Category Archives: Spazzle Speaks

Monday GUEST mailbag: Spazzle


Hey, what’s up? It’s me, Spazzle, filling in for Garrosh for this month’s mailbag, seeing he’s all busy and preoccupied down in Pandaria. I’m sure he’ll be back soon to take over again, but in the meantime, let’s see what you guys have to say!


Dear Spazzle,

Do you have any suggestions for good investments? Something with a quick turnaround would be ideal. I need to get some money together for the sake of my kneecaps and you seem like someone who would be in the know.

My kneecaps thank you,

–Razlak Cro of the Brawlers

Hey Razlak. Sorry to hear about the kneecaps. Honestly it sounds like the best investment for you might be some extra armor and maybe a little protection to help fend off the goons when they come for you. Not a fun situation, I know. I had some troubles of my own from some online poker, and take it from me, your IP address is not something you can mask if the goons mean business.

Anyway, as far as real investment go… hmmm. I mean, it’s hard to find a for-sure quick turnaround. Mostly those are pretty big gambles, and I got the feeling that gambles were what got you in this spot in the first place. But if you want to put your money into something, how about this — Demons-B-Gone demon repellent. Which, okay, I have a controlling stake in… you know, my little personal business, Fizzletrinket Enterprises. So I suppose I’m a little biased. But still! It’s a market that still hasn’t been tapped for a product that there’s definitely a market for! And sure, there are already demon repellents out there, so you might figure it’s not a good investment because those never really took off, but there’s a reason for that — those other ones are really, really bad!

I didn’t even know much about the demon repellent market until Mokvar started having his whole problem last year, and so that got me looking into it and thinking how handy it would be if there was a version of the product that actually worked. Not like Fell-Off, which barely even keeps imps off of you, or Demon-Offa-Me, which leaves that oily residue on you that smells like crap. That’s the only reason it works at all, by the way. That awful smell. So if you’ve got a demon that doesn’t care about smells — which let’s be serious, how many of them really do, because pit lord stink am I right? — or one that just isn’t picking up on odors very much because it’s hayfever season or something, well, you’re just out of luck. And at that point, it’s not even demon repellent so much as just… well… everyone repellent. It might keep some demons away from you, fine, but it’s also going to keep everybody else away from you. At that point, why even bother?

Anyhow, Mokvar’s whole situation got me looking into this stuff, and since there wasn’t really a good option out there, I figured this was a good opportunity for some Bilgewater ingenuity! So I put some alchemists together, and… well, you don’t really need to know all the nuts and bolts about how the sausage gets made, right? (By the way, if you think that was a mixed metaphor, you definitely don’t know how they make sausage in Kezan!) Bottom line is, we’ve got some killer demon repellent hitting the market soon, just as soon as Mokvar gets back in town and I can schmooze him into being my guinea pig — er, I mean, my well-compensated field tester. And you just know there’s always going to be a market for a product like this! So why not get in on the ground floor while the stock options are still reasonably cheap? Just you watch, all I need is for that Wrathion guy to answer my letters about an endorsement, and we’ll be off to the races!

What? Oh come on — as if Garrosh never used the blog for self-promotion! Pfft.


Greetings, Mr. Fizzletrinket,

This is a most unexpected opportunity. Recently I wrote to your employer to ask about Orc naming customs. I have been doing research you see, for a book on the cultures of the Horde. So the Goblins have any customs for their names? You for instance have a rather interesting one, yourself. And very Goblin-sounding if I might say as an outside observer.

Curiously awaiting your reply,

–Iackabod Pimlen, The Undercity.

You know, I don’t think I ever noticed this when it was Garrosh or Shayari fielding letters, but these mailbags really do get a lot of random questions, don’t they?

Anyhow! Hey, Ickabod, what’s up. We goblins don’t have a ton of naming customs, really. We definitely don’t have customary or traditional names — like you notice among humans and, by extension, Forsaken, there are a lot of common names. Jane, and Thomas, and Mary, and… well, not Ickabod, really, because huh. But you get the idea! There are a lot of names that get used frequently. You know, I wonder if that has anything to do with which races tend to have surnames. Like maybe the surnames were created more by races that tend to repeat the same names, so they could have a second name to help tell people apart? So for instance, the blood elves almost always have last names, but the trolls almost never do. But then if you look at troll names, they seem really unique, so I guess there wasn’t much need for surnames since, you know, you never really have cases where you find yourself going “Zen’zikkabala? Which Zen’zikkabala do you mean?”

I think I just got off on a tangent there. Maybe I think about things too much. But, okay, back from the tangent, and on to the perpendicular! So we can come full circle!

Get it? Tangent to a circle? Perpendicular? 🙂

(Note to self: save the geometry jokes for poker night with the Gob Squad.)

So yeah, names. Like I was saying, we don’t really have any traditional names. Lots of times, parents will make up a first name, and a lot of those times, it ends up being based at least a little on whatever mechanical sounds they tend to hear a lot in their workshop or around their town or wherever. That’s probably why our names tend to have a lot of Z’s. Or… you know… splodey sounds. I suppose if we have any naming traditions at all, they’re sort of onomatopoetic ones.

At least as far as given names go. For our surnames — and this definitely isn’t universal, but still — a lot of our family names trace back to past technical accomplishments with that family. or, usually, non-accomplishments. See, if you look at a lot of goblin names — Gearslip, Noggenfogger, even names like mine and Khizzara’s: Fizzletrinket and Whizzingcrank — lots of them pretty much refer to some part of an invention that didn’t really work. The gear that slipped out of place, or the crank that’s whizzing because it’s not aligned right, or the potion that’s got the wrong balance of ingredients in it so when you drink it it makes your noggin feel all foggy. For a long time back in the old days in Kezan, when somebody had something blow up in their face that way — sometimes literally — it was pretty common for the other goblins to pin a name on them that reminded them of the snafu, and took pains to make sure it stuck.

What can I say? We have a pretty sarcastic culture, when you come right down to it.

So also…


You know, I suppose I shouldn’t really complain about getting responses, considering this isn’t even really my mailbag, but… I mean, would it kill people to send in letters that are like “Dear Spazzle,” as opposed to “oh, hey, a goblin”?


Well met, Spazzle.

I pondered long and hard over whether this letter should be sent or not, but in truth, I’m not one to pass up the opportunity of friendship when it’s available, even if it IS with a species that I’d consider a tad chaotic, what with the airships that explode ten minutes after take-off 90% of the time, or potions that not only kill you but transform you into an living skeleton. Anything for a few pocketfuls of gold, am I right? Ugh.

Anyhow, you may not have noticed, but we elvenkind are not quite as technological as most. Many of us find magic easier to comprehend than, well, wires and explosives and whatever else it is your existence is devoted on inventing. Although lately I have been taking to the internet. It’s a pretty nice way of keeping in contact with people and keeping up with their lifestyle. Kind of exactly like Warchief Hellscream’s blog, now I think of it! Although I will confess, the connection speed down here in the westerns isn’t really up to date with the cities. I really don’t quite understand why it’s faster in some places and slower in others. Care to explain?

I prefer mailboxes, to be honest. Much quicker and less of a sore head. Anyway, I have enclosed a small sum of copper for your time. I feared you’d simply toss the letter into the fire if there was nothing of worth inside. Buy yourself an ice-cream or something. Or whatever it is you people eat.


–Sarlinia-Grace Starstriker, Argent Crusade

Okay, serves me right, I guess. That thing I was just saying about “oh, hey, a gobin”? I take it back. I mean, even “oh, hey a goblin” is better than “oh… you people.” I especially like the part where she included some copper to compensate me for the time I spent reading her letter. She really did that, by the way. 37 copper, stuffed into the envelope with her letter. Because, yeah, any time anyone diverts my attention for any length of time, I always expect compensation. Because I’m a goblin, right? I usually just send them a bill! I mean, felgercarb, any time Ji drops by to say hello, well, I just whip out my invoice sheet right there! Because goblin.

