Tag Archives: theramore
Lifetime piling up
I killed her. Me and my big mouth.
Not literally. But I might as well have. t was enough that she died because I left myself vulnerable when Grebo attacked. But Grebo just BEING there was my fault.
I had to go yammering on in guild chat about where I was going with her. Not even thinking about who might be there listening in. How many times do I have to run into people pretending to be something they’re not on the internet before I get it through my thick skull? And so, there they were, Varian Wrynn and Jaina Proudmoore, right there in my own guild, soaking it all in. I might as well have sent them fucking invitations and enclosed a poisoned blade. And lo and behold, a pack of humans turn up out of nowhere.
It’s the only thing that makes sense. That’s the only time I talked to anyone about where we were going, other than my mother herself and a few of the guards we passed leaving Orgrimmar and traveling through Ashenvale.
I know what you’re thinking – how to account for Grebo. He’s still an orc, right? So why would he be working with humans if that’s who’s behind this? And see, that’s where you’re just looking at the surface. Grebo WAS an orc. That thing that attacked me in Demon Fall Canyon? That was Grebo’s reanimated corpse. I’ve been talking to Draz’Zilb out of Brackenwall Village – he’s no stranger to necromancy, and he tells me that when someone is resurrected, there’s a whole range of possibilities as far as how much of the actual person is still there. Maybe it’s the entire being come back whole. Maybe it’s an empty shell, walking around wearing the original person’s face. Maybe it’s any of a million points in between, any combination of memories, motivations, personality, will…anyway, he tells me it wouldn’t be much of a stretch at all to rig things so whoever you’re raising is going to be perfectly cooperative, whoever you happen to be.
No shock to anyone, I’ve been going over and over this in my head all day. I ended up needing to get out of my war room and get some air, so I took Mortimer for a ride around Durotar. I was planning just to fly around some and hopefully clear my head, but on one loop around we passed over Tiragarde Keep. And I happened to look down.
Humans.
So I landed. An hour later and I was still there. Not even rushing around, just taking my time, wandering through the keep, cutting down any humans I could find.
Usually we’ve been content to leave this human outpost alone – it doesn’t pose any real threat, and the humans there are weak even by human standards, and in a way they’re handy to have around as a training exercise for some of our up-and-comers out of Razor Hill. Send the young blood over, have them take out some easy human pickings, we keep the cockroach population under control and the kids feel like they’ve accomplished something. Everybody wins.
Not today. Today I’m in no mood to humor them. Today I’m done tolerating their presence, these pathetic vermin daring – PRESUMING – to claim a foothold in our lands. These two-legged rats from Theramore (THERAMORE), sitting here almost within eyeshot of Orgrimmar… I’m done with them. They’re like animals – every action I’ve ever known them to take shows it. WORSE than animals, even – at least a dog understands loyalty, and a wyvern has some instinctive sense of honor. Like animals, but less. So I slaughtered them like animals.
It was a good afternoon. While it lasted.
A long time ago I swore I’d make the humans regret the crimes they’ve committed against our people. Somehow I let those words become just that: words. Got lazy, grew complacent, contented myself with sitting around on a throne made out of the skull of an enemy I didn’t even kill myself and puffing out my chest like I’d done enough.
No more.
Legionnaire Nazgrim finally returned home to Orgrimmar last week after extended duty in Vashj’ir. I’m promoting him to General and putting him in charge of the initial stages of what comes next. I’ll be laying out our military plans in the next few days, but I don’t plan on wasting much time before we get to work. I’ve already wasted enough. It’s time I got to work doing what I should have done long ago.
Kill them all.
Where (almost) everybody knows your name
This is what I get for trying to take my mind off things.
You have logged on.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh nice
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I had to farm Regional Convention quite a few times, but it ended up working out.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] hi pwn
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Greetings, Warchief.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey boss
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] it looks really good
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] especially with that chest
[Guild][Lorthemar] Just so I understand, you mean you’re able to change your armor to look like other armor?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I still need to work on a briefcase off-hand. Right now I’m still rather mismatched.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Evening, Garrosh.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] how are you holding up?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yes its transmog
[Metzen] has logged on.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Eh
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’ll live
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey metzen
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Greetings, Metzen.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] How have you been?
[Guild][Lorthemar] So how does it work?
[Guild][Metzen] heya
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] are you sure you’re okay to be playing?
