Tag Archives: garona
West Azeroth Story, Act 2
The curtain rises to reveal Grommash Hold, where Garrosh is conferring with Eitrigg and Malkorok.
EITRIGG: I still do not like this plan, Warchief. Thrall would never—
MALKOROK: Thrall is not here, old man.
EITRIGG: No…indeed he is not.
GARROSH: This battle will secure the supremacy of the Horde on this continent, Eitrigg, and do it without any loss of men or material.
EITRIGG: If you succeed, Warchief. If you do not—
GARROSH: Do you doubt that I can defeat that human, Eitrigg?
MALKORK: Rest assured, old man, the Warchief will prevail. And even if the impossible happens…well, suffice to say: We are the Horde. Even when we lose, we win.
EITRIGG: What is that supposed to—?
Garona runs in.
GARONA: Warchief! I’ve just returned from Blackrock Mountain!
MALKOROK: What were you doing there, rogue?
GARROSH: I sent her, Malkorok.
GARONA: I investigated, just as you asked, Garrosh.
MALKOROK: What could you possibly have to investigate in that place?
GARROSH: Mokvar.
MALKOROK: That scribe?
EITRIGG: What would Mokvar be doing in Blackrock Mountain?
GARROSH: Good question. What WAS he doing there, Garona?
GARONA: Meeting the human woman, Warchief.
GARROSH: <grumbles> I was afraid of that. What did you find out?
GARONA: I wasn’t able to hear much. Something about someone being untouchable…and assassins…
GARROSH: Assassins?
GARONA: I could make out Mokvar saying they would both be in trouble if anyone found out about them…
MALKORK: The bastard spoke true there.
GARONA: And I think they’re planning to meet again.
GARROSH: Oh good, another rendezvous for the lovebirds…
MALKOROK: More like conspirators, Warchief. Traitors!
EITRIGG: But traitors to whom, if they’re afraid of angering both Horde and Alliance?
MALKOROK: That insipid notetaker was already a traitor the moment he set his gaze on that pink-skinned harlot!
GARONA: He certainly seemed concerned about her welfare.
MALKOROK: He should worry more about his own.
EITRIGG: I would remind you, we still don’t really know what Mokvar is doing.
GARROSH: We know enough to put me in a rotten mood. It would have been bad enough if he were merely having some…revolting affair with this human. But the thought that they might be up to something more than that makes my head spin.
{I FEEL CRANKY}
GARROSH:
I feel cranky,
And quite frankly,
Hanky-panky is rankly dismissed.
And I’ll thank ye
Not to get me any further pissed.I feel surly,
My head’s swirly,
Not too early for a burly street brawl.
And quite surely
Tonight Varian is going to fall.See this angry orc in the war room here?
Wonder how he got so enraged.
Such a cranky mood,
Such a cranky face—GARONA:
Such a—
GARROSH:
Shut up, you,
I won’t be upstaged!I feel vengeful
And vindictive
My revenge will be strict; give this vibe:
I’m betrayed
By a frankly traitorous scribe!EITRIGG:
Will you reconsider this, Warchief?
We do not know nearly enough.
You’ll just set yourself up for more grief;
For all we know, Mokvar’s just affecting a bluff.You think he’s allured?
You think you’re betrayed?
How can we be sure
What game he has played?I plead with you, sir –
You’re so full of wrath.
You once relieved Krom’gar;
Don’t follow his path.MALKOROK:
Keep silent, old man,
Lest you suffer!
That scribe has done
More than enough, sir.Deceitful and vain,
Disloyal as well;
His open disdain
He’s proven full well!GARROSH:
I feel vicious,
And malicious.
This seditious orc surely will pay.
And my wish is
I could get my hands on him today.GARONA:
La la la la…
GARROSH:
I feel spiteful.
I feel hostile.
But tonight we’ll accost all our foes.
While you flank me,
I’ll give Varian one on the nose.GARONA:
La la la la…
GARROSH:
See this angry orc in the war room here?
MALKOROK:
Yes, sir, rightly so!
GARROSH:
You know how he got so pissed off.
EITRIGG:
Sir, I still say—
GARROSH:
Such a cranky mood,
Such a cranky face—EITRIGG:
Please, sir, think again—
GARROSH:
Don’t make me scoff!
MALKOROK: Hah!
GARROSH:
Now I’ll partake,
Feel my rage burn;
Soon Mokvar’ll take a turn for the worst.
But tonight
The Alliance is getting theirs first.MALKOROK: Hah! Music to my ears indeed, sir! Tonight the Alliance finally pays for their insolence, and then we can deal with that insipid, traitorous scribe!
GARROSH: Come along, Malkorok, let’s gather the others and begin the march to the Barrens.
MALKOROK: Of course, Warchief.
GARROSH: Eitrigg, watch over Orgrimmar in our absence. We’ll return soon enough for the first of many victory celebrations.
Garrosh and Malkorok exit.
