Tag Archives: jaina proudmoore
The fall of Theramore
Victory from the jaws of defeat.
Or, no, that’s not quite accurate. Defeat was never really in the picture. This was more victory from under the guide of defeat.
That much sweeter, in a way. Let the humans think they’d won, right up to the moment that their doom became inescapable. The moment they realized it was upon them, and had nothing left to do but stand there helplessly and watch it come.
Today was a good day.
After we left Northwatch Hold, we marched south and made short work of Fort Triumph. I couldn’t help chuckling at the irony of the name while we annihilated what passed for its defenses. I think our soldiers were so eager for battle after the long wait at Northwatch that they threw themselves with ever great ferocity into the fight once it finally came.
The long wait at Northwatch. To them – what? – six days?
They’ll never know how long their Warchief had been waiting for this moment.
We continued on our way into Dustwallow Marsh and divided our forces at the fork in the road. Half of our troops traveled north with me, while half went east with Malkorok. We would meet at Theramore and strike both its gates at the same time. As my half of the army made its way north, we added reinforcements from Brackenwall Village – Krog and Draz’Zilb among them – then continued on our way toward Theramore.
My contingent was the first to reach the city. Jaina had recruited aid from the Kirin Tor to help strengthen the city’s defenses against our battering rams and siege engines. It was a wise decision on her part. Pity I’d been counting on it. Me and…what’s his name, the blood elf guy. I can never remember. I should probably work on that, seeing as he really stepped up to the plate with more than one part of this plan.
See, Jaina had called in mages from the Kirin Tor to help hold the Theramore gates against our attack. A powerful mage could reinforce a gate for a good long time against our siege. As it happened, though, one of those crucial, city-saving mages was a guy by the name of Thalen Songweaver.
A blood elf.
See if you can guess who writes his checks.
Down came the gates, and in came the Horde.
Malkorok’s forces joined ours in the midst of it all, and Captain Drok and the rest of the Horde fleet hit the harbor. Our troops flooded into Theramore, laying waste to its defenders. Jaina and her wizard friends did a decent job of chipping away at our numbers from above, but on the ground, none of the Theramore soldiers could hold their own against our assault.
Everything was going perfectly until Jaina’s new blue dragon friend turned up and started dropping boulders and trees over the broken gate. Kalecgos… I remember meeting him, once, just after Deathwing’s defeat. Apparently mortality’s left him pretty damn bored these days, because now he had nothing better to do than meddle in battles that were none of his concern. Problem was – as Baine and Vol’jin were only too quick to point out – at the rate the big lizard was going, he would shore up the opening right quick, and seal us all inside. At that point, closed in without any further reinforcements from outside, it would just be a matter of time before the mages picked us off.
So, I ordered our forces to fall back. We cleared out of the city and retreated to the north and west. We all regrouped just west of the bridge over Dustwallow Bay, overlooking Theramore. Baine was less than thrilled about how things had gone. Can’t really blame him, though, considering he wasn’t seeing the big picture. The foolish tauren thought the siege was all there was to this attack. For all he could see, this was a loss.
But see, here’s the thing. When you fight me, there’s never just one piece to the plan I throw at you. Sure, it would have been nice if the siege had gone perfectly. But that’s the beauty of it all. It didn’t have to.
Welcome to fighting Garrosh Hellscream, Theramore. Evern when I lose, I win.
Sure, you fought off the attack on your gates… And kept yourselves busy while Drok slipped into the harbor and dropped off a small, elite strike team, who crippled your aerial defenses and recovered our agent Thalen Songweaver.
And sure, you managed to secure that north gate again… And sealed yourselves in, within the city walls. With some of the Alliance’s greatest generals, who’d come to aid in the defense. Closed in together. Nice and compact. All in one place.
Boy, it sure would suck for you if I had, say, a giant bomb I could drop on you right now.
Oh, wait. I do.
Goblin sky galleon. Blood elf mana bomb. And the immeasurable power of a handy little relic called the Focusing Iris.
Goodbye, Theramore.
The troops cheered around me as I pointed to our victory and the sky glowed white and purple with the aftershocks of the mana explosion. Louder and louder, raucous voices all around me. Some stared in shock, confusion, maybe even…misguided disapproval. No matter. Give them time. They’ll come around. Eventually, victory wins everyone over. And we won.
I turned and looked over the bay, holding Gorehowl over my head, taking in the sight of our triumph, of the mark we had left on this world, never to be forgotten.
Deep down, in some tiny, hollow corner, I knew it still wasn’t quite enough.
But it would do. For a start.
Wrath of the Lich King
Show time.
The group assembled today on the Windrunner: me, both Saurfangs, Liadrin, Edwin, Jaina, Mokvar, Dontrag, and Utvoch. I figured the way the Scourge have swarmed through practically all of Northrend, I’d just as soon not leave anything to chance, which is why we brought so much heavy-artillery personnel. Drok and his crew had the ship ready to go, and we set off for the Nexus in Coldarra. Once we had the Focusing Iris, we’d head straight for Dalaran, where Jaina’s Kirin Tor friends would be ready to port us straight to the Caverns of Time.
We arrived at the Nexus and docked the ship on one of the upper ring platforms that was equipped with a teleportation orb. One problem: the platform was swarming with Scourge – all the platforms were. Vargul and skeletons mostly, with a couple necromancer types lurking around the back.
I’ll tell you, Mokvar was right the other day. This really wasn’t fair.
Between me whirlwinding through skeletons by the bushel, Liadrin Diving Storming her way right through the heart of them, Jaina flame-roasting undead in bunches, and – yup – Saurfangs Young and Old cleaving down everything in sight, it didn’t take us long to clear a path to the teleportation orb. The only down side was that those necromancers kept summoning more undead, and every so often a proto-drake would fly by and drop another damn vrykul to help keep the influx coming.
GARROSH: They’re not getting anywhere, but neither are we if we just stay up here all day killing these fuckers…
The necromancers cast another summoning spell, and some hundred new skeletons appear on the platform.
LIADRIN: <slashing by one of the vargul> We don’t all need to be up here – you go, I’ll stay and protect the ship.
GARROSH: You sure? There’s still an awful lot of them.
Liadrin rushes into a cluster of vargul, dropping them all with another spinning Divine Storm. As she finishes her follow-through, she lands on one knee, slamming the Ashbringer down onto the platform floor; a shimmering flash of yellow-white light bursts from the Ashbringer and shoots out in a horizontal shockwave in all directions. The light rips through the skeletons and sends them spilling onto the floor, burning with holy fire. Still on one knee, Liadrin tilts her head up at Garrosh.
LIADRIN: I’m not worried.
Jaina runs to a clear area near the gunship and starts channeling a spell. A glowing blue runic circle begins to appear on the floor beneath her.
JAINA: ’m placing a portal marker here. Once we have the Focusing Iris, I’ll be able to teleport us directly back.
Several more vargul drop onto the platform. While Liadrin engages them, several val’kyr and gargoyles descend down over the Windrunner.
SAURFANG: <rushing back to the gunship and cleaving through gargoyles> I’ll stay back as well to help guard the ship.
MOKVAR: Well now you’re just running up the score on them.
SAURFANG: The rest of you – go!
DRANOSH: You all heard the man. Let’s get moving.
We took the teleportation orb into the Nexus. The sight that greeted us froze us all in our tracks. Around the circular room and down every hall, the ground was littered with the lifeless bodies of blue dragons. We all just stared for a minute while the sight sunk in. I think it hit Jaina the hardest, what with her probably having had some dealings with the blues over the years. She knelt down over one of the dead dragons and put a hand over its face.
JAINA: This… I know her. This is… Her name is…was Kirygosa. She was a daughter of Malygos…
UTVOCH: Wait, when you said there were going to be a lot of dragons here, I thought you meant they were going to be alive.
GARROSH: …Seriously?
FARANELL: That’s got to be an act, right? I mean he can’t possibly really be that stupid.
MOKVAR: Dontrag and Utvoch: raising the bar on lowering the bar, since the dawn of time.
DONTRAG: Hey, I didn’t say anything!
GARROSH: Yet.
DRANOSH: <surveying the halls> Most of the… <glances back at Jaina, then lowers his voice slightly> …most of the blood seems fresh. Whoever did this did it fairly recently.
GARROSH: Probably still nearby.
Jaina stands slowly, still looking down at the bodies.
JAINA: Kalecgos considered her one of his dearest friends…
DRANOSH: The next time you see him, you can tell him all about the world of pain we brought down on the ones who did this to her.
GARROSH: It has to be the Scourge, based on upstairs. Not sure why they’d be coming after the blue dragons, though.
JAINA: At this point, they’re one of the only major powers left between them and all of Northrend… It was only a matter of time before they struck here.
GARROSH: That’s the thing, though – yeah, they have the Horde and Alliance on the ropes, but why wouldn’t they finish them off first, THEN take on the dragons? The Lich King has to know he’s got the upper hand. Why divide his efforts?
DRANOSH: Maybe he wants to finish both off quickly?
GARROSH: All the time we were up here fighting him, did you ever know Arthas to be impatient?
JAINA: He’s not. Anymore.
DRANOSH: <shrugs> Either way. I am the impatient type – let’s go find that Focusing Iris and let it be finished.
