Tag Archives: guilds
Welcome to [Warchief]
I’m back in Orgrimmar. After we wrapped up things in Garadar, I took sort of a leisurely trip by land to Shattrath with Lakkara. From there we took one of the portals to Orgrimmar. You should have seen the look on my mother’s face the first time she came up with me from the Cleft of Shadow and saw the Valley of Strength.
Since then I’ve been showing her around Orgrimmar and a little of Durotar. At first I figured I was going to take her on this whirlwind tour around Kalimdor and show her everything, but I forget ALL of this is TOTALLY new to her, so it’s probably better to take our time and give her a chance to take it all in. Even little things, like the fact that she hadn’t ever really seen trolls before. Or Forsaken, for that matter…although she was a lot less freaked out over seeing them walking around town than I figured she would be. I guess she just feels for anybody who’s had a rough time of it. Anyway, for the time being I have her set up with her own quarters here in Grommash Hold, upstairs.
While she’s been getting settled and resting, I’ve had a chance to hop back online and get some Earth Online time. The guild had gotten off to a slow start, since I ended up having a lot of distractions keeping me from the game, but I think we’re starting to get things together. Spazzle also set me up with this thing that lets me log our in-game guild chat, so I’m going to try using it here and give you guys a peek at what we’ve been up to. He even had some add-on that let me tag players in the game with their real names (or whatever names I want to label them with) so both names show up in the game chat. Makes it easier for me to keep things straight sometimes, but I figure it’ll make these logs a hell of a lot easier for you all to make sense of.
Anyway, here goes:
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So Spaz, how are things coming along on the guild web site?
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Don’t we already have a web site?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yes and no
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We have a site that we use, but it’s not totally ours
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] How’s that?
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] you know, it’s one of those prefab ones you can get at a host site.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] they’re fine and all, they give you the basics of what you need, but they don’t give you a whole lot of room to customize
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] or for that matter even really have direct control of the site
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] which is fine if you’re just wanting something to get started with, or if you just don’t have someone who knows web design
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Which obviously we do
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] this way I can custom build it, and have direct control over security, track IP addresses, etc.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, and after all the trouble I’ve been having on the blog the last month or so, I want us to have more control of the guild site
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Ahh, got it.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So how’s it coming along?
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] pretty well
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I think it should be up and running pretty soon
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] sorry it’s been taking so long, but I ended up losing a bunch of time getting the blog secured again after all the hacking that was going on
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So you finally have that locked down now?
[SteveKravitz | Utvoch] has logged on.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah, I think so. I set up a much tougher firewall
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] it should be a LOT harder for anyone to get through it
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] a firewall wtf?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] we’re got walls of fire here now?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No, not like that
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey Dontrag.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no, this is utvoch
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] hey though
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] I always get them mixed up.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] it’s a firewall for Garrosh’s blog
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] If it makes you feel any better, I usually have to keep a little crib sheet on me
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I still slip up every so often
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] we’re not going to have to start farming fire resist gear now, are we?
[GilbertRose | Dontrag] has logged on.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] server back up?
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] sup Dontrag
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No, it’s not a firewall like that
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Not in the game
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no, not dontrag, this is utvoch, i just said
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] no, not you
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] He wasn’t talking to you.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] walls of fire? are we doing one of the burning building scenarios?
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] Dontrag just logged on
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh i missed that
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] shouldnt we maybe recruit someone who plays a fire fighter before we try one of those
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] “oh i missed that” he says – I bet he gets tired of having to say that
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] lol
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] haha
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No, we’re not talking about BB scenarios. It’s a firewall Spazzle set up for my blog
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] you have a blog?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] hah
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ah ok
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Um, yes, I do
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Didn’t he write in for one of your mailbags, too?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] https://warchiefscommandboard.com
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, he did
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] haha, that’s great.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] lol
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Clearly you and I have very different notions of “great”
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh cool
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i will make a point of reading it, sir
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] are you sure you want them reading it?
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] as will i, great gl/warchief sir
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I mean, you kind of make fun of them a lot on it, call them stupid, etc.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I don’t say anything on the blog that I wouldn’t say to their faces
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Watch
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Also you’re assuming they would get half of the jabs he takes at them.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Dontrag
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Utvoch
[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] has logged on.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You guys know you’re fucking idiots, right?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] lol
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yes, sir
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yes sir
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] sorry sir
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ah, I see our esteemed Warchief is once again demonstrating his inimitable leadership skills.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] great apologies, sir
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i’m doing my best to remedy my failings with my extension courses, sir
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] morning, dark lady
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey, we don’t all have the benefit of having all our underlings auto-brainwashed and under our thrall, Sylvanas
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] By the way, what’s up with your names, you two? They seem kind of…generic.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good day, Utvoch.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You wound me yet again, Warchief.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yeah we both just used one of the randomly generated names
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] no this is dontrag
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] wait, under thrall?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] is thrall coming back?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] you kind of walked right into that one, boss
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No. Thrall isn’t coming back
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, I know
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Who told them about this guild again?
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] thrall said he was coming back?
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] when was this? i missed it
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] lol
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Thrall
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Is not
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Coming back
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] You could not pay me to be Warchief, honestly.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ah okay, if you say so, sir
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] truly it is a blessing that the horde has such an embarrassment of riches in our leadership
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We have an embarrassment, all right
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So hey, while you guys are here and Sylvanas is on
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I was thinking it might be good to make her an officer
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] For real?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] she was the one who was hacking into the blog, wasn’t she?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] ell one of them
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, yeah, I know. But hear me out
[Nightengayle | Garona] has logged on.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good morning, Garona.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] morning garona
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] First off, even though she did hack into the blog, I have to give her props for the way she shut Varian down
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] hi BQ.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] hi dontrag.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] yeah, that was pretty funny
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] No, that’s Utvoch.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] She’s been playing this game for a while and knows a bunch of the classes really well, plus she DID server transfer just to join this guild
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] no its not
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] is it? damn I thought I got it right this time.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no, you got it right
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] that is true, she did
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i’m dontrag
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] he’s utvoch
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Are you sure?
