Tag Archives: deliana
The Tao of Ji Firepaw
So since that last little…discovery…Liadrin’s been buzzing around Orgrimmar, helping with the relocated refugees. At least as far as the world at large can see. Most of the new arrivals have settled in pretty well. A few are pretty eager for some payback against the Alliance, in fact, so we’ve even gotten a few new recruits out of the deal.
Mostly, though, she’s been helping Shayari get adjusted. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t be too keen on a blood elf taking up the job of teaching someone what it means to be Horde, but I’ve worked with Liadrin enough to know she’s got a pretty good head on her shoulders. Plus Shayari already seems to be on decent enough terms with her, so she’s probably going to be more comfortable with Liadrin than she would with some other random person.
Meanwhile, I had a meeting this morning with Krog, who was reporting on a few investigations he was working on while I was in Pandaria. What he found ended up prompting me to schedule another impromptu meeting this afternoon.
Kicking it over to Tak’s record…
(Yay! I get to be Mr. Warchief’s scribe again! Mr. Warchief looked super serious, so I guess this was a big important meeting. Ms. Ben-Lin Panda Lady was there, and so was Mr. Krog, another orc I don’t know too well. I’m sure he’s nice, though! Mr. Warchief must have a hard job if he needs so many people to help him! I hope I do okay!
Mr. Malkorok came in at the start of the meeting, but he only stayed for a minute. He didn’t look very happy, though. He should smile more! I bet he wouldn’t be so grumpy then. He brought Mr. Goblin and Mr. Ji Panda Man with him. I think maybe their feet were sore, because Mr. Malkorok was carrying them by their collars. That’s nice of him! Maybe he’s starting to be nicer!)
MALKOROK – Here they are, Warchief. Let me know if they cause you any…difficulty. (flinging Spazzle and Ji into the room) I’ll be only too happy to use less of a soft touch to show them out.
(I guess not. He seems so mean sometimes. I don’t understand why. =( )
GARROSH – That’ll be all for now, Malk. I’ll check in with you later.
MALKOROK – Yes, sir. If you’ll excuse me, then, I have a few matters to see to with the provisioners.
(Mr. Malkorok left. Yay!)
SPAZZLE – (rubbing his head) So… um… what’s going on, boss? You know if you wanted to see me, you could have just shot me an IM, or—
GARROSH – Yeah, well, I wanted to make sure you got over here without any extra stops along the way.
JI – Oh. Um… is it a surprise party or something?
(Ooh is it? I love parties! Yay!)
GARROSH – Oh, there’ve been some surprises, all right.
JI – Is there cake?
SPAZZLE – Ji…
GARROSH – But this is no party.
(Oh. =( )
SPAZZLE – So… what’s up, boss?
(Mr. Warchief looked back at Mr. Krog and Ms. Ben-Lin-Lin. Then he turned back and stared at Mr. Goblin and Mr. Ji for a minute. He looked really angry – I wish he wouldn’t get so upset!)
GARROSH – Did you really think I wasn’t going to find out?
SPAZZLE – (blinking) Um…?
JI – I don’t think I underst—
GARROSH – YOU keep quiet, Paddington. I’ll get to you. (turning back to Spazzle) Now then. Back to you.
SPAZZLE – Uh… okay…
GARROSH – See, I’ve had Krog here looking into a few security matters while I’ve been away. And, oh man, did he ever have an earful for me this morning.
SPAZZLE – Oh… So, um… what was Krog… uh… looking into, chie—
GARROSH– Don’t sit there and act like you don’t already know, dammit. Don’t insult my intelligence on top of everything else.
(Mr. Goblin started looking really nervous.)
GARROSH – (pointing to Ji) Now, THIS one I could understand, because seriously, who knows WHAT Stuffed-With-Fluff here is thinking any given day. But YOU? You’re the last one of ANY of these clowns I would have expected to go sneaking around behind my back.
SPAZZLE – I… sneaking around… (eyes going wide) Oh… oh frak…
GARROSH – OH FRAK IS RIGHT, whatever the fuck it means. Did you SERIOUSLY think I wasn’t going to find out you were getting mixed up in this Mokvar business?
SPAZZLE – I swear, boss, I only ever talked to Vol—V—ohl. Oh. Oh! Oh…yeah. The Mokvar business! Right. That’s…that’s what I’ve been doing, all right. Red-handed, yes sir. That is indeed the entirety of my suspect behavior, absolutely. Don’t, um, don’t know what I was thinking, chief! (slapping his own hand repeatedly) Bad! Bad Spazzle!
GARROSH – Dude, seriously, you are so fucking weird sometimes.
(Everyone’s so upset today! It makes me sad. =( )
JI – Garrosh, you shouldn’t be angry with Spazzle. I was the one that—
GARROSH – Believe me, Deep-Dish, there’s PLENTY of blame to go around. From what I can tell, you’ve BOTH been keeping plenty busy. MATTER OF FACT – Krog, you wanna give them the short version before they start getting a case of patchwork memory?
KROG – Yes, sir. (flipping through a note pad) Shortly after Eitrigg banished Mokvar—
GARROSH – Only good move the old prune made while I was away, by the way.
KROG – …Fizzletrinket was observed meeting with Mokvar and the human Deliana in Everlook, Winterspring.
SPAZZLE – Wait, how did you trail me to Everlook?
KROG – I’m a rogue. Work it out.
SPAZZLE – But why were you observing me?
KROG – I observe everyone.
GARROSH – He’s very thorough.
SPAZZLE – But I hadn’t done anything—
GARROSH – Until you did?
KROG – To continue… (flipping through pad again) No unusual behavior observed until some weeks later. A short time after the purge of Dalaran, Fizzletrinket is known to have reached out to Earthen Ring contacts in and around Orgrimmar. Shortly thereafter, Firepaw observed traveling to Earthen Ring outpost in Twilight Highlands. Subsequent investigation indicated Firepaw had approached Earthen Ring elders concerning locating Mokvar.
GARROSH – So. Here’s where one of you starts talking. I don’t really care which one.
(Mr. Goblin and Mr. Ji stared at the floor. Maybe they didn’t hear Mr. Warchief? Oh, or did someone drop something?)
GARROSH – Okay then. How about this. Why weeks of nothing, then all of a sudden you jump into Mokvar mode? Was it a signal? Some message he got to you somehow, maybe something you planned for at your little get-together in Winterspring?
JI – We haven’t heard anything from Mokvar, no…
GARROSH – I know he gave you something, Greenie. Some— what was it, Krog?
KROG – A small parcel, sir. Delivered to Fizzletrinket in Everlook. I wasn’t able to confirm what it was exactly.
GARROSH – Yeah. So…was that part of it? Or is it some other surprise I get to look forward to?
SPAZZLE – It… it was a totem.
GARROSH – Go on.
SPAZZLE – It’s called a recall totem. Shamans attune themselves to them so they can teleport back home with their Astral Recall spell.
GARROSH – And Mokvar was giving it to you because…?
SPAZZLE – So… when this was all over…he could bring himself home.
GARROSH – Oh, so you mean, back home to the place he got himself BANISHED from? And you just went right ahead and helped him set up to pop back into town and do spirits-knows-what he’s planning?
SPAZZLE – It doesn’t really matter at this point…
JI – You don’t know that.
GARROSH – What the hell does that mean?
SPAZZLE – The totem… the totem went out. It fizzled out. The spirit link between Mokvar and the totem was broken, and the only reason that would happen is if Mokvar was dead. Like, for-real dead.
JI – We still can’t be sure.
SPAZZLE – You only say that because you’re not a shaman. You don’t understand.
JI – I say it because I’m not a pessimist.
SPAZZLE – Anyway. That’s…that’s why we were trying to reach the Earthen Ring. To see if there was any way to find out for sure what happened to Mokvar.
GARROSH – You just said he’s dead. What else is there to know?
SPAZZLE – (shrugging) I don’t know.
GARROSH – Huh. Dead. (thinks) Good then. Best news I’ve heard all day.
BEN-LIN – Garrosh, please—
GARROSH – Not now, Ben.
BEN-LIN – If he is indeed gone, there is nothing to be gained from—
GARROSH – Ben, CAN it. So. You two. Why?
SPAZZLE – (staring down) I guess I just wanted to believe there was a reason for all the weird things he was doing.
BEN-LIN – Garrosh, it does not appear there was really any harm in—
GARROSH – DAMMIT, BEN, STOP ACTING LIKE MOKVAR WAS SOME POOR INNOCENT VICTIM! I still don’t understand half the shit he was doing, but I don’t need to. Dealing with some human, with that Neeru Fireblade…most of all cutting some kind of deal with MAGATHA. You haven’t been around that long, Ben, so I don’t expect you to have any idea what that MEANS—
BEN-LIN – I understand your anger, Garrosh. But what Ji and Spazzle have done—
GARROSH – IS THE SAME DAMN THING. (glaring back at Spazzle and Ji) Listen… I can deal with the bitching from Baine. And I can take it from Lorthe’motherfucker, because what else would I expect from him? And I can take it from Sylvanas, because let’s face it, she’s kind of evil anyway. They come with the job. I inherited them. But THEM… Spazzle and Mokvar… I CHOSE them. I fucking LET THEM IN. And now—
BEN-LIN – And now you feel betrayed and angry. I understand.