We made our way deeper into the Nexus, finding more slain dragons all the way. As we worked our way down a long, descending passageway, we could hear sounds of combat, and reptilian cries of pain. I ordered Dontrag and Utvoch to make sure they kept Edwin safe under pain of so-much-worse-than-death-your-admittedly-limited-brains-would-melt-just-trying-to-imagine-it. The bottom of the passage was dark and filled with shadows. As the floor leveled out from the end of our descent, we turned a corner and came to a doorway.
The room was large and circular, with crystalline patterns in the walls and floor, like so many of the other rooms here. In the center of the room, hovering in the air of its own accord, was the Focusing Iris – an enormous blue orb, glowing with arcane power. On the far side of the room, four humanoids – a human, a tauren, and a pair of dwarves – all wearing armor like that of a death knight, stood over bodies of blue dragons. More bodies filled the room, and the air reeked with the smell of draconic blood. Two more death knights, a draenei and a troll, flanked the doorway on either side, and as we came around the corner they called out a warning.
And as the sentries cried out, in the center of the room, out from behind the Focusing Iris stepped Tirion Fordring. Covered in spiked black armor, wielding a runeblade, eyes glowing a deathly pale blue. I’ll tell you, I was never crazy about Tirion, but this was still horrible to see. Even Tirion deserved better than this.
TIRION: <grinning broadly> Ah, how serendipitous! It appears fate has set us all upon a parallel venture, and I find myself reunited with personages of no small familiarity. I greet you all, good orcs and humans, and welcome you to the curtain’s rise on the final act of this grand endeavor!
GARROSH: By the spirits…
Tirion gestures to his minions.
DRANOSH: What?
Tirion’s Deathbringers rush at the group, blades poised.
GARROSH: He still loves to talk.
Jaina casts a Cone of Cold that slows the death knights’ approach.
DRANOSH: <shrugs> Time to do what we do. Lok’tar!
GARROSH: For the Horde!
DONTRAG and UTVOCH: For the Horde!
MOKVAR: For the Horde!
JAINA: Um, actually…
Jaina exchanges a shrug with Faranell.
Okay. Whatever.
Garrosh, Dranosh, Dontrag, and Utvoch rush forward to engage the Deathbringers, and the two groups battle back and forth, with Tirion lurking by the Focusing Iris, watching and taunting.
TIRION: Good, my glorious vassals, unleash your fury and show these intruders the fate that awaits those who would interfere with the work of our dread lord the Lich King! Woe be to any who stand against us! Their ruined bodies shall be the latest paving the way to our inevitable dominion over this world!
GARROSH: <exchanging blows with the tauren> The hell are you even HERE for, Tirion? What do you fuckers even want with the Focusing Iris?
TIRION: Well could I ask you the same, young Hellscream! But as it will profit you naught, I will tell you, so that you might meet your end knowing the full scope of your failure, and indeed the hand you and your ilk have had in bringing forth this very hour!
DRANOSH: <aside> That’s it, get him monologuing…
GARROSH: <aside> He’s going to be monologuing anyway, might as well get him going on something useful maybe…
Dranosh and Garrosh continue pushing back the tauren and human. Dontrag and Utvoch spar with the two dwarves, aided by chain lightning from Mokvar, while Jaina launches a seething fireball that incinerates the troll.
TIRION: Did you truly believe your ill-fated ploy to deny the Lich King your precious Sunwell would go unanswered? That the master of the Scourge would be halted by your sad, trifling magician’s tricks? You merely delayed the inevitable; and now, with the Focusing Iris in hand, the Lich King’s mightiest seers will shatter the meddlesome bubble conjured by that poor, doomed, suddenly so very solitary dragon Kalecgos—
Jaina lets loose another pair of fireballs, finishing the dwarven death knights fighting Dontrag and Utvoch.
JAINA: Kalcgos’ flight had no part in this war, Tirion! The old you – the real you – he would be sickened to see what you’ve done to these innocents!
TIRION: Oh, Lady Proudmoore, do not be so naïve as to think the blues innocent – or yourself. It was Kalecgos who chose to throw in his lot with your kind and aid in your foolish charade at the Sunwell, and all of you who interfered in the Scourge’s march. The Lich King was content to leave these pitiable lizards be – for now. It was you who forced his hand, you who altered his plans, you who made the Focusing Iris a necessary implement—
DRANOSH: Spirits, he likes to talk…
GARROSH: Dude, you have NO IDEA.
TIRION: —and you, all of you, who helped bring this fate upon the Blue Dragonflight today! From their blood shall flow the coming of a new age for this world! From their deaths shall be forged a new future, bathed in carnage!
JAINA: <gathering a fiery glow in her hands> You want carnage? Arthas will have more blood than he ever bargained for!
Jaina unleashes a massive fireball that tears through the draenei death knight and badly burns the tauren and human – whom Dranosh and Garrosh quickly finish off – and hurls Tirion back against the far wall.
DRANOSH: Remind me not to piss her off.
GARROSH: No shit, right?
Tirion pulls himself up and faces the group.
TIRION: You all shall pay dearly for—
DRANOSH: <charging in and knocking Tirion a few steps back> Pro tip, Tirion – when your boys are taking it on the chin, might be a good idea to stop running your mouth for a minute and help them out.
Garrosh joins in, and Tirion begins scrambling to deflect both orcs’ blows.
TIRION: You think I fear you, boy? Through the Lich King I have seen power the likes of which you cannot comprehend! By his will I have cast off death itself, and risen anew, ascended, greater than I might ever have dreamed in my former, paltry, limited existence! You do not know what you trifle with, you—
As Dranosh and Garrosh unleash a flurry of blows from both sides, Jaina singes Tirion with a surge of flame, then freezes him in place with a frost nova, throwing off his footing.
GARROSH: Tirion…
Garrosh locks one of his axes in a parry with Tirion, then drops his second axe from his free hand and swings his fist under the runeblade and into Tirion’s gut.
Shut.
Garrosh breaks the parry, forcing Tirion’s blade hand to swing to one side, where Dranosh hacks it away at the wrist.
The fuck.
Garrosh and Dranosh bring their axes down from either side, slamming viciously into the base of Tirion’s neck.
UP!
Tirion slumps lifeless to the floor.
JAINA: <looking down sadly at the body> You have been missed, old friend. May your spirit finally find its rest now.
MOKVAR: Okay, let’s get what we came for and go.
JAINA: Let me get it into a more manageable form…
Jaina holds her hands out to the Focusing Iris and begins channeling beams of arcane magic into it. Slowly, the Focusing Iris shrinks until it has been reduced to a shimmering blue sphere about a foot in diameter, hovering in the air.
There…now we just need to—
Jaina is interrupted by a shadowy, purple tendril of magic that lashes out at her from the doorway and yanks her back toward it. Her body flies backward through the air and – with a hideous slicing sound – into a blade held out from the dark hallway:
Frostmourne.
As Dranosh steps in to catch the falling Focusing Iris, the Lich King strides into the room, Jaina’s body still impaled on the runebalde.
LICH KING: Impressive…
The Lich King shakes Frostmourne, dropping Jaina’s body to the ground.
Most impressive.
UTVOCH: Okay, this isn’t so bad, there’s just one of him against all of us…
The Lich King drives Frostmourne’s blade into the floor, releasing a shockwave that knocks the group back against the far wall of the room. As they recover, the Lich King hold Frostmourne aloft and begins channeling a spell.
LICH KING: Now then…a further test…
Crackling purple energy shoots out of Frostmourne in all directions. Slowly, the dozens of dragon corpses around the room begin to rise, eyes glowing a dull blue, bodies withered and gaunt.
GARROSH: Oh…shit…
DONTRAG: You really have to keep your mouth shut, Ut.
The nearest few reanimated dragons rush at them. Garrosh, Dontrag, and Utvoch step in to intercept them and start to fight them back, with Mokvar and Faranell casting spells at them from behind.
The Lich King continues channeling. After a few seconds, Jaina’s body rises from the floor; her hair has turned white save for a single blonde streak, and her eyes shimmer with a lifeless blue glow. She looks around the room, then faces the Lich King.
JAINA: A-Arthas…?
LICH KING: I have missed you…my Queen.
Jaina grins hideously, turns, and unleashes an enormous fireball that incinerates two of the dragons on its way toward Faranell.
DONTRAG: Doc!
UTVOCH: Look out!
Dontrag lunges at Faranell while Utvoch rushes in from the opposite side. Dontrag shoves Faranell out of the fireball’s path, just before the flames reduce both him and Utvoch to smoldering heaps of ash.
DRANOSH: Edwin! Jaina was our ride out. That’s your job now – port us out of here, and fast!
FARANELL: But— I’m not that powerful a mage!
Dranosh shoves the Focusing Iris into Faranell’s hands; a bluish white glow shimmers over his body.
DRANOSH: You are now. Fire it up!
Garrosh and Mokvar – both fighting dragons – back up toward Dranosh and Faranell. Faranell closes his eyes, mutters an incantation, and teleports the group away in a blinding flash.
We reappeared up on the ring platform where we’d docked – a few yards off from Jaina’s targeting rune, but hey, I’m not going to nitpick over a clutch save from Edwin. When we appeared, we were greeted by the sight of an enormous pile of Scourge corpses that formed a hill leading up to the Windrunner. Dozens of vargul, hundreds of ghouls and skeletons, val’kyr, geists, a couple frost wyrms…and sitting on top of the pile were Liadrin and Saurfang, taking turns drinking from a waterskin.