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Plus, you know, I’ve been thinking lately, maybe I’ve been a little too hard on her. I mean, to be fair, being tortured to death has to do a number on you
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i think we know who we are
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I would think you would know you are, as well.
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] If you think so. It probably wouldn’t be a bad gesture, since she’s the de facto leader over in Eastern Kingdoms.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Apparently, however, there is some uncertainty in the matter.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] now you’re just messing with them lol.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] ^_^
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah that too. And also as far as the hacking goes, I think maybe if we put her on the inside, she might be less likely to want to try messing with things
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, maybe.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hmm yeah
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] so what are you guys up to?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] well, if you think so, boss, it’s your call
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I need to jet in a little while, though. I have to go meet up with my cousin Khizzara
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] it’s new comic book day down at the shop!
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Just sorting out some day trading.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] d and i are just sparring outside washington
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] we should probably get back to leveling though
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] kk Spazzle
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yeah, me too.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] what level are you guys?
[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] has been promoted to the rank Officer.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] 34
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] grats!
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] 33 here
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] ^_^
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Thank you, dear Guild Leader.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] grats BQ.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] welcome aboard, sylvanas
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Thank you!
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] No problem, Sylvanas. I figure you know the game well, plus, you know, it’s always nice to actually have someone with a few IQ points in a leadership position
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you know in my other guild over on palin I’m an officer too, as a matter of fact.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Indeed.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] anyway, hate to greet and run, but I have get going
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Take care, Spazzle.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] anyway boo, you guys are too high level for me.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] was going to say we should group up.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] unless you want to run a lvl 19 nurse through a couple lowbie instances… <3
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I appreciate your trust, good GL, and will of course do my best to serve the guild well.
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] gotta run for a little while, guys. back later!
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i guess we could, sure
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] cya spazzle
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Later, Spazzle.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] <3
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Going quiet for a few, everyone, need to get this quest done for my class trinket
[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] has logged off.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] bye spazzle
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] damn, missed him
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Before you get too far into your quest, Garrosh, would it be all right if I invited a friend to the guild?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] He’s fairly new to the game, but I’m sure he’ll learn quickly. Plus he doesn’t really get out a lot, so it might be nice for him to have some new people to interact with.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Yeah, that should be fine
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] where should we meet you garona
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Anyway, busy for a few
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I’m over in moscow now.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I have a couple quests to do in the kremlin if we could do that.
[Lorthemar] has joined the guild.
[Lorthemar] has been promoted to the rank Recruit.
[Lorthemar] has been promoted to the rank Member.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ok
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Welcome, Lorthemar.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Welcome!
[Guild][Lorthemar] Thank you!
[Guild][Lorthemar] Greetings, guildmates!
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] sup
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] who’s the new guy?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] o.O
[Guild][Lorthemar] Lor’themar Theron, at your service!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh so I guess you just didn’t have enough characters to put the last name on your toon?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] I think there’s a mod you can use to get around that.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh hey is that supposed to be like whats her face from the quest chain?
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Who?
[Guild][Lorthemar] Well…no. That’s just my name.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] that npc, another theron i think
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] charlize?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Charlize, yeah.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] No, but wait, no, that’s not what he’s going for.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh wow so you’re into like that total immersion thing, huh?
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yeah thats her
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] she’s in a few in-game cinematics too.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Not many of those are really worth watching, though.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] is your toon supposed to be related to her or something?
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Ugh, too much RP.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] they are as long as you turn off your speakers
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] …
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] just sayin
[Guild][Lorthemar] I’m a little confused.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I must admit, I’m a little baffled as well.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] it’s okay, the game throws a lot at you at once, it gets easier to keep track of once you play a little.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] why, BQ? you’ve been playing this game longer than me.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] No…not like that.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Lorthemar is literally THE Lor’themar Theron.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ok…
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] right, he said that
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] and…?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] …
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] What?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Lor’themar Theron.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Regent Lord of Quel’thalas.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] not ringing any bells
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] The leader of the blood elves.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh.
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] If you say so.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] wait, didn’t we kill him a couple years ago?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Never mind.
[Guild][Lorthemar] I really am confused now.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] No, that was…you know what, forget it. Welcome to the guild, Lor’themar.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yeah i’m starting to get a little lost too
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, back
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And check this out
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] wb.
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Checking.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] welcome back sir
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So I was doing my teacher class quest to upgrade my gradebook trinket
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And I finish the quest, and since I was in an instanced inner city school zone, when I zone out I’m PVP flagged, right?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So this random guy sees me and decides he’s going to try and gank me.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Only now I’ve got my shiny new trinket, and I blow all my upgraded lesson buffs at once, and BAM, drop the scrub like a freshman-year undeclared pre-med major
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] haha awesome
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Welcome back, Garrosh.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] woot
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And I’m all doing a /detention emote on him like “WHAM! You got SCHOOLED, bitch!” haha
[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] haha
[Guild][Lorthemar] I’m not sure I really follow all that, but I’m sure it was a glorious victory, Warchief.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] They don’t call me Omgipwnedurface for nothing
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] indeed sir
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] they call you that because you entered it on the character creation screen
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Speaking of triumphant returns, by the way, I heard a rumor that Thrall was coming back. Is it true?
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Um okay
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OMG not that again
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yeah i heard someone talking about that earlier too
[Guild][Lorthemar] Really? Thrall’s returning? Do you know anything about when?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Seems he’s being very cagey about the details.
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Sylvanas, why do you insist on confusing the stupid?
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] huh interesting
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yeah sounds like he’s trying to keep it hush hush
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Sorry, dear Warchief. It’s just so easy!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] didn’t garrosh already say that wasn’t happening?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And it’s so fun to drop heavy things on the fools’ heads. They make such an entertaining splat.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yeah he did but people are still talking about it so i dont know
[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hang on brb
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] that could just be thralls cover story too
[Guild][Lorthemar] I must admit, history isn’t terribly promising when it comes to leaders who allegedly are gone for good.