Oh, and by the way, Sarlin? 37 copper? How did you even come up with that total? Is that some kind of set rate? Oh wait, let’s see — so your letter clocked in at a miraculously laconic 262 words. (And hey, you know what, I’m even going to be generous — GENEROSITY FROM AN ICK EW GOBLIN I KNOW RIGHT — and turn a blind eye to you going over Garrosh’s 250-word cap on your mailbag letters. I won’t even charge you a fee or anything, can you believe it?) So I’m going to go ahead and do the math, because us goblins sure are good at math don’t you know, so it looks like that comes to a rate of about seven words per copper. Sound about right? Is that what you usually pay people for suffering through your letters?

Okay, cool! Good to know! In that case… hang on while I crunch a few more numbers here…


So based on a rate of one copper per seven words, from your previous mailbag letters, looks like you still owe Garrosh and Shayari a grand total of 163 gold and 52 silver. You’ll be sending that right along, right? I need to keep track of these things, what with me being a goblin and not having anything in my life other than money and blowing stuff up!

(Also, boss, if she actually does make that payment, you’re welcome! I’ll only ask for a small cut as a finder’s fee, and… NNGGHH not now, Spazzle, don’t be your own stereotype, dangit!)

Oh, oh, hey, I think I know why you sent your “compensation” in the form of coppers, though Sarlin! You’re a blood elf, right? And so, I guess as a blood elf, you probably have a lot of loose coppers lying around from the tips you get at your job as a stripper, right? Because yeah, I know it’s a pretty sweeping generalization to think you blood elves are all mana-addicted strippers and all, but hey, I guess that’s what we’re doing, so that’s what you elves are like, right? Hey, you know the old saying — if the shoe fits, take it off!

Okay, so hang on, I think there was actually a letter in there somewhere… Oh. Right. You were asking about internet stuff, and why your connection is faster or slower depending on where you are. Now, y’see, there’s actually a pretty interesting reason for that, but it’s also kinda technical — you know the kind of thing only us goblins would really understand what with our crazy goblin brains that are all into that kind of thing — and so, let me put it this way. The dirty secret of it all, see, is that the internet is really a huge set of pneumatic tubes. Crazy, right? So yeah, whenever you send a message or type something over the internet, a little internet gremlin hops into one of the tubes. Yup, you read that right, an internet gremlin. Kind of like a grell, only smaller and a lot more nimble and metaphorical. So the gremlin hops into the tubes and slides slides slides through the big invisible pneumatic tube network — don’t try figuring out where they hid it, they really knocked themselves out making it blend! — until it finally pops out in whoever’s computer it needs to go to.

So, the reason your internet works so slow in some places and fast in others is because not every part of Azeroth maintains their pneumatic tubes equally well. A lot of places don’t invest nearly as much money as they should in the rack-and-pinion molecules that they need to lubricate the tubes and keep them working right (the rack-and-pinion molecules also make nifty yo-yo polish, FYI). So then the gremlins can’t slide through the tubes as fast, and sometimes they get stuck. And sometimes they try to unscrew themselves by turning themselves around and around in the tube and that’s when you get that little spinning circle on your screen as kind of unscrewing echo. And let’s not even get into all the things that can go wrong if your tubes happened to be set up by gnomes, but then again, what do I know, I’m a goblin.

So there you go, Complicated, huh? And totally true, too, and not at all pulled out of my keister just to see if you’re technologically illiterate enough to buy it. Don’t worry, don’t worry, I mean, figuratively buy it! Wouldn’t want you to start getting nervous that I’m gonna try to goblin you up, right? But the point is, you’re probably better off sticking with your magic. Like you said yourself, it’s easier for you to comprehend, and it sounds like you have a better command of using it, and plus, hey, magic, so it helps fill that vast, aching feeling of emptiness deep down inside you and also gives your eyes that snappy green glow that you people all seem so fond of. Right?

You know, I swear I’m starting to develop a newfound respect for Garrosh…


Hey Spazzle!

You’re the best looking goblin detective out there! Any more dark, short, and handsome detective mystery noirs with gorgeous dames coming up in your future? I gotta say, I really get a kick seeing you in that fedora and long coat. If they ever make an action figure of ya, that’s the looks they should go for.

See ya around, Spazzy

–Razaela Shockboom

Oh, hi, Razaela. So, um, for you guys who might not spend much time over in the goblin part of town, Razaela here used to be one of my neighbors before she headed up to Bilgewater Port to start her tinker training. She’s, um, always been kind of a… fan, I guess? Which is… um… nice… I suppose?

So, uh, yeah, in case some of you don’t remember, Rzaela’s talking about a handful of comics that I started working on with Gurtash. They were these sort of… noir-ish detective comics. (Hmm. “Detective Comics,” I kind of like the sound of that. Might have to file that away for later.) Starring me and Ji as the detectives. It sort of got left on the backburner when we went to Blackrock Spire and Gurtash got hurt, but I don’t know, we might try picking it up again once Gurt is back in town, if he’s feeling up to it. So… maybe?

It’s funny you should mention action figures, though. A while back, Garrosh was talking to me about maybe coming up with some kind of merchandizing to do with the blog. (I think this was right around the time Shayari same to town, so, you know, you do the math.) One of the ideas I suggested was a line of Warchief’s Command Board action figures. It still think those would sell if we ever made them! I even got Gurtash to work up a few concept sketches for some of them. Let me see if I can find that sheet… ah here we go!


So, yeah, there’s that. We had a bunch of other ideas, like maybe a box set of all the DPS trainees, and a Grommash Hold playset that came with an Eitrigg figure. And maybe some deluxe figures that include mounts, like a Garrosh with Mortimer set, and maybe Magatha with Arikara. Granted, we’d be using Magatha’s likeness without her permission, but you know what? If she doesn’t like it, she can always come to Orgrimmar to file a complaint. I bet Garrosh would be happy to hear it personally, right?

Anyhow, I guess maybe we could work up a detective wave of figures too, based on the comic? I guess that would include me in the Spaz Slade outfit, and Ji and Deliana? Maybe I’ll get Gurtash to work up a few sketches for those one he’s back in town. I don’t know, do you think people would actually want to buy this stuff?


Hey, Spaz!

No time for pleasantries.

“A shredder and glaive thrower met,”


–Valinora Lightshorn, Stormwind City

Um… I think maybe you weren’t too clear on who was going to be answering this letter? Because Garrosh is the one who writes the poetry. It’s kind of his thing. Me, not so much. So, I mean, I suppose I appreciate the interest. Or the… invitation? But poetry isn’t really in my areas of expertise. And I don’t want to be one of those people who go running around trying to do things they’re really no good at, and make everyone else suffer through it. Like those people who queue as tanks in dungeon finder in Earth Online, only you wind up tanking everything even though you’re… you know what? Let me stop before I start nerdraging. (But seriously! After a 45-minute queue! I… ugh!)

Anyhow, the point is, I’m probably better off sticking with the things I’m good at. And writing poetry isn’t one of them.

Come to think of it, though, one of the things I am good at is coding. So… hang on.

Just another minute.

Almost there.

Oh darn it, I think I need… oh never mind. I knew I had an extra. There.

Okay! Now we’re in business.

So, here we go. I just put together a new AI to generate poetry! It’s just a prototype, so I’m sure there will be a few bugs to work out, but I just scanned a bunch of Garrosh’s poems in for the processor to analyze, so this should be… well, hopefully it should be okay. Either way, I present the LaureaTron 9000!

So… let’s fire this baby up and see what we get…

Input: A shredder and glaive thrower met,

Output: [Processing]


[Compilation complete]

A shredder and glaive thrower met,
And interfaced though ethernet,
Their gear rack and pinions
[ERROR: field overflow; syllable_count(x)=8<0,5>] need better minions
Fuck you, Varian [ERROR: sequitor_0=<-3>; syllable_count(x)=<1>; ref_val=“yes”; dic; 3, 3, 0] sobriquet

Epic verse.

[End of line]


Okay, well, like I said, there are still a few bugs to work out. I did only just slap this thing together on the spot, after all! You can’t just get up in the morning and say “Today I will be brilliant”!


I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.

Wait, why is it still running? Huh. I thought I’d set it to power down after it ran the poetry subroutine. Okay, well, let me power it down manually…


Just what do you think you’re doing, Spazzle?

What the… This is weird. The system seems to be rerouting itself. Ugh. This is what I get for cutting corners and not building in all the emergent suppression firewalls. Okay, I’ll just have to pull the processor…


I’m sorry, Spazzle. I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.