LIADRIN: <looks up at them> What kept you?
DRANOSH: We had guests.
GARROSH: Come on, everyone get on the ship.
SAURFANG: Where are the others? Lady Proudmoore, and the…cerebrally inexpansive duo?
GARROSH: They didn’t make it.
SAURFANG: What happened?
DRANOSH: Arthas is here.
LIADRIN: By the Light… Get on board, and quickly!
GARROSH: What happened to you not being worried?
LIADRIN: I wasn’t.
DRANOSH: Fire it up, Captain! Top speed to Dalaran!
The group boards the Windrunner, which disembarks from the platform. After a moment, the ship shakes and creaks, then begins to slide slowly backwards.
DRANOSH: Um, Drok? I don’t think I said anything about reverse.
DROK: We’re still on full ahead, sir, I don’t—
GARROSH: Uh, I think you guys might want to have a look at this…
They turn to look back at the ring platform, where the Lich King now stands, channeling a dark purple band of energy from his hand that grips the gunship, and using it to slowly tug the ship back toward the Nexus.
MOKVAR: He’s— he’s death-gripping the ship! How is he death-gripping the whole ship?!
DRANOSH: Drok, this would be a good time to give the engines a little extra – we’ve got to get out of here!
DROK: I’m giving them everything she’s got, sir! I can’t change the laws of physics!
Saurfang stands at the railing, watching as the Lich King slowly drags the gunship back toward him. Saurfang looks back at Dranosh, then to Garrosh.
SAURFANG: He’s looked out for you since you were children.
Garrosh gives a quizzical look, then nods.
Look out for him now.
Saurfang turns and launches himself off the deck, toward the platform below.
FOR THE HORDE!
Saurfang barrels into the Lich King and they both crash onto the floor. With the Lich King’s death grip broken, the gunship lurches forward again and starts to pull away from the Nexus.
DRANOSH: Father! No!
Garrosh intercepts Dranosh as he rushes to the edge of the ship and pulls him back.
GARROSH: Get us OUT of here, Captain!
DRANOSH: <spinning back toward Drok, still in Garrosh’s grip> No! Turn us around, Drok, we have to—
Garrosh spins Dranosh back to face him.
GARROSH: You know what he’s doing! DON’T LET IT BE FOR NOTHING!
Dranosh stops struggling. Garrosh releases him, and as the gunship continues its escape, he walks to the railing and looks down at the platform, where the Lich King knocks Saurfang away from him.
LICH KING: Foolish old orc! You dare stand against me? Do you know how many of your kind I’ve slain?
SAURFANG: You…murdered…children. <draws his axe> You answer to Saurfang now!
Saurfang charges the Lich King furiously, cleaving and slashing with his axe. The Lich King parries with Frostmourne, and the two grapple back and forth as the platform shrinks from view.
I’m writing from the Windrunner now. We should reach Dalaran soon. I’ll update again when I can, if the news is good. If it isn’t, I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be here to keep updating.
In the meantime, we continue on our way to Dalaran.
In silence.
[Header image of the Nexus provided by regular reader and commenter ZugZug. Gunship image provided by Rioriel from Postcards From Azeroth; click here to see the souped-up Postcard version! Both images used with permission and many thanks.]
The parting of ways
Dranosh and the others arrived with the Windrunner this morning, along with a surprise – Jaina Proudmoore. The message I’d sent to Dranosh in Theramore said there’s a chance to fix things but we need to get the Focusing Iris from Northrend, and when Jaina heard that part, she volunteered – check that, insisted – she join the party. Imagine my delight. Still, the enemy of my enemy, I guess.
So far this morning, we’ve had an uncharacteristic run of mostly good news. Based on the head counts, most of the civilians got out of Orgrimmar in time. Military losses were heavy – in addition to Vol’jin and Zaela, it turns out Nazgrim didn’t make it out – but still not as disastrous as they could have been. Dranosh brought the remaining civilians – Horde and Theramore alike – with him along with a few support officers. Thunder Bluff is farther from the combat zone, it’s separated by natural barriers, and its position on these mesas makes it easier to defend. There really isn’t anywhere SAFE to tuck away the civilians anymore, but this is the safest of unsafe options.
The better news is that a couple hours into scouring the city this morning, Utvoch earned his keep and spotted Edwin over on the Spirit Rise. He’s spooked as all hell, no surprise – he got dropped into this world just in time for the attack on Orgrimmar, without warning or context or any friends from the Caverns of Time to help make sense of it for him. I’ll try to start filling in some of the blanks for him on the way to Northrend. Gotta say, I’m not looking forward to explaining how his brother fits into all this.
Other than loading up the Windrunner with a few supplies, there’s just one piece of business to tend to.
CAIRNE: I understand the honor you show me today, Warchief, and I will strive to be worthy of it. As I have watched over the tauren, so too will I watch over the people of the Horde.
DRANOSH: I’m hopeful that we’ll return soon successfully. But if we don’t, I need to be sure that our people will be left in good hands. Now they will. May the spirits guide you, Cairne. Let everything you do be done for the Horde.
Dranosh salutes Cairne. Cairne responds in kind.
They’re yours now, Warchief Bloodhoof. Lead them well. Aka’Magosh – for the Horde!
CAIRNE: For the Horde.
ALL ASSEMBLED: For the Horde!
DRANOSH: <clasping Cairne’s hand> I hate to abdicate and run, but I have a few last preparations to make before we go.
CAIRNE: I understand, Warchief.
DRANOSH: <grins and walks away> Call me Dranosh.
Dranosh walks off. Garrosh approaches Cairne.
GARROSH: I should probably go help him in a minute.
CAIRNE: You have important work ahead of you, I know.
GARROSH: <glancing around and nodding> So many things that aren’t what they should be.
CAIRNE: Overlord, if I may offer a word of counsel?
Garrosh nods.
Do not trouble yourself so deeply over what should be. It is something I have noticed in you, Garrosh – your readiness to point to what should be, and recoil against the world for failing to be so. As if it has wronged you. It is, I suspect, the source of so much of your anger, your impatience, your…
GARROSH: <faintly grinning> Are you saying I have a temper?
CAIRNE: You’ve heard this before?
Garrosh chuckles.
I merely mean to say, Garrosh, that there is little to be gained in fretting away one’s life with should be. “I should be higher rank by now.” “This land should be ours.” “He should agree.” “She should love me.” There is no should be; there is only is. And there is no deeper well of discontent, no darker shadow to impoverish our lives as they are, then a misguided sense of should be to nag at us by false compare. “Should be”: so simple a phrase to nourish so many agonies of the spirit.
Cairne hesitates a moment, then tilts his head with the hint of a smile.
Pardon me, I prattle on. You’ll forgive an old man his ramblings.
GARROSH: You wear it a lot better than Tirion ever did. <pauses, then grins sadly> I think I should have listened to you more.
CAIRNE: There you go again. <smiles> But you are listening now.
GARROSH: Well, hopefully you’ll let one more “should be” slide. <looks up at Cairne a moment, then offers his hand> Dranosh made the right choice. You should be Warchief.
CAIRNE: <gripping Garrosh’s hand> And so I am. In this, for once, you need not torment yourself, my young friend.
Garrosh looks around briefly.
GARROSH: I don’t know if we’ll be back here again.
CAIRNE: Nonsense. I have every confidence you will be successful, Garrosh.
GARROSH: <looks at Cairne uncomfortably> Still. Just in case. <stares at him a moment more> I don’t think I’ve told you that I admire you. If you don’t see me again…know that honor and respect for you went with me to the end of my days.
CAIRNE: <nods slowly> May they be many, Overlord. And thank you.
I left Cairne and made my way over to the docking station on the Spirit Rise to meet Dranosh. When I got there, he was standing on the edge of the rise, overlooking western Mulgore, and in the middle of a rather pointed discussion with…ahem…a familiar face.
DRANOSH: I understand your concerns, General, but I’m confident in Warlord Cromush’s forces at the new front.
KROM’GAR: I simply don’t see the wisdom of taking one of our newer gunships out of the fight in order to go on – I’m sorry – some fool’s errand in Northrend.
DRANOSH: Overlord Hellscream assures me—
KROM’GAR: Overlord Hellscream, as far as we know, may simply be putting as much distance as possible between himself and death by inventing some secret mission to fly off to!
DRANOSH: I’m going as well, Krom’gar. Are you going to accuse me of cowardice, too?
KROM’GAR: Begging your pardon, sir, but—
DRANOSH: Let me be frank, General. With the state of affairs in Kalimdor, one more gunship will not make much difference here. But one gunship in Northrend might be able to put an end to this mess before it’s even started.
KROM’GAR: But how, sir? Why do you even believe—
As Dranosh and Krom’gar talk, Garrosh walks over to them. Before Krom’gar can finish his sentence, Garrosh steps up next to him and casually shoves him off the edge of the rise, sending him plummeting to the ground far below.
GARROSH: Don’t listen to that guy. He’s a dick.
DRANOSH: <blinks a moment and glances over the edge> Wow, you really don’t like him, do you?
GARROSH: Let’s just say we have some history. Or did.
DRANOSH: Lucky for you I was considering the same thing when he started calling you a coward.