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay peeps
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yeah thats true, like everyone said we killed you a couple years ago and here you are back again
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I need to log off for a little while
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] My mom wants me to get off the computer
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] bye garrosh
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Plus she’s only been in Orgrimmar a day so I should make sure she’s not going to get lost or something
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] cya sir
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] l8r
[Guild][Lorthemar] Be well, Warchief. Give my best to Mother Hellscream!
[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Later guys
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] So…is it always like this?
[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] You really don’t read the blog, do you?
You have logged off.
Monday mailbag
Before I get to the mail, I just wanted to mention the results are in for this latest round of You Choose the Next EPIC VERSE. I’m working on the latest masterpiece now and I’m going to try to have it posted this week, so stay tuned!
Now for the letters. Just a semi-quick mailbag this week, but a couple doozies…
About a month ago A Concerned Citizen wrote in to complain about the mistreatment of a Hippogryph he had received by post. Unfortunately, I don’t think this was an isolated incident — in fact, there may be a serious problem. Last week I received a similar crate in the mail. There were postmarks from at least 20 different places and it must have been in transit for weeks. The crate was emitting a terrible stench, but I braced myself and pryed it open anyway. As I feared, the poor wyvern was long deceased, its corpse in an advanced state of decay. It was the most appalling and enraging thing I have ever had the misfortune to see first hand. I cannot imagine the suffering of that poor creature as it was shunted from one place to another.
I stood stunned for a moment in shock and horror, (and was seriously considering joining DEHTA myself), when suddenly the most amazing thing happened — I felt something nuzzle my hand. I nearly jumped out of my skin! It was then that I realised there WAS something in that crate! A ghostly wyvern stood in the box, so translucent to be nearly invisible. Thing is, despite being incorporeal he can still interact with the physical world to some extent, so he can be petted, confined to a padlock, and even ridden just like a normal wyvern! I’m not sure how this is possible, but I think it might be because the poor beast doesn’t realise he’s dead. (For instance, he still likes me to feed him wyvern chow. He doesn’t actually consume it, but he makes eating motions around it and seems satisfied afterward. To save on gold I found a bunch of kibble-shaped rocks and put those in his dish and he doesn’t seem to have noticed the difference.) It’s taking a while to get used to flying around on a mount that is, for all practical intents and purposes, invisible. However, it sure is fun to watch all the jaws dropping as I fly by!
But the reason I write you, Warchief, is that I don’t think this is an isolated incident. Over the past week I’ve seen other people seemingly flying around without a mount. It’s hard to tell for sure, but I think people all over Azeroth are receiving deceased mounts in the mail. I even think I caught a glimpse of a spectral gryphon flying past me yesterday! I’m not sure what’s going on, but if members of both the Horde and the Alliance are getting dead mounts delivered to them, perhaps there has been a severe breakdown in our postal service worldwide! I know that wyverns have a place in your heart, so I thought you might want to look into this matter and perhaps prevent the further suffering of these noble creatures.
Respectfully yours,
–Kashina.
PS: I’m attaching a photo of my poor deceased wyvern. I hope he shows up well enough on that background.
This…just…wow. I mean I know I was never on particularly good terms with old Antlers McBeardyface, but even for him, this is just…yeah, that’s just sick.
What’s just as bad is that APPARENTLY our old friend Lather-on-us up in DEHTA-land couldn’t be bothered to do anything about this, even after ACC’s original letter last month, but spirits forbid I make a passing reference to browsing in a store for a leather jacket, cause then I get a dozen granola-crunchy druids picketing outside Grommash Hold and starting letter-writing campaigns and throwing buckets of fucking blood at me.
But yeah, enough is enough with this shit. I still can’t figure out how these people got it into their heads that sending mounts in the mail was any kind of good idea, but whatever. It’s time to start cracking down. So for starters, effective immediately, I’m going to start tightening up security in all our wyvern breeding grounds. Overlord Cliffwalker’s been doing a good job clamping down on the Grimtotem up in Stonetalon, so I’ll see about him assigning some more patrols for the wyverns nests there, and I’m pretty sure we can shift some troops over to Highperch in Thousand Needles now that the Twilight’s Hammer isn’t nearly so active down there.
Meanwhile, obviously if we mean business doing something about some brainstorm sending dead wyverns and gryphons C.O.D., I figure we’re going to need a point person to coordinate things. So, consider yourself volunteered, Kashina. I’m appointing you Commissioner of Stop Being a Complete Douche-Tard. Grats. And yes, Antlers, we’re talking to you.
Recently I was doing some errands for the Violet Eye – sweeping ghosts out of the ruins of Karazhan and suchlike – when I killed a big ol’ demon and discovered he had your axe in his pockets. Do you want it back? What’s Prince Malchezaar doing with Gorehowl anyway?
Regards,
–Elder Ciaroscuro (not a Lunar Festival Elder)
Hoo boy. Here we go again.
Yeah, if you could send that back here, Ciaroscuro (and by the way that was a BASTARD to type), that would be great. There’s been some really weird magical bullshit going on with that axe for a while. I’ll try to explain what I can.
So after my father Grom killed Mannoroth, and lost his own life in the process, the explosion that burst out of Mannoroth’s body sent the axe flying and embedded the blade into the nearby rocks. It got flung into the rocks with so much force that even Mr. OMG I’M SO AWESOME LOOK AT ME Thrall apparently couldn’t pull it out, either that or it didn’t even occur to him to look around for it, either then OR when he went back to put up Grom’s memorial, because I can’t think of a third option as to why Thrall would ever FUCKING EVER come back without Grom’s axe.