GARROSH – Is this where you give me one of your speeches about pushing the anger down and burying it, or some shit?
BEN-LIN – Not at all. Your emotions are real and valid. They cannot be contained and ignored, or they will only fester; they must be let out, and dealt with.
GARROSH – Listen, you’re here to help me try to talk sense to Double Stuff over there, not to start fortune cookie-ing on me.
SPAZZLE – Look, chief, I get why you’re mad, and I’m sorry…
JI – I’m not.
GARROSH – (blinking) Excuse me?
BEN-LIN – (facepawing) And here we go.
JI – I’m not sorry. Mokvar is my friend. He’s your friend, too. I don’t know why you’ve chosen to forget that, but I don’t regret trying to help him.
GARROSH – Lunchbox, maybe you just haven’t been paying attention to what the fuck’s been going on, or maybe it all just slipped out of your damn head, what with all the bacon fat you’ve got up there apparently—
SPAZZLE – Whew, and I thought I was in trouble up to a minute ago.
GARROSH – …but I tried to help Mokvar too, when all the weird crap started happening. I tried to PROTECT him – and he thanked me by running around with at least two and maybe three or four of my enemies. If he was such a great friend, you want to explain to me why he’d be dealing with the likes of Magatha? Riddle me THAT one, Pudge.
JI – I don’t know.
GARROSH – Yeah, so—
JI – That doesn’t mean he had no reasons for doing what he did. It only means we don’t know what those reasons were. Until I find out, why should I assume the worst?
GARROSH – Because you’ve got an ounce of sense in your head? OH WAIT, APPARENTLY YOU DON’T.
JI – Garrosh, I don’t know all of what Mokvar was doing, but I know he’s a good man. So whatever he’s done, I’m willing to trust it was what he needed to do.
GARROSH – Yeah, well, that’s great, Second-Serving, but you know what? Some of us have to live in fucking REALITY-LAND.
JI – Garrosh—
GARROSH – Seriously, Ben, do you hear this shit?
BEN-LIN – I do.
GARROSH – I don’t know where he gets this crap.
BEN-LIN – We study it, sir.
GARROSH – Yeah, well— what?
BEN-LIN – Consider, Garrosh: I know – well, I suspect – you are already familiar with the Huojin philosophy of action, that challenges are to be faced directly and decisively.
GARROSH – Yeah, I remember one of you people yammering about that when you first got here.
JI – That was me.
GARROSH – It was?
JI – Yes, sir. Right before you made us fight an arena full of monsters.
GARROSH – Ah. Well then.
BEN-LIN – And while we hold to this ideal of decisive action, Garrosh, another key component for us is that those actions be based upon the world as it is, not as the world as we might wish it to be.
JI – Otherwise, you expend your energy trying to force square pegs into round holes, then raging at the pegs for not fitting.
BEN-LIN – It is a point I have tried to make with you before, Garrosh. Much of your anger, I feel, stems from insisting of the world, “This is not supposed to be happening this way,” then attempting to force it to happen some other way.
GARROSH – Funny, I feel pretty sure it stems from the fact that I’m surrounded by TRAITORS AND FUCKING MORONS.
KROG – Um…
GARROSH – Not you, K.
BEN-LIN – “Traitors and morons,” as you put it—
GARROSH – FUCKING morons. Not just garden variety.
BEN-LIN – …being a perception, you see, grounded on the insistence that those people’s choices and intellects should be something other than they are.
GARROSH – I… erm… what the FUCK does any of this have to do with fucking ANYTHING? I don’t even know what we’re fucking TALKING about!
JI – It’s not that complicated, Garrosh. Things happen in the right way, at the right time – when you let them, rather than struggling against them. Mokvar needed to act. So he followed the path that the world placed before him. Just as I, faced with a friend in danger, acted by following the path that was available to me.
BEN-LIN – According to Huojin, the greatest wrong would be not to act.
GARROSH – Oh for fuck’s sake… Well, whatever, Heaping-Helping, your “paths” or whatever have reached a dead end.
JI – Actually, I’d wanted to ask you, I was thinking—
GARROSH – Well DON’T. DON’T think. Just do what you’re fucking told for once. Starting with parking yourself at home and staying there. (turning to Krog) Krog – escort Stay-Puft here back to his house, and make sure he stays there. I’ll have a guard sent over to keep an eye on the door.
KROG – Yes, sir.
GARROSH – Consider yourself under house arrest until I decide what to do with you.
JI – But I think there still might be a—
GARROSH – THERE’S NOT. THE END. Now GO.
JI – If you say so, Garrosh. Time will tell, I suppose…
(Mr. Krog left with Mr. Ji. I’m confused. Everybody seems so upset and nervous and they’re yelling and arguing and nobody seems to be getting along even though we’re all friends and I don’t understand why. It gives me sad kitty face. =( )
SPAZZLE – Really, chief, try not to be too hard on him. He’s just been worried since Mokvar disappeared, and—
GARROSH – Why are you talking like you’re off the hook now yourself?
SPAZZLE – Um…
GARROSH – You can count yourself lucky that, far as I can see, you’ve mostly just been the messenger in all this. And BOTH of you are lucky Mokvar’s gone to the big rez timer in the sky, otherwise I wouldn’t be nearly so generous with either one of you. But you, Short Stack, you can consider yourself under house arrest too while I cool down. Just so happens, I’m not so worried about you trying to skip town before I post the guard.
SPAZZLE – Uh…yeah, okay, chief… I guess I can keep myself busy online for a while, while you…you know…think things over.
GARROSH – I mean, seriously, with all the time you spend on Earth Online, you’ve practically been on self-imposed house arrest almost the whole time I’ve known you. You’ll live.
BEN-LIN – I think it is wise that you are not rushing to a decision with angry, Garrosh.
GARROSH – Yeah, whatever, Ben. Anyway, Spazzle, you get your tail back home pronto. I need to go track down Faranell and see if he’s finished those tests on Shayari yet.
BEN-LIN – Shayari?
SPAZZLE – Yeah, she’s… (stopping himself, looking to Garrosh) Um, that is…
GARROSH – (shrugging) Whatever, I’d end up telling her anyway. Shayari’s my daughter. We think.
BEN-LIN – Your… you have a daughter, Garrosh?
SPAZZLE – It’s okay if you need to sit down. I did at first.
GARROSH – Yeah, we think so. Faranell’s doing his tests now, but her story seems to check out.
BEN-LIN – I see. (thinking) Well then. I will clear my schedule for the next week.
GARROSH – Turns out, she was born back in Nagrand when I was like eighteen, only I never knew about her until just a few days ago.
BEN-LIN – So…you have a long-lost, newfound…teenage daughter?
GARROSH – Yeah.
BEN-LIN – Very well. The next two weeks.
SPAZZLE – You haven’t heard the best part yet.
BEN-LIN – Oh dear.
GARROSH – Uh, yeah, she’s…kind of…well, her mother was draenei. Shayari was living with the Alliance in Dalaran until, you know, the shit hit the fan and Jaina kicked her out…
BEN-LIN – A month. One month, but that is as far as I can go.
GARROSH – Anyhow. I need to go find the doc. Might as well get this confirmed, as if there’s any doubt left at this point, what with how Mortimer is doting over her. I’ll expect you back at your house before the guard gets there. Don’t make me come looking for you, Greenie.
(Mr. Warchief left, still grumbling a little.)
BEN-LIN – A daughter… why that is… How old did you say she is?
SPAZZLE – Seventeen, I think.
BEN-LIN – Goodness, that is…that is simply remarkable! And he had no idea until now?
SPAZZLE – You wouldn’t ask that if you’d seen the shade of gray he turned when he found out.
BEN-LIN – My word… This is astounding! Garrosh reunited with an unknown daughter, from across faction lines! I scarcely have words for it!
SPAZZLE – Huh. You know, not for anything, but you seem really jazzed about this.
BEN-LIN – Are you kidding? (beaming) This is going to put my grandchildren through college.
[A quick update on the Transmogs for Shayari contest! First of all, thank you to the many readers who have already sent in outfits for Shay – they’ve been great so far, so keep them coming! I just wanted to correct an error that I noticed in the original announcement: I had listed the deadline for the contest as Saturday, February 27. This is problematic, in that February 27 is not a Saturday. Don’t ask me what happened there. I was probably having another one of my many episodes. At any rate, I figure I may as well err on the side of giving people more time rather than less, so let’s revise the due date to the next Saturday after the 27th, which would be March 1.