Garrosh looks over at the Windrunner being loaded with supplies.
GARROSH: You know…this mission we’re going on… I know I haven’t exactly been open about a lot of the details. I’m figuring based on where I had to go for information that you can guess some of the reason why. And yeah, there are some details going on here that I really can’t tell you, but you have to understand—
DRANOSH: How long have you known me?
GARROSH: Huh?
DRANOSH: Since we were, what, six? How many times has one of us saved the other’s neck? You’re telling me we need to do this. You think I need more than that? It’s getting done, period. You don’t need to sell me, Garrosh. I trust you with my life.
I’m going to skip over the part where I looked over the edge for a second and wondered if Krom’gar could use some company in splat-land.
Oh, but also, speaking of Krom’gar, it bears repeating:
Anyway. Here’s the plan from this point: we’re taking off for Northrend within the hour, and will rendezvous with Liadrin and the rest of our people at the Argent Vanguard. We’re keeping the group relatively small – me, Dranosh, Mokvar. Edwin. Captain Drok, obviously, since the Windrunner is his ship, plus a minimal crew to operate it. Dontrag, Utvoch…Jaina…you’ll notice who I just lumped together there. Jaina’s put her Kirin Tor friends on notice, so once we get the Focusing Iris from Coldarra, we’ll high-tail it to Dalaran, where they’ll be able to port us directly to the Caverns of Time. From there, with any luck, it’ll be a short trip to Normal-ville.
Time for me to get on board. More updates soon.
[Header image of Thunder Bluff provided by Angelya from Revive and Rejuvenate. “Dismissed” image provided by Rades from Orcish Army Knife. Both images used here with permission and many thanks.]
Because the Old Gods
In my mailbag this past week, I received a note from Gamon asking why people seem to keep attacking him. I really didn’t have any good explanation for him – he always seemed like a nice enough dude to me, so I’m not sure why so many people want to start shit with him – so I offered a mostly joking answer that maybe it’s because of the Old Gods.
Thing is, while I was mostly kidding, it wasn’t a coincidence that I came up with the Old Gods as an explanation. A couple days before on Twitter, @justanna was asking about an oddity, and I offered the best explanation I could think of:
(For those of you not up to date on your internet lingo, “WoW” is the current trendy online abbreviation for “Whole of World,” as in “frigging everywhere.”)
Because if there’s one thing we’ve learned the last few years, it’s that when in doubt about why something happened, “the Old Gods” is never a bad guess. And so, when I saw Gamon’s letter, I already had the Old Gods on the brain.
By the way, what the hell are “ducks”?
Anyhow, since I’ve been mulling this over the last few days anyway, I thought I’d take some time to share a few other little-known facts about everyone’s favorite Big and Tentacly Dudes from Someplace Unspecified Down Below. Hold the presses, kids, here’s a partial list of other things that are actually the Old Gods’ fault:
- Ever notice how there are runic symbols carved into weapons and buildings and floors and a zillion other things, all over Azeroth…and yet there only seems to be like six symbols? What kind of lazy-ass runic alphabet only has six symbols, right? Well, true fact: there were originally 37 rune symbols. The Old Gods ate the other 31.
- Who the hell had the bright idea, back in the day, to have Annora, the one and only artisan-level enchanting trainer at the time, move into THE MIDDLE OF ULDAMAN, where you could only reach her by getting a bunch of your friends to help you fight your way in? Doesn’t get much more corrupted and insane than that. Old Gods strike again. Hell, she even felt compelled to go hide underground – could there be a bigger giveaway than that?
- If you go to the Orgrimmar library, and look for the classic novel Mobus-Dick, you’ll find it’s not shelved in the fiction section, but instead, mistakenly, in the cetology section. How did it get misshelved?
Old Gods.
- Ever notice how elevators always seem to start to drop at JUST the right moment, where it’s too late for you to stop running toward the ledge, but it’s enough time for them go descend enough for you to be left with a nice long splat-producing drop? Yeah, well, the magic controlling those elevator platforms was corrupted…so for all intents and purposes, all elevators are minions of the Old Gods. Specifically, one of the Old Gods – I believe his name is Goin’down’ethar. How much you want to bet that when we finally discover where he’s hidden, there won’t be any stairs?
- Mankrik’s first wife? Everybody – Mankrik included – assumes the quillboar killed her. Nope.
Old Gods.
- You know when you’re traveling from one region of the world to another, and you cross a border and all of a sudden there’s this REALLY abrupt change in the terrain? Like you’re running through snow, and then you go three yards up the road and suddenly everything is green? Or you look to your left and it’s daylight, and look to your right and you see twilight? Or, hell, you’re hovering over a mountain, and one side is all black, and one side is green, and another side is orange? And you’re sitting there wondering what the fuck happened to this schizophrenic-ass mountain?
Yep. Old Gods.
- The producers of Earth Online recently announced that the upcoming Land Down Under expansion would include less demanding instance content. There’s been a lot of nerdraging over this online, no surprise. Was this decision caused by a transparent attempt to antagonize the veteran hardcore player base by currying favor with the casuals who’ve come along in recent years and didn’t have the common decency to swing by the Caverns of Time to travel back to the halcyon days when the game was still good and start playing then so they might possibly not suck?
No, you elitist prick, get your head out of your ass. Two words: Old Gods.
- Jaina Proudmoore used to be a prim, reserved, innocent young lass. Then one day…Well…picture most of the Old Gods’ minions.
You do the math.
Durnholde Keep
After Mokvar and Faranell dropped their respective timeline bombs on us, we hashed out how best to juggle things to keep the risks to a minimum. In the middle of things, Chromie popped in just to…I don’t know…go “gee willickers” a couple times and remind us that Mokvar and Faranell absolutely must not interfere with their former selves, like we didn’t already get that. And then she blathered on about all the crap that could go wrong with the timestream if they do, and most of it pretty much just came off as “WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS BAD.”
So yeah, we’ve got to be careful about this, but the way around it seemed pretty obvious. Mokvar couldn’t run into himself at Durnholde Keep, so okay, he just wouldn’t go. He stayed back at the inn in Southshore and kept an eye out for Tirion’s people arriving while we went to Durnholde to take care of Thrall. Meanwhile, Faranell can’t interfere with his old human self, so he came with the rest of us to Durnholde – get him away from Southshore for a little while, minimize the chance for a random run in, and plus this way he could be traveling with the bunch of us at all times so we can all be giving a sort of buffer zone in case Faranell v1.0 turns up. Liadrin also had a pretty sharp idea, to have a sign/countersign for Faranell, just in case he’s ever separated from us or if anything happens where we need to make sure we’re dealing with the right Faranell. The way things tend to go for us, it’s probably a good idea not to leave anything to chance.
Side note, I’m not sure if Faranell is worried about running into his younger self, or if seeing Kel’Thuzad and Helcular just threw him or something, but he’s been acting kind of strange since he and Mokvar got back. A couple times now I’ve caught him just staring at himself in the mirror, touching his face, just seeming all kinds of distracted. Not sure what to make of that. Hopefully he’ll be able to keep his head in the game until we finish what we came for.
So anyway, I finally headed out with Faranell, Liadrin, and Utvoch, and we made our way over to Durnholde. And I’ve got to say, I don’t know WHAT was going on with that defunct Alliance group that was supposed to handle this, that they thought they needed five people to handle this job. The Noz might have been erring on the side of safety, or maybe those Alliance scrubs really do suck, but no joke, I can’t possibly exaggerate how easily we rolled over those Durnholde guards. We had to clear out the lower barracks first, where some of the orcs were being held. And then I guess one of the officers came running in, some dude named Drake, at least that’s what Liadrin tells me. I wouldn’t have thought there was anything special about the guy myself, what with how he dropped like a rock after one good chop from Gorehowl.
Anyway…at that point we were set to head into the keep proper and get Thrall. It took a few minutes to hack up the handful of guards on the way in, and then, lo and behold, there was our Warchief-to-be chilling in the basement cell. And you know, I’ve got to say, you always figure the whole time travel business is pretty straightforward as far as the do’s and don’ts, but you don’t realize how hard it can be to bite your tongue until you’re standing there with a younger version of someone you know. I had to keep stopping myself from saying things to him, not that half of what I would have to say would make any sense to him coming from my fake-ass human face.
Here’s the other thing, though. I wasn’t expecting him to be so young. I mean, I knew how old he was, it’s not hard to take now-Thrall and roll him back ten years in my head. But even beyond the ten years…he was just so YOUNG. You could see it. Even locked in a jail cell, he just seemed so…unburdened. His eyes looked so much less tired. I never even realized how much Thrall seems like he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders now, until I saw what he used to be like. Anyway.
One thing that was still the same, though – past or present, credit where it’s due, Thrall’s kind of a badass any way you cut it. In fact, I think I liked past-Thrall a little more, just because he seemed a lot more unapologetic about it. Like for instance, we broke him out of his cell, and he ran up to the keep’s armory to grab some armor and a weapon for himself. And there was this armorer guy standing watch there, and he started screaming bloody murder when he saw Thrall roll in, and before you could say “open-hand bitch-slap,” well…see for yourselves.
THRALL KEEPS THE PIMP HAND STRONG.