Some point later, Malchezaar came to Azeroth and turned up in Demon Fall Canyon. None of the other lesser demons there had ever been able to yank to axe out of the rocks, and they generally kept their distance, seeing as having the axe that killed their head honcho right there was probably kind of creepy. But, Malchezaar figured it would be a pretty good trophy for him to pick up for that very reason, and so after some doing he managed to yank it out of the stone. Apparently, by the way, he made a big deal about the fact that he was the one that managed to pull the axe out, and how that was an omen that he was destined for greatness and to be king of the demons and what-have-you, and by the way THAT’S when he started calling himself PRINCE Malchezaar, pretentious fucker.
So anyway, he heads off to Karazhan to take up shop. Only that top level of Karazhan where he hung out was in some weird kind of pocket dimension thingy, like the very top of the tower was poking into someplace called Netherspace, sort of dipping into the Twisted Nether but not quite, or some weird shit like that. I’m not too clear on the nuts and bolts of it. But, point is, it’s this strange little pocket of time and space where…well…time and space don’t quite work the normal way. And that’s where we get into the deal with Gorehowl.
So, Malchezaar had Gorehowl, right? And at some point some Horde adventurers went in there and handed him his ass, and got Gorehowl from his body, and somehow or other it found its way back to Thrall, who gave it to me. So far so good. But every so often, the freaky bizarro zone up there kicks in, and sets off some kind of a time loop. So all of a sudden, Mechazzar is up and kicking again, and he’s got Gorehowl back on him, and what do you know, poof, wherever Gorehowl WAS, it’s not there anymore. Because it got time-loop-reset back up to Prince Fancypants up there in Karazhan.
I once tried to ask Nozdormu how this whole time loopy thing could even be possible, and he rambled on at like 90 miles an hour, and just shrugged and said “wibbly wobbly, timey whimy” and looked at me like I just asked why water was wet. So no help there.
So anyway…yeah. Every so often, the axe goes poof on me, and I end up having to send a group up to Karazhan to get it back again. Which, let me tell you, is a huge pain in the ass. I’m just dreading the day when Malchezaar’s little time loop thingy resets while I’m actually in the MIDDLE of battle somewhere, and have my damn axe vanish on me mid-swing. I have to remember to start bringing a backup, actually.
On a completely separate note, I just got my first application for the new Earth Online guild, <Warchief>. Let’s have a look at our new aspiring member…
Character Name:
£õk†årøgâr
Class and Level:
Stock Broker
Talent Spec (please discuss any unusual talent choices):
0/0/41 Execution/Advisory/Discretionary Was execution but fuck that shit u gots no power and kill nothing. vry misleading name, discertionary do it all
What do you enjoy most about your class?
money money money buy the best toys and other class beg 4 help n buffs
Previous guilds and why you left:
Scum of the Earth, guild leader give his girl all the phat lootz n she like cant play so drama killed that one
Something Wicked, kicked from this one dunno why
High Finance, cant take a fkn joke. long story.
Previous raiding experience:
yes
Any time restrictions that might affect your raid availability:
i haveto be in bed by 11
Um…okay.
Actually, no, not okay.
First of all, I’m going to try not to dwell on the crazy letters in his name, but…yeah. Look, dude, you’re really overestimating how hard I’m willing to work to contact you in-game or send you a guild invite. If I can’t just fucking TYPE your name, then the odds of me sending you a whisper or an invite or whatever drops way, way down. I don’t speak alt-code.
Also…um…
You know what, I’m not even going to try to go through point for point and break down the problems with this guy. Not even the retard leet-speak. Reading it once had made my head hurt enough as it is. So I’m just going to make an executive decision and say, oops, sorry, turns out our raids all START at 11:00, so I guess that rules us out. Good luck in your search…um…Guy Whose Asshat Name I’m Not Even Going to Try to Transliterate.
Odds and ends
Nothing too major going on today, so I figured I’d just update on a few random things. I’ll be honest, too, I just haven’t gotten around to looking through the mail yet, so we’re going to hold off on a mailbag for now. I know, I know, don’t worry, I’ll get one posted soon.
Some of you might remember a ways back when this kid Gurtash wrote in to the mailbag and I agreed to let him help out taking care of Mortimer. I haven’t mentioned him since then, but man, the kid’s been hanging around here all the time. He’s a nice enough kid, don’t get me wrong, he’s just always in the neighborhood. Turns out that was kind of handy, since he was able to help take care of Mortimer a lot while I was out of commission a couple months ago (well, until Mortimer flew off, but that’s a whole other story). Anyway, Mortimer seems to have taken a shine to him too, so lately rather than letting him hover around Grommash Hold, I’ve been letting him “walk” Mortimer – by which I mean take him out for a ride on the pretense of getting him his daily exercise. Of course, Gurtash really doesn’t have the foggiest idea about riding, so it’s really more like Mortimer taking HIM for a walk. Which it pretty much is. But like I said, he keeps the kid busy, and he seems happy enough with it.
In other news… There’ve been a good number of votes so far for my next EPIC VERSE – if you haven’t yet, make sure you get your vote in. I’ll give it a few more days before I call an end to the voting and settle on a topic.
Also, it occurred to me that the last few days while I’ve been talking about the guild I’m forming on Earth Online, I forgot to mention the name I’m giving it. In a way, in fact, we’ve got Manageurdeath to thank for this – since he was all “Oh yeah, sure you’re Garrosh, oh yeah, right, uh huh, you’re the Warchief,” guess what we’re calling this guild?
You guessed it.
<Warchief>.
Personally I think that’ll actually look kind of cool over my head, gotta say.
Guild update
So, good news and bad news on the guild front.
On the plus side, turns out Sylvanas plays a little Earth Online, and she isn’t all that invested in her current server, so she’s going to transfer over to Goldwater and join the guild. Kind of funny, between her and Garona, seems like there are a lot more girl gamers than I figured there would be. Girl PLAYERS, that is – every other dude with repression issues is running around with a half-naked female toon.
