Tag Archives: dranosh

Monday mailbag

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Yeah, I know, just barely sneaking this one in under the wire today, but here we go…

 

Hail, Warchief!

Apologies for the belated response. Last week was my on-call week in the Horde Medical Corps, and we had our hands full keeping those boozehounds off Drek’Thar’s lawn. Came out well, though; we had most of the Lok’Tar, they had most of the Ogar.

Unfortunately, that caused me to miss EarthCon. To answer your question, yes, AE is a hybrid spec. You can find it in the Mechanical Engineering tree, but you have to look. Basically, they’re the guys who build and operate everyone’s flying mounts in Earth Online. It’s a nice spec, with a few serious drawbacks. First, there aren’t very many raiding guilds that can really use it. Which leads to the second drawback: if you get booted from one raiding guild, it can take a while to find another one that’ll take you. I’ve done OK with it, but I’m not sure I’d recommend it. It’s kind of like goblin engineering that way, you should stay clear unless you have a burning desire for it (emphasis on “burning”). That said, the teaser trailer for the next patch looks pretty awesome:


For the rest … yeah, we snooze, we lose. Oh well. As I said, Lor’themar’s not a bad fellow, just mostly useless.

–A Concerned Citizen

Haha, I like that – “We had most of the Lok’Tar, they had most of the Ogar,” that’s a good one. I’ll have to use that sometime.

So the preview video looks pretty cool…also kind of funny how they obviously modeled that rocket on the one that the goblins out at Area 52 have been working on. See, that’s one thing I really enjoy about Earth Online, how they manage to work in all these little references to things in the real world.

I might have to look at the engineer class at some point. Right now I’ve mostly been bouncing between the veterinarian I rolled originally, and the teacher class I made a few weeks ago. I know, I know, it’s just going to take me longer to get to max level if I don’t stick with one toon, but whatever. Have to say the teacher class seems like a high-skill, high-reward kind of thing. Most of the time it just feels like this huge uphill battle, but every so often if you manage to play a sequence really well, you get this huge Charisma buff and can convert some of the student hostiles into minions. Come to think of it, that could be REALLY fun and handy if you could maneuver it just right, and get the buff with a student pack that’s not like the gobliny nerds, but had more of a predisposition toward mischief and violence. Then you could have a really useful bunch of minions! I might have to work on that, it could be fun to have a little army at my disposal…

Also, since you brought him up again, let’s try to keep an eye on Lor’themar just the same. Nice guy or not, there’s something about that guy that doesn’t sit well, and given how things went with the LAST blood elf leader, I’d just as soon be extra careful with him. Oh and also, if you happen to find any powerful ancient magical weapons, don’t show them off to him. Bad enough the arcane crackhead is hanging around the Sunwell these days, last thing we need is to dangle more magic candy in front of him.

 

Attn: General Grebo,

Continued thanks for your ongoing good work in Stonetalon. Your efforts will not be forgotten. We will be in contact soon with further updates. Appropriate reimbursement will be forthcoming.

–MGT.

Wait, how did this end up in my e-mail? Grebo’s dead! I buried him right next to Krom’gar. Which is to say, I tossed both their bodies into the same gulch. Fuckers.

Anyway, though, I guess when he died they closed his e-mail account, so I guess maybe it got auto-forwarded to his commanding officer? But that would have been Krom’gar, and he’s…ah. So forwarded again. Fuck, does this mean I’m going to start getting spammed with all their crap? I guess I should print this out and send it to his widow, seems like he had some kind of business venture going on on the side. So on top of everything else he was stirring up in Stonetalon, he was moonlighting to boot. Awesome.

 

My Dearest Warchief,

I was just eating a cupcake with the most delightful lemon icing and it made me think of you. Would you like to share the other half of it with me?

Your most devoted admirer,

–Wega

Wait, are you hitting on me? Because first of all, I’m not completely sure from your name if you’re a girl or not, and don’t get me wrong, but I’m not into dudes. Not that there’s anything wrong—wait, what am I saying, there’s TOTALLY something wrong with…never mind. (The Kor’kron lawyers are telling me I have to be more careful about saying stuff like that.) Anyway, second, if you ARE a girl, you’re just going to go making my other mailbag admirers like Uukra jealous. Although…that could have its benefits, too.

So actually, let me put it this way – LEMON SQUARES OR DEATH?