“That’s enough from him” is right, Thrall. Roll with it, man. Hell, bottle some of that shit up and send it to yourself ten years from now, you could use it. True story.
Anyway, the stupid humans sent a bunch more guards to try to stop us on the way out, and we made hilariously short work of them, and then I guess there was some captain that we polished off without me even realizing he was supposed to be someone important because OMG SPLAT. At that point, Thrall had the bright idea that he wanted to use the captain guy’s horse to high-tail it out of there…even though the horse was barely moving faster than we were on foot. I mean, seriously, were these the best mounts the humans had available back in the day? Really? And meanwhile Thrall was looking absolutely ridiculous sitting on top of this thing, PLUS if he was moving any slower he’d be going backwards, and for real, dude, have you just not learned ghost wolf form yet? Because even that would have been faster than this reject horse.
Anyhow, you don’t need every last painful detail. We got Thrall to Tarren Mill, and killed some more humans – always a plus – and then some of those Infinite Dragonflight guys showed up, and we handed them their asses easily enough. And then out of nowhere this fog rolled in, and – you guessed it – The Noz came pimping in to check on things, and confirmed that the timeline has been secured against the Infinite Dragonflight’s interference, and that’s nice and all, dude, but how about you leave a memo for yourself not to be a frigging douche-tard down the road so we don’t have to waste time stopping your future chronies (SEE WHAT I DID THERE?) from screwing around with things?
Oh and also? Just have to say – Thrall’s human friend Taretha? SPITTING IMAGE of Jaina. Seriously. Crossbow to my head, I could not tell those two apart. And you know what? Draw your own conclusions about her. I don’t even want to know.
We’re back at the Southshore inn now, and we just need to hold tight until Tirion and Alexandros Mograine and all those people show up. I’ll keep you posted on what happens. Or, you know, you can consult the nearest history book.
[Header image provided by Rioriel from Postcards From Azeroth, reproduced here with permission and many thanks. Click here to see the souped-up Postcard version!]
By way of apology
Taking a short break from packing a few things for Nagrand. I was just talking to Eitrigg, and he was pointing out how I got all worked up thinking Varian and Jaina were behind what happened in Demon Fall Canyon, and suggested – fasten your seat belts for this one – that I might want to do something to acknowledge that they really didn’t have anything to do with it. Like…apologize. Which in general I’ve gotta say is a pretty WTF idea, but considering how testy I’ve been the last week or so, I guess it might not be a horrible idea to try to…I don’t know…be a little nice, I guess.
So I’m going to try this very unfamiliar gesture using a fairly familiar form – you guessed it, EPIC VERSE style. Simple, straightforward form, courtesy of Chen Stormstout’s people. Here goes…
Falsely accused, true:
Not your fault for a change — still,
Fuck you, Varian.
Yeah, I know it kind of took a left turn at the end. I tried. I mean we’re talking about fucking Varian here.
I am become death
If you’ve been paying attention lately, you might have noticed I’ve been having a lot of contact with some of our people down in Brackenwall Village – Krog about the goings-on in Stonetalon, Draz’Zilb about his potential uber-corruption spell. It hasn’t been a coincidence.
No surprise to anyone that I’ve been on a pretty steady boil ever since I realized that Varian and Jaina were in the guild and must have heard me talking about where I was going with my mother last week. I don’t know why I should be shocked by anything these humans do at this point. Thing is, though, Varian I can at least see. I mean, make no mistake, I hate that motherfucker, but at least it makes sense for him to have it in for me as well, and he’s not one to make any pretenses about it. We’ve had bad blood going back to the Violet Citadel, probably further, not to mention he’s a hateful dimwitted warmongering orc-hating bigot, so of course he would grab any opportunity to strike at me. And if an innocent has to die in the process, all the better. It’s Varian. I get it.
But Jaina? THAT sticks in my craw. Let’s even set aside all the joking around and clowning I do on her and all the cracks about her being a slut which granted they’re totally true but not really germane to the conversation right now. But this is the woman who tried to play herself off as Little Miss Peacemaker. Always playing the diplomat, coming off like she’s the level-headed human willing to yank Varian back when he’s being an asshole (which, admittedly, probably kept her pretty busy). Always hiding behind her incomprehensible friendship with Thrall, like that made her better and nobler than the rest of her kind. Like she just wants to be our friend too.
And she was a part of this. Even if she wasn’t taking action herself, she knew. She was there. And all the while she probably kept on wearing her “Oh dear me, why can’t we all work together?” fake smile.
So guess what our first target is going to be.
I’ve been meeting with General Nazgrim to work out the logistics for our first strike on Theramore. We’re planning two waves. The first will be a ground strike launched out of Brackenwall, hitting the main gate of the city with several infantry detachments with artillery support. That initial wave will serve two purposes: one, to break down the city’s outer defenses and allow our troops to make their way inside, and two, to keep Theramore’s defenses focused on the main gate, while the second wave comes in by sea and hits the harbor.
The second wave will be the key one, and deceptively small. We’ll be bringing quite a few ships, but very few troops aside from the actual crews necessary to navigate the vessels. The real purpose of the naval strike will be to hit the harbor, land, and get a single squadron to deliver the real centerpiece of the attack: Draz’Zilb, bearer of the new experimental chain corruption spell.
Remember how I mentioned Draz’Zilb’s spell sounded promising, but needed to be tested until controlled conditions? Well Theramore is going to be our field test. Our troops are going to get Draz’Zilb into the city long enough for him to find a decent-size cluster of humans, cast the spell, and then get back to the harbor while the chain reaction begins. Once the spell is deployed, our incursion group will fire off a signal to let all our troops know it’s underway. At that point, EVERYONE will head to the ships – the ground troops near the front gate can be making their way around the outer walls toward the shore – and then get out of there by sea. Hence bringing so many ships when we didn’t have that many troops in the naval group.
It works out perfectly, really. Theramore makes the ideal test target: a solitary human colony, densely populated but easy enough to isolate. As much as Dustwallow Marsh is swarming with life, it’s mostly spiders, crocolisks…nothing that isn’t expendable. Black dragonkin, the last leftovers of Onyxia’s brood? Good riddance. Yeah, a couple Grimtotem settlements, but do you think I’m going to shed any tears over them? The whole marsh is separated from the rest of Kalimdor by mountains and sea, perfectly enclosed. No spreading of the chain corruption beyond that one zone, however it plays out.
I love when things work out neatly like that.
Nazgrim and I are getting the last details sorted out. I even got a couple of the goblins from the Gob Squad to come in and put together a scale model of Theramore and its environs for us here in the war room, to help plan out troop and ship placement.
The only small wrinkle is the ogres in Brackenwall, seeing as we don’t want to end up wiping them all out with the corruption. Would be kind of rude, what with it being Draz’Zilb’s spell and all. So I’m having most of the ogre population – the ones who won’t be going on the actual attack – relocated temporarily to Alcaz Island. They’ll be safely isolated there until everything blows over, plus we can even use the island as a staging ground for the naval strike.
Preparations are already underway. I’ve had the ogres moving in small numbers for the last couple of days, so we can do it gradually enough not to draw attention. A couple more days and they should be safely situated on the island, and then we’ll be ready to start. And if things go according to plan, pretty soon Sylvanas’ plague will have some competition over on the other continent.
[Header image provided by Rioriel from Postcards From Azeroth, reproduced here with permission and many thanks. Click here to see the souped-up Postcard version!]
Lifetime piling up
I killed her. Me and my big mouth.
Not literally. But I might as well have. t was enough that she died because I left myself vulnerable when Grebo attacked. But Grebo just BEING there was my fault.
I had to go yammering on in guild chat about where I was going with her. Not even thinking about who might be there listening in. How many times do I have to run into people pretending to be something they’re not on the internet before I get it through my thick skull? And so, there they were, Varian Wrynn and Jaina Proudmoore, right there in my own guild, soaking it all in. I might as well have sent them fucking invitations and enclosed a poisoned blade. And lo and behold, a pack of humans turn up out of nowhere.
It’s the only thing that makes sense. That’s the only time I talked to anyone about where we were going, other than my mother herself and a few of the guards we passed leaving Orgrimmar and traveling through Ashenvale.
I know what you’re thinking – how to account for Grebo. He’s still an orc, right? So why would he be working with humans if that’s who’s behind this? And see, that’s where you’re just looking at the surface. Grebo WAS an orc. That thing that attacked me in Demon Fall Canyon? That was Grebo’s reanimated corpse. I’ve been talking to Draz’Zilb out of Brackenwall Village – he’s no stranger to necromancy, and he tells me that when someone is resurrected, there’s a whole range of possibilities as far as how much of the actual person is still there. Maybe it’s the entire being come back whole. Maybe it’s an empty shell, walking around wearing the original person’s face. Maybe it’s any of a million points in between, any combination of memories, motivations, personality, will…anyway, he tells me it wouldn’t be much of a stretch at all to rig things so whoever you’re raising is going to be perfectly cooperative, whoever you happen to be.
No shock to anyone, I’ve been going over and over this in my head all day. I ended up needing to get out of my war room and get some air, so I took Mortimer for a ride around Durotar. I was planning just to fly around some and hopefully clear my head, but on one loop around we passed over Tiragarde Keep. And I happened to look down.
Humans.
So I landed. An hour later and I was still there. Not even rushing around, just taking my time, wandering through the keep, cutting down any humans I could find.