On the down side, SOMEONE (yes, I’m talking to YOU, Mokvar) let his desire for perks get the better of his judgment, because somehow he decided it was a good idea to send Refer-a-Friend invitations to…wait for it…Dontrag and Utvoch.
Yeah. Fantastic, right?
So I’m wondering, I don’t suppose there’s a way NOT to let someone you know in RL into your guild, is there?
Failing that, is there any acceptable way to put people in your own guild on ignore?
The search for intelligent life on Earth Online
Okay, so enough is enough already. After I put up my catch-all application info last week for a new Earth Online guild, I’ve been fielding responses from a bunch of guilds and asking around for more options, and HOLY CRAP there’s a lot of fail out there. And look, I’m not even talking about progression, because, whatever, there’s like a hundred reasons why a guild might be going faster or slower even if they know what they’re doing. So that’s fine, you clear the content that you clear.
What I’m talking about is all these guilds you see floating around that have to be run by frigging idiots. And okay, I think I’ve already established my opinion of most guild leaders, but I’m talking serious no-fucking-around pants-on-head IDIOTS here. Like the ones you see advertising in general chat in-game where every other word in the blurb is fucking spelled wrong. Or even the ones you see every once in a while that somehow manage to spell their GUILD NAME wrong. No, I’m not kidding – I’ve seen this a few times. Look, you guys all know by now that I write poetry on the side – I like words, okay? I don’t like watching them get crapped on by a bunch of morons on the internet.
Oh, and by the way, one more axe I have to grind with these illiterate asshats – you know who you are – you ever see what happens if someone tries to call them out on BEING illiterate morons? “lol it’s the internet not Common class lol” – seriously, does that happen ANYWHERE else? Would you EVER have someone, say, try to hold a sword by the blade, and fuck their hand up like an idiot, and then if you call them out on how stupid that was, they roll their eyes at you and go “OMG we’re not in a battleground” like YOU’RE the one being an idiot for thinking that if somebody’s going to be fucking around with a sword at all, they should maybe know the blade from the hilt.
So okay. LOOK, idiots. Read this REALLY CAREFULLY, sound out the words if you have to, because you’re about to fucking LEARN something, maybe, if you’re not already too braindead to salvage. Are you paying attention, you fucking fuckwits? Okay. So: YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE IN COMMON CLASS TO SPELL YOUR FUCKING WORDS RIGHT. You know why? Because people who aren’t fucking stupid DO NOT sit around and go “Well I know how to spell this word, but it’s just the internet, so it’s really not worth the extra trouble, so I’ll just save the effort and spell it this other way that’s wrong but what the hell it’s just the internet ffs” – yeah, people DON’T do that, because you know why? Because if you know how to fucking SPELL, you just DO it and don’t even think about it, and then you go about your merry not-retarded day. And if you DON’T know how to spell, then people are going to figure you’re just stupid, because hey, guess what, YOU MOTHERFUCKING ARE.
So yeah, anyway, rant over.
So you know what? Hell with it. Toka had a suggestion in the comments the other day that I should just form my own guild, and you know what, I think there’s already enough of a track record for me to say I’d be a better leader than most of these EO GM’s (I’m looking right at you, Manageurdeath). So yeah, here’s your chance to get in on the ground floor – I’m starting a guild! So if you’re on Goldwater-Kalimdor server or you think you could use a change of scenery, hit me up. I know Spazzle and Mokvar are going to be helping found it with me, and I know Garona plays so maybe she’d be interested in rolling an alt here at least.
So, who’s in?
Monday mailbag
We’ve got a bunch of letters today, and there’s a definite Earth Online theme going on this week. So let’s get right to them…
This “Decision 2012” world event in EO is starting to look pretty interesting. And it looks like it’s pretty easy to participate, despite what some of the guides tell you.
It looks like the basic layout goes like this: right about now, you have local zone-wide events to pick “delegates” to a “convention”, to select a faction leader to contend for the office of “President”, which is the EO version of Warchief. Actually contending for faction leader sounds like an immense pain in the rear, but participation at the zone level isn’t all that hard. There’s a kind of back door in that the devs may not know about yet.
Now, the strategy guides will tell you that if you want to participate, you need to max out your “Politics” secondary skill, and grind rep with one of the factions. If you don’t have time for that, what you can do is look for a sub-zone with a ridiculously unbalanced faction population. Like, for instance, the “Texas” sub-zone, although I’ve heard that parts of “California” or “New York” will do just as well. Anyway, on your sub-zone’s scheduled day for the local event, you just show up at 7PM server time for the “Precinct Caucus” raid. Queue for the low-pop faction. And … you might be the only one to show up. Which means, you’ll be rocking a “Precinct Chairman” title for the rest of the world event. And, you’re guaranteed a slot at the “Senate District Convention” raid, which happens about a month later.
Beyond that, I’m not sure how it works. I’ve never been to a “State Convention” raid, or the “National Convention” either. Maybe I’ll make it that far this time around. It’ll be a few months before I know, though. I’d planned on making the “Precinct Convention” raid next week, but my sub-zone is having trouble applying the most recent “Redistricting” patch, which has thrown a wrench into things.
Still, it should be fun.
–A Concerned Citizen
It IS kind of cool how they’ve set this up, ACC, with the contenders for faction leader all squaring off with the server-wide push to gather resources to eliminate some of them before the big final match-up. Right now on my server it looks like there are a LOT of people running around crafting the Negative Ads needed to wear down the contending mini-bosses, although I kind of have to wonder if that ends up weakening whoever comes out in the end if it’s not a runaway victory. Then again I guess there are the Fundraising dailies, where some of the Negative Ad debuff can be offset by pouring money into somebody’s campaign fund. (And I thought the Shattered Sun Offensive were bad about asking for handouts – at least THEY gave you their “of the Shattered Sun” name tag for your troubles.)