EITRIGG: <watching them go> I do not know if it was a curse or a blessing that Grom did not live to know his son…
GARONA: The Alliance would be only too happy to wipe us out as well, Eitrigg. Don’t forget how many times Varian has called us monsters.
EITRIGG: And I do not object to defending ourselves against him. But I would prefer not to do so by proving him right.
Mokvar enters.
Mokvar!
GARONA: You!
MOKVAR: Eitrigg, I need to—
Mokvar slumps over as Garona darts around and saps him from behind.
EITRIGG: Garona, what are you doing?!
GARONA: Incapacitating the traitor before he has a chance to—
EITRIGG: To what? Write us a mean letter?
GARONA: Garrosh would have wanted us to—
EITRIGG: Garrosh isn’t here. And we have long since gotten out of the habit of honoring the wishes of our Warchiefs in their absence.
Eitrigg eyes Mokvar carefully.
I would like to hear what he has to say for himself.
A dim spotlight, stage left, illuminates Garrosh and Malkorok marching through Orgrimmar gathering Liadrin, Faranell, Dontrag, Utvoch, and other assorted Horde mainstays.
A moment after the Horde activities come into view, a second dim spotlight, stage right, illuminates Deliana talking in pantomime with Jaina Proudmoore in a Theramore tower. An additional spotlight below them shows Varian making his way among Alliance troops, gathering some – Falstad Wildhammer, Mathias Shaw, Shandris Feathermoon – to join him, while directing others – Horran Redmane, Marcus Jonathan, Tarlen Aubrey – to posts within Theramore.
At center stage, Mokvar regains consciousness and looks around, briefly disoriented.
MOKVAR: I would ask what that was for, but I think I already know that the answer would be.
GARONA: Shouldn’t you be in Blackrock Spire with your lady friend?
MOKVAR: So I’m guessing Deliana and I weren’t the only ones in Blackrock.
GARONA: Sorry if I was spoiling your privacy.
EITRIGG: Garona, enough.
GARONA: Ugh, fine.
MOKVAR: Has Garrosh heard?
EITRIGG: Indeed. You’re fortunate he’s already left for the Barrens…
MOKVAR: So, how pissed is he, on a scale of one to…well…one to Garrosh…?
GARONA: Right now I’d say he’s hovering around Garrosh squared.
MOKVAR: Crap.
GARONA: Seriously. He did a whole musical number about it.
EITRIGG: It likely doesn’t help matters that he has that blasted Malkorok fanning the flames for him.
MOKVAR: Yeah, that’s part of the problem – why I was going to see Deliana in the first place. Well, mostly.
EITRIGG: Mokvar, who is this woman?
MOKVAR: An old friend, from years before I came to Orgrimmar. She and I were in a mercenary company called the Veiled Blade. Years ago, we were hired for a mission in Blackrock Spire. We fought one of Nefarian’s lieutenants there, a drakonid called Lord Valthalak. We killed him…mostly…but after we made off with our loot, his spirit sent spectral assassins after us. That’s when Deliana and I went into hiding – me in Orgrimmar, her in Ironforge.
EITRIGG: And the rest of your group?
MOKVAR: Dead. Mostly, anyway.
EITRIGG: What business do you have with her now? And why all the secrecy?
MOKVAR: Other than her being a human and us being at war?
EITRIGG: I’m not unfamiliar with unlikely friendships.
MOKVAR: I’d thought we’d laid this Valthalak business to rest years ago, but now it looks like those spectral assassins are on the move again. We have no idea why, but we’ve been trying to find out.
EITRIGG: I wish you’d come to us with this first, Mokvar. Garrosh has come to consider you a friend, but the news of you sneaking off to meet with this human…
MOKVAR: Yeah, I know…
EITRIGG: He’s grown belligerent enough of late, with precious few to counter the whispers of that Malkorok urging him headlong into foolish confrontations.
MOKVAR: And that’s the other part of this, Eitrigg.
EITRIGG: What is?
MOKVAR: Malkorok. We’ve met before. <long sigh> In Blackrock Spire.
EITRIGG: You what?
MOKVAR: He can’t be trusted, Eitrigg. I know he has Garrosh’s ear, and that…that’s a problem.
EITRIGG: Mokvar, by the spirits, why haven’t you said anything? Do you have any idea how many of us have prayed for some way to convince Garrosh not to listen to that monster?
MOKVAR: That’s…a long story.
EITRIGG: Right now I don’t think we have much time for it. Garrosh and the devil on his shoulder are on their way to the Barrens now… Mokvar, whatever is in your past, you’ve been nothing but an honorable man since I’ve known you. Answer me: How sure are you about Malkorok? That he’s not to be trusted?
MOKVAR: Rend trusted him all those years ago. And I can tell you for a certainty – he shouldn’t have.
EITRIGG: I was already worried about his role in this spirits-forsaken challenge…
GARONA: You think he has some secret agenda?
MOKVAR: I wouldn’t put it past him.
EITRIGG: Then someone has to intervene. Mokvar, you have to get down there. I know Garrosh won’t be happy to see you, but if he’s walking into something…
MOKVAR: I know.