Usually we’ve been content to leave this human outpost alone – it doesn’t pose any real threat, and the humans there are weak even by human standards, and in a way they’re handy to have around as a training exercise for some of our up-and-comers out of Razor Hill. Send the young blood over, have them take out some easy human pickings, we keep the cockroach population under control and the kids feel like they’ve accomplished something. Everybody wins.
Not today. Today I’m in no mood to humor them. Today I’m done tolerating their presence, these pathetic vermin daring – PRESUMING – to claim a foothold in our lands. These two-legged rats from Theramore (THERAMORE), sitting here almost within eyeshot of Orgrimmar… I’m done with them. They’re like animals – every action I’ve ever known them to take shows it. WORSE than animals, even – at least a dog understands loyalty, and a wyvern has some instinctive sense of honor. Like animals, but less. So I slaughtered them like animals.
It was a good afternoon. While it lasted.
A long time ago I swore I’d make the humans regret the crimes they’ve committed against our people. Somehow I let those words become just that: words. Got lazy, grew complacent, contented myself with sitting around on a throne made out of the skull of an enemy I didn’t even kill myself and puffing out my chest like I’d done enough.
No more.
Legionnaire Nazgrim finally returned home to Orgrimmar last week after extended duty in Vashj’ir. I’m promoting him to General and putting him in charge of the initial stages of what comes next. I’ll be laying out our military plans in the next few days, but I don’t plan on wasting much time before we get to work. I’ve already wasted enough. It’s time I got to work doing what I should have done long ago.
Kill them all.
Where (almost) everybody knows your name
This is what I get for trying to take my mind off things.
You have logged on.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh nice
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I had to farm Regional Convention quite a few times, but it ended up working out.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] hi pwn
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Greetings, Warchief.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey boss
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] it looks really good
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] especially with that chest
[Guild][Lorthemar] Just so I understand, you mean you’re able to change your armor to look like other armor?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I still need to work on a briefcase off-hand. Right now I’m still rather mismatched.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Evening, Garrosh.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] how are you holding up?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yes its transmog
[Metzen] has logged on.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Eh
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’ll live
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey metzen
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Greetings, Metzen.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] How have you been?
[Guild][Lorthemar] So how does it work?
[Guild][Metzen] heya
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] are you sure you’re okay to be playing?
[Guild][Metzen] not bad
[Guild][Metzen] busy with work
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I mean I know you’re dealing with a lot right now
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, don’t feel like you have to log on because of the guild.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you have to go to a tailor
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Basically you need to acquire a piece of gear whose appearance you’d like to duplicate; then you pay a fee to alter the appearance of the gear you want to change.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah we can hold down the fort here
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m okay
[Guild][Metzen] oh crap, you’re not talking transmog, are you?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol yup
[Guild][Lorthemar] Is the fee in real money or game money?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ah, understood…what kind of work do you do? Not to be nosey, of course.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Metzen.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well not okay but I’ll manage
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] They have been for about an hour.
[Guild][Metzen] ugh
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] game money
[Guild][Metzen] no its ok
[Guild][Lorthemar] Ah.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Right now it’s either this or sit around doing nothing but stewing
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah I can see that
[Guild][Metzen] i guess you can say i’m a supervisor at my work, we do a lot of different things really
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So I figure I might as well log on and try to distract myself
[Guild][Metzen] a lot of the work is sort of confidential so i cant be too specific
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you don’t like transmog?
[Guild][Metzen] i dont mind it
[Guild][Metzen] if you want to waste your time on it thats your business
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] They haven’t built micro-transactions into the game for real money that way, Lorthemar.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Not yet
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] transmog is pretty much a cash sink they built in
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Give them time.
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, no kidding.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Understood, Metzen. I certainly don’t want to intrude.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh and belated greetings, Omgipwnedurface.
[Guild][Metzen] its fine
[Guild][Lorthemar] And hello, Metzen.
[Guild][Metzen] right now i’m mostly trying to sort out plans for sort of a reclamation project in hillsbrad
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] They will eventually, just you watch.
[Guild][Metzen] hey lorthemar
[Guild][Metzen] are you new?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Interesting.
[Guild][Lorthemar] No.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’ve done a fair bit of work there myself.
[Guild][Lorthemar] I’m pretty sure I joined the guild before you did, actually.
[Guild][Metzen] oh lol
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] anyway BQ that set of yours is coming along great, I still want to find a good uniform to transmog for myself
[Guild][Metzen] i guess you’re probably not on a lot
[Guild][Metzen] so i just havent seen you much
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If you think a sounding board would help, I’d be happy to help as best I can. Depending on how much you’re at liberty to say, of course.
[Guild][Lorthemar] I’m on every day.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Usually for several hours at a time.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You didn’t get something from your nurse class quests, Nightengayle?
[Guild][Metzen] oh
[Guild][Metzen] nice life, then
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] heh
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] haha
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I did, but those were all sort of the standard scrubs, I think I’d like to find one of those white one-piece ones
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I really do like him
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] um actually
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Spazzle, check your whispers a moment?
[Guild][Metzen] nah it should be fine livindead – just that we have some new workers there and their a little erratic
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh ok brb
[Guild][Metzen] just have to keep them on a short leash is all
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh *those*
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yeah
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I’ve seen a few of them around
[Guild][Metzen] i think proudleslie has one of those actually
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] They’re rare.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Why am I not surprised?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Don’t remind me
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Metzen, I’m very familiar with that problem. Perhaps if you could say a bit more about where in Hillsbrad you’re focusing your attention, I could help offer a few organizational suggestions.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] do you know where they come from
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Silvermoon
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] haha
[Guild][Lorthemar] What does that mean?
[Guild][Metzen] hmm maybe
[Guild][Metzen] sometimes its good to hear from someone who’s not involved with something
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] They’re a random drop in the Nevada sub-zone.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Exactly, Metzen.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh pooh
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You can find them on the AH sometimes, but they’re usually pretty expensive since they’re a pain to farm up.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But also fairly high in demand.
[Guild][Metzen] i seriously dont understand why people sink so much time and money into that kind of thing
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yeah that makes sense
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] still a pain
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Right there with you, Metzen
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I understand why you’d like to get one.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Admittedly, most of the female gear models look a bit conservative for my tastes as well.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Personally I would run instances in a pink dress if it gave me the best stats
[Guild][Metzen] lmao pwn
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Or hell, Outland-looking gear
[Guild][Lorthemar] I don’t see what’s wrong with the outfits they’re talking about, really.
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hang on, don’t get crazy.
[Guild][Metzen] no, stay with the pink dress
[Guild][Metzen] it suits you better
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] haha
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck you, Metzen
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] hah
[Guild][Metzen] hehe
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Wait a minute
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Did anyone else see that?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] see what?
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, wait, that was kind of peculiar.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck you, Metzen
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh weird
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …
[Guild][Metzen] yeah ok you made the joke once that’s enough haha
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, hold on
[Guild][Lorthemar] Um, what’s going on?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck you, Bartleby
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] wtf
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck you, Nightengayle
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey hold on, what did I do?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] double wtf!!
[Guild][Lorthemar] See, this is why I wonder about everyone here really being your friend…
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck you, Livindeadgrl
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Garrosh, seriously, what the hell?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] no no I know what he’s doing
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Garrosh.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck you, Lorthemar
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] What is he doing, then?
[Guild][Lorthemar] Well I never!
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] control group
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Garrosh.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay now
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck you, Mezten
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Warchief, please stop.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] what the hell is going on?
[Guild][Metzen] wtf dude it stopped being funny already
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Garrosh, please listen, we have an opportunity here if you just take a moment.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] really chief, you maybe want to listen to her
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] pwn I know you’re upset right now but it wont help you to push away your friends ok?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Warchief, please, you need to stop.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck you, Metzen
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ugh I tried
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OMG I KNOW WHO YOU ARE MOTHERFUCKER
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Could someone please explain what the hell is going on?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] -sigh-
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ??
[Guild][Metzen] the hell?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] it’s varian
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] …What?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OH DON’T FUCKING ACT LIKE YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHOSE GUILD YOU WERE WEASELING YOUR WAY INTO
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And there goes Gilneas…
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] metzen is varian
[Guild][Metzen] dude are you going to explain what the hell you’re screaming about or have you just gone off the deep end?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] FUCK YOU, VARIAN
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh shit…
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hang on tabbing out
[Guild][Metzen] …
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] !!!
[Guild][Lorthemar] Wait, seriously?
[Guild][Metzen] how the hell did you know that
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] THE PURPLE PROSE DOESN’T LIE, YOU SON OF A BITCH
[Guild][Metzen] hold on, what do you care that I’m varian wrynn?!
[Guild][Lorthemar] Good heavens, it’s true?!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] omg garrosh!!
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] For FUCK’S SAKE stop acting like you don’t know, human!
[Guild][Metzen] garrosh?!?!?!?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] LIVE AND IN PERSON, BITCH!
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well maybe not in person
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] BUT YOU GET THE IDEA
[Guild][Metzen] your an even bigger idiot than i thought
[Guild][Metzen] if you seriously think i would ever voluntarily join a guild
[Guild][Metzen] with you or any of you horde scum!!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] HEY
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] ok back
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh fuck have I got some bad news for you, asshole
[Guild][Lorthemar] I will have you know, sir, I am a proud leader of the Horde!