I think. Hang on.
<checks calendar all paranoid-like>
Yes, there we go. So, officially: the deadline for the Transmogs for Shay contest is SATURDAY, MARCH 1! Get thee to mogging!]
Cheat Sheet
As promised in my last post, here’s an overview of the state of the blog. I realize that after two years of accumulated in-jokes and storylines, the Command Board may be a bit disorienting to a newcomer (or, for that matter, to a long-time reader who blinked at the wrong time), so I’ve tried to break this down into a semi-sorta-kinda FAQ. Most of this will be familiar to long-time readers (though I’ve also included a few behind-the-scenes notes that some of you might find interesting), but I hope it’ll explain a few things for new arrivals.
I hate Garrosh! Why does Garrosh seem so sympathetic in this blog? Are you one of those Garrosh apologists/fanboys?
Comically enough, I originally started the blog because I really didn’t like Garrosh either, and saw the blog as a way to have a few chuckles mocking him. It wasn’t long, though, before I decided that I would get sick of the outright-mockery approach pretty quickly, so I started branching out. Part of the result was letting blog-Garrosh become (I hope) a bit more multifaceted, while still remaining true to his temperamental self. Including the LOLs.
Ultimately, I don’t set out to justify anything Garrosh does, just to present it in a way that makes sense in light of the character, and if that pushes a black-and-white scenario into some shade of gray, well, that makes for a more interesting story anyway. And, keep in mind, the story here is being told, generally, from Garrosh’s point of view, so I don’t know how that perspective wouldn’t be sympathetic. Everyone is the hero of their own story, after all, and nobody thinks they’re a bad person.
Why isn’t there anything here about the siege of Orgrimmar?
What are you talking about? There was a post titled “The siege of Orgrimmar” a good solid year ago – if anything, shouldn’t you be asking why Blizzard is coming so late to the party? (By the way, I didn’t realize until just now that patch 5.4 was released almost exactly on the one-year anniversary of the “Siege or Orgrimmar” post. How awesomely freaky is that?)
Anyway, to give a real answer: Time-wise, the blog has not yet reached the events of patch 5.4. The storyline is currently playing out the midst of 5.2; Lor’themar Theron and Jaina Proudmoore have recently set up shop on the Isle of Thunder, while Vol’jin is still recovering from his injuries at Shado-Pan Monastery.
This time lag between the game and the blog, by the way, is partly by design. I’d always intended the blog to run a bit behind the game; coming into MoP, I realized that if I tried to follow in-game events too closely, I wouldn’t have time to adapt my own ideas to fit Blizzard’s story. There have already been a few instances in which Blizzard’s story has taken a turn that’s forced me to change gears in a way that would have been disastrous if I didn’t have a month or two of lead time. Of course, I’m clearly more than a month or two behind – that’s been a result of various real-life circumstances slowing down my output over the last few months. I’m working on it!
So the blog basically retells in-game events, from Garrosh’s point of view?
Yes and no. The blog operates within Blizzard’s continuity (with the aforementioned time delay), but also weaves additional storylines in and around the canonical Blizzard plots. Anything that happens or is stated explicitly in-game is canon, obviously, and the blog is bound by it.* That said, I sometimes like to put other stories around Blizzard’s, to give them context that might change the way those events are perceived. (This was a large part of my motivation for the Timequake story leading into Theramore, or, more recently, the blog events surrounding the Divine Bell / Domination Offensive storyline.)
Also, while the point of view is mostly Garrosh’s, there are some posts that present events from other perspectives. Most notable are the “guest” posts by Spazzle (Garrosh’s tech goblin), which help fill in story details that Garrosh wouldn’t necessarily be privy to. You can always identify a post written by someone other than Garrosh by the color of the text – Spazzle’s posts, for instance, are always written in green text, and almost always include the phrase “Spazzle Speaks” in the title. Also, as a rule of thumb, when Spazzle et al post, Garrosh remains oblivious to anything that might be revealed; the conceit at work here is that Garrosh doesn’t really care what anyone else is writing, so he doesn’t bother reading it.
* The one instance that I’ve flat-out fudged in-game details is the way I’ve chosen to incorporate the events of “A Little Patience.” From the Alliance point of view, that scenario takes place almost immediately after Varian arrives in Pandaria; in the blog, I’ve pushed those events a bit later in the story. This was largely a matter of convenience: I knew that I wanted there to be a military operation in Krasarang in which Garrosh’s trainees went missing, and I realized fairly late in the going that “A Little Patience” lent itself to that story pretty readily. Hopefully those Alliance-side readers out there will be willing to turn a blind eye to my blatant and shameless revision. (Horde bias rears its ugly head again! GRR!)
Garrosh has trainees? When did that happen?
Right here! As part of the escalation of the war effort, the Kor’kron started a training program to prepare orc teenagers for eventual military service. When Garrosh learned that Gurtash – an orc boy from the Orgrimmar orphanage whom Garrosh had taken under his wing – had been conscripted, Garrosh volunteered to take Gurtash’s trainee group under his own supervision. (Side note: In my head-canon, Garrosh has a bit of a soft spot for the orphans, being as he is one himself.) The trainees, who have nicknamed themselves the Dead Peons Society (DPS for short) have accompanied Garrosh to Pandaria and joined him on a few adventures. Fairly recently, they went missing after the Horde loss in the “A Little Patience” scenario, and were eventually found by Garrosh, hiding away in an underground system of caves. That’s brought us up to the point where we are now, story-wise: Garrosh and the trainees underground, looking for a way out.
Is the entire supporting cast from within the game?
Mostly, but not entirely. I’ve invented a few characters for the blog – Spazzle being the highest-profile – but I’ve tried to keep it limited, and tried to restrict those characters to fairly peripheral positions in the lore. The one glaring exception was the storyline involving Garrosh’s mother, Lakkara, who isn’t mentioned anywhere in the actual lore. It just struck me as odd that there’s no record of who she was, or what happened to her, and besides, in a mythology packed to capacity with father/son relationships, I thought it was about time somebody’s mom got a little screen time.
Otherwise, when a character turns up who doesn’t exist in-game, that character was often inspired by a reader and/or based on someone’s game character. For instance, both Gurtash and Mortimer (Garrosh’s personal wyvern) became blog characters thanks to mailbag letters from Khizzara from Blog of the Treant; Khizzara’s own namesake has made a few appearances as Spazzle’s cousin; doodle-prone kitty druid Taktani became a full-fledged character (and boy, is she ever a character) after making several mailbag contributions; and many of the DPS trainees are modeled on the baby orc alts of friends.
In general, though, if you see a supporting character turn up whose name you don’t recognize, the smartest first guess is that he or she is based on a questgiver or other NPC somewhere in-game. (Wowpedia is your friend!) I deliberately picked a lot of relatively minor NPCs – people like Mokvar, Elder Cloudfall, and Dontrag and Utvoch – to use as supporting characters because I figured their relatively peripheral status gave me more latitude to work with them, give them backstories, etc. After all, what are the odds that Blizzard would actually do something with one of these people to contradict my own concoctions?
(Either way, if you’re not sure who someone is, I’ve also maintained a partial list of supporting players on the About the Blog page, including some of the more pertinent information about them.)
Speaking of which – in the SoO raid, Mokvar is a mini-boss! Isn’t he missing? How are you going to deal with that?
First… um, yeah, that whole “no way they’re gonna do something with this guy” really blew up in my face on this one, huh?
And second… So, everyone who thought I was going to lay out this big storyline for Mokvar, and make such a production out of his disappearance…and then have it turn out that he really is dead…step forward.
Didn’t think so.
For those of you unclear on Mokvar’s whole story, which has been unfolding gradually for quite a while, you can check here for a brief overview and links to the relevant posts. Very short version: After becoming the victim of a mysterious attack, Mokvar sets out to track down a powerful relic from his warlock days, with the aid of a human named Deliana (who was Mokvar’s Alliance equivalent in the old dungeon set quests); over the course of his quest, he starts to behave increasingly strangely, culminating in his eventual flight from arrest in Orgrimmar. His whereabouts are now unknown.
Stay tuned. You’ll see where this is going!
With Mokvar gone, how are you handling the transcripts?
Prelinimary: The blog contains several transcripts of conversations that Garrosh has engaged in. The premise from the outset has been that Mokvar is (or was) Garrosh’s personal scribe, and records all these conversations for posting. This explains, by the way, a number of occasions when Garrosh mentions summoning Mokvar to an event, or otherwise noting Mokvar’s presence, as a way of leading in to a transcript.
Since Mokvar is off the grid, Garrosh has passed transcription duties to two people: Gurtash, who records his transcripts in the form of comics; and Taktani, a friend of Dontrag and Utvoch and long-time mailbag contributor, who’s started to (and will continue to) write a few transcripts, laden with her own unassuming brand of commentary.