GARONA: I’ll go with you. Maybe he’ll listen to me.
MOKVAR: Does he ever listen to you?
GARONA: Hey, at least he hasn’t declared his desire to brutally murder me in glorious song in the last fifteen minutes, how about you?
MOKVAR: Also, weren’t you the one ready to stunlock and kill me yourself just a few minutes ago?
GARONA: Yes. And if it turns out that you’re lying, I still can.
MOKVAR: Reassuring.
GARONA: Right now, I can either trust you or not. If I trust you, and I’m wrong, I’ll still be there to stop you and kill you – and don’t think I won’t. But if I ignore you now, and I’m wrong…
EITRIGG: We’re losing valuable time. Hurry, both of you…
MOKVAR: We will. Thanks, Eitrigg.
EITRIGG: You can thank me by not proving me a sentimental old fool for trusting my instincts on you. Go quickly now – lok’tar.
MOKVAR: Lok’tar.
GARONA: Ogar.
Mokvar and Garona exist and Eitrigg begins to pace the room as the lights dim and the curtain closes.
{TO BE CONTINUED IN ACT 3…}
Surprises from the land down under
So after the last few days, I decided I needed to relax and blow off a little steam, so I locked myself away upstairs for some gaming time, and…well…see for yourself.
You have logged on.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I’m just about to start on the outback now
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] did you get the bread crumb quest to alice springs?
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey, chief
[Guild][Lorthemar] Hail, Garrosh!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] hi garrosh
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey guys
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] what’s up, boss?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh and hi, lorthemar
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] are you new?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Eh, doing okay, I guess
[Guild][Lorthemar] Erm, no…
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Just need to destress a little
[Guild][Lorthemar] I’ve been in this guild for months.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Why do people keep asking me that?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh okay
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] anyway, garona, when you start questing in the outback, just watch out for the dingo packs
[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] has earned the achievement [Heroic: Sydney Opera House]!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] they’re bad news, huh?
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] grats!
[Guild][Lorthemar] Congratulations!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] grats BQ
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Thank you, all! ^_^
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And greetings, Warchief. My apologies for being a bit distracted. I was focused on an instance.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah gayle, they just turn up out of nowhere and swarm you
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh hey, that’s right, I forgot all about the expansion!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ugh great – well thanks for the warning
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] How are you guys liking Australia?
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] I take back all the jokes I made about it.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] the new zones are gorgeous!
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] they really did a nice job on it from what I’ve seen so far
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] BQ’s leaving us all in the dust, though
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] she’s level 60 already
[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged on.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh wow
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well, I needed something to occupy myself with while many of you were going about the much more important work of fighting for the glory of the Horde.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] hi prof
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Shining success that it was.
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey Edwin.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You could always put in a little time tracking down what happened to Koltira Deathweaver, you know
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh hey, there’s the doc
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] His whereabouts *are* indeed a mystery, I will grant.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] That’s good, I’d meant to check up on him after the dust settled
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hiya prof
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You know, make sure he was still there and okay
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Warchief? Why would Faranell not be okay? He’s been here in the Undercity the whole time, nowhere near the conflicts in the Barrens and Dustwallow.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Huh
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] hello all
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey doc, how goes?
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hmm
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, good point, Sylvanas…
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] have I mentioned how much I love this new aoe looting?
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] it goes.
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh man, yeah, that’s great.
[Guild][Lorthemar] That was indeed a superb addition.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh hell yeah, is that active finally?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yup
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, so I think it’s time for me to get out there and have a look
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Going into the new zone cinematic, so I’ll be quiet for a few
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] So Edwin, everything okay down in the Apothecarium?
[Guild][Lorthemar] Enjoy, Warchief. Let me know if I can be of any assistance.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] it’s fine.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Fairly quiet, since, as the good doctor will surely confirm, there’s little going on there other than routine defensive research.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] unless you count all the plague, yeah.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol
[Proudleslie] has logged on.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Your…droll sense of humor is amusing as always, doctor. A fine jest indeed.
[Guild][Proudleslie] oh man what a week i’ve had
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Um…
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] if you say so.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] hi leslie
[Guild][Lorthemar] Greetings!
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh no
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Isn’t that…?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah
[Guild][Proudleslie] hi everyone
[Guild][Proudleslie] it’ll be good to unwind here a little
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] This isn’t going to be pretty, is it?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] nope
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] have you had a chance to get started on australia yet, leslie?
[Guild][Proudleslie] just the first night
[Guild][Proudleslie] i pulled a late nighter and managed to get a couple levels
[Guild][Proudleslie] then i had a bunch of stuff blow up on me rl
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Sounds very hectic, Leslie…
[Guild][Proudleslie] and now i have this new job so
[Guild][Proudleslie] yea it really is
[Guild][Proudleslie] brb afk
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] hb
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh HO, look at this! I just found one of those rare koala pets!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] omg jealous!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] but yay!