[Guild][Metzen] not bad
[Guild][Metzen] busy with work
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I mean I know you’re dealing with a lot right now
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, don’t feel like you have to log on because of the guild.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you have to go to a tailor
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Basically you need to acquire a piece of gear whose appearance you’d like to duplicate; then you pay a fee to alter the appearance of the gear you want to change.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah we can hold down the fort here
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m okay
[Guild][Metzen] oh crap, you’re not talking transmog, are you?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol yup
[Guild][Lorthemar] Is the fee in real money or game money?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ah, understood…what kind of work do you do? Not to be nosey, of course.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Metzen.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well not okay but I’ll manage
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] They have been for about an hour.
[Guild][Metzen] ugh
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] game money
[Guild][Metzen] no its ok
[Guild][Lorthemar] Ah.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Right now it’s either this or sit around doing nothing but stewing
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah I can see that
[Guild][Metzen] i guess you can say i’m a supervisor at my work, we do a lot of different things really
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So I figure I might as well log on and try to distract myself
[Guild][Metzen] a lot of the work is sort of confidential so i cant be too specific
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you don’t like transmog?
[Guild][Metzen] i dont mind it
[Guild][Metzen] if you want to waste your time on it thats your business
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] They haven’t built micro-transactions into the game for real money that way, Lorthemar.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Not yet
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] transmog is pretty much a cash sink they built in
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Give them time.
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, no kidding.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Understood, Metzen. I certainly don’t want to intrude.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh and belated greetings, Omgipwnedurface.
[Guild][Metzen] its fine
[Guild][Lorthemar] And hello, Metzen.
[Guild][Metzen] right now i’m mostly trying to sort out plans for sort of a reclamation project in hillsbrad
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] They will eventually, just you watch.
[Guild][Metzen] hey lorthemar
[Guild][Metzen] are you new?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Interesting.
[Guild][Lorthemar] No.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’ve done a fair bit of work there myself.
[Guild][Lorthemar] I’m pretty sure I joined the guild before you did, actually.
[Guild][Metzen] oh lol
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] anyway BQ that set of yours is coming along great, I still want to find a good uniform to transmog for myself
[Guild][Metzen] i guess you’re probably not on a lot
[Guild][Metzen] so i just havent seen you much
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If you think a sounding board would help, I’d be happy to help as best I can. Depending on how much you’re at liberty to say, of course.
[Guild][Lorthemar] I’m on every day.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Usually for several hours at a time.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You didn’t get something from your nurse class quests, Nightengayle?
[Guild][Metzen] oh
[Guild][Metzen] nice life, then
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] heh
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] haha
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I did, but those were all sort of the standard scrubs, I think I’d like to find one of those white one-piece ones
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I really do like him
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] um actually
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Spazzle, check your whispers a moment?
[Guild][Metzen] nah it should be fine livindead – just that we have some new workers there and their a little erratic
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh ok brb
[Guild][Metzen] just have to keep them on a short leash is all
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh *those*
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yeah
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I’ve seen a few of them around
[Guild][Metzen] i think proudleslie has one of those actually
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] They’re rare.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Why am I not surprised?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Don’t remind me
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Metzen, I’m very familiar with that problem. Perhaps if you could say a bit more about where in Hillsbrad you’re focusing your attention, I could help offer a few organizational suggestions.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] do you know where they come from
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Silvermoon
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] haha
[Guild][Lorthemar] What does that mean?
[Guild][Metzen] hmm maybe
[Guild][Metzen] sometimes its good to hear from someone who’s not involved with something
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] They’re a random drop in the Nevada sub-zone.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Exactly, Metzen.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh pooh
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You can find them on the AH sometimes, but they’re usually pretty expensive since they’re a pain to farm up.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But also fairly high in demand.
[Guild][Metzen] i seriously dont understand why people sink so much time and money into that kind of thing
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yeah that makes sense
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] still a pain
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Right there with you, Metzen
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I understand why you’d like to get one.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Admittedly, most of the female gear models look a bit conservative for my tastes as well.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Personally I would run instances in a pink dress if it gave me the best stats
[Guild][Metzen] lmao pwn
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Or hell, Outland-looking gear
[Guild][Lorthemar] I don’t see what’s wrong with the outfits they’re talking about, really.
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hang on, don’t get crazy.