What are these guild chat logs that keep cropping up?
Garrosh and several of the supporting characters play an MMORPG called Earth Online – the basic premise being that, to these characters, Azeroth is reality, and our real world is actually the game world of the MMO. Garrosh started his own guild, called <Warchief>, and several familiar faces (including Spazzle, Sylvanas, Lor’themar, Faranell, Garona, and Dontrag and Utvoch) are members. Also worth noting is that Jaina Proudmoore is a member of the guild…although she doesn’t realize (yet?) who her guildmates are in “real life.”
The guild chat logs recreate some of the exchanges that the members of <Warchief> have within their game, usually including regular guild chat, officer chat, and, in some cases, whispers. I make no pretense about the fact that some aspects of these logs are based on my own guild-chat expeiences, especially officer chat. The transcripts are always presented from the point of view of whoever posted them – usually Garrosh, but occasionally Spazzle.
Where did this whole thing about lemon squares come from?
Garrosh loves lemon squares. Don’t you?
Real explanation: Very early in the blog, Edenvale of The Gamer’s Fridge posted a recipe for Garrosh Hellscream’s lemon squares, and pointed me to her post with a comment on the Command Board. Since then, it’s become a bit of a running gag – the recipe, according to Garrosh, was his greatmother’s secret family recipe, and he was most perturbed that this random night elf had apparently gotten ahold of it.
What does “FYV” mean?
An abbreviation of one of Garrosh’s favorite turns of phrase, of course: “Fuck you, Varian!” Among other things, Garrosh often finds a way to slip that phrase into his EPIC VERSE compositions.
Speaking of which, what’s this “EPIC VERSE”? Garrosh writes poetry?
You sound surprised. Garrosh is an orc of many interests. What, do you think he’s some kind of one-note caricature or something?
Okay, fine, game-Garrosh kind of is.
Honestly, I just got a kick out of the obvious dichotomy of Garrosh Hellscream, gruffest of the gruff, also writing poetry on the side. True to form, Garrosh doesn’t view his compositions as just any poetry, so he prefers to call them EPIC VERSE. In caps. Always. It’s sprinkled throughout the blog – almost always in purple text, to stress its epic-ness – and ranges from limericks, to parodies of other famous poems, to reader requests, to epic rap battles.
So, that’s as much as I can think to cover. Other gaps can probably be filled in through the Major Storylines page, but if there are questions that anyone still has, in terms of getting caught up or clarified, by all means toss them into a comment and I’ll make sure it’s answered. And so, on that note, I’ll sigh off with the promise – unconditional promise! – that before the week is out, you’ll have the continuation of the actual STORY part of the story! Which left off, as you might recall, right here:
Spazzle Speaks: Parting Gifts
I usually don’t make a big deal of it, but one thing that honestly irks me a lot is when people assume that because I’m a goblin I must be friends with all the other goblins – like there’s no difference between the Bilgewater Cartel and any of the other goblin cartels. People just see “goblin” and figure I must have relatives in Ratchet, or know the guy they ran that errand for in Booty Bay. The fact of the matter is, the different goblin cartels are pretty separate a lot of the time, and having spent most of my life in Kezan prior to the Cataclysm, I hardly had any contact at all with the Steamwheedle goblins who came to settle in Kalimdor and the Eastern Kingdoms.
Funny thing, though – under the circumstances right now, that stuff probably made it a lot easier for me to sneak off to Everlook than it would be for anyone else. Even with Mokvar banished, the border patrols are still on watch and asking a lot of questions of travelers, but with me? They see goblin, hear “Everlook,” and automatically think “Oh, yeah, that must be cool.”
So I had a pretty easy time getting up there to see Mokvar. Deliana was with him, but she didn’t have too much to say. Neither did Mokvar, actually – at least not as much as I would have liked. Even when I told him about the banishment, he wouldn’t give me much of anything by way of reaction. He said something about being surprised Eitrigg would go that far, but he didn’t seem upset – if anything, he almost looked a little amused about it. Eventually he filled in a few small pieces for me, but mostly wouldn’t go into much detail. He said it wasn’t because he didn’t trust me, but because he didn’t want me to know too many things that I might have to deny later. That was fine with me, honestly. I feel like I’ve already got enough secrets to keep from Garrosh as it is.
The one thing he did fill in for me was about he and Deliana escaping Orgrimmar. He started right in with that, actually – one of the first things he did when I got there was ask if Ji was okay. Which he is, by the way. As it turns out, though, Ji knew all along what was going to happen. He and Mokvar had planned a while ago that if Mokvar were captured, Ji would gather up some supplies and come see him…and then let himself get knocked out, providing some cover for the escape in the process. I tried pressing Mokvar about getting past the guards, but he just said something about “guardian angels” and asked me to trust him.
And the thing is, despite everything that’s been happening, I do. Like Garona said the other day – when you look at everything Mokvar’s done, there are only two ways to account for it: either he has something planned that he can’t tell us about, or he’s a fool. And Mokvar being a fool…that’s just too hopelessly improbable for me to accept. So I’m choosing to trust him, until it bites me in the keister. At least now I know Ji and I are in this together. Sort of.
Also, the trust definitely isn’t one-sided. The main reason Mokvar wanted to see me was to give me something: a recall totem. It’s what we shaman use for our Astral Recall spell – we’ll attune this totem to ourselves, then keep it at home, or in some other safe location. As long as a shaman is alive, our link to the elements will let us teleport ourselves back to wherever that totem is. Mokvar gave me his and asked me to keep it safe. He said that when this was over, he would need a way to bring himself home, but in safe surroundings. Among friends. He considered leaving it with Ji, but he figured an extra totem would be less conspicuous with me since I’m a shaman too.
It still feels pretty conspicuous to me, though. But that’s probably just my imagination. It’s set out on my mantle now – among a bunch of other elemental odds and ends that I’m hoping will all blend around it, even though to me the recall totem is sticking out like a sore thumb. Still, I’m sure – I hope – that nobody other than me will think anything of it. So there it is, giving off that living green glow, with that blinking green light on top. Waiting for its chance to call Mokvar back home, after the world has finished dragging him back into his past.
[Header image provided by Angelya from Revive and Rejuvenate, used here with permission and many thanks.]
Spazzle Speaks: Tell Hell
You have logged on.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’m pretty sure ur wrong
[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] hi mrbad
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] I’LL GO GET MY COPY SO WE CAN CHECK
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i’m quite sure i’m not.
[Guild][Lor’themar] Greetings, MrBadcrumble!
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: hey ji – you feeling ok?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] no sweetie u dont have to
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] hi MBC
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ah, Spazzle, I’m glad to see you on. I’d like to discuss something with you when you have a free moment.
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: yes, i think i’ll be ok
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey everyone
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: have you heard anything about mokvar?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugh well now hes flown off
You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: not a thing
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: just a little sore.
You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: why? is there news?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] sure
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh hi baddie i didnt see u come on
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] do we have more IPs to trace or something?
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: well that’s good
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] No no, nothing quite so technical.
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: not that I know of
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] how’s it going, leslie?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] not bad
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] huh, really?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] same ol same ol really
You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: well if you need anything let me know
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You sound surprised.
[LamontCranston] whispered: Hi there.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] well, after a while you kind of get used to it when people only want to talk to you because they can’t get their printer to work
You whispered to [LamontCranston] hi
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] OK HERE WE GO
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] SHERMAN’S CODEX RIGHT?
You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: at this point I don’t think anything would surprise me, though
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] True… I suppose it comes with being one of the few tech literates in the cohort.
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: I know, right?
[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] what are you guys doing?
[LamontCranston] whispered: Are you busy?
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] volume 2, yes.
You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: honestly I don’t understand what Mokvar could be thinking
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] THERES A VOLUME 2?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] you get used it mostly
You whispered to [LamontCranston]: a little
You whispered to [LamontCranston]: were you interested in the guild?
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: that’s the thing, though
[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: thanks, i will
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] sorry if I’m slow
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] prof here is trying to tell me there’s teleportation magic that would let someone blink all the way to other worlds
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] trying to juggle a bunch of tells
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh I can sympathize.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] not that there ARE such spells, just that there’s a theoretical basis for them being possible, based on the distorted curvature of space surrounding high velocity blinking.
You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: what is?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] and now we’re going to look it up and prove him wrong
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m fielding quite a few myself. Mostly from Lor’themar…I could swear, no sooner do I click back over to officer chat than his whisper tab lights up again.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] what’s going on?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] once we get volume 2…
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] it should be on the shelf below where you got that one.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Something or other with Garrosh and his demands. I’m not sure exactly.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] faded, dark red cover.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] fourth book from the left.
