possibility of studying the Focusing Iris, has deemed them acceptable.
GARROSH: Awesome, Wiz.
FARANELL: See, I told you the Iris was our ticket in.
MOKVAR: So is there a spell or an incantation you have to do on us, or…?
MEDIVH: Silence, mortals! I have not yet finished! I will grant your requests, but first I require you to perform a task on my behalf!
MOKVAR: Uh oh.
DONTRAG: I knew there was going to be a catch…
MOKVAR: We’re going to have to kill something, aren’t we?
GARROSH: So hang on, when you say we have to do a task for you, is this a for real task, or one of those busywork kind of tasks, because you’re talking to an old pro at doling out those…
FARANELL: Personally I think the whole getting-to-work-on-the-Iris thing should be enough of a trade-off on our part, but…
MEDIVH: Bleat at me no longer, fools!
MOKVAR: …Ouch.
FARANELL: That was kind of a good one, actually.
MEDIVH: Before the mighty and magnanimous Wizard grants your request, he demands that you return to him another magic relic of great power: you are to slay the Wicked Witch of the West, and recover from her the Doomstone.
GARROSH: Hang on, the Wicked Witch of the West? That’s Magatha, isn’t it?
GARONA: Yeah.
GARROSH: So we get what we came for, AND I get to kill Magatha?
FARANELL: Didn’t you already kill her in the other timeline?
GARROSH: Trust me, dude, it never gets old.
MEDIVH: You shall venture to the odious lair of the Wicked Witch, where you shall slay her and return with the powerful Doomstone. You must not shy away from this task, for if you fail to carry out this duty—
GARROSH: Dude, it’s cool, done and done.
MEDIVH: Excellent! Be warned, however, the lair of the Wicked Witch of the West shall not be breached easily. It lies in the Mountains of Twilight, in the dread Bastion of the Dying Day. The journey shall be long and arduous, and you will find many trials between here and—
FARANELL: <holding up the Focusing Iris and channeling a spell> Yeah, stoke that noise. Portal to BoT coming up!
Faranell completes the spell and teleports the group away, other than Garona.
MEDIVH: <sighs> Mortals.
Blackout. In an inner chamber of the Bastion of Twilight, Magatha peers into an Eye of Twilight. Beside her hunches Zhi-Zhi, dressed in armor and sporting bat-like wings on his back; around the room similar winged monkey creatures scurry.
MAGATHA: The visions have grown cloudy…they may have reached Karazhan, but no matter – soon enough we’ll find them, and the Focusing Iris will be—
In a flash of light, Garrosh et all appear in the middle of the room. The group appears briefly disoriented as they look around.
FARANELL: Okay, here we are!
MOKVAR: <looking around> Are…are those flying monkeys?
MAGATHA: Well then! All the better! No need to go out hunting for them – the fools have delivered themselves right into my very lair!
ZHI-ZHI: Now! Now we get them, your Witchy-wooken-ness ma’am! Hozen do good and get the dookin’—
MAGATHA: <smacking Zhi-Zhi> Shut up, you insipid preliterate orang utan! Get them!
ZHI-ZHI: Ahhh! Stop hitting Zhi-Zhi!
DONTRAG: I know the feeling, ape guy…
ZHI-ZHI: Get them! Get them!
More monkeys swarm into the room and start running to surround Garrosh’s group, which backs up toward stage right. Magatha runs back and forth in the background, overlooking the scene. Arikara flies in and swoops back and forth above them.
GARROSH: That’s…a whole lot of monkeys.
FARANELL: Plus that wind serpent…
Mortimer leaps into the air and barrels into Arikara with a snarl, knocking them both offstage to the left.
GARROSH: Yeah, I’m not so worried about the wind serpent.
The monkeys descend in bunches, attacking the group.
The chimp brigade, on the other hand…
The Horde group starts to fight off the monkeys; they cut the monkeys down easily enough, but by sheer force of numbers, Magatha’s attackers push Garrosh et al further back.
Magatha descends and begins shooting chain lightning.
MAGATHA: Hahaha! You fools made my work that much easier! Now the Focusing Iris will be mine, and—
Faranell runs up to Magatha and splashes her from a bucket.
AAAHH!! I’m melting! I’m melting! AAAAHHH!!!
Screaming all the way, Magatha melts into a sizzling brown puddle on the floor.
GARROSH: Um, hang on a second. She melted? Fucking WATER killed her?
FARANELL: No. That wasn’t water.
MOKVAR: What was it, then?
FARANELL: Acidic plague.
GARROSH: You walk around with a bucket of acidic plague?
FARANELL: Do you not know what I do for a living?
ZHI-ZHI: The Wicked Witch – she’s dead! You killed her!
MOKVAR: Uh oh. Bracing for pissed-off monkeys.
ZHI-ZHI: She’s dead! She’s dead! Hozen are free! Free of the Witch!
Zhi-Zhi starts jumping up and down jubilantly, with the other monkeys following his lead in short order. Mortimer wanders in and sits, munching on a wind serpent wing.
DONTRAG: I guess this is good?
MOKVAR: As long as they don’t start fliging poop around, I think we’re okay.
ZHI-ZHI: No more beatings from Wicked Witch! We friends now! Friends of the hozen!
Faranell prods Magatha’s remains, rummaging through the remains of her cloak.
MOKVAR: Be careful there, Edwin – are you sure you should be poking around in that stuff?
FARANELL: <continues rummaging> Oh, yes, you’re right, I’d better be careful not to touch any of the plague, or else my flesh might decompose and I might die and OH WAIT.
Faranell pulls a polished gray stone from Magatha’s cloak and tosses it to Garrosh.
Here we go. Mission accomplished.
ZHI-ZHI: Yes! You take Doomstone – reward for killing Wicked Witch! And hozen will follow you now!
GARROSH: Don’t I know you from somewhere?
ZHI-ZHI: <scratching his head> Ever been to Tian Monastery?
GARROSH: Never heard of it.
MOKVAR: Well, other than that one time.
ZHI-ZHI: <still scratching his head> Dunno then…
GARROSH: <shrugs> Whatever.
FARANELL: Portal back to the Wizard?
GARROSH: Yeah, let’s get a move on.
ZHI-ZHI: Hozen come too! Follow new leader! Leader who free hozen!
GARROSH: Uh, yeah, dude, listen, I’ve already got my quota filled on preliterate knuckle-dragging lackeys, okay?
DONTRAG: Sorry, sir.
FARANELL: Okay, gentlemen, here we go…
Faranell casts a portal spell and teleports the group away. Zhi-Zhi remains with the other winged monkeys; he looks around dejectedly, then sneers at the spot where Garrosh had been standing.
ZHI-ZHI: Still not the one!
Blackout. In the Wizard of Zhan’s chamber, Garrosh et al port in, joining Medivh, Garona, and Liadrin.