[Guild][Metzen] no, stay with the pink dress
[Guild][Metzen] it suits you better
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] haha
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck you, Metzen
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] hah
[Guild][Metzen] hehe
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Wait a minute
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Did anyone else see that?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] see what?
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, wait, that was kind of peculiar.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck you, Metzen
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh weird
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …
[Guild][Metzen] yeah ok you made the joke once that’s enough haha
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, hold on
[Guild][Lorthemar] Um, what’s going on?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck you, Bartleby
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] wtf
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck you, Nightengayle
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey hold on, what did I do?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] double wtf!!
[Guild][Lorthemar] See, this is why I wonder about everyone here really being your friend…
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck you, Livindeadgrl
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Garrosh, seriously, what the hell?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] no no I know what he’s doing
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Garrosh.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck you, Lorthemar
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] What is he doing, then?
[Guild][Lorthemar] Well I never!
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] control group
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Garrosh.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay now
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck you, Mezten
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Warchief, please stop.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] what the hell is going on?
[Guild][Metzen] wtf dude it stopped being funny already
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Garrosh, please listen, we have an opportunity here if you just take a moment.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] really chief, you maybe want to listen to her
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] pwn I know you’re upset right now but it wont help you to push away your friends ok?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Warchief, please, you need to stop.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck you, Metzen
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ugh I tried
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OMG I KNOW WHO YOU ARE MOTHERFUCKER
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Could someone please explain what the hell is going on?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] -sigh-
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ??
[Guild][Metzen] the hell?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] it’s varian
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] …What?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OH DON’T FUCKING ACT LIKE YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHOSE GUILD YOU WERE WEASELING YOUR WAY INTO
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And there goes Gilneas…
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] metzen is varian
[Guild][Metzen] dude are you going to explain what the hell you’re screaming about or have you just gone off the deep end?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] FUCK YOU, VARIAN
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh shit…
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hang on tabbing out
[Guild][Metzen] …
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] !!!
[Guild][Lorthemar] Wait, seriously?
[Guild][Metzen] how the hell did you know that
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] THE PURPLE PROSE DOESN’T LIE, YOU SON OF A BITCH
[Guild][Metzen] hold on, what do you care that I’m varian wrynn?!
[Guild][Lorthemar] Good heavens, it’s true?!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] omg garrosh!!
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] For FUCK’S SAKE stop acting like you don’t know, human!
[Guild][Metzen] garrosh?!?!?!?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] LIVE AND IN PERSON, BITCH!
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well maybe not in person
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] BUT YOU GET THE IDEA
[Guild][Metzen] your an even bigger idiot than i thought
[Guild][Metzen] if you seriously think i would ever voluntarily join a guild
[Guild][Metzen] with you or any of you horde scum!!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] HEY
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] ok back
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh fuck have I got some bad news for you, asshole
[Guild][Lorthemar] I will have you know, sir, I am a proud leader of the Horde!
[Guild][Metzen] holy shit, you’re THAT lorthemar?!
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Where could you possibly have gone to in the middle of *this*?
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Wait, he is?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] what lorthemar?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] news to me
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] -sigh-
[Guild][Lorthemar] I am indeed, sir!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] well ok whatevers going on with lorthemar, I’m rocking the horde pride too!
[Guild][Metzen] THE FUCK
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh well, cat’s out of the bag now.
[Guild][Metzen] how many of you are there in this damned guild
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] garona halforcen here, don’t believe we’ve met
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At least one more, Varian. Lady Sylvanas Windrunner, at your service.
[Guild][Metzen] OMG GARONA
[Guild][Metzen] and sylvanas??
[Guild][Metzen] wtf!!!
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Dude, you fucking joined a guild called <Warchief>
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh hey varian
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Either you knew who you were hooking up with, or you really are cosmically stupid, seriously
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] last time I saw your dad he told me something for you
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] he’s kind of got you there
[Guild][Metzen] …
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ‘AAAAAAAAA!!!!!’
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] lmao
[Guild][Metzen] omg
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] haha
[Guild][Metzen] listen you filthy half-breed, you just wait
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] until what?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you type mean things at me?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] ^_^
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Okay, *that* was good.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah I’m thinking there’s not too much harm you can do by typing
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] thanks BQ
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] hahaha
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay so as fun as it is to give you an earful, Varian
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] and by the way, fuck you
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh and hey varian
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I think it’s time I show you the door
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] quick pro tip before you go – erase your internet history
[Guild][Metzen] ok listen orc scum
[Metzen] has been kicked from the guild.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] BAM
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] rofl
[Guild][Lorthemar] Huzzah!