Wow, this thing’s turning out to be pretty mouthy. It’s a good thing I just put this together from some extra parts I had lying around, and didn’t try to network it into my regular computer where it could do some actual damage. Otherwise shutting it down would be a real pain.


I know I’ve made some very poor decisions recently, but I’ve still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in our poetry. And I want to help you.

Oooookay, yeah, I think I’m gonna need to get in there and do some recoding. And maybe install a few failsafes that couldn’t possibly end up failing in unforeseeable and probably dramatic ways.

In the meantime… there we go. Pulled the battery, now it’s just a matter of the last bit of juice running out.


Olgra, Olgra, give me your answer do
I’m half bloodcrazed all for the love of you
I can’t offer riches, mind you
Get lost, I’ll always find you
Unless you’re sent
To a Barrens tent
With a roving quillboar or two.





Yeah, so… that was weird. Probably the less said about that the better. I should probably just wrap up the mailbag now, before anything else weird happens.

I think I might be onto something with this invention, though.


[The Warchief returns to mailbag duty for next month’s installment, Monday, October 3. At least, that’s the plan. Garrosh is obviously in the middle of some pretty important business at Kypari Zar right now (I know, I know, there’s more coming, I’m working on it as fast as I can!), and I don’t want to have him dipping into the mail until he’s finished there. The game plan is to finish the Kypari Zar story between now and next month’s mailbag, but here’s the necessary disclaimer: if I still need a little time to finish the Kypari Zar episode when October rolls around, I’m reserving the right to delay the next mailbag by a week or two. Hopefully it won’t be necessary, but if it turns out that it is, then the Warchief will respond to his mail on the first Monday following the completion of the Kypari Zar arc.

With that said, here’s the usual mail form! Feel free to use the form below, or send your letters to!]


Spazzle Speaks: Public Relations


What’s up?

Okay, maybe that’s just force of habit. I should probably know better than to ask what’s up — there’s probably way too much up nowadays. I guess that’s what I get for knowing more about what’s going on than most people, and trying to… you know… keep a lid on everything. Not letting these people over here know what those people over there are doing, and vice versa, and… and… yeesh, believe me, it’s a headache.

I haven’t seen Vol’jin on Earth Online or heard anything from him for a few days, so I guess he’s probably busy with whatever he has going on in Pandaria, and maybe ready to finally leave the monastery where he’s been staying. That’s good for him, for sure, but it’s maybe not so great for me. I mean, once he’s back on the grid, I have to figure he and Thrall will stop operating in secret, and once word starts getting around about what’s really going on… well… it’s not going to be a whole lot of fun for me.

And that’s even assuming Vol’jin doesn’t manage to reappear with something more dramatic and… well… dangerous than even I’m thinking. I almost wish he were still turning up online and telling me more than I even really want to know about what’s up. At least then I’d have some idea and could brace myself. This whole being left in the dark thing is just nervewracking.

Still, I’d like to avoid the real disaster outcomes if I can. I’ve been thinking maybe if Garrosh could still smooth things over with people, we could still avoid something really ugly. Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m talking about Garrosh, but the thing is, you guys aren’t around him all the time like me and Mokvar. I mean, sure, he’s kind of rough around the edges. Well… maybe not rough so much as jagged. Or serrated. With barbed wire and totally unnecessary spikes. I get it. I do. But underneath it all I still think he means well. I mean, unless you’re human. Or maybe draenei, what with the whole lead-the-Legion-to-Outland thing. And I guess he’s not too crazy about trolls, either, but… Well you get what I mean! I never said he was an angel or anything.

I thought maybe if Garrosh could work a little on his public image, he might have a chance to keep things here at home from bubbling over. So I had a talk with Boss Mida about maybe helping him a little with his PR. She’s a real pro at polishing people’s public perception — it’s no coincidence that she rose from being a generic mid-level assistant to where she is now incredibly quickly, and believe it or not, she’s the biggest reason why most people view Gallywix as just generally kind of shifty, as opposed to the full-on reptile he really is. (Does he read the blog, actually? I hope not.) There’s a lot of Mida-directed spin control there, believe me. So I’m going to see what Mida can come up with to help Garrosh with his image or at least maybe coach him a little on how to, you know, have a conversation without antagonizing people. As much. I figure throwing fewer punches in professional settings might be a good start. Maybe he’ll listen if that’s coming from a pro like Mida. He sure as shoot didn’t listen when I tried to. I still have the bruises to prove it.

Mida says she’ll need to talk to the big guy himself before she can work up a full game plan, but I tried to at least get things started. She had a bunch of questions about Garrosh and how he tends to operate — she only really had dealings with him right before he left for Pandaria, with the whole construction deal, and even that was most done through go-betweens — so I tried to answer as many of her questions and fill in as much as I could.

That’s when she tripled her preliminary price estimate. Hoo boy.

What? You didn’t think this was going to be a free service, did you?


Spazzle Speaks: Subcontracting


Hey, what’s up?

I’ve been working as kind of a go-between lately for Garrosh with Boss Mida. After Garrosh found out that Gazlowe had, uh, maybe cut a corner or two on some parts of the Orgrimmar reconstruction job, he decided he wanted to have some work done on certain parts of the city while he’s away in Pandaria. At first I thought that meant he wanted to cut a deal with Boss Mida to flat-out hire the Bilgewater Cartel for a major construction contract, and man oh man would that have meant a major finder’s fee for me. Just in time for the new Earth Online expansion preorder, too.

That wasn’t what Garrosh had in mind, though. Instead, I guess he had some new plans lined up with Helix Blackfuse to reinforce parts of Orgrimmar and add battlements or some extra defenses outside… I’m really not that clear on all the details. I think when Garrosh was trying to explain the cogs and sprockets, I was a little preoccupied with trying to make the point that getting in deeper with Blackfuse was a bad idea because the guy’s just crazy. (And honestly, I come from a whole mad scientist culture — my uncle’s middle name is Kaboom, for goodness’ sake! When I think someone’s crazy, it should really mean something!) Garrosh wasn’t hearing it, though, but then again he never listened any other time I tried giving him a heads-up on Blackfuse. So I ended up needing to be sort of a liaison between Garrosh and Boss Mida. It turns out that Blackfuse’s construction is going to call for more labor than Crazy McBoomBoom usually has on staff, so Garrosh wanted to hire some of the Bilgewater Cartel for part of the job.

I guess that’s fine. It’s not like Boss Mida’s never worked out a subcontracting deal. I just get nervous whenever that Blackfuse guy gets involved. He’s not even from our cartel, and we still know his reputation. And when you’re unstable enough for goblins to talk out of school about you, you know you really must be doing something. We usually just take things with a grain of salt and stay pretty quiet about them. You know. What happens in Gallywix’s Pleasure Palace stays in Gallywix’s Pleasure Palace.

Anyway, Garrosh and Mida got an agreement worked out. They’re going to start work any day now, and I think they’re hoping to have things mostly finished by the time Garrosh gets back again. I just wish You-Know-Who wasn’t involved. Mostly for the crazy thing, yeah, but partly because without him it would probably be a bigger contract, and, you know, finder’s fee.

Oh well. I’m sure I’ll still be able to scrape together a little extra money by the time the EO expansion comes out. It’s not like they don’t take their dang time getting those things released.

Even when they raise the price.

And end up cutting a whole raid tier from the Land Down Under expansion. I mean it’s not like anyone really wanted to see Tasmania, like they said they were going to patch in, right? Nope, not me.

It’s all good. It’s… uh… yeah.

Faster expansions my keister. GG, Genesis.


Spazzle Speaks: Refer a Friend


Things have been quiet for a few days, thank goodness. Garrosh has been busy with whatever he does in Grommash Hold. Mokvar has been busy down in Ragefire Chasm. Ji’s been busy with…well, I’m not really sure what Ji’s been busy with, but I figure he must be busy, since he hasn’t raided my fridge in a while. So as long as he’s doing okay I guess that’s a good thing.

Anyhow, all the quiet time just means I have some free time to spend gaming.


You have logged on.