MEDIVH: Ah, you’ve returned! The mighty but restless Wizard of Zhan is both pleased and not inconsiderably relieved at your timely return!
MOKVAR: You were worried about us?
MEDIVH: Not especially. But since your departure, your…colleague has scarcely shut up.
GARONA: Well sue me for thinking you might want to catch up a little. It’s not like we have a kid together or anything.
GARROSH: <looking to Liadrin> And hang on, what are YOU doing here?
LIADRIN: You think I would miss this floor show?
GARROSH: Well you know, if you were going to come here anyway, you could have maybe stayed with us and used some of your magic to help move things along.
LIADRIN: And then what would you have learned?
GARROSH: I didn’t learn a damn thing as it is, other than “Watch where you step around monkeys” and “Don’t get too close if you see a walking corpse with a bucket”!
FARANELL: You know I’m standing right here.
LIADRIN: Two valuable life lessons.
GARROSH: …I seriously need some new friends.
MEDIVH: At any rate.
GARROSH: Yeah, PLEASE get us back to business.
MEDIVH: You have brought the Doomstone, as I instructed?
GARROSH: <holds up the Doomstone> Got it right here.
MEDIVH: Excellent. Now you shall hand over the relic, and—
GARROSH: Not so fast, translucent boy. First you give us what we came here for, THEN we’ll give you the doohicky.
MEDIVH: You dare try to dictate terms to the great and powerful Wizard of Zhan, mortal? I should liquidate you for your presumption alone!
Mortimer, who has been sniffing around the various tapestries that cover parts of the walls, tugs back one curtain to reveal a control panel covered with elaborate levers, buttons, and monitors, manned by a Forsaken male dressed in warrior’s plate.
GARROSH: Uh, who’s that?
The Forsaken man speaks into a microphone on the control panel, and his words are echoed by Medivh.
AVERRY and MEDIVH: Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!
FARANELL: Well that’s…odd.
GARROSH: The hell?
GARONA: I don’t even want to think about the implications of this for me.
AVERRY and MEDIVH: Silence, you foolish mortals! Pay him no mind!
GARROSH: Dude, we can see you’re the one doing the talking.
UTVOCH: I’m confused.
FARANELL: Imagine our astonishment.
Averry looks back at the others and hurriedly pulls the curtain closed again.
GARROSH: Now then, insects, you will disregard the man behind the— Oh. Oops. Wrong button.
MEDIVH: That’s better. Now then, insects, you will disregard the man behind the curtain, and put him out of mind!
ALL: What man behind the curtain whom we certainly don’t remember seeing?
MEDIVH: Much better.
GARROSH: Look, can we just get what we came here for so we can get this whole freak show over with?
LIADRIN: It probably would be just as easy to do it this way, Guardian.
MEDIVH: <sighs> Very well. Have your companions step forward…
Mokvar, Faranell, Dontrag, and Utvoch step closer to Medivh. Medivh looks to Faranell.
First you, my fellow – albeit preposterously less mighty – mage.
FARANELL: Can’t anyone be one of the best at their class without being an elitist jerk about it?
MEDIVH: You came, as I recall, seeking guts – and yet I daresay you suffer from disorganized thinking. To flee from danger is, in many cases, not cowardice, but wisdom. Indeed, in my day I have known many a soul called a hero, who carried out great deeds of valiance, and they had no more courage than—
FARANELL: No, no, you’re taking this too metaphorically.
MEDIVH: Pardon?
FARANELL: I don’t need guts because I think I’m a coward. Look at me. Half my internal organs are missing. I have no guts, literally.
MEDIVH: Huh. You know, you’re shedding new light on some complaints I’ve been getting from Moroes…
FARANELL: How about I put you down for an “I’ll get back to you” and keep the line moving.
Medivh shrugs and turns to Mokvar.
MEDIVH: As for you, my good orc… Your trouble is another misperception of your situation – not the lack of heart, but a damaged one. To that end, I give you this remedy, for your ears and your ears alone:
Medivh leans closer to Mokvar.
<aside> She is still out there, alive, and she is looking for you.
Mokvar makes a surprised expression, then nods and steps away. Medivh turns to Dontrag and Utvoch.
Now then…you two.
DONTRAG: Yes, sir, your high and mighty Wizardariousness, sir.
UTVOCH: Very much honored to bask in your presence and await your magnaminious blessings, sir.
MEDIVH: Hmm… Yeah. Right. Sorry. You can’t fix stupid.
DONTRAG: Oh.
UTVOCH: Um…okay…
GARROSH: <sighs> Gotta say, we’re not getting a whole lot of return on our investment so far.
MEDIVH: Now for your request, other-orc. You say you seek the demon Malchezaar, and the means to draw him out of his hiding place…
GARROSH: Right. Please don’t tell me this is another one of those “Oops, I can’t really do that one” things for you.
MEDIVH: The great and powerful Wizard of Zhan can do anything, mortal!
FARANELL: Other than listen to himself for like the last three minutes.
MEDIVH: But, as it happens, in this case the Wizard does not need to!
GARROSH: <sighs> Don’t tell me you’re going to get all cryptic on me now.
LIADRIN: What I think the Wizard means, Garrosh, is that you have the means now to do it yourself.
GARROSH: The what now?
Liadrin points to the Doomstone in Garrosh’s hands.
Huh… This thing can do it? How?
LIADRIN: You need only charge it with the Focusing Iris, and you’ll see.
GARROSH: Huh. Well, you heard her, Edwin. Let’s see what this thing does.
Faranell takes out the Focusing Iris and starts to channel arcane power through it and into the Doomstone. The Doomstone starts to glow, then expand, growing into a heavy gray slab of rock with a single runic symbol etched into it.
LIADRIN: Now all you need to is touch your hand to it and say “Come click on the stone.”
Garrosh gives a quizzical look, then shrugs and puts his hand on the stone.
GARROSH: Come click on the stone.
LIADRIN: That’s it…go on…
GARROSH: Come click on the stone… Come click on the stone… Come click on the stone…
As he repeats the phrase, Faranall and Mokvar approach and touch the stone as well. The stage lights dim as Medivh’s chamber fades away, and the only things left visible are Garrosh and the stone. A bright light flashes around the stone, and Prince Malchezaar appears.
MALCHEZAAR: <looks around bewildered> What? How—?
GARROSH: Well hey, now we’re in business.
MALCHEZAAR: You! You dare?
GARROSH: Yeah, so, we haven’t really properly met or anything, princy, so let me fill you in – I dare. Like, professionally.
MALCHEZAAR: Madness has brought you here, orc! Now I shall be your undoing!
GARROSH: Seriously, do you bad guys all take a class on these stock threats? Because—
Garrosh reaches to his back to draw Gorehowl, only to find it’s disappeared from its usual place.