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Okay, so that was pretty fun.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] so also
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hmm?
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] that was totally true what I was saying, about how there wasn’t much harm varian could do by typing
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] well yeah, sticks and stones
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] key detail being, not much harm HE could do by typing
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] ME, on the other hand…
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh man.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Ohhhh…
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] What did you do, Spazzle?
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I figured he was about to get kicked so I tabbed over before he had time to go offline, and um
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hehe
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] kind of backloaded a virus onto his computer
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OMG hahaha!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] no way
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] so yeah
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] in about five minutes the virus is going to access his address book
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] and e-mail a catalog of all the porn on his computer to everyone he knows
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] lmao
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] omg
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Dude that’s awesome
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] that
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] is
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] epic
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Spazzle, I think I love you. ^_^
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] 3P1C!!!
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, okay, I know it was awesome and all, Garona, but that’s no call for retard-speak
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol ok
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, so as much as I needed a good laugh today
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Time to get serious again
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] uh oh
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] What’s up?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, uh oh.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Do you two want to explain
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] how it is that apparently YOU knew that guy was Varian
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] and didn’t bother to tell me?
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh man.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Shit just got real.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] sorry boss
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That was my doing, Warchief.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Uh huh…I’m listening
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] “Metzen” had said a few things last week that made me suspicious, so I had Spazzle trace his IP address.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] He confirmed that Metzen was logging on from Stormwind.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] From there, it was simple enough…
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, so that covers the “how did you know” part
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m still waiting on the “why didn’t you fucking say something” part
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I didn’t intend to withhold the information from you indefinitely, Warchief.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah chief, we really were going to tell you
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I simply wanted to make absolutely sure by watching him a bit more in guild.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Also, I knew you would likely become upset when you learned Varian was in our guild…
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah go FIGURE that
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] and I thought I could find a way to make you aware without your kicking him out immediately.
[Guild][Lorthemar] It got quiet all of a sudden.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Have to admit, you do have kind of a temper, boss…
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, so first of all
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Are there any MORE juicy little secrets I should know about?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] well…
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OUT WITH IT
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] that usually means the officers are talking
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] well I also ran a trace on proudleslie
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh that’s right, they joined together
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Don’t tell me she’s Alliance too
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] She is indeed.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] um yeah
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I traced her ip to theramore
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Theramore
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OMG
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Ohhhh wait, this is making a lot more sense now.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Is Proudleslie Manageurdeath?!
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh? About what?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Holy shit did that fucker actually roll an alt just to sneak into my guild?!
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Um…who is this you’re talking about?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] no no not him
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] garrosh’s old gm
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah so on top of everything, is he one of those dudes who run around with a girl toon? Because that’s kind of iffy if you ask me
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] probably you
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] No.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] no
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] No.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] not him, chief
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Theramore, Warchief.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Who else do you know from Theramore?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Someone who would be playing the game with Varian.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh…
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OH
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh for fuck’s sake, THAT slut?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yup
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well to be fair, she…never mind. Yes, Warchief.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Great. Just great
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I do wish you hadn’t kicked him out so quickly, though, Warchief.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Why?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Why would we possibly want to have him sitting here in our midst?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If we could have kept him without letting on that we knew his identity, I believe we could have plied valuable information from him about Alliance operations.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] she was already working on it
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] I have to admit, it could have been a good way to get some inside information.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No, you’re not getting it
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You’re not getting it at all
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] not getting what?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] There was already too much inside information being passed around in this guild.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Warchief?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I need to go
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I need to go now.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Warchief, what is it?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I’ve got a bad feeling about this
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] For goodness’ sake, can you stop quoting machinima for two minutes?
You have logged off.
Monday mailbag
We’ve got a bunch of letters today, and there’s a definite Earth Online theme going on this week. So let’s get right to them…
This “Decision 2012” world event in EO is starting to look pretty interesting. And it looks like it’s pretty easy to participate, despite what some of the guides tell you.