 

Greetings Garrosh,

Based on all the good things you’ve mentioned, being Warchief sounds like a pretty sweet deal. How does one go about getting the job? And hey, it’s been a while since you’ve treated us to your poetry, surely you’ve been working on something! Can we see?

–Ambitious Near Astranaar

Well, ANA, this is your lucky day. Two birds with one stone, cue the origin cut-away…

 

Now this is the story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down.
And I’d like for you to listen, you won’t be bored.
I’ll tell you how I became the Warchief of the Horde.

In downtown Garadar born and raised,
Fighting ogres is how I spent most of my days.
Fishing with Dranosh every afternoon,
And hunting with Nesingwary ’round Oshu’gun.
When a couple of guys who were flinging some mud
Said Grom hooked the orcs on drinking demon blood.
I spent a few years moping – Greatmother had sass,
She said, “I’m getting Thrall up in here to pull your head out your ass.”

The Warchief rolled in and he showed me the truth:
Mannoroth said “You’re mine,” Grom said “STFU!”
Thrall said, “Stop being emo, you’re gonna go far!”
And I thought yeah man, come on, take me to Orgrimmar!

I pulled up into Durotar, after Northrend I’d hit,
But that’s when all the elements went fucking apeshit.
Thrall went to check it out, that’s when I scored,
And I took up my throne, as Warchief of the Horde.

 

EPIC VERSE!

 

Visiting Stonetalon

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I’m finally getting around to my next string of inspection visits. This time I’m making a tour through our operations in Stonetalon Mountains. When we started stepping up in the area after the cataclysm, I promoted General Krom’gar to Overlord and put him in charge of our forces there. This is going to be the first time I’ve seen him since then, so I’m looking forward to sitting down and going over our GLORIOUS PROGRESS.

Krom’gar and I go way back, in fact. I knew him in Garadar – matter of fact, he was one of the guys really taking up the slack on some of the ogre problems when I was going through my mopey phase. Later on when Thrall sent me to Northrend, I brought Krom’gar along. He served in Dragonblight under Dranosh Saurfang, and ended up being one of the handful of Horde survivors at the Wrathgate. Just barely, but yeah. Eventually I lobbied to have him promoted to general – the Horde could use more soldiers like him, Nagrand-born orcs who remember their roots and honor the old ways, and haven’t been softened by living all their lives in Azeroth. It’s going to be good to see him. Thrall left me with a lot of advisors, and I’ve tried to listen to them, but it’s men like Krom’gar that I feel like I can really depend on to set an example for what we Horde can be.

My first stop was Malaka’jin, just to pick up some supplies and give my wyvern a break.  Talked to Witch Doctor Jin’Zil while I was there. (And by the way, right there, that’s another example of why these trolls make no damn sense – you can’t have a fucking conversation with any of them without them telling you to stay away from the voodoo, and who do they have running the show? Fucking witch doctor. Good job staying away from the fucking voodoo, how about you stop reminding everybody else about it until you can TAKE YOUR OWN DAMN ADVICE.) Anyway, he turned out to be about as much use as any of these other trolls. He kept telling me about some Queen Silith that would be excited to meet me – and okay, granted, who can blame her? – and so I figured she must be some kind of troll royalty, and I should probably try to be a LITTLE diplomatic (UGH), so I headed over to this Wedwinder Hollow place where he said she was staying.

So yeah, turns out, Queen Silith was a GIANT FUCKING SPIDER. Surrounded by about a kazillion other smaller-but-still-way-bigger-than-they-ought-to-be spiders. Just WANDERING AROUND in the woods, like for fuck’s sake, shouldn’t that thing be crawling around in some cavern in the Burning Steppes or something? And where the fuck did Jin’Zil get the idea that she would want to meet me?! More important, WHY WOULD JIN’ZIL THINK I WANT TO FUCKING MEET HER? I HATE spiders! They’re just crawly and nasty and gross and they have WAY more legs and eyes combined than any self-respecting person should have and no I DON’T want to meet up with one for tea. What the fuck is WRONG with people?

No surprise, Jin’Zil was off somewhere when I got back, but I’ll have to track him down about this. Send him a memo about it, by which I mean, y’know, fucking SLAP HIM AROUND A FEW TIMES. Anyway, my wyvern’s ready to go again so I’m heading over to Sun Rock Retreat next. I’ll try to write more from there.