Wha— Oh for fuck’s sake, seriously? Again, now?
Laughing menacingly, Malchezaar draws Gorehowl and brandishes it.
MALCHEZAAR: Ha! Have you misplaced this, fool? I remember fondly the day I recovered it from Demon’s Fall!
GARROSH: Ugh, fine, we’ll do this the street-brawl way…
Garrosh rushes at Malchezaar and grapples with him, gripping Gorehowl by its haft when Malchezaar tries to swing it at him.
MALCHEZAAR: Flee now while you can, orc! You do not face Malchezaar alone—
GARROSH: Yeah, yeah, we all know the spiel, squid-face – but you know something? You’re right. I DON’T face Malchezaar alone…
The stage lights come back on, illuminating the normal, minimally dressed stage of the Opera House – with Faranell, Liadrin, Mokvar, Garona, Dontrag, and Utvoch in a semicircle behind Garrosh and Malchezaar.
Say hello to the legion at my command! SHOW TIME FOR REAL, kids!
MOKVAR: Liking our odds a lot better this time…
While Faranell and Mokvar stand back, casting fireballs and lightning bursts respectively, Liadrin, Garona, Dontrag, and Utvoch run in to engage Malchezaar at melee range. Malchezaar staggers back and forth under the onslaught of the group, still grappling with Garrosh over their hold on Gorehowl, until Garrosh twists it out of Malchezaar’s grip, leaps up, and cleaves through the demon’s neck, severing his head. Malchezaar’s body slumps to the floor, and the spectral audience bursts into applause.
GARROSH: Wham, bam, the bitch is dead. Bitch.
As the audience continues their applause, Barnes walks to center stage.
BARNES: A splendid finale for a most varied and entertaining evening of theater! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you tonight’s troupe of performers, here for the first and only time for your enjoyment!
The applause rises; Barnes walks back offstage.
MOKVAR: Well that takes care of that.
DONTRAG: We’re done here now, right?
LIADRIN: That should do it, yes…
FARANELL: <standing over Malchezaar’s body somberly> At least now he can stop coming back to die over and over…
MOKVAR: Oh, yeah…I guess you were in your own kind of time loop, weren’t you, Edwin…
LIADRIN: But…Edwin, it would have been a stable loop with you, wouldn’t it? Just one set of events repeating infinitely?
FARANELL: That’s what I’d figured it was going to be…
GARROSH: Wait, what? What do you mean, a stable loop?
FARANELL: When I stayed in old Southshore, and replaced myself. I’d figured I would live through my life like I remembered it, then get to the point where we traveled to the past, and go back with you again, then the events would be complete. And then it would be done, and the cycle would just keep spinning itself.
LIADRIN: That isn’t what happened for you?
FARANELL: <shaking head slowly> It didn’t just repeat. I would live through to our mission to the past, and replace myself again, and pick up my life in the past…and yeah, the loop would keep repeating, but every cycle through, I had to live it through again, and repeat my part of it again, and…
GARROSH: And…?
LIADRIN: Oh…oh no…
FARANELL: …and die again. And be raised again.
MOKVAR: Holy crap…
UTVOCH: Wait, I’m confused, what’s he—
GARROSH: Just this once, will you please SHUT THE FUCK UP?
FARANELL: And so yeah, every time around, I had to live out that repetition fresh. I can still remember every loop, individually…
LIADRIN: Edwin… I’m not sure if I even really want to know, but…how many times did you…go around?
FARANELL: By the time you…I…reset the timelines and broke me out…? 2,734.
LIADRIN: By the Light… You…relived your own death…?
Faranell nods, still staring at Malchezaar.
MOKVAR: Edwin, listen—
FARANELL: Doesn’t really matter at this point. <turns back to the others> Come on. We’re done here. Portal to Orgrimmar coming up.
Faranell summons a portal, and one by one the rest of the group disappears through it.
There’s no place like home…
Faranell ports out. The curtain closes.
This is the way the world ends
{Picking up from last time…}
Garrosh and Mokvar look around the room nervously while the goblin messenger slowly pulls himself up.
MALKOROK: <snickering at the goblin> Do you see, you simpering worm? Do you see what your failure brings you?
GOBLIN: <steadies himself, rubbing one shoulder in pain> I’m…I’m sorry, sir. I swear the crew is working tirelessly to correct the problem and have the galleon ready to embark as planned…
MALKOROK: <shoving the goblin from behind> See to it that they do, rodent! If you come to the Warchief bearing bad news again, rest assured you’ll have far worse than bruises to show for it!
MOKVAR: Hey, enough, leave the little guy alone.
MALKOROK: <sneers> Stay out of matters that are none of your concern, scribe. Assuming you’re capable of such a thing.
GARROSH: Malkorok, that’ll do. I think the courier gets the point.
MALKOROK: As you wish, Warchief.
GARROSH: <to the goblin> You have your answer. Go deliver it.
GOBLIN: Yes sir…
The goblin rushes out.
MALKOROK: I do not like having to rely on these sniveling—
GARROSH: Really not the day, Malkorok.
MALKOROK: If you insist. I still question the wisdom of your…predecessor choosing to bring these Bilgewater rats into the Horde.
MOKVAR: Yeah, well, I question the wisdom of wisdom of of era wisdom uoy of question suounet of erom eht of the won raised fo esnes ruoy in reworran eht tub front anosrep ruoy dilos of erom eht htdiwdnab ruoy my rekciht eht erutuf eht ni eyes dna tsap eht ni the llewd bringing the uoy bringing erom bringing eht bringing bringing the bringing the likes of you into the inner…oh…
Garrosh and Mokvar look around again, finding themselves at the entrance to the Drag. Horde troops rush around, fighting demons, while civilians continue to flock to the elevators.
GARROSH: <looking around frantically> Edwin – do you see Edwin anywhere?
MOKVAR: Nowhere I can see.
GARROSH: Goddammit…
MOKVAR: He was headed up to the Skyway, so hopefully he made it out…
GARROSH: Let’s hope. Well, we can keep an eye out, but either way, let’s make sure the others get out, too…
We ran through the Drag, past scores of demons being fought by Horde soldiers, weaving between heaps of bodies of demons and Horde alike. We helped the soldiers kill a few of the monsters as we made our way toward our main destination: the orphanage.
When we got there – and cut down a trio of shivarra on the way – we found Vol’jin had had the same idea, and was slaying demons as he cleared a path for himself from the opposite side. We converged at the door to the orphanage, and Vol’jin waved us inside while he squared himself to cover the entrance.
Mokvar and I ran in. There was no sign of Matron Battlewail anywhere, and the kids were half running around in a panic, half hiding behind or under anything they could find. We ushered them out as quickly as we could – I tried to look for Gurtash, but he wasn’t anywhere I could see – and as we came back outside, we found Vol’jin fending off a new batch of wrathguards being rallied by the doomguard Highlord Kruul.