[Guild][Lorthemar] It is a cute little thing. A bit odd looking, but…
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, so that’s done
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] wb
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] so you’re in sydney now?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah…have a bunch of quests to do
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] the one with the wombat is kind of tough
[Guild][Proudleslie] ok back
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, well here we go
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hang on
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] wb leslie
[Guild][Lorthemar] Welcome back, both of you!
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Um…
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh boy
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] here we go
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Uh, YEAH here we go
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So…just to make sure I’m not mixing this up with some alternate reality or something
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] is that who I think it is?
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah, it’s jaina
[Guild][Proudleslie] thanks gayle
[Guild][Proudleslie] thanks lorthemar
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Welcome back, Leslie. Good to see you again.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Question #2
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] WHY IS SHE STILL IN THE FUCKING GUILD
[Guild][Proudleslie] thanks livin
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I hope things have settled down for you a bit.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I don’t think anyone has seen her on since last time
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] and the whole thing with varian
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Warchief, if I may…
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, I guess nobody bothered to go back and gkick her while she was offline.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And also why the hell are you being all buddy buddy with her, Sylvanas?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] A suggestion, Garrosh?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s actually part of my suggestion.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What suggestion, to be friends with our enemies, especially the ones who completely torpedoed what should have been a decisive win for the Horde?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Because apparently, we’re running Heroic Bizarro World in real life now?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Warchief…
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Or are you throwing in with Baine and Vol’jin to commemorate Hey Everybody Let’s All Piss Off Garrosh Week?
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] That’s only a week?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Warchief, please hear me out.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh trust me, I’m all ears
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Consider for a moment: it’s precisely *because* Jaina has proven such a thorn in the Horde’s side that we should consider keeping her in the guild.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Because…?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I’ll get another virus queued up, just in case…
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Recall the old adage, Warchief: keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] By all appearances, Jaina does not realize who we are. I can’t imagine why Varian wouldn’t have told her, but then, considering Varian’s evident mental acuity, I suppose anything is possible.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] In any case, we have here among us a high-ranking member of the Alliance, who we know to have Varian’s ear, and will likely be privy to a great many of their plans, not to mention whichever ones she might be involved in personally.
[Guild][Proudleslie] huh its gotten all quiet
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If we can keep her around, we might be able to use it to our advantage, to ply inside information from her about our enemies’ movements.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’d tried to make this same suggestion to you a few months ago when we discovered Varian had joined the guild, but you kicked him before I could make my point.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But this time, Warchief, please, consider the possibilities here.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] I have to admit, it’s a pretty smart idea.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] they’re talking in officer chat
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m already working on befriending her. We don’t need to do anything other than allow her to stay around, while we watch for openings.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I understand that you’re angry about the recent setbacks, but think of the benefit we might gain from this, with hardly any risk of loss on our part.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Huh… Okay, you know what, that actually IS pretty smart
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So, yeah, okay, let her stick around
[Guild][Proudleslie] oh
[Guild][Proudleslie] about what?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’ll bite my tongue
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Thank you, Warchief. I promise you won’t regret this.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We’ll just have to make sure nobody slips up and gives away who’s actually in the guild
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] most people have been getting pretty good about rl stuff
[Guild][Lorthemar] Probably me.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, well, hopefully we’ll get something useful out of this
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Meanwhile, let me get back to leveling
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i should get going actually.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] see everyone soon.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] bye prof
[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged off.
[Guild][Proudleslie] bye profhubert
[Guild][Proudleslie] bah too slow
[Guild][Proudleslie] oh hey
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ?
[Guild][Proudleslie] since most of the officers are on, could i get a guild invite for my bf?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You’re not going to be cybering him in guild chat, are you?
[Guild][Proudleslie] omg
[Guild][Proudleslie] i’m so so so embarrassed about that
[Guild][Proudleslie] i’m so sorry, it wont happen again i promise
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Also, she has a boyfriend now? Since when?
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Beats me.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And who is it?
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] I don’t really keep up with celebrity gossip.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Working on it…
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, sure, Leslie, just as soon as I’m out of combat here
[Guild][Proudleslie] ok
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] it’s ok, leslie, i’ll get him, just whisper me the name?
[Guild][Proudleslie] ok! ty
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Hmm, well this is interesting…
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] What?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m trying not to press for too much information, obviously…
[HonaleePuff] has joined the guild.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Welcome!
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] One moment.
[Guild][Proudleslie] hi sweetie!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] welcome puff
[Guild][HonaleePuff] THANKS EVERYONE
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whoa don’t yell!
[Guild][HonaleePuff] WHAT?
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh good, he’s a caps-talker to boot.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] people still do that?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] the caps, it’s like you’re yelling
[Guild][Proudleslie] thats just his deep sexy booming voice heehee
[Guild][HonaleePuff] LOL
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Ugh, you weren’t kidding about this wombat thing
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The damn thing’s killed me twice now
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] see I told you
[Guild][Proudleslie] omg i hated that thing
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Did we ever find out who this guy is, by the way?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I have a strong suspicion based on what she’s told me…
[Guild][Lorthemar] Would you like a hand, sir?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] That would be great, thanks
[Guild][Lorthemar] Happy to be of help! Send me an invite?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Incoming
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And that would be…?