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] OK ON IT BRB
[LamontCranston] whispered: No, Spaz, it’s me.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] how do u know that?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] don’t let me interrupt if you’re talking to him
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i have a very good memory.
[LamontCranston] whispered: Mokvar.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] wait, how are you not sure if he’s going on and on about it?
You whispered to [LamontCranston]: dksjghksdyhgd
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: for him to do all these things he’s been doing… killing the dwarf in ironforge, the deal with magatha, everything…
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: KNOWING I was watching him .. and I know he knew…
[EdwardBear | Ji] has logged off.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] No, it’s fine. I’m really just tabbing over every few lines and giving him a “right” or an “I can see how that would be frustrating” or an “I don’t blame you at all for being upset.”
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: he would have to be an idiot
[LamontCranston] whispered: Now before you go tabbing over to do an IP trace, I’m routing through a proxy server to log on.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] huh
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] isn’t that kind of risky?
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: and if there’s one thing we both know about mokvar, its that he’s not an idiot
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] OK NOW WE’RE IN BUSINESS
You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: yeah
You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: no kidding
You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]: 1 sec
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] you have volume 2?
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: kk
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] yea
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I mean, how do you know what he just said was about being upset and frustrated?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’ve known Lor’themar a long time.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] now i just have to find the part about long-distance blinking
You whispered to [LamontCranston]: hang on, since when do YOU know how to mask IPs??
You whispered to [LamontCranston]: and are you crazy? what the hell are you doing??
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] page 273.
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WOW REALLY?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ok looking, hang on
[LamontCranston] whispered: Deliana called in a couple favors to set it up.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] right-hand column.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] under the diagram.
[LamontCranston] whispered: I just needed to get on for a minute to talk to you.
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] HOW DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] like i said, i have a good memory.
You whispered to [LamontCranston]: mokvar, you have to be careful – garona’s on and she was JUST asking about you
[LamontCranston] whispered: I saw her on. I whispered her with a dollar-spam ad and got her auto-ignore.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] sorry i’m going all quiet – trying to fix a bunch of things here
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ok here we go, see it says it wouldn’t work
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] “blinking beyond azerothian gravitational bounds would prove impractical due to drag produced by the blinking subject’s carried mass.”
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] blinking beyond azerothian gravity would be impractical
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: hey spazzle, I know you’re probably still busy there
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Quite all right. As it happens, Lor’themar is growing needy even by Lor’themarian standards. I’m finding myself having to pay attention to some of his prattling.
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: I need to get going
You whispered to [LamontCranston]: what are you even doing on here?
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: I’m leaving for pandaria in the morning and I need to finish packing
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] right.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] is he still upset?
[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered: I’ll talk to you later
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] keep reading.
[LamontCranston] whispered: Like I said, I wanted to talk to you.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Insofar as he hasn’t spontaneously ceased to be Lor’themar, yes.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] OH
[LamontCranston] whispered: I only have a minute, though.
[Nightengayle | Garona] has logged off.
You whispered to [LamontCranston]: ok…
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] “this obstacle could in theory be overcome by a dispersion of the grounding mass along the blinking vector via a highly concentrated arcane field”
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh…wow
[LamontCranston] whispered: You’re on the short list of people I feel like I can trust, and like I said, I need to talk to you.
[LamontCranston] whispered: But not here.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] which yes, we don’t know how to do yet.
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] but we’re talking theory here.
[LamontCranston] whispered: Meet me in Everlook in two days.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] that’s really impressive you knew that
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i read a lot.
User is not logged on.
User is not logged on.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] yea but sherman’s codex volume 2?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] that would be so far down on my reading list i would probably never get to it
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] actually, I need to get off of here for a little while
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] heh, kids. ;o)
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I know you wanted to talk to me about something – can we catch up later?
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s fine.
[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] HEY I’M THOUSANDS OF YEARS OLD
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If it’s easier, I can e-mail you about it as well.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] ok, sounds good
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] yes, and?
You have logged off.
Spazzle Speaks: Refugee
I swear the Mokvar situation keeps getting more unreal. Latest news: Mokvar and Deliana have escaped, and right now nobody knows where they are.
It gets extra weird when you hear how it happened. Ji Firepaw went to visit Mokvar at his house. After he’d been inside a few minutes, the guards standing watch outside heard noises and went in to check. They found Mokvar and Deliana standing over Ji – who was unconscious on the floor. As soon as the guards were inside, Mokvar hexed one of them. We’re not sure what happened to the other guard – she just reports blacking out for a few minutes, and when she came to, Mokvar and Deliana were both gone.
Ji wasn’t hurt badly. He’s a little black and blue from taking one good blow on the head, but it’s nothing that won’t heal up quickly enough. He says he was just going to visit Mokvar and bring him a few things – some snacks, I guess, since among the pandaren one of the highest displays of friendship is the gift of food – but once he was there, Mokvar and Deliana suddenly turned on him.
I know. It doesn’t make much sense to me, either.
Eitrigg was already at his wit’s end over Mokvar, and when word got to him about this…well, let’s just say I’m glad I wasn’t actually there. Rumor is that this latest piece of news made him go positively Garrosh. And here’s the other thing – I can understand why Eitrigg would be angry, obviously, but I still wouldn’t have expected him to respond the way he has. I would have figured he’d send out search teams to hunt down Mokvar, put a bounty on his capture…maybe even issue a declaration that he’s a criminal at large and wanted for crimes against the Horde. As it turns out, as of this morning, all of those options have been bypassed in favor for the one last step that – in orc culture, anyway – pretty much the worst penalty possible.
By order of Eitrigg, under the authority granted him by the Warchief in absentia, Mokvar has been banished from the Horde.
[Header image provided by Khizzara from Blog of the Treant, used here with permission and many thanks.]
Spazzle Speaks: Homecoming
Mokvar is back in Orgrimmar.
That much isn’t a surprise. The thought never would have occurred to me that he wouldn’t be back.
I just never would have expected this to be the way it happened.
Mokvar was captured in the Barrens by Krog and a security team. After word came back from Garona that Mokvar had met with Magatha Grimtotem, Eitrigg issued orders that he wanted him brought in. Mokvar and his human friend Deliana were found heading toward Ratchet, and were apprehended without much of a struggle.
I was able to poke into Grommash Hold when I saw the guards arrive with them, although I wasn’t able to stick around to see everything before I was ushered back out again. No surprise, Eitrigg was absolutely livid – he was upset enough about the allegations from Ironforge, but this new development with Magatha on top of it was more than even his temper could stand.
I’m nowhere near as good as Mokvar at recording conversations, so I’m not going to be able to provide an account of what I heard as well as he could. “What are you doing?” and “What are you thinking?” featured pretty prominently for Eitrigg early on, and I distinctly remember him going off along the lines of “You realize we’ll have to report all this to Garrosh, and when he hears half of it, it will be a miracle if we’re not able to hear him screaming all the way from Pandaria.” He kept trying to get Mokvar to explain himself somehow – he kept pointing out that they’d served together for years under Garrosh and Thrall, that he wanted there to be some reason that could account for the way Mokvar’s been acting lately. Mokvar wouldn’t give him anything. He would just shrug and pass on every question. “I would prefer not to,” or something like that.
I wasn’t there for everything that was said, but here’s where things stand, from what I’ve gathered: Mokvar is being held in what amounts to house arrest. He’s confined in his home with Kor’kron guards posted at all times – partly to make sure no new attackers reach him, but mostly to make sure he doesn’t go anywhere. Deliana is being held in “protective custody” pending transport back to Alliance territory.
Meanwhile, Garona is planning to join the next troop transport leaving for Pandaria next week to report everything that’s happened to Garrosh personally. Considering what she’s going to be reporting…I hope she goes in ready to pop Evasion.
In the Pale Moonlight
The less said about Ironforge, the better. Even if I wanted to discuss it, which I really don’t, now isn’t the time.
Deliana returned with me from the Eastern Kingdoms, and we met Ji briefly in Ratchet. He had good news (relatively speaking, at least) from the errand I’d sent him on, even though it had ended up running him from Desolace to Feralas then all the way back up to Stonetalon. After we all exchanged notes, I sent Ji back home to Orgrimmar. He resisted at first; he wanted to come with us for this next step. But he was already deeper in this mess than I’d wanted him to get, and besides, this was my fight, not his.
Liana and I arranged windrider passage from Ratchet down to Mudsprocket. From there, it was a fairly short ride over to the Wyrmbog, and the cave that used to be the lair of Onyxia.
We entered the cave. We didn’t venture far, just deep enough to find a corner where every point of entry was visible. Onyxia’s been dead for years, of course, but that didn’t stop it from being unnerving to go in there. I’m sure it would have been unsettling in any case, but considering the rumors Theldren had brought back about Nefarian’s old forces being restless again, I found myself still half-expecting a black dragon to come jumping out of the shadows at any moment. After all, Nefarian and Onyxia had both come back from the dead once already. Not that I’m one to talk; I’ve died a couple times myself. Spirits willing, I’d like the last time to stay the last for a good long while.