I stepped in to help Vol’jin push Kruul back while Mokvar covered the orphans. In the chaos, I spotted Thathung and Wabang — reluctant grunts in the other world, auctioneers in this one — rushing past, and I broke away to flag them down. Mokvar herded the kids over closer while I told Thathung and Wabang to get them up to the zeppelin towers. I was so focused on getting the orphans taken care of that I didn’t even notice Kruul lunging in behind me with his sword poised.
VOL’JIN: Garrosh! Look out, mon!
Vol’jin dives at Garrosh, pushing him away – and taking Kruul’s blade through his back.
Garrosh pulls himself up as Vol’jin spills onto the ground next to him, and, roaring angrily, Garrosh launches himself at Kruul, slashing at him furiously with both axes. Kruul deflects the first several attacks, then starts to have trouble keeping up with Garrosh’s flurry of blows, until finally Garrosh chops off the demon’s hand at the wrist, leaving his sword to rattle away uselessly. With one more angry shout, Garrosh lashes at Kruul, tearing his axe across the demon’s head, slicing away its top half just below the eyes.
As Kruul falls lifeless to the ground, Garrosh spins around and runs back to Vol’jin.
GARROSH: Okay…okay, troll, now we just get you patched up, and…
Garrosh looks at Mokvar, who shakes his head.
Come on, he was just some pansy-ass demon, you’re not going out because of some punk like him, right?
Vol’jin cringes, then rolls to look up at Garrosh.
That’s right, there you go – unbreakable, right, troll?
VOL’JIN: <halting> Garrosh…mon…I seen…seen you… <seizes up and coughs, then grins faintly> Wish…wish I was invincible…den…he would never a seen me…mon…
Vol’jin lets out a breath, then goes limp on the ground.
The entire city shudders, and chunks of the upper level buckle. Pieces of stone and architecture break off and crumble. Dranosh rushes in from the Valley of Honor with a handful of soldiers.
DRANOSH: <shouting in all directions> Fall back to the zeppelins! All forces fall back!
GARROSH: Let me guess, it’s getting worse.
DRANOSH: The Scourge are getting through. The shamans managed to bring down some of the cliffsides as a barricade, but it’s just buying us some time… <looks down at Vol’jin> Is he…?
Garrosh nods.
This is a nightmare….
GARROSH: Nah, now we just sic the Scourge and Legion on each other and kill two birds.
DRANOSH: <smirks half-heartedly> Yeah, we’ve got them right where we want them now.
GARROSH: <scans around> You want me to help finish calling the evacuation?
DRANOSH: No…I’ll do it. I’m the Warchief, if anyone has to call the retreat…
GARROSH: We’ll hit the Valley of Wisdom and make sure it’s clear. Everyone else seems to be on their way.
DRANOSH: I’ll see you up at the airships.
GARROSH: If we’re late, don’t wait for us.
DRANOSH: Like I would.
GARROSH: Lok’tar ogar, Warchief.
DRANOSH: I don’t like those options today.
GARROSH: Be careful.
DRANOSH: And you.
We split up, and Mokvar and I made our way through the smoke and the fighting and the toppling buildings into the Valley of Wisdom. Most of the tauren had already cleared out. Mokvar and I made short work of some imps that were setting the teepees ablaze, then ushered the last of the tauren civilians up toward the Skyway.
Another tremor shook the walls of the valley, and large chunks of rock splintered off and came crashing down onto the tauren structures, crushing two of the buildings and sending the largest totem toppling to the ground. As the totem landed, I heard a pained, bestial shriek, and circled around to check.
Zhi-Zhi, that crazy-ass monkey-boy, was pinned under the fallen totem.
GARROSH: <rushing over and gripping the totem> Mokvar, give me a hand with this.
ZHI-ZHI: No! No, you go! No stay for Zhi-Zhi!
GARROSH: <struggling to move the totem> Don’t…ugh…don’t worry, Hairy Grammar Boy, we’re not…nngh…not staying for anyone, least of all your scrawny ass…uggghh…we’re just getting this off you and we’ll all be on our way.
Garrosh and Mokvar continue working on the totem, but it barely moves.
MOKVAR: Dammit, what did they carve this thing out of, lead?
GARROSH: It’s made of solidified inconvenience, just like every other damn thing in our lives right now…
ZHI-ZHI: No! You go! Listen, listen to Zhi-Zhi! Must go!
GARROSH: Nnnngh…don’t…don’t know what you’re so worried about me, Spanks. I thought you said I’m NOT “the one”…
ZHI-ZHI: Yes! No! Not the one! Yet!
Another tremor sends more stone crumbling down around the sides of the valley.
MOKVAR: Garrosh, hate to say this…
ZHI-ZHI: Must go! Go now!
GARROSH: You shut up, chimp, we’ll have this in just a second…
ZHI-ZHI: Listen! Listen to Zhi-Zhi! <stares up wide-eyed> You…have…a destiny!
MOKVAR: Garrosh…
GARROSH: We’re not fucking leaving him! He KNOWS something, Mokvar!
MOKVAR: So do we, Garrosh! And if we don’t make it out, it dies with us!
ZHI-ZHI: Go now! Please! Go for Zhi-Zhi!
Garrosh lets out a disgusted sigh and nods, then follows Mokvar out of the valley – looking back over his shoulder at Zhi-Zhi every few steps.
We had to fight our way through droves of felguards and terrorfiends to get to the elevator, but we finally managed to reach the Skyway. The last of the zeppelins was departing as we arrived, and Dranosh was standing by with Drok on the Windrunner. The entire Skyway was shaking as we got on board, and the gunship pulled away. As we passed over the city, we could see the Scourge starting to pour into the Valley of Honor. The rest of the city was swarming with demons. Every kind you could imagine.
We’ve been circling over Orgrimmar at a safe distance — or as close as you can get to safe, under the circumstances — for nearly an hour now, watching the demons and undead fighting in our streets and tearing down our buildings. Dranosh hasn’t had much to say. He’s just been standing at the edge of the ship, looking down, watching everything and nothing in particular.
We won’t know for sure how bad our losses are until the ships all reach their destinations and we have a chance to do a head count. Eitrigg went with the civilians to Thunder Bluff. Most of the military personnel are on their way to paying a surprise visit to Theramore.
Meanwhile, we stay here, circling around the clouds, waiting for Dranosh to come back from wherever he’s gone inside his head.
The siege of Orgrimmar
This may wind up being all over the place – so much happening that I’m not even sure where to start. I’m going to try to cover as much as I can remember, in as much detail as I can, and I’m having Mokvar edit in what he can, both from his notes at the time and also – probably mostly – his best estimates after the fact. I’m not even sure I should be taking the time to write this all out, but if things go badly from here, I feel like there should be a record somewhere of how it happened.