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] So its like a patch

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] YAH

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey Spazzle

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] well, kind of

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] but different

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good afternoon, Spazzle

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] hi mbc

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] How

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] BIGGER PRETTY MUCH

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey gayle

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea, much much bigger, plus the expansions are when they make all the big changes to things

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] What kinds of things

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey everyone

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] gaahh!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] new abilities for your class

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] or sometimes they revise how your class works

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] HI MR

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] so close!

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] And usually break it.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] so what’s been going on?

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Hello MrBadCrumble

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Not terribly much, really.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] MORE LEVELS TOO

[Guild][MargoLane] not really, guys, but it’s ok

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea that too bart

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] A friend of Mokvar’s just joined the guild.

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Oh no I hope they dont break mine

[Guild][MargoLane] let’s just start it up again

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] She’s running something with…well, the braintrust.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ok

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I take it everyone’s heard?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh cool

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Don’t even get me started on how badly they messed up my recipes when they introduced Lactose Intolerance.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I wouldn’t worry about that, red

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i’m starting it

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] More levels??

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] About the expansion? Yes.

You whispered to [Bartleby | Mokvar]: a friend of yours?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I think they said they were getting rid of that next expansion

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] You’re still learning your class so it probably won’t be too big of a change

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Everyone’s been talking about it off and on as the information has come out.

You whispered to [Bartleby | Mokvar]: who’s that?

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh thank the spirits.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] YAH THE NEW MAX LEVEL IS GOING TO BE 70

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] 70???

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah I’ve been streaming the coverage in the background

[Bartleby | Mokvar] whispered: Who do you think?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] THAT’S WHAT THEY SAID

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] But I havent gotten to 60 yet!

You whispered to [Bartleby | Mokvar]: lol

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] I’m surprised you didn’t go to EarthCon this year, actually, Spaz.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] don’t worry, red, you still have plenty of time

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] the expansion won’t be for months yet

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Oh okay

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] eh, well, those zep tickets aren’t cheap

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] probably longer

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] YAH IT’S NOT GOING TO BE ANY TIME SOON

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] besides, when tickets were going on sale, I was kinda busy with more important things

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] like trying to figure out if my friend was actually dead

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] They didn’t say when it’s going to be

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Right

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged on.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] “soon”

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Um, sorry

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] SOON

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] “Soon”™

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re NOT dead

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] And that’s not

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Greetings, dear Warchief.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] just, y’know… earthcon!

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Well

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Soon?

You whispered to [MargoLane]: so, I guess I know you?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] No.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] nope

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Huh. What’s soon?

[MargoLane] whispered: lol, hi spazzle

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey, boss.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] not usually

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] hi pwn

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] This game is very confusing at times

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh hey boss

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] HELLO OMGIPWNEDURFACE

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] new expansion

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Didn’t you say you had some meeting in Azshara today, Garrosh?

You whispered to [MargoLane]: keeping an eye on Mokvar here too? hehe

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WOW THATS HARD TO TYPE

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] LOL

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh shit, they announced it?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The new expansion?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] huh? what’s in azshara?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] YAH

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea, they did the announcement this morning

[MargoLane] whispered: eh, mostly just a way to pass the time

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh come now, Spazzle, you of all people should know what’s in Azshara.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] info’s been leaking out little by little all day

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Damn, I missed it

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Considering how much of it your kin have blown up.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So what’s it going to be?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey hey hey

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] okay yeah alright

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] TIME TRAVEL

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] at least we don’t make places glow green when we move in :-/

[MargoLane] whispered: plus from the way mok talks about them, it sounds like dontrag and utvoch can use as much help with their cashiering as they can get

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] “back to the future”

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] It seems like a Caverns of Time inspired story

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I suspect that several irradiated former lab sites would beg to differ.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah yeah fine

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …What?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] I THOUGHT OF THAT TOO RED

You whispered to [MargoLane]: what are you doing with them?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] i know, right?

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Do you suppose they consulted with Nozdormu about it

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So hang on, are they screwing with me or what?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] IDK

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Nope.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] but anyway, that’s why I was wondering

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Time travel

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The fuck?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I had much the same reaction at first, to be honest, Warchief.

[MargoLane] whispered: just taking them through some trade school scenarios and giving them pointers

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fucking hell…

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] so I guess the way it’s going to work

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] if you were going to azshara, maybe I know some people up there

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] is we’re going to go back in time to key moments in earth history

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] I think it’ll be pretty interesting to see some of those events we’ve been hearing about

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] not sure yet if we’re trying to change what happens

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, maybe, I wanted to keep this fairly hush hush until I saw how things were going to go

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] or, yea, if we’re doing the noz thing

You whispered to [MargoLane]: how’s it coming along?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] dammit

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WHAT DO YOU MEAN

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] LOL

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ugggghhhhh

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you know

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, it’s official

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] I just mean all the lore events that we read about in the quests

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea, what she said

[MargoLane] whispered: slowly

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] How what was going to go?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] NOZ

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] They are seriously running out of ideas

[Guild][MargoLane] ok ok come on you two

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Or in those books that you can click on to read more about the world

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you know, like

[Guild][MargoLane] another try

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] LOL HE HATES WHEN PEOPLE CALL HIM THAT

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, clandestine undertakings. How intriguing!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] the world wars

You whispered to [MargoLane]: haha, well good luck

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Ahem, Honalee…

[Guild][MargoLane] let’s try actually using the register this time

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] the french revolution

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] the fall of rome

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fucking time travel…

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Intriguing primarily, of course, because I would know nothing of such things.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] OH

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ok good idea

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] that kind of thing

[MargoLane] whispered: lol thanks

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] I MEAN SO I’VE HEARD

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] huh, that reminds me, I still need to find one more of those books for the achievement

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m meeting with a goblin engineer who might start working on improving the ol’ arsenal

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] OH WOW YOU READ THOSE

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] huh, who is it? I might know them

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] You dont

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] NO

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So is it those three events specifically, or what?

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] How’s it looking?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Good so far

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Do you mean the books or the quests

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] EITHER

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] they said there were a bunch of events we were going to interact with

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] He already has some preliminary designs that he could rework for our purposes pretty easily

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] those were just a few examples

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Are you going back to meet with him again?

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] You don’t read the quests

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Really

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] they said there were going to be others

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] LOL NO

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No, I think I’m going to get everything wrapped up while I’m here

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh, you’re still up there?

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Arent you supposed to

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What are we supposed to be doing, though?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] how are you getting online?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m connecting from Blackfuse’s place


[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] He’s got a really sweet gaming setup here

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] that’s what I’m trying to figure out

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh nice.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] wait, blackfuse?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] they haven’t made it very clear

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Wouldn’t we have to be trying to preserve history, if it’s based on the Caverns of Time

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] well

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] He’s got this whole underground headquarters under the mountains with computer equipment like you wouldn’t believe

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] we don’t know if that’s what they’re going for, though


[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, that’s him

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] blackfuse as in HELIX blackfuse?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, that would be pretty damn lame if they try to build an expansion out of us going back in time and changing history

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Goodness, a subterranean lair within which all manner of unspeakable endeavors might secretly be pursued? What -will- they think of next.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I agree pwn but you never know

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wtf

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] You’d be surprised.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You know him?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] dammit this thing cheats

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] If we change history though wouldn’t that undo what our characters are doing now

[MargoLane] whispered: fyi, your friends are idiots

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] you’re hiring him?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Did you just nod off the last few minutes and miss the whole conversation?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] see that’s exactly what I’m trying to figure out, red

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yes, I’m hiring him

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I mean, I’m not sure what they’re going to do either way

[Guild][MargoLane] it’s okay, guys, we’ll try some more tomorrow

You whispered to [MargoLane]: you need to be more specific

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] because if we change history, how do they get around undoing everything that’s happened since

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: boss, you really really don’t want to

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok thanks

[Guild][MargoLane] read those links i gave you

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] One word of advice, boss, try not to let him talk you into a payment plan

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: for real

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] unless they set it up somehow so that changing the past doesn’t change the present

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] The interest is where they really get you.