Eventually, we heard footsteps, and saw the light of a torch approaching from the same direction we’d come. The footsteps slowly drew nearer, until a single tauren stepped into view. Between his dark fur and the shadows that shifted around him in the dim cave, he probably seemed a lot larger than he really was.
TAUREN: You are Mokvar?
Mokvar nods.
MOKVAR: Are you alone?
The tauren tilts his head and cocks an eyebrow.
You know what I mean.
TAUREN: We honor the terms of the meeting, of course.
MOKVAR: <faint grin> So in other words, the rest of your friends are waiting right outside the cave.
DELIANA: Do you want me to check outside and see—
TAUREN: If we’d wished to harm you, little one, you would already know it.
MOKVAR: There’s no need, Liana. He has a point – if we’re screwed at this point, we’re screwed no matter what.
The tauren looks back and forth between Mokvar and Deliana, then back up the passageway through which he’d entered. He lifts a horn to his mouth and sounds a low blare. Deliana continues to watch him closely; the tauren returns her gaze bemusedly.
TAUREN: You’re going to make me think you don’t trust us, little one.
DELIANA: You might say you have something of a reputation.
TAUREN: <nods toward Mokvar> So do the orcs. That doesn’t seem to have affected you.
DELIANA: <shrugs> I like green.
The tauren chuckles. From the passageway, footsteps become audible again and grow progressively closer. After a moment, Magatha Grimtotem enters the chamber and scans the scene.
MAGATHA: Ah, Mokvar. It’s been too long.
MOKVAR: Magatha. I’m surprised you remember me, to tell the truth.
MAGATHA: I never forget a face. <looks to Deliana> This one is new, though.
MOKVAR: Yes, she is.
Magatha smirks.
MAGATHA: You’re not going to introduce us, Mokvar? How rude of you.
MOKVAR: On top of everything else, Magatha, do we really need to maintain the pretense that we’re friends now, too?
MAGATHA: I’m merely trying to be cordial. <to Deliana> Is he always this prickly?
DELIANA: No. You must have that effect on people. <looks to Mokvar, then back to Magatha> But, if it makes you feel any better… Deliana Hawthorne.
MAGATHA: The pleasure is mine.
DELIANA: It would have to be.
MAGATHA: I’m beginning to see why you two get along.
Magatha looks around the cavern.
This is an interesting choice of venues, Mokvar. Something of a step down from your usual accommodations, isn’t it?
MOKVAR: A change of scenery now and then can be a good thing. For instance, last I heard, you were on the run even from your own tribe.
MAGATHA: You’ll find the Grimtotem tend not to hold grudges long against their own kind. And I can be very persuasive.
MOKVAR: Just as well. It made it a little easier for Ji to get my message to you.
MAGATHA: I must say I was intrigued. I’m not unaccustomed to being the object of some…pursuit…but usually only from your Warchief’s usual lot of knuckle-dragging lackeys. Your furry friend, however…
MOKVAR: Not your typical Orgrimmar grunt, I know.
MAGATHA: Yes, he had a polysyllabic vocabulary. And spent a not-inconsiderable time musing over whether we had anything extra to eat.
MOKVAR: That’s Ji, yeah.
MAGATHA: Regardless, I’m quite curious as to why you would seek me out, given the company you usually keep. Then again… <looks to Deliana> …I doubt your current companion would be well received in Orgrimmar herself.
DELIANA: Maybe he’s trying to make me look better by bringing in one of the only people who would be less welcome.
MAGATHA: <chuckles> As plausible a theory as any. <looks back to Mokvar> But not the right one, I suspect.
MOKVAR: I have some business that’s going to require me to travel to the Firelands. Trouble is, I’m still relatively inexperienced as a shaman, and my ability to influence the elements isn’t nearly strong enough to keep me safe there. You, on the other hand…well, whatever else I might think of you, there’s no disputing you’re a powerful shaman.
MAGATHA: You flatter me.
MOKVAR: Take it with a grain of salt. It’s one strength offsetting I don’t know how many despicable things about you.
DELIANA: I bet she’d also go great with fries.
MAGATHA: If we’re going to be racist, I’m sure you would be quite adept at climbing trees and picking bananas. <sneers> Especially green ones.
MOKVAR: The point is, I think you might know a trick or two that could help keep me alive when I go. That’s why I wanted to meet with you.
MAGATHA: And why turn to me, Mokvar? There’s certainly no shortage of shaman in Orgrimmar you could have turned to.
MOKVAR: I’d prefer to keep this trip to the Firelands off the record.
MAGATHA: The Cenarion druids at Mouth Hyjal? Thrall and his Earthen Ring?
MOKVAR: Very off the record.
MAGATHA: It must be quite the scandal you’re sitting on if you’d rather turn to me than confide in your supposed friends.
MOKVAR: I have my reasons.
MAGATHA: And those reasons would be…?
MOKVAR: Mine.
Magatha grins.
MAGATHA: Cairne would have liked you.
MOKVAR: Then it’s a shame he was murdered by a traitor before he got the chance to know me.
MAGATHA: You shouldn’t talk about your Warchief like that.
DELIANA: As much as I’m enjoying going back and forth with this…
MAGATHA: Indeed, let’s cut to the chase. You need my help, Mokvar, so now for the real question: Why should I give it to you?
MOKVAR: We both know you don’t harbor any ill will for me, Magatha. I may work for Garrosh, but your quarrel is with him, not me. He’s the one you hate.
MAGATHA: True enough. But that’s merely why it wouldn’t be worth it to me to go out of my way to hurt you, Mokvar, not why it would be worth helping you.
MOKVAR: You’re focusing on the wrong part. Think about this, Magatha. I work for Garrosh. I’m there in Grommash Hold every day. Do you not think that makes me someone who would be…useful to have indebted to you?
MAGATHA: Surely you’re not naïve enough to assume I don’t already have my informants.
MOKVAR: Are they in Garrosh’s inner circle? Do they attend every meeting with him? Keep a written record, literally, of nearly everything he says and does?
MAGATHA: <smiles thoughtfully> Interesting…
MOKVAR: I thought you might think so.
MAGATHA: I think I may have an item or two that might help augment your abilities sufficiently for what you have in mind. Nothing worldshattering, mind you…
MOKVAR: That’s fine. I’ve already lived through too many shattered worlds as it is.
MAGATHA: We can meet again here for the exchange. Tomorrow at this time?
DELIANA: How do we know you won’t just be setting a trap?
MAGATHA: How did you know I wasn’t setting one tonight? There are two of you – three if you count your bouncing bear friend. I could bring dozens with a word. But Mokvar was right about one thing – I have nothing to gain from harming him. And whatever else you might think of me, I’m not in the habit of doing harm when there’s no benefit to myself or my tribe.
MOKVAR: Tomorrow night, then.
MAGATHA: Tomorrow night.
Magatha gestures to the other Grimtotem, and they make their way back up the passage.
DELIANA: Are you sure about this?
MOKVAR: Not even remotely. I may spend the next year washing my hands.
Mokvar peers up the dark passageway for several moments.
I think we’re clear.
Mokvar and Deliana start to walk up toward the cave exit. As the passage narrows, a low whooshing sound is heard. Deliana hesitates a moment while glancing around.
DELIANA: <whispering> Did you hear that?
Mokvar nods.
<whispering> There’s someone stealthed in here.
MOKVAR: <whispering> It’s Garona. She came in not far behind us when we arrived.
DELIANA: <whispering> You knew she was following us?
MOKVAR: <whispering> I was counting on it.
We’re staying in Mudsprocket until we go back to Onyxia’s lair tomorrow night. With any luck, things will go off without a hitch there, and Magatha will have something useful for me. Then that much will be over and done with.
Then comes the hard part.
Mokvar
Moving on to Plan B
This package arrived for me a few days ago through Grommash Hold – I guess as a guest blogger these days I’m in the mailbag business myself.
This package is addressed to:
Mokvar
c/o Garrosh Hellscream, Warchief
Grommash Hold, Orgrimmar
Kalimdor, Azeroth
It arrives looking quite a bit the worse for wear. Its sides are battered and one corner has been entirely crushed in. The brown paper wrapping has been dirtied and torn but the numerous postmarks stamped on it are still legible. Although it seems to have originated in Orgrimmar it appears to have been mysteriously routed through Ratchet, Booty Bay, Grom’gol Base Camp, Brill and finally back to Orgrimmar.