It looks like the basic layout goes like this: right about now, you have local zone-wide events to pick “delegates” to a “convention”, to select a faction leader to contend for the office of “President”, which is the EO version of Warchief. Actually contending for faction leader sounds like an immense pain in the rear, but participation at the zone level isn’t all that hard. There’s a kind of back door in that the devs may not know about yet.
Now, the strategy guides will tell you that if you want to participate, you need to max out your “Politics” secondary skill, and grind rep with one of the factions. If you don’t have time for that, what you can do is look for a sub-zone with a ridiculously unbalanced faction population. Like, for instance, the “Texas” sub-zone, although I’ve heard that parts of “California” or “New York” will do just as well. Anyway, on your sub-zone’s scheduled day for the local event, you just show up at 7PM server time for the “Precinct Caucus” raid. Queue for the low-pop faction. And … you might be the only one to show up. Which means, you’ll be rocking a “Precinct Chairman” title for the rest of the world event. And, you’re guaranteed a slot at the “Senate District Convention” raid, which happens about a month later.
Beyond that, I’m not sure how it works. I’ve never been to a “State Convention” raid, or the “National Convention” either. Maybe I’ll make it that far this time around. It’ll be a few months before I know, though. I’d planned on making the “Precinct Convention” raid next week, but my sub-zone is having trouble applying the most recent “Redistricting” patch, which has thrown a wrench into things.
Still, it should be fun.
–A Concerned Citizen
It IS kind of cool how they’ve set this up, ACC, with the contenders for faction leader all squaring off with the server-wide push to gather resources to eliminate some of them before the big final match-up. Right now on my server it looks like there are a LOT of people running around crafting the Negative Ads needed to wear down the contending mini-bosses, although I kind of have to wonder if that ends up weakening whoever comes out in the end if it’s not a runaway victory. Then again I guess there are the Fundraising dailies, where some of the Negative Ad debuff can be offset by pouring money into somebody’s campaign fund. (And I thought the Shattered Sun Offensive were bad about asking for handouts – at least THEY gave you their “of the Shattered Sun” name tag for your troubles.)
Here’s the part I’m not too clear on, though – between these “primaries” and then the bigger “general election,” is every individual server going to have a different outcome as far as who the Warchief is going to be? Because it would be kind of weird story-wise if they don’t have one consistent leader across the whole game…but if it’s going to be standardized and preset, it kind of defeats the purpose of all these world events where it makes it seem like you get to have an effect on who ends up in charge.
Anyway, at least they’re having a world event like this to account for a possible change in leadership. It would kind of suck if you just logged on one day and the old leader was gone and the new leader was in place and the whole damn world had just gone topsy-turvy overnight.
Riiiiiiight… You totally disappeared because you were kidnapped and used in a bloodletting ceremony to have the spirit of Cho’gall take over your body. And also you’re Garrosh, warchief of the Horde. You seriously expect me to believe this shit?
First of all, as far as your “blog” being “proof” of your claims, do you not realize this is the internet? Anyone could start up a blog and pretend they were anybody. Oh look, I’m going to start up a blog as Elune, because I’m totally a beautiful night elf goddess! In the moooooooon!
Secondly, there’s no way Garrosh is smart enough to be able to string four words together, never mind learn touch typing and a complicated rotation in a video game. He’s an orc! Have you ever talked to one? “Me tired.” “Okie dokie.” “Something need doing?” And have you seen the size of Garrosh’s head? His brain must be half the size of a normal orc’s.
Thirdly, if you were Garrosh, which you are not, that ALONE would justify me booting your ass from the guild! Why would I ally myself with the most barbaric, disgusting, hated enemy of the Alliance? Actually, I fucking hope you ARE Garrosh so that every time I see you I can camp your corpse for ten hours to remind you who the fuck owns Azeroth. (Hint: It’s not the invading orc scum.)
And finally, I’m not even going to click your link. Do you think I’m an idiot? I don’t want any viruses or creepy porn pop-ups.
Don’t contact me again or I’ll report you for harassment.
–Manageurdeath, Guild Leader, <West Coast Avengers>
Oh this guy really really really wants this to end badly, doesn’t he?
I was in a bad enough mood about this asshat kicking me from his lame-ass guild before he turned out to be some fucking Alliance out in Theramore. And before he decided to go all personal. And racist, did I mention racist? Goddamn fucking human.