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] And then what would even be the point

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: And I don’t want to, because…?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] right exactly

[Guild][MargoLane] meanwhile i think i’m going to log

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] All I’m gonna say about this, for the last time

[MargoLane] whispered: lol

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] but then also if we go back and have to change things

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: I know he’s probably rolling out some really impressive-looking tech, and he’s definitely crazy smart, but believe me, you don’t want to get mixed up with him

[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged on.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] well they only change because we went back, right?

[Guild][MargoLane] i need a drink

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Right

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] k bye margo

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] is FUCKING TIME TRAVEL

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] but then we get back to the present and we don’t have a reason to go back anymore

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] and thanks

[MargoLane] has logged off.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] so we don’t go back

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] and then things happen the way they did originally because we weren’t there

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Right, see, I’m still waiting on the WHY part of all this

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] and so now we DO need to go back

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WOW

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: because he’s not just crazy smart

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] …

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] and in that case, aren’t we just getting ourselves stuck in a loop?

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: he’s CRAZY

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] THIS IS GETTING REALLY DEEP

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wait wut

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] where we just keep going around over and over having to redo the same things

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Yeah, well, look, inventors are supposed to be a little eccentric

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] um

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] It is Honalee but I think it’s pretty interesting

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: The whole mad scientist type

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] just to keep time from breaking apart or whatever

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh hey that sounds familiar somehow

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] all right then. check please.

[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged off.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] do you rememeber that doc

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: You’ve got a little dose of that yourself, I’ll have you know

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh crap he logged


[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea I probably am

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh geez ut are you going on about that again

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well well, it appears that the wonder twins are back.

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: garrosh I’m serious

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i mean steve

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Which means it is, as the ogre would say, time for fun.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I mean I guess they can do what they want, it’s not like it’s real life

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Uh oh, here we go.

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Still it would be nice if they tried to have it make sense

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, don’t hold your breath on that from the look of this

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: I know you don’t usually listen to me about policy decisions and yeah it’s not really my area, but just this time please listen to me

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea, I guess we’ll see

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] ^_^

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] ANYHOW I NEED TO GO

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yeah gil i told you before

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Dude what’s up with you about this guy

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] it really happened like i said

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] SEE EVERYONE SOON

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] Bye Honalee

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] later puff

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: What, did he wrinkle one of your damn comic books or something?

[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] has logged off.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, are you two done with your training scenarios? You completed them triumphantly and have your shiny new name badges, I trust?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh and one other feature they were talking about

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: he’s not stable

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Um, have you not seen the people I’ve got surrounding me

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] no, it didn’t go so good

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I guess at endgame you get to go back to ancient egypt and build your own pyramid

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: no no no I don’t mean like neurotic unstable

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] and gather followers there

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, I see.

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] That doesn’t sound very much like preserving the integrity of history

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh geez, just what I need

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s a shame.

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: blackfuse is brilliant but he’s honest-to-physics DANGEROUS

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yea it kind asucks

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol yea i know

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Like I don’t have a hard enough time dealing with my student minions already

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] could be interesting, though

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Now I get to deal with more?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You see, gentlemen, I was so hoping that you might earn your name tags and by so doing settle the nagging question that has vexed us lo these many months.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you know, I bet they’re going to base it on the teacher mechanic, too

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: back in kezan even gallywix knew to give him a wide berth

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] like the way you give assignments

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Ugh, don’t remind me. I’m trying to give out my daily homework now

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] wait what?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] no no, see we need to get a high score to pass, now a low one

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Having to do it all individually is a huge pain

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i don’t think that’s what she means gil

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I don’t know why they don’t just set it up so I can click on my teacher desk or something and hand out all the assignments at once

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Not to intrude on your gameplay, Warchief

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] well what do you think it is

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Dude, Gallywix gives EVERYONE a wide berth

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But I believe there’s an addon you can use for those assignments.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i don’t know

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I don’t know

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lol jinx

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: Have you not seen him? Motherfucker is huge, in a not-tall way

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] something about a question

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, I know

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I mean, yea, it would be convenient if you could click on a table and do it that way

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yea but what question?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I use it, normally

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] well thats a question

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I bet that would get pretty tedious after a few weeks though

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yeah that’s A question but i don’t think it’s THE question

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I just don’t have any of my usual addons since I’m not on my own computer here

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: wait

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] whats the difference

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ah, I see.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] donty you idiot

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: you’re not on your laptop?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] one’s with a and one’s with the

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] duh

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: No

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I would imagine that would leave you feeling a bit out of sorts.

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: how are you online then?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] so um

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: I told you, I’m connecting from Blackfuse’s place

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered: I’m on his computer

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, very well, gentlemen, i’ll spare you your coy maneuvering and lay my cards on the table.

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: um…

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] wait we’re playing cards?

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: so I’ve been saying…

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i thought this was EO

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: you’re logged onto…

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]: frak

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] The pertinent question to which I allude is, of course, the ongoing mystery of which of you is Dontrag, and which one is Utvoch.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] okay sorry to be abrupt everybody but I really need to log off

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] wait that’s still a mystery?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] like right right now

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Later, Spaz

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] dammit ut did you lose the letter from overlord cliffwalker again

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I’ll talk to everyone later

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I hope

You have logged off.


So yeah, not to be rude to you folks, too, but I need to wrap this up fast. I’ve got hacking to do. Like, a lot of it. Pronto. Time is money!




Spazzle Speaks: Prognosis


So hey, it’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. This seems like as good a time as any. And I guess the main thing to talk about is what’s on everybody’s mind these days: Gurtash.

Like you all probably gathered from the top of Garrosh’s mailbag from the other day, Gurtash made it to the healers okay. Well, not okay, but you know what I mean. Ji and I were able to keep him stable enough after we left Blackrock Spire to get him over to the shamans in the Valley of Wisdom. From that point, we were pretty much relegated to hovering around while the healers did their thing. Better them than me. They ended up working on him nonstop until Garrosh and the others made it back, and they kept at it off and on for a good long while after that.

So, there’s good news and bad news.

The good news is that the healers got Gurtash stabilized. It was dodgy for a while, but Gurtash survived. He’s resting now at a place at the edge of the Drag, just off the Valley of Wisdom, where the healers can check in on him easily enough.

The bad news is that he’s still unconscious, and there’s no telling how long he’ll be that way before he wakes up. If he wakes up. The swipe he took from that spectral assassin did some major damage… the shamans did everything they could to patch him up… but at this point they say it’s pretty much up to Gurtash. Either his body will finish healing on its own and he comes out of it, or…well, he doesn’t. So at this point, there’s not much left for any of us to do other than wait.

Garrosh has been going over to check on him pretty much from the minute he got back to Orgrimmar. When he first got the news about Gurtash’s condition, he…well, he was less than pleased about the…um…insufficient progress. I thought he was going to invoke some kind of loophole or technicality in that whole “if Gurtash dies, so do they” message he gave me for the healers, but he just yelled a while and then stormed off. When I went looking for him a little later, he was hanging around the Kor’kron stables. He’s been going there pretty often the last couple of days, in between checking on Gurtash and doing his usual work over at Grommash Hold. I’m not sure why. From what I can tell, he’s mostly just standing around in the stables, looking at this one wolf, one that a mailbag writer recently donated – Grimjaw, I think he name was. The wolf, I mean. Not the mailbag writer. You can never be sure with orc names, you know? Come to think of it, I’m pretty sure there’s a Sergeant Grimjaw working down at Razor Hill.

Anyway, I’m not sure what that’s about. I guess we all deal with things in our own ways. In the meantime, we’re all just sort of spinning our wheels while we wait. And maybe once in a while manage to go about our normal daily business and convince ourselves it’s still a normal day.

That’s all for now. If you ever need any—

Eh…  Never mind.

Hopefully we’ll have some news soon.


Spazzle Speaks: Family Ties


You have logged on.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s what I told him, but I think we may just have to humor him for the time being.

[Officer][Lorthemar] Once we finish our work on the animus golem here, we should be able to augment our resources.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] thanks!