Inside the box is a large variety of random items in various states of disrepair: A partial stack of 14 Ankhs; a rabbit’s foot with several patches of fur missing; a small glass vial labeled “MOJO” in carefully penned block letters; a rather larger glass bottle labeled “TROLL SWEAT” in the same handwriting; a well-loved toy teddy bear; partial stacks of mageweave, frostweave and windwool bandages; 3 minor health potions and a large bag of crumbs which might be the remains of several dozen chocolate cookies.
At the very bottom of the box is a scrap of parchment which reads:
Mokvar,
How you doin’, mon? I hear you been injured somewhat and even killed! Good t’ing it didn’t take dis time. We shaman gotta stick together, so here are some t’ings to help you feel better soon.
Take care and watch yer back, mon.
–Kaeliss, Valley of the Spirits, Orgrimmar
Thanks, Kaeliss. I appreciate the gesture. Somehow I get the feeling that I might need all that stuff in the days ahead. (Although, what’s up with the troll sweat? I’ve never really understood why you guys bottle that stuff.)
So, speaking of which…and speaking of the mail… There’s good news and there’s bad news.
The good news is that since I, you know, read this blog, I know now that Garrosh has had Garona shadowing me and knows I’ve been meeting with Deliana. (At least he meant well, I suppose.)
The bad news is that Garrosh knows I’ve been meeting with Deliana. And that I’ve been up to something in Winterspring. And apparently sneaking around. And spirits only know how many dots he’s been connecting in his head based on what Garona told him.
So…there goes my plan to bring this whole story to Garrosh.
I suppose I still could. Even considering that he’s suspicious now, predisposed to assume the worst, and probably irritable even by Garrosh standards, I suppose I could still try to go to him with this. I could lay out the whole story, and explain why I’ve been keeping these things hidden, and why I’ve been working with a human whose last mailing address was in Ironforge. And I could detail all of this to Garrosh and hope he’ll listen with an open mind and be reasonable and even-handed in his response.
So, yeah, see? There goes my plan to bring this whole story to Garrosh.
At least not yet. At this point, sooner or later I’m going to have to answer to Garrosh, and when I do, the only chance I’m going to have is if have some definite, final answers to all of this – as in, problem solved, spectral assassins dealt with, Deliana long gone from Horde territory, all loose ends tied up. I can’t leave any room for any kind of “What about X?” “Yeah, uh, still working on that” to happen.
And I have to do all this before Garrosh gets back from Pandaria.
And I also have to do this while I know I’m being watched. Can I mention how unnerving that is, by the way?
(Hi, Garona, if you happen to be stealthed in the room right now and looking over my shoulder while I’m typing this.)
(Also, please look away for a minute while I close a few browser tabs. Thanks.)
Mokvar
[Header image (and reader mail!) provided by Khizzara from Blog of the Treant, used here with permission and many thanks.]
Monday mailbag
I arrived a couple days ago here at the Sanctum of Two Moons, and I’ve been getting settled in and learning the lay of the land since then. While we have a little break in the action, I figured this might be a good time to dip into the ol’ mailbag…
To Garrosh Hellscream, Warchief of the Horde:
Call off the search patrols! I’m ok!
I know everyone must have been sick with worry the last few months since my sudden disappearance, (my colleagues up in Northrend must have been particularly disturbed by my absence); however, I can reassure you all that I am finally safe and sound.
Where have I been, you might ask? Ah, friend, that is a tale indeed! A tale of wonder and adventure! I was swimming with the Orca folk in the northern oceans and discovered a new shape-shifting technique that permitted me to assume the very form of a noble whale person myself. Wearing my new visage, I was able to communicate with them in their own language — a very melodious tongue with beautiful but complex rules of grammar — and became assimilated into their culture.
Engrossed in my cetacean studies, I lost track of time and eventually track of my own self. I forgot my previous life as a Night Elf and the thought of living on land became as alien to me as the thought of drinking fire would be to any but a fire elemental. I lived as a whale; I laughed as a whale; I loved as a whale; and finally I migrated south with the rest of my pod.
O! What a journey that was! The tales I could tell of the fantastical denizens of the deep! But alas! I have not the space here to elaborate further. (Look for my upcoming book on my experiences, working title: “Darling it’s Better Down Where it’s Wetter”.)
But all good things must come to an end. There was an enormous storm, the violence of which penetrated even the depths of the sea. I was separated from my pod and flung about at the mercy of the waves. At last I was washed up on dry land and lay helplessly beached, drying out in the sun. I looked death in the eye that day and all hope left me. At last I fell unconscious and lay senseless on the shore.
When I came to I was surrounded by curious creatures. They looked like some sort of Furbolg, but were covered with black and white fur from head to toe and called themselves “Pandaren”. They clothed me and helped me to my feet, at which point I realized that I was a Night Elf again. All my memories came flooding back. I was my full self once more.
I spent a few days in the care of these kind Pandaren. They told me many fascinating stories about this previously unknown land and informed me that many other peoples from both the Horde and the Alliance had recently arrived and made contact with them. And so I am writing you this missive to allay your fears about my welfare.
Also, could you please lend me a small amount of gold and arrange transportation for me back to Northrend? I seem to have misplaced all my possessions. Thanks.
–Arch Druid Lathorius, D.E.H.T.A.
Huh. Okay, so…I’m going to set aside the fact that Lather-on-us here seems to think he and I are buddies or something, because hey, as long as he thinks I can stand the sight of him, maybe that helps tone down the whining and complaining and protesting every time I try to eat a ham on rye.
So setting that aside… Dude, you were missing? Was I supposed to notice that shit?
Actually, come to think of it, you WERE all AWOL that time I went to check in with your DEHTA flunkies, weren’t you? But man, that was AGES ago – were you seriously out mucking around with the fishes all that time?
Still, funny that you would wind up landing in the same place that everyone else has been converging on lately. Especially since it’s the same place that was hidden and cloaked in mists and totally unreachable and inaccessible to anyone for every and ever for like thousands of years until everybody and their uncle started winding up there like a month ago. I would say it’s what all the cool kids are doing, but, you know, that doesn’t really help explain YOU being here. Or Varian. Or…well, pretty much anyone other than me. But whatever. OH HEY, actually, you know one other cool kid who HAS turned up here in Pandaria? Hemet Nesingwary! You know him, right? Small world.
As for the gold… Yeah, um, I think you’re gonna need to scrape together cab fare for yourself. I gave at the office. Maybe see if you can do some busywork for the Anglers in exchange for a little pocket change?
I’m guessing your blog has been lagging behind while you venture into Pandaria. I recently encountered you in the Shrine of Two Moons during your visit. Unfortunately, I was under the influence of a Blingtron 4000, and looked like a human instead of a proud Horde member. See the attached photos for how poorly this went for me.
Enjoy the rest of your trip!
–WookieeBH
Yeesh, dude, what’s up with the “lagging behind” shit, I only just got here a couple days ago. I do remember you, though, Wookiee – among the many random asshats who swung by to make my day more tedious, you and your little getup were especially asshattery. Although I did kind of get a chuckle out of it when your dog or hyena or whatever took a dump on Malkorok’s boots. Dude gets so grumpy about things. Heh.
Anyway, as you can see from the pictures, I’ve been hanging out at the Sanctum of Two Moons for the past couple days, which let me tell you is a pretty boss place. Unfortunately, I only had a couple hours to enjoy it before I was joined by – as you can also see from the pictures – our old friend Regent-Lord Hair-Care. Whose mood, by the way, hasn’t improved much lately. Only, get this – in light of some of the slapping-around I’ve had to give him lately, now he feels the need to bring company everywhere he goes:
This would be Ellendra Palescorn…his bodyguard.
Yes, his bodyguard.
I swear, only among the blood elves would it go over as a plan to be like, “You know, I really need someone to help keep my scrawny, twiggy ass safe”…and then hire someone scrawnier and twiggier.
Thank goodness they’re good at magic, is all I’m gonna say.
I still can’t believe Vol’jin be dead, mon! But I betcha he always gonna he wit us in spirit. I can practically feel his spirit wit me now, mon – it’s almost like he be right here writin’ dis letter wit me!
I know ya got ya Kor’kron people down here in de Echo Isles ta keep us safe, mon, but I don’ be likin’ dis Gul’tar guy dey got in charge. I’m tellin’ ya, sometin’ bad gonna happen wit day guy! If ya be askin’ me, I tink ya betta keep a close eye on what he goin’ on down here. Wouldn’t want sometin’ slippin’ between da cracks, ya know, mon?
–Bob, Echo Isles
Oh, great, this guy again. And so of course, just as soon as I get ONE grumbling troll out of my hair, ANOTHER one pops up to take his place. Almost like Vol’jin isn’t gone at all, indeed.
Actually, come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve mentioned that before, so just in case you’ve been living under a rock the last couple weeks…you remember that mission I’d sent Vol’jin on when he first got to Pandaria? Yeah. Didn’t go so well for him. Boo hoo. Moving on.