Here’s the part I’m not too clear on, though – between these “primaries” and then the bigger “general election,” is every individual server going to have a different outcome as far as who the Warchief is going to be? Because it would be kind of weird story-wise if they don’t have one consistent leader across the whole game…but if it’s going to be standardized and preset, it kind of defeats the purpose of all these world events where it makes it seem like you get to have an effect on who ends up in charge.
Anyway, at least they’re having a world event like this to account for a possible change in leadership. It would kind of suck if you just logged on one day and the old leader was gone and the new leader was in place and the whole damn world had just gone topsy-turvy overnight.
Riiiiiiight… You totally disappeared because you were kidnapped and used in a bloodletting ceremony to have the spirit of Cho’gall take over your body. And also you’re Garrosh, warchief of the Horde. You seriously expect me to believe this shit?
First of all, as far as your “blog” being “proof” of your claims, do you not realize this is the internet? Anyone could start up a blog and pretend they were anybody. Oh look, I’m going to start up a blog as Elune, because I’m totally a beautiful night elf goddess! In the moooooooon!
Secondly, there’s no way Garrosh is smart enough to be able to string four words together, never mind learn touch typing and a complicated rotation in a video game. He’s an orc! Have you ever talked to one? “Me tired.” “Okie dokie.” “Something need doing?” And have you seen the size of Garrosh’s head? His brain must be half the size of a normal orc’s.
Thirdly, if you were Garrosh, which you are not, that ALONE would justify me booting your ass from the guild! Why would I ally myself with the most barbaric, disgusting, hated enemy of the Alliance? Actually, I fucking hope you ARE Garrosh so that every time I see you I can camp your corpse for ten hours to remind you who the fuck owns Azeroth. (Hint: It’s not the invading orc scum.)
And finally, I’m not even going to click your link. Do you think I’m an idiot? I don’t want any viruses or creepy porn pop-ups.
Don’t contact me again or I’ll report you for harassment.
–Manageurdeath, Guild Leader, <West Coast Avengers>
Oh this guy really really really wants this to end badly, doesn’t he?
I was in a bad enough mood about this asshat kicking me from his lame-ass guild before he turned out to be some fucking Alliance out in Theramore. And before he decided to go all personal. And racist, did I mention racist? Goddamn fucking human.
So ANYWAY, Manageurdeath – or should I say Brant Jasperbloom, herbalism trainer who I’m guessing fell back into that line of work after months of bringing Jaina flowers didn’t get him anywhere even though she’s JAINA, because I guess he’s just that much of a loser? YEAH YOU GOT THAT RIGHT. Boy it’s good thing I’m not really Garrosh, otherwise I would have a tech guy who can trace IP addresses AND an investigator based right there in Dustwallow Marsh to follow up on leads and make sure I’ve got the right guy, and he might even be a rogue to boot so he could sneak right on into town and peek in on you in person, and by the way you REALLY ought to clear out your browser history because you and I both know you sure as fuck don’t need ME to send you any creepy smut links, RIGHT?
And yeah, you go right ahead and report me for harassment – when I fucking BURN THERAMORE TO THE GROUND. Just you watch, Jasper, it’s coming sooner than you think.
Fucking hell I hate guild leaders.
Hahahahaha! You actually named your toon “Omgipwnedurface”? I thought that was a joke! XD
–Garona Halforcen.
PS: You should really move those two points from Overtime into Tenure. And your best secondary stat is Funding because then you won’t have to worry about going oom (out of money) and will be able to use upgraded versions of your lessons more often. So drop some Charisma and stack Funding — your throughput will go through the roof! Don’t you ever read the Self-Righteous Pricks forum?
Yeah, yeah, that’s my toon. One of them, anyway. I’ve also been playing around with a veterinarian alt a little.
And since when did YOU turn into the be-all expert on every other class? Come to think of it, Garona, what do YOU even play in the first place? Anyway, this shows how much you know – you’ve got your specs mixed up. The Funding secondary only does you any good if you’re speccing deep into the Sciences tree and get a Research Grant set bonus. Otherwise it’s just wasted points, because frankly if you’re going with more of a “Liberal Arts” setup for your Pedagogy aura, you’re going to be going OOM all the time no matter what. The 5% buff to your money doesn’t do much good when it’s a 5% buff on next to nothing in the first place. Why do you think we have to spend so much time farming tuna fish in the supermarket zones?
Decided i needed to go on a trip , somewhere im not going to be seen. Youve got a big list of alliance you want to see dead so i thought it was a bad idea to muddy up your head with the reason why and just let you know that it isnt important. Its important that ive had alot of time to myself to think though. Its why ive had time to catch up with some questions that have been swimming arround in my own head, problem was they were probably questions you get every week, how come your so great, How do you manage to keep inspiring the level of awe you are now and your thoughts on how to deal with a person using teeny-tiny harmless little words that might have been misunderstood to mean that they wanted someone else to be warchief, that sort of thing.
But then I read this weeks mailbag and thought that since Sylvanas had hacked your admin id see if i could ask her something before your goblin locked her out.
So here’s the question,which im going to try to word very carefully, if youve got those winged scourge things flying arround making more forsaken why arent any of their vrykul or vargul fighting for the horde too? I thought we could have been allys if they didnt like eating our hearts or painting their faces with our blood so much but since you look like everything these guys look up to and even have their judges arround to..judge them.
–Notzenke, Who is not hiding in the vault of archevon.
Okay, first of all, somebody needs to get Notzenke here a proofreader, like, yesterday.
Second of all, though, this is kind of a good point. With the Lich King dead, that should free up a whole lot of Scourge up in Northrend – how did Sylvanas put it that time? “Found themselves unemployed”? And say what you want about Sylvanas, but she’s definitely got enough charisma to get those stray Scourge onto our side. Obviously it worked out with the val’kyr, so I don’t know why she couldn’t do the same thing with the vargul or for that matter even all the zombies and geists and abominations. The funny thing is, it’s not even like all those Scourge have been running around loose since the Lich King’s been dead. I don’t know if they just don’t know what to do with themselves now, or if there’s something else going on, but you would think they’d be primed for somebody like Sylvanas to come along and snap them up.