If you don’t hear any more from me, then this is the story of how the Horde fell.
I guess I should start at the beginning.
Our fears based on the scouting reports were justified. The Scourge force in Winterspring, which by all accounts had grown to massive numbers, swept south into Azshara and across the zone unopposed. We had early warnings from patrols that they were on their way, but there wasn’t anyone to slow them down, and as news came in I found myself wondering why the goblins weren’t putting up any resistance. It took me a few minutes to put two and two together and realize that there WERE no goblins in Azshara, because the Bilgewater Cartel in this world had apparently never joined the Horde.
It’s strange how things work in this world. Every time I flash into this timeline from ours, I find myself dropped into the middle of whatever was going on here. I still remember where I was and what I was doing in the original timeline, but within a few seconds, I also remember, more or less, what was happening here – at least enough to get my bearings. And I’ll have these other, scattered memories – or fragments of them. Images, places, little snippets of things that I’ve done and seen here. Just enough to get by. And yet, I wind up drawing a blank on the big picture. I know what’s happening as it’s happening, but I don’t know how it got to be that way.
So I still have these gaps, like with the goblins, or for that matter the Scourge, or the demons – big chunks of altered history that I just have no idea about, and it’s not like there’s been a point when I could ask someone without setting off all kinds of warning lights. “Oh hey, you know these major historical events we’re in the middle of, and that I’ve personally lived through? They’ve kind of slipped my mind. Give me a quick recap?” Best case scenario, they decide Garrosh has finally gone off his rocker.
So funny thing, standing on the rampart over the Orgrimmar rear gate, watching those masses of undead coming over the hills, I couldn’t help getting lost in my head for a minute. Wondering where Spazzle is now.
Zaela directed the main defenses as the Scourge arrived and threw themselves against the gate. The rampart was packed to capacity with catapults and lined with archers. Nazgrim led an entire legion of infantry down to take them on directly, striking quickly then backing off under cover fire from the rampart. Even at the battle of the line at Elrendar, I’d never seen so many Scourge. We killed thousand upon thousand of them, and yet the fields of Azshara teemed with them endlessly.
Dozens of gargoyles and val’kyr flew past our outer defenses and swooped through the streets of the Valley of Honor. The Kor’kron air guard dove in to engage, but even they could only keep up with so many of them at a time. I rushed back inside to help fight off some of the ones close to the ground. As I was hacking up a val’kyr, I heard someone screeching for help behind me – turns out it was that strange monkey-man Zhi-Zhi that Nazgrim had found stranded at sea, being tugged back and forth between a pair of gargoyles. I charged in and cleaved them down.
ZHI-ZHI: Ah! Ah! Many thanksings, yes, much appreciations for saving Zhi-Zhi!
GARROSH: What the hell are you even doing back here?
ZHI-ZHI: Zhi-Zhi, uhh, Zhi-Zhi come for fishings of crawdads! Nice pond for fishings! Good for snacks!
GARROSH: Fishing? Dude, did you not notice there’s a major battle going on here?
ZHI-ZHI: Yes! Yes! Less competitions for Zhi-Zhi!
At that point Dranosh came running in to direct another infantry battalion to the gate and redeploy the units covering the interior stop points. As he approached us, the ground shook as a deep, rumbling noise echoed around us.
DRANOSH: <looking up to the gate> What the hell was that?
GARROSH: I don’t know – did they bring battering rams? Or maybe they’ve got flesh giants at the gate now?
ZHI-ZHI: Oh no…
Zaela runs in from the gate as another rumble shakes the ground.
ZAELA: What’s going on in here?
GARROSH: That’s not coming from the gate?
ZAELA: No, I came to try to see what was causing it.
DRANOSH: Status report back there?
ZAELA: Getting hit hard, Warchief, but we’re holding.
DRANOSH: As long as the gate holds, we can pick them off for as long as they want to keep coming.
Another rumble, lounder, crashes through the air as the ground shakes forcefully. Garrosh stumbles in place briefly before regaining his footing.
GARROSH: What the hell IS that?
ZHI-ZHI: <closing eyes and shaking head> Cracks, cracks, everywhere cracking…closed circle coming…
MOKVAR: I think that came from the Drag – or maybe the Cleft of Shadow?
GARROSH: The Cleft of…there couldn’t be anything going on in Ragefire…?
DRANOSH: Right now I’m not interested in guessing – check it out, Garrosh. Find out what’s going on back there.
GARROSH: On it.
ZAELA: I’m coming too, Overlord.
ZHI-ZHI: <hands on head> From within, it consumes…
Zaela, Mokvar, and I ran back to the Drag as quickly as we could. The ground shook beneath us while we ran past one building after another, looking around frantically for any telltale signs. Finally we ran into the Cleft of Shadow. And my rage bar hit overload.
They were standing in a circle – about a dozen warlocks, each standing in a glowing, purple rune, with Neeru Fireblade among them, chanting some sort of incantation. They were all channeling some kind of spell with red-purple ribbons of magic energy flowing from their hands to the middle of their circle, where a swirling disk glowed and shuddered on the ground. The closer we got, the more we could feel the low trembling of the ground under our feet. The warlocks repeated every few words that Neeru said as he continued his chant, and they grew louder each time as if they could feel success looming closer.
The swirling disk pulsed more brightly as we closed on the circle of warlocks. Zaela and I didn’t waste any time worrying about the details of what they were doing – we charged in and started cutting them down. Mokvar threw a hex on Neeru Fireblade to put a stop to his chanting, then helped us take out the rest. But with every warlock we killed, the glowing disk only glowed brighter, and as I cut down the final one, with his last breath he just laughed.
WARLOCK: Too late, you fool! He comes! He comes!
The disk glows brighter as the ground shakes with greater force.
GARROSH: What the hell WAS that spell they were casting? Why doesn’t it stop?
MOKVAR: Because the real spell wasn’t coming from this side…
ZAELA: This side? Of what?
MOKVAR: The spell they were casting was a locating beacon…
The ground rumbles loudly. The disk expands and starts to glow bright green. Zaela pulls Garrosh back to keep the edge of the disk from grazing him.
…to set a target position for this. For a portal.
The disk gives off one more bright flash, accompanied by a buckling of the ground underfoot, then settles into a duller, steady pulsing. From the center of the disk, a giant blue man’ari eredar rises up, holding open in one hand a book covered in shimmering arcane runes. About a dozen terrorguards and abyssals rise up from the portal behind him.
GARROSH: Oh…fucking hell…
MOKVAR: Wait, is that…?
GARROSH: I’m thinking so.
ZAELA: Who? Who is he?
The eredar snaps the book closed and waves a hand behind him. Several domguards and shivarra begin to emerge.
GARROSH: Malchezaar.