[Guild][Metzen] holy shit, you’re THAT lorthemar?!
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Where could you possibly have gone to in the middle of *this*?
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Wait, he is?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] what lorthemar?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] news to me
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] -sigh-
[Guild][Lorthemar] I am indeed, sir!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] well ok whatevers going on with lorthemar, I’m rocking the horde pride too!
[Guild][Metzen] THE FUCK
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh well, cat’s out of the bag now.
[Guild][Metzen] how many of you are there in this damned guild
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] garona halforcen here, don’t believe we’ve met
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At least one more, Varian. Lady Sylvanas Windrunner, at your service.
[Guild][Metzen] OMG GARONA
[Guild][Metzen] and sylvanas??
[Guild][Metzen] wtf!!!
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Dude, you fucking joined a guild called <Warchief>
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh hey varian
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Either you knew who you were hooking up with, or you really are cosmically stupid, seriously
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] last time I saw your dad he told me something for you
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] he’s kind of got you there
[Guild][Metzen] …
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ‘AAAAAAAAA!!!!!’
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] lmao
[Guild][Metzen] omg
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] haha
[Guild][Metzen] listen you filthy half-breed, you just wait
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] until what?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you type mean things at me?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] ^_^
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Okay, *that* was good.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah I’m thinking there’s not too much harm you can do by typing
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] thanks BQ
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] hahaha
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay so as fun as it is to give you an earful, Varian
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] and by the way, fuck you
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh and hey varian
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I think it’s time I show you the door
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] quick pro tip before you go – erase your internet history
[Guild][Metzen] ok listen orc scum
[Metzen] has been kicked from the guild.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] BAM
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] rofl
[Guild][Lorthemar] Huzzah!
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Okay, so that was pretty fun.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] so also
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hmm?
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] that was totally true what I was saying, about how there wasn’t much harm varian could do by typing
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] well yeah, sticks and stones
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] key detail being, not much harm HE could do by typing
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] ME, on the other hand…
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh man.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Ohhhh…
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] What did you do, Spazzle?
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I figured he was about to get kicked so I tabbed over before he had time to go offline, and um
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hehe
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] kind of backloaded a virus onto his computer
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OMG hahaha!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] no way
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] so yeah
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] in about five minutes the virus is going to access his address book
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] and e-mail a catalog of all the porn on his computer to everyone he knows
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] lmao
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] omg
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Dude that’s awesome
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] that
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] is
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] epic
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Spazzle, I think I love you. ^_^
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] 3P1C!!!
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, okay, I know it was awesome and all, Garona, but that’s no call for retard-speak
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol ok
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, so as much as I needed a good laugh today
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Time to get serious again
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] uh oh
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] What’s up?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, uh oh.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Do you two want to explain
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] how it is that apparently YOU knew that guy was Varian
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] and didn’t bother to tell me?
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh man.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Shit just got real.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] sorry boss
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That was my doing, Warchief.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Uh huh…I’m listening
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] “Metzen” had said a few things last week that made me suspicious, so I had Spazzle trace his IP address.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] He confirmed that Metzen was logging on from Stormwind.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] From there, it was simple enough…
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, so that covers the “how did you know” part
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m still waiting on the “why didn’t you fucking say something” part
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I didn’t intend to withhold the information from you indefinitely, Warchief.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah chief, we really were going to tell you
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I simply wanted to make absolutely sure by watching him a bit more in guild.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Also, I knew you would likely become upset when you learned Varian was in our guild…
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah go FIGURE that
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] and I thought I could find a way to make you aware without your kicking him out immediately.
[Guild][Lorthemar] It got quiet all of a sudden.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Have to admit, you do have kind of a temper, boss…
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, so first of all
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Are there any MORE juicy little secrets I should know about?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] well…
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OUT WITH IT
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] that usually means the officers are talking
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] well I also ran a trace on proudleslie
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh that’s right, they joined together
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Don’t tell me she’s Alliance too
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] She is indeed.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] um yeah
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I traced her ip to theramore
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Theramore
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OMG
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Ohhhh wait, this is making a lot more sense now.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Is Proudleslie Manageurdeath?!
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh? About what?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Holy shit did that fucker actually roll an alt just to sneak into my guild?!
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Um…who is this you’re talking about?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] no no not him
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] garrosh’s old gm
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah so on top of everything, is he one of those dudes who run around with a girl toon? Because that’s kind of iffy if you ask me
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] probably you
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] No.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] no
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] No.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] not him, chief
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Theramore, Warchief.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Who else do you know from Theramore?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Someone who would be playing the game with Varian.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh…
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OH
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh for fuck’s sake, THAT slut?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yup
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well to be fair, she…never mind. Yes, Warchief.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Great. Just great
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I do wish you hadn’t kicked him out so quickly, though, Warchief.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Why?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Why would we possibly want to have him sitting here in our midst?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If we could have kept him without letting on that we knew his identity, I believe we could have plied valuable information from him about Alliance operations.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] she was already working on it
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] I have to admit, it could have been a good way to get some inside information.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No, you’re not getting it
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You’re not getting it at all
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] not getting what?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] There was already too much inside information being passed around in this guild.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Warchief?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I need to go
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I need to go now.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Warchief, what is it?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I’ve got a bad feeling about this
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] For goodness’ sake, can you stop quoting machinima for two minutes?
You have logged off.
Chat log’d
I’ve been sinking a lot of time into Earth Online this week, so I figured I’d toss up another one of these logs from <Warchief> guild chat. We’ve been getting some new members joining, so that’s good, although now that it’s not just a bunch of people I know in real life, I’m having to be a little more careful about RL info. You know how it is. Actually, you probably don’t, seeing as most of you aren’t famous and important and shit like I am. Anyway, point being, I figure it will save us all some headaches in-game if everyone doesn’t know I’m Garrosh, or Sylvanas is Sylvanas, or…well, we’re the only ones who really matter, honestly. But you get the point.
You have logged on.
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Dammit!
[Guild][Metzen] UGH
[Guild][Proudleslie] well at least we were closer that time
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey chief
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey
[Guild][Metzen] did you get all the interrupts there?
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, I did.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] greetings sir
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey Gil
[Guild][Metzen] are you sure? it looked like he got one off at the end right when livin & i died
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] No, I got all of them.
[Guild][Metzen] it’s not showing up in the logs
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Let’s just finish running back, and we can argue about it later.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What are you guys running?
[Guild][Proudleslie] heroic cc
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] ComicCon heroic
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Last boss
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Ah, okay, the comic dealer guy is kind of tough
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] So we’re finding.
[Guild][Metzen] yeah
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] All right, let’s get healed up and rebuffed.
[Nightengayle | Garona] has logged on.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey gayle
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] hello nighten
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ugh thank goodness
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What’s wrong?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] It’s you guys and the new people in there, right?
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I got hacked
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh damn
[Guild][Metzen] oh yikes that sucks
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] not me
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Me, Mokvar, Metzen, and Proudleslie, yes.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Right, I didn’t mean you, Spaz
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] did you lose anything, gayle?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] don’t think so
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] looks like they restored everything
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] How are they doing?
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Not bad.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] but I don’t think whoever hacked me was trying to steal stuff
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] why?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Fairly well, I’d say.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] well my toon is stuck out here in the middle of nowhere
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] egypt I think
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] weird
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Metzen’s a little pull-happy, seems like he just can’t stand to wait a couple seconds to start a new fight.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] The paramedic isn’t playing *badly*, although she seems to have kind of a low active time.
[Guild][Metzen] yeah that is odd
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] and if they just wanted to steal my stuff you would figure they’d have me parked by a post office
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hmm yeah
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m not sure if she’s just learning a new rotation or distracted or what.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] do you want me to do a little looking for you?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] sure
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] But they’re staying out of the bad and stuff like that?
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] As far as I can tell, yeah.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] kk I’m going to e-mail you with a couple pieces of info I’ll need you to look up for me, then I can poke around a little
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok
[Guild][Metzen] oh damn, badcrumble’s like some master computer guy huh?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Dude, you have no idea
[Guild][Metzen] maybe he’s the one that hacked her haha
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Okay, let’s try this again.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Nah, he wouldn’t do that
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Plus he would be too busy reading comic books or something
[Guild][Metzen] haha nerd
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] …
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Heh… Yeah maybe, but he’s our nerd
[Guild][Metzen] lol
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Metzen, attention over here now please.
[Guild][Metzen] ok
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Let me know how it goes this time through
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I know that fight can be a pain in the ass
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Good luck
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Thanks.
[Dranosh | Utvoch] has logged on.
[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] hey guys
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] um…
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] wtf
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] …
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Dude
[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] ?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What the hell is up with your name?
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] damn your an idiot
[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] oh yeah i did a paid name change
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, I get that
[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] figured i might as well get rid of the generic name and get a real one
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Right, and that’s fine
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] that’s not the point
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] But THAT name?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yeah
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] NOT COOL, dude
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] totally not cool
[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] um ok?
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] /headdesk
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] sigh
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] NO
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] It is NOT “ok”
[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] what’s wrong with this name?
[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] it means heart of draenor in orcish
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] EVERYBODY KNOWS WHAT IT FUCKING MEANS
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] do you not know whose name that is?