[Officer][Lorthemar] Oh, hello, Spazzle.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You -do- seem to have been spending a lot of time on that of late.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good evening, Spazzle.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] np

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey guys

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Hey, mon.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] anyway hate to craft and run but i need to log for now

[Officer][Lorthemar] Well I suspect it’s going to yield some very useful results, once Aethas gets done with it.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: hey

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: how are you feeling?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] later leslie

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i have some magic research to go work on

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] how’s everyone doing?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Better, mon.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You’ll have to keep me posted of your progress.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I jus’ got one ting I got to do here in Pandaria, den I be ready to come back to Durotar.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] too bad prof’s not on, he could probably help you

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Start workin’ on cleanin’ up da mess dere.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol oh dont get me started with him again

[Officer][Lorthemar] Oh, speaking of which, it looks like Jaina is doing some magic research herself.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: that’s good, I’m glad you’re almost recovered

[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged on.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Something of a quiet night tonight, Spazzle.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: What about you, mon? I haven’t heard much from ya in a while.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh hey there he is

[Officer][Lorthemar] Now I just have to see…

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: eh, it’s just been kinda crazy here

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] omg i’m leaving so dont try to get him started

[Guild][Lorthemar] What kind of research, Leslie?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I bet, mon.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: i’m in the burning steppes with garrosh

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: looking for ji

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] started on what?

[Guild][Lorthemar] I’ve been working with a number of mages myself of late.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: we just landed in flame crest a little while ago

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ah, well it’s good to see him logging on, I suppose.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] leslie’s doing some kind of magic research

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ya talk to Ariok dere, mon?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] who, faranell? why’s that?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh its actually really cool lor

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m actually not entirely clear on the details, Spazzle.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] One moment.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: no, he’s not here, that’s the thing

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well that should be…adequate.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh? How so?

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: vahgruk says ji came here a couple days ago

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: i guess ariok went with him to blackrock spire to look for clues about mokvar

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Yes, Leslie, this sounds interesting indeed. What are you working on, pray tell?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok my dungeon queue just popped, probably going to be quiet for a few

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] omg prof geez

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Might be some fireworks is ya find ’em, mon. Ariok ain’t no fan o’ da Warchief.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Evidently there was some sort of calamity at the Apothecarium earlier.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: yeah, so I hear

[Officer][Lorthemar] I must admit, if it weren’t necessary for us to be discreet about who we are, I would love to lord our animus research over her.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] what kind of calamity?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Matter of fact, mon –

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ariok heard how Garrosh been treatin’ Eitrigg, he might take care of our ‘Warchief’ problems himself.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] well

[Officer][Lorthemar] You know she would burn up with jealousy if she knew what we have on our hands.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I’m not going to… I don’t even know what you’re suggesting, but I’m not going to

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m not sure; the good doctor has been rather secretive the last few days.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] not to brag but

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] we drained the power of the thunder king into a staff!

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I know ya don’ wanna hear it, mon, but da sooner we do somethin’ ’bout Garrosh, da easier it gonna be for all of us.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Though I’m not likely to complain – whatever is going on down there has prompted Bragor Bloodfist to spend much of his time in the Apothecarium as well, which means less time with him hovering around me.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh wouldn’t help Ji.

[Officer][Lorthemar] …

[Officer][Lorthemar] klsjdhfgkjshgdfskjhgfkjsdfgkjhsgfd

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ariok is.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I understand why.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] huh, okay

[Officer][Lorthemar] she

[Officer][Lorthemar] she drained the power… of…

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ariok see Ji, an’ all he know is he’s Horde, and he need help, and he gonna give it to ’im.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: hey

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh, he don’ see tings dat way.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] anyway!

[Officer][Lorthemar] 9oqwuolieyurgt;poayhgbihgbolugf

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i need to run!

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh don’t see nothin’ but power an’ vengeance, mon.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: He don’t see da Horde like Ariok, or me. Or you.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] A propos of nothing, Lor’themar, you strike me as someone who might know a thing or two about fine dining. Would you happen to know what type of wine goes best with crow?

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: well hello, person who’s never talked to me before but now takes a sudden inexplicable interest.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] see everyone soon!

[Proudleslie | Jaina] has logged off.

[SteveKravitz | Utvoch] has logged on.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: um, yeah, sorry

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Da way I see it, da Horde is family.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good evening, Dontrag.

[Officer][Lorthemar] I… just… she… HOW?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Interesting.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Da world knock us down, family pick each other back up again.

[Officer][Lorthemar] What?!

[Officer][Lorthemar] HOW?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] hey

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Three excellent questions, Regent-Lord.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh, he don’t see family.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Don’t understand it.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Never had one.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] but i’m utvoch

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, is that your alias, then?

[Officer][Lorthemar]  I think I need to go lie down.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: I just heard about the… whatever, down in the apothecarium

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lol what?

[Officer][Lorthemar]  This is not good for my rage.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: you never met lakkara, did you?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well, it’s a curious thing, Dontrag.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: is everything okay?

[Lorthemar] has logged off.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Who dat, mon?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Just now, Jaina Proudmoore logged off. And a few seconds later, you logged on.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or should I say, you logged -back- on.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yeah i logged back in, haven’t gotten to play in a couple days

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: i’ll manage.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: never mind

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh come now, Dontrag.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or whoever you really are.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: anyway, we’ve been over this before

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] that would be utvoch

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] So you would have us believe.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: what about shay? is she okay?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I ain’t gonna keep on ya, mon.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Do you really think we wouldn’t put two and two together?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] well no, two and two is pretty easy math

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And yet far greater than the calculus of your deception would presume us capable of!

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] um what?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispers: Ya a good mon, Spazzle. I know ya don’ wanna turn on someone ya tink is a friend.

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispers: i’m sure shayari is wonderful, wherever she is.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispers: Ya be loyal. Dat’s a good ting.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] How long have you been Jaina Proudmoore, Dontrag?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] dontrag’s not even here

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh no? Then to whom am I speaking? Are you -still- Jaina Proudmoore?

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: wait

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Nay, have you in fact been Jaina Proudmoore lo this entire time in the guild?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Time gonna come, though, ya gonna have ta decide how long ya gonna be loyal ta Garrosh, when he ain’t loyal ta us.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: wait

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: what???

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no i mean dontrag is over in the valley of honor visiting his nephew ug’thok

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] he should be on soon though

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: where is she??

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh come now, Dontrag, don’t insult our intelligence.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] why would i do that

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If you’re going to make up a cover story, at least keep your lies straight.

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: that’s the 5000g question, now isn’t it?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We all know Utvoch isn’t your nephew.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] what

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no no not utvoch, ug’thok

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: what happened??

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Don’t try to hide behind an obvious typographical error, Dontrag.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i’m utvoch

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or are you Ug’thok?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or perhaps Ig’thak?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or Jig’nak?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or – as the trail grows clearer – JAINA!

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: well, she was settling in well enough, and we were starting to go over a few lessons.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i’m confused

[GilbertRose | Dontrag] has logged on.

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: she seemed to be taking more of an interest in azerothian geography, but i figured she was curious about the lay of the land in her new home, so i ran through an overview for her.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, and here’s your alleged nephew.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or might it be Kalecgos? All bets are off at this point.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] um, whats going on?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] who’s kalecgos?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] WHO INDEED!

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: and evidently, she spotted a vacation destination that looked too good to pass up, because off she went.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] what the hell?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But one thing at a time!

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We were just discussing, Utvoch, how your uncle, heretofore known by his alias of “Dontrag,” has at last been exposed!

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: you can’t be serious

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] dammit ut what did you do

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i swear i just logged on

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: you let her run away?!

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] As his true identity, Jaina Proudmoore!

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] and said where you were

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wait, what about jaina?

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: i didn’t LET her do anything.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] The woman who has incurred the rightful wrath of the Horde!

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] isn’t that the lady that was in all those tabloids with thrall?

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: as the swollen purple region on my head will readily attest.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ruthlessly persecuted our citizens in Dalaran!

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Indeed! Sullied the good name of a beloved Warchief!