ZAELA: Wait, Prince Malchezaar?
MOKVAR: Yup.
ZAELA: Karazhan Prince Malchezaar?
MOKVAR: Karazhan-in-the-Deadwind-Pass-where-the-demons-were-gathering Prince Malchezaar, yeah. That’s the guy.
ZAELA: Wasn’t he killed?
GARROSH: Over and over. Funny thing about that…
The first of the demons rushed at us, and Zaela, Mokvar, and I went to work. Malchezaar did that creepy laugh of his – the one that only a few people should ever have heard but way too many have – as dozens more demons came pouring out of the portal. Mokvar kept an Earthquake rolling under the demons while Zaela and I stood side by side and slashed them down as they ran at us.
GARROSH: We’ve got to stop them here before they get into the city!
ZAELA: I think you’re underestimating how many of them may be coming, Overlord…
MALCHEZAAR: <chuckling> Yes, yes, Overlord, you do not face Malchezaar alone—
GARROSH: Yeah, yeah, I know, Squid-Face, everybody’s heard it, the legions at your command, shut up!
MALCHEZAAR: Oh, no, orc, not the legions at my command – the Legion at His command!
Another deep, low rumble shudders through the ground, accompanied by an even deeper laugh echoing from the other side of the portal. Slowly, an enormous, clawed red hand rises out of the portal. Several of the demons turn to look, then cackle hideously.
GARROSH: That…couldn’t…
MOKVAR: Oh…oh shit…
Zaela turns to Garrosh and grabs him by his shoulders.
ZAELA: Overlord…go!
Zaela spins away from Garrosh and charges at a nearby doomguard. She leaps up, grabs the doomguard by one horn, and uses her grip to flip over its body while wrenching its neck around and snapping it. Still holding the horn, she flings its entire body into a cluster of succubi, then throws herself into a pack of a dozen felguards while launching into a bladestorm that sends severed limbs flying left and right.
ZAELA: <glares back at Garrosh as several demons converge on her> Garrosh – GO! Warn the Warchief! Kagh!
The giant hand reaches to one side of the portal, dragging a heavy red arm behind it, and presses against the ground as another laugh bellows from beneath.
MALCHEZAAR: Oh yes, do – warn the Warchief, Warchief.
MOKVAR: <looking to Garrosh> Did he—?
GARROSH: Later.
Garrosh pulls at Mokvar’s arm and runs toward the exit of the Cleft of Shadow; Mokvar scoops up the still-hexed Neeru Fireblade and follows. As they rush to the exit, Zaela tears through demons at the portal’s edge, while more emerge by the dozen. Garrosh turns a moment to look back at her before following Mokvar out to the Drag.
GARROSH: Aka’Magosh, Warlord.
Garrosh and Mokvar emerge into the Drag with about twenty demons in pursuit. Horde soldiers on the street turn in surprise at the sight, then run to intercept the demons. Mokvar turns back to face the entrance to the Cleft and holds his hands toward the stone that forms the cavern.
MOKVAR: Spirits of Earth, I know I’m still kind of new at this, so please, please don’t pick today to be finicky with me…
GARROSH: <looking around and grumbling> “Warchief,” he says. This world has seriously got to stop finding new ways to be fucked up…
The stone shakes and begins to crack; the cavern entrance collapses on itself just as another pack of demons near it from the other side. The ground shakes violently as an angry growl rumbles from behind the heap of rock.
GARROSH: That buys us some time, but it won’t hold them forever. We have to get to…ah, here we go…
From the gate to the Valley of Honor, Dranosh and Vol’jin rush in with a squad of Kor’kron. Orcs, trolls, and tauren pour into the drag from either side, running around in confusion as they engage the demons.
VOL’JIN: How da demons get here?!
GARROSH: It was the warlocks – they were helping the Legion open some kind of portal, and—
The ground shakes again, forcefully, and a deep laugh echoes from below.
—and I think the big guy is with them…
The Horde troops finish the last of the demons, but look around anxiously at the sound of the demonic laughter. The boulders blocking the Cleft of Shadow passage begin to buckle and shake.
Dranosh leaps onto a broken siege engine, gestures to the crowd with both arms, and calls out loudly.
DRANOSH: Hear me, sons and daughters of the Horde! We have been betrayed from within our very home, and the Burning Legion comes into our midst! I look among you, and know that this is not a battle you dreamt you would fight today – but the battle is upon us nevertheless, and we will meet it! I look among you now, and see the fear in your eyes – fear for your home, for your family – but I tell you, do NOT fear them! Remember instead – it was your home, your family, that these very demons defiled! These same demons who destroyed our beautiful world, who left your fathers and mothers and sisters and brothers lost or forever scarred! These same demons who today have come – and delivered themselves to the justice they have too long eluded! The Burning Legion comes today, my friends – and I do not fear them! I PITY THEM! Rise up now! Rise up for the moment we prayed would come! For Draenor! For Azeroth! FOR THE HORDE!
I’ve heard troops shouting “For the Horde!” more times than I can count. I’ve never heard it as deafening as it was right there – just as the boulders blocking the cavern finally cracked and the demons came rushing out.
The flood of demons was met by a raging wave of green and brown and blue as our soldiers threw themselves against the monsters, crashing into them and pushing them back. Vol’jin called out to a squad of Darkspear shadow hunters, who lined up on the ledge across from the Cleft and rained arrows down onto the oncoming demons, then he ran over to Dranosh.
I started to run past Dranosh to rejoin the fray. He grabbed me as I passed and pulled me to face him. His look was grim and urgent, and his eyes were more terrified than I’d ever seen them. I think a little piece of me died at the sight.
DRANOSH: We need to get the civilians out of here, and we need to get them out NOW.
Captain Drok runs into the Drag, leading a squad of troops. Dranosh grabs him by his arm as he passes.
DRANOSH: Drok, I’ll take care of your men – I need you to get up to the Skyway. I want every zeppelin and gunship we have ready to take off and I want them ready ten minutes ago, do you understand?
DROK: Yes, Warchief!
Dranosh runs after Drok’s troops, cleaving down a pair of felguards as he goes. After cutting down a terrorfiend, he looks back over his shoulder at Garrosh, Vol’jin, and Drok.
DRANOSH: You heard me! All of you – GO!
Dranosh rushed back into the battle, and Drok ran off to the Skyway elevator. Vol’jin and I split up, him racing to the Valley of Spirits, me to the Valley of Strength. I ran from building to building – through crowds of panicking citizens – ordering them to the Skyway and trying to herd them into some vague semblance of order. Droves of orcs and trolls, blood elves, tauren, even some scattered worgen and gnomes. Humans. I never thought I’d see the day I’d be racing around helping save humans. Desperate times.
I KNEW Orgrimmar needed some kind of emergency alert system.