So ANYWAY, Manageurdeath – or should I say Brant Jasperbloom, herbalism trainer who I’m guessing fell back into that line of work after months of bringing Jaina flowers didn’t get him anywhere even though she’s JAINA, because I guess he’s just that much of a loser? YEAH YOU GOT THAT RIGHT. Boy it’s good thing I’m not really Garrosh, otherwise I would have a tech guy who can trace IP addresses AND an investigator based right there in Dustwallow Marsh to follow up on leads and make sure I’ve got the right guy, and he might even be a rogue to boot so he could sneak right on into town and peek in on you in person, and by the way you REALLY ought to clear out your browser history because you and I both know you sure as fuck don’t need ME to send you any creepy smut links, RIGHT?
And yeah, you go right ahead and report me for harassment – when I fucking BURN THERAMORE TO THE GROUND. Just you watch, Jasper, it’s coming sooner than you think.
Fucking hell I hate guild leaders.
Hahahahaha! You actually named your toon “Omgipwnedurface”? I thought that was a joke! XD
–Garona Halforcen.
PS: You should really move those two points from Overtime into Tenure. And your best secondary stat is Funding because then you won’t have to worry about going oom (out of money) and will be able to use upgraded versions of your lessons more often. So drop some Charisma and stack Funding — your throughput will go through the roof! Don’t you ever read the Self-Righteous Pricks forum?
Yeah, yeah, that’s my toon. One of them, anyway. I’ve also been playing around with a veterinarian alt a little.
And since when did YOU turn into the be-all expert on every other class? Come to think of it, Garona, what do YOU even play in the first place? Anyway, this shows how much you know – you’ve got your specs mixed up. The Funding secondary only does you any good if you’re speccing deep into the Sciences tree and get a Research Grant set bonus. Otherwise it’s just wasted points, because frankly if you’re going with more of a “Liberal Arts” setup for your Pedagogy aura, you’re going to be going OOM all the time no matter what. The 5% buff to your money doesn’t do much good when it’s a 5% buff on next to nothing in the first place. Why do you think we have to spend so much time farming tuna fish in the supermarket zones?
Decided i needed to go on a trip , somewhere im not going to be seen. Youve got a big list of alliance you want to see dead so i thought it was a bad idea to muddy up your head with the reason why and just let you know that it isnt important. Its important that ive had alot of time to myself to think though. Its why ive had time to catch up with some questions that have been swimming arround in my own head, problem was they were probably questions you get every week, how come your so great, How do you manage to keep inspiring the level of awe you are now and your thoughts on how to deal with a person using teeny-tiny harmless little words that might have been misunderstood to mean that they wanted someone else to be warchief, that sort of thing.
But then I read this weeks mailbag and thought that since Sylvanas had hacked your admin id see if i could ask her something before your goblin locked her out.
So here’s the question,which im going to try to word very carefully, if youve got those winged scourge things flying arround making more forsaken why arent any of their vrykul or vargul fighting for the horde too? I thought we could have been allys if they didnt like eating our hearts or painting their faces with our blood so much but since you look like everything these guys look up to and even have their judges arround to..judge them.
–Notzenke, Who is not hiding in the vault of archevon.
Okay, first of all, somebody needs to get Notzenke here a proofreader, like, yesterday.
Second of all, though, this is kind of a good point. With the Lich King dead, that should free up a whole lot of Scourge up in Northrend – how did Sylvanas put it that time? “Found themselves unemployed”? And say what you want about Sylvanas, but she’s definitely got enough charisma to get those stray Scourge onto our side. Obviously it worked out with the val’kyr, so I don’t know why she couldn’t do the same thing with the vargul or for that matter even all the zombies and geists and abominations. The funny thing is, it’s not even like all those Scourge have been running around loose since the Lich King’s been dead. I don’t know if they just don’t know what to do with themselves now, or if there’s something else going on, but you would think they’d be primed for somebody like Sylvanas to come along and snap them up.
Third, proofreader. Seriously. There were parts of that letter where I was like “Is this a paragraph or did he just shake his dictionary over his keyboard really hard and these are the words that fell out?”
More importantly, though, Sylvanas is not still poking around the blog. I had Spazzle crack down on blog security so everything is under lock again. Problem solved.
Lady Sylvanas,
Are you reading the Warchief’s mail too? Because, uh, that one about you and me and him in the gnomish bubble bath was, um, meant to be taken in an artistic context. As a writer to a poet.