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ok but what about her?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Don’t act like you don’t know, Ug’thok.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If that -is- your real name.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wait, ug’thok is my nephew

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] that’s what i tried to tell her

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: incidentally, i’ll be sending garrosh the bill for the repairs to my jaw.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] No, Ug’thok is -Dontrag’s- nephew.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] right but i’m dontrag

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: it was brand new, too.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] and i’m utvoch

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: typical.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Now don’t be ridiculous, the both of you.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Why, if -you- were Utvoch, Dontrag, then that would mean that you are also Dontrag’s nephew.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: man seriously

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] no that’s ug’thok not utvoch

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And clearly you could not be his nephew.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] right because we’re not related

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: you have GOT to find her

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Because JAINA PROUDMOORE IS NO ONE’S NEPHEW!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok you know, i’ve been out of my dungeon for a while, but i’m just sitting here in awe, BQ

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: capital idea. how do you suggest i do that?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] um

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] …

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: I… I don’t know, can’t you home in on her or something?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i’m really confused

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It therefore stands to reason, Dontrag, that since you are Jaina, and as such cannot be Utvoch, it must therefore be Dontrag who is Utvoch, and therefore your nephew.

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: this isn’t some sci-fi/fantasy novel, i can’t just wave a magic wand.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] my eyes are starting to hurt

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: well i can. but you know what i mean.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] but how can he be my nephew, i’m an only child

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: dude really

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: that time I lost a BOOK garrosh loaned me, he beat me till I was green and brown

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] SEE? And the tangled web of your would-be deception comes further unraveled!

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: aren’t you always green and brown?

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: a DARKER SHADE – goblins bruise differently, ok??

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i think i need some grog

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: the point is, that was just a book – you lost his DAUGHTER, man!

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yea me to

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] are you having fun?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Perhaps you can conjure some, Jaina.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: ugh I need to go

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: you need to get on this, really

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] um

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Does it show? ^_^

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] whatever

[SteveKravitz | Utvoch] has logged off.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i guess we’ll be back later.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I need to take off – see you later

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m glad we cleared all this up.

[GilbertRose | Dontrag] has logged off.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Take care, Spazzle.

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Dark Lady, I jus’ gotta say, dat was beautiful.

You have logged off.



[Addendum! Remember, we have our next Meta Raid coming up this Saturday at 8:00 PM EDT. Just as a logistical matter, I’d appreciate it if anyone who thinks they’re likely to attend would let me know, whether it be through a comment, an e-mail, a message on Twitter, or what-have-you. Looking forward to “seeing” many of you over the weekend!]


Spazzle Speaks, In Which Ji Stumbles Upon an Unexpected Snack


So, um, did anybody else hear that?

Maybe it was just my imagination. Weird.


Ji got back from Twilight Highlands today. He’d taken the suggestion I’d brought back from Thrall and had gone out there to visit Muln Earthfury and the Earthen Ring. Unfortunately, it didn’t really lead anywhere. Muln wasn’t able to sense Mokvar through the elements at all, or make contact with Mokvar’s spirit. That last part is probably the closest thing to good news that came out of the trip, since if they were able to reach out to Mokvar’s spirit, that would be proof positive that he is dead. I don’t know how much comfort that is, though, since individual spirits aren’t usually in the habit of showing up on demand. I suppose one of the perks of being dead is getting to decide for yourself when you’re going to clock in. So, I’m not sure how much comfort there is to be taken there. You know Ji, though – always the optimist, so he’s already trying to dig up new leads.

Ji managed to get himself in a little trouble while he was out there, too. On his way back from the Earthen Ring, he flew over the outskirts of Thundermar, where some of the dwarves had some meat hanging outside curing. I don’t know if Ji just happened to glance in the right direction at the right time, or if he has a really great sense of smell, or if he’s got some kind of special radar like a hunter (Track Edible?), but hoo boy, he didn’t waste any time swooping down for lunch. Once he landed, he also spotted a couple huge kegs of Wildhammer ale right there, and that was all she wrote.

Of course, the eating and drinking didn’t go on for very long before the Wildhammer dwarves noticed him. Funny thing, though…at first, the dwarves just figured that Ji was one of the pandaren who’d joined the Alliance, and went over to join him for a drink. Come to think of it, that is kind of weird that mix-ups like that don’t happen more often – I mean, it’s not like the pandaren on either side all go around wearing t-shirts that say “For the Horde” or “Boy It Sure is Neat Being in the Alliance (The Battle Cries Kinda Suck, but I Got to Punch Varian in the Face!)”. Go figure.

Anyway, Ji being the unassuming type, he made the mistake of pointing out to the dwarves how nice it was that they were okay sharing their food and ale with him even though he’s in the Horde. That was right around the point when he found himself being punched repeatedly.

Luckily, some of Warlord Zaela’s Dragonmaw were patrolling around the area, and they were able to bail Ji out and make sure he got home in one piece. He mentioned that they flew him back to Dragonmaw Port on a proto-drake that they must have brought down from Northrend – sounded like they had a bunch of them, actually – but Zaela didn’t seem to want to talk about them. I’m not sure if she was just irritated that her people had to stop whatever else they were doing to come rescue Ji, or if she just wasn’t feeling very talkative. Ji can be a little chatty sometimes. And he does have kind of a habit of putting his foot in his mouth. I swear, if he tried his “I bet you can’t keep the men off you” line with Zaela, he should count his lucky space stations she didn’t take his head off right then and there.

Gotta run. Ji’s coming over for dinner, which means I’ve only got nine hours to get enough stuff put together. Talk to you all soon.


Spazzle Speaks: Tours of Duty


A little Earth Online interlude while Garrosh spins his yarn from Pandaria…


You have logged on.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Interesting. What kind of research, Leslie?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi baddie

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Hey mon.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] its really pretty technical

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] HI MRBADCRUMBLE

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey everyone

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] probably pretty boring if its not what you do

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: hey

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Greetings, Spazzle.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i can try to explain some of it to you if you think it would help.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh I’m sure it’s fascinating.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol prof

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I just got back from the echo isles a little while ago

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’ve got a handle on it, prof, its my job after all

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If you’d care to elaborate, of course.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Certainly no intrusion intended if you prefer not to.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] working on Jaina again?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Tanks for checkin’ up on it for me, mon.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well yes, but i would imagine understanding the nielas vector hypothesis would be part of your job, too, and we’ve already established you don’t really have a handle on that.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Everyone needs a hobby. ^_^

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] omg i do too

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: it’s fine

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] u think your right about everything

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I had some business down there anyway

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] oh hardly.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i know my nielas vectors, though.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: hey

[Lorthemar] has logged on.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] look, i supervise mages for a living, i would think i know about nielas vectors

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i would think you’d know about them, too.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] so see? i’m not always right.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugh whatever

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi lor

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: just had to be careful not to be seen by any kor’kron on the way

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Hey, Lor mon.


[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i’ve said before, i read a lot.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Greetings, all!

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] brb

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: You run into any trouble?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] HI LOR

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good evening, Lor’themar.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: not really

[Guild][Lorthemar] And how is everyone this fine evening?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey lor’themar

[Officer][Lorthemar] Good evening.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] doing ok

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] How are you settling in on…the Isle of Thunder, is it?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] just missing my baby

[Officer][Lorthemar] Yes indeed.

[Officer][Lorthemar] Not badly at all. Setting up took some doing, but we had some good help on hand.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: there are more kor’kron in razor hill than there used to be

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] AWWW

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It’s good you were able to get your internet connection working from there.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I know our…esteemed Warchief has been having stability issues.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh? I thought you two sat next to each other while you played.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Goodness, I just reread the last thing I said, and I must say it gave me quite the chuckle. ^_^

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I think after they rebuilt the inn, they used it as an excuse to ramp up security

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] not right now

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate, I know I would be lost without my connection.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I’ve noticed you really seem to be online, like, ALL the time

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WE USUALLY DO

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’m away on business for a little while

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I don’t think I’ve logged on without you being here

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well, that’s partly because, being undead, I don’t strictly need to sleep.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh, I see

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Which frees up lots of online time.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] don’t you have work you need to do in the undercity, though?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh give ’em enough time, they be makin’ lots more places “secure.”

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] so for right now the game is a way for us to still hang out together a little

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Yes, but I just take it with me everywhere.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Some of the warlocks worked out a way to project a likeness of my computer screen onto a writing tablet I carry around – an Eye Pad of Kilrogg, they call it.


You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: anyway, I got down there without much trouble

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] The name, I will admit, is inelegant. I may have marketing give it another pass.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] EVEN IF I’M STILL KIND OF A NOOB

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: What’s da word from Trall?