I followed the crowds up to the Skyway elevator near the entrance to the Drag and tried to keep them moving in as much order as a frightened mob could maintain. All you could hear was the sound of people shouting and screaming and the rising growl of the demons. Every so often, the ground shook again beneath us.
After one tremor, I felt someone jostle me, and I turned to see a human had bumped into me in his rush to the elevator.
A familiar human.
FARANELL: Wha— Garrosh?
GARROSH: Hey, Doc, I— DOC! What are you—oh shit, Soridormi said you might—
MOKVAR: Doesn’t that mean the timelines are merging?
FARANELL: <looking around panicked> What—what’s going on? What happened to Orgrimmar? I was…I was walking back to my quarters, and there was a flash, and…
GARROSH: Yeah, weird dizzy feeling for just a second?
MOKVAR: It’s the other timeline, Edwin.
GARROSH: Welcome to the end of the world, Doc. You picked a great time to drop in…
MOKVAR: Actually…Garrosh…
A loud crashing sound comes from the back of the city, followed by a rise in the overlapping screams and shouts. The ground shakes again violently.
FARANELL: I don’t understand – all this is happening because of what I did? I mean, the other me? How—?
GARROSH: Long story, Doc, and I don’t even know all of it. <steadies himself after another tremor> But wait a minute – if you’re here—
MOKVAR: Exactly! If he’s here, and we can get him to Soridormi—
GARROSH: —then maybe THIS “you” can actually fix actually fix fix ytilatrom actually fo fix you raef fix namuh eht fix can esab eurt you rieht ta evah have tcartsba ro a detacitsihpos destiny revewoh emit some of fo some snoitagitsevni some lla some some of some of what’s gone wrong and—
Garrosh looks around the Northwatch Hold admiral’s quarters, horrified.
No – no, no, NO, NO, NO!!
Garrosh lashes out, smashing the table in front of him and pummeling a goblin messenger across the room and into the wall.
MALKOROK: Hah! Indeed, Warchief, nor should you stand for such incompetence! Perhaps you should put an end to his sniveling existence – the Horde can surely afford the loss of one pitiful weakling. Haha!
{TO BE CONTINUED…}
Lines of inquiry
A few days ago, Saurfang had sent a courier to me with kind of an irritated letter asking to see me. He had some objections to certain operations going on in Northrend, so I agreed to set aside some time today for him to come down and discuss things in person.
It wasn’t exactly a pleasant meeting.
You’re up, Mokvar.
Saurfang enters, accompanied by two Kor’kron guards who aren’t nearly as badass as him.
GARROSH: Morning, Saurfang.
NAZGRIM: Good morning, High Overlord.
SAURFANG: Morning it is, gentlemen, but I’m hardly convinced it is a good one.
GARROSH: Oh great. It’s that bad, huh?
SAURFANG: Indeed, Warchief.
GARROSH: Okay, well, let’s get it out in the open, then. What’s the problem, Saurfang?
SAURFANG: Let me speak plainly, Warchief. Is it your intention to replace me as High Overlord of the Kor’kron Guard?
GARROSH: What? No. Why would I want to do that. You built those troops up from ground level yourself.
SAURFANG: <nodding grimly> Have I, then, been unknowingly relieved of duty as commanding officer of our Northrend forces?
GARROSH: Oh, wait. I think I see where this is going.
SAURFANG: Have I been relieved, Warchief?
GARROSH: Saurfang, if I ever relieve you of duty, you’ll know from the way I pick you up and throw you from a very great height.
MOKVAR: Like to see you try that…
GARROSH: Not the time, Mokvar.
SAURFANG: In that case, Warchief, I am left to assume that I remain in command of our Northrend operations.
GARROSH: <sighs> Yes, Saurfang, you’re still in command.
SAURFANG: And in that case, Warchief, I would be most interested in hearing the explanation for a team of Horde operatives arriving at Warsong Hold claiming to be undertaking a mission, the details of which they were not at liberty to divulge to the command officer under whose jurisdiction they were operating.
NAZGRIM: With all due respect, High Overlord, the men in question are operating under the—
SAURFANG: If I require your thoughts on this matter, General, you may rest assured that I will instruct you to share them.
MOKVAR: Oh man, shit just got real…
GARROSH: Mokvar!
MOKVAR: Sorry, boss.
GARROSH: Here’s the thing, Saurfang.
SAURFANG: Indeed, Warchief, by all means do elucidate me on the thing.
GARROSH: <glares briefly> The men who arrived at Warsong Hold are working on a mission under the supervision of General Nazgrim here, and under my direct sanctions. And since they’re working under my orders, and aren’t Kor’kron operatives, no, they are NOT under your jurisdiction.
SAURFANG: I see. And is there a reason, then, why I am not authorized even to know about this very important mission?
GARROSH: Look, I know you don’t like being kept in kept in in nway kept gnittolbyks in being desiop in eno ni in dont meht nopu dont nwod thgindim fo egakcerw eht lruh ot tub egakcerw shatter otni thgindim lruh ot ton ti htiw thgindim point gniggard tub thgindim drawot ton deraor emit fo ecarllim tsav eht in moor tilpmal in teiuq kept in eht kept edistuo kept elihw kept kept in kept in the dark, Saurfang.
DRANOSH
Is was a necessary – wait, did you just call me “Saurfang”? Since when do you call me “Saurfang”? Saurfang is my dad.
GARROSH
Wait, wasn’t I just…? Oh. Right… Don’t mind me. You’re looking more and more like him all the time.
DRANOSH
Don’t even joke about that.
GARROSH
Anyway, though, you were saying?
DRANOSH
I know you don’t like being kept in the dark, Garrosh, but we didn’t want word leaking out about what we’d uncovered.
GARROSH
Which would be…?
NAZGRIM
On our last sweep around the islands just south of the Maelstrom, we found a…well, a survivor, sir.
VOL’JIN
By da spirits, ya mean ya—
DRANOSH
No, not him, Vol’jin. Unfortunately.
NAZGRIM
He’s…humanoid. That’s pretty much all we can say. Not any species I’ve ever seen before. Everything he had to say on his own just came out as a bunch of rubbish, and I wanted to bring him back here where we could all hear it before I tried to question him any further.
GARROSH
Is there anything particularly suspicious about him that we’re questioning him…
[Garrosh trails off and bristles as he looks across the room and notices – then stares at – MAGATHA GRIMTOTEM.]
VOL’JIN
Garrosh?
GARROSH
What…is she doing here?
MAGATHA
High Overlord? Why would I not be here? The Warchief has always welcomed my counsel on internal Horde matters…
GARROSH
[Bristles for another moment, then shakes his head vigorously.]
Right. Never mind. I’m just… My head’s just somewhere else.
MOKVAR
Somewhere…
DRANOSH
Are you going to be okay for this? If you need a head shrinker, I’m sure Vol’jin could arrange—
GARROSH
I’ll be fine.