And those “special” wands are only available to a very select clientele…
Yours,
–Quelama Lightblade
Yup, these are my readers…
I’m not even going to touch the bubble bath thing, seeing as those e-mails go right into the same spam folder as the links from random succubus web sites and fake letters from Tolvir princes offering to pay me a fortune to help them sneak money into an account in Kalimdor and oh by the way all it will take is a small deposit up front on my part. But really, you guys have got to calm down. Sylvanas is not still screwing around with the blog, she’s not in my e-mail, you can all stop being so frigging paranoid. Like I said, Spazzle has already handled that shit, so we shouldn’t be having any more trouble. Everybody just needs to chill the fuck out and stop being a bunch of Chicken Littles. The sky is not fucking falling, okay?
Or so our dear Warchief would think. Spazzle, shmazzle. Never underestimate the power of a woman on the internet. ~_^
Monday mailbag
Okay, so finally I can get to normal business like answering my reader mail! As a matter of fact, there’s a TON of it that’s piled up while I was away, so it’s probably going to take some doing to get through it all. So here we go…
I look forward to Garrosh’s speedy return. This is a continuation of an earlier question our esteemed Warchief answered for me, that I have discovered new information about.
To recap: I was confused about the use of flags to mark supply drops in Ashenvale, and the capture thereof to interfere with enemy resupply. Originally, my question was how this behavior had spread to the Dragonmaw as well. Recently, I had the opportunity to put the question to a Dragonmaw quartermaster … and the answer is head-slappingly obvious in hindsight.
Twilight Highlands is nowhere near as congested as Ashenvale. But, it is ABSOLUTELY ankle-breaker country. You’re not getting anything in by land. At least, not without losing a lot if it to ambush.
So, yeah. Stealing the enemy’s flags makes excellent sense here, too.
And best wishes for our Warchief’s return to duty. If there is anything this Blood Knight can do to assist, I can be found at the Wayfarer’s Rest in Silvermoon, when I’m not on-call with the Horde Medical Corps.
–A Concerned Citizen
Huh. Okay, I guess this one was a leftover letter for Saurfang from when he was minding the shop.
Anyway, though, ACC, good to hear from you again. And yeah, I guess it makes sense that the Dragonmaw would be adopting the same flag-marking methods that we were originally using in Warsong Gulch. I’m actually kind of relieved that there’s some sense behind what they’re doing, considering how lately the Dragonmaw have been…um…kind of shaky in terms of how on top of things they seem to be.
Don’t get me wrong, I like Zaela and all. She’s a good warrior. But you know, there’s a difference between being a good warrior and being a good person to have in charge of things, you know? And like, with Zaela, sheesh. Not the brightest bulb. If there’s a big fight coming, sure thing, I want her fighting on my side. But if there’s something going on that requires you to have your wits about you, or able to wrap your brain around something bigger than “me see, me smash”? Yeah, not so much.
Greetings again, Your Warchieferousness!
Thank you for your reply re: the housing issue in Orgrimmar. It’s unfortunate that you can’t solve this issue with the same speed with which former acting Warchief Hellscream created it, by unilateral fiat – but then I suppose if he had bothered to investigate before spewing his frankly racist edict we wouldn’t have this problem, would we? I shall, as suggested, look into Razor Hill in the interim.
With regards to to baking, I’m afraid my skills in that area of cooking extend little past spice bread and tasty cupcakes – like many self-employed aggressive problem solvers, my culinary skills revolve around making use of things I slaughter horribly on my travels. Also, as a Knight of the Ebon Blade I bear the “blessing” of the Lich King in the form of an unfortunate addiction to causing pain and suffering … there are ways and means to alleviate it, but you may wish to avoid my cooking.
Regarding the issue of pseudonyms, I think I’ll pass – every second Death Knight Arthas raised during the Battle for Light’s Hope decided that being Joe Smith, formerly of Goldshire, was not sufficiently “grimdark” enough for a soldier in the Lich King’s service, and changed his name to “Darkreaper of the Nightfall” or something similarly pretentious and absurd. Some of them, seeking to emphasize their existence as agents of the Lich King’s will, changed their names to “Arthas”! Not that they can spell it, mind. I suspect the Lich King left them too long before he raised them.
(Koltira “Deathweaver”? Used to be Koltira Twillweaver, of Goldenmist Village. Though he was a pretentious ass then, too.)