[Guild][Lorthemar] Got it! I’ll be there in just a moment.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m pretty sure that he’s Kalecgos.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whoa
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok everyone, I need to go for a while
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Wait, you mean the Aspect of Magic Kalecgos?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well, not anymore
[Guild][Lorthemar] Farewell!
[Guild][Proudleslie] bye gayle
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Well yeah, but he was.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] for like ten minutes
[Guild][HonaleePuff] BYE
[Garona | Nightengayle] has logged off.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So wait…how sure are you about this?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Quite sure, actually. Based on what she’s said, and a few bits and pieces I’ve picked up from my own sources.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Huh
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well, that settles it
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] what?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] She’s officially run out of mammals
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] haha
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] -Sigh-
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh yikes, yeah, I didn’t think of that. I didn’t know Jaina was a scaley…
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well you kind of had to figure nothing was off the table with her
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Ugh scalies creep me out.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh, like you wouldn’t do Alexstrasza if you had the chance
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Who could blame him, really? I wish I had her body.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] You kind of do. Like, exactly.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Thank you, Mokvar…I think.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Just don’t start going all Bragor on her now, Mokvar
[Guild][Lorthemar] Okay, here I am!
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hang on
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] -Shudder-
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Don’t remind me. I’ve been starting to wear parkas during his shifts…
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Uh, dude…
[Guild][Lorthemar] Yes? Is something wrong, sir?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What’s up with your toon?
[Guild][Lorthemar] What about it?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] It’s kind of a girl
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Don’t know if you’ve noticed
[Guild][Lorthemar] Um, yes, I know, sir… Is that a problem?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So…you play a female toon?
[Guild][Lorthemar] Yes…?
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] To be fair, he IS a blood elf. He pretty much plays a female toon in RL too…
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, dude, fine, whatever works for you
[Guild][Proudleslie] thats actually pretty smart
[Guild][Proudleslie] you would be AMAZED how willing guys are to help when you have a female avatar
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s actually quite true…
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, well whatever, let’s just kill this damn wombat
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Also to be fair, whose ass would YOU rather look at for 60 levels?
[Guild][Proudleslie] haha well if you’re asking ME…
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Too…many…jokes…
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Heh.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] -Sigh- again.
[Guild][Lorthemar] There we go!
[Guild][Lorthemar] See, pretty painless with the two of us.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Thanks, man
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] or…whatever
[Guild][Lorthemar] Any time, sir.
[Guild][HonaleePuff] OUCH
[Guild][Proudleslie] omg sweetie what killed you?
[Guild][HonaleePuff] SOME PACK OF DOGS
[Guild][HonaleePuff] THYE JUST FLATTENED ME
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] ohhhh the dingoes got you
[Guild][Proudleslie] omg dingoes ate my baby!
[Guild][Proudleslie] its ok i can rez you
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] So Leslie, I’m curious, how long have you and Puff been together?
[Guild][HonaleePuff] NOT VERY LONG REALLY
[Guild][Proudleslie] nope not long at all
[Guild][Proudleslie] we only got together this past week
[Guild][Proudleslie] but it feels like we’ve know each other for ages
[Guild][HonaleePuff] : )
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, well congratulations to you both, then. I hope you’ll be very happy.
[Guild][Proudleslie] ty
[Guild][Proudleslie] its just funny too, b/c just a couple weeks ago i was talking to my friend
[Guild][Proudleslie] and he just got married not too long ago
[Guild][Proudleslie] and he was telling me how life would be much better if i found someone to share it with
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Gee, I wonder who THAT could be
[Guild][Proudleslie] and a few days later here he was!
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s very sweet indeed.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And not at all contrived in its timing.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Also, seriously, Thrall’s spending his time now dropping by to tell Jaina she needs to get herself a man?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Or, I guess, to narrow it down to one and settle down?
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Watch, he’s become one of those people who get married and then feel like everybody else needs to get married too.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] You know, misery loves company.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] haha
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No no, I’ll tell you exactly what that is
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Thrall’s been dropping by to hang out with Jaina
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Only now, he’s got a wife pulling him aside when he gets home, like, “So hey, what exactly is the deal with the blonde chick you’re spending all this time with?”
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] “Who I was hearing things about, like, all the way out in Nagrand”
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] haha
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And so I’ll bet you anything, Thrall was like, “Okay, I have to get this chick hooked up so the missus gets off my ass”
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Heh, yeah, wife aggro.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And seriously
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] If he didn’t want wife aggro, I mean, come on
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] He fucking married a woman NAMED Aggro, pretty much
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] aggra aggro?