So anyway, Bobbo, sorry if you don’t like the cut of Gul’tar’s jib, whatever a jib is, but you know what? I’m not going to waste my time trying to micromanage every move my people make down there. If Gul’tar needs anything, I’m pretty certain he’ll let me know, and if anything important is going on there, I’m damn sure they’ll send word to me about it. So until I hear something from them, I’ll be keeping my nose out of the goings-on down in the Echo Isles, which is a good thing what with the smell down there because WTF are you trolls burning all the time anyway?
(the parchment appears to have been chewed on a bit on one corner and has a few smears of dark mud at the bottom)
Hail Warchief!
I am writing to you to apply for the position of scribe. I have been taught in the very best tents of Thunder Bluff. I am a tauren, albeit a bit small, and that wet dog smell is a condition I have. Some say I appear to be wearing a badly made tauren suit, but that’s hurtful because I got these stitches in service to the Horde! I wish to put my skills to use serving my Warchief! I feel that I would be best suited for this position given my extensive linguistic skills and utter loyalty. After all, you can’t be too careful these days. There could be Alliance spies anywhere. As a professional tracker I could help with this also. Afterall, it’d be ashamed if anything….happened. I hope my Warchief finds me worthy of being right by his side.
–Legit Tauren Scribe
Hey, LTS, thanks for writing in. I’m glad people are still showing interest in the scribe position after that…erm…mixed-results audition thing. Right now I think I’m going to see how things work out with Gurtash covering the scribing, in his own doodly sort of way, but I’ll definitely keep you in line. It wouldn’t hurt at all to have a couple competent backup options, in case the kid gets too busy with other assignments or what-have-you. That said, with any luck it won’t be too long before Mokvar’s back on the job, assuming we can get his weird-ass marked-for-death situation under wraps sometime soon.
Reporting in re: your special assignment. As per your request, have been maintaining stealthed surveillance on Mokvar in order to provide additional protection in light of recent attacks.
Have come across unexpected complications.
While in Winterspring with his panda friend, Mokvar was seen meeting with an unidentified human woman. The two seemed very familiar; shortly thereafter embarked together on journey to Darkwhisper Gorge. Seen scouring cave formerly occupied by now-deceased imp. Appeared to be searching for something; overheard references to relic of some kind, demonic power, domination of wills.
Will continue to monitor Mokvar’s activities and continue protection against attackers until further instructions received.
–Garona Halforcen, Everlook
The…FUCK?
So hang on, I worry about Mokvar’s safety to the point that I assign one of the best rogues in the business to follow his ass around and look out for him while I’m away…and THIS is what I get for it? Meeting up with some HUMAN? Sneaking around trying to do spirits know WHAT?
Yeah, this…this is NOT going to be good for my mood, let me tell you that right now.
In fact, I think on that note it’s time for me to step away from the computer for a few. And possibly go smack someone or something around for a little while.
More soon.
Demonology Anonymous
Now for the hard part.
I left out a few details last time about my past with the Veiled Blade, and everything that’s been going on recently.
I said before that when we killed Lord Valthalak, we took his spellbook along with the pieces of an amulet that ended up bringing the spectral assassins down on us. But there was one more part of the spoils: a demon relic called the Nether Prism, a crystal that could be used, among other things, to focus fel energies and dominate the will of demons. I was a warlock back in those days, and I arranged to have the prism included as part of our deal with Malkorok. I wanted to see how much the Prism could be used to augment my powers.
I thought I could handle it. I thought wrong.
The Prism magnified the power of my spells for sure, and for brief windows of time I could use it to control powerful demons. At least more powerful than the dime-a-dozen ones that your garden variety warlocks can summon. In more powerful hands than mine, I suppose it could have been used on even greater ones. But if there’s one thing I learned, it was that I was nowhere near warlock enough to master the energies that flowed through that crystal and keep them under control.
It became pretty clear to me that I couldn’t afford to keep toying around with the Prism. The problem was, though, that it wasn’t going to be as simple as sticking it in the back of the sock drawer and forgetting about it. The Nether Prism radiated fel energies. Demons were drawn to it. And using its magic to deal with the demons when they turned up would just make it radiate more.
As if life wasn’t already too complicated, it was at this point that I learned Valthalak’s spectral assassins were making short work of the rest of the Veiled Blade. I couldn’t keep taking my chances running around from place to place alone. So I turned to Thrall. He offered me sanctuary in Orgrimmar; all he asked was that I be on hand to aid the Warchief when needed. I only ever told him the barest details about my past. I never said a word about the Nether Prism. Thrall was only barely willing to tolerate the presence of warlocks in Orgrimmar at all, given the orcs’ history; I couldn’t imagine he would have been willing to take me in if he’d known the whole story. It’s hardly a coincidence that that was when I abandoned demonology altogether and took up shamanism. I wasn’t about the bring dishonor upon the man who’d given me a safe haven, or overstay my welcome.
So, the Nether Prism had to go. In the last days before I moved to Orgrimmar, I traveled to Darkwhisper Gorge in Winterspring. Hidden away in a cave there was an imp named Vi’el, a collector of relics and exotic items. I passed the Prism off onto him and hoped he wouldn’t realize what he had on his hands. I know looking back that it probably wasn’t the wisest move in the world, but at that point I just wanted the blasted thing off my hands. So I left it with Vi’el, and went on to Orgrimmar to begin my new life. And started working out ways to deal with the spectral assassins before they came knocking on my door.
For a while, it worked. I thought that chapter was done. But as often ends up being the case around here, life still had one more surprise epilogue waiting.
As soon as the spectral assassins attacked me in the Drag, I knew what they were and where they were from. Even with Ji fighting by my side, they were able to wear me down fairly quickly; Ji kept fending them off as best he could while I watched for an opening to pop back up. That was the point when we had one more surprise guest, this time a face from the past that was actually welcome: Deliana. She’d stealthed her way into Orgrimmar to come looking for me, and after she helped Ji and I fight off the assassins, she snuck back with us to my house to compare notes.
The notes weren’t good. Something had stirred Valthalak’s spirit; I remember when he’d been laid to rest the first last time, the adventurers I’d sent mentioned him saying something about things being settled “for now,” but I didn’t really give it much thought at the time. Now, though, he was awake again and sending out his assassins. Only this time, it wasn’t over the amulet; it was over the Nether Prism.
From Deliana’s perspective, this all started with Theldren turned up in Ironforge, seeking protection from Moira Thaurissan. Something had brought the last scattered remains of Nefarian’s old minions out of hiding and sent them scrambling after anything demon-related they could find. Deliana overheard Theldren repeating that “something’s coming,” whatever that means. We don’t know most of the why’s and wherefores; all we do know is that whatever’s behind it has stirred Valthalak enough to make him want his old trinket back.
I wasn’t going to go to Garrosh with any of this. I didn’t think he would have received the last bit about my past with the demons well in the best of circumstances, much less now that we’d been through that ordeal with the Burning Legion in the other timeline. Not to mention the minor detail that I was fraternizing with a human in Deliana. We decided that we had to keep her involvement in all of this a secret; Ji, being maybe the one person who was truly neutral to all of this, came into our confidence.
It became pretty clear pretty quickly that it wasn’t going to be possible for Deliana to stay hidden in Orgrimmar, especially after Garrosh stepped up security for me after the attack. (At least he meant well.) Deliana even had a run-in with Malkorok at one point when he was coming to talk to me and happened to catch her sneaking her way to my house. She was only able to get away because Ji happened along and was able to blindside Malkorok with a Quaking Palm that stunned him. We got Deliana out of Orgrimmar and she went into hiding in Azshara, with Ji stepping up to ferry messages back and forth between us.
Which brings us to Winterspring. The trip to Timbermaw Hold was basically just a cover for us to meet up with Deliana in Everlook, and from there…Darkwhisper Gorge, to find Vi’el. After the Cataclysm, most of the demons had abandoned the gorge for the underground caves, and the Twilight’s Hammer had moved in. Now the cultists were gone and the demons were back in force – and gone crazy, fighting among themselves. Even back in the day, there weren’t this many of them. We could barely turn around without being jumped by another felguard or pack of felhounds.
We found Vi’el at his cave – dead. The cave had been ransacked; half of the belongings that remained had been burned, singed with green flames. We turned the place upside down, but it became apparent fairly quickly that there wasn’t anything to be found.
I’m not sure where we go from here. The spectral assassins are still coming, Krog already having intercepted one just the other day. Vi’el was the only lead we had back to the Nether Prism, which I have to figure is our only means of getting the situation under control. Short of dying. Again. Deliana has gone back into hiding in Azshara while we come up with a new plan. I think I might have one more possible stone to turn over, but it may reach the point – in fact, I suspect it will soon – when I need to give up the secrecy and bring all this to Garrosh. Hopefully he’ll understand.
I should maybe go see about making some lemon squares.
Mokvar