Yours,
–Twilight Vanquisher Aimee
Knight of the Ebon Blade (still not the cake vendor)
Still the Goblin Frickin’ Slums
The FUCK is this?! Okay so this is another one for Saurfang I guess, I get that, fine, makes sense he’d have some follow-up mail from the last few weeks…but DUDE! How much hate mail was he GETTING about me?! Frankly racist edict by unilateral fiat WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!!
But ANYWAY, as far as YOU go, Aimee (OH NO, look out, AIMEE is pissed at me – watch out or she might write an angsty mid-tempo acoustic guitar ballad about me and take me down a few pegs with her bitter understated irony!), you go right on ahead and find yourself a nice comfy place down in Razor Hill. Keep an eye on the kids down there while you’re at it, that should be a job you can stay on top of no problem. In the meantime we orcs and tauren will take care of the real job of defending Orgrimmar, Corpsey McBoneyknees.
Anyway, there’s got to be some mail in here somewhere that’s actually for ME…
Just thought you should know you’ve been kicked from the guild. You should have been trying to make a good impression if you wanted to pass your trial, but you haven’t given us any reason to keep you. You didn’t show up for two raids you signed up for and you haven’t logged on for, like, weeks. It’s really inconsiderate to just disappear without warning and leave us hanging like that. Would have been nice for you to at least drop us a note before you vanished.
Good luck finding a new guild,
–Manageurdeath
Guild Leader
<West Coast Avengers>
…
…
THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!?!
Okay, okay, so for anyone who’s not connecting the dots yet – this guy is my guild leader (or, well, he WAS my guild leader) from the Earth Online guild I just joined. Well, the guild I just joined as of like a month ago, right before the whole Alcaz Island deal. I haven’t logged on since I’ve been back, what with me being a little busy PUTTING MY LIFE BACK IN ORDER, but APPARENTLY I’ve just been kicked out of the guild!
Because yeah, you know what, you’re right, Manageurdeath, that was really inconsiderate for me not to give you guys a heads up that I was going to be away a few weeks DUE TO BEING FUCKING KIDNAPPED! Oh wait, did I mention the part where I was dragged to a Twilight’s Hammer stronghold where I was going to be used in a fucking BLOODLETTING CEREMONY to have the FUCKING SPIRIT OF CHO’GALL BURN OUT MY SOUL AND TAKE UP RESIDENCE IN MY FUCKING BODY? Did I mention that part??
You’re right, dude, I TOTALLY should have cleared this with you to make sure it would be adequate justification for me missing out on the fucking Board of Directors raid we had scheduled!
HOLY FUCKING FUCK’S SAKE.
Actually, you know what, hold on. I need to find Spazzle for a second. You guys hold tight for a minute. Here, funny video to kill some time while I’m doing this:
OKAY, so I just tracked down Spazzle and had him trace that e-mail from the guild guy to find out where this fucker is from. I was expecting him to be from someplace way out in the middle of nowhere, where he’s got nothing to do but play this game and think he’s all hot shit for being the guild leader, because for fuck’s sake guild leaders always seem so fucking full of themselves, but anyway, check THIS out – turns out this guy is logging on from Theramore.
FUCKING THERAMORE.
The guild I was in was being run by some goddamn fucking ALLIANCE, and not even an Alliance from someplace fucking IMPORTANT, no, run by an Alliance stuck out in the run-down town out in the middle of the fucking swamp where there’s nothing for those assholes to do but bang Jaina all day, only THIS fucker doesn’t even seem to be able to pull THAT off seeing as he’s fucking logged onto the game 37 hours a day!
So you know what, I’ll tell you this, Manageurdeath, I don’t know who you are exactly, but I’m going to fucking find out, and WHOEVER you are, mark my words, you have fucked with the WRONG ORC. Enjoy your little podunk swamp town while you can, because I’m telling you right now, somehow, someday, I am going to open up such a can of fucking DISASTER on that place, you and all your little Jainabanging friends aren’t going to know what even fucking HIT you. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
UGH. Okay, so there’s still a pretty big pile of mail, but I’m in NO mood to deal with any more of this shit today, so I promise I’ll answer as much of it as I can next Monday. In the meantime, keep it coming. I’ll talk to you all later when I’m not dreaming dreams of ruins in the fucking swamp.
UGH!!!