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hah
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Anyway
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I need to get going
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Have a meeting with Malkorok
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Have to run for a while, guys
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Have fun
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh joy…
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] later boss
[Guild][Proudleslie] bye pwn
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Take care, sir.
You have logged off.
Back to the Faire
The Darkmoon Faire is back this week…actually, they’re not “back” anywhere, they’re the same damn place they always are nowadays, on that freaky-ass island of theirs. So I don’t know why we make a big deal over it “coming back,” considering they could just as well leave the damn portals up all the time so people can just go there whenever. But I guess Silas Darkmoon must have some reason, maybe it’s a union thing, who knows.
Anyway, since things are a little quiet these days, I figured I might as well give myself a little R&R and swing by the Faire again. I went and got Gurtash from the orphanage and brought him with me, since he seemed to like the place the first time, and off we went.
Of course, within ten minutes of us arriving there, Gurtash had spotted some other kids and was off to the races. That left me to wander around on my own for a while. I was hoping that we’d be coming up on the time for the Deathmatch fight, but no such luck, it was still a ways off. So I made my way over to that gnoll fortune teller, Sayge, to see if I could get anything useful out of him. Last time I was here, I got some cryptic-ass fortune that didn’t make much sense even in a fortune-cookie kind of way, so I figured I’d take another shot and see what he’d have to say if I played along for another one of his moral quiz show things.
So okay, here we go with the questions he asked me. Feel free to play along at home:
You have been tasked by your liege to guard his fields of corn from poachers and thieves. One night on patrol, you stumble across a haggard man in thread-bare clothing stealing corn from the field. You quickly confront him, and he immediately begs for his life. He claims he is stealing the corn to feed his family since the lord of the land – your liege – demands too much in taxes. Your liege is indeed known for his harsh taxes throughout the land.
Make your choice.
- I slay the man on the spot as my liege would expect me to do, as he is nothing more than a thief and a liar.
- I turn over the man to my liege for punishment, as he had broken the law of the land and it is my sworn duty to enforce it.
- I confiscate the corn he has stolen, warn him that stealing is a path towards doom and destruction, but I let him go to return to his family.
- I allow the man to take enough corn to feed his family for a couple of days, encouraging him to leave the land.
Now personally, I’ve got no reservations about laying the smackdown on this guy, but I kinda got the feeling that this was one of those questions where they want you to show you’re kind and merciful and that kind of bullshit. So I figured, what the hell, let’s go with option #4. It’s really kind of the lamest option there, but whatever, Sayge is never going to know the difference, right?
Moving on:
You alone have defeated a terrible beast that has been ravaging the countryside, taking its ear as a trophy. You later learn that your liege had offered a reward for the beast’s death, and that a kind but destitute knight who you know is trying to support a family claims the beast’s kill as his own. You have no real need for the money yourself, but you know that the destitute knight is lying for his own personal gain.
Make your choice.
- I would show my liege the beast’s ear and claim the beast’s death as my own, taking the reward for my own use. It is wrong to claim a deed as your own that someone else in fact did.
- I would show my liege the beast’s ear and claim the beast’s death as my own – after all, I did slay it. I would then offer some of the reward to the destitute knight to help his family.
- I would remain silent about the kill and allow the knight to claim the reward to aid his family.
Okay, so being warm and fuzzy is all well and good, but no way am I going to let somebody else take credit for my kill. Luckily, this one gives you an option where you get to split the difference – take the credit you deserve, but also be charitable to the poor destitute fucker. Which is actually fine by me – in this situation, I’d be in it for the honor, not the money, and if this guy could use some help, fine. So, option #2 it is. Glory for me, some pocket change for him, everybody’s happy.
Once I’d answered the questions, Sayge gave me a written fortune: “What happened to the fortune that was supposed to be written here? Yep. Old Gods.” Ha ha, very funny, Sayge. Nice job having that ready to go, though. Didn’t know he read the blog.
Anyway, while I was rolling my eyes at the fortune, he cast some kind of spell on me. I’d heard he usually gives some kind of buff to people when they answer his questions, but I’m not sure exactly what it was he put on me. In fact, I’m kind of fuzzy about what happened for the next hour or so. I mean, I didn’t black out or anything – I remember walking around the faire some more, and running into Spazzle, who was going around with his cousin, and hanging out with them for a while, and then eventually Gurtash coming back. But I’m kind of hazy on the details, like when I try to think of what I talked about with Spazzle for instance, it just gets kind of foggy. Not sure what to make of that. Oh well.
Anyhow, like I said, Gurtash caught up with me after a while. Turns out that when he ran off, he was hanging out with a bunch of girls who were going around the fairgrounds together. Which, you know, atta boy. Kid IS thirteen, after all. As it happens, it looks like the kid’s taken a shine to this one draenei girl. Which…okay, maybe not the ideal choice, but I get it. I’d be lying if I said I never had a peek over to that side of the fence when I was his age. Plus, at least he’s not going for a human. Because that would just be gross.