Third, proofreader. Seriously. There were parts of that letter where I was like “Is this a paragraph or did he just shake his dictionary over his keyboard really hard and these are the words that fell out?”
More importantly, though, Sylvanas is not still poking around the blog. I had Spazzle crack down on blog security so everything is under lock again. Problem solved.
Lady Sylvanas,
Are you reading the Warchief’s mail too? Because, uh, that one about you and me and him in the gnomish bubble bath was, um, meant to be taken in an artistic context. As a writer to a poet.
And those “special” wands are only available to a very select clientele…
Yours,
–Quelama Lightblade
Yup, these are my readers…
I’m not even going to touch the bubble bath thing, seeing as those e-mails go right into the same spam folder as the links from random succubus web sites and fake letters from Tolvir princes offering to pay me a fortune to help them sneak money into an account in Kalimdor and oh by the way all it will take is a small deposit up front on my part. But really, you guys have got to calm down. Sylvanas is not still screwing around with the blog, she’s not in my e-mail, you can all stop being so frigging paranoid. Like I said, Spazzle has already handled that shit, so we shouldn’t be having any more trouble. Everybody just needs to chill the fuck out and stop being a bunch of Chicken Littles. The sky is not fucking falling, okay?
Or so our dear Warchief would think. Spazzle, shmazzle. Never underestimate the power of a woman on the internet. ~_^
An open guild application
You probably remember how a couple mailbags ago, I got the terrific piece of news that my Earth Online guild had kicked me out while I was busy fighting for my life against the Twilight’s Hammer. Fucking pricks. Especially that dumbass guild leader Manageurdeath, although like I’ve said before, “dumbass guild leader” might be a little redundant. How come it always seems like it’s the full-of-themselves morons and assholes who always ends up being put in charge of things?
Anyway, I’m getting off track. Point is, I’m in the market for a new Earth Online guild, and since I’m guessing I’m going to be a hot commodity, and a lot of these guilds seem to ask the same things on their OMGwhyisthissofuckinglong applications, I figured I’d save everybody a lot of time and put up my answers to a bunch of the most common questions here.
Character Name: Omgipwnedurface, Goldwater-Kalimdor server
Class and Level: 50 Teacher
Talent Spec (please discuss any unusual talent choices): 19/12/10 Humanities / Social Sciences / Sciences. I know my talents are spread around a little more than normal for my class, but I decided to go with a variation of the “Liberal Arts” cookie-cutter spec for added versatility.
What do you enjoy most about your class? Honestly? The minions. I love having minions. I usually try to queue for the classrooms in the sketchier zones, specifically so I can spawn classes with a lot of Delinquents – if I play it right and get them on my side, they can be all kinds of fun to use. Also I just finished the class questline for a Student Teacher companion, so that’s a whole new type of minion I get to start using.
Previous guild(s) and why you left: <West Coast Avengers> — disagreement over whether it was acceptable to miss raids due to kidnapping and near murder by psychotic apocalyptic cult; also subsequent disagreement over estimated proportion of poop in guild leader’s head.
Previous raiding experience: I’m still new to the game, so not much so far. At least in the game. In real life…ever hear of Icecrown Citadel? Dead Lich King? Yeah, I was all over that. Also, Tirion Fordring’s idiotic coliseum thing? That whole Horde vs. Alliance battle, where we squared off against each other rather than sparring with Tirion’s flunkies? Yeah, that had my fingerprints all over it, too. Also, I didn’t actually get involved with Ulduar, but I did trade a few punches with Varian that kept him from getting HIS grubby paws on it, either. Basically, whenever there’s been a situation where the Horde and Alliance have been at risk of being distracted by a common enemy, you can count on me to keep our attention focused on ripping each other’s throats out where it belongs rather than wasting our time on the pansy Tirion/Rhonin “We must all work together” song and dance. I fucking hate carebears.
Any time restrictions that might affect your raid availability: I’m the Warchief of the Horde. Draw your own conclusions. Also, being this awesome is a full-time job in itself.
Monday mailbag
Okay, so finally I can get to normal business like answering my reader mail! As a matter of fact, there’s a TON of it that’s piled up while I was away, so it’s probably going to take some doing to get through it all. So here we go…
I look forward to Garrosh’s speedy return. This is a continuation of an earlier question our esteemed Warchief answered for me, that I have discovered new information about.
To recap: I was confused about the use of flags to mark supply drops in Ashenvale, and the capture thereof to interfere with enemy resupply. Originally, my question was how this behavior had spread to the Dragonmaw as well. Recently, I had the opportunity to put the question to a Dragonmaw quartermaster … and the answer is head-slappingly obvious in hindsight.
Twilight Highlands is nowhere near as congested as Ashenvale. But, it is ABSOLUTELY ankle-breaker country. You’re not getting anything in by land. At least, not without losing a lot if it to ambush.
So, yeah. Stealing the enemy’s flags makes excellent sense here, too.
And best wishes for our Warchief’s return to duty. If there is anything this Blood Knight can do to assist, I can be found at the Wayfarer’s Rest in Silvermoon, when I’m not on-call with the Horde Medical Corps.
–A Concerned Citizen
Huh. Okay, I guess this one was a leftover letter for Saurfang from when he was minding the shop.
Anyway, though, ACC, good to hear from you again. And yeah, I guess it makes sense that the Dragonmaw would be adopting the same flag-marking methods that we were originally using in Warsong Gulch. I’m actually kind of relieved that there’s some sense behind what they’re doing, considering how lately the Dragonmaw have been…um…kind of shaky in terms of how on top of things they seem to be.
Don’t get me wrong, I like Zaela and all. She’s a good warrior. But you know, there’s a difference between being a good warrior and being a good person to have in charge of things, you know? And like, with Zaela, sheesh. Not the brightest bulb. If there’s a big fight coming, sure thing, I want her fighting on my side. But if there’s something going on that requires you to have your wits about you, or able to wrap your brain around something bigger than “me see, me smash”? Yeah, not so much.