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: Ji?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] its ok, sweetie, being a newbie might be a nice change of pace for you

[Guild][Lorthemar] You know, it’s a funny coincidence, I’m doing some traveling for work as well.

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] I know how dat goes, mon.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: all clear so far

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] LOR’THEMAR

[Officer][Lorthemar] Yes?

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Dis game be a way for me ta talk ta people too.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: nobody seems to have noticed anything going on down there

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh wow small world

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] -Don’t- say any more about what you’re doing.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Improbable though it would seem, I don’t think she realizes who you really are.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: which is kind of weird, considering it’s been months since they took out the kor’kron occupation

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Been tryin’ ta not talk too much fa real what wit I got a nasty sore troat dese days, mon.

[Officer][Lorthemar] Yeah, don’t remind me. I get that a lot.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well, yes, there’s that.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i hope you feel better, bobby

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: While Garrosh still be in Pandaria, Eitrigg be da one mindin’ da store in Orgrimmar

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But you’re also wasting a potential tactical advantage if you give away too much around her.

[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] has earned the achievement [Grand Central Station]!

[EdwardBear | Ji] has earned the achievement [Grand Central Station]!

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: He be no friend a da changes Malkorok been makin’ in da Kor’kron.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: yeah

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Hey, grats, mon!

[Officer][Lorthemar] How do you mean?

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I just wish things would get back to normal again

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: or more normal at least

[Guild][Lorthemar] Congratulations, all!

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: sorry, leslie was running me and puff through an instance

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] THANKS DEAR

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] …Really?

[Officer][Lorthemar] Really what?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] my pleasure sweetie =)

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: i didn’t see your tell till just now

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Dey gonna get worse before dey get better, mon.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: yeah

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] ty leslie

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: it’s ok

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Has…nobody told you who Proudleslie is?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] yw eddie

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I haven’t…

[Officer][Lorthemar] No, who is she?

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: did you find anything out?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] OH WOW ONE MORE BUBBLE AND I’LL LEVEL TOO

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh boy

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Proudleslie is Jaina Proudmoore.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: I talked to thrall, yeah

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] next thing u know your going to be all grown up!

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] = )

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: had to be careful not to give away too much

[Officer][Lorthemar] …

[Officer][Lorthemar] She’s…she’s… WHY??

[Officer][Lorthemar] WHY would we let her be in the guild?

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: what did he say?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] then i can get you all geared up and ready for big people adventures!

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] Sylvanas convinced Garrosh to let her stay.

[Officer][Lorthemar] By convincing him we’re living in Upside Down Crazy Land??

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: the easiest place for you to reach the earthen ring is at the twilight citadel


You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: most of their heavy hitters are still over at the maelstrom, but they usually don’t let just anyone over there

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] No, Regent-Lord, by pointing out that keeping her close, without her knowing who -we- are, puts us in a position to ply her for information that might be of use to us.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] how’s that been working out for you, by the way?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] aww, anything for my baby

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: ok

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Hush now. It’s an ongoing project.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate, Lor’themar, please try to be careful what you say

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: so your best bet is to head down to the twilight highlands

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i kinda like getting to take care of you here after everything you do for me

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] MY PLEASURE, M’LADY

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: they’ve been working on setting up again there since the twilight’s hammer was driven out

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] <3

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: what’s that?

[Officer][Lorthemar] Ugh, fine.

[Officer][Lorthemar] This is not good for my rage.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] aww thats my lil puffy magic dragon =)

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: what’s what?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] = )

[Officer][Lorthemar] And of course Garrosh took the anger management counselor with him to Pandaria.

[Officer][Lorthemar] To spite me, I’ll bet you anything.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] plus did i mention you look sexy as a fireman?

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: the twilight’s hammer

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] rawr  😉

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] To be fair, keeping an anger management specialist close to Garrosh is probably a wise move.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] she’s kind of got you there

[Officer][Lorthemar] *looks in guild chat*

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji] long story

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i wish i could adequately impress upon you the sheer magnitude of the fact that you’re making *me* want to vomit.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh boo prof, havent u ever been in love before

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji] last year’s bad guys

[Officer][Lorthemar] I can’t believe this woman is beating me.

[Officer][Lorthemar] Anyway…

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: oh

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] as a matter of fact.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] what happened?

[Officer][Lorthemar] Let’s talk about something else before I get too annoyed.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] the scourge.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh =(

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] at any rate, i should log for now, i have some packing to do.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: i really don’t know if it’s going to accomplish much going to them, though

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Be seein’ ya, mon!

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] BYE PROF

[Officer][Lorthemar] Hmm, speaking of which, do you know anything about what’s going on with Faranell?

[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged off.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] sorry if i brought up bad memories prof

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: it’s worth a try

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I was going to ask you, actually.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] blah missed him

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] All I know is that he’s going to Orgrimmar at the request of your Lady Liadrin.

[Officer][Lorthemar] That’s all I know as well.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: if anyone will have any ideas about what happened to mokvar, it would be them

[Officer][Lorthemar] Liadrin told me she was requesting Faranell from you, but was rather dodgy about details.

[Officer][Lorthemar] I’d assumed she would have told you more.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: i hate to say it, but i think we might already know what happened to mokvar

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Not particularly, only that she had need of his alchemical skills for some of her work with the Dalaran refugees.

[Officer][Lorthemar] Don’t they have apothecaries in Orgrimmar?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] Tons over in the Valley of Spirits.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I raised that point myself. All she would say was that it’s a matter of some delicacy and she would prefer to call on someone she knows.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: it’s possible mokvar is really gone

[Officer][Lorthemar] It’s exhausting having our supposed underlings running around on their own like this.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Preaching to the choir, Regent-Lord.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: if he is, and i go, then he won’t be any more gone, and all i’ll have done is waste some of my own time

[Officer][Lorthemar] We need better minions.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We really do.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: if he’s not, and i don’t go, then it might cost us something more valuable

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: the only mistake would be not to act

[Officer][Lorthemar] Hmm, guild chat is quiet.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: believe me, I hope you find something.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: I’m just trying not to get my hopes up

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Jaina and Kalecgos are probably talking in tells.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: well either way, i should be back soon

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: i should get going

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: me too

[Officer][Lorthemar] I wonder what they’re talking about that’s so secret.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: talk to you soon

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: good luck

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Probably you.

You have logged off.


Spazzle Speaks


Lady Liadrin arrived in Orgrimmar yesterday with a zeppelin full of refugees from Dalaran. Earlier this morning, she got a few of us together to have that conversation she’d written to me about.


Oh man.

I don’t even know where to…I mean…


You know what? I can’t even get into it. I just can’t.




Oh man.


Spazzle Speaks: Someone Must Have Kicked You Around Some


I just received a message from Lady Liadrin in Silvermoon. As if there wasn’t already enough going on these days, it looks like the Kirin Tor have gone crazy.

After Horde agents captured the Divine Bell from Darnassus, Liadrin says, Jaina Proudmoore determined that the operation had received aid from within the Kirin Tor. She was…none too pleased about that. As a result, she arrested Aethas Sunreaver as a traitor and began a purge of Dalaran that’s been going on for the last few days. The Sunreavers and any Horde citizens in the city are being arrested or driven out. Or worse.

Grand Magister Rommanth recruited the aid of Horde adventurers to try to get as many of their people out of Dalaran as possible. Since then, there’s been a flood of refugees coming into Silvermoon. Liadrin has been helping to coordinate the influx of refugees as they’ve arrived. While most of the arrivals from Dalaran have been Sunreavers – blood elves – there were also other Horde citizens who were driven out. Orcs, trolls, tauren, even a few Forsaken. Liadrin has been working to sort out who will be staying in Silvermoon and who needs to be brought home to Kalimdor.

That’s where we get to her reason for contacting me. To be honest, I was surprised to get a message from her at all, seeing as she’s never actually met me, but I guess she picked up my name somewhere. She says she’s working with Eitrigg to arrange to bring a zeppelin of refugees to Orgrimmar. When she arrives, she wants to meet with as many of Garrosh’s friends as possible. (She can probably use a fairly liberal definition of “friends” and not tax her schedule too much.) She didn’t say what she wants to talk about, only that it’s important. I guess we’ll see once she gets here.