A draenei, though…well, first of all, he’s still just a kid, so whatever. It’s not like anything’s going to come of it in the long run. And even if it did, and this was the start of some lifelong thing or whatever, it’s not like races have never mixed before. Hell, Garona is half orc and half draenei.
Um…wait a minute.
Okay, yeah, I’ve got to nip this thing in the bud. No good can come of this shit.
On our way back to Orgrimmar. I may or may not be assigning a guard to the kid. We’ll see.
Roundhouse cleave to the face
I’ve got a return trip to Hearthglen lined up for tomorrow, but between then and now I figured I’d put in a little game time. In this case, though, I got to unveil a little surprise to the rest of the guild…
[You have logged on.]
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh wow thats freaky
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah, that’s really weird
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh you’ve got no idea. This guy was a flake even by Mylune standards.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] hi garrosh
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] heya boss
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Sup, guys
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey, chief. I was just telling everyone about Tembw’bam out in ZG.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] hello sir
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I kind of wish I’d been there to see it, sounds like he was a real hoot
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You could say that, yeah…
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wait could he turn into an owl too?
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Not that kind of a hoot.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] theres different kinds?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] wow your an idiot
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I mean I think he sounds entertaining
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh
[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] has logged on.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] he sounds like kind of a moron if you ask me
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] are you talking about tembwbam or dontrag?
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey Sylvanas
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Does it really matter, as far as accuracy?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Hello, Spazzle.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] tembwbam
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Haha
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] no i’m dontrag
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Are you sure?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I thought you were Utvoch.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] no he’s utvoch
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i’m utvoch
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yah thats what i said
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] only i said he instead of i
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Hmm, I could swear you were Utvoch, Dontrag.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You really do enjoy messing with them, don’t you?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] huh are you sure
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] no she cant be sure if she’s wrong
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I hardly think I’m wrong.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] In fact, I’m quite sure you’re Utvoch, Dontrag.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] haha
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] huh so that would make me dontrag?
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] no your not dontrag utvoch
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Can you blame me, really?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i dont know, she seems pretty sure
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Look at them.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] she’s messing with you you moron
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol this is epic
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It’s like spinning a dog around hundreds of times, and then playing catch with it.
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] See what I mean? Plenty of moron to go around…
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol, ok point taken
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Not so. I’m pretty sure most dogs could outwit either of them.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] she is? oh damn
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So anyway… Yeah, the dude from ZG was a piece of work.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh so speaking of which, garrosh
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] how come you wanted a rogue for the trip to STV and you didn’t invite me?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh for fuck’s sake…
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] i know i’ve told you about how i like the beaches down there
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m sure you did
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] right, so?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Whether I was listening at the time is a whole other question
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] haha
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] ouch!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] omg
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] seriously though why would you take krog instead?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hang on, tabbing out
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh sure, tab out now
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ugh
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I wouldn’t worry about it too much, Garona.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m sure the Warchief had his reasons.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea well we’ll see
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Okay, so what’s the catch there going to be?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] There’s no catch.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m not *always* trolling, you know.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok so dontrag and i just went over this and we’re pretty sure he’s dontrag and i’m utvoch
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well I’m glad we’ve finally been able to put this mystery to rest.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, back
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i know, that was going to bother me till we figured it out
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I had to help someone get set up on the game
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] New player so I’ve been having to walk him through setting it up
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh cool, anyone we know?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Haha, yep
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Nice, who is it?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You’ll see in a minute
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] did you remember to use your refer-a-friend for them?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh hell yes
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I want my hang glider
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh ok
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, here we go
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] This is going to be epic
[ChuckNorris | Saurfang] has joined the guild.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] welcome Chuck
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] hi chuck
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So yeah, you guys might know ChuckNorris here better by his real life name, Varok Saurfang
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] whoa
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] holy shit!
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh HELL yes!
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Haha, yeah, I finally convinced him to give it a try for the freebie month
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Greetings, High Overlord!
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] welcome, sir!
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Saurfang, if you type /g it’ll set your chat line to type here in the guild chat
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] greetings overlord
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] is this working?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yup
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] reading you loud and clear, sir
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] ah, there we are. greetings and honor to you all, friends.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Welcome to the guild, Overlord.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] LivinDeadGrl here is Sylvanas, Saurfang
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] a pleasure to ‘see’ you, as it were, dark lady
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And you as well, Overlord.
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] no need here for such formality, dark lady. we are all soldiers of the horde and friends here; ‘varok’ will suffice.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Or Rokky
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Haha! Rokky it is!
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] no, most certainly not ‘rokky’
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yes, sir, Rokky struck from the record, check.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Anyway, Saurfang, let me do the quick introductions here, so you know who’s who
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We covered Sylvanas… Bartleby is Mokvar… MrBadcrumble is Spazzle Fizzletrinket, I think you met him a couple times…
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ahem
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Ugh, fine. Nightengayle is Garona…
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] a pleasure as always, Saurfang!