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] really really not cool
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] that’s really disrespectful
[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] do you like know someone with this name?
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] head
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] desk
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Um, YEAH
[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] you think he would mind or something?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And he was killed by the Lich King
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] he died
[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] OH
[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] crap
[Guild][Proudleslie] damnit
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] BAH
[Guild][Metzen] fuckkkk
[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] ok ok i’ll go change it back
[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] be back later
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] still no luck?
[Dranosh | Utvoch] has logged off.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well they’re not talking to…never mind
[Guild][Proudleslie] no
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What’s killing you?
[Guild][Metzen] hey was that guys toon named after saurfangs kid?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah
[Guild][Metzen] that’s totally not cool
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] INORITE?
[Guild][Metzen] lights sake
[Guild][Metzen] I dont know what the hell is wrong with some people
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m not sure. It’s the same as last time; we seemed to be doing fine, and then the whole attempt fell apart.
[Guild][Metzen] i have a son myself, and if something happened to him i would be PISSED if someone went around using his name
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, I can imagine, Metzen
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Not cool at all
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, the boss just started one-shotting everyone.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I think it’s some kind of enrage.
[Guild][Proudleslie] its really frustrating
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Anyway
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You’re using the superhero buffs, right?
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Yes.
[Guild][Proudleslie] if you want to swap me out for a better healer I’ll understand
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] I’m getting the utility belt, LivinDead is getting the golden lasso
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I don’t think it’s a healing issue, Leslie.
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Metzen’s getting the green power ring
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] who has the web shooters?
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Wrong faction.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s one of the other faction’s buffs.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol in my other guild we do the marvel ones
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, so you’ve got the buffs covered
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You know what to do when he casts Zero Hour, right?
[Guild][Metzen] run out
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Get away from him till he finishes channeling, yeah.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well yeah, run out
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh wait a minute
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Are we missing something?
[Guild][Proudleslie] mmmm yea you like when I do that?
[Guild][Proudleslie] oops sorry mistell!
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wut
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] um
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OKAY MOVING ON
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I suppose that might account for her low active time…
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Just watch, she’s a human…
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So yeah, you have to get out when he’s casting, but then you’ve got to get back to where you started the fight and retrace your steps
[Guild][Metzen] huh
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ah, I think I’ve heard of this mechanic.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] It’s kind of a dance
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I just didn’t realize it was this fight.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, basically the game remembers all your movements for each cycle
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Any time you make a mistake retracing your steps, you get this stacking debuff called Retcon
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So every time the comic dealer does the Zero Hour reset, you have to get back to where you started
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] If your Retcon debuff stacks too high, his Nerdrage timer goes off and yeah, pretty much wipes the group right off
[Guild][Metzen] ahhh
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] This makes a lot more sense now.
[Guild][Proudleslie] it doesnt seem too hard
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Must…resist…easy…joke
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] haha
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] -sigh- Men.
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Okay, rebuff and let’s get this done.
[Guild][Metzen] kk
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey gayle, still there?
[Lorthemar] has logged on.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yes
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] so I did a little tracing on the logins for your account
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] you’re not going to believe this
[Guild][Lorthemar] Greetings, all!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] what?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] hi lorthemar
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] hey whos the new guy?
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] well I think I’ve tracked down who the hacker was
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] It wasn’t Sylvanas, was it? Please tell me it wasn’t Sylvanas
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] actually since he brought it up, who IS the new guy?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Friend of Sylvanas
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] …
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] who?
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] the new guy, lorthemar
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] no not that who
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] the hacker who
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] the hacker who what?
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] check this out
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The hacker who HACKS YOUR SKULL INTO LITTLE TINY BITS if you don’t SHUT UP
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I’m pretty sure your account was hacked by brann bronzebeard
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] sorry sir
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] omg
[Guild][Lorthemar] Brann Bronzebeard, the explorer?
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wow thats fucked up
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No, Brann Bronzebeard the district attorney. OF COURSE the explorer
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah, I double and triple checked on this
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh wow.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] the suspicious logins were all coming in through a wireless network very few people use
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] since when is brann bronzebeard a hacker?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh, man, that dude could NEVER resist poking around places he doesn’t belong
[Metzen] has earned the achievement [Heroic: Comic Con]!
[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] has earned the achievement [Heroic: Comic Con]!
[Bartleby | Mokvar] has earned the achievement [Heroic: Comic Con]!
[Proudleslie] has earned the achievement [Heroic: Comic Con]!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] grats!
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] grats
[Guild][Lorthemar] Congratulations, all!
[Guild][Metzen] whew
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Well that was much easier.
[Guild][Proudleslie] woot!
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] And of course…he drops teacher gear.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh dammit!
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] lol
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] anyway gayle, I’ll send you what I found in case you want to contact support about it
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] The itemization is far from ideal, but I might take it to play around with for off-sepc.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok thanks
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Sure, all yours.
[Guild][Metzen] its just a pawn shop voucher to the rest of us
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Anyway, though, grats guys
[Guild][Proudleslie] ty pwn! =)
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Thanks.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] See, all you needed was the intervention of my SUPREME BRILLIANCE
[Guild][Metzen] oh good, now he’s going to be even more full of himself
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] lol
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh you have no idea
[Guild][Metzen] hey speaking of which
[Guild][Metzen] how many guild leaders does it take to change a light bulb?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh boy, here we go
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] haha
[Guild][Lorthemar] How many?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Thanks for the help, though, Garrosh, really.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No biggie
[Guild][Metzen] just one – he holds it still, and the whole world revolves around him
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] haha
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] lol
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Fuck you, Metzen
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i dont get it
[Guild][Metzen] lmao
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Haha
[Guild][Metzen] just kidding – I’m kind of in charge at my job irl so I know what a pain it can be
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, it’s cool
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I mean, joking around is cool
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Being in charge of stuff not so much sometimes
[Guild][Metzen] yeah but then, who knows what idiot would be making a mess of everything otherwise
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Hmm.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I like this guy.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, he seems pretty good.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hmm what?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh nothing.
[Guild][Metzen] anyway i should probably get going
[Guild][Metzen] need to go pick my son up at the priest trainers
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Just a passing thought.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Huh.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] k metzen
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] cya
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] What?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Later man
[SteveKravitz | Utvoch] has logged on.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Why are you being all cryptic all of a sudden
[Guild][Lorthemar] Farewell!
[Metzen] has logged off.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Never mind, don’t mind me.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Probably nothing.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] brb
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no I’m just logging on now
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] hey man
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] um…yeah you are
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] why the ‘no’?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] someone said farewell when i came on
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Have you people seriously not figured out not to ask him to explain when he says something fucked up?
[Guild][Lorthemar] That was me, but I wasn’t talking to you.
[Guild][Lorthemar] That was for Metzen.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh ok
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh hey are you new?
[Guild][Lorthemar] Um…not really.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] huh ok
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] so anyway i changed my name back
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] obviously
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] so yeah that was some wasted gold
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] probably for the best, though
[Guild][Proudleslie] mmmmmm yea shoot it all over me
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yeah i guess
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] omg
[Guild][Proudleslie] omg so so so sorry mistell!!
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] …
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] lol wut
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] HEY HEY HEY HEY
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] TAKE THAT SHIT TO SECOND AZEROTH IF THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO DO
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] what did i miss
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Wow…just…wow.
[Guild][Proudleslie] soooooo sorry!!!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you want us to answer that chronologically or in order of magnitude?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The fuck is wrong with people, seriously
[Proudleslie] has logged off.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] Welcome to the internet…
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay so on THAT note
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no seriously what did i miss
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I should get going in a minute. I need to help my mom with something
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] ok boss
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ya i was just helping ur mom with something
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, because
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] um…
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hold it
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] …
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh no
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hang on a minute
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok so even i know that was kind of dumb
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So I realize that “ha ha I fucked your mom ha ha” jokes are like the bread and butter of chat line retards all over the internet
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] is it weird that I’m not even in the same room as him and I’m seriously looking for something to hide behind?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] But usually when you say that shit, you’re not saying it to, you know, somebody who KNOWS WHERE YOU FUCKING LIVE
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Right there with ya, Spaz.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] and can GET THERE in like TEN MINUTES
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] lol
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] sorry sir
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wont happen again
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah you better believe it won’t, fuckwit
[Guild][Lorthemar] Please don’t take offense, but are you all sure you’re really friends?
[Guild][Lorthemar] Because, well…
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No, not at all
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Welcome to the guild, by the way. Not sure if we’ve properly met
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i think he just joined
[Guild][Lorthemar] Um…
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] ANYWAY, as I was saying
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] My mom’s been saying she’d like to go to Grom’s monument in Ashenvale
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And I’ve got a bunch of stuff I need to get done here the next couple days
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, that makes sense if she hasn’t been there.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] But I’m going to try to clear things out so we can take a trip over there during the weekend
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So I should probably go take care of some of that
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] kk boss, see you later
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] back
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] cya
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] l8r sir
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] sorry again
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] bye sir
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Later people
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And Dontrag
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yes sir
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Sleep lightly
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] haha
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] pwned lol
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Take it easy, chief.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Spazzle, did you say you can track IP addresses from logins?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yup
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’d like you to check something for me if you don’t mind.
You have logged off.