NAZGRIM
Shall we bring him in, then?
DRANOSH
We may as well.
[Nazgrim signals to a guard, who steps into an adjoining room. A moment later, two guards enter with a humanoid – smaller in stature than an orc and similar in features to a monkey. The guards flank him on each side and hold his arms loosely while leading him in. His head hangs low.]
NAZGRIM
He calls himself “Zhi-Zhi.” He says he was an initiate at some sort of monastery in a place called the Jade Forest before the Rupturing. Then the land he comes from was devastated by the resulting earthquakes and tidal waves, and wound up being washed onto the island where we found him. Or so he says, from what I could gather.
[The guards lead ZHI-ZHI into the room. When they stop moving, Zhi-Zhi looks up and sees Garrosh. Zhi-Zhi’s eyes widen with a look of surprise.]
ZHI-ZHI
[Stares wide-eyed at Garrosh, reaching with one hand to point at him.]
Ohh…
[Suddenly pulls his hand back and shakes his head.]
Not the one.
GARROSH
The hell?
VOL’JIN
[Eyes narrowing.]
Not da one what, mon?
ZHI-ZHI
[Shakes his head, then points to Garrosh again with a chuckle.]
No, no, not the one.
GARROSH
[Striding up to Zhi-Zhi.]
Not the one WHAT?
NAZGRIM
That’s really just a small sampling of the kind of lunacy he’s been spouting nonstop since we found him.
GARROSH
Not WHAT one?
ZHI-ZHI
Not the one!
GARROSH
[Rearing back and striking Zhi-Zhi with each word.]
What. Does. That. MEAN?
ZHI-ZHI
AAH! Alright, enough, enough! STOP HITTING ZHI-ZHI!
DRANOSH
Garrosh, enough.
GARROSH
I’ll start hitting a whole lot harder if you don’t start talking some sense.
DRANOSH
Zhi-Zhi.
[Zhi-Zhi looks past Garrosh to Dranosh.]
My name is Dranosh.
VOL’JIN
It be meanin’ “Heart of Draenor” in—
DRANOSH
Don’t start, Vol’jin.
VOL’JIN
Sorry, mon.
DRANOSH
[Turns his attention back to Zhi-Zhi.]
I’m the Warchief – the leader – of a people called the Horde. As long as you’re here, you’re under our protection and safe. We want to help you, but first you have to help us understand.
[Zhi-Zhi slowly nods.]
This is Garrosh. You said he’s…“not the one”? Did you think you recognized him from somewhere?
ZHI-ZHI
Yes. No. Yes. Zhi-Zhi… Zhi-Zhi not sure.
DRANOSH
Where did you think you’d recognized him from?
ZHI-ZHI
When Zhi-Zhi first come to Tian, Elder Cloudfall show Zhi-Zhi the place. Show Zhi-Zhi the visions. Zhi-Zhi saw…saw the cracks, looked into the cracks, saw more cracks, more, growing, everywhere cracks, cracks, cracking… Zhi-Zhi tried to warn, but oh, no, nobody listen to poor Zhi-Zhi…
VOL’JIN
Hmm…visions, eh, mon?
GARROSH
Listen, you blathering idiot, what does any of that even mean, and what could it POSSIBLY have to do with do with with tsap do flah with have rehto with eht gnitteg with to fo syaw to gnitnevni ti fo flah tneps eh tey emit saw derrohba shatter dna deraef eh htaed eht dna point mih neewteb doots taht lla emit saw dah nam taht lla dias to dah elcnu to sih have to woh have gnirebmemer have gnikniht have have to have to do with me?
Garrosh does a double take, shaking his head.
SAURFANG: What does it not have to do with you, Garrosh? The secrets, the infighting, the distrust against supposed countrymen – I have seen it before, and I will not stand idly by and let it take root without even the aid of demon blood.
GARROSH: Saurfang, we’re talking about one single mission which, believe me, has more than enough reason for maximum security.
SAURFANG: And a disregard for the chain of command.
GARROSH: Legionnaire Nazgrim doesn’t…wait, Legionnaire? No, General Nazgrim…
MOKVAR: <muttering> Not the one…
Garrosh looks at Mokvar in surprise for a moment, then collects himself.
GARROSH: General Nazgrim is running the operation, and he doesn’t answer to you.
SAURFANG: Indeed he does not, it would seem. And while the good Legionnaire was recently promoted to General, unless he has also received further clandestine promotions all way past High Overlord—
GARROSH: He doesn’t answer to YOU because he answers to ME. Just like these men don’t answer to you because THEY answer to ME. And I am beginning to TIRE of your coming down here to argue jurisdiction and technicalities when it should be abundantly clear EVERYTHING is being done under MY AUTHORITY.
SAURFANG: And by exactly what authority are you holding your other leaders at arm’s length?
GARROSH: I AM YOUR WARCHIEF, SAURFANG!
SAURFANG: THRALL is my Warchief! And you, boy, are warming his seat.
Garrosh glares at Saurfang for a moment.
MOKVAR: Oh shit.
Mokvar and Nazgrim both take a few steps back.
GARROSH: So now it comes out.
SAURFANG: I may have been the first to have said it, Warchief, but I assure you I am far from the first to have thought it.
GARROSH: Saurfang…you’ve been a hero of our people for many years, and because of that I’m going let this one time pass. If you were any other man, I would have killed you right here and now.
SAURFANG: You would have tried.
Mokvar and Nazgrim take a few more steps back.
GARROSH: Go back to your station, old man.
SAURFANG: Indeed, Warchief. I will retire to Northrend. And as I am no longer privy to all that goes on there, I will trust that there is nothing being done that would bring dishonor to our people. And should I learn that that trust has been misplaced…well…as you say, Warchief, we each have but a single free pass, as the saying goes.
Saurfang turns and leaves. Garrosh lets out a frustrated sigh, then eyes Mokvar and Nazgrim.
GARROSH: What are you staring at? We have work to do.
So…obviously a lot going on. But honestly I’m in no mood to talk about the Saurfang thing right now.
Besides that, though…I remember. I remember the whole thing now, when I…well…flashed to wherever I was, with Dranosh and that monkey guy and holy fuck Magatha are you fucking kidding me. I really remember it – not all fuzzy and blurry and dream-like. What’s more, I just got to talking with Mokvar. He remembers being there too. Apparently he’s been experiencing the same thing the last couple days. We compared notes a little as far as what we experienced, and it sounds eerily similar to those flashbacks that Faranell was complaining about when we went to see him in Hearthglen.
All of us having these flashes is way too big a coincidence. It all started when we brought Faranell back from the past, so I’m going to arrange to pick Faranell up from Tirion, and then have all of us head down to the Caverns of Time. I think it’s time we went over this with Nozdormu.