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And SteveKravitz and GilbertRose are Dontrag and Utvoch, in some order, nobody really remembers which
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i’m dontrag
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Also nobody really gives a shit
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] sorry our existence isn’t more relevant sir
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] a moment, i should note all this down.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’ll hook you up later with a mod that will let you add a note to people’s names in-game to help keep track of everyone
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] If you need help with anything while you’re getting the hang of the game, sir, don’t be reluctant to speak up
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah we can definitely help give you an armed escort wherever
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] many thanks to you all, friends. i suspect it will take some doing before I am adequately acclimated to the environment here
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Also, Sylvanas?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Yes, Warchief?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] If you start asking him about the warlocks or what Dranosh means again, I will end you
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I can’t imagine why you would think such a thing of me, Warchief…
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] so what class are you playing, saurfang?
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] i believe this is called a ‘texas ranger’
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh hey i bet sylvanas could show you a lot about that class
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] uh no
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] no
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i thought she was a ranger
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Not that kind of ranger
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] is she a different spec or something?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] spirits help me i wish i could stunlock people over the internet sometimes
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m a Dark Ranger. It’s not the same thing.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] so the ranger talent trees are dark, texas and what else?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Utvoch
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yes sir
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Stop talking before I come over there and chop you up into many many tiny little pieces
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yes sir
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] sorry sir
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate, I had really only come on to check on my auctions. I need to leave for a meeting for the moment.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] later, Sylvanas
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] bye BQ
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] farewell, dark lady. honor go with you.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Back soon! ^_^
[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] has logged off.
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] So I’m guessing you’re at the ranch starting zone, Saurfang?
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] it would appear so, yes
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] there appears to be a peculiarly liveried human here who, inexplicably, has an exclamation point hovering above his head.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] that means he has a quest for you
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Right-click on him and he’ll show you a write-up of what he wants you to do.
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] ah, interesting. a moment…
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’ll head over to the starter zone in a minute and give you a few dollars to get you going
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] did you get the quest, Saurfang?
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] a moment, i’m still reading.
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Ah, he must be reading all the quest text.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] People do that?
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Apparently.
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] indeed. i would hate to overlook some critical detail, as i’m sure this ‘rancher’ fellow’s monologue must include information that will hold some importance later on.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh wow, that’s so cute
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Well, he’s new. No harm in taking his time and soaking it all in.
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] it appears i am needed to acquire a hot iron and brand six of the cattle in the nearby pens.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] the branding iron should be kind of shining now, so you can spot it
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] i must say, this does not at the outset appear to be the sort of heroic undertaking i might have supposed a fantasy adventure would present.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The early quests are pretty simple, so you can get used to the game mechanics
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] To be fair, the quests never exactly get particularly complicated.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well yeah, but at least you get some bigger and badder stuff to fight.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Eventually as you level up, you get new zones opened up for you to quest in, too
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] There’s also an expansion coming up that’s going to add a whole new continent to the game
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] have they announced a release date yet for land down under?
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] I doubt he’ll be max level before Down Under comes out, though.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah, LDU’s coming out in like another month and a half
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] well then, that mission is completed, uninspiring though it was.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] he should have a follow-up for you now
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] indeed. a moment while i read.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] someday when he’s all hardcore and speeding through quests we’ll look back at this and laugh
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] haha
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Watch, in a week he’ll be better than all of us
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] He’s Saurfang, he probably already is.
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] hmm, so it would seem that the ranch’s livestock has taken losses recently due to itinerant vermin.
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] i am being called upon to hunt down some dozen of the coyotes lurking about and slay them.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] There you go, that should be more up your alley
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] i will grant that this mission sounds a bit more promising, although i’m at something of a loss as to why the rancher would specify twelve of the creatures.
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] if the vermin are proving problematic, would it not make more sense for me to stay at my task until they have been eliminated altogether?
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] respawn timer would make that a real pain
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] It’s probably best not to overthink these things.
[Nightengayle | Garona] has earned the achievement [Level 50]!
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] grats
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Grats, Garona!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] whew, finally
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] and thanks
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] now to start gearing
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] hmm, that coyote died rather easily.
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] I would imagine you’re used to that happening.
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] indeed.
[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang] now for the next animal. i appear to have an ability called ‘roundhouse kick’; let me see what it does on this one.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] go for it
[You have been disconnected.]
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[You have logged on.]
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] what was that??
[Bartleby | Mokvar] has logged on.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Damned if I know…
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] has logged on.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] did you guys just get knocked off too?
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] i swear that wasn’t me this time…
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, I did.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Same here
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hmm let me check something
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] that was so weird
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, I can’t remember that ever happening to me before
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Even when my internet cuts out, it doesn’t just boot me right away I like that, I end up just hanging for a couple minutes first
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh wow
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] it looks like the whole server got knocked offline for a minute
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh yikes
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] i wonder what caused it
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] You know, come to think of it…
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well, either way, Saurfang is probably all confused now
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Let me go see if I can track him down and get him situated again
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’ll be back in a few maybe…
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] later boss
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] bye garrosh
[You have logged off.]