Greetings again, Your Warchieferousness!
Thank you for your reply re: the housing issue in Orgrimmar. It’s unfortunate that you can’t solve this issue with the same speed with which former acting Warchief Hellscream created it, by unilateral fiat – but then I suppose if he had bothered to investigate before spewing his frankly racist edict we wouldn’t have this problem, would we? I shall, as suggested, look into Razor Hill in the interim.
With regards to to baking, I’m afraid my skills in that area of cooking extend little past spice bread and tasty cupcakes – like many self-employed aggressive problem solvers, my culinary skills revolve around making use of things I slaughter horribly on my travels. Also, as a Knight of the Ebon Blade I bear the “blessing” of the Lich King in the form of an unfortunate addiction to causing pain and suffering … there are ways and means to alleviate it, but you may wish to avoid my cooking.
Regarding the issue of pseudonyms, I think I’ll pass – every second Death Knight Arthas raised during the Battle for Light’s Hope decided that being Joe Smith, formerly of Goldshire, was not sufficiently “grimdark” enough for a soldier in the Lich King’s service, and changed his name to “Darkreaper of the Nightfall” or something similarly pretentious and absurd. Some of them, seeking to emphasize their existence as agents of the Lich King’s will, changed their names to “Arthas”! Not that they can spell it, mind. I suspect the Lich King left them too long before he raised them.
(Koltira “Deathweaver”? Used to be Koltira Twillweaver, of Goldenmist Village. Though he was a pretentious ass then, too.)
Yours,
–Twilight Vanquisher Aimee
Knight of the Ebon Blade (still not the cake vendor)
Still the Goblin Frickin’ Slums
The FUCK is this?! Okay so this is another one for Saurfang I guess, I get that, fine, makes sense he’d have some follow-up mail from the last few weeks…but DUDE! How much hate mail was he GETTING about me?! Frankly racist edict by unilateral fiat WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!!
But ANYWAY, as far as YOU go, Aimee (OH NO, look out, AIMEE is pissed at me – watch out or she might write an angsty mid-tempo acoustic guitar ballad about me and take me down a few pegs with her bitter understated irony!), you go right on ahead and find yourself a nice comfy place down in Razor Hill. Keep an eye on the kids down there while you’re at it, that should be a job you can stay on top of no problem. In the meantime we orcs and tauren will take care of the real job of defending Orgrimmar, Corpsey McBoneyknees.
Anyway, there’s got to be some mail in here somewhere that’s actually for ME…
Just thought you should know you’ve been kicked from the guild. You should have been trying to make a good impression if you wanted to pass your trial, but you haven’t given us any reason to keep you. You didn’t show up for two raids you signed up for and you haven’t logged on for, like, weeks. It’s really inconsiderate to just disappear without warning and leave us hanging like that. Would have been nice for you to at least drop us a note before you vanished.
Good luck finding a new guild,
–Manageurdeath
Guild Leader
<West Coast Avengers>
…
…
THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!?!
Okay, okay, so for anyone who’s not connecting the dots yet – this guy is my guild leader (or, well, he WAS my guild leader) from the Earth Online guild I just joined. Well, the guild I just joined as of like a month ago, right before the whole Alcaz Island deal. I haven’t logged on since I’ve been back, what with me being a little busy PUTTING MY LIFE BACK IN ORDER, but APPARENTLY I’ve just been kicked out of the guild!
Because yeah, you know what, you’re right, Manageurdeath, that was really inconsiderate for me not to give you guys a heads up that I was going to be away a few weeks DUE TO BEING FUCKING KIDNAPPED! Oh wait, did I mention the part where I was dragged to a Twilight’s Hammer stronghold where I was going to be used in a fucking BLOODLETTING CEREMONY to have the FUCKING SPIRIT OF CHO’GALL BURN OUT MY SOUL AND TAKE UP RESIDENCE IN MY FUCKING BODY? Did I mention that part??
You’re right, dude, I TOTALLY should have cleared this with you to make sure it would be adequate justification for me missing out on the fucking Board of Directors raid we had scheduled!
HOLY FUCKING FUCK’S SAKE.
Actually, you know what, hold on. I need to find Spazzle for a second. You guys hold tight for a minute. Here, funny video to kill some time while I’m doing this:
OKAY, so I just tracked down Spazzle and had him trace that e-mail from the guild guy to find out where this fucker is from. I was expecting him to be from someplace way out in the middle of nowhere, where he’s got nothing to do but play this game and think he’s all hot shit for being the guild leader, because for fuck’s sake guild leaders always seem so fucking full of themselves, but anyway, check THIS out – turns out this guy is logging on from Theramore.
FUCKING THERAMORE.
The guild I was in was being run by some goddamn fucking ALLIANCE, and not even an Alliance from someplace fucking IMPORTANT, no, run by an Alliance stuck out in the run-down town out in the middle of the fucking swamp where there’s nothing for those assholes to do but bang Jaina all day, only THIS fucker doesn’t even seem to be able to pull THAT off seeing as he’s fucking logged onto the game 37 hours a day!
So you know what, I’ll tell you this, Manageurdeath, I don’t know who you are exactly, but I’m going to fucking find out, and WHOEVER you are, mark my words, you have fucked with the WRONG ORC. Enjoy your little podunk swamp town while you can, because I’m telling you right now, somehow, someday, I am going to open up such a can of fucking DISASTER on that place, you and all your little Jainabanging friends aren’t going to know what even fucking HIT you. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
UGH. Okay, so there’s still a pretty big pile of mail, but I’m in NO mood to deal with any more of this shit today, so I promise I’ll answer as much of it as I can next Monday. In the meantime, keep it coming. I’ll talk to you all later when I’m not dreaming dreams of ruins in the fucking swamp.
UGH!!!
